The Seven’s Sense Of Humor? (Headcanons)

Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface

Tim: …

Bruce being poly and bisexual would fix me

click here to see batmans private only fans nudes leaked!!!!! (100% real not a virus!!!!!!)

Tim: If I had a nickel for every time I’ve fallen in love with my best friend-

Tim: Well I’d have a lot of nickles-

Did u kno u can turn Batman’s kids into the Microsoft Windows logo

Two bros being disappointed at the college frat party and ditch it —

DC didn't give us more Tim and Damian's moments bc they know they would be unstoppable together

Broke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian to stop them from fighting each other.

Woke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian because they both encourage the others' absurd logic to justify feral behavior.

...

Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)

Damian: "Statistics don't lie"

Tim: "Statistics don't lie"

...

Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."

Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."

Damian: "EXACTLY!"

Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."

Damian: "That's what I said!"

...

Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."

Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"

Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "

Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."

Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"

...

Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"

Bruce: "This is not better. Stop trying to pretend this is better."

random ninjago incorrect quotes because i got bored, have fun reading them

nya: preheat the apartment for me before i get home

kai: what’re you, banana bread?

nya: choose your next words VERY carefully.

jay: if yo leg get cut off, would it hurt?

kai: DUH

jay: how though?

cole: cus your leg got cut off!

jay: how’re you gonna feel the pain?

kai: in your leg… *trailing off*

jay: EXACTLY bruh. how’re you gonna feel the pain—

all three idiots: —IF YOUR LEG IS GONE?!

zane, at the side:

lloyd: wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???

jay: what the hell do YOU do?

lloyd: i die? lmao what kinda question…

random person: i need boy advice help!

nya: kill him

lloyd: so apparently the “bad vibes” i’ve been feeling are actually “severe psychological distress”

garmadon: LISTEN I ONLY DO UNETHICAL MAGIC IF IT’S FUNNY

lloyd: hey brad, wanna see something funny?

brad: uh, okay.

lloyd: shout.

brad: *shouts*

*nothing happens*

lloyd: *looks at brad with That Damn Smirk* *screams like a girl*

the rest of the ninja: *scrambling and stumbling over each other running to lloyd* LLOYD WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU INJURED DID GARMADON COME BACK

brad:

garmadon: stop accusing me of hedonism and moral decadence i am not even having a good time

lloyd: i can fix her *drilling, screaming and chainsaw sounds*

cole: *to zane* we need to distract those guys.

zane: *to cole* leave it to me.

zane: *to the villain lackeys* centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

villain lackeys: *immediately begin arguing*

lloyd: you guys are the best team i could ask for, i’d do anything for all of you!

zane: i would like you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

lloyd: absolutely not!

mailman: *hits the bong and immediately brcomes aware of the narrative*

mailman: *hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly*

nya: i want to buy some new engine parts, but it costs like a thousand dollars!

lloyd: where’re you gonna get that money?

cole: you could just sell jay

kai: where’s she gonna get the other $999?

paswg kainess redraw! it’s kaiser as panty and ness as briefs