Thecesiumrobot - Ha.

I ask them why they ate an entire jar of mayonnaise

Writing Prompt #9

You think your roommate has been stealing your food from the fridge, but every time you confront them, they deny it. In an attempt to catch them in the act, you hide a video camera in your kitchen and wait. You wait a few days to review the footage, and when you do, you’re horrified.

What do you see?

Public School

One time in elementary school a kid was arguing with another kid and he punched him, ran off, climbed a 13 ft. tall chain-link fence, and ran through a canal. Nobody saw him for the rest of the day.

The Paul Giamatti face that guards the underworld

modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife

I don’t really know how to say this but I’m in desperate need of funds in 22 days due to my family being evicted. This was very sudden and I’m not sure what to do. So I would be very grateful if anyone wishes to commission me! 

It will mean so much to me if anyone wishes to help with gathering funds! Here is my ko-fi if anyone wishes to donate! 

Slytherin but I need to sit in the corner and think now

I made a quiz, its 36 questions, and y’all, I play-tested this, I got feedback, I hyper-analyzed, its good. I wasn’t like, I was gonna just let hogwarts houses die but apparently y’all be like,,, not knowing what a slytherin or hufflepuff is no shade and if all these quizzes are gonna ask you this question anyways: this is it. Idiot tested. Idiot approved

take it here! or copy paste if you need to https://uquiz.com/oz0xOu

Count Von Count

In Sesame Street, the vampire is the one who counts and teaches you how to do basic math. Suspiciously, there is an old myth that if you throw salt or rice down when a vamp is chasing you, they HAVE to count every grain. Thus, when Count Von Count stops counting, he'll eat your kids.

Really? *sobs* right in frONt oF my sandwich?

I JUST. It’s this post’s idea not mine (although I changed it a little bit). 

I mean dang do I like me some sad Lucretia

(Tumblr lowers it’s def so much I hate it click on it for higher def)

Thanks again! 💙

Late at night, when they think everyone’s asleep, sole plays the “Hi Honey!” tape to help them sleep. The companions often hear quiet, muffled sobbing. They think it’s best to leave it alone.

Every time

Hello.

Hope this finds you well. Yesterday we in Russia faced a dehumanizing bill proposed by an ultraconservative deputy that, in fact:

1. adds an "assigned gender at birth" field to our birth records

2. forbids to change birth certificates (legal gender change)

3. presumably forbids to change gender in ID cards (it is bound to changes in birth cert)

4. FORCES to change your replaced birth certificates back to gender assigned at birth (and presumably in ID cards by same reason) if you’ve changed it before

5. forbids any trans person to adopt children

6. forbids any trans person to get married

There is some translated info about that law:

https://twitter.com/VioletOlya/status/1283154150797332481 (a thread)

https://twitter.com/liveshowsdnp/status/1283332792252805121 (a thread)

And analysis made by lawyers: https://vk.com/wall-41739538_5260 (ru) + machine translation: https://telegra.ph/Machine-translation-of-analysis-of-anti-transgender-bill-made-by-the-project-of-legal-assistance-to-transgender-people-07-15

I’d really appreciate it if you could help us to get international support to stop this bill, for example, tweet about this with the #ProtectRussianTransLives hashtag. There is a petition on change.org: https://www.change.org/p/госдума-отклоните-законопроект-о-запрете-трансгендерным-людям-на-брак-и-усыновление-детей that needs support too.

Please, spread this information.