Drawing In My Bullet Journal.

me, closing document: this is awful and pointless

random commenter on ao3: this made me smile (:

me, opening document: guess i’ll write 50k more

obviously love isn’t easy, but there’s something to be said about finding the person that makes it feel that way. conversation is effortless, and silence is not uncomfortable. seeing them brings you a sense of peace you didn’t realize you were missing. conflict is not the end of the world because you know it can be resolved. trust is a given and you don’t have to wonder how they feel about you. it may not always be easy, but you know without a doubt that it’s worth it. it’s truly a beautiful thing.

“If you were born into a family that had expectations for you to play a specific role in order for them to affirm you, your work is deconstructing their ideas of who you were supposed to be and demanding respect for who you are. You do not owe your family a character. Have whatever relationship you want with your family, but live free. Express your truest self. Know that you were born to be known by those who have eyes to see you… As. You. Are.⁣”

— Nate Postlethwait

"But not shaving is so unhygenic!" Girl I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be nasty, but the razor bumps and ingrown hairs near your urethra and anus beg and plead to differ. Your immune system is fighting for its life in ways you can't imagine.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Give up trying to be the good girl. Create a reputation of being the girl whose respected. Allow this desire to guide and be reflected in your actions.

“Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay”

— Unknown

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.

Actually writing<<<<<<sitting on my phone with my computer open in my lap

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.