Latest Posts by thedearladydisdain - Page 4
Honestly, the term "Sex Strike" makes me feel uncomfortable. You strike when you refuse to do your job. Labor that is your responsibility. "Sex Strike" implies that women are denying, gatekeeping something that men are owed. A woman isn't taking anything from men when she chooses not to have sex with them, so it shouldn't count as a strike even if she is doing it temporarily until situation improves. Anyone else?
idk if there's like a good anwser to this or not but
i always wondered why the solution for my dysphoria was hormones and surgery because the solution for my eating disorder isn't to just lose weight, the solution to my anxiety isn't to isolate myself, the solution for my ocd isn't to give into every compulsion, so why is the only solution for my dysphoria giving into it and letting it control my life?
Your rights and freedom end where another person's rights and freedom begins. This is why sex can never be a human right. Sex is an activity shared between people. You cannot give one person the legal right to demand sex without taking away another person's agency to say no.
sometimes i wish i could tell other women that you can just stop removing your body hair and in many cases the consequences will be way less severe than u expect. you can go to the beach with all your leg hair intact and nobody will stop you or say a thing. you can stop waxing your upper lip and people won’t stare at it the way u might be bracing yourself for. you can quit plucking your brows and eventually they will grow back into themselves and no one will even notice. like for sure women are punished for not participating in beauty rituals but i also feel like so much of it is like The Panopticon sometimes where you just convince yourself that if u stop that kind of gendered upkeep everyone will be mad and stop talking to u forever when in reality you just keep existing and nothing remarkable happens. it’s not always easy but you can kind of just stop for real
For me it’s about having the freedom to touch my own skin.
I stopped regularly using makeup earlier this year, it wasn’t really a conscious decision, just the way things turned out. Anyway after I’d been makeup-free for a couple of months I ended up wearing some makeup for an event, and it wasn’t even a lot of makeup compared to what I’d worn previously. But almost immediately I became so conscious of my face, I didn’t want to rub my eye for fear of smearing my eye makeup, or to eat too quickly for fear of ruining my lipstick.
I only wore the makeup for a few hours, and it was honestly so mentally draining having to constantly monitor myself.
So anyway, I’m hoping to keep up my makeup free journey into 2025! Wish me luck!
Reblog this and add a reason you dont wear make up
I’ll start 😊
There are no ingredients listed nor do make up companies answer to any type of health standards
men are like, nooo don’t recognize that you have similar struggles to all kinds of women, you’re so easy to manipulate when ur isolated aha
I grew up fairly sheltered - not in the religious/tradwife way, just in the way that my family were decently well off and there are things that I never had to do for myself before now. Learning to stand on my own two feet has been a journey and a half, and honestly I’m still on that journey, I think I will be for quite some time…
What I guess I’m trying to articulate is that even with a good start in life, parents who did everything they could to give me a good upbringing and a good education at my fingertips, there are still a lot of things I’m having to figure out for myself. Most of the time it is stuff that I can get an answer either from Google or from a well placed phone call. But I can’t even begin to imagine how much harder my life would have been if my upbringing had left me with 0 real world skills.
It’s scary enough having to figure out the little things by myself, my heart bleeds for every woman who has to figure out the big things for/by herself.
I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family
I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives
Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.
The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.
Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.
It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.
She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.
I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).
Keep on running up that hill, ladies.
Being resourceful isn't ghetto. Being resourceful isn't "redneck" shit. Being resourceful will always be more impressive than casual consumerism. Making something you need or want out of what you already have will always be more impressive than funneling money into Amazon.
you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands
“Of all the female sins, hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even love. If we have desires, we are expected to conceal them, to control them, to keep ourselves in check. We are supposed to be objects of desire, not desiring beings. We do not need food: in many ways, we are food, trainable meat, lambs queueing up to buy mint sauce. We consume only what we are told to, from lipstick to life insurance, and only what will make us more consumable ourselves, the better to be chewed up and swallowed by a machine that wants our work, our money, our sexuality broken down into bite-sized chunks.”
— Laurie Penny
"I'm pretty with makeup"
"I'm pretty without makeup"
Radical feminism: "It doesn't matter if you're pretty at all. You don't exist to be pretty."
"Female body hair is okay"
"Female body hair is not okay"
Radical Feminism: "Female body hair simply exists and is completely neutral. Talking about whether its 'okay' doesn't even make sense."
"Presenting THIS way makes you a man"
"Presenting THIS way makes you a woman"
Radical feminism: "Nothing about the way you present makes you a man or woman. Gender isn't real."
I love that radical feminism just removes you from so many binaries of thought. It makes them completely nonsensical. Why would I analyze whether I'm pretty when it doesn't matter either way? Why is the acceptability of my body hair even a subject of discussion? It merely exists, just like the bark on a tree. Does society sit around and debate whether a tree ought to be able to keep its bark?
I've come to realize that I've been handed a ton of "either/or" choices about who I am all my life and told to make a decision on each one. And they were all illusions! I just exist. I never had to justify the way I am or even formulate an opinion on it.
I’m so mad I didn’t make this observation before… I cant unsee it now😳
This photo made my day. Solidarity with #GiselePelicot and all survivors.
nobody will ever convince me the act of getting purely cosmetic surgeries- especially life threatening ones, is more empowering than coming to terms with your body. you don’t have to love your body. you don’t even have to like it. getting cosmetic procedures will only make you hate all the other things you don’t like about yourself even more. your body was not made to be “attractive”. and let me clarify, none of this blame is to be based on women in the big picture. yes- women have undeniably contributed to the normalization of these invasive and dangerous surgeries, this wouldn’t even be an issue if men didn’t think the entire existence of a woman is to cater to them.