I'm Literally In An Abusive Relationship With Myself, I Constantly Belittle Myself, And Put Myself In

You know you’re fucked when……..you’ve accepted that your life will end by suicide, and you’re okay with it.

That is where I am right now.

People really think I'm joking when I say my emotions get so intense that I believe the only way out is to kill myself.

questioning bpd culture is being in a downward spiral for weeks and matching almost every bpd symptom, but the MOMENT that I go a whole day without feeling awful I immediately think that I've just been faking it this whole time and clearly must be actually fine

.

omg maybe life is worth living [i had a decent day] —> i cannot be saved [the slightest inconvenience occurs] —> i am a fucking god and everyone loves me [someone laughed at my joke] —> i am going to kill myself [i feel a little bit unwanted because of someone’s reaction]

and this shit just goes on and on and NEVER stops

Having bpd is literally the worst thing ever. A mood swing can hit you literally anytime any second of the day. You’re literally at the mercy of this fucking illness. Does it care that two seconds ago you were having an amazing time with your friends? No. Does it care that no will understand why you’re frowning and sitting in a corner when you were literally laughing two seconds ago? No. It doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. Not one thing. It just consumes you. And makes you hate yourself for being like this because there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing.

Feel better by Penelope Scott is the ultimate relapse song

I saw it coming but at the same time I didn't because I didn't believe the world could possibly be that fucking cruel.