Familiar Froot Done Well 🤩💕

Headcanon: Percy and Annabeth, as a result of being a loving, functional, equitable couple, have caused no less then 8 break ups among their acquaintances.

Annabeth's friend in New Rome watching Percy run two blocks to the drug store to get her Advil for her ankle, because she left it at home that day by mistake:

Friend: Gods, how did you train him that good?

Annabeth, barely paying attention to what she said: huh? Oh I didn't train him much, really. I taught him Ancient Greek, some myths and stuff. I mean, I guess I kind of trained him in battle strategy? But that was more of a "learning on your feet" kind of thing.

Friend: No I mean train him to do whatever you ask, or do things without even asking.

Annabeth: What?

Friend: Like if my back was hurting, I don't think my boyfriend would run two blocks to Walgreens for me.

Annabeth: That's fucked up.

Friend: You ... didn't teach him to do that?

Annabeth: To be nice to me? No, I didn't.

Friend: Ugh, you're so lucky.

Annabeth: I ... think I'm going to kill your boyfriend, actually.

~

Percy forgets to print his paper and somehow manages to leave his computer at home. Annabeth is still home when he calls, and she logs into his computer, prints it for him, and brings it to him before the deadline with his favorite smoothie (she had time to spare, and her best friend was stressed).

Percy: You're amazing, babe. Thank you so much.

Annabeth: Of course. See you later. Love you!

Percy: Love you too!

Some guy in his class: You're so lucky. My girlfriend would never.

Percy: Oh, why not?

Some guy: I don't know. She just doesn't do things like that for me. And the smoothie? Fuck, you're lucky.

Percy: I mean, I know I'm lucky, but ... I don't know, it didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't do me a favor.

Some guy: And she doesn't, like, call you stupid for forgetting?

Percy: No. I mean, she might call me seaweed brain, but that's different.

Some guy: She didn't call you seaweed brain just now.

Percy: You're right she didn't ... hold on [calls Annabeth]. Hey are you mad at me? Well, it's just that I did something silly and you didn't call me 'seaweed brain.' Well, sure anyone could do it, but I did it. No, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Yeah, I like it. Thanks, I love you. [hangs up]. You should break up with your girlfriend by the way.

This is especially hilarious if you consider annabeths old actress’s Miley Cyrus ass stare

Like who is she trying to possess omgod stop

Pjo headcanon:

Percy “does not and will not make eye contact while talking and is struggling to pay attention” Jackson

vs

Annabeth “making direct eye contact 24/7 even if no one’s talking and is constantly taking in information” Chase

G(a)linda 🫧

This was my Luke if anybody cares

Bonus points if you recognise him too 🤭

I literally though he and the movie actor were the same person and like Annabeth I get it - if he looked like that you couldn’t convince me of nish

Jason gets Peter a motorbike for his birthday

And Peter’s so ecstatic that he momentarily forgets about everything else.

“Well I still think my gift’s better.” Dick mutters (sulks).

Tim has the courtesy to hide his snort. Artemis just outright laughs.

Black with red highlights, a shiny metallic web addition that continues over the gas tank and ending just over the fender. The bike is sleek and fucking wicked.

And he says as much, of course.

Jason, smug, tosses the keys. “So try it then.”

Peter catches them on reflex then laughs a little nervously. He puts the key into the ignition, the motor is surprisingly quiet. Discreet. Perfect for quick escape or even a casual night drive.

“I love it.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “course you do. I customised it. Now stop fucking with me and get on.”

But Peter stares at him. And Jason stares back. And now they’re both at a staring stalemate when a realisation dawns on Jason and his jaw drops.

This is the conversation that follows:

Jason: You’re kidding me right?

Peter: I never had the time…

Tim: You’re old as hell dude, what do you mean no time? Wait - how do you even get around?

Peter: [winces] Well public-

Tim: PUBLIC TRANSPORT?

Artemis: In Gotham?? Are you insane? You do realise some of those bus stops are like..not real right?

Jason: I have never seen a bus before. I’ve been driving since I was 8

[ Tim mutters a sly “we can tell” but it gets drowned out by the commotion ]

Peter: I lived in Queens all my life dude never got around to it I’m sorry!!

Cue: spontaneous driving lessons in Art’s car with Backseat Driver Jason, “You’re going too fast” Dick, “He cut you off - run him over” Artemis and “the horn is my stress reliever” Tim

1. Peter, sitting nervously in the drivers seat after putting on his seatbelt

Peter: Are you sure about this Artemis? I don’t want to ruin your car.

Artemis: oh this is Wally’s. You’re fine.

Peter: Doesn’t he drive to work? What if I crash?

Artemis:. . .then he’ll walk. Duh.

2. After explaining the basic semantics

Dick: okay now turn left.

Peter: my left or your left.

Dick:. . .we have the same left?

3. A car behind them begins driving too close to them

Peter: omgod why the hell is that car is so close. What do I do?

Jason: keep driving, that loser can man up and over take us.

Artemis: Break check him.

Tim: that’s illegal-

Artemis: -and then keep reversing. See how he likes kissing my ass.

4. Peter stuck going round a round-a-bout

Peter: WHERE DO I EXIT-

Dick: LEFT LEFT TAKE THE NEXT LEFT-

Peter: WHICH LEFT IM GOING IN CIRCLES-

Jason: YOUR LEFT YOU PSYCHO-

Artemis: We need to pullover TIM’S FAINTED

Artemis: (moments later) no never mind he’s just asleep.

———

Based on scenarios I’ve concocted in my mind palace thinking of my Peter in Gotham fanfic (writing it has been treacherous and I need reprieve)

Toddler Damian who goes entirely silent around Peter and hides behind Bruce or Dick’s leg whenever Peter’s in his spidersuit

So Peter thinks he doesn’t recognise him - despite the fact that Dami asks about Peter between visits and wonders why he isn’t around.

Until Dick sends him this video:

[cameraman Dick trying to stifle his laugh, steps into the batcave and slowly approaches a crouching Damian]

Dick: (leaning in) Whachya doing over there Damian?

Damian: talking to peta

Dick: huh? where-?

[Damian, entirely too nonchalantly, turns around with a huge fucking tarantula in his hand]

Damian: See. Peta.

[tarantula scurries]

Dick: DAMIAJNDOENESAAAAHHHHHHHH

[the phone drops - the video cuts mid scream]

The accompanying text: it’s still on the loose pls help 😭

Peter has no idea Steph and Tim aren’t exclusive

So when he walks past Tim in an alcove at Gotham U cozied up awfully close with someone else he doesn’t initially say anything (but by god he’s judging) and when he makes eye contact with him a few days later sucking face with a different girl at the library cafe, Peter makes his disapproval KNOWN.

Missions at Mt Justice don’t change and he doesn’t ask to switch teams or anything drastic - but there’s next to no banter between them anymore. No silly games or witty jokes - Peter just clocks in and clocks the fuck out now. And no can even say anything because - he responds! And he still works just fine when they’re paired up. He also listens / replies when spoken to - he just isn’t friendly anymore.

In fact - he totally shuts down any conversation Tim joins and gets the coldest look on his face which is BAFFLES EVERYONE???

Because holy shit Peter doesn’t like you?? Do you kick puppies for a living - what the hell???

They’ve never really seen Peter mad before. Annoyed - sure. But this ice out is a new one and honestly kind of scary.

And Tim is ???? So confused. Because he has no idea what Peter’s upset about since he hadn’t actually noticed him that day.

Now - Jason obviously finds this hilarious because hell yeah fuck that guy (he knows they’re open he’s just saying choosing to say NOTHING).

Dick doesn’t know what to make of it because he’s pretty sure they were open? But now he’s doubting it because weren’t they just celebrating their anniversary?? (Zatanna mentioned it in passing but his ass was naaawt listening 😭).

No one’s told Damian why Peter doesn’t like Tim right now but he doesn’t care and finds the sudden switch gratifying (he never liked the guy anyway).

Artemis was concerned about the team’s harmony at first but has since decided to stay out of it since it hasn’t affected their work.

But Wally’s been avoiding him too?? Because someone told him a mutated version of the rumour and he now believes Tim tried to bribe Peter to hide his cheating.

[Wally: it’s all alleged but man, who knew he could be such a douchebag?

Roy: (scoffing) it’s a bitch move, that’s for sure.

Jason, who is now hearing a frankensteined version of his own rumour repeated back to him: oh yeah…it’s just - crazy. Really. But you know I heard….]

Everything comes to a head when the rumour gets back to Steph after she comes back from a covert mission so this is literally the intervention that follows:

Artemis: (holding the bridge of her nose) So. We’re gathered here today because I feel there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.

Tim: there’s no misunderstanding. Spidershit over here’s been spreading FALSE rumours about me-

Peter: I SAW YOU WITH MY OWN EYES YOU PATHOLOGICAL LYING PEICE OF-

TIM: YOU’RE THE MANIPULATIVE LOS-

Steph: shut up! Both of you!

(Silence. Jason coughs)

Artemis: Now does anyone have anything to say before we start? (Sighing) Yes, Pete?

Peter: I get why Steph, Tim and Wally are here. But why’d you call Jason too?

Jason: (Standing up, dusting his pants) he’s right, there’s been a mix up.

Artemis: Sit down Jason - (gestures haphazardly at Wally) just - tell them what you told me. About Tim.

Wally: I…just said that I personally don’t feel comfortable being on the same team as someone who pretended to be an angel of music to manipulate a young girl into loving him with the ultimate intention of keeping her with him forever through fear and…coercion?

Steph: …

Tim: …

Peter: ….dude - what

Artemis: (audibly taking a deep breath) so I don’t know why he just recited the plot of Phantom of the Opera verbatim - but if you think for a second that I’m going to let you walk out in that zeta tube Jason Todd without an explan- SIT DOWN.

Jason: (slumping back in chair, groaning) For the record - I DONT EVEN GO HERE

(The issue was resolved pretty quickly after that)

——-

Jason using his theater knowledge for chaos🤩 another silly behind the scene moment from my fic 🫶

i could never see lunarry as a rarepair like IT’S RIGHY THERE!!!!!! OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!!!

no speak up ive been thinking about them so much again….

Work in progress..

Do they have a skincare routine?

Dick: he’ll tell you yes but it’s literally water 🙄

Peter: he’s more on the reactive side in that he won’t put too much effort in until he starts getting congested skin

Tim: yes but it’s all travel sized for some reason?? He travels a lot so it’s just - pocket sized. And he never sticks to the same product either since it’s just whatever he finds in duty free 😭

Wally: he had a weak wave of acne as a teenager…it’s 10 steps and he’s never missed a DAY

Jason: he respects it, but it ain’t him

[Peter, reading his response: wait this is the third time he’s written this…is this a stamp? Is he STAMPING out answers - Jason wtf??]

Artemis: yes but shes stopped buying her own and lives exclusively off of Wally’s products bc he’s been using her haircare stuff so they’ve reached like an equilibrium

Damian: he’s too young and doesn’t care but will occasionally throw out your products unprovoked if they take up too much counter space 💔 he doesn’t even need to live there either he’ll just do it (he’s been banned from Wally’s bathroom)

Roy: he couldn’t tell you a toner from a serum.. the man’s running on sunscreen and vibes 😭

——

I based this off my Peter x young justice fanfic if anyone’s confused 🙂‍↕️