Why Are People So Weird About Vhagar Whys She Always Talked About Like Aemond Is Evilly Forcing Her To

Tbb s2 spoilers

Crosshair if Rampart interrupts his breakfast one more time:

HOT TAKE:  Aayla Secura was being prepared to be a future Council member.  In the scenes that aren’t direct Council chambers meetings, she’s frequently there with the other Jedi Masters to strategize, with a consistency that no other Jedi are (Luminara, for example, doesn’t get the same amount of appearances). Almost every scene is one where they could have easily added in another Jedi Council member, they could have added Shaak in for her in almost every scene, they could have added Saesee, they had models for both of those characters.  And it’s not that she’s giving a mission report that’s unique to her, she’s just there, as a presence, consistently, as part of even the most sensitive missions. SO, I AM FULLY CONVINCED AAYLA SECURA WAS BEING PREPARED AS A FUTURE JEDI COUNCIL MEMBER AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE ABSOLUTELY DESERVES IT, AAYLA IS KIND AND COMPASSIONATE AND GETS SHIT DONE AND TEACHES AHSOKA AND PUTS HER LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THE CLONES AND CARES DEEPLY ABOUT PEOPLE. /THIS IS AN AAYLA SECURA STAN ACCOUNT JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING

honestly Anakin and Padmé’s secret marriage has so much comedy potential and TCW did not take advantage of that at all

I’m talking ridiculous sitcom hijinks

Anakin diving out of Padmé’s high rise Coruscanti apartment in his knickers to avoid getting caught

Padmé sneaking into the Temple to hang out with her husband, gets caught by some random Jedi, claims she’s there to meet... uh... Master Yoda??? Gets roped into having tea with him for the next 4 hours

They get sent on some diplomatic mission together... (with Ahsoka maybe?). it all goes tits up as per usual... they *have* to kiss to avoid getting caught. they get super into it. Ahsoka coughs loudly like “the bad guys have been gone for five minutes”

Someone asks Anakin why he’s visiting Padmé’s apartment. he claims he’s there to fix her washing machine. Ends up doing odd jobs for every single resident of 500 Republica to keep his cover

Imagine a world where Obi-Wan survives episode IV and has to deal with another generation of disaster romances with the Skywalker family.

Leia: *falls head over heels with a dashingly handsome and very mouthy rogue who has more red flags than green*

Obi-Wan: “Oh no.”

Luke: *flirts with a stubborn yet extremely caring world leader despite the Jedi’s no-attachment rule*

Obi-Wan: “Not again.”

Season 3 episode 1: Phee beats the crap out of Cid for 30 minutes

Tech: This is Phee, she’s a pirate

Phee: Liberator of Historical Artifacts to you Brown Eyes ;)

Crosshair: ….

Crosshair: There’s no fucking way

I am now incredibly angry this didn’t happen

imagine a Clone Wars episode/arc where a criminal is hired to dig up dirt (real or imagined) on the Jedi so they’re expelled or fall out of favor with the Chancellor or something

but like the investigator/criminal gets inVeStEd

“what do you MEAN Windu has never taken a day?? in his Jedi career?? someone teach this man SELF CARE”

“what do you MEAN General Kenobi would have left the order for Satine Kryze??? and they haven’t seen each other in over seven months?? do I NEED to wreak havoc on Mandalore so you can get thee to her, ginger-in-chief?”

“what do you MEAN Yoda’s apprentice fell to the dark side? what absolute madman does that to a liddle green bloke?”

“I have a bad feeling about exposing any of General Skywalker’s private life… as in… imperially bad feeling… I think he needs some blankets and maybe calming herbal teas”

“boss I’m sorry Commander Tano has done nothing wrong in her life ever”

You know what? I want Valkyrie shenanigans. Give me Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn debating if - no, not it - how long it would take to suffocate a man with their legs. Straight up, manslaughter by the power of thighs, and spite alone. 

Nesta is out of the running because Cassian distracts her too much. Emerie obviously would rather do something else with someone else. Gwyn is too competitive to let this go and she is a woman of science - she needs to know. 

Cassian snorts and tells her “good luck” - not quite picking up the chaotic determination she has. Enter Azriel, who agrees to be her sparing partner, and when she asks if she can try a new move, for curiosity sake, he allows it. He does not know what he is signing up for and his shadow didn’t snitch on their favorite girl. 

She’s pulling some Natasha Romanoff shit. 

Em and Nes find them in a very suggestive position but Gwyn is gleeful to have Azriel’s head locked between her legs, and she’s so close to literally sitting on is face, and she’s squealing. “ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS! THIRTY-SEVEN! THIRTY-EIGHT…” 

He’s NOT tapping out - he’s not going to admit defeat - but he’s turning blue and he’s slapping her knee as he’s biting back whatever he wants to say. 

Cassian is standing behind them, shell shocked. Of ways to go, Azriel, is this really it, you kinky son-of-a-bitch?! Gwyn is so delighted to have this man on the brink of death - and Azriel is too stubborn to admit it. 

He’s literally flapping around like a fish out of water. He’s struggling and she’s not letting up. At this point, Emerie and Nes are blockading Cassian who’s pretty sure Azriel is too dumb to admit he’s out breath. The Valkyries want to see this through. 

Gwyn’s weakness? Tickling - and she’s screaming as he found her weak spot. She tumbling off him, crying in laughter, and he gasping for air, blue in the face. He’s glaring at the audience and basically same energy as this. 

Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”

Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”

Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”

Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”

Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”

Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”

Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”

I think Anakin and Padme deserve to Stay Besties in any AU that isn't Anidala specifically because their love languages are absolutely buckwild and insane to almost anyone else, but match up to each other pretty perfectly, which means that if they aren't dating each other, they are the exact right person to have egging the other on and enabling whatever unhinged bullshit they're planning on doing in the name of romance.

Anakin thinks he needs to serenade his partner? Padme hires him an orchestra.

Padme wants to meet daringly under the cover of night with her new secret lover because that's the only right way to do it? Anakin is staging a kidnapping for her, zero questions.

Anakin is swooning over how his love interest was kissing him! but it was actually lips-to-leg attempts to suck out the venom of a bad bite (something you're not even actually supposed to do, but hey, the Force slowed his heart down enough that maybe it helped! and he survived anyway, it's fine)? Padme is over the moon for him, that's so romantic!

Their brain cells are so, so allergic to each other. Put them in a room and all common sense flees in the face of "okay, but if I challenge her to a sword fight--" "Padme you can't challenge a Sith to a sword fight." "No no, but if I challenge her and then you swoop in for me as my substitute, and I promise a kiss to the winner and you throw the match--" "Okay I don't want to lose to Ventress but oh my god, I love it."

Move aside, Idiots to Lovers, there's a new ballgame in town!

Friends to Lovers to Idiots