Girls When The Media They're Obsessed With Is Never Going To Be As Good As They Wish It Could Be

Leon S Kennedy is 100% the type of guy to get drunk and have no idea what’s going on around him.

You lean in to kiss him and he pushes you away by the shoulder and tells you he has a wife.

When you try to convince him that you are his wife, this man deadass just goes “nuh uh” and continues declining your advances.

He finally decides he’s done and calls his wife to pick him up and when your phone rings he’s just like “no fucking way dude”

His micro-expressions have me in a chokehold….

thinking so very hard about completely owning The Corinthian. He's devoted. He's obsessed. He can't imagine a moment without you...

There's so many thoughts in here omg I'm working on something so fine.

like a solid 60% of weird fandom tropes were invented by women who needed slightly more avant garde ways to fuck spock.... wanting to fuck spock is in many ways a load bearing pillar of fandom like if u took it away the source code would just break theres like a molecule of wanting to fuck spock or reaction to everyone wanting to fuck spock within the heart of fanfic all fanfiction is about wanting to fuck spock except fanfic about wanting to fuck spock which is about women in stem

I know the polls over, but the results? Ashley would totally be trying to get the Mary Kay pink Cadillac

Poll: Which female Resident Evil character is most likely to fall for a pyramid scheme?

I had a different poll planned for today but the thought of this actually happening made me laugh so here it is.

Falling for a pyramid scheme could happen to any of us... right?

No?

Well, it's gonna happen to one of these gals.

"Winner" goes on to face the "winner" of the male poll so make sure to vote in both!

The Corinthian wearing these. That’s all.

Shifter

An illusion turns out to be the truth

*Leon’s daughter is about 6*

Leon’s shoulders tense as his daughter’s scream echoes down the hallway again.

“Don’t listen to that Leon, it’s just trying to trick you,” Chris whispers creeping just slightly ahead of Leon.

“I know that. Doesn’t make it any less unnerving though.”

“I know… I can’t imagine.”

The scream comes again, much longer this time before breaking down into hiccuping sobs.

“Daddy.. where are you? I'm scared.”

“I’m coming sweetheart, just be brave a little longer, okay?”

“Leon what the fuck is wrong with you,” Chris hisses, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop.

“We’re looking for the thing anyways, and it could look like anyone, besides if this keeps up I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“Just don’t make your funeral mine.”

“Dying’s not really an option for me, it’d upset my girls too much,” he states cockily, pushing further down the hallway.

“God, remind me to never get married, you’ve turned into such a loser.”

“Whatever, asshole.”

The end of the hallway opens up into a giant chamber, appearing to have once been part of an atrium. Moonlight streams down from above, and Leon’s phone begins to ring.

The construction of the chamber amplified every little sound, so the drilling sound of his ringtone was deafening. He’s about to ignore the call and send it to voicemail when he realizes it’s his wife.

He answers it cautiously, trying to stay alert to the possible danger around him.

“Leon,” she cries, oh she’s absolutely frantic. “You’re still in France, right?”

“Yes darling I’m still here. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been calling you for hours, I went to pick Emmy up from school and they told me you’d already gotten her.” He just hangs up and tucks his phone back into his pocket.

Oh god. That thing had taken his baby to get at him. Or maybe there was more than one. His mind was racing with so many different possibilities he couldn’t focus.

“Daddy,” the little girl cries, having heard her fathers voice.

“Where are you baby? Daddy’s here,” he calls, searching around frantically for his daughter.

“I’m over here daddy!”

“No, daddy I’m over here! The monster’s here somewhere.”

“Split off,” Chris whispers, heading towards one of the voices and gesturing Leon towards the other.

Leon finds her cowering between a stone coffin and it’s lid leaning against it.

“I’m here honey,” Leon whispers, reaching out a hand towards the little girl.

“Are you my real daddy,” she questions, just barely sticking her face out enough for him to see her bright blue eyes.

“I am, I promise, and if you show me where the monster is I can get rid of it and we can go home to mommy,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around her and pointing his gun at her head, squeezing his eyes shut and pulling the trigger.

The body in his arms turns into a viscous sludge as the shape-shifter dies, returning to its true form.

“Chris, is she safe,” Leon calls, heading around a large pillar to where Chris and Emmy are hiding.

“Yeah, she’s alright,” he replies, unwrapping his arms from the little girl, letting her go to Leon. “How’d you know that it was the shape-shifter so quickly?”

Leon pulls his weeping daughter into his arms and squeezes her to his chest. “My little girls eyes are brown, like her mothers, not blue.”

“I see. Good thing you had to deal with it, not me, I’d have never been able to tell. Thing would have killed me.”

“We got Evac on the way?”

“Landing now,” Chris confirms, firing a flare through the once vaulted ceilings to let the helicopter know where they are.

By the time they load into the helicopter, Emmy’s already asleep clinging to Leon’s chest while he holds her tight to his body, his eyes wild and untrusting.

“Leon, it’s okay. You have her, she’s safe now.”

“This should have never happened. I need to cover my tracks better. I…need to call my wife,” he mumbles, reaching into his pocket, trying not to wake the child clinging to him.

“Leon. Leon, let me, you need to rest. You’ve been through a lot .”

Leon just weakly hands his phone across the aisle to Chris, who dials Leon’s wife.

When she answers she’s frantic, which made sense considering Leon had just hung up on her in the atrium. “Leon, what's going on? Is everything okay? Did you find Emmy?”

“Hey, Mrs. Kennedy, it’s Chris. Everything’s alright now. Emmy’s safe. We’re on our way home now.”

“Can I talk to Leon?”

“He’s not really… up to that right now. I think he’s in shock.”

“Oh. I see. I’ll see him when he gets home I guess.”

When Leon finally gets home he walks straight up the stairs, gently waking Emmy up and getting her ready for a bath.

“Leon is everything alright,” you question, coming up beside him, inspecting your daughter to make sure she’s not injured.

“Just… let me get her put to bed and then we can talk about it.”

You nod silently and go back into your shared room.

After a few minutes he comes into the bedroom, carrying a now clean, and very sleepy Emmy in his arms. He lays her down on the bed beside you and turns to riffle through a drawer for some clothes before disappearing back into the bathroom.

When he returns he himself is fresh and clean, all the scratches that were previously hidden by dirt were now visible as he slid into the bed, wrapping his arms around his daughter and his wife, squeezing them both tightly.

“It was pretending to be her. I tried not to look when I killed it, but it was so convincing, and even now I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I was wrong. I’d never be able to forgive myself.”

“But you weren’t, and you’re both here now, and that’s all that matters. How did you tell the difference?”

“Its eyes were blue. It’s terrifying that I did that based on such a small notion. I love you both so much. No matter what, I’ll do anything for you. I can’t lose you,” he whispers, his eyes glassy with tears as he looks at you.

“I know Leon. We’re alright. Everything’s okay now.”

“I hope that’s true,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

I’m so fucking toasted but I hope this makes sense

i love writing porn and i wont feel bad about it. understanding the eroticism of a character is character analysis if u are enlightened.

I keep thinking about how Selina Kyle visiting Bruce for the first time after he gets custody of Damian would go. Like she thinks this is going to be like any other visit with her not-boyfriend and then here comes this absolutely murderous preschooler with his giant green eyes, and she can't help but scoop him up like one of her strays. Bruce recognizes the mischievous glint she gets in her eyes when she knows she's found a prize he won't take from her and there'll be absolutely no amount of "Selina, No" that can keep her from teaching him to be more of a menace than he already is.