Latest Posts by valentsoup - Page 2

Ex at Christmas

violet "vi" x female reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: christmas is just around the corner, and you've been invited to spend them with your ex-girlfriend's family. only one problem is that your ex-girlfriend has not told anyone that the relationship is over. (requested by anon) warnings/themes: fluff and angst, found family af, fake dating, ex lovers, christmas, family gatherings, secret santa, everyone is alive and happy au, modern au vi just begging for you to take her back? words: 17.8k.... (i got carried away) notes: it's so long i should've cut it into parts but idk where... so suffer (╥﹏╥)

As always, the last drop is a lively spot. warm, cozy, and familiar. Colorful lights hang from the ceiling, a decorated tree stands in the corner, a 'merry christmas' painted on the wall, even a few strings of garland have been hung from the low ceiling.

People are crowding around the bar. Some are playing pool, some are simply chatting amongst themselves, cigarette smoke curling up toward the ceiling.

Vander's voice snaps you from your thoughts. “Look who finally showed her face around here.” He reaches over the top of the bar to ruffle your hair.

“I know, I know,” you laugh, swatting his hand away. “Things are just... busy, y'know?” 

Vander rests his forearms on the countertop, leaning closer to you. “Just making sure you're still alive. 'Been an awful long while since I last saw you.”

“I've been fine, old man.” 

“Glad to hear you're doing alright kid. Haven't seen you around here in, what, three months? You need to come by more often, keep an old guy company,” he chuckles. “I almost thought you'd vanished.”

“You sound like a grandma with kids that never call.”

Vander grins and winks at you, taking a rag and wiping at the bartop. “You're like a kid to me, so I guess it checks out.”

You scoff but say nothing, leaning against the bartop as your eyes start to travel across the room. A few people mill about that you recognize as regular patrons, but other than that, there's pretty much no one of interest.

Vander snorts and lifts the rag to his shoulder. “We're having our christmas gathering again this year, you should swing by. Just like last christmas, eh?”

A lot has changed for you in the past month, and you've been dreading this coming up. “I... don't know. I don't think so.”

Vander raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you don't know? Not up to seeing the old gang again?”

“Not exactly,” you murmur, the memory of the breakup is still fresh. It's not that you don't want to see your friends, it's just the idea of seeing Vi again.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “It's not that, I just... things have changed, especially recently. I don't want to... accidentally make things awkward or something.”

Vander shakes his head and it almost seems like he's laughing at you. “Why would it be awkward?”

“I don't know…” You sigh, your shoulders slumping in resignation. “Nevermind it, I'm going.”

Your words get a smirk out of Vander, and he reaches over to poke your arm. “That's what I like to hear,” he gives you a wink, folding his arms across his chest. “You better show up or I'll drag you here myself. You know I could.”

“Like I'd let you drag me here, old man—there's no way your back can handle that.”

“Ah, you kids these days have no respect for your elders. You're gonna break my old back and then I'll die,” he pretends to sniffle, making you scoff.

Silco then walks over, looping his arms around Vander's shoulders. The two of them exchange a knowing glance before Silco turns his attention to you. “Look who actually decided to show up.”

Vander laughs as he pats Silco's arm. “Cut the kid some slack. They're just here to have a good time.”

Silco chuckles, his eyes still on you. “So are you coming on Christmas?”

You almost sigh as Silco brings up the party again. You rub at the back of your neck, and just as you're about to answer, Vander beats you to it.

“Yeah, she's coming,” he confirms.

Silco hums, he lifts his arm from off vander, resting it in his hip instead. “Good, I was beginning to think you were going to weasel your way out of it.”

Vander smacks his shoulder. “Lay off, would ya? let the kid breathe.”

Silco relents and waves his hand dismissively. “I'm just saying,” he looks back at you. “We all want you there, you know. It wouldn't be the same without you.”

Hearing them say that makes you feel guilty for even considering not going. You know they mean it. You just hope it won't be too much awkward with Vi there.

Vander nods and smiles. “He's right, you know. Everyone's been asking about you. They'll be happy to have you there.”

“I get it. You don't have to butter me up, old man.”

Vander chuckles, then he glances over his shoulder, gesturing to a small, unassuming box on a nearby table. “Hey, could you grab that little box over there for me?” Silco smirks and nods before moving to get the box, bringing it over and handing it to Vander.

“What's in the box?” you ask.

Vander grins at you, holding the box in his hands. “We're doing a secret santa,” he explains, “and since you’re coming that means you're participating too.”

Your eyebrows raise to your hairline. You'd completely forgotten about the secret santa. You groan in annoyance, running your hands over your face. “I'm still annoyed I got that whoopee cushion from Powder last year.”

“That was a good one. She was so damn proud of herself too, and besides…” Vander pauses, turning to look at you. “You never know, you might get something less annoying this year.” He then holds the box out to you, a smile on his lips.

There's always the possibility you won't get something shitty, but knowing most of your friends... Yeah, that's unlikely.

You look at the box, then up at Vander, sighing. You take the box from him. “I hope you're right, old man.”

Vander chuckles before stepping back to talk to Silco.

You turn the box over in your hands, feeling the weight of it. It's not too heavy, and you almost feel compelled to shake it. But if you do that, you'll probably end up drawing Vander's name, and that's basically cheating.

Sighing, you decide to just bite the bullet. You take the lid off the box, sticking your hand inside. Your fingers rummage around before they eventually close around a folded piece of paper.

You pull out the slip of paper, unfolding it slowly. You glance at the handwriting, then almost roll your eyes.

Of course you got Vi.

Out of all the names you could have drawn, you get the one person you didn't want to get. You could have gotten literally anyone else. Mylo, Claggor, Powder, Silco, or anyone other than Vi. but no, you had to get your ex. Just your luck.

You look at the note again, and the first thought that comes to your mind is...

Well, crap.

You're so focused on the slip of paper in your hands that you don't notice Vander and Silco peeking over your shoulder.

“So, who'd you get?”

Vander's question makes you jump, you quickly stuff the paper into your pocket before they can see who it is.

“No one,” you say, waving your hand to dismiss the question. “It's not important.”

Silco raises an eyebrow. “Then why are you pocketing the paper?”

“It's a secret for a reason.”

Vander and Silco glance at each other, and you can tell they're silently communicating. 

Vander turns back to you a moment later, rubbing his jaw. “A secret, huh? Well, that means whoever you got won't know it's you.”

Silco hums. “That's probably a good thing,” he mumbles.

“That's kind of the point of a secret Santa.”

Vander nods, scratches his beard before his lips turn up in a small smile. “True means you can give them something real nice.”

Silco glances at Vander before looking at you. “Whoever you got is probably going to be very happy when they get their gift.”

You almost snort at Silco's words. Yeah, right. a gift from you? She’ll probably chuck it straight in the trash.

You run a hand through your hair, trying to shake the thoughts of Vi out of your head. You don't know why you're worried about how she'll react. Why care if she'll like the gift? Why care if she's happy with whatever you get her?

The answer is so obvious, but you don't want to admit it even to yourself.

Vander and Silco are still looking at you, and you realize that you have to say something. Any longer and they might figure it out.

You push those thoughts away and force out a small scoff. “If they'll actually like it. I'm not the best with gifts.”

“Oh, I'm sure they will,” Silco says, an almost knowing smirk on his face.

Vander nods. “Just give them something from the heart.”

From the heart, my ass. The only thing you want to give her from the heart is a kick in the ass.

“Because someone's gonna be real happy with something from me.”

Vander and Silco exchange another look again, like they're having an entire conversation without actually saying anything.

You turn away from them, looking out the window. They're probably trying to read your mind, figure out who it is you got. The thought makes your eyes twitch. You don't want them to know. You don't know why, but you really don't want them to know.

“Just do us a favor,” Silco suddenly says, cutting into the silence that had fallen between you. “Try not to stress too hard about it. You'll give yourself gray hairs.”

Vander chuckles at Silco's words, “You'll give us an old heart attack.”

“Ha ha, funny.”

Silco grins at your response. “Well, we're only half-joking.”

Vander's eyes soften. He slaps Silco's shoulder to get him to shut up. “What he means is, you overthink too much,” Vander adds.

You almost huff. Yeah, so what if you overthink? It's a normal thing to do. especially in situations like this, where you're stuck with the one person you don't want to be.

Why keep thinking about her? You need to stop obsessing over her. She made her choice, and it wasn't you.

You run your fingers to your face, trying to think of something else to distract yourself. It's not like you don't know what you want to get Vi. You just don't know if you should get it.

“I don't overthink,” you grumble, shifting your weight on your feet. 

“Oh yes, you do.”

And they're both right about that.. You can't even count how many times you've paced around your apartment, replaying every interaction you had with Vi over and over again in your head. Every word, every touch, and every look. All of it, it's like your brain refuses to let you forget.

You've spent countless nights trying to figure out where you went wrong. What you could have done differently if there was something you could have changed. All of that, just because of one person who tossed you aside without a second thought.

“Listen,” Silco suddenly says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look over at him as he stands up straight, a smirk spreads across his lips. “You're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about something that hasn't even happened yet.”

“He's right,” Vander gives you a look before continuing. “And for the love of God, stop overthinking.”

If only it were that simple. If only you could just switch off your brain and stop thinking about everything.

But you know damn well you can't do that. Your thoughts are as uncontrollable as the weather, and right now, they're a mess.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your thoughts.

“I should probably go,” you mutter, and the two men nod. Vander pats you on the back as you start for the door.

“Same place, eh?’ he calls after you.

“Don't think too hard, kid,” Silco adds.

You give them both a small nod as you exit the bar, shutting the door behind you.

Christmas is going to be one hell of a mess this year, you can feel it.

Now all you have to do is figure out how the hell you're going to deal with it.

—

You're standing outside of Vander and Silco’s house, the weight of the present in your hands suddenly feeling a thousand times heavier.

You've replayed this moment in your head countless times, but now that it's happening for real, you're not sure if you're ready.

Christmas music drifts out of the house, it's a familiar tune that you've heard a million times.

You push down the anxiety gnawing at your stomach. You shouldn't be feeling so nervous, it's just a gift. Just a present for a secret santa.

But this isn't just anyone, this is Vi. The one person who you didn't want to get. The one person who broke things off without a second thought.

Stop thinking about this. It's just one night. one stupid night, and then it will be over. You can get through this, you can handle being around Vi for one Christmas. No more thinking about her. No more wondering where you went wrong or if you could have done something to change things. Just get through the night and forget about her.

You take another deep breath, straighten up, and square your shoulders. Then, in one moment, you push open the doors to their house and walk inside.

Your eyes search the room, looking for that familiar pink hair. But you don't see her. Your shoulders relax a little. Maybe she's not here yet. That'll give you a few minutes to brace yourself. No one is around right now, probably in their rooms or preparing for the dinner. 

You were so distracted by looking around that you didn't realize someone was standing right behind you until they grabbed you and spun you around. Your eyes meet their powder blue ones, and your mouth suddenly goes dry.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Woah, hey-” you stumble over your words.

“Don't 'woah hey' me,” she snaps, her grip tightening on your arm.

Vander's deep voice cut in before you could even speak. “You've actually came.”

You feel her look away from you, her hand finally falling from your arm. As soon as it does, you rub the skin where she grabbed you.

Vander looks between the two of you and says, “Hand me the gift, kid. I'll put it there.” He gestures towards a christmas tree where the gifts are already sitting underneath.

You quickly hold the present out for him to take.

He takes it before giving both of you another look. “Go easy with your girlfriend, eh?”

You freeze, your heart stopping as his words register. Your eyes widen as you slowly turn your head to look at Vi.

Girlfriend?

“I will.” Before you can even process what's happening, you're being pulled outside.

You yank your arm back from Vi, quickly putting some distance between the two of you. “What's your problem?”

She spins around and scoffs, looking you up and down. “I should be asking you that. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Vander invited me. He asked me to come.”

“Then you should've said no.”

“Wow? just wow.” You take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “I know that things didn't go well between us, but you don't get to push me out of this family. They're my family too, and Vander invited me here to celebrate. I have as much right to be here as you do.”

You refuse to break eye contact with her. “You can ignore me all you want, but you don't get to decide how I'm allowed to spend my Christmas. If you want to keep acting like this, fine. Ignore me, pretend I don't exist, just like you've been doing for the past months.”

Vi lets out a laugh, rubbing a hand on her forehead. “They do not know.”

You blink at her. “What do you mean?”

She looks over at the entrance and says, “They all think we're still together.”

Your eyes widen. “What?” you almost shout. “Why the hell would they think that?”

“Because I didn't tell them,” she scoffs. “Every time I talk to them, they ask me how you are. Silco and Vander keep making comments about how we make a cute couple. They still think we're together.”

“Why the hell didn't you tell them?” you glare at her. “Were you ever going to?”

“I don't know,” she retorts, throwing her arms up. “They're all so happy about us being together.”

“That's such bullshit,” you snap at her. “That's such a crappy excuse! You should be the one to tell them we broke up.”

She looks away, planting her arm on her hips. “Don't you think I know that?” she shoots back. “It's not that simple. I can't just rip off the bandage like that.”

“Is that it? You’re scared that they'll know?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know how Silco and Vander can get.”

“I know how they get,” you snap back at her. “You’re just too much of a pussycat to face them and tell them the truth.”

Her expression hardens, and her jaw clenches. “Look who's talking. You can't even say no to a little family gathering, but here you are.”

“Don't even start. I didn't come here because I wanted to see you. I came for the family, not for you.”

“As if I wanted to see you either. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with you all night.”

You look her right in the eye. “Fine, you know what? I'll go tell them right now that we broke up. They deserve to know.”

She grabs your wrist before you can take a step towards the door. “Wait”

You look down at her hand, then back up at her. “What?”

“Don't,” she says through gritted teeth. “Just... don't tell them yet.”

You scoff, ripping your arm away from her grip. “Why the hell not? So they can keep thinking we're still together?”

“Just don't tell them tonight. Can you just give me until after Christmas?”

“Why are you still dragging this out? What difference does it make if we wait till then or do it now?”

“Because it's fucking christmas!” she snaps before dropping her gaze. “Look, it's the holidays. I just... I don't want to ruin Christmas. They've all been looking forward to all of us celebrating together. I don't want to ruin it by spoiling the fun.”

“Wait—let me get this straight. You want to fake it this christmas? Pretend we're still a happy couple?”

She's quiet again. “Yeah,” she whispers, looking down. “Yeah, that's what I'm asking.”

“You’re unbelievable, Vi.” You take a deep breath, trying to keep yourself together. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You're asking me to pretend like we're still together, to pretend that nothing has changed.”

“It's just one day,” she mumbles. “One day, that's all I'm asking for. We can tell them anytime after that, just not tonight, please.”

She even says please. Something about the way she says it makes your heart ache.

She looks desperate, like this really means something to her. Who are you kidding? Of course, this means something to her. 

They're her family, they're important to her. And on Christmas, all they want is for everything to be perfect. perfect food, perfect presents, and perfect couples.

You hate the way she's looking at you with those soft, pleading eyes. She always looks at you like that when she wants something, and you always give in. She does it subconsciously, knowing how to get exactly what she wants. And damn it, it works.

“Fine,” you mutter through clenched teeth. “You've got your damned wish.”

And there it is. There's the look you've been waiting for. That look of relief that comes to her eyes.

You hate that look. You hate how your heart flutters when she looks like that. You hate it so much.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, you've got me for tonight. I'll pretend like we're still together. Happy now?”

There's a flicker of a smile on her face, something quick that's gone before you can even register. “Yeah, thank you.”

She looks away again. Silence falls between the two of you as you shift awkwardly.

This is gonna be a long night.

You let out a sigh, watching as she keeps her focus on the floor. This is so damn awkward.

And it's your own fault for agreeing to this nonsense. There's no way this night doesn't end up being a goddamn catastrophe.

You would give anything to just disappear right now.

Powder's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Peeking her head out of the doorway, looking at the two of you. “Hey, you two. It’s cold out there, get your asses in here.”

You look at Vi, waiting for a sign of acknowledgment.

She slowly glances up, her gaze meeting yours. “Come on,” she murmurs, holding out her hand.

Taking a deep breath, you take her hand in yours.

You've held her hand so many times before—more times than you can count. Holding her hand used to be nothing, but now it feels so odd. Almost awkward.

But she doesn't seem to notice how out of place it feels. She slowly leads you towards the door, squeezing your hand as she pulls you along.

“How are my favorite love birds doing?” Mylo's voice greets you as you both enter.

He slings a casual arm over your shoulders, leaning on your shoulder to get a better look at you. “It's about time you two showed up. I thought for sure you were just gonna keep making out in a corner somewhere.”

It takes everything you have not to elbow him in the stomach. Instead, you keep a neutral expression and chuckle awkwardly, “Yeah, you know us. Can't keep our hands off of each other.”

“You two are sickeningly in love, it's really cute, actually.”

Your eye twitches, and you bite the inside of your cheek.

“Yeah, we're very in love,” Vi says, and you can tell she's trying not to roll her eyes.

Mylo claps you on the shoulder before releasing you. “Well then, I'm going to go find myself some eggnog,” he leaves towards the kitchen, whistling to himself as he goes.

You turn to look at Vi, and you almost feel a twinge of hatred towards the way she so casually holds your hand, like nothing is wrong.

“Are you okay?”

Her voice brings you back to reality, and suddenly you're all too aware of how hard you're clenching your jaw and the fact that you're basically just glowering at the floor with a storm cloud over your head.

You raise your eyes to meet with hers, and you have to force yourself to release some of the tension. “Yeah, fine,” you mutter. “just cold”

It's a lie, obviously. It's not cold at all. Vander always keeps the place nice and warm.

Not even she's dumb enough to fall for that. She glances around, clearly noticing how you're not really hiding your feelings well.

She runs her thumb over the back of your hand. It's an innocent gesture, one that you've seen dozens of times before. It's not meant to be anything special, it never was. And yet, it still makes your heart skip a beat. 

You have absolutely no idea how you're going to get through this night with both your sanity and your heart still intact.

“Okay,” she finally says, “can you stop clenching your jaw so hard? you look like you're trying to grind your teeth down to the bone. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but please don't go around looking like you want to kill everyone in this room.”

Her fingers squeeze your hand, and you realize just how tightly you're holding her hand in yours. Your knuckles are white, and your fingers are probably digging into her skin.

Gritting your teeth, you loosen your grip. 

“There, that's better.” She lets out a quiet breath. “Please try and just relax for a bit. This is going to be hellish already, so I at least need you to not look like you hate me every second we're in here.”

You let out a frustrated huff, looking away from her. “Please don't act like you care.”

“I'm not acting like I care,” she says, a tone just loud enough for only you to hear. “I do care, and that's the problem.”

Of course she has to say something like that right now. Of course she has to hit where it hurts the most.

Care? care about what? about you? about what she put you through, how she broke your heart?

You open your mouth, but your response dies in your throat. You have no idea how to respond to that.

A loud shout interrupts your thoughts, and you both turn around. “Oi! Time for dinner!” Powder yells from the doorway into the kitchen.

Vi mutters under her breath, “finally.”

Powder grins as she waves you both over. “Hurry up or Vander will eat everything and complain about his bad back afterwards.”

“We're coming,” Vi calls back.

The two of you head towards the kitchen. There's a long table in the middle of the room, covered in a red and green tablecloth. Everyone is already crowded around the table, taking their seats as you two enter the room. Vander is at the head of one of the tables, Silco seated beside him. Mylo and Claggor are chatting amongst themselves as Powder takes her seat beside Claggor.

Vi looks at the seating arrangement and sighs, realizing what's about to happen. She pulls you over to the table and sits down, pulling you down into the seat right next to her.

After a few moments, everyone quiets down and turns their attention to Silco.

Silco places his hands together. “It's good to see everyone together like this today. I am thankful that we are all here, safe and healthy.” He glances around the room in a quick survey, seeming to count everyone's attendance. “And what better time to be together than the holidays?”

Powder lets out a huff. “Can we just eat? I'm starving.” 

Silco raises his hand for Powder to stay quiet. “Patience, Pow. First, let's do something a bit… different.”

Mylo and Claggor glance at each other in confusion. “Different?” Mylo repeats.

“Indeed,” Silco replies. “Instead of just diving into our meal, I thought it would be nice if we all took a moment to share a few words about what we are thankful for this year.”

“We're really gonna do this?”

Claggor nudges him. “Be polite, Mylo.”

“He's right, though,” Powder chimes in.

Silco raises an eyebrow at them both. “Is it really such a hassle to express gratitude at the end of the year?”

Mylo and Powder grumble something under their breaths.

Claggor is the first one to respond. “I think it's a fine idea.”

“Thank you, Claggor,” Silco replies, “I'm glad we have at least one cooperative person here.”

After a moment of silence, Vander speaks. “Alright, then I'll go first... I am grateful for my family,” he says as he looks around the room, taking in the faces before him. “I am thankful for my health, for my business, and most of all, that everyone is still here with me and safe.”

“That's so soft,” Powder mutters, but everyone ignores her.

Vander turns his head and looks directly at Silco, as if he's saying something that's meant to be for Silco's ears only, though everyone can clearly hear. “I'm also thankful for you, Sil,” he adds, the corner of his mouth twitching in a knowing smile.

You're not sure if you're the only one who noticed, but that comment definitely seemed personal and almost a little out of place.

He collects himself quickly and nods at Vander, seemingly not quite sure of what to say. “Thank you, Vander.” 

Silco clears his throat and composes himself, turning his gaze to Powder. “How about you, Pow? Any words of gratitude?”

Powder groans, slouching back in her seat like a child who's been forced to eat her vegetables. “I swear, if you make me say something corny-”

Mylo leans over the table to look at her sister. “Say something nice for once, or you're not getting dessert.”

“Ugh, fine. I am thankful for…” she looks around the room. “I'm thankful everyone's here and we're all... whatever, happy and healthy or something like that,” she mumbles.

“I'll take whatever I can get,” Silco mutters before turning his attention to Claggor. “What about you, Claggor?”

Claggor seems to be taking a moment to think, like he's actually putting effort into what he will say. “I'm grateful for…” his eyes are almost unfocused as he thinks. After a moment, he glances up to look at Vander. “I'm grateful for the family I have here.”

Vander gives him a warm look in response.

Everyone's gaze turns to Mylo, expecting him to go next.

He fidgets anxiously, shifting in his seat as he glances around the room. “What am I supposed to say?...er, fine... My whole life's a mess, but...at least all you idiots are here to make my life more miserable.”

“We love you too, Mylo” Powder teases. “Real touching. I think I might cry.”

Mylo throws a glare in her direction. “Shut up.”

Silco glances at Vi, his gaze lingering as he waits for Vi to speak.

“I'm thankful for…” her voice is a bit quieter than usual, more hesitant. She glances at you before continuing. “I'm... thankful for the people I have in my life.”

Everyone's gaze settles on you next, waiting for you to say something. “Well, I... I guess I'm thankful to be able to still participate in this family gathering, even if I haven't seen everyone in a while.” You take a look at Vi before moving on. “Hopefully I can still be here and spend Christmas with all of you next year too.”

She holds your gaze for a moment, almost as if she's processing what you just said… and then, unexpectedly, a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

It's a subtle change, barely noticeable, but you see it. and just seeing her smile, even a small one like that, has butterflies filling your stomach. It's been so long since you've seen her smile like that. A part of you misses it, a part of you yearns to see it more often.

She quickly looks away, and you notice that her cheeks have turned a light shade of pink.

“There, we all said our little cheesy bullshit,” Powder says, clearly getting impatient.

Silco turns to Powder, his expression disapproving. “Language, Pow,” he reminds. 

Vander sighs. “Yes, Powder, mind your language” he adds, earning a mock-offended look from Powder.

“Like you don't swear all the time.”

“I do not swear all the time, Pow,” he protests, although you know it's a lie. Even the most proper and upstanding people swear, and Vander is definitely not that.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Vander huffs but chooses not to add anything. Silco lets out a dry cough to redirect everyone's attention. “Right, now that that's over, let's go ahead and eat, shall we?” Silco says, as if the whole moment of gratitude never happened..

“Finally,” Mylo grumbles, “I was starting to wonder if you forgot about why we all gathered here.”

Silco gives him a look. “Patience is a virtue, Mylo.”

“We've all been patient for the last hour, so spare me.”

Claggor lets out a little sigh, but thankfully Mylo and Powder seem to settle into silence for the time being.

Silco nods in approval. “Then, shall we begin?”

Vander gets up from his seat, moving to go grab the food.

Powder and Mylo look at Vander expectantly, and they both look like they're about to get out of their seats. Silco gives them a warning look, silencing them before they can get a word out. “Wait until everything is ready.”

They both grumble, but they obediently sit back down. They're impatient, sure, but they at least know better than to piss off Silco.

Vander returns a moment later, setting a platter filled with food on the table. It looks delicious, and the smell is mouthwatering. Your stomach growls a little, reminding you of how hungry you are.

Powder and Mylo are practically drooling, and you honestly wouldn't be surprised if they lunged for the food the moment Silco gave the word.

Thankfully, he doesn't give them any chance. He simply says, “Please, help yourselves,” and Silco has to gesture for them to wait.

They almost get up and move to the table, and they're clearly resisting the temptation to shove each other to try and get to the food faster.

Mylo lets out a curse, and Jinx giggles in response. Vi stands up and grabs both of them, grabbing onto their shoulders and holding them back from each other.

“Enough, you two,” she scolds, “there's plenty of food for everyone. Chill out.”

They look at her with expressions that clearly are saying, 'no, we're hungry'. Powder lets out a huff, and Mylo looks like he's one more remark away from shoving her sister.

Vi's expression sharpens, her eyes boring into Mylo and Powder. “No, quit the bullshit, you can wait a few minutes, and if you two can't act like adults about it, neither of you are getting any.”

Mylo immediately shuts up at that, his expression turning slightly more guilty. Powder just looks like she's about to protest, a pout forming on her face. Vi glares at Powder to shush her as well.

“Just quit it,” she says. “You can wait, the food will taste better if you don't shove it all down your throats like dogs.”

“Fine, we'll wait,” she grumbles.

Mylo just nods with a pout, staying quiet.

Vi seems to notice their looks, and she rolls her eyes, staying put just in case. She seems wary as she watches Powder and Mylo, her eyes switching from them to the food on the table.

And sure enough, the moment Silco gestures for everyone to get their food, Powder and Mylo are gone, rushing to claim their plates.

Claggor lets out a sigh as Powder and Mylo shove each other for their own plates. No one says anything though, they're all just used to it. This is just how Powder and Mylo are, and they've come to accept it. Vi doesn't even seem as bothered as everyone else does. 

Mylo seems like he's really close to just pushing Powder to the side and snatching up the slice he wants, and Powder doesn't look any better. Honestly, if Vi didn't step in, there was a chance they'd start throwing punches.

And judging from how the others' looks, especially Silco, they look like they're expecting this. 

It's like this is all completely normal, they know to expect this kind of behavior when food, and more importantly, free food, is involved.

Powder and Mylo finally settle down after their little fight, and they finally begin digging into the food.

Mylo is practically shoving it into his face, eating it like he's been starved for weeks. Powder isn't any better, although at least she's not making a complete mess.

Claggor is significantly slower when it comes to eating, choosing to take his time as he slowly eats as opposed to just shoving the food into his mouth.

Vander eats at a decent pace, and he doesn't seem as starving like Mylo is.

The last one to begin eating is Silco, and surprisingly enough, there's a smile on his face. He takes one look at how Mylo and Powder are chowing down on their food, then he turns his gaze and looks at you, as if silently asking if you're going to eat.

You take the hint, and you decide to dig into your own food. The food is delicious, and you can't blame Mylo and Powder for basically trying to swallow their food whole.

Vi also begins eating now that everyone's settled down.

Vander lets out a laugh, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. “Slow down a little, you two, the food isn't going anywhere.”

Mylo and Powder both raise their heads at that, and they both look like they're considering it for a moment... but they immediately go back to shoving food down their throats.

Claggor shakes his head as he watches them eat. “You'd think they'd never seen a Christmas dinner before.”

“You know them, they would scarf down all the food in town if they could.”

Powder glances up at that, a small pout forming on her lips. “Hey, it's not our fault we're just starving.”

Mylo nods in agreement, his mouth too full to say anything.

“You both just had eaten before this,” Claggor counters.

Mylo swallows whatever food is in his mouth long enough to argue with Claggor. “And that was hours ago.”

“Yeah,” Powder agrees, “it was practically an eternity since we ate.”

“Two hours is not an eternity,” Claggor retorts. 

“It might as well be,” Powder counters.

Despite the bickering and arguing the dinner feels oddly... domestic, almost.

Claggor looks like the responsible and mature oldest sibling who's done with his siblings nonsense, Vander almost acts like a tired parent, Silco acts more like a stern aunt, and Powder and Mylo act like rowdy kids who are constantly at each other's throats.

Vi sits next to you. She's making sarcastic comments with Silco, laughing at Powder’s jokes, and making small talk with Claggor. She even gives Mylo an unimpressed glare when he tries to snatch all the bread for himself.

It's almost like you're both back to normal. The way she's acting makes your heart ache. She's giving you all the attention a partner would give.

She gives you fond smiles whenever you make a comment, she casually slides an arm around your shoulders, she even scoots her chair a little closer to yours.

Her eyes are soft, her voice is soft, whenever you look at her, she looks back with this almost affectionate look.

It's so normal, that it almost takes you back to your relationship and how you two were before the breakup.

She's even doing little things, like leaning closer to you, letting a hand rest on your thigh, even discreetly grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers with hers under the table.

You want to hold her tight and never let her go, but your brain keeps reminding you. You two aren't together anymore.

But when you look at her, when she looks at you with that look in her eyes, everything goes quiet. 

Maybe it could work this time.

Maybe you two could just bury the hatchet and move on.

Maybe things could work between you two if you try it out again.

Then you remember the fights, the nights you spent on your bed, crying while Vi was out with friends. You remember how she treated you after the breakup—how she tossed you aside like discarded trash.

You try to ignore it, push it to the back of your head. But it's so hard when Vi sits next to you, close enough for you to catch the scent of her perfume. She smells like cigarettes and leather, something that's so her.

You're so focused on trying to stop yourself from touching her or even getting closer that you're almost surprised when she suddenly leans her head against your shoulder.

She doesn't say anything, just leans against you.

She's so close. She's pressed against your side, her shoulder against your shoulder, her head against yours, her hand on your thigh.

You notice her scent again, now stronger.

Her hair brushes against your neck, the way you can feel the warmth of her body, and the way her thumb draws little circles into your thigh.

She's so close, and yet you want her even closer.

You want to run your hands through her hair, you want to nuzzle your face into her shoulder, you want to feel her hands roaming your body.

You just want her.

Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Powder, her question pulling you out of your head. “It's been a while since we've seen you two together,” she says, her mouth still full of food.

Claggor shoots Powder a look. “Powder-”

“Shush, I'm just wondering,” she argues, shrugging casually, “has she been avoiding you?”

“No,” you say before anyone can say anything. “We just... haven't had time to schedule any dates, that's all.”

“For months? Haven't had time to schedule a single date for months?”

“Life gets busy, y’know,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant.

Mylo scoffs at that. “You two are dating, the least you could do is at least manage one date a month.”

Claggor smacks him over the head. Mylo grumbles and rubs the back of his head, shooting his brother a glare. “What? it's true,” he mutters. “We just kind of... we all miss you.”

Vander gives Mylo a disapproving glare. “What Mylo means is, your presence has been sorely missed around here.”

“We all just... we just want you around more,” Powder puts in her two cents, speaking around a mouthful of food again.

You cast a sidelong glance at Vi. You and her are putting up a pretty good facade so far, but Mylo's question seemed to have put her on the spot a little. She catches your glance, and you give her a look that says, just play along. Vi sighs, her hand squeezing your thigh.

“Look, I-” she glances around the table, meeting everyone's eyes before sighing and putting on the most believable expression. “I know we haven't been as... present as we should have been for the past few months. Work just got really hectic.”

“That's true,” you back her up with a nod. “I had to travel away for a business trip a few weeks ago, so it's been pretty hard to find time to spend together.”

Vander, Silco, and Powder all nod in understanding. They're aware of the fact that you have a job in a big city, so it's not an unbelievable explanation.

Mylo, however, snorts and crosses his arms. “You don't have to feed us some lame excuse for not hanging out with us.”

Claggor gives Mylo another smack. “Would you shut up already?”

“Ow!” Mylo grumbles as he rubs his head again, shooting Claggor a dirty look.

Vander sighs. “Regardless, it's good to have you here for Christmas this time.”

Everyone nods and agrees. Powder grins at you, Silco shoots you a small almost-smile, and Claggor and Vander both look genuinely pleased to have you here.

All eyes then land on Mylo, and he shrugs again, mumbling, “I guess it is good to have you here.”

“See, it's a christmas miracle, Mylo isn't being a little prick for once,” Powder teases.

Mylo scowls at her. “Hey, I'm never a little prick-”

“Bullshit.”

Mylo just grumbles again, his eyes narrowing at Powder. “I just think that-”

“Nobody cares what you think,” Powder interrupts again.

That just causes Claggor, Vander, and Silco to laugh. Vi snorts next to you, squeezing your thigh.

The conversation soon changes to talking about old childhood holiday memories.

Mylo tells a story about you and him stealing Silco's secret chocolate stash when you were twelve. Silco scowls at the memory, but there's a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Powder tells a story about the time she accidentally burned the back of Vander's hair with a roman candle. Vander laughs and shakes his head at the memory.

At some point, Claggor chimes in to tell a story about a time he and Mylo accidentally broke a window during a snowball fight. Even Mylo himself laughs at that one.

There's lighthearted banter, friendly jabs, and just a lot of laughter in between. This, this is what it should have been like from the beginning. It reminds you of the way it used to be when you were all younger, but still has a different air to it. In a way, it's almost better than those old days. Everyone's grown, but there's still that same energy that always connected you all as a family... it just feels fuller.

You don't know if it's just the christmas lights playing tricks on your mind, but you swear you can almost see the faintest tearful sheen in Vander's eyes. He's almost always had a bit of parental pride and love toward all of you, but seeing you all sitting here together, happy... damn, it must bring back a lot of memories for him.

Silco even looks slightly less grumpy than usual, his mouth twisting into a barely visible smile as the rest of the table continues talking. Yeah, this is how christmas should be…

It almost makes you forget that all of this is fake, almost makes you forget why you and Vi aren't together anymore. It's almost like just for tonight, you can pretend like things are back to how they used to be.

But you know this will not last. When everything is said and done, when christmas night is over and you're all saying your goodbyes, you have no doubt in your mind that you and Vi will go your separate ways again.

You glance at her, taking in the sight of her laughing with the rest. Her eyes are bright, her smile is big, and her entire face lights up with joy. 

You bite the inside of your cheek, forcing your heart to quiet. 

Vi must notice you looking, because she glances over at you. She's looking at you with that look again. You recognize it so easily.

That look... that damn look she's giving you again. The look that makes your heart stutter against your ribs, the look that makes your stomach twist into knots. It's a look that almost makes you want to lean forward and kiss her.

You almost give into your urges. You almost reach out and push a stray strand of hair out of her face, you almost do something to kiss her, almost.

But you don't, you can't. That would spoil the whole 'still dating' facade, and besides.... you have boundaries.

You give her a little nod, offering a small smile, and you almost swear that you see disappointment flash across her eyes.

She looks like she wants to say something, her hand tightening over your knee again, but she seems to change her mind and just smiles back.

Maybe it's just a figment of your own imagination, you think to yourself. Maybe it was a trick of the light or something.

Claggor reaches over to grab something from the middle of the table, and Silco clears his throat. “How about you two?” he says it casually, like he's just making small talk, but there's a hint of concern in his voice. “Any... any problems between the two of you lately?”

You and Vi both sit up straighter. “Problems...?” Vi repeats.

Silco just shrugs, playing it casual. “I don't know, I'm just wondering... a lot of couples who have been together for as long as the two of you have.” He trails off, but everyone at the table knows the implications.

Mylo grumbles under his breath. “I swear, if you start talking about how high the divorce rate is—” Claggor elbows Mylo, and he shuts up.

Silco just chuckles. “Oh, I'm sure you two can last.”

Powder rolls her eyes. “These two have been together since forever. You guys were like... practically attached at the hip, from day one.”

“Yeah, we were like that, weren't we?” Vi looks back at you.

“Yeah,” you say with a casualness you don't feel. “Yeah, we were.”

Silco hums. “I remember when you two first started dating.”

“Oh, do you remember that?” Vander says, looking at Silco. “I remember the two of them coming to me the day they decided they were going to be official.”

Claggor nods. “Yeah, and they were so... so mushy. All 'you're mine' and 'we're never going to break up,” he puts on a mock high-pitched voice, imitating you and Vi

“That was the worst,” Powder groans, shoving food into her mouth.

Mylo grins and elbows Claggor. “How many times did you have to stop them from making out all over the bar again?”

“Way too many times.”

“By the way,” Mylo says. “You two aren't doing anything for new years, are you?”

You and Vi exchange glances. “..we haven't made plans yet,” you say slowly, trying to think of excuses.

“Oh, you should come join us then,” Mylo says, leaning back and stretching his arms. “All of us are getting hammered down here for new years, you two should come.”

“Yeah, it'll be fun!” Powder pipes up, eyes lighting up. “You guys will come, won't you? promise you'll come.”

You open your mouth, trying to wrack your brain for excuses, but before you can say anything-

“Of course we'll come.”

You turn to look at Vi, and she just gives you a shrug.

Mylo grins. “Good, good! That'll be fun,” he sits up and points a finger at you both. “I swear, the two of you used to be so much fun at parties, it's like you both went boring when you got older.”

“Hey, just cause we're getting old doesn't mean we suddenly became party poopers,” Vi says defensively. “We're still fun.”

Mylo cackles. “Are you now? I never see you two do anything anymore,” he leans back in his seat. “Ever since you got that fancy shmancy job, you've been too busy to have any fun.”

“We know how to have fun, we have—” you pause, trying to think of the word, “responsibilities now. responsibilities that a certain someone is too dumb to understand.”

“I understand responsibilities, but I understand the concept that if you don't get wasted while you're young, then you'll wake up at forty, old and boring,” he says, looking at Silco and Vander. “And I want to make the most out of my young and reckless years. Meanwhile, you've already turned into an old, boring fart.”

You scowl at that, but Silco interrupts before you can respond. “Don't knock on old farts just yet. Some of us are old and still know how to have fun.”

“Yeah,” Vander chimes in, nodding his head. “Just because we're old doesn't mean we don't know how to have a good time.”

Mylo rolls his eyes and waves a hand. “Yeah, yeah, you old farts can still have fun. You just don't know how to have real fun anymore.” Mylo then pouts. “I just... I miss how it used to be, you know?” he sighs, resting his chin in his hand. “Before all that adult crap, when things were easier.”

“Easier,” Powder mutters, poking at the remains of her food. “Yeah, when we were broke and always hungry, real easy.”

Mylo reaches over and flicks her arm. “Easy doesn't always mean money, you dumbass.”

Powder scowls and smacks his arm back. “Don't call me a dumbass, you dumbass.”

“Then don't be a dumbass,” Mylo snaps back, smacking her again.

Powder smacks him again, harder. “Don't you dare call me a dumbass again.”

Before they can start another childish argument, Silco's voice cuts in. “Enough you two," he says, and they immediately grumble and fall quiet.

“Honestly, I sometimes wonder how the two of you aren't still in high school,” Vander mutters under his breath.

“That's an insult to high schoolers, they're more mature than those two,” Claggor jokes, earning him a smack to the head from both Powder and Mylo.

He yells and puts his hands up in surrender, “ow ow ow, ok ok! don't hurt me!”

Jinx and Mylo laugh, while Silco shakes his head. “See what I mean? Children.”

“And they both insist they're mature enough to be out in the real world, independent and capable,” Vander says, while Silco chuckles.

“They're still just as chaotic now as they were in high school,” Silco says dryly. “Nothing has changed.”

Powder and Mylo both glare at him. “Really? like you two were that much better in high school,” she grumbles.

Silco raises an eyebrow at that. “We certainly weren't as immature as some people,” he says pointedly.

“You guys were probably just as bad as us, you just don't remember."

There's a pause, and Silco and Vander exchange glances before Silco snorts. He tries to bite back a laugh, but it comes out anyway, causing Vander to burst out laughing as well.

“I can't-” Vander wheezes between laughs. “I can't believe... you actually…”

Silco doubles over, laughing even harder. After a moment, he manages to gasp out a few words. “Oh, if you only... if you only knew…”

Powder and Mylo exchange confused glances, while Claggor tilts his head. “What? what happened? what's so funny?”

The laughter finally dies down as Silco composes himself enough to speak. “Nothing, it's nothing,” he says, waving a hand.

“All right, all right,” Vander looks around the table. “I think most of us are done eating. Who wants to help with the dishes?”

There's a collective groan from the rest of the table. No one likes doing dishes.

Powder and Mylo immediately groan out a “not it,” and Claggor follows up with “You all know I'm terrible at dishes-”

“Don't look at me either,” Silco grumbles. Vander just sighs and shakes his head.

and that just leaves you and Vi... great, just great.

You're about to argue as well, anything to get out of being stuck in the kitchen with Vi, but she beats you to it. “Yeah, we'll do it,” she says, before you can even open your mouth.

“Oh, I-” you pause for a moment. You had been fully intending to dodge the chore, but now you can't without looking like an ass and leaving her alone to do dishes.

Vi stands up and picks up the nearest stack of dirty dishes, balancing them on her arms as she turns to you. She shoots you a look, almost like she's daring you to try and weasel out of helping.

You get the hint, shaking your head a little and standing up. This is absolutely the last thing you want to do right now.

You follow her to the kitchen, grabbing a few more dishes along the way.

She holds the kitchen door open for you, and you step into the little kitchen with its small stone countertops and simple appliances. You set the dishes down on the counter near the sink, turning to find Vi already rolling up her sleeves.

She's not looking at you, but when she starts to roll up the left side of her shirt sleeve, you swear you can see her eyes dart over to you for a split second.

You pause, staring at the side of her face. You can't tell if she's... no, you must be imagining things. The light must be playing tricks.

She clears her throat, raising one eyebrow. “What, you're not gonna help?”

“No, no, I am,” you hurriedly say, turning away as you start to roll up your sleeves.

You're not going to look at her. Not at the way her forearm flexes when she reaches down to turn on the water, not at the way she bends over to grab some dish soap, and definitely not at the way her shirt tightens across her shoulders.

Yeah, you're definitely not going to look at her. Not at the way her fingers move when she soaps up the dishes, not the way her biceps flex when she bends her elbow, and especially not at the way her hair falls into her face when she scrubs at a stubborn stain.

Why is she so fit?

You look down at your own hands, watching the water and soap bubble up between your fingers. You start washing another dish, trying your absolute hardest to look anywhere except at her.

The minutes tick by in awkward silence, but eventually, your mind starts to wander. After all, washing dishes is pretty damn boring.

You glance over at her again, out of the corner of your eye, watching the way her shoulder blades shift under her shirt. The fabric of her shirt is stretched taut against her shoulders, and you wonder what she looks like under it if she still has all the same muscles....

Yeah, okay, you really have to stop staring at her.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Well, so much for not looking at her. Your head snaps up at the sound of her voice, and you force yourself to just focus on scrubbing at the glass in your hands. 

“Depends what the question is,” you grumble, shifting a little.

You expect her to ask you something about your current life or something generic. What happened when you were gone, what life was like where you were?

Instead, she asks something completely left-field.

“Do you ever think about us?”

You tense up, the glass in your hands slipping a little in your grip. You were not expecting that question. Hell no, you were literally not expecting that question.

How are you supposed to answer that? yes? no? sometimes?

What was she even expecting to hear? did she want you to say yes, to say that you always thought about her, that you would've come back to her in a heartbeat if you could've? or did she just want to hear you say no, to hear that you moved on, that you had to move on because it was either that or let yourself fall apart?

‘Sometimes’ was definitely not the answer you would've given months ago.

Now, though? you would admit that sometimes, after a rough morning or a particularly lonely night, you'd let yourself think about her. You'd remember those nights you spent in her apartment, on her shitty couch, talking her ear off about everything and nothing, the nights where the two of you would sit on the couch and watch tv, her head resting on your shoulder, and you'd wonder if maybe... just maybe..

You wonder if she thinks about that kind of stuff too, if you cross her mind late at night when she's alone. You wonder if she still thinks about the nights where you would stay in bed together, talking for hours after a particularly good round, your head resting on her chest as she played with your hair, or the mornings where you'd wake up and find her making breakfast for you.

Yeah, you thought about her a lot.

But you couldn't say that to her. You can't tell her that you think about it all the time, about how sometimes you can't fall asleep because you miss the feeling of laying in bed with her, about how you always find your hands searching for her in the middle of the night. No, you absolutely cannot tell her that, no matter how badly you wanted to.

“I used to,” you say instead of letting your thoughts wander any farther. “Not anymore.”

You keep scrubbing, even after there's no longer any more dirt on the glass. Just so you have a reason not to look at her, just so you have a shield from the thoughts you know are brewing in her quiet mind.

She's quiet for a moment, and you can feel her looking at you. Looking at you, reading you, trying to figure out if you're telling the truth or not.

After a few moments, she takes a breath like she's going to speak, but then stops herself. It's something you're all too familiar with. She's overthinking something, that much is obvious. She's trying to pick her words carefully, and damn, you just wish she'd spit it out.

The silence feels like it's been going on for a year, but really, it was only around a minute. Your knuckles are turning white from how tightly you're gripping the glass you're washing, and your shoulders are beginning to ache from how tense you are.

“What about you?” you murmur. “Do you... do you think about us?” You force yourself to look over at her, and you instantly wish you hadn't.

She's not looking at you now, she's not watching you suspiciously or anything like that. No, instead she's looking down, staring at the soapy water, and avoiding eye contact with you.

She's quiet for a second, her hands pausing in their scrubbing. “Yeah,” she finally says, “I do.”

Damn it. Her answer goes straight to your gut and twists deep inside you.

You were absolutely expecting a solid “no”, hell, you were even preparing yourself for a cruel “god, no.”

Anything, anything other than “I do.”

She continues scrubbing at a plate as if she hasn't just turned your world upside down. How are you supposed to react to her answer? do you say something, do you not say something?

“Why?” the question leaves your lips before you can stop yourself.

“Why do you think so?”

You don't say anything, you just shrug your shoulders. You genuinely don't know. You'd just blurted out the question without actually knowing what you wanted the answer to be.

Her eyes linger on yours for a few seconds, and you can't quite read them. She looks like she wants to say something, she looks like she wants to reach out and hold you, and you'd bet real money that if circumstances were different, she would've done exactly that.

Instead, she just averts her gaze back to the sink and lets out a sigh. “I don't know... I just do.”

You go back to scrubbing dishes. It's obvious there are a million things that you want to say, that you need to say.

“Oh,” is all you say in response, and the word hangs in the air awkwardly.

You're both quiet for a few minutes after that. It's quiet, except for the faint music playing in the background and the sounds of dishes clinking against one another.

A few times, you catch yourself glancing over at her, trying to pick up any hint of what she could be thinking, what she might say next. But, every time, she stubbornly keeps her eyes down on the dishes she's scrubbing. It's frustrating, the way she just won't look at you, and what pisses you off most is the fact that you understand why she won't look at you.

You have a feeling that if she were to look at you, if she were to meet your eyes right now, she'd either burst into tears or shove you into a storage closet and kiss you until your lungs burned.

You don't know which one would be worse.

It's so quiet, so awkward. You're both just scrubbing and scrubbing, refusing to look at the other.

Every time she takes a breath, you look over at her, convinced she's about to speak. But, time and time again, she doesn't, and the only sound to come from her is a shaky exhale.

It's maddening.

The sound of Claggor's voice finally breaks the stifling silence, and you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. He peeks his head into the kitchen, grinning widely. “Yo, you two almost done here? Powder is about to get impatient.”

You're thankful for the interruption, and judging by the look on Vi's face, so is she.

“Yeah, we're done,” Vi mutters, glancing up from the dish she's been washing for the last ten minutes.

You dry your hands off on a nearby towel, trying to look unaffected. “We're finished.” 

Claggor grins again, “Thank God, Powder is about to start biting people.” He laughs, then disappears back into the main room.

“That sounds like her,” she says with a chuckle, scrubbing her hands off on a towel.

“Guest we should head out there then,” you murmur, trying to get her to actually look at you.

She hesitates for a second, still running the towel over her hands even though they're no longer wet. She looks down for a moment as if she's contemplating something, then finally lifts her head to look at you.

Her jaw is tense like she's forcing herself to stay quiet. After a few seconds, her features soften a little. “Yeah.”

You want to ask her what she's thinking, you want to ask her why. Instead, you just push the door of the kitchen open and gesture for her to go first.

—

“Now that we've had an amazing dinner, it's time for the best part of the night.”

Everyone gathers around, now sitting either on the couch or on the floor. Powder and Mylo immediately get squished together on the floor. Powder mutters under her breath, “Hey! you're shoving me!”

“Only because you're taking up too much space.”

Vander smiles from his spot on the couch. “Alright! It's time for secret santa. Everyone remembers who they drew, right?”

A group of nods and hums go around as everyone pulls out the slips of paper that have the names they drew.

Vander clasps his hands together. “Good!” he says as he looks around the room, his smile getting wider. “Who wants to go first?”

A few seconds of silence, then Powder’s hand shoots up. As always, she's the most excited one. “me!”

Vander laughs. “Well, look at that, our little girl is so eager. Okay, you can go first, Pow-Pow.”

Powder smiles and scrambles off the floor, almost tripping over herself as she pulls a present from beneath the Christmas tree. She glances down at the tag and grins.

She then scans the room with a giddy smile, then her eyes land on Silco.

She bounds over to him, practically shoving the present into his hands as she sits down on the floor next to his legs. 

Silco smiles faintly as he takes the present. “Alright, let's see what you got me, hm?” He's quiet as he carefully unwraps the present, and Powder watches him who barely contains her excitement.

After a moment, the wrapping paper is set aside, and the present is now fully unwrapped. It's just a little box, though Silco is curious as to what's inside.

He glances at Powder as he takes the lid off the box, looking a little wary. Powder just grins at him. “Go on, open it,” she encourages.

He looks back at the box and, with a little nod, reaches in and pulls out the item inside. He holds it in his hands and looks at it curiously, then looks at Powdr with a raised eyebrow.

She's still grinning, and she looks extremely pleased with herself. Mylo glances over to look and snorts out a laugh. “Would you look at that?”

Silco looks at the item in his hands, then looks at Powder again. “You got me…” he begins, trying to sound unimpressed. “...a little shark plushie?”

Powder nods, her grin getting wider, still very pleased with herself. “Yep!” she exclaims, “I got you a little shark plushie. You like it, right?”

Silco glances at the plushie and then at her again, looking vaguely fond. He carefully sets it down on his lap, then smiles a little.

“I adore it.”

Her grin somehow widens even more. She's clearly happy with herself. Silco chuckles a little under his breath, then looks around. “Who's next?”

Claggor shrugs, raising a hand. “I'll go,” he offers, to which Vander nods.

“Go ahead, Claggs,” he says approvingly.

Claggor gets to his feet from his spot on the floor, then moves to the tree. He crouches down and rummages around, looking for the present with the correct name tag.

A minute passes as a few minutes go by. He eventually stands back up, a small present in his hands. He looks around the room, then his eyes land on Mylo, who's now lying down on the floor and looking very bored.

Claggor moves over to him, tossing the present into his lap. Mylo looks up and catches the present, shooting him a glare. “You couldn't have done that a little nicer?” he complains while sitting up.

Claggor just shrugs and gives him a flat look. “Suck it up,” he tells him bluntly before sitting back down.

Mylo scoffs and begins to unwrap the present, ripping the wrapping paper off carelessly. He tosses the wrapping paper away, then looks down at the present as he tears the box open. He's quiet for a moment, looking at the contents...

..and then he groans, covering his face.

“Oh, come the hell on,” he grumbles, though he sounds more whiny than anything else. He glances up from his hands to give Claggor a withering look.

“Dude, seriously?”

“What?”

Mylo just sighs, shooting the toy in the box with a dismayed look. “Really? a stress ball?”

Claggor shrugs. “I thought it was a good idea,” he says, clearly not bothered by Mylo's unimpressed tone. “And you seem to be lacking a bit in the stress management department.”

“Well, excuse me for being a bit stressed when you're being a dick.”

“See, you need the stress ball. You proved my point right there.”

Mylo just groans and throws his head back. He picks up the stress ball and squeezes it hard. “I hate you.”

Claggor merely grins. “I love you too.”

Mylo mutters something under his breath, too quiet for anyone to hear, then looks up as he addresses the group. “So, who's up next? I'm sure there's some poor sap itching to go.”

Silco raises a hand. “I'll go next,” he offers.

Everyone glances at him, then nods and gestures for him to go. He gets up off the couch and saunters to the tree. He scans the presents beneath it, moving a few aside to find the one he was looking for.

He finally finds it and smirks to himself, grabbing the present and standing up. His eyes sweep over the group, taking in everyone's expressions. He then turns and walks over to Vander, holding the present out to him.

Vander glances at the present, then at Silco, taking the present and curiously giving it a little shake. “What is it?” he asks curiously.

Silco just grins in a vaguely irritating way and sits back down. “Just open it,” he replies, his voice dripping with innocence.

Vander raises an eyebrow but begins to unwrap the present meticulously, occasionally shooting Silco a glance, as if expecting something. He peels away the wrapping paper to reveal a small box, then looks at Silco, his eyes questioning.

Silco simply shrugs and gestures for him to go on. Vander quirks another eyebrow up but opens the box anyway, now a little intrigued.

Then a snort finally escapes him. He's now fighting to hold back laughter.

Mylo sits up suddenly, looking at Vander, then at Silco, curiosity in his eyes. “What? What is it?” he asks eagerly.

Vander doesn't answer for a moment. He's still staring into the box, looking like he can't believe what he's seeing.

He then looks up at Silco. “Please tell me you're joking,” he implores.

Silco's smile widens even more. “I couldn't be more serious,” he replies.

Vander lets out a long, suffering sigh, then digs through the tissue paper and pulls something out of the box.

It's a pair of comically large underwear, one that could practically fit an entire person inside of it.

Vander groans, holding the underwear up and staring at them with slight disgust.

Mylo and Powder both start laughing once they register what the present is. Powder laughs so hard she nearly falls over, clutching her stomach as she howls with laughter.

Vi's eyes widen at the sight of the underwear, her mouth dropping open a little in surprise. As much as it pains her to admit it... she just knows the jokes that Silco is going to start making any minute now.

…and she's right.

“You see, I thought it was a necessary gift.”

“Necessary?” Vander repeats, still holding the underwear up in disbelief.

Silco just nods. “Of course. you're getting old, and as you get older... accidents happen.”

“I'm not that old,” Vander grumbles, though he knows it's probably not the best argument.

Silco smirks, raising a hand and waving it dismissively. “Oh, you know what I mean. Things begin to... fail as you age. I simply wanted to make sure you had a spare pair.”

Mylo is now practically rolling on the floor, clutching his sides. “Oh, my god, I can't breathe—this is—this is gold,” he wheezes. Powder is laughing so hard she's choking, practically coughing her lungs up.

Vander sighs again, looking down at the underwear in his hands. He looks like he wants to throw it into the fire and destroy it right there.

He glances up at Silco, giving him a look that clearly says, 'I will get you back for this'.

Silco leans back against the couch and crosses an ankle over his knee, looking all too pleased with himself. “What? You don't like them? I personally thought they were a good choice.”

Vander opens his mouth to reply, but Powder interrupts him.

“Oh, god,” Powder chokes out, “you should try them on. They'd look perfect on you.”

Vander shoots Powder a glare to kill. “No way in hell,” he mutters firmly, folding his arms and sitting back.

But Powder’s not done. “Come on, just try them on,” she wheezes. “It really would be a look for you.”

Vander turns his glare to Powder, his expression clearly saying, 'I will murder you if you keep talking.'

“No,” he replies through gritted teeth.

Even Silco is starting to look amused.

“Just for a second,” she teases, “come on, just long enough for us to see. We won't even say anything.”

Vander lets out another long, suffering sigh.

He shoots a sneering look at both Silco and Powder. Eventually he lets out an exasperated grumble and stands up, mumbling something under his breath as he heads into the bathroom with the underwear.

Mylo falls back onto the floor, clutching his stomach.

Silco is laughing too, watching as Vander heads to the bathroom to change.

Mylo is dying of laughter, gasping for air in between wheezes. “Holy shit,” he chokes out. “He's really doing it.”

It takes a few minutes, but eventually the bathroom door swings open and Vander exits, looking like he regrets every decision he's made that led him to this.

His face is as red as a tomato as he stomps back over to them in the gigantic underwear.

Mylo and Powder are losing it again, falling over and rolling on the floor with laughter.

Silco is smiling, trying to stifle a laugh. “Oh my,” he says, barely containing his amusement. “They look even better than I imagined,” he comments.

Vander can hardly look anyone in the eye, still red with embarrassment. “I hate you. I hate you all.”

Claggor looks at Silco and Powder, clearly trying not to laugh. “You guys are terrible,” he says, a trace of a smile on his face.

Vi can't hold back her laughter anymore, she's grinning from ear to ear. “You look... perfect,” she comments through a strangled chuckle.

Vander turns his glare on her, still red with embarrassment. “I hate you all,” he repeats, shaking his head.

Powder is still giggling from the floor. “I want pictures,” she wheezes, holding up her phone.

Vander looks like he wants to smack her head off. “Absolutely not. I forbid it,” he snaps, sounding as serious as someone wearing comically large underwear can.

Powder just pouts, lowering her phone. “Oh, come on,” she says with a whine, looking up at Vander with puppy-dog eyes. “Just a few.”

“No, I'm not having pictures of me in these... embarrassing things circulating the internet.”

“The internet? Who said anything about the internet?” she replies, a smirk on her face. “I just meant... a few for my own personal, um, research.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but Silco chimes in first. “Oh, come on. Humor her. It's the season of giving.”

Vander turns his glare to Silco, his expression almost murderous. “There's no way in hell—”

“Pleeeease?” Powder interrupts, holding out her phone again.

Vander looks like he's about to argue, but Powder is already giving him those damn puppy-dog eyes that he struggles to resist.

He hesitates, then, with a grumble, he sighs. “Fine, one picture.”

Powder looks like a kid on Christmas. The instant the word 'picture' leaves Vander's mouth, she leaps to her feet and lifts up her phone.

“Stand up straighter.”

Vander obeys, reluctantly straightening up.

“Say cheese,” she grins.

Vander grumbles under his breath, but he cooperates. “Cheese,” he mutters, putting on a strained smile.

Powder snaps the picture, then lowers her phone and looks at it with a satisfied smile. “Oh yeah, you're getting on the naughty list for this one,” she grins, wiggling the phone a little.

Once the picture-taking is over and Vander changes his clothes back, Silco motions for Powder to settle down.

“Alright, settle down. It's time to continue with the secret Santa,” Silco says, looking at the others.

They all nod in agreement, still snickering but mostly focusing on the present exchange.

“Who wants to go next?” Silco asks, looking around the group.

Mylo looks around, then grins. “My turn.”

Powder rolls her eyes, knowing that look on his face all too well. “Here we go,” she mutters under her breath, preparing herself for whatever nonsense Mylo is about to come up with.

Mylo smirks, holding up his present. “Well, I drew someone's name... and it was a pretty easy choice.” He then looks around the group with mock innocence. “Oh, where's my victim?”

Claggor lets out a defeated sigh. “Who exactly is the unlucky person this year?”

“There's only one person who I could have possibly chosen…”

“Would you just spit it out before the suspense kills me?” Powder snaps, impatient.

Mylo huffs. “Jeez, have some patience,” he grumbles. “Anyway, my secret santa is…”

Vander sighs, looking like he's already regretting this. Claggor puts his head in his hands, bracing himself.

“My secret santa is, drumroll please…” they reluctantly drum their hands against any surface near them.  “My very special secret Santa is…”

Claggor covers his face with his hands, looking like he's praying.

Mylo grins, looking from face to face, savoring the moment before he does the big reveal.

“My secret Santa... is Powder!”

“Fuck!” she groans, burying her head in her hands.

“Aww, what's the matter, Pow?” Mylo grins, holding up the wrapped present.

Powder lets out another groan, glaring up at him. “You're the worst,” she mutters, looking like she's praying to any god out there to just put her out of her misery already.

Mylo grins, clearly getting a kick out of her misfortune. “Come on, don't be like that. It could be worse, I could have gotten you a box of spiders,” Mylo teases, shaking the present in her direction.

Powder looks like she's seriously considering that as a better option. “You know what? Give me the spiders. Spiders would be better than whatever it is you got me.”

“Nice try. You're not getting out of it that easily,” he says, holding the present just out of her reach. “You have to open it, come on.”

Powder grumbles in protest, then reluctantly reaches out for the present. She snatches it out of his hands, shooting him a glare. “If I die from this, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life,” she mutters, slowly tearing the wrapping paper.

Then, Powder tears back the last piece of wrapping paper, revealing a plain black box. “What the hell is this?” she mutters, looking like she's already fed up with whatever shenanigans Mylo has come up with.

“You're going to have to open it and see for yourself.”

Powder grumbles, giving Mylo a glare that could freeze hell over. She slowly opens the black box, not sure what to expect.

“Please tell me this is not what I think it is,” she mutters, looking like she's two seconds away from throwing the entire box at Mylo's head.

The others lean in closer, curiosity getting the better of them.

“You did not get me what I think you got me.”

“Oh, you're going to have to be more specific than that,” he replies, trying to hide his smirk.

Powder glares at him, her jaw clenching. “You know what I'm talking about,” she snaps, looking like she's contemplating dumping the contents of the box over his head.

Mylo just shrugs, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.” 

Vander just rubs his face with one hand, knowing that this situation is about to spiral out of control.

“You're telling me,” Powder hisses through clenched teeth, “that you didn't get me exactly what I think you got me?”

“Like I said, you'll have to be a bit more specific,” he responds, looking entirely too smug for his own good.

Powder looks like she's about to explode. “Mylo, I swear to-”

Claggor cuts her off, knowing that she's about to blow her top. “Calm down, Powder,” he says, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I'll calm down when the box goes straight over his head.”

“Why so angry? I thought you'd be excited.”

“I can't wait to make you eat that box,” she mutters, her hands clenching into fists.

“Oh, I'm so scared.”

Vander interjects, trying to diffuse the tension. “That's enough. No need to start throwing things around.”

“I was just having fun.”

“Yeah, have fun with a black eye.”

“Enough,” Silco says, giving both Powder and Mylo stern looks.

Both Mylo and Powder grumble, reluctantly backing down a bit.

“Can we all just get back to opening presents, please?” Vander asks, sounding exasperated.

The others nod in agreement, though Powder still looks like she's not done with Mylo yet. She glares at him one last time before reluctantly returning to her seat.

Mylo just grins, clearly enjoying having gotten the last word in. He takes his own seat next to Claggor, looking very pleased with himself.

The others exchange glances, silently agreeing to not let Powder and Mylo be too close to each other for the rest of the evening.

Silco clears his throat, getting everyone's attention. “Now, who's next?” he asks, looking around the room.

Vander nods, leaning back in his seat. “I'm up next, I guess,” he mutters. He rummages at the gifts under the Christmas tree. After a few moments of searching, Vander finally finds the present he was looking for. He picks it up, holding it in his lap.

“This one's for you,” he says, handing the present to Claggor.

Claggor takes the present, looking curious. He glances down at it, then looks up at Vander with a soft smile. “Thanks,” he says, starting to unwrap it.

Once the wrapping paper is off, Claggor is holding a box of assorted tools. They range from pliers to wrenches to screwdrivers.

“Just like you requested,”  Vander says, watching as Claggor starts inspecting the tools.

“Wow, these are great. Thanks, dad,” he replies, running a hand over the tools in the box.

Vander smiles, clearly pleased to see that Claggor likes his present. “I thought you'd like them. I saw them at the pawnshop the other day and figured you could use them.”

“I definitely will. These are a huge upgrade compared to what I have now.”

Vander reaches over and pats Claggor on the shoulder. “You deserve it. You've been working your ass off lately.”

Vander looks around the room, looking for the next person to take their turn. “Alright, who's up next?” he asks, eyeing everyone lazily.

Mylo's head suddenly snaps up, a smirk on his face. “Oh goodie, it's Vi's turn.”

“Come on, Vi, your turn,” Silco says, looking a little amused.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses,” she mumbles, getting to her feet and making her way over to the christmas tree.

Vi crouches down, rummaging through the presents. After a few moments, she finally finds the present. She grabs it, standing back up. She looks over at you, looking a little bit like she's been caught doing something she's not supposed to do.

She makes her way over to where you're sitting, holding out the present. “Here, this one's for you,” she mutters, looking a little tense.

You take the present from her, looking down at it. It's heavy in your hands, the wrapping paper slightly crinkled from how hard she was holding it. “Thanks, Vi,” you say, looking up at her.

“Don't mention it, babe,” she mutters, her voice sounding a bit strained.

Powder and Mylo both let out a chorus of ‘aww’ when they heard her use the nickname.

“Shut up, you two,” she says, glaring at them both.

You start unwrapping the present, tearing off the festive wrapping paper to reveal what's inside.

Once the wrapping paper is off, you're holding a small box. It's plain, made of brown cardboard, and doesn't look like much. But as you look back up at Vi, you can see a hint of nervousness on her face.

She's watching you intently, her expression almost anxious. It's a look you don't often see on her face, and it's a little startling.

Still curious, you glance back down at the box in your hands. You lift off the lid, opening it slowly.

There, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, is a necklace. It's a silver chain with a small silver heart pendant. It looks delicate and beautiful, and judging by the look on Vi's face, she spent a lot of time picking it out.

You slowly reach into the box, lifting the necklace out of the tissue paper. You hold it up, letting the chain dangle from your fingers. It glints in the light, the pendants catching the glow from the Christmas tree lights.

Vi is still watching you intently, her eyes fixed on the necklace. She shifts a little on her feet, looking like she's holding her breath. 

“Do you like it?”

You look up from the necklace, meeting her gaze. “Yeah, I do,” you respond, your voice just a little bit shaky. “It's beautiful.”

You hold the necklace in your hand, running your thumb over the pendant. Without even thinking, you reach up and clasp the necklace around your neck.

It fits snugly against your skin, the pendant resting on your collarbone.

You look up, catching Vi watching you as you adjust the necklace. “Looks good on you,” she says, her voice lower than usual.

“Thanks,” you reply, still running your thumb over the pendant.

Mylo and Powder both let out another chorus of ‘aww’ clearly touched by the sight.

Vi shoots them another glare, her eyes narrowing. “Would you two shut up, for Christ's sake?”

“Oh, come on, sis. It's cute” Powder teases.

“Ah, young love,” Silco says. 

Vander chuckles, nodding his head. “I remember my younger days.”

“Don't you mean your younger hookups?” Silco shoots back.

Vander grins, holding his hands up. “Guilty as charged.”

Silco laughs, shaking his head. “Some things never change.” Then, he glances around the room, looking for who's turn it is next. “Lasty, who's next?” he asks, looking at everyone present.

You look around, seeing that almost everyone has given out their gift. It's obvious that your turn is next. “I'm up next.”

You get to your feet, making your way over to where the presents are. then you hold the present in your hands, not looking up quite yet. You can feel Vi's eyes on you.

This is it. You take a deep breath and look up, meeting her gaze. 

You walk over to her, your heart beating a little faster. You feel a little bit nervous, but you try to push it down.

You stop in front of her, holding out the present. “Here you go, babe.” 

Vi's expression softens a bit, her eyes darting down to the gift in your hands. She reaches out and grabs it, looking slightly puzzled.

You watch silently as she unwraps the gift. 

Vi looks at it, her eyebrows raised. “Is this... a sweater?” she asks, a little bewildered. It's clearly hand-knit, with uneven stitching and a clashing color scheme.

“I made it myself,”

“You made it?” she asks. “Like, with your own two hands?”

“Obviously..”

“I mean... it's…” she starts, her voice trailing off as she tries to find the right words.

“It's hideous?” you suggest.

She winces a little, looking like she can't deny it. “Yeah, kinda…” she mutters.

“Hey,” you say, mock-indignant. “I spent a lot of time making that, you know.”

“I can tell.”

“Then, try it on.”

Vi hesitates for a moment, looking at you a little warily. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you nudge her. “Just try it on, for me.”

She sighs, clearly realizing there's no way out of this. “Fine.”

She pulls it over her head, struggling a bit to get her arms through the sleeves. The fit is a little awkward, and the sweater seems a little too small. But somehow, it kind of makes her look... cute?

She tugs at the sleeves, looking down at herself. “How do I look?” 

You pretend to look her over, like you're seriously considering the question. “I dunno,” you reply. “it's... something.”

“Be serious. I look like an idiot, don't I?”

“Don't be like that” you tease, reaching out to straighten the collar of the sweater. “It's not that bad.”

“Not ‘that bad?’” she repeats. “Are you kidding? I look like a walking christmas tree,” she groans, tugging at the sleeves yet again.

“I think you look…. fine”

“That's the best you've got? 'fine?'”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don't know,” she mutters, sounding slightly petulant. “Something more than just 'fine’”

“Okay, okay,” you say, holding up your hands. “Let me rephrase that, you look…” you pause, scratching your chin “...very christmas-y”

“You really know how to boost a girl's ego.”

“I didn't realize you needed your ego stroked.”

“I don't,” she protests, a little flustered. “I'm just saying, a little bit more enthusiasm would be appreciated.”

Silco clears his throat, drawing everyone's attention. “Ahem, now that the present giving is concluded…” he glances around at the crowd.

Silence falls over the room as everyone waits for Silco to speak. The tick-tock of the grandfather clock is the only sound that can be heard.

Silco glances at the clock, a smile on his face. “It appears to be midnight,” he says, pausing for emphasis. “Which means…”

A chorus of “Merry Christmas!” rises up from the group, everyone sounding festive and cheerful. 

You look back to Vi, who is still fiddling with the sweater. “Merry Christmas,” you whisper, not wanting the others to hear.

She glances at you, a small smile touching her lips. “Merry Christmas to you too,” she replies, her voice just as quiet as yours.

Awkwardly you glance down at the carpet, unsure of what to say next. 

“Hey,” she says suddenly, her voice drawing your attention. “Can I talk to you for a second…? In private?”

“Sure,” you agree, following her as she leads you away from the group.

She leads you into a small back room, closing the door behind her. The room is dimly lit, with only a few bare light bulbs lining the walls. Aside from a few boxes and some old crates, the room is empty.

She turns to face you, leaning against the wall. She's quiet for a moment, her gaze averted to the floor. you can tell she's trying to find the right words, fiddling with the hem of the sweater again.

“Listen,” she begins, finally meeting your eyes. “I know this is weird, and I know things are... difficult right now. But…” she pauses, letting out a short sigh. “I just want to say one thing…”

“Go on,” you encourage.

“I…” she starts, then falters. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, nervousness flitting across her features. Her gaze drops to the floor.

“Well, I just…” her fingers fumble at the edge of her sweater. “I just... I miss you.”

Your heart skips a beat as she finally says the words out loud.

You've been wanting her to say that for weeks, months even. After everything that's happened between the two of you, you desperately wanted to hear those very words fall from her lips. But now that she's saying it...

What the hell do you say to that?

You're speechless, stunned into silence by her honesty. You open your mouth, intending to say something, anything. but words seem completely lost to you at this point. You just stand there, staring at her, dumbfounded.

“Say something,” she finally says, her voice tense. “Say anything. You're just staring at me like an idiot.”

“I don't know what to say.” Because, you really don't know what to say. You have so much you want to say, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat.

“Say you hate me. Say you never want to get back together. Just... say something.”

She's waiting. Waiting for something, anything. An opinion, a response. something, anything from you. But what can you say? Do you tell her the truth—that you've missed her so much you can't even sleep at night? that the last month has felt like a living hell, having no contact with her?

You want to tell her that you hate her for throwing you away just to come back around wanting something from you again, but your tongue feels like cotton.

“Say something… yell at me, curse me out, anything!”

But her tone gets under your skin, and suddenly you feel the anger start to build inside of you. 

Who does she think she is, demanding a response from you? she's the one who tossed you aside without a second thought. You're sick of this. You've done everything for her, given her everything she wanted, and here she is, pushing you for more.

It is too much—all too much. Without a word, you turn from her, heading toward the door. You can't do this anymore. 

You hear her call out your name as you shove open the door, but you don't stop. You make your way back, stopping at Vander's side.

“Vander, I'm going to head out.”

Vander nods, giving you a knowing look. He can tell something's going on, but he's wise enough not to press the issue.

“Alright, kid,” he says gruffly. “Get some rest, yeah?”

You nod your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “Yeah, I'll try,” you mutter, giving him a wave before starting towards the exit.

When you pass by Silco, he gives you a curious look. You catch his gaze and give him a small nod.

Finally, you make your way out the front door. The cold night air hits your face, making you shiver. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the walk home.

But then you hear the door swing open behind you, her footsteps hurry after you.

“Wait!” her voice calls out. “Wait, stop!”

You keep walking, your steps quick. You're trying to get as far away from her as possible to outrun all of the feelings that came rushing back to you—

“Let me walk you home.”

Her words cut through your thoughts, sharp and unexpected. You falter, your steps slowing down.

You stop walking, turning around to face her. “What?”

She's standing there, looking like a kicked puppy. Her shoulders are slumped, her expression sheepish. She can tell you're not happy she's followed you out here, but she looks like she doesn't care.

She lets out a huff, her breath coming out in a white cloud in the cold air. “I just... look, whatever happened in there, whatever happened between us... just let me look out for you. Just let me walk you home. I.. I have to know you're safe.”

“I don't need a babysitter,” you practically growl, your irritation obvious. “I can handle myself.”

Vi flinches at your words, but she doesn't back down. If anything, she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin. “I know you can,” she snaps. “I'm not offering to babysit you. I'm just... I'm just asking to walk you home.”

You glance back at the entrance of their house, the warm lights and sounds spilling out into the cold night air. 

You turn back to look at her, your voice softer this time. “You don't have to walk me home. We don't have to keep up the act anymore, I'm going home and... you've got better things to do than worry about me.”

“Screw the act,” she mutters. “I'm walking you home. It's not up for debate.”

You stare at her, baffled by her insistence. “Seriously? What's the point, Vi? We're not together anymore. Why bother?”

Her jaw clenches, her shoulders tensing. You know she hates this. She hates hearing you say it. Her heart is on her sleeve, and you're tearing pieces out of it, right in front of her.

“Because I care!” she snaps. “Maybe it's hard for you to believe, but I still care about you.”

You shake your head, scoffing at her words. “No, no, no, you don't get to act like you care now. You're the one who broke up with me. You're the one who walked away and left me.”

“I made a mistake,okay? I was a damn idiot, and I screwed up.”

“A mistake?” you echo, scoffing again. “You ended everything, and now you want to walk me home? What, you think that makes up for everything? You think it’s that easy? You threw away everything we had like it meant nothing, like all those months we spent together meant nothing.”

Your voice is trembling with anger as you continue. “And then what did you do? You went around, throwing yourself at anyone that gave you a second glance, like I never meant anything to you. Yeah, I know all about that. So don't try to act like you actually care when you clearly didn't give two shits.”

She looks away, her jaw clenching. “I was trying to get over you. I was trying to push you out of my head and it hurts like hell. Every night, every morning, it was like there was a hole inside of me, and no matter how hard I tried to fill it, no matter how many times I went out, how many times I tried to forget you, nothing worked. You were stuck in my head, and I hated it.”

She takes a step closer to you. “I know it sounds stupid. I know it doesn't make any sense. I just... I needed something to distract me, something to keep me from thinking about you. Because it hurt too damn much to think about how much I messed things up.”

“Yeah, congrats. You did a damn good job at distracting yourself, huh? It sure as hell didn't take you very long to get over me.”

She winces again, the guilt written all over her face. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out to you. How many times I thought about coming back to you and begging you to take me back.”

“But you didn't,” you say. “You didn't reach out to me, you didn't try to fix things. So why should I believe you now? Why should I believe that you're sincere when you didn't care enough to fight for us before?”

She looks down, unable to meet your gaze. “What was I supposed to do?” she whispers. “I messed up. I messed things up and I don't know how to fix it. I don’t know how to take back what I did, how to make things like they were before I messed up. All I know is that I miss you. I miss you so damn much, and I’d do anything to have you back.”

You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry. Everything she's saying, it's everything you've wanted to hear for months. It feels like a dream.

But you can’t let yourself fall back into this. Not when you’ve worked so hard to move on. Not when you’ve spent so many nights crying into your pillow, reminding yourself that she didn’t care enough to fix things, to fight for you.

“Why now—Why do you want me back now, after all this time? Why didn’t you want me back when it mattered, when I needed you?”

She looks up at you, desperation in her eyes. “Because I was an idiot! Because I was stupid, and scared, and I thought walking away would make it easier, but it just made it worse. Because I spent every damn night regretting that I let you go and wishing that I could take it all back. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry for what I put you through.”

“Sorry doesn't fix things,” you say, your voice shaking. “Sorry doesn't take away the pain, sorry doesn't undo what you did.”

She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I know saying sorry won't magically fix things, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for walking away, I'm sorry for everything I did wrong. Just... just give me a chance. Give me a chance to make things right.”

She takes another step forward, her eyes pleading. “Give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I love you and that I want to make things right. If I screw up again, you can toss me to the curb and never speak to me again. But please, just give me one more chance.”

“I don't know,” you murmur. “I just... I don't know.”

“I'll do anything. I'll get on my knees every day if I have to. I'll beg on my hands and knees. I'll crawl on my hands and knees. I'll grovel on the ground. Just... please, just give me one chance.”

“I'll think about it. Just...just give me some time to think things over.”

“Okay, okay. I'll give you time or whatever you need. Just please don’t shut me out completely.”

Without hesitation, she envelops you in a tight hug. Her arms wrap around your waist, her face burying into your neck. Her body clings to you, every part of her desperate and needy. “I miss you so much,” she mumbles.

You stand awkwardly, unsure of what to do. But then, your body betrays you, your arms slowly wrapping around her.

For the first time in a long while, you're holding her again. Her warmth, her scent, her touch—it’s all so familiar, so painfully familiar. So damn familiar that it hurts.

“I hate you.”

“I don't blame you,” she pulls back a little, her hands coming up to cup your face.

She lifts her hand, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. “I hate you so much,” you repeat, a tear falling down your cheek.

“I deserve that,” she says, her thumbs gently wiping away your tear.

“Damn right you do.”

You have no idea what to do or what to feel. Everything is a mess, and you're drowning in it.

For now, all you could do was hold her tight and bury your face in her shoulder. 

You hated how good she felt against you and how right it felt to be held by her. You hated the way your heart skipped a beat whenever she whispered in your ear. 

Damn her for making things so confusing, for making you feel so damn much.

You felt her hand rubbing your back, her fingers tracing circles over your skin. It was a soothing gesture, a silent apology for all the pain she had caused. It only made things worse, making your heart ache even more.

If only things had been different. If only she had been more communicative. If only she had been more sensitive to your feelings. If only she had been there for you when you needed her.

If only she hadn’t walked away and left you broken. If only she hadn’t hurt you the way she had.

And most of all, if only you had been strong enough to push her away and protect yourself from this mess.

But here you are, standing in the middle of a street wrapped in her arms. You felt like a fool, like a damn idiot, for still wanting her after everything.

You wanted to hate her, you wanted to make her suffer the way you had suffered.

But how could you hate her when she was looking at you like that? how could you hate her when she was holding you like this?

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she still had this kind of effect on you. 

Her eyes met yours, and you saw everything you had missed, everything you had longed for. and you knew, right then, that you were in damn trouble.

—

In the window, Vander and Silco watched you and Vi from afar, the soft glow of the christmas lights casting shadows over their faces.

Silco takes a drag of his cigarette, the smoke curling around him as he exhales. “Your little plan worked quite well,” he says, looking at Vander with a sly smile.

Vander just shrugs, sipping his drink. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he replies, keeping his expression neutral.

“You're not fooling anyone.”

Vander hums, taking another sip of his drink. “I don't know what you mean,” he says again, keeping his gaze locked on you and Vi.

Silco let out a puff of smoke, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don't play coy, Vander. You knew damn well what you were doing when you rigged that secret santa.”

“I may have had a little influence,” he admits.

“A little influence? oh, don't downplay it. You wanted them back together, and you knew exactly how to make it happen.”

“I have had a hunch that they still cared about each other,” he says, his voice casual. “And plus, I don't want to see Vi moping around for the past months.”

“And we couldn't have that, could we? seeing her moping around like a lovestruck puppy.”

Vander nods. “She was really terrible at hiding it,” he says. “always pacing around, always looking like she lost a puppy.”

Silco takes another drag of his cigarette, blowing rings into the air. “It was painful to watch,” he says, shaking his head.

“It was like watching a kid trying to hide a secret… I just hope they figure things out.”

“I agree,” Silco says, his eyes flickering over to you and Vi. “Hopefully they can work things out.”

Vander hums in agreement. “Only time will tell.”

They watch in silence for a moment, seeing how you and Vi are still holding each other.

“I still wouldn't forgive you for that damn underwear you got me.”

“That was the funniest thing you could have received.”

Vander grumbles, narrowing his eyes at Silco. “I do not find it funny to receive underwear as a gift.”

notes: idk what is happening

somewhere out there, heimerdinger just dropped the biggest, most justified ‘i told you so’

established!vi x reader

vi tells you caitlyn asked her to join the enforcers. it doesn't go well.

"She asked you to join the Enforcers," you say blankly, staring Vi dead in the eye before you burst out laughing. Vi watches as you do, her expression painfully contorted into something oddly unreadable.

You laugh and laugh, waiting for Vi to join in with you until you realise that she can't.

You stop laughing and go emotionally, so quick that it's terrifying. Vi doesn't blame you, though and tries not to hide from the emptiness of your stare.

"I..." Vi starts, trying to find the words. "I can see where she's coming from."

"Bullshit," you reply immediately, rage building but not quite ready to burst. "That's bullshit, Vi and you know it."

Vi nods for a moment but then shakes her head, conflicted.

"Pow—Jinx has done so much wrong," Vi says, pained. "And I just know that my little sister would never commit the heinous crimes she's done." She runs a hand through her hair, sinking further. "Fuck, she wouldn't...she'd never do all that shit and not feel a single ounce of remorse—"

"Vi," You interrupt sharply, and that stops Vi, your tone deadly. "I don't think you understand all that has happened. I can't even believe that you would consider joining them." Your voice is rising. "After everything they've done to us!"

"You think I want to join them!?" Vi fires back. "I think I would enjoy being on their side. You should know me better than that!"

"I thought I did!" You yell, your rage now a burning inferno. "Vi, this isn't the way to do things. Yes, what Powder has done is beyond merciless, but you need to stop and consider why!"

"So she can kill more people?" Vi says, and it's so blunt that it knocks you in the stomach. "You and I both know... that Powder, our Powder, is gone. And the sooner we accept that... the better it is for all of us."

There's a moment of silence, heavy around both of you, and it's just...it's too much.

You can't believe it.

That Vi would just do this.

"...Okay," you say lowly, and you turn around before walking away. You hear Vi call after you, her voice getting louder and louder the further you go.

You turn around, look into her desperate eyes before saying, "you've made your choice."

And then you're gone.

caitvi x f!reader, established!vi x reader

caitlyn learns something new.

~~~~

"your girlfriend's pretty," caitlyn says innocently enough, watching as you play with the kids of the underground. there's something about that's so magnetic, so utterly wonderful that caitlyn can't help but be drawn in.

vi sighs dreamily. "isn't she?" she replies, smiling before eyeing caitlyn playfully. "so, ah, you like women, huh?"

caitlyn turns an adorable shade of pink, blue eyes widening as she looks at vi.

"i–! i mean, i do find–find women to be a-attractive and–" she stutters and vi can't help but find it immensely endearing. it makes her want to tease caitlyn more.

"relax, cupcake," vi says with a laugh. "this is a safe space and besides, that's good to know."

caitlyn blinks, the pinks of her cheeks fading a little.

"why?"

vi nods over to you. "because pretty girl and i have been having some talks so she'll be happy to hear you swing that way."

caitlyn's brows furrow, her confusion obvious as she says, "what do you–?"

then she looks over at you and sees you staring at vi and her. your eyes meet before you're winking at her, pretty face alight with mischief and opportunities.

caitlyn gasps, suddenly feeling hot beneath her collar, as she ignores vi's knowing laugh.

oh.

this is pretty much what happened. right.

Drunken

featuring. ekko x reader

happy turkey holidays 🦃

note. when reading this imagine the boom sound effect everything ekko says something unhinged. (lol)

Lights from flickering neon signs bathed the streets in hues of green and purple, casting eerie shadows along the broken walls and uneven pathways. Ekko sat perched on a ledge high above the chaos, his feet dangling lazily as if he didn’t care if he slipped and fell. He often came here to think, to escape. Tonight, though, his solitude was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps. It was yours.

“Hey,” you greeted, your voice softer than usual but edged with something he couldn’t place. You were wrapped in the jacket he’d given you, its fabric worn but warm against the chill of Zaun’s smog-filled night.

Ekko glanced over his shoulder, his face unreadable in the half-light. “What do you want?” His tone wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t welcoming either.

You frowned, hesitating for a moment before stepping closer. “I just… I wanted to see you. You’ve been distant lately.”

“Yeah? Maybe I had a reason.” He swung his legs, his sneakers catching the dim light as he stared out at the cityscape.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped, your patience fraying at the edges. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong, Ekko. You’ve been shutting me out—”

“Maybe you’re the problem,” he interrupted sharply, turning to face you now. His eyes were hard, a rare thing for someone who usually carried so much warmth. “You don’t get it, do you? You’re always here, always around, like… like you think I owe you something.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut. You stepped back, your breath hitching. “I’m clingy? That’s what you think of me?”

Ekko groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You confuse me, alright? You’re all over the place, acting like you care but then pulling back. I can’t—I don’t know what you want from me, and I don’t have the time to figure it out.”

Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you shrugged off the jacket he’d given you and threw it at his back. “Fine. You don’t have to figure it out. Here’s your damn jacket.” Your voice cracked, betraying the pain you tried to hide, and you turned on your heel, storming off without another word.

Ekko called after you, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. His words had cut too deep, and you needed to get away.

The Last Drop was dimly lit, its familiar haze of smoke and alcohol making it feel both comforting and suffocating. You slumped onto a barstool, not caring about the stares you earned as you ordered the strongest drink they had. The bartender raised an eyebrow but obliged, sliding a glass toward you. The liquid burned as it went down, and that was exactly what you wanted.

By the third drink, the room felt like it was spinning, but you didn’t care. You leaned heavily on the counter, muttering to yourself about Ekko’s audacity. “Clingy? Really? I’m just supposed to—” Your drunken rant was cut short by a familiar voice.

“Y/N.” You turned, and there he was, standing near the doorway with your jacket in hand. He looked out of place here, his usual confidence tempered by something softer. Regret, maybe.

“What do you want?” you slurred, glaring at him as he approached.

Ekko didn’t answer right away. Instead, he draped the jacket over your shoulders, only for you to shrug it off. It fell to the floor, and you stared at it for a moment before looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes.

“You dropped this,” he said simply, picking it up again before sitting on the stool beside you.

“I didn’t drop it. I threw it at you. Big difference.” Your words were biting, but your voice wavered.

Ekko sighed, ordering a light drink and stirring the ice in the glass as he spoke. “I came to apologize, alright? I shouldn’t have said what I did back there.”

You scoffed, turning back to your drink. “Save it, Ekko. You said how you really felt. No need to sugarcoat it now.”

“You don’t get it,” he said, his tone growing more earnest. “I’ve been dealing with a lot—stress, responsibility, everything piling up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That was wrong.”

You didn’t respond, instead taking another sip of your drink. He waited, his patience steady even as you cut him off with sharp, drunken remarks every time he tried to explain himself. Still, he didn’t leave.

Finally, you turned to him, standing unsteadily and placing yourself between his legs. Your finger jabbed at his chest, your faces inches apart. “You think… you think you can just apologize and fix everything?” you asked, your voice slurred but your expression serious.

Ekko’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his hands instinctively resting on your arms to steady you. “I’m trying, I know I messed up.”

“You’re the one that’s confusing,” you muttered, your words barely coherent now. “One minute you’re pushing me away, the next you’re… you’re here, looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, his voice low.

“Like you care,” you whispered, your hand coming up to trace the edge of his jaw. Your finger brushed his scarf, twisting it absently as you spoke. “Do you care, Ekko?”

He caught your wrist gently before your fingers could brush his lips. “Stop,” he said softly, his tone a mix of firmness and concern. “You’re drunk.”

You blinked up at him, your eyes glassy. “So? I still mean it.”

He didn’t respond right away, instead standing and slipping an arm around your waist to keep you upright. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

You stumbled against him, your legs uncooperative. “You know…” you slurred, leaning heavily into his chest, “your arms are really nice. Strong. Muscular. You should carry me.”

Ekko raised an eyebrow, but before he could protest, you jumped into his arms with surprising enthusiasm. He caught you effortlessly, sighing as he adjusted his grip. “The drunken firefly,” he muttered, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Drunk but still lovable,” you corrected, resting your head against his shoulder as he carried you out of the bar. The night air hit your face, cool and refreshing after the stifling atmosphere inside.

Ekko’s steps were steady as he walked, his grip on you firm but gentle. “We’ll talk when you’re sober,” he said, his voice low and calm.

“Fine,” you mumbled, already half-asleep in his arms. “But you better not run away again.”

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice barely audible over the hum of the city. And for the first time that night, you believed him. Let’s just hope next time he will be more open and honest about how he is feeling with you.

taglist. @diffusebread @xxblairslairxx @annybah @niredsw @stqrlxght @kriss-w @marilovz @blkmystery @multiverse-fandoms-2001 @turquoizxe @mishellii @kor-0suu @feelya @theamazingmilli @multim00n @m00nd0v3 @sodavrr @maialublmere @radtragedyarcade @spiderhook @night-fall-moon @ekkosh @hoonobono @bandletale @thesecondhandwoman @alientee @duchessmoooon @lilbunny1sworld @lil-kpopstan @mbekgsv @lulumallow @ametheslime @sunshiines-stuff @lolana101 @jadeash434 @hobieeeloverrr @misonesaturou @serene6728 @hellokittyfeenie

banner. @anitalenia

home routine because this is what i really need

they become a little family…

Giving In (to the Love): Once More to See You

4th chapter

SUMMARY: Being in her presence had an unclear effect on you, but how far would you allow yourself to go with it? WC: 3K PAIRING: Vi x Fem!Reader WARNINGS: alcohol, underage driving, miscommunication A/N: let's pretend we didn't watch the last episode of arcane girls Previous chapter

Waking up to another headache from drinking had you thinking you really needed to refuse having your glass refilled. You sit on the bed and take in your surroundings, it was strange to wake up at someone else's bedroom, someone you barely knew.

As you were getting up, you could hear laughter coming from the living room. Your phone was still on the night stand so you grabbed it and opened the door.

"So you just punched him?” a familiar voice asked.

"Yeah, had to—" Violet turned her head around and saw you standing by the door frame, she was about to grab a cup from the cupboard, "Morning, sunshine."

"Good morning," you answer while she's filling the cup with coffee, then hands it to you, "Uh..."

"Cait made it, don't worry," she says when she sees your face twisted in disgust, the clear memory of a coffee made by Violet still haunting you.

"Cait?" you ask in confusion then walk to the table and see your best friend sitting with her own cup of coffee between her hands. Caitlyn greets you and smiles, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I had to bring some stuff and Vi told me you were here, so I stayed," she replies and takes a sip at her coffee. You nodded in response and drank your own coffee, listening to them chatting about what happened last night with that costumer Violet had to kick out.

Your headache wasn't as painful anymore but you could feel your body asking for water. Just when you were about to ask Vi for it, she hands you a bottle and winks at you. Feeling your cheeks already warm, you thank her and drink, your throat getting finally hydrated and more fresh. Caitlyn was watching you curiously, seeing your face heated up after that small interaction with Violet but she said nothing about it. Instead, she finished her coffee and got up from her seat, saying she had to go back to work or else Marcus would literally kill her.

"Already?" Violet asked her, getting up herself and grabbing her keys while Caitlyn walked to the door.

"Yes, but I'll text you the rest of the details later." Caitlyn says before waving you goodbye and walking out of the apartment with Violet behind her.

You sit there in silence, staring at the mug; it had little drawings on it, very colorful just like the ones hanged on the wall downstairs, and one single letter "V" on the side. Was this Violet's mug? Maybe her sister made it for her, it certainly was a few years old, you could tell the colors were a bit washed out.

While you were inspecting that, something on the table catches your attention; an envelope directed to Violet, sealed with a stamp you'd recognize anywhere. It was the Kiramman's stamp. Your stomach twists in a knot and you grab the envelope, refusing to believe Caitlyn would write a letter to Violet. It seemed impossible, you knew Caitlyn, she wouldn't do that kind of thing for a random person— so this meant they were really close, for her to even use her family stamp on it.

"Why do I even care?" you think to yourself, unable to figure out the reason behind this awkward feeling, but you couldn't stop looking at the envelope, a million questions going through your mind at the same time.

The door slides open and you rapidly leave the envelope where it was, your heart beating fast at the sight of Violet walking in. She catches your fast movement and looks at you confused but she shrugs it off and walks to be beside you, holding herself with one hand on the back of your chair. Being this close to each other was too much for your nervous system.

"So," she begins, "shall we get into it, cupcake?" Feeling blood rushing to your cheeks and your heart beating faster than before, you stare at her in disbelief, unable to formulate a single word, and her eyes widen. She laughs outloud and covers her face with one hand, you couldn't understand what was so funny for her while you were feeling like your heart was a little bird trying to get free from your ribcage. After a few minutes of hysterical laughter from her, she clarifies, "I meant studying."

Oh God.

That did nothing to help you calm down, you felt so stupid and embarrassed. What were you even thinking? Of course she meant studying, that's why you were here in the first place. That was the whole reason you got to meet her at all.

You let out an awkward chuckle and nod, then go grab your bag and take out the same things you used the day before for her tutoring. Taking your previous seat, you start your lesson.

The red light was on as Caitlyn waited, her hands on the steering wheel and her fingers softly hitting on it; her brain was working a thousand miles per hour, trying to figure out a strategy for the case she was currently assigned to. She could hear her mother in the back of her head, saying "You have to earn all of this."

Once the red light turned to green, she continued driving to the office. Looking for a place to park wasn't difficult, she had her own special spot, a big hand-written like sign with her name on it. She got out of the car and sighed, looking up at the building with her eyes furrowed; it was still on remodelation, some of the letters were missing and the new door gave an imponent feeling, it was beautifully hand-made, its frame had little details of gold and the thin windows on both sides allowed the insides to be seen. Of course, you couldn't miss the big 'CK' carved on the panels of the door.

Although her relationship with her mother was a bit rough on the edges, she had to give it to her— she had amazing taste. Remodelating was Cassandra's idea, she thought giving a new image would suit the firm, she wanted to tell they were not stuck in the past. They were moving forward. And that's something Caitlyn agreed on completely.

Caitlyn was greeted with a pile of papers laying on her desk and a little note saying "Quick" on its side. She was tired of this meaningless paperwork, but knowing that if she could finish it early then Marcus would let her dive fully into what really mattered: her new case.

It wasn't long ago she was assigned to it after tiredlessly trying to convince her boss; he had said she wasn't experienced enough so he would look for someone else to assist him, but if Caitlyn had a remarkable virtue— or flaw, it was her stubborness. In the end, he ended up agreeing to make use of her unexperienced assistance under the condition of overworking her with all that meaningless paperwork.

To no one's surprise, Cassandra wasn't fond of the idea of Caitlyn helping such a delicate case like this. She prefferred her to dedicate her education and time to more lucrative ones, or like she calls them, "educational"; cases where her daughter would have to defend wealthy tycoons who spent their lives taking advantage of their privileges to commit crimes or abuse their position.

"Hurry up, Kiramman." Marcus was standing by the door, watching Caitlyn carefully as she wrote down on her notebook. She nodded without taking her eyes off the papers, her hand working rapidly on those letters. "Take those to my office once you're done."

She heard his footsteps getting away and stopped for a minute, it felt like she had been working all day on this and it was barely half way done. Looking at the little clock on her desk, it was a bit past lunch time and her stomach was growling at her, pleading for something more than just the coffee she had for breakfast.

Putting her pen down, she got up from her seat and walked towards the cafeteria. One of the requests she had made to her mother when she offered her the job was to treat her like any other intern, no cafeteria privilege either, so she got in line like everyone else and waited for her turn to order.

Once her sandwich and, of course, coffee were ready, Caitlyn took a seat near the window. Her mind was too focused on her case of interest, she felt personally and emotionally involved— which under no circumstance should happen, but it did and she couldn't stop thinking about it. Being able to help such a dear friend of hers was worth all the effort and extra hours she had to do.

Violet broke into her life by coincidence. Actually, more like by a literal accident; Caitlyn almost got crashed by Vi's little sister who had decided she wanted to drive Vi's motorbike and so she did. While Caitlyn was parking her car in front of her best friend's building, she heard someone yelling at her and before she could react, the little blue haired teenager crashed her open door. After many half apologies and some insults from Jinx, Caitlyn was taken to The Last Drop to meet the real owner of the vehicle.

She was already familiar with the place but only from outside, never dared to cross the door given its reputation and the prejudice she carried in the back of her mind, always present. Violet actually apologized to her and reprimended her younger sister, called the inssurance and made sure to give Caitlyn everything she needed to make the claim and then offered her a drink.

That afternoon, after some disgusting coffee made by Violet, was life changing for her. They chatted and Caitlyn found out they took a few classes together, but they never met each other because of Vi regularly skipping. Her never ending curiosity served to make Violet tell her a bit about her life and the bar, she said that it has been closed for a few days due to a tragedy and her ownership was at stake since someone named Silco wanted to sue her for it.

It didn't seem fair that Violet should lose her father's legacy because of an old society that held no legal weight, so Caitlyn offered to help. She put the accident aside and decided this was the reason for her to be working in the firm, these were the kind of cases she wanted to work on; she wanted to help people as much as she could.

Those memories stood deeply in her heart even now as she was finishing her sandwich. She returned to the office more motivated than before and kept working, hoping Marcus wouldn't bother her until it was finished.

Violet waved goodbye to her tutor and closed the door behind her, walking upstairs and getting into her apartment again. It was late in the afternoon and she'd have to open the bar soon and prepare everything to receive the usual customers.

Not many people went drinking during the week days but the ones who did were always at The Last Drop, ready to spend the rest of the night sulking or causing trouble; Vi didn't mind that, she got used to dealing with drunk men and was happy to show them some moves and kick them out. They always came back and apologized once they were sober, then asked for their usual drinks again.

Even though she spent most of her day studying and taking notes, she felt refreshed and full of energy— it didn't feel tiring or draining, the way her tutor explained different concepts and stated the connection between them, how she would prepare actual drinkable coffee for both of them; Violet would make an exception and have some as well, then watch how the other girl's face twists when she realizes her coffee is too hot and burns her tongue a bit, looking back at Vi and laughing.

The little breaks they took in between allowed Violet to get to know her a bit better, to ask about her interests or listen to her anecdotes, her complains about some of the classes which were proving to be harder than expected; she paid more attention to that than the lesson itself. When she cried that night, it had moved Violet— she wasn't expecting that kind of reaction after joking about what Powder used to say, and although the girl was sobbing, she didn't take pity on neither of them, she didn't make any comment about how sorry she was or how strong Violet must have been to deal with any of it, she just cried and then laughed at herself for being too drunk.

She checked her phone and saw a text from Powder, saying "Ooooout tonight sis!" and sighed, then received a second one from Ekko telling her that he had invited her sister over to watch Scream's whole saga and eat burgers. Rolling her eyes at how dramatic her younger sister was and how much she enjoyed making her worry, she put her phone away and got into the shower.

Hot water dripping down her body was all Violet needed before work so after being all cleaned up, she got changed into her usual bartender attire, a black shirt and trousers, and headed downstairs. She turned the neon lights on and played some music, then opened the doors and stayed behind the counter, waiting for people to start coming in.

Her mind drifted for a bit, remembering she wouldn't have the next lesson until next week. That bumped her down a little, she was hoping it would become a regular thing, like part of her routine, since she already got used to having her tutor around— which was unsettling.

"She's just doing her job." She reminded herself while pouring whisky on a glass for her own delight. Violet knew she enjoyed her company but wasn't sure what her tutor thought of her; she seemed a bit awkward when they were together, avoiding her gaze or fidgeting. Perhaps she didn't like her that much since Violet did post that embarrassing picture of her after all.

Vi grabbed her phone and instantly deleted that post she had made the night of the party, not caring anymore about the exams or the tutoring lessons, all she wanted was to at least befriend that girl. She thought about asking Caitlyn, but what would she even ask about? Why did she care so much?

She decided to take matters into her own hands and stop acting like an anxious teenage girl, so she typed a simple question and clicked to send it then immediately put her phone down. God, what was wrong with her?

You were completely exhausted, combining tutoring and studying for your own classes was taking its toll on you. It was a relief Violet understood you would be busy for the rest of the week since you were far behind on some key topics for the upcoming tests.

"Keep reading this last book and take notes." You had told her earlier before leaving her apartment.

"I'll surprise you, cupcake." She had answered, making you blush with that stupid nickname.

Your exams should take priority, you knew that, but part of the reason you decided to take a break from her was because of the envelope— you felt completely out of place, Violet had some kind of effect on you which was unclear to you just yet, but you didn't want to get in between anything. If there was something going on between her and your best friend.

Taking the left overs from the fridge, you take a seat on the couch and turn on the TV. Your mind was far away and you couldn't pay attention to the romcom playing in front of you, these people were so lucky it made you envious.

On the little table beside the couch, your phone made its particular sound alerting someone had sent you a message. You unlocked it and scrolled through your notifications; most of them were from group chats, people taking the same classes as you discussing which topic was more likely to appear in the exam and helping each other with some questions. You keep scrolling until your best friend's name pops up, she had texted you last night when you were completely wasted at Violet's place, saying she still needed your help with her current case and asking when would you be available for that. Sighing heavier than needed, you answer that she was welcome to bring food this weekend and you'd be happy to assist.

Guilt was flooding your senses, it wasn't fair to Caitlyn that you were feeling like this— she hadn't done anything wrong. Who could blame a girl for having a life? Certainly not you. But you just wanted to know what was going on without coming off as nosy, which you were.

She replied straight away saying she'd bring your favourite food as a way of thanking you. Laughing at her exaggeration, you keep scrolling until one message makes your eyes widen. It was from Violet. Your heart pace quickened as you read her text, which said "wanna come see me boxing this weekend?"

Unable to difere a thought from another, you stare at the little letters on your screen uncapable of believing she would invite you anywhere. Did this mean you were getting closer? Maybe she just wanted to fill an empty space cheering for her.

"Sure, should I bring a cheering sign?" You asked jokingly, trying to act cool and less like a nervous mess.

"make it pink and bright." Violet replied almost instantly, making you laugh softly in the solitude of your apartment. You definitely didn't care about studying anymore, this was all you were looking forward to now.

"I'll be your number one fan then."

"you better." Smiling to yourself at her answer, you decide to head to bed and sleep everything off.

TAG LIST: @pokiiks, @wickedlovely121

The Gray Reunion

Vi x reader

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: Violence, mentions of illness, blood, slightly spicy kisses ;)

Summary: In the midst of the chaos, you struggle to help the people of the Lanes. The truth behind the disaster sparks a confrontation that will test your bonds

Note:English is not my first language, sorry

In the past few hours, your modest apartment had turned into chaos. At least a dozen people had knocked on your door seeking help, intoxicated by something you hadn’t seen in years.

They could barely fit into the small living room, which also served as your kitchen and bedroom, waiting for you to help them, coughing out toxic fumes. Everyone expected you, just as your father had done in the past, to help or offer a solution, but you were completely lost, fumbling with medical supplies that had been stored away for years.

"The gray," murmured an older woman who was holding her husband as he struggled to breathe.

"That’s impossible," you replied. "We haven’t had problems with that in years, the ventilation system..."

"Then there must be a leak," she interrupted, raising her voice before a violent cough cut her off. You watched as her hand was splattered with blood. She inhaled deeply before continuing, "I’ve been through this before, but we don’t have the years on us anymore. Your father treated it countless times. Doesn’t he have notes somewhere?"

You sighed in defeat. "I’ve lost most of Dad’s things over the years. All I have left is what you see." You placed the stethoscope on a child’s back to listen to his breathing. "There’s nothing I can do. We just have to wait for the lungs to clean themselves... and stay far from the leak."

A collective groan arose from the people packed into your small space. "And how are we supposed to do that? We live there! Where can we go?" Various complaints began to rise.

"I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. We just have to wait until they repair the leak."

"They’re not going to fix it! It’s those damn enforcers! They’re killing us to get to Jinx!" Another wave of murmurs rippled through the room.

You tried to remain calm. Could that be true? Were the people above really capable of poisoning everyone just to catch Jinx? Those above had taken so much from you already that it seemed entirely plausible. But then an image came to mind—Violet. She was in Piltover now, and she would never let this happen, not to the place that had been her home for so many years and still was yours. Right?

You continued your work, trying to calm the rebellion brewing in your living room, tending to the most severe cases of nosebleeds and eye hemorrhages. But there wasn’t much more you could do. Around three in the morning, the last person finally left.

Exhausted, you collapsed onto your bed, utterly defeated. Chances were, all the patients you’d seen today would return tomorrow with new symptoms. It was impossible to recover from the gray while constantly exposed to it. You knew that if it was a crack, it would take years to fix. And if it was intentional, if they were hunting Jinx... that would also take time. There was no way they’d catch her.

A knock on the door kept you from falling completely asleep. You cursed under your breath—new patients. Your father’s voice echoed in your mind, reminding you how he wouldn’t rest until he’d helped the last person who needed him. You repeated the phrase to yourself before getting up to answer the door, only to be met with a great surprise.

Vi stood there, but the most shocking thing was her outfit. She was dressed as a full-fledged officer, an enforcer. You couldn’t suppress a gasp of utter disbelief. You had spent years of your life together; you knew her story as well as your own, and never would you have imagined the possibility of her wearing something like that—not even as a joke.

"I’m truly surprised," you murmured. She scoffed in irritation. You stepped aside to let her in, and she dropped her new, heavy gloves onto your floor. You bit your lip to keep from scolding her.

The past few days had been madness: Vi’s return, the search for Jinx, and your responsibilities trying to honor your father’s legacy had left you with barely a moment to breathe.

"Lots of patients?" she asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Too many," you replied, collapsing onto the bed again. She still stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. "You can lie down if you want... Unless you’re scared of dirtying that pretty uniform." She let out a short laugh before lying down next to you.

"I’ve barely seen you since you came back... I don’t think I ever got to tell you how happy I am that you’re here... Despite everything."

"Yeah, I suppose the first hug you gave me said it all."

"I mean it, Vi," you said, turning to face her. "Everything got so hard, but now you’re here, and I feel like things will get better."

She smiled faintly. "Yeah, we just have to fix a few things, and everything will improve." She propped herself up to sit beside you. "You look really pretty," she added. "Those dark circles suit you."

You couldn’t help but laugh. For just a moment, all the bad things disappeared. It was just the two of you in your small apartment—no Jinx, no gray, no problems in the Lanes. Just you two. Without thinking, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. She froze for a moment.

"I thought you missed me," she teased.

"I did."

"That’s not a reunion kiss. This is." Without warning, she leaned over and kissed you deeply. You welcomed her eagerly—it was like a breath of fresh air, something rare where you’d grown up. The kisses grew more intense, and your hands wandered over her torso and back. Vi positioned herself on top of you, using her hand for support on your pillow. But she quickly pulled it back.

"What’s this?" she asked.

You looked to the side, confused, and saw a large bloodstain. You hadn’t even noticed it. You sighed. "I’m really sorry." You sat up slightly, but Vi didn’t move off you. You grabbed the pillow and threw it to the other side of the room. "It’s been such a complicated day with the ventilation cracks."

"Yeah, don’t worry. I’m not at my best, either."

"Doesn’t seem like it." You kissed her intensely again, and she adjusted immediately.

"When all this is over, we should go on a real date. Like dinner and all that cheesy stuff."

You laughed against her lips at her failed attempt at romance. "I just hope it’s soon."

"It will be," she declared confidently. "Once they catch Jinx, everything will get better, and life in the Lanes will change—just like Vander always wanted."

Vi’s hands slipped under your shirt as you shared another passionate kiss, but her words lingered in your mind.

"Wait, wait, no," you said, pushing her slightly so she moved off you.

"Oh, do you want to take control, doll?" she teased.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" She looked confused, so you pushed her again to sit beside you. "The gas? Was it you?"

Vi stayed silent, hesitant to answer.

"Is this some kind of joke? You’re poisoning us just to catch your sister?" you shouted, furious.

"Hey, hey, it’s not like that... I mean, yes, but not how you think."

"You bitch," you spat, jumping out of bed. "Do you even understand the damage you’ve caused?"

"Listen to me. We used the gray to clear the streets, to keep people safe," she tried to explain.

"Used? Who’s ‘we’? You and your new enforcer friends? Well, you didn’t protect anyone!" You exploded. "Do you have any idea how many people you hurt? At least fifty came here today!"

"She’s a murderer! She killed half the council, she—"

"She’s not a traitor," you cut her off sharply.

The room fell silent as you watched Vi clench her fists in anger. You’d struck a nerve.

"Did you really do this for her? Or did your new enforcer friend convince you?" you spat, unable to hide your disgust.

"Don’t call her that!" Vi’s hands grabbed the collar of your shirt, pushing you against the wall.

You stayed inches apart for what felt like ten seconds before she let go, though she didn’t step back. Her heavy breathing mixed with yours, and you could smell the perfume from her uniform—a scent impossible to find down here.

"Get out of my house," you whispered.

"You have to understand—"

"Get out!"

Vi sighed loudly, grabbed her heavy gloves from the floor, and walked to the door. You opened it for her, stepping aside. She crossed the threshold without meeting your gaze but stopped in the doorway.

"I hope your new friend is worth it." She didn’t turn around, just kept walking down the dark street, away from your home.

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

What had you expected? Nothing had stayed the same over the years.

You locked the door before collapsing into bed. Tomorrow would be another hard day in the Lanes.

pitfighter!vi knew it was bad to be indulging in something like a whorehouse, yet, she found herself at babettes often since she starting fighting in the ring.

usually, it was a quick in and out, but this time, she heard of a new worker. since the others started declining her because they were too rough with them, she decided to take the chances with you.

she drunkenly stumbled into babette’s place, grabbing onto the doorframe to steady herself.

that’s when she saw you. standing there, all pretty in nothing but pink.

vi’s eyes widen. she sees you talking to babette, no doubt starting as a worker there. vi chuckles to herself as she thinks, oh, i’m having fun tonight.

vi stumbles forward, grimacing as her shoulder hits the wall. she walks forward, leaning against the front desk.

“hey, babette.” vi slurs. she turns her glance to you, peering you up and down. her hungry, raw eyes make a shiver go down your spine. her badly-dyed black hair, ends pink, like how you assumed her hair used to look. she had bruises on her face, blood stained on her lip.

you gasp.

“hey, beautiful.” the girl rasps.

“vi.” babette says calmly, “i’m afraid.. you’ll have to take your business elsewhere.”

“what?” she turns to babette. “why?”

“well.. none of my girls will take you anymore. if i mention your name, they instantly say no.”

what the hell could this girl have done that makes it so every girl would decline her? money is money, you thought. and this girl seems willing to pay it.

“that’s bullshit.” she scoffed, slapping her palm on the desk. “bunch of wimps.”

“that’s precisely why, violet.” babette shakes her head. and her name is so.. un-fitting, you think. maybe the girl she was before, the girl with pink hair, was violet. but, this didn’t seem like a girl who deserved the honour to be named after things as delicate as flowers. but then again, you never liked delicate girls.

“i will.” you speak up. you straighten your back.

the girl— vi, turns to you. she eyes you up and down. and she reeks of alcohol, but, you could overlook that.

truth be told, you wanted to see what she would do that the others that made them not want to take her as a client anymore. you wanted to see what she could do.

“will you?” vi leans toward you. you smell the alcohol on her tongue. what made her this confident.. and if she can back it up?

and babette gives you a look. “alright. goodluck, then.” she snorts, leaning back.

you glance back toward vi. her eyes are staring at you like she can see underneath your clothes. undressing you with her eyes. and you wonder how she could look so damn hot.

red jacket. black hair. face-paint on her face. the way she held herself was so.. unreal. she knew she was attractive, and that’s what made her even more attractive.

you hadn’t had a good fuck in a while. at your old brothel, it was nothing but smelly, old, beer-bellied men, often from piltover looking for the thrill on cheating on their wives.

so, you hoped, maybe, just maybe, her reputation holds up, and you can just.. let yourself go.

oh, and boy, was she able to hold it.

you were writhing. your legs shaking, wrapped around her head as she eats you out like you’re a damned feast on christmas eve.

“o-oh, gods!” you’d scream, hands digging into her black hair, gripping and pulling her scalp. vi whines against you as you pull and tug, your plush, soft thighs wrapped so tightly around your head.

her fingers curl inside of you, only adding to the pure euphoria you feel. you’d fully forgotten everything— nothing mattered but vi’s tongue on you, licking through your folds, tasting you, feasting on you.

“ugh— fuck!” you whine, head throwing back against the pillow. the smoke of the candle around you, earthy scent only adding to the fog in your head.

how could anyone pass up on this? you’d think as her tongue brings you to your fourth orgasm of the night. your voice cracks from the sounds you’ve been making, no longer caring about how people might hear you. you’re too far gone to care.

“that’s it,” you hear vi whisper, voice vibrating against your skin in the most pleasurable way as it could. her voice was rasped, so drunk on your taste that she swore she’d never tasted better pussy before she met you.

“vi, vi, vi—“ you chant her name like a damn mantra as her hands tighten on your hips, dragging you toward her as you begin to pull away.

“oh, fuck, s’too much!” your voice slurs, her tongue chasing you as you pull back.

but that wasn’t true. you wanted this, you wanted more then this, you wanted to be treated so well that you forgot your own name.

she takes a second, pulls her head away, and you sigh in relief. “you asked for this.” she says, before running her tongue along your folds, your hips jerking at the sudden stimulation.

she placed a kiss against you, before pulling back, running a hand over her hair, inhaling a deep breath.

yet, her hands don’t pull away. she smiles a toothy smile as her fingers begun rubbing small, long circles over your most sensitive spot, leaning toward you.

“mmf, vi.” you cry, eyes opening to peer up at her. you don’t realize the tear running down your temple before she wipes it away.

“so beautiful.” vi gasped, fingers dipping inside you only to move back up. you cry out, legs shutting against her hand, preventing her from moving her hands any further.

but, her eyes darken, and her other hand rips your leg to the side, pinning it to the side of the bed.

“don’t do that.” she nearly damn growled, “do that again, and you’re only getting it worse.”

she leans toward you, eyes glancing all over your body, at the plush of your stomach, so soft, and twitching, pushing up from the bed, leaning into her touch despite your protests.

“ohmygod!” you whine. “fuck, oh my god!”

everything around you was so hazy. so foggy, so unreal. her hands were unreal, so laced with skill it almost drove you insane.

“said you can take it.” vi’s slurred voice only brings you more into the spiral of your own pleasure. her lips find your neck, placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses on your skin. her teeth nip at your neck, grazing against your skin, and it’s such a sweet gesture if you weren’t so out of it.

the feeling makes your skin set ablaze, prickles all over your body.

“you can take another. can’t you? hm?” she hums against you as her slender fingers dip back into you, curling, pressing against that spot she now knew drove you absolutely crazy.

and you whimper and whine, but you don’t protest. you wanted this. that’s all you’ve wanted for years. someone who can keep up with your stamina, your needs.

and vi not only meets that, but surpasses it. you swore she was between your legs for three hours and didn’t move once to breathe.

she was so enveloped in you. and that’s what you need.

her fingers rile you up, ignoring the absolute ache of your core, your whole entire body. you relished in the fact that you’d probably be here all night, but that’s what you wanted.

and as you feel your stomach untwist, that knot release, your vision goes fucking white from the searing, hot pleasure through your whole body.

“ohm—“ you cry, chest heaving as her fingers work you through your orgasm, slowly, yet continuing to abuse your bruised spot that she’d been hitting all night. “fuck, fuck! fuck me, oh my god!” you cry, gasping for air.

your arms throw around her, pulling her against you, entire body curling into her, legs clamping around her hand. your body shook, your nerves feeling like they were alive, and they would never die.

and finally, she stops.

you gasp a satisfied breath of air, mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut before she finally lets her hand slip away from you.

her hands glide up your body, stopping at your hips before she hauls you over her own body. her hand rests on your back, her own breath heavy as she tries to regain herself.

“you’re amazing.” she whispers against your hair. you freeze, taken aback by the sudden intimacy, but you let yourself melt into her, both not having the will or the strength to pull away from her.

“you’re fucking amazing.”

and slowly, you laugh. you glance toward her.

“are you.. are you done?” you say quietly, timidly.

she cocks a brow. “do you not want me to be?”

you shake your head. “no, no..” you inhale a deep breath, hand moving to take one of the strands in her hair in your palm. “for now, im done.” you snort as you shake your head, body still compelling from the previous orgasms. “but..”

“but?” she hums, hand moving to grab the plush of your ass, before running up your back. you gasp at the crude gesture.

but, you shake it off.

“you.. you haven’t let me touch you at all.” you say, shakingly pushing yourself up, resting your palms on her chest.

you let your hair spill over your face as you move closer, lips hovering just above hers.

“yeah. that’s not what i’m here for.”

vi gasps a breath of air. she brings herself closer, hands resting on your hips.

“that’s what you paid me for.” i cock a brow, before laughing and pressing kisses along her jaw, up to the corner of her mouth, testing the waters.

you smirk, you hand moving down to her jacket, slowly pulling it away.

“let me do my job. huh?”

“fine. but you’re not getting anything out of me. i give. i don’t receive.”

“you underestimate me.” you smile against her lips. “i’ve been in this business for years. i know how to pleasure a woman, vi.”

she pushes herself up, nose touching eachothers.

“we’ll see about that, cupcake.”

vi left the brothel feeling like a new person. all she could think was, what the fuck?

she clears her throat as she passes by babette, not daring to look at her as she struggles to stand on her shaking legs.

she discovered something about herself she never thought she would that night. and oh, she’d definitely be coming back if that meant you were there.

a/n. for @obivari :,)) more info on my taglist here

part 2 here.

Maybe a part 2 of the arcane characters saying things they regret, but they're apologizing because I can't live after reading a angst 🫠

Making up with Arcane characters after a bad argument. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader

(Previous part)

Fine, fine, here is a happy part two guys. Take it as an apology for the tears and pain I've caused.✨️

Content: Swearing, accusations of cheating, slight angst, making up, fluff, potential spoilers for season 2, established romantic relationships, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》VI

She knew that she had fucked up. There was no way to deny or refute it either. And your absence was further proof of that.

You were always there for her, even when things got bad and she became even worse. No matter how much she yelled or drank, you were there afterward to nurture her back to health. It was so unfair of her to expect it still, after all she had said to you. She hated herself. She hated how weak and pathetic she had become. How she can't even stand straight anymore from the alcohol and couldn't win a single game since she had lost you.

And instead of Caitlyn haunting her like she used to, it was only you now. But you were crying every time. Asking her why she hated you so much. Why she couldn't care for you the way you cared for her. Why you were always the second choice despite having been there since the start.

Why, why, why.

Gritting her teeth against the headache, she made her way through the dark, familiar lanes to your small home that you once shared together. She had to talk to you. She really, really had to. Even if it's far too late now after a week of silence in-between the two of you. She had taken the time to reflect and think about everything, especially about your relationship. And it made her realise that nothing in this world was losing you too.

Knocking on your door, she nervously waited as she heard your footsteps quickly approaching her from inside. You opened the door carefully, ironically just how she had taught you, before freezing at the sight of her. She gave you a weak smile, attempting to look calm and friendly, but it still scared you off. "Hey cupca-" You tried slamming the door into her face mid greeting, but her foot was faster to jam itself in the way.

"H-Hey! Wait, please hear me out!" "Fuck off, Vi. I'm not in the mood to hear more of your bullshit. Go back to Caitlyn since I know how badly you want that!" You never cursed, and every word you spoke made her flinch. She, for some reason, didn't expect you to be this mad. But it hurt, and she deserved it. Another thing she underestimated was, unfortunately, your strength since you somehow managed to push her away and shut the door again. "Come on! Please! I... I didn't mean what I said. I just... have been losing my shit ever since what happened. The guilt is killing me, and I know it's not an excuse! You're right, I have to stop this shit! You're right, I need to stop treating your love for granted!"

She didn't know if you were even listening to her anymore, but it didn't stop the tears that burned in her eyes. "I don't give a damn about Caitlyn like that! I never did! It always you for me. You... you cared for me when no one else ever wanted to, and I was such an idiot for not appreciating it more." Her hand slammed against the wood in defeat, her head coming to rest against it as her body trembled. She was so scared of losing you. This can't be the end. "Please. Please just give me another chance to prove myself. I know I'm a fuck up but I swear I'll do better now."

Vi nearly fell right through your house entrance when you opened the door wide with a teary huff. "God, you're such an idiot... get in already before the neighbors complain." You didn't let her reply as you simply dragged her inside and locked the door again. The pitfighter watched you do so with a gentle gaze, one that felt so familiar to you. "... Fine, I'll give you another chance... but no drinking or fighting anymore. Please." You whisper to her, and she nods quickly before engulfing you in a warm hug.

She knows that she isn't fully forgiven yet, but she'll do everything in her power to prove herself worthy of your love again.

》CAITLYN

"You're still up." Caitlyn's voice was calm and gentle now, so different from the stern and cold tone it had before. You ignored her, however, knowing better than to fall for this again. She always got like this when she knew she had screwed up and was trying to crawl back into your good graces. But this time around, you didn't allow it that easily. You refused to speak to her if she hadn't come back to apologize. And yet... you couldn't help but allow yourself at least one sharp dig at her. "And you're late to bed once again. But I suppose Officer Nolan's 'report' was just that interesting, no?" You were perhaps the only person in all auf Pultover that could ever accuse her of something so scandalous as adultery and get away with it.

It certainly would have been amusing if Caitlyn didn't feel so sick at the thought of you believing that.

Sighing, she placed her hat onto a clothing hanger, her jacket following suit. You were facing away from her on the bed, trying to read a book and rest, despite the pain in your heart. It was hard being angry at her when you loved her so deeply. But her insults had struck much deeper than that.

The bed dipped behind you, and soon enough, you felt her strong arms surrounding your body and her nose tickling your cheek. "I'm sorry, my love. I really am. I... have lost my cool, and that was wrong of me." You scoffed at her words, finding them too shallow for the pain she had caused earlier. Yet you struggled to get out of her strong grasp on you. It felt desperate. And you hated the warmth and security that it made you feel. "If that is all you have to say, then you can leave." You hissed out weakly but couldn't find any malice in it. Just heartbreak, that solidified in more tears burning in your eyes. "Because how... how could you ever say that I could betray you? Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you care?"

Caitlyn hummed against the nape of your neck soothingly, a way to acknowledge the plight she had caused you without revealing her own tears. The grief had made her into a monster. A monster that hurt its friends, family, and most importantly, you. It was unforgivable, and yet she wanted to prove herself worthy of you anyway. She wanted to show you that she hadn't changed deep down like everyone claimed. She was still yours.

"... I will find a way to end this war and resolve it peacefully as soon as I can. I swear it to you." She began, her voice low and gentle, as she listened to the sound of your hiccups and sniffling. This wasn't what she wanted. "And I apologize, truly, for what I called you... I know that you are loyal and trustworthy. Much more than I ever could be... I'm still your Caitlyn." The last part was whispered quietly, as she tried everyone in her power to not break down in front of you like this.

She hated what she had become deep down. She knew it was wrong and that her mother must've been turning in her grave at the sight of what she had done. But what she couldn't handle at all was you hating and leaving her.

There was a moment of silence before you turned to face her and immideatly hugged her impossibly close as you cried into her arms. She rubbed your back lovingly, understanding that this was your way of accepting her apology. But forgiveness will still be a long journey she was willing to take.

For now, she'd rest in your embrace thankfully.

》JINX

Deep down, you knew that she didn't mean what she said. She never would do anything to hurt you. Silco's death was just killing her more than anyone could have expected, and it was hard for everyone to deal with. But you just couldn't take the pain and hurt she caused you anymore. You've been there since day one. You were always at her side. You always took care of her when no one else wanted to. And you understood her better than she did herself. But it was ultimately just not enough. Or so you thought.

The young girl that was now dragging you through the lanes reminded you of her too. She didn't speak a word to you, and for some reason, you didn't have it in you to protest against her odd actions either. She somehow seemed to recognize you the second you bumped into her. And that was enough for her to take your hand and lead you to a very familiar hideout. Perhaps it was fate that brought you here again when you needed Jinx the most.

"Hey kid, who's our little guest-?" The rest of the young woman's words died on her tongue, and it left you simply staring at each other. There was a familiar haze in her eyes, one that you often saw when the voices were taking over. She once mentioned that you sometimes became a part of her hallucinations during longer absences, and that reminder alone made your heart ache. You shouldn't have run away that day. But what other choice did you have? She didn't trust you anymore. She didn't think you should be together anymore. Why were you even here?

"S-sorry... I'm just going to leave..." You muttered as your ears rung and that familiar burning in your eyes made your sight blurry. You felt suffocated and somehow also angry, wishing she could just see how much you loved and cared for her. But just as you were turning away to run again, her strong hand was quicker and held you back by your arm. "Wait. Let's just... talk, alright? Like we always do?" That was your thing. Whenever things got bad, you'd sit down and talk calmly to her about it. She used to scoff at it every time... yet she was the one who suggested now for once. Something about it shook you so hard that it made the first tears finally spill at the recognition she had given you for all the work you've put into her.

Jinx panicked a little at that, unsure of how to comfort you, yet at Isha's stern frown and cross of her small arms, she just hugged you for the first time in a while. And god, did she miss it.

Perhaps it was good to show the little girl a picture of you after all.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I swear, sweetie! I... I won't ever say stuff like that again. Just don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I just, I was just-" You hushed her by just hugging her tighter and shaking your head. "It's okay... just hold me for a while. We can talk later... I missed you so much." You whispered, voice breaking into sobs. Jinx hummed weakly and sighed against your hair, the familiar scent making her relax and feel better at last.

Isha grinned to herself behind you before quickly sneaking off to let you talk things out.

》EKKO

To say that the entire firelight hideout was pissed at him would be an understatement. Absolutely everyone disagreed with the way he treated you, and the side eyes he got very much confirmed this. But the worst part of it all was definitely you avoiding him like the plague.

Every time he entered a room, you were the first one to leave in a hurry. Every time he tried speaking to you, you either ignored him or found an excuse to get away. Every time someone even mentioned his name to you, your mood seemed to dampen. And that hurt so much that it killed him. This isn't how he wanted you to feel about him. He was your boyfriend, damnit it. Yet he acknowledged that he was failing at his job way more than he should've allowed himself to. He had to fix this somehow.

Ekko couldn't just lose you over his own foolishness. You were the one person who motivated him to keep going even on his worst days. You were the light he fought for. The person he battled to come home to every day. He couldn't handle your absence any longer, especially at night when he laid wide awake in your empty bed without you.

And so, he finally had enough and cornered you one night up in the tree during a patrol you had together. One, he definitely didn't pull the strings for to happen. And ever the one to abide by his orders despite your current dismay, you were now avoiding his gaze whilst you watched your sleeping home below. It was peaceful and calm, but the pain lingered between you two too much to enjoy the moment. He didn't know how to break the deafening silence, and it made him think of backing out on his initial plan... until you surprised him by speaking up first.

"I'm... sorry for avoiding you. I didn't mean for this to become your last resort. I just... didn't want to be a burden anymore." "Wait, wait, wait... who said that you were a burden, I... I should be the one apologizing right now. Because I was wrong about every fucking thing I said to you." The words spilled out in panic at the mere thought of you blaming yourself. He never wanted you to feel like this. It made him feel even worse about himself. This wasn't right. "You're not useless. You do so much for us, for me, and I take it all for granted like the asshole I am! And I fully acknowledge that now... I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. There is no excuse for it." He shook his head in disappointment at himself, wondering if this was it now. He'd understand if you broke up with him now... but instead, you seemed to be in the mood to surprise him alot today.

"Did you... like the food I made you?" He blinked at your question in confusion, yet answered honestly. "Best thing I had all week." "Then I guess I'll forgive you... just don't do that again." Ekko chuckled weakly at your words, relief filling his senses whilst he pulled you close to press a kiss to your head. "Would never dream of it... wanna ditch patrol and fly around town?" You mirrored his sly smile, glad he had the same thing on his mind as you did. "Sure thing. But let's make it a race."

He let you win.

》SEVIKA

She took some time to cool off after your argument and returned later into the night with a clearer mind. Sevika had actually reflected on what you had said to her, and she knew you were ultimately right. She was extremely overprotective and stubborn, two things that didn't mesh well and often ended in her thinking you couldn't take care of yourself. Even if she knew better than to actually believe that.

You were strong, especially mentally. It's what drew her into you to begin with. But with the fall of Silco and a war being on the verge of breaking out against Piltover, she had no choice but to make sure that you never left her sight. And if you did, then you had to be somewhere she knew was safe and away from all the chaos she dealt with daily. It helped her focus and stay calm to know that you're okay. Yet despite how much she cared, she still fucked it all up for herself again.

And now she had to fix it, something she was never good at.

She felt awfully guilty at the sight of the things you've lovingly prepared for her, now laying forgotten and cold on the kitchen counter. She truly didn't deserve someone as kind as you. And yet she considered herself too selfish to let you go.

Slowly approaching the bedroom door, she paused to hear if you were awake or not. Unfortunately, you were, but she only knew this from the faintest sound of your sniffling and sobbing that drifted through the wooden door. Sighing to herself, she knocked once, deciding to just rake things slow and as calmly as possible. You had sustained an injury after all, and her mind was reeling at the thought of it getting worse without any proper care. "What do you want?!" Your weak voice yelled at her, and it made her frown. Yeah, you were definitely beyond pissed.

"I want to talk." Her gruff voice said, and it may have sounded like a demand if the underlying care and worry didn't overshadow it so clearly. Your silence made her initially think you were ignoring her until the door slowly opened and revealed your disheveled form. "... well, go ahead." You muttered, one hand cradling the side of your hip that was clumsily bandaged up by you. You were never good at stuff like that.

"Let me take care of the wound whilst we're at it. Can't have ya dying on me because of an infection." She sighed out before simply dragging you to your shared bed and pulling out your medkit. You didn't protest or complain and let her do as she pleased, whilst you carefully listened to her speak with an unreadable expression.

"Listen. I... get it. I really do. The way I treat you isn't right, and I know you're grown enough to take care of yourself, but... I can't risk losing you too now. It drives me crazy to think about. Even if that ain't much of an excuse, and I get that too." She was never this honest before. Usually, she simply deflected or blamed someone else. But here she was, for once admitting openly to being the problem. "Just... be more careful out there. That's all I ask of you. I won't comment on it otherwise anymore though, unless you're in serious danger. I promise." Finishing the last of her bandaging, she hummed at it now looking much securer. This way, you are sure to recover much faster.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded your head at her words, deciding to give her another chance to prove herself. You understood where she was coming from after all. "Okay, fine. I'll accept your apology... if you help me cook." She grinned at that slightly with a casual shrug. "Fine by me, if I get a taste of your heavenly cooking, sweetheart."

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?

warnings: 18+ mdni, arranged marriage, misunderstandings and just not talking shit out, mentions of cheating, slight angst (with comfort), eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, gojo doesn't really know how to husband for some of it

word count: 10.9K (whoops)

note: part two is up! i really had a lot of fun writing this so reblogs and comments are always appreciated! as always, thank you to @jadeisthirsting for beta reading <3

jjk masterlist

never did you think that you’d be stuck in a marriage to a man who didn’t love you, but there’s a first for everything. 

you should count yourself lucky that he’s not old and bald. he’s pretty. in fact, he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. his eyes are the bluest, bluer than the sky. his hair mirrors the winter snows, and his back ripples with muscles whenever he fights. 

his agility is unlike any other man. he fights swiftly and cleanly, never taking more than a couple minutes to get rid of whatever it was that stood in his way. he’s charming with his words (or so you’ve heard), and he knows how to make somebody swoon if he really wants them to. 

and he seems to despise you.

you had known gojo since you were a child, the two of you running around each other's fields as you chased him with your wooden sword. you remembered watching him in training, wishing him good luck whenever he went on a hunt. you could even remember how he would stutter whenever he tried to talk, something he must have worked on because he never seemed to stutter anymore. 

he was always nice to you, his cheeks rosy whenever you kissed him goodbye. he was kind back then, grinning brightly whenever he saw you. 

but as time grew and you with it, and it was only a matter of years before the two of you went your separate ways. it didn’t help that once he turned thirteen he had to leave for training and fighting in whatever it was that was needed of him, but you had hoped that he would be able to write back. 

you would send him letters whenever you could, it was tradition whenever the two of you were separated for too long to do so. each letter telling him about new experiences and embarrassing things that happened in your life, but he never responded. you liked to send one every week, sometimes including little tokens you thought he might enjoy. but you stopped sending them after the first two years and stopped asking about his whereabouts after three. 

but you were hopeful that when you saw him that night so many months ago, he’d be civil with you. you were nervous, sure, but who could blame you? you had recently gotten news that his time to serve his clan was over and that he was finally back home. it wasn’t as though the two of you had left on bad graces, so you were hopeful that he would at least remember you. but he could barely meet your eyes whenever you tried to catch him from across the room, acting as if you had never existed. 

he looked so different since the last time you had seen him. he was taller than most of the people in the room, his white hair just as bright as it used to be. he had gained muscle mass almost everywhere, and you felt yourself wondering just how much training he had to go through to look this way. you could see him talking to a girl, a smile on his face as he tilted his head to look at her better. you gave him some time to socialize, not wanting to intrude on anything. 

after an hour you decided that it was long enough, and tried to weave your way through the crowd to get to him. you had tried to call out to him, waving to him despite your mother quickly shoving your hand down, saying how improper it was. he heard you and you knew that he was purposely ignoring you, so you began to feel heavy-hearted after a couple of attempts at trying to catch his attention, eventually giving up. 

and now, despite you wanting to, you can’t even blame him for hating you. 

ever since your mother caught you, alone with him, a man you hadn’t seen in so long, she had swiftly and promptly proposed the idea of marriage only a few days later. it was really to save face for the two families, but it helped that this marriage would unify the two clans. 

you were sure he had ladies lined up to marry him, and you weren’t somebody he was actively trying to pursue. you didn’t even know if he was in love with somebody else if he shared a connection with a girl who was surely not you and cursed you for taking that away from him. 

not that it mattered now. 

all you wanted was to reconcile, to catch up on all the things happening in your lives. you wanted to hear all the stories he must have racked up over the years, not for this to happen. all the things he wanted for himself were ripped away because of one night from one simple act of kindness, and so you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him for the way he acted.

you rarely come down for dinner whenever he’s there, but when you do, you feel those eyes turn icy, tracking your every movement till you sit down opposite of him. he doesn’t say much, just mutters a quiet “good evening” and you’re sure he’s only doing it so the maids don’t start to gossip. 

whenever your hand brushes his you feel him snap back, flexing his hand as though your touch burned him. he rarely came by to ask you about how you felt, and so you stopped trying to act kindly towards him if he didn’t want anything to do with it.

any semblance of romance you had dreamed of as a young girl quickly dissipated when you realized your husband wanted nothing to do with you, so you didn’t try to pursue any sort of love, deciding it’d be easier if he just did his part and you did yours so the two clans wouldn’t worry. 

he was always gone, which might be the best for the two of you. when he’s not training new men then he’s gone in a hunt. if he’s not in a hunt then he’s somewhere in his endless home, hiding away. 

you don’t know if he does this for him, for your sake, or for everybody else. 

“did you see your husband this morning?” one of your maids said excitedly as she tugged the undergarments over your raised arm, a gleeful smile on her face as she rambled about something gojo had done. you couldn’t help but return a smile of your own, although it didn’t quite meet your eyes. 

“yes, briefly. he’s busy with having to worry about the feast,” which wasn’t a total lie. you’d seen him hurriedly brush past you, quickly glancing at you as if he had forgotten you were his wife. you felt your chest tighten up with the way he glanced at your hand, and then quickly left. 

it was only a few nights away and you knew that it was the only buzz of news anybody seemed to talk about. unfortunately, for you, it meant having to socialize with other clans. you were fine with that aspect, you’d been doing it since you were young, but this time they had a right to be nosey. you knew there would be endless questions asked about the honeymoon stage of your marriage, to which you had no answer. 

sure, you’d been making up answers to hypothetical questions, but you didn’t know what gojo would be answering with, so you were only praying some of your responses would line up. 

for a night the two of you would have to pretend to be husband and wife, and while the people around you knew you were anything, you knew you had to commit to the role for the sake of you and your family’s dignity. 

but all this worrying isn’t good for your head, you could already feel the pang as you squeezed your eyes to try and get rid of it. you tried to move on from your worries, going to comment on her necklace, it seemed new, but a knock interrupted you. the two of your heads popped up, looking at where the sound came from. 

“come in!” you called out, buttoning up the last bits of your top as you thanked myra. she nodded, bowing as she went to open the door. you could hear her faint footsteps, not bothering to look up as she greeted the person behind. you guessed it was franchesca coming with the fabric samples. 

“sir,” you heard myra say, and your head swirled around, only to see the topic of your conversation make his way into your room, excusing your maid with a swift motion of his hand. she glanced once at you and then to him, ducking her head as she left, closing the door behind her as she left you two alone. 

you felt heat prickle at the back of your neck as he looked at you and then to your room. the two of you slept separately, as per your request the first night. you couldn’t bear the agonizing silence between the two of you, and he obliged. 

he was dressed for sparring. he had a loose-fitting tunic on, and pants that would allow him to move freely and without constraint. it was in moments like these that you were reminded of the fact that gojo was the strongest warrior that any of the clans had seen, that the child who once splurged on sugar in his tea was capable (and has done so before) of taking down entire armies. 

he had matured so much since what you last remembered from him. he no longer acted rashly nor spoke without thinking about what it was he wanted to say. but you still saw him eating sweets with the same fervor he did as a kid, and it never failed to make you smile, hiding it behind your hand so nobody could hear your quiet giggle. 

it had been a while since it was just the two of you, alone, and all you could think about was that night. your cheeks heated up just thinking about it, and it seemed that gojo could tell your discomfort with the way he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he began to speak. 

“good morning,” he started, his eyes darting around, never setting on yours. it was funny if it didn’t cause your heart to hurt irrevocably, at how the strongest warrior in all the land could barely look at his wife. 

if only you knew.

“good morning.” you offered him a quick, disingenuous smile, moving around until you found your vanity, rummaging through your laid-out earrings as you kept your back to him, not trusting your face to give you away if you were to look at him for too long. 

you heard him take in an audible breath, but he continued whatever it was he wanted to say. 

“with the feast coming up, i want to clear some things with you,” you turned around, looping the earrings in as you nodded for him to continue. it was such a shame he was so stunning, effortlessly attractive as the sun caught off his cheekbones, bouncing off of his chest. he rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, and you wondered if being here was just as painfully awkward for him as it was for you. 

“we should act like we’re…” he trailed off and you felt yourself itching to leave, knowing what he meant without having to say it. 

“in love?” you finished and he slowly nodded, gnawing on his lip as you brushed past him, going to find the mirror so you could adjust your jewelry. you could see him fidgeting in the corner, and for once you could see a hint of nervousness and unease on his features. 

and a part of you hurt. you would never admit out loud that you harbored a crush on him for as long as you could remember. it hurt knowing that you acting like you were in love was perhaps the lost genuine form of love you could show. 

“what if they ask about the night we met?” you ask after a couple of seconds, looking up from what you were doing. deep down, you knew somebody was bound to ask. even if it was just your mother who had caught the two of you alone in that garden, the news of it somehow spread (she was always one to talk). 

he scratches his head, shrugging as he eventually settles on an idea.

“just tell them the truth.” 

the truth. 

tell them how he followed you after you had run outside, sick to your stomach after a man, who was as old as your father, had introduced himself as a possible suitor. how gojo, the most ruthless warrior in all the land, had carefully put his hands on your back as you retched, offering you a towel he had fetched from inside to clean yourself up. 

tell them how you hadn’t seen him in years but the first thing you had done was to hug him tightly. how his hands wrapped around your back as though they were the only things keeping you afloat. perhaps they were. 

tell them how he murmured words in your hair to bring you back to reality, his thumb running up and down your arms to calm you down. how it seemed like even though it had been years since you two last saw each other, it felt so right, so normal, to be back in his arms. 

tell them how he had looked at you with such worry, such care, unlike anybody else had looked at you, and you for once felt safe in somebody’s arms. 

tell them how your mother found you two in such a compromising position, with your head nestled in his chest as he tried his very best to soothe your cries. it was humiliating and embarrassing to be caught with a man you had only seen back in your teenage years, and especially so in such a vulnerable position. 

you shake your head, scoffing at the idea, “i’ll just come up with something,” was your answer and he nods along, realizing how the story would be too private to share with people you barely knew.

“and we need a reason for why,” he cleared his throat once again, pink dusting on his cheeks as his eyes dropped to your stomach. your eyes met his in the mirror, and one of your eyebrows raised, “well, you’re not exactly looking like you’re carrying a child at the moment.” 

you quickly looked away, the tension in the room increasing as you moved away from the mirror, doing anything you could to keep your hands occupied. you flushed at the comment, your throat drying up as you glanced at your stomach.

the two of you have barely touched, much less been intimate with each other. you were glad he hadn’t forced the idea onto you, instead, leaving it to you to bring up the topic. you only talked about it, once, the night of the marriage, and then never again. you knew that it would have to happen eventually, but you couldn’t do it right now, not with your state of mind. 

you scrambled to say something. in all honesty, you had been dreading this question. you hadn’t been answering any of the letters your mother sent, and you knew people were expecting to hear the news of a pregnancy. 

“we’ll just say we’ve been so busy and preoccupied with the politics of marriage that we couldn’t… consummate.” you offered and he just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as if this was the biggest inconvenience to him. 

you knew that this marriage was brought upon quickly and before either of you could object to it, but at least you tried to hide it away. if only he hadn’t acted so rashly that night, his hands on your shoulders, eyes bewildered as they racked over your figure. if only he had been more careful, or you were smarter in picking some place to be more concealed, you wouldn’t be put in this position. 

but neither of you was thinking ahead, and here you were. but he was certainly making sure that you knew of his contempt for this arrangement far more than you were. it was irritating, it scratched at your skin and ate away at your mind the more you saw each other.

“look,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, off of the way you were fiddling with the ring he had delicately placed on your hand so many weeks ago, “i can come up with whatever they ask, so just try your best to do the same.” you say, your voice tinged with anger, the ring on your finger acting as an anchor to the depths of the sea with the way it weighed down your movements, feeling your chest swell as he stayed silent, watching you as you opened the door. 

“i don’t-”

“um, i won’t be joining you for dinner, so don’t wait on me…i apologize, i need to work on some things for the feast…have a good day.” you swiftly murmured, shutting him in your own room as you left, your heart thumping erratically in your chest as you almost ran down the hallway. 

you had no idea how you were going to persuade the masses that this marriage was working if you couldn’t even persuade yourself. 

---

the feast of clans came earlier than you expected. 

you found yourself perched at the end of the table, gojo next to you, your stiff bodies mirroring each other as the people around you joyously helped themselves to the vast variety of food offered. 

you could barely touch the meal in front of you, your stomach churning uncomfortably with the sheer number of people that surrounded you. back home, you hated these feasts, opting to leave after a couple of bites and finish the rest of what you could pocket in your room, but here, as the clan leader's wife, you had no such luxury. 

“are you not hungry?” you looked to your side, gojo staring at your plate and then to you, his eyes squinting as he tried to decipher what you were feeling.

“i can’t eat,” you murmured, playing with your utensils as you swallowed thickly, “i don’t do well in large crowds.” 

he nodded once, looking out into the sea of bodies as he inched a little bit closer to you. he was donned in expensive fabrics, although his hair still messily fell all over. the candle that was lit in front of you had different hues of oranges and reds bouncing off of his pale skin, and if you didn’t know any better, the blush on his nose and cheeks could have been from the frigid winds from outside. 

“i’ll have myra save you a plate,” he said, giving you a curt smile as he went back to eating. 

you were momentarily taken aback by his comment, but tried not to show it, going back to fidgeting with your ring as you looked at the sea of people. nobody had thankfully come up to you and bombarded you with questions, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to eventually happen. 

“thank you,” you say, glancing at him and then back to your plate. 

“anything for my wife,” he replies. it’s only for show, you remind yourself, after all, when was the last time he referred to you as such? 

“gojo,” an old man had walked up to your table, his face lined with wrinkles and a beard, dressed in orange as he offered gojo his hand to shake, “i’m glad to see that you finally settled down.”

gojo blushed deeply, trying to offer him a smile as he motioned to you. 

“it’s hard to resist marriage when such a woman offers it.” he says, and you feel your eyes widen as you try to laugh off his statement. 

“yes,” the old man chuckles, eyeing the two of you. he looked familiar, and you were sure you had seen him around these sorts of gatherings before, “it was only a matter of time before it happened. we all knew just how much you liked her back when you were children.”

the two of you sputtered on your coughs, and you felt a little smile grow on your face as gojo did what he could to usher the man away. 

you could tell with the way he shifted uncomfortably in his seat that gojo wasn’t expecting that, and before you could realize what you were doing you found yourself talking. 

“i’m not a fan of feasts.” you quickly said, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them. it’s not like you felt you owed him an explanation, but you said it regardless. 

gojo looked up from his plate, grabbing his cup so he could wash down his bite. 

“any feast?” he asked, and you could feel the way the air shifted. he was glad you brought up a different topic. 

“one’s as big as this,” you twisted your ring back and forth on your finger subconsciously, “i get nervous in big crowds.”

“i remember,” a small smile grew on his face as he thought back to when the two of you were children, “you would hide under the tables and force me to come with you.” 

you chuckled, blood rushing to your ears at the fact that he remembered this about you. it was the bare minimum of what you remembered from him, but you had convinced yourself that he had washed every memory of your last selves from his mind. 

a rush of distant memories came to your head; nights spent under the tables, laughing as you two tried to keep your voices down as you tried to dodge the feet. you could still hear his whispers of staying quiet, trying to sneak out so he could smuggle in some pastries for you to eat.

“the adults scared me; they were always loud and insistent on asking personal questions.”

“like they are now?” he replied back, a tilt in his voice as you nodded feverishly. 

“yes!” you covered your mouth with your hand as you let out a laugh, a genuine one as you tried to look as put together as you could, “i swear, it’s even worse than when we were young. just the other day a wet nurse came to me and told me the best positions to get into when giving birth!” it really was a mortifying moment, your eyes darting all around as the old lady even took it upon herself to demonstrate the movements, but gojo didn’t seem to mind, laughing along with you. his eyes twinkled as they took in your giggly state, years since he had last seen you like this. 

“i feel like i should apologize,” he starts, having to cover his own infectious smile as he ducks down his head in shame, “i had her sent up to your chambers.”

your mouth dropped open in shock, lightly smacking his arm as he grinned at the look on your face.

“to mortify me so that i would never leave?” your thumb moves your ring back and forth and gojo watches you as you do it. 

“you seemed sick at breakfast, but i guess she thought it was a different sort of sickness.” gojo tells you as he cuts off some of his meat, not knowing just how much his words affected you. 

you had forgotten how simple and easy conversations were with gojo. although this was under a guise to fool people, you felt at ease with him, as if you didn’t have to be on guard with your emotions when he was around. 

“do you still want to hide under the table now?” he asked a couple of seconds later, chewing on a potato as you shrugged, looking around before your lips grew into an apologetic smile. 

“…yes,” you admitted bashfully and he smiled at your honest response. 

“if you want to hide, i’ll-”

“satoru!” a booming voice interrupted your endless spiral of thoughts as the two of you glanced upwards at the sound, “it’s been too long!” 

a man with hair as dark as night and a smile wider than any ocean had come up to your table. he was the first one to do so all night, but gojo didn’t seem bothered by it. he seemed to smile, crescents forming around his eyes as he took his friend's hand.

“too long,” he emphasized with a charming grin, motioning to you and then back to the man in front of you as if he suddenly remembered the two of you and never met, “suguru, this is my wife, y/n. y/n, this is one of my oldest friends.” 

you extended your hand outwards and the man, suguru, took it, placing a soft kiss on the back of it as he shot you a playful smile. he wasn’t at the wedding, but then yet again, it was a rather quick one. the only people who had attended were your families. 

“it’s a pleasure to meet you.” he greeted, and you nodded in agreement, sitting back down next to gojo. you felt his long fingers reach for yours, enveloping your hand in his as your heart sputtered at the touch. 

“likewise,” you answered and the man grinned politely before he slightly tilted his head, looking at the two of you sitting next to each other. 

“he’s not bothering you, is he? i know satoru can be fiendish when he wants to be, so call for me and i’ll take care of him.” he teased and you could only smile tightly and laugh along, gojo’s fingers slightly tightening around yours as he moved your hand to rest on his thigh. 

“i can take care of him when he’s fiendish. i just have to take the sugar away, right?” suguru snorted and gojo glared, but it was playful the way he looked at you. 

his hands were warmer than you would have expected. you could feel the indents of calluses on his fingertips, could feel his thumb moving back and forth on your skin in a calming sort of manner. he didn’t look over at you as he did it, playing it off as second nature. 

“i apologize for not having much time to get to know you, but i have something i need to talk to gojo about. would you mind? it will only take a minute?” he asked, and gojo let go of your hand at the time of his friend's voice. you had to control your urge to roll your eyes, shifting in your seat as you motioned for suguru to talk to your husband, watching as he stood from his seat, leaving with the man as they went somewhere a little more secluded. 

you watched as gojo leaned down to hear whatever it was that suguru was whispering in his ear, pulling back with a frown on his face. he snapped something that only caused suguru to reel back, cast a quick glance at you, and then shake his head in clear annoyance. 

you saw gojo look up, his eyes landing on somebody from across the room, and you followed his stare, only to land on a girl. 

she wore a dark yellow tunic and skirt, colors from a neighboring clan. you hadn’t seen her before, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t known. just one look at the men surrounding her and you could pick up on their lovesick expressions. 

she motioned for gojo to come to her with a bend of her finger, slyly brushing her hair out of her face to make it look as though it was nothing, exiting from the dining area and vanishing into one of the halls. 

you looked down in case either of the men glanced over to see if you were staring. your eyes pierced through the meat on your plate, bile rising up your throat. 

you gave yourself some time, counting up to a minute before you looked back to where suguru and gojo were, finding suguru standing alone. you looked at where the girl was and saw a flash of white hair before it disappeared, your heart sinking as you glanced back at suguru, only to find him looking at you. 

you looked back at your plate, picking up a knife and fork as you stabbed the meat. you couldn’t keep anything down but it’s best to pretend.

---

gojo didn’t return until half an hour later, and you refused to talk to him. 

“did anybody bombast you with questions?” he teased, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. he didn’t seem to pick up on your darkened mood as your fingers dug into your dress. 

“i had a woman ask me if you had disappeared with your mistress, but that was it.” you remarked, silence filling the void between the two of you and you realized that all you had thought of him was crumbling down. 

you didn’t care for your image anymore, giving curt answers to any questions somebody had asked. you could feel his stare on the side of your face but you didn’t humor him in looking over, focusing on your plate instead. 

so what if he was seeing somebody else? you would have been naive to think that he wouldn’t wander. the two of you barely touched each other. 

once all the guests had left over the course of the following days, you did everything you could to steer away from gojo. 

you no longer came down for breakfast or dinner, choosing to eat in your own quarters. if he wanted to have his own secrets, he could do whatever he pleased. 

though you rarely saw suguru after the feast, he did try to talk to you the morning after it took place. he cornered you after you had left from breakfast, his once playful demeanor turned serious as you tried your best to end the conversation. 

“what you saw last night-”

“is none of my business,” you finished, raising your hand as you cut him off, “if gojo has his own private matters to deal with, i’m indifferent to them all.” 

“you know that’s not what it was.” his hand hovered over your arm, careful not to touch you but not wanting you to leave either. 

“i ruined his life, didn’t i?” you tilted your head a bit in questioning. after all, that’s all you could hear from the women who gossiped as they folded the laundry, or behind the hands of the girls who watched you and gojo interact and the mothers who wanted their daughters to be set up with him only sneered at you from across the tables. 

“you…where’d you get that from?” his brows scrunched together in confusion as you scoffed, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in the corner of your eyes at the sting of your own words. 

“i can see it on his face. if gojo wants to have his own affairs, he can have them. it’s not like we’re in love. hopefully, i find my own way out so that the two of us look happier and this marriage looks somewhat presentable to the public.” 

you didn’t want to see the look on his face, but you’re sure he reported this all back to gojo because he didn’t look at you once after it. 

you heard from a maid a week later that he was gone for another meeting with a clan, a southern one from what you picked up, and that you should probably go and wish him some luck. 

leading up to the night of his departure you anxiously paced around your room, your feet padding on the floor as your nightgown swished behind you. 

you hadn’t talked to gojo at all that day, and purposefully so. 

it was petty, you know it was, to not want to see him, but a part of you still aches when you look back on that night. at how he didn’t explain where he was even after you asked, at how it was suguru he had sent to fix his dirty work for him. 

“y/n?” a muffled voice came from outside your door. 

your head shot up at the familiar sound, quietly dragging yourself out from your bed as you grabbed the candle, hovering on the other side as you waited for him to say something else. 

“are you awake?” you heard a soft thud from his side, almost as if his head or arm had hit the door. 

you didn’t answer, still, waiting. 

“i’m leaving tomorrow and i wanted to see you before i left.” your heart skipped at his words, careful not to make a sound as you near the door. 

“if you’re sleeping i won’t bother you anymore but if you’re not,” you could hear the old stutter he had coming back, his words meshing together as he tried to regain control, “and you’re choosing to stay quiet, i…” he sighed, his forehead thumping down as he rested it on the door, “i wanted to apologize for the feast. i shouldn’t have left you alone, and if you’d open the door, i would explain why…” he could see the flicker of the candle from underneath the crack, and saw the way it blew away, darkness following suit. 

you walked back to your bed, turning your back to the door as you set the candle down on your table. 

“goodnight,” his voice was quieter than before, and you felt guilty, but pushed the bitter feeling down.

a couple of seconds later you heard him let out a sigh of defeat, his footsteps leading away from your bedroom as you curled into yourself, hoping you would let your heart stop taking control of what your head should be doing. 

---

gojo didn’t return for a while, and you grew more impatient by the day. 

it normally took him and his men a week at maximum, and once two had passed, you felt yourself growing uneasy. 

you tried to act as passive as you could, but even myra could pick up on your growing apprehension. you have never voiced your worries over your husband before, but she knew this wasn’t like any other time. 

when you went to bed, the only thing you could dream about was that night, your brain re-running the images as you tossed and turned. 

“are you alright?” he asked, his hands on your elbows as you could barely speak, your blurry vision impairing your sight. you could only see a mop of white in the darkness, your stomach betraying you as you tried to keep the sick down. 

“i don’t feel too good,” you mumbled, trying to put some distance between the two of you as you pushed him away, only to feel him coming closer as he placed a hand on your forehead and then to your cheeks. 

“you’re burning up,” he muttered under his breath, guiding you gently so that you wouldn’t trip over your feet. 

“i’m sorry, you can go back inside, i don’t want to keep you out here.” you were slurring your words as you tried not to throw up on him. you wiped at your eyes so that you could see him better, only to reel back in utter shock to see the face of your childhood friend frowning down at you. 

your mouth formed in the shape of his name, going to say something else, before you hunched over, feeling his strong hands pat your back and keep the hair out of your face as you felt your world tilt on its axis. 

you ate your dinner at the table, eyeing his empty seat as you tried to shove his last night out of your mind. you shouldn’t feel this way, especially about a man who feels nothing towards you, but your little heart was churning in its confines the more you let yourself think about it.

sitting in the same spot where the feast took place only brought back the venomous taste in your mouth, and so you pretended that you were back home, eating somewhere without the worry of your life weighing you down like a thousand weights on your shoulders. 

myra tried her best to distract you, but she could see the distant look in your eyes, how your voice never seemed too genuine. she began to worry for you, but it seemed like your mind was fixed on one thing. 

until you found yourself pacing around your room, just like you were the night you last heard of him, playing with the ring on your finger as the moon carded through your window. 

“my lady,” you heard myra through the door, her voice shaky and a bit more on edge than usual, “there’s-” but before she could finish it slammed open, revealing the man you’d been biting your nails over, standing in the flesh.

his eyes were a dark blue, squinted as they looked right through you. his chest heaved as he looked like he was trying to catch his breath. you could see the streaks of blood that lined his usually clean clothes, the red that stained his cheeks and jaw. 

he looked feral, and it was throwing you off balance. 

“out.” he snapped at myra, and before you could scold him for his tone she fled, the door shutting roughly behind her. 

the two of you could only stare at each other. you didn’t know what to think after weeks of uselessly worrying over him, not knowing about his well-being, to see him here, in front of you, but looking different than he ever had. 

“are you alright?” 

you could barely get it out, the works sticking on your tongue as you took a tentative step forward, not knowing what to do with his state of being. 

he eyed the blood on his shirt, wiping at his cheeks as if he had forgotten it was there. he didn’t look too dirty, less dirty than one would expect from a five week endeavor through the woods, but he didn’t look too good either. 

“you were awake.” is all he says, his chest still moving up and down as though he couldn’t breathe properly. 

“that night i came by, you were awake. i saw your candle, i heard your footsteps.” he says this as though it’s fighting its way out of his mouth as if it’s all he could think about to tell you. 

“i,” you pretend that you don’t care, shrugging, “i wasn’t up to talk.” 

“you were with suguru.” he snaps, his tone shocking you, and he steps back as if he had shocked himself. he jammed his palms into his eyes, tilting his head upwards before he looked back at you. 

“for five weeks you were all i could think about. i wanted to come back, i wanted to tell you what i felt but we kept running into issues with other tribes and clans.” 

“what could you possibly think about that occupied your mind for five weeks?” you so desperately wanted your voice to come out strong but it sounded weak, as though you were hanging off of his every syllable. 

“you had told suguru that you were going to find your…own way out,” he took a step forward, and here you could see the scratches on his chest, the cuts on his arms, “i was praying to every god there was that you hadn’t found somebody in these past weeks, that you hadn’t…”

you could barely believe his words, not knowing if you should feel offended, shocked, worried, or a mix of all those three. 

“what business would it be to you if i did?” you hate that this was the response you settled on. hurt flashed across his face but he tried to regain his composure. 

“you are my wife-”

“and you are my husband!” you snapped and watched as he was momentarily taken aback by your outburst, but you continued your nose flaring, “you cannot argue with me on this when you left with some girl in the middle of our feast!” you felt all your emotions finally pouring out and you had no control over them, “everybody was talking about it, everybody was looking at me in pity!” your voice cracked, tears poking at your eyes as you pointed an accusatory finger at him. 

gojo looked down, running a hand through his hair as he pointed a finger back. 

“if you had let me explain myself, you would have known that she was trying to do what you thought she was. i left as quickly as i could but you would barely look at me!” you wanted to rip your hair out, cursing yourself for ever feeling any sort of worry for this man. 

“i know that this marriage was the last thing you wanted but at least you could play the part of a husband! you didn’t send a single note, anything to tell us that you were okay, that you were alive!” you heaved, fidgeting with your ring as you wiped at your cheeks, “and you come back here accusing me of adultery? all everybody could talk about was the fact that you were warming somebody else’s bed! they said a meeting never takes this long unless something…somebody else comes up.” your voice wobbles at the end, and you find yourself furiously rubbing your tears away, hiding your sniffing as though that would do anything.  

he paused upon seeing you cry, his face falling as he tried to step forward but you angled yourself away from him, hoping he’d get the hint. 

he wanted to hold you, to tell you that all the rumors you were hearing were false and that the only room he had left in his heart was for you. but he couldn’t blame you for feeling or thinking this way. hell, he was so sure that he’d open the door to find another man comforting you that he didn’t even stop to consider what must have been going through your head all these weeks. 

“one of the clans tried to attack us, and we weren’t ready for it. that is why we took so long.” 

you sniffle again, not caring for his explanation although it did soothe a part of your past self. 

“you could have at least sent a letter telling me what happened,” you fidget with your ring, your thumb running over the diamond, “everybody asked me questions that i should have had answers to, but i had no idea where you were or what you were doing…” he nods, his lips pressed into a thin line as he agreed with you. 

“you're right,” his voice was thick with emotion, the words slurring in his mouth as he found himself anchored in place, not knowing what to do. but you were rambling, your thoughts going on and on and you couldn’t stop yourself. 

“…but i know you don’t like letters, so the least you could have done was send a parchment saying i’m alive or something like that.” you rub at your nose again, feeling like all the weeks of worry we’re coming to a standpoint. 

he looked confused now, if anything, and scratched at his jaw. 

“what do you mean?” 

you scoff at the audacity, rolling your eyes as you feel anger prickle at your skin. 

“you never once responded to any of my letters. in my eyes, that must mean you have some sort-”

“letters? what letters?” 

you glance at him, taking in his shaking form. 

“come on gojo,” you feel embarrassed as he urges you to speak, having to spell it out for him, his eyes pleading with you to continue, “the ones from when you left for training.”

his mouth opens and then closes, looks at the ground and then back up to you as he shakes his head. you could hear your fireplace crackling in the background. the only sounds circling the room were the pops of ember and your breathing. 

“i…” he feels like there’s cotton in his mouth, hoping that you’re lying, “i never got any letters.” 

the fire crackled once again and you could almost hear a pin drop as you shook your head vehemently at his statement. 

“n-no, no you did. i wrote to you every week, i sent one every week for two years and you never responded and my mother said that you must have forgotten about me…” and you trail off, the tears in your eyes stoning as he furiously wipes at his own eyes, and for the first time since you had seen him fall down when he was a kid, you saw his own tears staining his cheeks. 

“nobody gave me your letters. i thought that you,” he takes a deep breath, tongue poking inside his cheek as he tried to control himself, “i thought that you didn’t care for me anymore.” 

you hug your midsection, your emotions running wild at his words. 

“i was under the impression that you hated me.” you admit, and he looks as though you stabbed him through the heart. if only others could see the powerful warrior now, stripped bare to his conscience and all he could think about was you. 

“why…why would you think such a thing?” you two inch closer without knowing it, longing to touch each other, wanting to know that the other was really there and that this wasn’t a figment of your imaginations. 

“gojo, you could barely looked at me that night at the gala and now it seems as though you, well, look at you - you’re flushed!” you’re grasping at straws, motioning towards his face,  twinged with pink as you rub at your nose, “you seem angry whenever i am near-” 

“the only person i am angry at is myself.” gojo whispers, but his voice echoed around the expanse of your skull. 

“yes, i’m aware,” you feel cold despite the fire in the corner, your tone carrying an air of know as you scorn, “i know the last thing you expected by comforting me was a marriage but-” 

“you think i am angry because i married you?” he was moving closer, his hands shaking, his eyes wet. you could see the ring on his finger glow in the dim light of the fireplace, how it shined brighter than any of the night skies, “the only good thing that has happened to me these last few months was being able to introduce myself as your husband. i know that i stripped you bare of any love you may have had for any other man, but call me selfish for feeling glad that i did.” 

you could barely focus on what was happening, his words sinking deep into your skin, going to your bones. 

“i told myself that you had forgotten about me those years i left. when i saw you that night i was so sure you had come with the intention of finding a suitor that i didn’t want to distract you, but then i saw that man come up to you…” and he couldn’t finish, choking on his words as he stuttered, and you saw a glimpse of the boy you had fallen in love with so long ago. 

“and i followed you out. if i knew that simply being alone with you would have gotten me married to you then i would have cornered you in a closet the moment i saw you enter the dining hall.” 

a tear rolls down your chin, splattering on the ground beneath you as you struggle to make sense of what he was saying. it felt as though the months of being married to him were weeks spent pacing around your own rooms, thinking the same worried thoughts, and not having the strength to confront each other about it. 

“you…you don’t hate me?” your voice is timid, almost not believing yourself as the statement tumbled out. gojo had the audacity to laugh a bit, shaking his head as strands of his hair fell into his face. 

“my every waking moment is spent thinking of you. when i was in training, you were all i could dream about, hoping that when i’d come home i could finally have you to myself. 

“you have control over my emotions, my mind, my soul, and i cursed myself for taking away your options for a husband, but the only thing i’ve wanted to do these past few weeks was to hold you in my arms. to tell you just how deeply i yearn for your love back.” 

he wiped at his cheeks, glistening in the faint light. he looked angelic, despite the grime and blood that decorated his clothing. you didn’t want to think about the men he had killed just to come back, to come back to you, and the thought of ever losing him hurt you more than when you spent nights wondering why he never responded to any of your letters. 

you couldn’t stop your feet from leading you toward him, and you could only watch as he met you in the middle, catching you with all his strength, holding you as if you weighed nothing, and it only took a few seconds before your lips collided. 

it was rushed, and messy as you felt his hands holding you as if you carried the weight of the universe. your teeth clashed, your tears staining each other's skin as your hands gripped at his hair, using it for leverage as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, enjoying the whimper that escaped your lips when he nipped at yours. 

it was what years of longing and desperation felt like. how it felt like you two just molded into each other as if your bodies were cut out with the other in mind. you felt like your heart was about to stop beating, and you knew gojo felt the same with the way he’d whine against your lips, wanting you more than you could have ever imagined. 

“we’ve been stupid people, haven’t we?” you whispered as you pulled away, trying to catch your breath as he smiled against you. if only you knew just how much he’d been wanting to kiss you like this, to see your swollen lips as you looked at him from beneath your eyelashes. you were his venus, his only saving grace, and he could only vex himself for ever making you feel anything but love. 

“very, “ he pressed a kiss to the corner of your eyes, “very,” to your nose, “stupid,” his lips were on your cheeks, feeling like he was breathing in new air at the sound of your laughter, “people.” he pressed his lips to yours again, cherishing in the way you whined at the harshness. 

he had spent months convincing himself that you no longer cared for him. weeks of perilous training to only come back to a bed and dream of a girl who didn’t share his emotions when in reality you did. he wants to track down the letters you had sent him, to read every word carefully, as if each sentence carried its own riddle inside of it. he wanted to apologize for never having the honor of experiencing your skilled penmanship, for leading you to believe that he had simply forgotten about you. 

“gojo,” your fingers curl in his tunic, your heat transferring, trying to be rational in such an irrational state of being, “you’re bleeding, i should call for the doctor.” he didn’t stop kissing your face, moving to your jaw as he smiled hearing you shudder. 

“it’s not my blood,” he murmured and you wanted to smack him for how cocky he sounded, “and don’t call me gojo.” he nipped at your lips again. 

“husband?” you found yourself smiling at the title, but he shook his head. you saw how he was trying to hide his own grin. 

“sire?” you tested it out teasingly, hating how it sounded. he seemed to agree with the way he grimaced at the name. 

“my lord?” he wanted to bottle up your laughter forever, knowing he could get drunk off of the sound. his nose nudged up at your jaw, pressing wet kisses wherever he could. 

“hmm, what about my liege?” you're curling a strand of his hair around your fingers letting him settle you down on your vanity as you spread your legs so he could slot between them. 

“my men call me that.” he says, cringing as it falls off your mouth. you pretend to think, not knowing how you were able to live without this banter for as long as you did. 

“satoru?” you felt breathless saying it after so long. but he still didn’t seem to find it satisfactory enough, a pout on his lips as he wanted you to find a better one. 

“close, but only when you’re angry with me.” you tuck that information in the back of your mind for if you ever need to scold him, your cheeks flushed as he interlocks his fingers through yours. 

“‘toru…?” his lips broke into a giddy smile, and you had to control yourself as he swooped back in for a kiss. his eyes were so much softer when he laughed, the kind ones you fell in love with so many nights ago. 

“there it is,” his voice was husky, raw as your fingers gripped at the baby hairs at his nape. he was taking your air away with him and you couldn’t find it in yourself to fight back for it. 

“i forgot how cheeky you can be,” you bite your lip to keep the moans inside, feeling feverish as his tongue ran over his love marks, not knowing what to do yourself as you scrambled to grab onto something to keep you afloat.

“you have no idea how much self-control it’s taken not to ravage you,” his breath is hot on your skin, and he’s tugging at your shirt, fingers slightly brushing upon your breasts, “every night you’d come down for dinner i wanted something different to eat.”

“stoppp,” you mewled, not used to this. he chuckles as his slender fingers work to untie the knot keeping you together, tugging at the string until it falls, revealing your naked chest, heaving as the fabric pooled at your hips. 

you wanted to cover yourself up under his heavy gaze, to take the fabric and hide, but you felt pierced by his stare. his eyes darted to yours as if checking to see if you were okay. when you gave him a timid nod, it seemed as though it prompted him to finally move. 

his fingers were gentle as they ran across your waist, large as they covered the soft of your stomach, eager as they went upwards. he looked like he was crazed and starved, as if you were his last meal and he couldn’t wait for the sweetness death would give. 

your breath stuttered as his fingers found your mounds, rubbing a soothing thumb over your nipples as his pupils grew. he was eager as he flicked them over and over, a cheshire grin growing as they hardened under his touch. 

“you’re perfect,” he murmured, dropping down so he could suckle at your tits, his spit shining in the light of the fire, and you tilted your head back, soft moans escaping as his tongue drew circles around your buds. 

“f-fuck, ‘toru, that’s,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, his second hand coming to cup your other tit, not wanting to leave her unattended as he sucked and bruised, wanting to forever leave his mark on your untainted skin. 

“good?” he’s so cocky, and you want to smack the smug smirk off his devilishly handsome face. 

his knee is purposefully rubbing against your clothed clit, and you feel yourself subconsciously rubbing yourself against it. you hope that he can’t feel how drenched you are from him just sucking your tits, but he pinches you, pressing his tongue flat against your skin as he looks up through his lashes.

“horny from just me touching you?” he’s teasing you, it’s so painful the way you want, need him like oxygen. you tug on his hair roughly, bringing his spit-soaked lips back to yours as you bite down on his lower one, enjoying the groan you draw out from him. 

“don’t be mean ‘toru,” you taunt, and you feel him melt in your fingers, nodding to your request as he lowers himself down. 

he presses wet kisses down your torso, stopping just above your hips, his fingers hooking along the rim of your underwear, being careful and slow in his movements as he waits for any objections, making sure you’re okay with this. 

but you were in your own world, hitching your leg over his shoulders, drawing him in closer to you, sweat dotting your forehead as he licks a stripe over the cotton on your pussy, smiling to himself at the taste of you. 

you were so sweet, sweeter than any desert he’d indulge himself on. he was sure that once he had a taste of you he’d be able to repent, to go before any god, and to tell them that you were his religion.

he had spent countless nights, tossing and turning in his bed, the only thing putting him to sleep being the idea of coming home to you. running after you that night was him running home to you, regardless of where you were. he was glad he got your hand in marriage, but if he had to, he’d wait another ten years just to hold you in his arms again.

he peels your underwear off, a string of your arousal connecting to it, and he tucks it in his pants, for safekeeping. 

“you’re going to be the death of me.” he says against your heat, his nose rubbing against your clit as your eyes wring shut in pleasure. his hands grip your thighs, making sure you stay in place as he kitten licks around where you need him the most. 

“don’t let…don’t let any of your enemies hear,” your voice comes out in bits, your hand resting on the back of his head as your leg tightens around him, “don’t want them to come after me or something.” 

he snorts, pinching your thighs as if anybody could come within a ten feet radius of you without losing an eye. 

his lips come closer to where you desperately want him, a finger prodding at your tight entrance, his tongue finding your clit as he begins to suck. 

it’s all too much, the sensations far better than your own fingers have ever proved to be. 

his fingers are skilled, long enough that they reach deep within you. he sinks one fully in, your walls clamping around him as he continues sucking your clit, his teeth grazing it every so often, making your head thump against the wall. 

“talk to me, how do you feel?” his mouth discontented from your bud and you whine at the loss. he sinks in another finger to make up for it, but he doesn’t move them, waiting for your response. 

“‘s good,” one of your hands is fisting your discarded robe, trying to hold onto your senses as you desperately nod, “don’t stop ‘toru, please,” and he obliges, loving the sounds of your begging, but loving the sound of your pleasures more. 

his fingers stretch you open and you welcome the sting, your nails digging into him as you long for more. 

he switches his mouth with his hand every now and then, his tongue taking the place of his fingers as it licks at you, groaning at your taste as he eats you out with his entire being, his chin shining with your essence and his spit as his thumb rubs furiously at your clit. 

“mmhhh, just like that, fuck!” you’ve never heard your voice at this pitch, never knew it was possible to feel this way. his other hand reaches up to flick at your nipple, the extra sensation making white dot around your vision. 

you feel yourself getting closer to the sweet release, feel your wall clamp around him even tighter as that knot in your stomach builds to a crescendo. 

“come on, let go f’me, know you want to, know you can.” he spurs you on, his fingers unrelenting as they piston in and out of you, reaching that gummy spot that makes you go dumb.

“fuck, ‘toru, m’gonna, m’gonna come!” you cry out and you’re sure anybody walking past you could hear the debauchery. your thighs were starting to shake and you felt it all go black as you reached your high, your orgasm washing over you unlike anything you’ve ever felt. 

you creamed around his fingers, gushing around him as you wailed out, tears dotting your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling. you squeezed around him, wanting to never lose what this felt like, trying to catch your breath as his mouth never stopped sucking at your nub before he was sure your climax was over. 

when he finally pulled away the only thing that could be heard was the two of you, trying to come back down as stupid smiles made their way onto each of your faces. 

he was boyishly charming as he stood in front of you, licking yourself off of his fingers as he grinned at the taste. you couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed after having him just between your legs, but you still felt a heat blossom in your chest. 

“so…” you awkwardly start, sweat dripping down your face from just how hot the room had suddenly gotten as you avert your gaze, “what now?” 

he shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact that his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his chest. you let him pick you off of the vanity and tucked you safely away into his chest as he led you to your bed, gently setting you down in your mountain of pillows and blankets as you felt sleep etch away at you. 

“i’m going to clean you up,” he pressed a kiss to your hair, smiling at the way you giddy smiled at whatever he did, a dopey grin on your face as your hand searched for his, interlocking you fingers with his as if you didn’t want to watch him go, “if you let me.” 

you yawn, your head tilting as he sat down at the edge of your bed, still not letting go of your hand as your fingers run through the soft pelts beneath you. 

“and what about you?” your chin points the obvious hard-on growing in his pants. he looks down as if suddenly realizing, and he plays it off by looking back up to you with a wink. you felt your mouth going dry at the size of it, not knowing if you could even be able to take something as big as that. 

“for another day,” he promises, and you’re sure he’s not going to forget it. not like you want him to.

“and then?” 

your question lingers in the air. you don’t want to wake up to him acting like this never happened, as if your feelings were only a figment of your wildest dreams. but his eyes hold onto yours, never letting go as he brushes some strays away from your face. 

“and then i get a bigger bed for my room because there’s no way i’m letting you sleep here alone after this.” his thumb runs along the palm of your hand, his fingers tracing patterns into the soft of your legs. 

“and then?” 

“and then you tell me all the things i missed out on when i was gone. i’ll tell you about the time suguru shaved my head, and you’ll tell me about anything on your mind.” 

“what if i run out of things to say?” sleep is overtaking your voice, and you’re already nodding off, not even truly knowing what you were asking. 

“then i’ll make up stories so that you’re not bored.” he finds a clean towel, soaking it in water from a nearby pitcher as he drags it slowly across your body, as if your fragile and made of porcelain. 

“how do i know you’re not a dream? you might just be,” you yawn, rubbing at your eyes as your finger traces his ring, “you might just be my own mind tricking me.” your eyes are shutting, but the teasing smile on your face never leaves. 

“because a dream wouldn’t hide under a table with you if you asked.” he whispers, kissing your lips with a soft peck as he pulls the blanket over you, letting you sleep into a slumber as he crawls in next to you, holding you to his chest just as he did that night, just as he will every night from now on, and just as he longed for those nights he wished you next to him.

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎

— sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader

PART ONE 4.9k words

short summary. in which your heartbreak over mikey pulls you into the dangerous and irresistible orbit of Bonten's Number Two, Haruchiyo Sanzu. warnings. sanzu haruchiyo is his own warning, graphic violence, substance abuse, toxic/manipulative relationships, explicit sexual content, depression & self-destructive behaviour, strong language. tags. female reader insert, bonten au, tsundere!sanzu, ex-boyfriend!mikey, angst with a happy ending, slow burn, eventual smut, heavy pining/yearning.

masterlist

Manjiro Sano once promised you forever. He'd said it so easily back then, like it was a given, something as natural as breathing. You were fifteen, standing by the riverbank after another reckless night, his blonde hair glowing under the streetlights. He had to tilt his head up to meet your eyes then, his expression so open, so sure.

"It's you and me, always."

Now, nearly ten years later, that memory feels like a lifeline in the middle of a storm. You hold onto it so tightly that your knuckles turn white. It's the only thing keeping you grounded as you stand in the shadowed corner of a chapel, watching him slip a ring onto another woman's finger.

The bride is stunning, of course. Her white gown flows around her like something out of a dream, her face set in a serene mask of duty. And Manjiro—Mikey—he looks... distant. Like he's not even there, going through the motions, his face unreadable, hollow. It's a mask you've seen him wear too many times now, a defense mechanism, something to protect the broken parts of him he never lets anyone see.

You sip your wine slowly, the bitter taste doing little to mask the bile rising in your throat. A strange mixture of dark satisfaction and aching sadness twists inside you, an uncomfortable knot of emotions you can't quite unravel. 

He doesn't love her, you remind yourself. He's still yours. He promised.

But the truth is, the wine does little to dull the sharp edge of betrayal. The ceremony feels like a bad dream, one you can't wake up from. 

It's a sham. Just a business arrangement, nothing more. A duty to his late brother Shinichiro, who made a deal with her family long ago, a deal Mikey feels bound to honor. You respect that, you always have. His loyalty is part of what made you fall for him all those years ago.

But it still feels like a knife in your chest, twisted with every vow spoken. You won't question it though. You can't. Because questioning it would mean questioning Shin's memory, and that's something you'll never do. Still, the pain lingers, like a bruise you can't stop pressing on.

As the ceremony ends and the couple walks down the aisle, Mikey's eyes meet yours, even from across the room. For a brief moment, his lips curve into that familiar soft smile, the one that's always been just for you, full of unspoken words and old promises. It's enough to settle your nerves, if only slightly. 

He's still yours, you remind yourself again. This doesn't change anything.

The guests start to shuffle toward the reception hall, but you hang back, feeling the taste of the wine and the weight of the day pressing down on you. The laughter and chatter fades as you step into a quieter hallway, seeking a moment of solitude, a reprieve from the overwhelming noise of celebration.

But you're not alone. A figure leans against the far wall, tall and lean, with faded pink hair that you'd recognize anywhere.

Haruchiyo Sanzu.

Of course, he'd be here. Even though no one from Bonten was supposed to attend, you should've known Sanzu would show up, disregarding protocol like he always does. He's dressed in one of his garish purple suits, the cigarette in his hand burning slowly as he takes a long drag, his katana resting lazily against the wall next to him. The sight of it makes you roll your eyes despite the situation. How he manages to carry that damn thing everywhere without someone calling the cops on him is beyond you.

He doesn't even look at you as you approach, though you know he's aware of your presence. Sanzu's always like that—aloof, unreadable, like he's waiting for something but never telling you what.

Your heels click against the marble floor, the sound too loud in the silence, as you stop in front of him. You cross your arms, defensive. 

You've never liked him. Not since the beginning. And he's never made an effort to hide the fact that he feels the same way about you. His disdain has been obvious for years now—cutting comments, backhanded remarks. Always just subtle enough to avoid Mikey's wrath.

"You shouldn't be here, Number Two," you say, your voice sharp, cutting through the haze of tension.

Sanzu exhales a slow stream of smoke, not bothering to meet your gaze as he taps the ash onto the floor, a flick of his wrist that seems deliberate in its carelessness. 

"Neither should you," he replies, voice lazy, eyes flickering toward you briefly before he adds, with a smirk, "Mistress."

The word lands like a punch to the gut. You stiffen, your chest tightening as anger flares hot and fast inside you. You want to snap back, to tell him to fuck off, but you hold it in, forcing yourself to stay composed.

Sanzu's teal eyes slide back to you, and there's a gleam in them that you hate—a predatory gleam, like he's enjoying this far too much. He tilts his head, studying you like you're something amusing, something to poke and prod until it breaks.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" His voice is smooth, laced with mockery. "You know, it's almost cute. The way you're still holding out hope. Like he's going to drop everything and come running back to you."

Your jaw clenches, but you don't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. You've dealt with Sanzu long enough to know better than to let him get under your skin. He feeds off that kind of thing, turns it into a weapon.

"Shut up," you bite out, your voice low, controlled. "You don't know a damn thing about us."

That earns you a smirk, his scarred lips curling into something cold and twisted. "Don't I?" He takes another drag of his cigarette, exhaling slowly as if savoring the moment. 

"I know enough. I know he's up there, at the altar, with his wife, while you're out here clinging to whatever scraps he throws you."

You feel your fists tighten at your sides, nails biting into your palms. The urge to slap that smug look off his face is overwhelming, but you know better. You've learned that lesson the hard way. Sanzu isn't just annoying—he's dangerous. And he wouldn't hesitate to turn this entire ceremony into a disaster just to prove a point.

"Fuck you," you snap, barely keeping your voice steady.

Sanzu's smile fades, replaced by something colder, something far more dangerous. His eyes narrow, and for a brief moment, you wonder if you've pushed him too far. But then he chuckles, low and dark, like he's enjoying the tension between you.

"Feisty today, huh?" His voice is almost amused, but there's an edge to it, a warning. "You're out here sulking while your beloved plays house. Maybe that fairy tale you're clinging to doesn't mean shit anymore."

You feel your heart hammering in your chest, a mix of anger and something you can't quite place. It's the truth in his words that stings the most, the haunting possibility that he could be be right.

"At least I'm not the one standing out here with a stupid katana looking like a fucking fool," you shoot back, your voice sharp.

Sanzu's eyes flash, but instead of responding, he steps forward, closing the distance between you in an instant. His presence is suffocating, too close, too intense. You feel your pulse quicken, the air between you crackled with unspoken danger.

"Maybe," he murmurs, his voice low, almost a growl. "But you're not untouchable. Sooner or later, even Mikey won't be able to protect you. Then what?"

His words hang in the air like a threat, and for the first time, a shiver of uncertainty runs through you. You meet his gaze, refusing to show fear, but something about the way he's looking at you now—cold, calculating—makes your stomach churn.

You don't answer. Instead, you turn and walk away, your heels echoing in the empty hallway. But Sanzu's words linger, like a dark cloud that follows you, heavy and inescapable. You push them down, focusing on the only thing that matters: Mikey's promise.

But deep down, you wonder if Sanzu's right. And that thought, more than anything, terrifies you.

Manjiro Sano keeps his promises. At least, that's what you've always believed. He said it with conviction when you were fifteen, when his bright blonde hair caught the sunlight and his eyes reflected an unwavering certainty. His promises became your lifeline, a thread that tethered you to him, through the chaos of Tokyo Manji, through Bonten, through all the things that should have torn you apart. You never doubted him.

But now, with a ring on another woman's finger, that belief feels less like truth and more like denial. 

You lie beside him, his arms wrapped loosely around you, his breath steady against your skin. In the quiet darkness, you try to convince yourself that this—you—is still his reality. Not the woman he married out of obligation. Not the business empire he's running. But you, the one he promised forever. The one he swore to love no matter what. 

But there's something cold in his touch tonight. Not the soft warmth you used to know, but a distant, mechanical tenderness. His fingers trace absent patterns on your skin, but they feel foreign now, like they're just going through the motions. He's here, physically, but his mind is far away, lost in a place you can't reach.

"Did something happen?" you ask, keeping your voice light, even as anxiety twists in your stomach. 

He's staring at the ceiling, eyes vacant, as if the weight of the world is pressing down on his chest. The silence is thick, heavy, a barrier between you that wasn't there before. You wish he'd tell you. You wish he'd break through that wall and let you in, but he never does. Not anymore.

He shifts slightly, his eyes meeting yours for just a second. "What do you mean, love?" His voice is soft, casual, but there's something missing. Something that used to be there—a spark, a fire that you could always count on. Now, it's just... hollow.

"You seem distracted," you murmur, choosing your words carefully, even though your heart is screaming to ask more.

Mikey sighs, his chest rising and falling beneath you. He pulls you closer, but the embrace feels almost... polite. Like he's afraid to hold on too tightly. You want to shake him, to tell him to stop being so careful. To hold you like he used to—like he was afraid of losing you. But instead, he just holds you the way someone holds a fragile thing.

"Yeah," he admits, his voice quieter now, as though he's confessing something he doesn't want to. "It's just Bonten stuff."

And that's it. The conversation ends. Your heart clenches at the emptiness of his explanation, at how easily he can sweep your concerns under the rug. 

You know Bonten is complicated—dangerous even—but you've always been kept at a distance from that side of his world. He's never let you close enough to see the true depth of what he's carrying. You've respected his boundaries, trusted him, but now you wonder if that distance is starting to destroy you.

"Oh." The word leaves your lips, but it feels small, insignificant.

The silence returns, thicker than before, wrapping itself around both of you like a suffocating shroud. You stare at him, at the man you once thought you knew so completely, and wonder when he became a stranger.

You want to reach out, to bridge the gap, but fear holds you back. There's a fragility in the air tonight, something that makes you hesitate. If you push too hard, if you ask for too much, you're afraid the entire thing will shatter. Maybe it already has. Maybe that's why his touch feels different now, why his kisses lack the urgency they once had.

You long for the Mikey who would stay up with you until dawn, laughing, his arms tight around you as if you were his whole world. You miss the nights when he couldn't keep his hands off you, when his love felt raw and reckless, a fire that burned brighter than anything else. Now, it's all ashes.

"You don't have to carry it all alone," you whisper, hoping that your words might reach him, might bring him back from wherever he's gone. "I can help. You don't always have to protect me from it."

He doesn't respond right away. For a long moment, there's only the sound of his breathing, deep and rhythmic. When he finally speaks, his voice is distant, almost resigned.

"I know."

But he doesn't mean it. You can hear it in the way he says it—like it's just something he's supposed to say, not something he believes. His walls are still up, and you're on the outside, no matter how close you are in this bed, no matter how many nights you spend together.

You press your cheek against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Once, that sound would have comforted you. Now, it only makes you feel more alone. Even when he's with you, he's somewhere else. And the space between you grows wider every day.

"Mikey..." you try again, but your voice falters. 

You want to tell him you're scared. That you're afraid you're losing him, that this marriage is pulling him further away from you than you can bear. But the words won't come.

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, but it feels like a goodbye more than a reassurance. And that scares you most of all.

You close your eyes, trying to drown out the doubts, the fear, the aching emptiness. But it lingers, like a shadow that won't go away. You tell yourself he still loves you. He promised you forever. He's just... distracted. It's Bonten. It's the marriage. It's everything else.

But deep down, you know. You know that the Mikey who promised you forever is slipping further and further away. And no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to pull him back.

Manjiro Sano never lies to you. He never has before, and you never thought he could. You know he keeps secrets sometimes, but it's always to protect you—or so you've convinced yourself. You've clung to this justification, repeating it like a prayer when things feel too uncertain. 

When there's a question he doesn't want to answer, he'll give you a vague response, the kind that leaves you in a haze of ambiguity, and you never push him further. You know better than to force the issue. Sometimes, he'll be blunt and tell you outright that it's none of your concern. But a lie? Never.

At least, he never did until now.

Sitting across from him, in the dim light of your shared apartment, the shadows cast across his face, you notice the subtle shift in his expression. His gaze remains low, unfocused, like he's avoiding you. The way his fingers tap against the armrest of his chair—once steady, now restless—betrays him. The quiet cadence of the room, punctuated by the tension building between you, only makes his discomfort more pronounced. 

You know he's lying, even though the words are barely out of his mouth. It feels like a crack splintering through the foundation of your entire relationship.

It's not that you're good at detecting lies; you've never needed to be, not with him. His cold distance has always been paired with an odd, unwavering honesty, no matter how painful it could be. But this time? This time, he's hiding something. His body language is too off, too tense, like he's barely holding onto his own façade.

You asked a simple question: "Where were you?"

He hasn't been home in a week. It's not unusual—Mikey has never been the type to stick around. You've long since accepted the lonely nights, the excuses of 'business meetings' and 'late-night operations' with Bonten. You'd even accepted the wife. 

But something feels different now, a gnawing unease that claws at the back of your mind. You thought he'd say he was dealing with Bonten's usual mayhem, or perhaps, reluctantly admit that he'd been spending time with her. Anything would've been better than the silence hanging in the air now, thick with unspoken truths.

But you never expected him to lie.

Instead of the rage you thought would surge, an icy dread curls through your chest. Fear. A raw, unsettling fear that digs its nails into you as you realize just how far away he feels. As if he's not just sitting across from you, but miles away, unreachable. The distance between you stretches and stretches, suffocating in its vastness. It's like watching him drift out to sea while you stand, helpless, on the shore.

You need answers. The kind you know Mikey won't give you. So you turn to the only other person who might know what's going on: Haruchiyo Sanzu.

God, you hate him. There's not a day that passes where you don't fantasize about knocking that arrogant smirk off his face. Sanzu embodies everything that repels you—his cruelty, his recklessness, his toxic devotion to Mikey. But one thing you can count on is that Sanzu never spares your feelings. If anything, he takes sadistic pleasure in tearing you down with his cold truths. 

And that's why you're standing here, in front of his door, hand trembling slightly as you press the doorbell. The silence stretches, your heartbeat loud in your ears. You press the button again, your anxiety spiking with each passing second. 

Finally, the door creaks open, and there he is—Sanzu. He leans lazily against the doorframe, like your presence is a personal offense. His disheveled appearance surprises you—hair unkempt, shirt unbuttoned at the top. There's a faint scent of soap, but he looks like he's been in a rush, as if your arrival interrupted something.

His eyes narrow, flashing with irritation. "The fuck are you doing here?" His voice is cold, almost bored, like he can't be bothered to care.

"I need to talk to you." You're surprised your voice comes out steady when everything inside you feels like it's spiraling out of control.

Sanzu doesn't even give you the courtesy of a full response. He turns, slamming the door behind him, heading toward the elevator without a second glance. You follow, your pulse quickening. His long strides make it difficult to keep up.

"Where are you going?" you ask, slightly breathless. You hate how small you feel next to him, like you're always scrambling to catch up.

"To work. Where else?" He doesn't even look back as he taps the elevator button impatiently. His eyes flick to you briefly, condescending, before he adds, "Unlike you, I don't have the luxury of doing nothing all day."

The dismissiveness in his tone grates on your nerves. You swallow back the retort, knowing it's not worth the fight. You're not here to argue with Sanzu—you're here for something much more important.

The elevator ride is thick with tension, the air suffocating between you. He stares at the floor numbers as they change, clearly eager to get away from you. You take a deep breath, summoning the courage to say what you came here for.

"I need to ask you about Bonten." Your words feel heavy in the silence.

Sanzu's head snaps toward you, eyes sharp and piercing. There's a moment of silence, and you feel the weight of his stare, like he's assessing how much to toy with you before answering.

"I warned you," he says, voice dangerously low. "Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. Just because you're Mikey's little sidepiece doesn't mean you're part of this world."

Sidepiece. The word hits like a slap, stinging far more than you'd care to admit. But you hold your ground, your voice sharper now as you bite back, "I was asking nicely, wasn't I?"

He lets out a cruel chuckle, his amusement laced with mockery. "And you should've known better than to come to me."

When the elevator doors open, Sanzu strides out, leaving you to catch up once again. You hurry behind him, the cold concrete of the basement parking lot biting through your shoes as you watch him head toward the row of parked bikes.

"Just tell me where Mikey's been," you call out, your voice cracking slightly. The desperation seeps through despite your best efforts to keep it buried. 

Sanzu doesn't even slow down. He throws a leg over his black superbike, adjusting the helmet in his hands. 

His tone is icy as he responds, "Why the hell would I tell you?"

You feel the panic rising, the gnawing insecurity clawing at your chest. You can't let this go. 

"It's his wife, isn't it? Something's going on between them?" The words tumble out before you can stop them, but you know it's true.

Sanzu finally turns to face you, his expression dark, a twisted glint in his eyes. "You really wanna know?" His voice is like a knife, cold and cutting. 

"Married couples fuck and have kids. You didn't think they'd just sit around holding hands, did you?"

Your world tilts. Pregnant. Mikey's wife is pregnant. The words hang in the air, crushing you. Sanzu's bike roars to life, drowning out everything as he speeds away, leaving you standing there, reeling.

Manjiro Sano says he still loves you. He says it so many times, even when you confront him about her pregnancy. You have tears in your eyes, your voice quivering as the words left your lips. His hands, warm and gentle, hold you close—just like always. The softness in his embrace feels too familiar, almost comforting, like you could convince yourself, just for a moment, that nothing has changed. That you could still believe him.

He'd whispers that she might be his wife, but you are the one who had his heart. That his feelings for you haven't shifted, not even after this new life he is bringing into the world. That you still matter.

But something about it never sits right after that day.

It isn't the sex that bothers you. You've made peace with that. He is married, after all, and while it stings, you tell yourself it's just physical. Something they have to do. Something that won't affect your place in his life. Mikey's quiet assurances of love are enough to quell the hurt, at least for a while. He always knows exactly what to say, how to soothe your insecurities without letting them fester.

Until they do.

Each time he doesn't come home, doesn't call, doesn't text—each time he leaves you waiting, that old promise of his love grows weaker. It starts to feel like a distant echo, hollow and fragile. The uncertainty eats you away, the creeping doubt filling the space between your conversations. And then comes the guilt. You couldn't ignore it anymore, couldn't shove it to the back of your mind. She is pregnant with his child. 

And you? 

You are the other woman now. The mistress. The sidepiece. 

You tell yourself to be patient, to wait it out, to trust him. But those same reassurances you cling to begin unraveling with every unanswered phone call. Mikey's silences cut deeper than his words ever could, a painful reminder that you are no longer the center of his world. You are becoming the afterthought.

And today is your ninth anniversary. Nine years.

Nine years since the day the two of you had become inseparable, since the day you thought you'd be each other's forever. And as you get ready, as you slip on your favorite dress and touch up your makeup, you're hit with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia—memories flooding back of how you used to be. How easy it was back then, how natural everything felt when there were no lies between you. 

It takes everything in you to keep your spirits up as you head to his office, imagining the look on his face when you surprise him. Maybe that's what you need—a face-to-face reminder of who you are to him. That spark between you will rekindle, and the distance will melt away.

You hope.

The lobby feels colder than usual, and as you step inside, something feels off. The receptionist greets you with a stiff smile. You've seen her enough times to know that she's never this tense. She doesn't say much, but there's an awkwardness in the air, like she knows something you don't.

Your nerves tighten as you enter the elevator. The ride to the top floor feels longer than usual, the anticipation in your chest growing with each passing second. When the doors open, you step out into the executive lounge, the familiar sight of Bonten's most trusted members lounging around.

Ran is the first to notice you, his lazy smirk never quite reaching his eyes. Kakucho is next, nearly spilling his drink when he spots you.

"You okay there?" you ask with a light laugh, trying to ignore the unease in the pit of your stomach.

Kakucho straightens up, but his eyes dart nervously toward the hallway that leads to Mikey's office. "You here to see Mikey?" he asks, his voice strained.

You nod, offering him a small smile. "Yeah. I thought I'd surprise him." 

Ran's smirk doesn't falter, but there's something about the way he's watching you that makes your skin prickle. 

"Surprise, huh?" he says, his voice cool and detached.

Kakucho shifts uncomfortably, his gaze flickering between you and the hallway again. "Maybe now isn't the best time..." he starts, his voice trailing off as if he doesn't want to finish the thought.

But you brush off the strange tension between them. Kakucho's always been awkward with you, right? 

You make your way down the hall, your heels clicking against the marble floors in rhythm with your racing heart. This is supposed to be a happy moment—your anniversary. You don't want to ruin it by reading too much into their strange behavior.

But then you hear it.

A voice. Her voice.

You freeze mid-step, the sound of her moaning his name sending a violent shock through your system. The world around you blurs, your body moving on autopilot as you edge closer to the door, your hand trembling as you press it against the wood. The crack in the door is just wide enough for you to see.

Mikey is there, his wife's legs draped over his shoulders, his hands on her thighs, his face pressed between her legs.

You can't breathe. 

This is different.

Not the act itself—but the intimacy, the tenderness in how he touches her. He's doing something for her that he's never done for you. Not once, in all your time together, had he ever gone down on you. But here he is, giving her something more, something deeper. And you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces.

You can't stay here.

Your feet carry you backward, your movements slow, cautious. You shut the door as softly as you can, careful not to make a sound. Your entire body feels numb, a sick feeling twisting in your stomach as you stand there, staring at the ground, trying to process what you've just seen. 

Why did he never do that for you?

A rush of shame washes over you, mingling with the rage bubbling in your chest. You'd always told yourself you were enough for him. But now you wonder—were you? Was it all a lie, just something to keep you hanging on, while he gave her all the things you thought were reserved for you?

The world feels like it's tilting around you, the walls closing in as you stand there, numb. The sound of footsteps snaps you back to reality.

"You're here to see Mikey too?" Kakucho's voice filters through the haze.

"Yeah, yeah," comes the lazy reply. 

It's Sanzu, his voice slurred and casual, as if nothing in the world could touch him. He's closer now, and you barely register it, lost in the whirlwind of your own thoughts.

Ran's voice follows, a teasing edge to his tone. "Dude, you're tripping balls."

Sanzu laughs, a sound so careless it makes your skin crawl. "Friday night, what'd you expect?"

Before you can fully process the situation, a rough hand grabs you by the arm and yanks you back. You stumble, whirling around to face him.

Sanzu.

His teal eyes are wild, bloodshot and blown wide from whatever cocktail of drugs he's taken today. You know he's high, as the smell of drugs clinging to him, intoxicating the air around you.

"What the fuck are you up to this time?" he sneers, his voice low and mocking.

You try to pull away, but his grip tightens, his fingers digging painfully into your arm. "S-Sanzu, I—"

He cuts you off, his face uncomfortably close to yours now. "Scared?" he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. The sick amusement in his voice makes your stomach turn. He's enjoying this—enjoying your fear, your vulnerability.

You try to twist free, but he pulls you closer, his lips curling into a twisted smile. "You should be," he whispers, his voice dripping with malice.

Your heart races, panic clawing at your chest. Sanzu when he's like this—high, unpredictable—is a beast you've learned to fear. He's always been unstable, but now, he's downright terrifying.

Yet, as you stand there, trembling in his grasp, all you can think about is Mikey. The lie he told you. The image of him with her, of how easily he discarded you, flashes through your mind again and again.

I still love you.

The words are poison now, burning through you as Sanzu's grip tightens.

< part one ends >

author's notes. hello there sanzu kinnie fam <3 i'm so excited to finally share the first part of my sanzu fanfic, 'bonten's number two'!! this idea has been brewing in my head for two years (lol) and i cant wait to see what you think ;) if you enjoyed it, please consider leaving notes! i'd love to hear your thoughts (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

thanks for reading guys! you're awesome!! <3

taglist. @iluv-ace @reiners-milkbiddies (comment below if you’d like to be added to the taglist!)

© CANDYEAGER. do not copy, repost, modify, or translate my works in any other platforms.

15. waka's girl

★ pairings: plug!wakasa imaushi x f!reader

★ synopsis: the one where you have the hots for your dealer, and Wakasa is always eager to please a customer. (don't let your bf stop you from finding ur hubby)

★ content warning: smut, angst, lotta porn w a lotta plot, car sex, dealer wakasa, cheating, oral sex, sneaky link, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, sex while high, consensual drug use, mentions of abuse, unprotected sex, smut in this chap... going out w a bang...

★ a/n: I never thought id be writing this... omg... but after almost a year, we are finally at the end of party monster!!!! I feel so emotional writing this up. I don't wanna spend too much time yapping, so I'll finish this a/n at the end teehee... but I spent sm time on this chapter so I hope u all like it!! enjoy the final installment of my fave ff ive ever written!

★ w.c.; 7.4k

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THE FEELING OF WETNESS on your skin roused you from your slumber. Groggily, you glanced up at the ceiling. It was higher than you remembered, a little grander. In fact, the bed you woke up in didn’t seem to have been yours at all. It was a hell of a lot bigger, and it had wine red sheets laid over it.

There was a black cat on top of your chest. He was a lightweight thing, small paws pressing into your skin while he peered down at you curiously. His eyes were yellow, almost unreal. The cat hopped off of you.

You glanced down at your arm, the one that was crossed over your stomach. There was a wet patch on the skin there, like the feline fellow had licked you.

He had a cat?

There was a body next to you, a warmth – and you felt yourself breathe a sigh of relief. So it wasn’t a dream.

Slowly, you rolled over. Wakasa was sleeping peacefully next to you, golden brown lashes fanning over his rose-dusted cheeks, lips parted ever-so-slightly. His hair was down and slightly wavy, golden rays cascading over the red satin pillowcase like a halo around his face.

You felt your heart jump at the sight.

You reached out for him, pulling the stray hairs away from his nose and his mouth. He stirred, but only slightly, easing back into a deep sleep while you traced your finger over the slopes and valleys of his pretty face.

The black cat crawled into the gap between the two of you. He sniffed at Waka’s hair – who scrunched his nose up in his sleep. Finally, he turned around, letting his silky black tail glide over Waka’s nose as he settled down into the bed between you.

Waka woke up a moment later, tired eyes blinking slowly while he appeared to be remembering yesterday’s events – just as you had. A hundred million memories were trapped within the confines of his lavender hues, blinking at you like you had just been spat out from the heavens.

“G’mornin’,” He grumbled, the faintest grin flitting over his lips despite his apparent distaste for early mornings.

“Mornin’, Waka,” His name rolled off your tongue like butter. It felt natural. 

He folded the sheets down away from his face, stretching. 

“So…” You began, trailing off. There was an elephant in the room. “Last night…”

Wakasa chuckled. “Not g’nna tell me you regret it again, are ‘ya?”

“No, just that I meant it,” You sighed. It felt nice to admit that to him after all this time. “The part about lovin’ you. I meant it.”

He sighed, laying his head back on the pillow and smiling at the ceiling – you think. “Good,” he replied. “I meant it, too.”

And you felt the worries melt away. Felt your eyes crease as you leaned in closer to him, brushing your lips against his in a tender kiss. Then another. He was intoxicating. It made your head spin with bliss.

You pulled away when you felt him deepen the kiss. “Nooo,” You whined. “I have morning breath.”

Waka gripped your chin, deepening the kiss anyway – a borderline nasty mix of your morning breath and his, but you didn’t even care. Your hands found their way to his shoulders instinctively.

When he broke away, that grin was still on his face.

“We still on f’tonight?” He asked.

You glanced down at your surprisingly un-naked body. You were wearing one of his tee shirts.

“Yeah,” You said after a brief pause. “I should probably go home and get into some fresh clothes.”

Waka pouted. “You’re leavin’ me?”

“You’re literally gonna see me in, like, six hours,” You retorted, sliding out of bed with a great deal of effort. Your back was completely shot.

You really ought to remember you were going on 30.

When you turned around, he was still pouting. It was a little funny, actually. Here he was, a grown ass man, pouting while you threatened to leave the warm confines of his bed. Oddly domestic, but not entirely undesirable. 

You realized you could probably get used to this.

“I’ll be countin’ the seconds,'' he hummed, finally dropping his faux-angry facade in favor of snuggling into the wine-colored sheets. His cat hopped up over his legs, crawling over to him and curling up against his bare chest. 

With a faint smile, Waka petted his hands over the cat’s fur. He looked up at you, offering, “Matter of fact, can I take you home?”

You thought for a moment, briefly remembering that you really didn’t have another way home. Waka had been your form of transportation last night.

You shrugged, “Alright.”

Wakasa grinned like a child on christmas morning, hopping out of bed. He jogged over to you – still remarkably shirtless, though he had the decency to have put a new pair of boxers on.

You poked a playful finger into his chest, warning him, “No funny business, you hear? You’re gonna drop me off out front. You’re not coming inside.”

“I can do that,” he chuckled rather boyishly, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Waka,” You reiterated sternly. “I mean it. You’re not coming inside. Say it, say ‘I’m not coming insi–’”

“I’m not coming inside,” he sped out. Reaching into a drawer in the bedside table, he pulled out a shirt. “Now let’s go.”

There was some odd feeling you couldn’t shake as you gazed at your reflection in your pocket mirror. You looked… good. Better than you had in ages, actually.

Your eyebags had been covered up – thanks to some trusty concealer and a vision. Your lips were painted a deep shade of red, the same color Takeomi had always told you he hated. The same could be said about your lashes, which were done up with black mascara and curled to perfection. The slightest hint of red dusted your cheeks. 

You looked good.

Snapping the handheld mirror shut, you sighed. You glanced up at the wooden door in front of you. There was a wooden plaque to your left, one that was faintly illuminated by a warm light. It read; ARAGAWA.

You smoothed your hands over your black evening dress. 

You were here. You were actually here.

When you opened the oak door, you were greeted by a man with a warm smile. Immediately, you caught a whiff of something distinctly expensive – perfume, steak, wine. He was wearing a well-sculpted black suit. “Good evening, Miss, Welcome to Aragawa. Do you have a reservation?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I think…” You bit the inside of your lip. “I’m not sure what name he put it under, though. Imaushi Wakasa?”

“Miss [L/N], my apologies,” The man’s expression changed, as if the grand reveal of your reservation had caused him to warm up instantaneously. He stepped out from behind the table, gesturing to the small, carpeted set of stairs which led into the dining room. “Right this way, please. Emi will escort you to your table.”

You nodded politely, mustering an awkward smile. You stepped back, making your way down the aforementioned steps. 

There was a woman waiting for you off to the side. She had a short, brown bob and a cute button nose. The neckline of the black dress she wore plunged below her breasts. Against your better judgment, you felt your eyes wander.

She bowed in greeting when she saw you, “Good evening. Please follow me.”

You fiddled with the hem of your skirt, smiling warmly as she led you further into the dining room. The place looked expensive. There was red carpet all over the floors, amber and gold art all over the walls, and lantern lights over every table. There was a bar at the side of the room. She led you past it. 

The hostess stopped in front of a wooden stairway – one that led up. She turned to you and gestured to the stairs. “Right up these stairs, miss.”

“Thank you,” You bowed ever-so-slightly.

Somehow, you felt out of place at a restaurant like this.

As you made your way up the stairs, you felt your heart begin to race. 

The corridor you came into was dimly lit. There were two private dining rooms, one on your right and one on your left. You turned your head both ways, searching for a sign of your date. When you looked to your left for the second time, you saw him.

He was sitting at a circular table, a menu propped up in his hands. He looked so handsome that you felt your fucking heart do a somersault. 

The room was small, but it looked bougie. There was a golden Chandelier above the table. Behind the table, a large wooden shelf displayed bottles of red wine with expensive names – Sauvignon, Merlot, and so many more. A tasteful painting hung next to a set of double doors, behind which you could only assume lie the kitchen.

The wine-colored napkins were folded neatly on the table, along with a set of silverware, a fancy-looking wine glass, and an empty water glass.

You sauntered into the private dining room with your head down and your hands clasped around your clutch purse. Wakasa noticed you the moment you arrived, pretty eyes twinkling beneath the warm candle light as they flitted up to you. Immediately, his resting bitch face melted into a familiar grin.

“Long time no see, princess,” He greeted you. Before you could sit down, he stood up – and, shit, if your heart wasn’t racing before, it was now. 

He was dressed to the nines tonight, something uncharacteristically nice. It should have been illegal for a white suit jacket to fit someone’s body like that, tailored curves hugging the slopes of his waist and shoulders. He wore a black dress shirt beneath – first few buttons undone, just the way you knew he normally liked to wear his shirts. The matching slack hugged his hips and fell loosely over his legs. He had a gold chain around his neck, one that glimmered beneath the romantic lighting.

And his hair – fuck – his hair was done back into a bun. A single intentional strip of hair was left out to frame his handsome face. His eyes, his lips, his cheekbones, his chiseled jaw… he was perfect.

“That dress is perfect on you,” Waka took your hand with a gentle firmness, raising it to his lips and pressing a chaste kiss to the top of it. “You look stunnin’ tonight, baby.”

He stepped around you, pulling your chair out from beneath the table. 

 “Thanks. Not too shabby, yourself,” You felt your face flush. With a timid smile, you replied sarcastically, “You’re all dressed up tonight. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothin’. Just a date with the most beautiful woman in the world,” he answered. “Sit down. I just ordered us an appetizer.”

What a schmoozer, You rolled your eyes. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered by his comment. He always knew what to say to get you going.

You took a seat, smoothing your hands over your dress, setting your clutch on the table.

Wakasa walked around the table to sit in front of you. You noticed his glass of water was half full. He must have been waiting for me.

“Sorry if I kept you waiting,” You hummed quietly, tucking your hair behind your ear and reaching for the menu. “My makeup took a lot longer than I thought it would.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Love,” He dismissed your concerns with a wave of his hand. His eyes drank you in almost hungrily. “You look good.”

Love. You felt your cheeks warm at the nickname. It took every ounce of restraint you had to not hop the table and kiss him right then and there.

You returned your gaze to the menu in your hands. The pages were lined with fancy sounding steaks and obnoxiously high prices. You winced, though your gaze trailed over the options with a sense of yearning. Everything here looks so good.

“D’you like red wine?” He asked you suddenly. He was watching you with an earnest expression on his face, chin perched on his palm. 

With a quiet hum, you nodded. “It’s a rare treat for me. Why?”

“I ordered the house wine. I heard it’s good,” He mused quietly. His eyes lingered on your neck, where you knew a dainty gold necklace was fastened. 

And he smiled at you. 

“Takeomi never took me out to dinner,” You blurted out nervously.

Great. Let’s talk about my ex on the first date.

Wakasa didn’t seem to mind it, though you took note of the way his lip twitched when you said his name. 

“His loss,” Was all he said, licking his lips. He looked like he was going to say something else, like there was another sassy remark on the tip of his tongue, but he was interrupted by the sound of double doors opening. He glanced behind you.

When you turned around, you saw another pretty, young waitress holding a bottle of wine and a vase of… flowers. There were two more men behind her, holding two more — albeit much larger — floral arrangements.

You knitted your brows with a quiet interest. The vase she set down was a burst of color amidst the intimate ambiance. It looked like a spring arrangement — colorful lilies, dahlias, and all sorts of other flowers you didn’t know the name of.

“How pretty,” you mused quietly, raking your eyes over the vase the restaurant had so generously provided. The two larger vases were placed on either side of the table — making it so that you and Waka were framed by the pretty petals like something out of a movie.

How romantic.

The waitress popped the cork off of the wine bottle. She grabbed your empty wine glass by the stem — then, with practiced ease, she poured your wine. 

“Thank you,” You nodded at the girl. You took the glass up in your hand, swishing the crimson liquid around until it sloshed around the bottom. “For everything— the flowers are nice, too.”

“I knew you would like them,” Wakasa remarked. Sitting back in his seat, he allowed the woman to pour him a glass.

She set the bottle on the table. Then, with a curt bow, she quietly excused herself.

You raised a brow at him. “You picked these?”

Wakasa mirrored your action from earlier, giving the deep-colored liquid a few swishes. “‘Course, princess,” He answered. “They’re yours.”

With wide eyes, you glanced over at one of the bigger vases. “All of this is… for me?” You asked.

“All for you, baby,” He replied.

You looked back at him with even wider eyes. You feared that if he made one more outlandish statement, they would pop right out of their sockets. “They look so expensive, Waka, I— …I don’t even know how we’re gonna get these out of here!”

“I’ll have one of my guys bring them to your house,” Waka rolled the stem of his glass between his thumb and his index finger. His lavender hues flicked up to your painted red lips. “I was gonna have ‘em sent there in the first place but, y’know… would’a ruined the surprise.”

You spared one more glance at one of the large bouquets. It was huge — weeping stems and bright flowers spilling out over the edge and towering at least two feet tall.

“Waka, this is too much…” You licked your lips, looking back at him. You almost wished you hadn’t. Fuck, it should be illegal for blondes to look that good. “I can’t accept this— I can’t repay you for-“

“You’re not repaying me for anything, Mama,” He hummed. That devilish grin of his was gonna be the death of you. “I told you I could treat you better than that bum you were fuckin’ with before. I plan on makin’ good on that promise.”

“But—“

“Let me spoil you, princess,” He added, instantaneously shutting down any argument that had formed in the back of your mind. “Can’t treat you good unless you let me, yeah?”

You sat back with a pout, though it melted into a shy grin. You felt the blush creeping in at his words — again, it took a great deal of restraint to keep from kissing him right then and there. “M’kay… thank you, Waka.”

“Anythin’ for you, Mama,” He smiled back. He reached over the table with his spare hand, taking your fingers into his grasp reassuringly. 

“Now I don’t want you to worry your pretty little head about money again, okay?” He warned you rather sternly, though you could tell there was a grain of humor behind it. “You know that’s not an issue for me, and even if it was… that’s for me to worry ‘bout. All you gotta do is sit there and look pretty with whatever I buy you.”

A horde of angry butterflies paraded through your stomach, your chest, leaving a trail of red blush over your face. You had to avert your gaze, pressing your thighs together beneath the table. 

“Okay…” You murmured timidly, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Thank you, Waka.”

Woah… so crazy how you were dripping wet, all of a sudden.

He released your hand just as the waitress returned. The two of you fell back into a comfortable silence — you basked in the warmth in your cheeks, your neck, your whole body.

“Are you two ready to order?” She asked.

You had completely forgotten about the menu. Quickly, you flipped it open, scanning the page for something that looked interesting. 

“I think we’re ready,” Wakasa said. He adjusted the cuffs of his jacket. With a warm smile, he asked you, “Whad’ya gonna have, my love?”

You felt the tips of your ears burn at the nickname. 

Fuck. You were going to combust.

“I’ll take the Sanda Beefsteak meal,” You told her. “Could I have that cooked medium well?” You asked.

The waitress nodded. Then, she turned to Wakasa with the same polite smile she had greeted you with. “And you, sir?”

“I’ll have the same,” He rattled off. Gently, he pulled the menu from your grasp, stacking it over his and handing it off to the girl. “Thank you,” he said.

You were melting into your seat. There was something about a man who was nice to food service workers that was just….

“We’re on a date right now,” You blurted out rather awkwardly, as if you were still attempting to process it – nevermind the flowers and the dinner and… well, everything else. 

He turned to face you with an expression which could only be described as lovestruck, half lidded eyes settling over your painted lips before he answered, “We are.”

He reached for his glass again, this time holding it towards you. “Wanna make a toast?”

You reached for your own, rolling it between your pinched fingers with a pensive hum. You thought for a moment, then you giggled, “I can’t think of anything.”

Waka pouted playfully, “I’m right here.”

“Okay, okay,” You laughed. You held your glass up to the sky, translucent rim glimmering beneath the candlelight. “To the beginning of something beautiful… and… and the end of something terrible.”

He smiled, then he laughed – the melody made your heart skip a beat. “Movin’ a bit fast, ain’t we?” He asked. “Weren’t we friends, like, two days ago?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. What do I have to lose? “Says the one who likes to say “I love you” during sex.”

 “Who said it back?” he mused, holding his own serving of wine towards you. He leaned over the table, eyes darkening, “You loved all of me last night, ain’t you, pretty thing?”

“I can drink to that,” You giggled. 

The glasses clinked against one another and it was as if you had finally stepped into a new chapter – with him by your side. As long as you had that, you felt everything else would fall into place.

As long as you had him.

Dinner was a joyful blur. As the night unfolded, the two of you reveled in one other's company, savoring every moment. Laughter intertwined with the aroma of exquisite dishes. Time seemed to slip away as you enjoyed the many various culinary delights. It was perfect, him, the food… all of it.

Dessert had been brought out thirty minutes ago, on a cart adorned with an array of rich, sweet treats. At Waka’s request, the two of you had sampled just about everything. You indulged in the rare chance to taste such decadent flavors rather shamelessly.

You had eaten a few tarts, a piece of some chocolate cake… some other desserts, too, but you had far since lost track. 

You leaned back in your chair, shamelessly holding your stomach, a satisfied smile playing on your lips. “I’ve never felt so full in my life,” You confessed. Though you knew you looked tired, you were genuine in your next words, “Thank you, Waka. I mean it.”

Wakasa, with his shin perched on his hand, gazed at her lovingly. His pretty face was flushed with the faintest hue of red, as much of a testament to your wine tasting experience as the rosy stain on his lips was. After three or four glasses (maybe more), his eyes were droopy, half lidded, and shamelessly gazing into yours. He looked like he, too, had put in a great amount of effort to keep his hands off of you all night.

This very well may have been the longest the two of you had ever gone alone together in a room without kissing one another.

“‘Course, baby,” He said. His voice seemed to have dropped a pitch during the evening, suddenly rather heavy with desire. “I’m glad you enjoyed.”

Ignoring the warmth of your own reckless drinking habit, you pointed out the nearly untouched brown cake on his plate. “You barely touched your dessert.”

“‘M stuffed, baby,” Waka sighed, leaning back. “Plus, I gotta cut down on the sweets. I’m putin’ on weight.”

You knitted your brows, pouting at his admission of insecurity. You didn’t doubt that there was a lot of maintenance involved in achieving a body like his. Still, you didn’t like the thought of him feeling bad about himself. 

“Why? You look perfect!” You tried to reassure him. The moment he opened his mouth to retort, you held up a finger, effectively silencing him. Him, the most dangerous man in Tokyo, if not all of Japan. “And don’t start callin’ me a liar,” You added, waving your finger around. “I think I got a good view last night. Though I could always take another look, just to make sure.”

I just said that out loud. You froze immediately, face flushed at your own admission. The moment you saw his expression shift, you regretted your choice of words.

He peered up at you through his pretty blonde lashes. “Don’t start,” he cautioned, a playful smirk on his devilishly handsome face. 

Again, his effect on you was instantaneous. You felt yourself grow hot beneath the layers of pretty clothes and makeup you were wearing – hot to your core.

So, being the little shit that you were, you played into it. 

“Start what?” You pouted, feigning innocence. 

“Somethin’ you won’t finish,” He retorted. His eyes were dark with desire, gaze sharp.

I want him to fuck me right here, you thought. Not long after that, a brilliant idea crossed your mind.

Slowly, you kicked off your heel. You searched for the toe of his shoe, sliding your foot up his calf.  

“Who says I won’t finish it?” You teased, folding your hands together in front of your lips. Your foot brushed over his knee, his thigh.

He hummed in response. “Don’t– don’t play with me,” He stuttered – actually stuttered – when you put your foot over his crotch. Immediately, you felt him twitch beneath your fleeting touch. His eyes were on you, weighted with lust. “I’ll bend you over this table in front’a everybody.”

“That just won’t do,” You feigned surprise, widening your eyes. Your tone was condescending, exaggerating every syllable that left your lips. “Stop misbehaving. This is a classy establishment.”

He leaned over the table ever-so-slightly. “You gonna make me?”

The young waitress returned at the perfect time, holding a checkbook in hand. She set the sleek black book upon the table, bowing slightly as she did so. 

“Your card, sir,” She spoke politely. Then, she turned to you, doing the same respectful bow. “Thank you for dining with us tonight. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening.”

Without so much as another word, she was gone. 

You hadn’t stopped your ministrations once in her presence, hoping the tablecloth had done a good enough job at concealing the way you were rubbing him through his slacks. He was hot and hard underneath your sole.

It’s so easy to get him riled up, you noted with the faintest smirk upon your lips.

“Say,” He remarked, flipping the checkbook open and clicking the pen against the table. Without looking at you, he scribbled down a few numbers – the tip, you assumed, because it looked steep. When he was done, he took his black card and closed the book, returning his gaze to you. “How do you feel about dessert?”

Speaking in code now, are we?

“I think…” You put a little more weight onto your foot, dropping your voice to a murmur. “I think you should bring the car ‘round front,” You leaned in. You were all but whispering into his ear by that point. “And get us the hell out of here.”

He stifled a groan. “Should I?” He grinned.

“You should,” You nodded, licking your lips. When you felt you had gotten your point across, you let your foot touch the ground, slipping effortlessly back into your shoe. “I think I wanna take my dessert to-go.”

Wakasa, caught up in the spontaneity of the moment, stood up so quickly that his chair scraped unceremoniously against the floor. His enthusiasm was palpable. “We can beat the traffic if we leave now,” he suggested with a smile – one that you knew was a disguise for his lust-ridden expression. “Like, right now.”

He dusted his hands off on his coat, walking around the round table.

“Waka, what traffic? It’s 10 PM–” You began, but your witty retort was cut short as he pulled you up by your arm. 

He had all but dragged you out of the restaurant. 

Wakasa had to have been doing at least 30 over the speed limit the whole way home. As he maneuvered through the streets with an unusual speed for the hour, the cityscape blurred into streaks of light. The rumbling of the engine was loud, even more so from where you were seated between his legs. He had his slacks unzipped just enough for you to get your mouth around him. With one hand on the wheel, he gripped a fistful of your hair in the other. 

You went at it like you were made for it. Up and down, up and down, fitting him all the way in until the head of his cock bumped the back of your throat. 

You were sucking and slurping on him so lewdly that it caught you by surprise. 

"Mmm, baby," he whined, glancing down with a playful smirk. "Couldn't wait 'til we got home, hm?" Gently, he pulled your hair out of your face, tucking it neatly behind your ears. Then, immediately undoing his own work, he twisted your hair around his fist and fucked your mouth.

You made a noise in response, though it was broken up by the nasty, dirty sound you made every time you gagged on his dick. You peered up at him through half-lidded eyes, through long, wispy lashes, leaving a trail of saliva running down his thighs, strings of spit trailing down his cock.

He gripped your hair a little tighter. “Mmh,” he groaned, “Shi-it.”

And you just sat back and let him use you. You knew it was wrong, you knew it was fucking filthy and deplorable. You didn’t care. You loved it.

With a shudder and a moan, he pushed your head down a little further. You gagged on it again, swallowing him down, tightening your throat around him like you were made to suck his dick. 

The car swerved to the right. You felt your stomach drop. One wrong move and we could crash.

His focus shifted rapidly between the road and the dangerous display of affection unfolding beneath the dim glow of the dashboard.

He pulled you up by the roots of your hair, and you took the cue to slurp on his leaky tip. You wrapped your hands around what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, stroking, swirling, slurping – you felt like his personal whore. 

The car shifted rather suddenly. You lurched to the side. Before you could remind him to keep his eyes on the road, he shoved your head down, forcing you to take him to the hilt – until your nose was pressed up against his navel, until you gagged so hard on him that your throat made a vile ‘gluck’ sound.

Only a moment later, the car began to slow down. You assumed the two of you were approaching a red light. What you hadn’t expected, however, was for the car to glide over the indentations that marked the beginning of the shoulder.

Then the car stopped.

You pulled off of him, furrowing your brows, licking your swollen lips. You struggled to catch your breath, gasping out, “Waka… Where… What happened?”

He said nothing but, instead, put the car in park. He put his chair back. Then, without so much as a kind warning, he grabbed you by the hair, pulling you up into his lap.

Immediately, he searched for your lips – pressing his against yours in a passionate, intense dance of teeth and tongue. You felt exposed like this; out in the open with nothing but some tinted windows and a few dim street lights to conceal what the two of you were doing – but not entirely opposed to it. The thought of being caught like this thrilled you.

It was rushed, it was messy, it was hot – so hot. You felt yourself burning up beneath his touch. 

 He smacked your ass, grunting, “Backseat, baby.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. Quickly, you climbed over him, messily stumbling over the center console and sliding into the backseat. He zipped himself up, but only for a moment, quickly throwing the door open and sliding into the backseat with you.

"You look so good t’nite," His eyes dropped to your mouth, hungry and feral. "Can’t wait any longer." 

Then he pressed his lips to yours, and all of the air left your lungs. He slid his tongue against your lip, and you began to get lost in the kiss rather quickly, hands sliding up his shoulders, his neck, his chest. You straddled his waist, not even caring that the fabric of your skirt had ridden up to your waist, revealing your stark lack of underwear beneath your choice of attire. 

Not that you were planning on getting lucky, of course. You know… it just… happened to work out that way.

His hand had wrapped itself around your neck when the two of you disconnected – he was being uncharacteristically rough tonight, but you didn’t have any opposition to it. Waka pressed his forehead against yours, lips hovering inches away, breath fanning over your lips.

“You’re drippin’ on me, baby,” He panted. When you looked down, you noticed that you were, in fact, dripping – having left a wet spot on his white slacks. He laughed against your lips, slightly winded, “G’nna make me fuck you on the highway. You want that?”

Yes. You wanted him. Right now, right here in the back of his expensive car.

You nodded. 

“You got so wet from suckin’ me off,” He let out an airy chuckle, tired eyes peering right into the depths of your soul. Slowly, teasingly, he reached for your cunt. “No panties either, hmm? Think I’d slip right into ‘ya. Wanna try it?”

"Ngh…" You mewled. His hand around your throat was making you dizzy with desire. Still, licking your lips, you found the strength to nod.

"Dirty girl," he seethed. His thumb pressed deeper into your neck, mouth ghosting over yours. Unable to resist anymore, you rolled your hips down again… and again. He smirked against your lips, “You gonna take all of it?”

You were too shy to reply. Instead, you buried your nose in his neck, pressing hot kisses to his warm skin. The taste of his cologne lingered on your tongue. He released your neck, going for the back of your head next – taking a fistful of your hair again and pulling it taut.

You gasped, letting him pull your head back.

“I asked you a question, Mama,” He repeated himself. His tone was low, dangerous… threatening. “You gonna take it all f’me?”

“Mhm,” You whimpered, feeling him replace his large hand around your neck.

He pressed forward for another kiss, although this time there was something more passionate about it. His tongue swiftly entered your mouth, and with it came the lingering taste of chocolate cake. You welcomed it, bringing your hands up to the back of his head. His grip on your neck tightened as he tilted your head to get a better angle into your mouth. The restriction of your airway filled your mind with a blissful haze.

You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him closer, closer. His kisses were making you weak, dizzy with pleasure. Well, that and the fact that his grip on your trachea was unrelenting. When his fingers stopped digging into your skin, the air came rushing back to you. 

You gasped again, and then one more time as he lifted you off of his lap.

“That’s right,” He growled. He fiddled with the zipper of his pants, sliding them back down, past his hips. Thanks to you, he didn’t have any boxers to push aside – or any need for lubricant, for that matter.

You tried your best to feel shame at the prospect of being on the side of the literal highway where anyone could see you. (Tinted windows. Something you had forgotten about.) But there was little room for doubt when he positioned his tip at your entrance and then promptly slid into you.

“Fuck!” You cried out, fingernails digging into his pale shoulders.

"You got it, baby," He growled against your lips. This was wrong. Very wrong. But the moment his tip bumped your cervix, you threw your morals out the window.

You whined, moving your hips against his. He was right there, right where he needed to be, and the blissful slide of his dick against your wet walls made your vision go white at the edges.

"No panties under that dress – achin’ to be fucked right where everyone can see you. So filthy, hm?” He immediately picked up the pace, gripping your hips to lift and slam you down on his cock. The quiet groan of 'shit' that left his lips when your hips began to meet him halfway was anything but holy. "My dirty girl."

"I'm not--" Your sentence broke off into a long, drawn out moan as he slid back inside of you. "Fu-uck. Harder!”

"Harder, baby?" He teased before swiftly pulling out of you. He brought your skirt up higher around your waist. You felt exposed and -- quite frankly -- a little nervous. Just past the rearview window, you could see the cars flying by. Then you looked back at him, and you melted a bit.

He eyed you up almost animalistically. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looked like he wanted to fucking eat you up. 

He thrust his hips up sharply, snapping against your ass – pulling you down harshly in the same motion. He sheathed himself entirely in your warmth in a way that had you screaming out for him.

You cried out, feeling the table jolt with the force of his sudden thrust.

"Waka, baby!" You gasped out. Your nerves burned with the sudden sensation of him bottoming out. You struggled to accommodate his girth under such short notice, but, fuck, it felt good. 

He spared no time with picking up a fast pace, hips snapping forcefully against your ass. You had no time to adjust to him, no. Instead, apparently, Wakasa had made it his mission to fuck you senseless.

"I love you," he moaned. It was like music to your fucking ears. "Fuck, I love you."

With the slick of your arousal already dripping down your thighs, there was little need for any excess lubricant. His hand tangled itself in your hair. The other was looped firmly around your waist. 

"Be my girl," He purred, following your line of sight to the body-length mirror in the living room. You could just barely make out the devious expression sitting firmly on his usually emotionless features. He dropped down to grip your neck, pulling the upper half of your body up while keeping your lower half anchored to the table. "Please– be my girl, baby."

Then, if it were even possible, his thrusts became more forceful. The car jumped in tandem. 

He bottomed out inside of you once more. At this angle, he found your sweet spot with every single thrust. His brutal speed was unrelenting. Eyes unfocused, your nails scratched at his shoulders, at his leather interior, searching desperately for something to grab onto while he piledrove you into oblivion.

“Say yes," he whimpered weakly. He attacked the side of your neck, teeth and lips tugging harshly on the sensitive skin. You clenched around him. Your reaction caused him to moan loudly against your neck. “Please, fuck, be my girl.”

"Yes!" you managed to get out. “I’m your girl –”

You honestly felt bad for whoever was driving by with their windows down at this point, because your moans had become a lot more similar to screams in lieu of recent events (recent events, of course, being Wakasa’s goal of ruining your chances of walking tomorrow).

He let out a pleased groan at your willingness to let him abuse the everloving shit out of your pussy. "My girl," he hummed. "My girl, only mine– fuck– I love you."

You were his girl. You had always been his girl, right from the start.

His hips stuttered. "Say it back," he growled. 

You couldn't take it anymore. The pleasure was far too much to bear. It was making your mind go blank. 

You bit back a moan, feeling your legs begin to tremble again with the weight of your impending release. You were close, too close to resist him. You raked your eyes up his shirtless form in the mirror, watching as his mouth parted to release a few shaky breaths. His legs shook against the back of your own. The muscles in his abdomen tensed up.

Guess I'm not the only one getting close to losing it.

"Yes! Yes!" You gasped out as he landed another smack on your thigh. "I’m your girl, fuck– yes!" His eyes met yours in a lustful daze. “Love you, Waka–”

His.

You had always been that, hadn't you? You'd simply been too blind to see it.

"Mine," He growled back in response. "No one else's."

You were getting closer now. The coil in your stomach was pulled as tight as it could go. "Mmh- yours! P-Please!"

You hadn’t cum this fast in… well, actually, maybe not. He seemed to have that effect on you.

"Cummin’" Waka shuddered. “Cummin’, baby, shit–”

The coil snapped, and your hips jolted rhythmically against him. You felt your walls clench around his dick, a sensation that made him lurch forward and reach his own orgasm.

"Fuck, baby, ‘m--" You cried out. This one hit you even harder than before, wave after wave of powerful pleasure shooting through you at the speed of light – back arching as he spilled into you.

He went for your lips again immediately after, kissing you softly while the two of you came down from your high. He kissed you breathlessly, passionately, like he would die if he stopped.

“You wanna come back to mine?” He asked. His forehead pressed against your own, his eyes glimmering with a slight hint of mischief. Above all else, though, they held promises of safety.“I can make us some dinner. I don’t want you walking home high at night, not in this neighborhood.”

“What a gentleman,” you mused. Sarcastically, of course, but not really.

“I can be whatever you want me to be tonight, dollface.” Wakasa grinned ear to ear, pressing another kiss to your sore lips. “Just say the word.”

You pulled away from him with a breathless laugh. “We did it in your backseat the first time we hooked up, too, didn’t we?”

“Mhm,” He hummed, melting back into the seat. 

His cum was still warm inside of you, spilling down his dick, your thighs, his lap. You kissed him again. “And now you’re my boyfriend.”

He laughed quietly, “Bad timing?”

“A bit,” You smiled. You pulled back, drinking in the sight of him like this – blond hair wild and messy, lips swollen and parted, face dusted with a rosy hue. His lilac irises were locked onto yours like you had just fallen out of the sky. Like he worshiped you.

Then you squealed, grinning ear to ear, “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Boyfriend makes it sound like we’re highschool sweethearts, or somethin’,” He chuckled. He wiped the sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. Pressing a chaste kiss to the apple of your neck, he added, “You can tell all your friends that the White Leopard’s y’er man.”

“You’re my man,” You repeated. The grin on your face was bright enough to power an entire city.

He replied, “You’re my girl, yeah? Everyone’s g’nna know you’re Waka’s girl.”

You kissed his forehead. “Waka’s girl,” You hummed, snuggling into his chest. “That’s got a nice ring to it.”

a/n: aaaand we have a (surprisingly) happy ending!!! omg. it has been too long. party monster has been in the works for a little under a year now. I hope u dont mind the hiatus, I was putting off workin on this chapter because I didnt want this story to end lol.... it's been such a long road. im so grateful for every single one of u. but id like to give a special shout out to @xiedoll ... they were my first ever fan! ill never forget when u commented on my ao3, ur comments are what really inspired me to adapt this one shot into a fullfic! there are so many of you id also love to thank. @sin-and-punishment, you have been such an avid supporter! omg! so many names, I can't possibly tag them all. I actually do have a sequel plotted out for party monster, one which I may or may not publish. let me know!!! I'm gonna upload an epilogue after this, then I'm done with (book one of) party monster. thank you all for staying tuned in for my rare updates, and for being so active in the comment section. my heart goes out to each n every one of you. as always, leave your comments and thoughts below!!! let me know what you thought about the ending (for this book ;)) with love, Leo!!!

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own tr or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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wanna join the taglist?| party monster! chapter index

15. waka's girl

★ pairings: plug!wakasa imaushi x f!reader

★ synopsis: the one where you have the hots for your dealer, and Wakasa is always eager to please a customer. (don't let your bf stop you from finding ur hubby)

★ content warning: smut, angst, lotta porn w a lotta plot, car sex, dealer wakasa, cheating, oral sex, sneaky link, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, sex while high, consensual drug use, mentions of abuse, unprotected sex, smut in this chap... going out w a bang...

★ a/n: I never thought id be writing this... omg... but after almost a year, we are finally at the end of party monster!!!! I feel so emotional writing this up. I don't wanna spend too much time yapping, so I'll finish this a/n at the end teehee... but I spent sm time on this chapter so I hope u all like it!! enjoy the final installment of my fave ff ive ever written!

★ w.c.; 7.4k

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THE FEELING OF WETNESS on your skin roused you from your slumber. Groggily, you glanced up at the ceiling. It was higher than you remembered, a little grander. In fact, the bed you woke up in didn’t seem to have been yours at all. It was a hell of a lot bigger, and it had wine red sheets laid over it.

There was a black cat on top of your chest. He was a lightweight thing, small paws pressing into your skin while he peered down at you curiously. His eyes were yellow, almost unreal. The cat hopped off of you.

You glanced down at your arm, the one that was crossed over your stomach. There was a wet patch on the skin there, like the feline fellow had licked you.

He had a cat?

There was a body next to you, a warmth – and you felt yourself breathe a sigh of relief. So it wasn’t a dream.

Slowly, you rolled over. Wakasa was sleeping peacefully next to you, golden brown lashes fanning over his rose-dusted cheeks, lips parted ever-so-slightly. His hair was down and slightly wavy, golden rays cascading over the red satin pillowcase like a halo around his face.

You felt your heart jump at the sight.

You reached out for him, pulling the stray hairs away from his nose and his mouth. He stirred, but only slightly, easing back into a deep sleep while you traced your finger over the slopes and valleys of his pretty face.

The black cat crawled into the gap between the two of you. He sniffed at Waka’s hair – who scrunched his nose up in his sleep. Finally, he turned around, letting his silky black tail glide over Waka’s nose as he settled down into the bed between you.

Waka woke up a moment later, tired eyes blinking slowly while he appeared to be remembering yesterday’s events – just as you had. A hundred million memories were trapped within the confines of his lavender hues, blinking at you like you had just been spat out from the heavens.

“G’mornin’,” He grumbled, the faintest grin flitting over his lips despite his apparent distaste for early mornings.

“Mornin’, Waka,” His name rolled off your tongue like butter. It felt natural. 

He folded the sheets down away from his face, stretching. 

“So…” You began, trailing off. There was an elephant in the room. “Last night…”

Wakasa chuckled. “Not g’nna tell me you regret it again, are ‘ya?”

“No, just that I meant it,” You sighed. It felt nice to admit that to him after all this time. “The part about lovin’ you. I meant it.”

He sighed, laying his head back on the pillow and smiling at the ceiling – you think. “Good,” he replied. “I meant it, too.”

And you felt the worries melt away. Felt your eyes crease as you leaned in closer to him, brushing your lips against his in a tender kiss. Then another. He was intoxicating. It made your head spin with bliss.

You pulled away when you felt him deepen the kiss. “Nooo,” You whined. “I have morning breath.”

Waka gripped your chin, deepening the kiss anyway – a borderline nasty mix of your morning breath and his, but you didn’t even care. Your hands found their way to his shoulders instinctively.

When he broke away, that grin was still on his face.

“We still on f’tonight?” He asked.

You glanced down at your surprisingly un-naked body. You were wearing one of his tee shirts.

“Yeah,” You said after a brief pause. “I should probably go home and get into some fresh clothes.”

Waka pouted. “You’re leavin’ me?”

“You’re literally gonna see me in, like, six hours,” You retorted, sliding out of bed with a great deal of effort. Your back was completely shot.

You really ought to remember you were going on 30.

When you turned around, he was still pouting. It was a little funny, actually. Here he was, a grown ass man, pouting while you threatened to leave the warm confines of his bed. Oddly domestic, but not entirely undesirable. 

You realized you could probably get used to this.

“I’ll be countin’ the seconds,'' he hummed, finally dropping his faux-angry facade in favor of snuggling into the wine-colored sheets. His cat hopped up over his legs, crawling over to him and curling up against his bare chest. 

With a faint smile, Waka petted his hands over the cat’s fur. He looked up at you, offering, “Matter of fact, can I take you home?”

You thought for a moment, briefly remembering that you really didn’t have another way home. Waka had been your form of transportation last night.

You shrugged, “Alright.”

Wakasa grinned like a child on christmas morning, hopping out of bed. He jogged over to you – still remarkably shirtless, though he had the decency to have put a new pair of boxers on.

You poked a playful finger into his chest, warning him, “No funny business, you hear? You’re gonna drop me off out front. You’re not coming inside.”

“I can do that,” he chuckled rather boyishly, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Waka,” You reiterated sternly. “I mean it. You’re not coming inside. Say it, say ‘I’m not coming insi–’”

“I’m not coming inside,” he sped out. Reaching into a drawer in the bedside table, he pulled out a shirt. “Now let’s go.”

There was some odd feeling you couldn’t shake as you gazed at your reflection in your pocket mirror. You looked… good. Better than you had in ages, actually.

Your eyebags had been covered up – thanks to some trusty concealer and a vision. Your lips were painted a deep shade of red, the same color Takeomi had always told you he hated. The same could be said about your lashes, which were done up with black mascara and curled to perfection. The slightest hint of red dusted your cheeks. 

You looked good.

Snapping the handheld mirror shut, you sighed. You glanced up at the wooden door in front of you. There was a wooden plaque to your left, one that was faintly illuminated by a warm light. It read; ARAGAWA.

You smoothed your hands over your black evening dress. 

You were here. You were actually here.

When you opened the oak door, you were greeted by a man with a warm smile. Immediately, you caught a whiff of something distinctly expensive – perfume, steak, wine. He was wearing a well-sculpted black suit. “Good evening, Miss, Welcome to Aragawa. Do you have a reservation?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I think…” You bit the inside of your lip. “I’m not sure what name he put it under, though. Imaushi Wakasa?”

“Miss [L/N], my apologies,” The man’s expression changed, as if the grand reveal of your reservation had caused him to warm up instantaneously. He stepped out from behind the table, gesturing to the small, carpeted set of stairs which led into the dining room. “Right this way, please. Emi will escort you to your table.”

You nodded politely, mustering an awkward smile. You stepped back, making your way down the aforementioned steps. 

There was a woman waiting for you off to the side. She had a short, brown bob and a cute button nose. The neckline of the black dress she wore plunged below her breasts. Against your better judgment, you felt your eyes wander.

She bowed in greeting when she saw you, “Good evening. Please follow me.”

You fiddled with the hem of your skirt, smiling warmly as she led you further into the dining room. The place looked expensive. There was red carpet all over the floors, amber and gold art all over the walls, and lantern lights over every table. There was a bar at the side of the room. She led you past it. 

The hostess stopped in front of a wooden stairway – one that led up. She turned to you and gestured to the stairs. “Right up these stairs, miss.”

“Thank you,” You bowed ever-so-slightly.

Somehow, you felt out of place at a restaurant like this.

As you made your way up the stairs, you felt your heart begin to race. 

The corridor you came into was dimly lit. There were two private dining rooms, one on your right and one on your left. You turned your head both ways, searching for a sign of your date. When you looked to your left for the second time, you saw him.

He was sitting at a circular table, a menu propped up in his hands. He looked so handsome that you felt your fucking heart do a somersault. 

The room was small, but it looked bougie. There was a golden Chandelier above the table. Behind the table, a large wooden shelf displayed bottles of red wine with expensive names – Sauvignon, Merlot, and so many more. A tasteful painting hung next to a set of double doors, behind which you could only assume lie the kitchen.

The wine-colored napkins were folded neatly on the table, along with a set of silverware, a fancy-looking wine glass, and an empty water glass.

You sauntered into the private dining room with your head down and your hands clasped around your clutch purse. Wakasa noticed you the moment you arrived, pretty eyes twinkling beneath the warm candle light as they flitted up to you. Immediately, his resting bitch face melted into a familiar grin.

“Long time no see, princess,” He greeted you. Before you could sit down, he stood up – and, shit, if your heart wasn’t racing before, it was now. 

He was dressed to the nines tonight, something uncharacteristically nice. It should have been illegal for a white suit jacket to fit someone’s body like that, tailored curves hugging the slopes of his waist and shoulders. He wore a black dress shirt beneath – first few buttons undone, just the way you knew he normally liked to wear his shirts. The matching slack hugged his hips and fell loosely over his legs. He had a gold chain around his neck, one that glimmered beneath the romantic lighting.

And his hair – fuck – his hair was done back into a bun. A single intentional strip of hair was left out to frame his handsome face. His eyes, his lips, his cheekbones, his chiseled jaw… he was perfect.

“That dress is perfect on you,” Waka took your hand with a gentle firmness, raising it to his lips and pressing a chaste kiss to the top of it. “You look stunnin’ tonight, baby.”

He stepped around you, pulling your chair out from beneath the table. 

 “Thanks. Not too shabby, yourself,” You felt your face flush. With a timid smile, you replied sarcastically, “You’re all dressed up tonight. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothin’. Just a date with the most beautiful woman in the world,” he answered. “Sit down. I just ordered us an appetizer.”

What a schmoozer, You rolled your eyes. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered by his comment. He always knew what to say to get you going.

You took a seat, smoothing your hands over your dress, setting your clutch on the table.

Wakasa walked around the table to sit in front of you. You noticed his glass of water was half full. He must have been waiting for me.

“Sorry if I kept you waiting,” You hummed quietly, tucking your hair behind your ear and reaching for the menu. “My makeup took a lot longer than I thought it would.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Love,” He dismissed your concerns with a wave of his hand. His eyes drank you in almost hungrily. “You look good.”

Love. You felt your cheeks warm at the nickname. It took every ounce of restraint you had to not hop the table and kiss him right then and there.

You returned your gaze to the menu in your hands. The pages were lined with fancy sounding steaks and obnoxiously high prices. You winced, though your gaze trailed over the options with a sense of yearning. Everything here looks so good.

“D’you like red wine?” He asked you suddenly. He was watching you with an earnest expression on his face, chin perched on his palm. 

With a quiet hum, you nodded. “It’s a rare treat for me. Why?”

“I ordered the house wine. I heard it’s good,” He mused quietly. His eyes lingered on your neck, where you knew a dainty gold necklace was fastened. 

And he smiled at you. 

“Takeomi never took me out to dinner,” You blurted out nervously.

Great. Let’s talk about my ex on the first date.

Wakasa didn’t seem to mind it, though you took note of the way his lip twitched when you said his name. 

“His loss,” Was all he said, licking his lips. He looked like he was going to say something else, like there was another sassy remark on the tip of his tongue, but he was interrupted by the sound of double doors opening. He glanced behind you.

When you turned around, you saw another pretty, young waitress holding a bottle of wine and a vase of… flowers. There were two more men behind her, holding two more — albeit much larger — floral arrangements.

You knitted your brows with a quiet interest. The vase she set down was a burst of color amidst the intimate ambiance. It looked like a spring arrangement — colorful lilies, dahlias, and all sorts of other flowers you didn’t know the name of.

“How pretty,” you mused quietly, raking your eyes over the vase the restaurant had so generously provided. The two larger vases were placed on either side of the table — making it so that you and Waka were framed by the pretty petals like something out of a movie.

How romantic.

The waitress popped the cork off of the wine bottle. She grabbed your empty wine glass by the stem — then, with practiced ease, she poured your wine. 

“Thank you,” You nodded at the girl. You took the glass up in your hand, swishing the crimson liquid around until it sloshed around the bottom. “For everything— the flowers are nice, too.”

“I knew you would like them,” Wakasa remarked. Sitting back in his seat, he allowed the woman to pour him a glass.

She set the bottle on the table. Then, with a curt bow, she quietly excused herself.

You raised a brow at him. “You picked these?”

Wakasa mirrored your action from earlier, giving the deep-colored liquid a few swishes. “‘Course, princess,” He answered. “They’re yours.”

With wide eyes, you glanced over at one of the bigger vases. “All of this is… for me?” You asked.

“All for you, baby,” He replied.

You looked back at him with even wider eyes. You feared that if he made one more outlandish statement, they would pop right out of their sockets. “They look so expensive, Waka, I— …I don’t even know how we’re gonna get these out of here!”

“I’ll have one of my guys bring them to your house,” Waka rolled the stem of his glass between his thumb and his index finger. His lavender hues flicked up to your painted red lips. “I was gonna have ‘em sent there in the first place but, y’know… would’a ruined the surprise.”

You spared one more glance at one of the large bouquets. It was huge — weeping stems and bright flowers spilling out over the edge and towering at least two feet tall.

“Waka, this is too much…” You licked your lips, looking back at him. You almost wished you hadn’t. Fuck, it should be illegal for blondes to look that good. “I can’t accept this— I can’t repay you for-“

“You’re not repaying me for anything, Mama,” He hummed. That devilish grin of his was gonna be the death of you. “I told you I could treat you better than that bum you were fuckin’ with before. I plan on makin’ good on that promise.”

“But—“

“Let me spoil you, princess,” He added, instantaneously shutting down any argument that had formed in the back of your mind. “Can’t treat you good unless you let me, yeah?”

You sat back with a pout, though it melted into a shy grin. You felt the blush creeping in at his words — again, it took a great deal of restraint to keep from kissing him right then and there. “M’kay… thank you, Waka.”

“Anythin’ for you, Mama,” He smiled back. He reached over the table with his spare hand, taking your fingers into his grasp reassuringly. 

“Now I don’t want you to worry your pretty little head about money again, okay?” He warned you rather sternly, though you could tell there was a grain of humor behind it. “You know that’s not an issue for me, and even if it was… that’s for me to worry ‘bout. All you gotta do is sit there and look pretty with whatever I buy you.”

A horde of angry butterflies paraded through your stomach, your chest, leaving a trail of red blush over your face. You had to avert your gaze, pressing your thighs together beneath the table. 

“Okay…” You murmured timidly, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Thank you, Waka.”

Woah… so crazy how you were dripping wet, all of a sudden.

He released your hand just as the waitress returned. The two of you fell back into a comfortable silence — you basked in the warmth in your cheeks, your neck, your whole body.

“Are you two ready to order?” She asked.

You had completely forgotten about the menu. Quickly, you flipped it open, scanning the page for something that looked interesting. 

“I think we’re ready,” Wakasa said. He adjusted the cuffs of his jacket. With a warm smile, he asked you, “Whad’ya gonna have, my love?”

You felt the tips of your ears burn at the nickname. 

Fuck. You were going to combust.

“I’ll take the Sanda Beefsteak meal,” You told her. “Could I have that cooked medium well?” You asked.

The waitress nodded. Then, she turned to Wakasa with the same polite smile she had greeted you with. “And you, sir?”

“I’ll have the same,” He rattled off. Gently, he pulled the menu from your grasp, stacking it over his and handing it off to the girl. “Thank you,” he said.

You were melting into your seat. There was something about a man who was nice to food service workers that was just….

“We’re on a date right now,” You blurted out rather awkwardly, as if you were still attempting to process it – nevermind the flowers and the dinner and… well, everything else. 

He turned to face you with an expression which could only be described as lovestruck, half lidded eyes settling over your painted lips before he answered, “We are.”

He reached for his glass again, this time holding it towards you. “Wanna make a toast?”

You reached for your own, rolling it between your pinched fingers with a pensive hum. You thought for a moment, then you giggled, “I can’t think of anything.”

Waka pouted playfully, “I’m right here.”

“Okay, okay,” You laughed. You held your glass up to the sky, translucent rim glimmering beneath the candlelight. “To the beginning of something beautiful… and… and the end of something terrible.”

He smiled, then he laughed – the melody made your heart skip a beat. “Movin’ a bit fast, ain’t we?” He asked. “Weren’t we friends, like, two days ago?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. What do I have to lose? “Says the one who likes to say “I love you” during sex.”

 “Who said it back?” he mused, holding his own serving of wine towards you. He leaned over the table, eyes darkening, “You loved all of me last night, ain’t you, pretty thing?”

“I can drink to that,” You giggled. 

The glasses clinked against one another and it was as if you had finally stepped into a new chapter – with him by your side. As long as you had that, you felt everything else would fall into place.

As long as you had him.

Dinner was a joyful blur. As the night unfolded, the two of you reveled in one other's company, savoring every moment. Laughter intertwined with the aroma of exquisite dishes. Time seemed to slip away as you enjoyed the many various culinary delights. It was perfect, him, the food… all of it.

Dessert had been brought out thirty minutes ago, on a cart adorned with an array of rich, sweet treats. At Waka’s request, the two of you had sampled just about everything. You indulged in the rare chance to taste such decadent flavors rather shamelessly.

You had eaten a few tarts, a piece of some chocolate cake… some other desserts, too, but you had far since lost track. 

You leaned back in your chair, shamelessly holding your stomach, a satisfied smile playing on your lips. “I’ve never felt so full in my life,” You confessed. Though you knew you looked tired, you were genuine in your next words, “Thank you, Waka. I mean it.”

Wakasa, with his shin perched on his hand, gazed at her lovingly. His pretty face was flushed with the faintest hue of red, as much of a testament to your wine tasting experience as the rosy stain on his lips was. After three or four glasses (maybe more), his eyes were droopy, half lidded, and shamelessly gazing into yours. He looked like he, too, had put in a great amount of effort to keep his hands off of you all night.

This very well may have been the longest the two of you had ever gone alone together in a room without kissing one another.

“‘Course, baby,” He said. His voice seemed to have dropped a pitch during the evening, suddenly rather heavy with desire. “I’m glad you enjoyed.”

Ignoring the warmth of your own reckless drinking habit, you pointed out the nearly untouched brown cake on his plate. “You barely touched your dessert.”

“‘M stuffed, baby,” Waka sighed, leaning back. “Plus, I gotta cut down on the sweets. I’m putin’ on weight.”

You knitted your brows, pouting at his admission of insecurity. You didn’t doubt that there was a lot of maintenance involved in achieving a body like his. Still, you didn’t like the thought of him feeling bad about himself. 

“Why? You look perfect!” You tried to reassure him. The moment he opened his mouth to retort, you held up a finger, effectively silencing him. Him, the most dangerous man in Tokyo, if not all of Japan. “And don’t start callin’ me a liar,” You added, waving your finger around. “I think I got a good view last night. Though I could always take another look, just to make sure.”

I just said that out loud. You froze immediately, face flushed at your own admission. The moment you saw his expression shift, you regretted your choice of words.

He peered up at you through his pretty blonde lashes. “Don’t start,” he cautioned, a playful smirk on his devilishly handsome face. 

Again, his effect on you was instantaneous. You felt yourself grow hot beneath the layers of pretty clothes and makeup you were wearing – hot to your core.

So, being the little shit that you were, you played into it. 

“Start what?” You pouted, feigning innocence. 

“Somethin’ you won’t finish,” He retorted. His eyes were dark with desire, gaze sharp.

I want him to fuck me right here, you thought. Not long after that, a brilliant idea crossed your mind.

Slowly, you kicked off your heel. You searched for the toe of his shoe, sliding your foot up his calf.  

“Who says I won’t finish it?” You teased, folding your hands together in front of your lips. Your foot brushed over his knee, his thigh.

He hummed in response. “Don’t– don’t play with me,” He stuttered – actually stuttered – when you put your foot over his crotch. Immediately, you felt him twitch beneath your fleeting touch. His eyes were on you, weighted with lust. “I’ll bend you over this table in front’a everybody.”

“That just won’t do,” You feigned surprise, widening your eyes. Your tone was condescending, exaggerating every syllable that left your lips. “Stop misbehaving. This is a classy establishment.”

He leaned over the table ever-so-slightly. “You gonna make me?”

The young waitress returned at the perfect time, holding a checkbook in hand. She set the sleek black book upon the table, bowing slightly as she did so. 

“Your card, sir,” She spoke politely. Then, she turned to you, doing the same respectful bow. “Thank you for dining with us tonight. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening.”

Without so much as another word, she was gone. 

You hadn’t stopped your ministrations once in her presence, hoping the tablecloth had done a good enough job at concealing the way you were rubbing him through his slacks. He was hot and hard underneath your sole.

It’s so easy to get him riled up, you noted with the faintest smirk upon your lips.

“Say,” He remarked, flipping the checkbook open and clicking the pen against the table. Without looking at you, he scribbled down a few numbers – the tip, you assumed, because it looked steep. When he was done, he took his black card and closed the book, returning his gaze to you. “How do you feel about dessert?”

Speaking in code now, are we?

“I think…” You put a little more weight onto your foot, dropping your voice to a murmur. “I think you should bring the car ‘round front,” You leaned in. You were all but whispering into his ear by that point. “And get us the hell out of here.”

He stifled a groan. “Should I?” He grinned.

“You should,” You nodded, licking your lips. When you felt you had gotten your point across, you let your foot touch the ground, slipping effortlessly back into your shoe. “I think I wanna take my dessert to-go.”

Wakasa, caught up in the spontaneity of the moment, stood up so quickly that his chair scraped unceremoniously against the floor. His enthusiasm was palpable. “We can beat the traffic if we leave now,” he suggested with a smile – one that you knew was a disguise for his lust-ridden expression. “Like, right now.”

He dusted his hands off on his coat, walking around the round table.

“Waka, what traffic? It’s 10 PM–” You began, but your witty retort was cut short as he pulled you up by your arm. 

He had all but dragged you out of the restaurant. 

Wakasa had to have been doing at least 30 over the speed limit the whole way home. As he maneuvered through the streets with an unusual speed for the hour, the cityscape blurred into streaks of light. The rumbling of the engine was loud, even more so from where you were seated between his legs. He had his slacks unzipped just enough for you to get your mouth around him. With one hand on the wheel, he gripped a fistful of your hair in the other. 

You went at it like you were made for it. Up and down, up and down, fitting him all the way in until the head of his cock bumped the back of your throat. 

You were sucking and slurping on him so lewdly that it caught you by surprise. 

"Mmm, baby," he whined, glancing down with a playful smirk. "Couldn't wait 'til we got home, hm?" Gently, he pulled your hair out of your face, tucking it neatly behind your ears. Then, immediately undoing his own work, he twisted your hair around his fist and fucked your mouth.

You made a noise in response, though it was broken up by the nasty, dirty sound you made every time you gagged on his dick. You peered up at him through half-lidded eyes, through long, wispy lashes, leaving a trail of saliva running down his thighs, strings of spit trailing down his cock.

He gripped your hair a little tighter. “Mmh,” he groaned, “Shi-it.”

And you just sat back and let him use you. You knew it was wrong, you knew it was fucking filthy and deplorable. You didn’t care. You loved it.

With a shudder and a moan, he pushed your head down a little further. You gagged on it again, swallowing him down, tightening your throat around him like you were made to suck his dick. 

The car swerved to the right. You felt your stomach drop. One wrong move and we could crash.

His focus shifted rapidly between the road and the dangerous display of affection unfolding beneath the dim glow of the dashboard.

He pulled you up by the roots of your hair, and you took the cue to slurp on his leaky tip. You wrapped your hands around what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, stroking, swirling, slurping – you felt like his personal whore. 

The car shifted rather suddenly. You lurched to the side. Before you could remind him to keep his eyes on the road, he shoved your head down, forcing you to take him to the hilt – until your nose was pressed up against his navel, until you gagged so hard on him that your throat made a vile ‘gluck’ sound.

Only a moment later, the car began to slow down. You assumed the two of you were approaching a red light. What you hadn’t expected, however, was for the car to glide over the indentations that marked the beginning of the shoulder.

Then the car stopped.

You pulled off of him, furrowing your brows, licking your swollen lips. You struggled to catch your breath, gasping out, “Waka… Where… What happened?”

He said nothing but, instead, put the car in park. He put his chair back. Then, without so much as a kind warning, he grabbed you by the hair, pulling you up into his lap.

Immediately, he searched for your lips – pressing his against yours in a passionate, intense dance of teeth and tongue. You felt exposed like this; out in the open with nothing but some tinted windows and a few dim street lights to conceal what the two of you were doing – but not entirely opposed to it. The thought of being caught like this thrilled you.

It was rushed, it was messy, it was hot – so hot. You felt yourself burning up beneath his touch. 

 He smacked your ass, grunting, “Backseat, baby.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. Quickly, you climbed over him, messily stumbling over the center console and sliding into the backseat. He zipped himself up, but only for a moment, quickly throwing the door open and sliding into the backseat with you.

"You look so good t’nite," His eyes dropped to your mouth, hungry and feral. "Can’t wait any longer." 

Then he pressed his lips to yours, and all of the air left your lungs. He slid his tongue against your lip, and you began to get lost in the kiss rather quickly, hands sliding up his shoulders, his neck, his chest. You straddled his waist, not even caring that the fabric of your skirt had ridden up to your waist, revealing your stark lack of underwear beneath your choice of attire. 

Not that you were planning on getting lucky, of course. You know… it just… happened to work out that way.

His hand had wrapped itself around your neck when the two of you disconnected – he was being uncharacteristically rough tonight, but you didn’t have any opposition to it. Waka pressed his forehead against yours, lips hovering inches away, breath fanning over your lips.

“You’re drippin’ on me, baby,” He panted. When you looked down, you noticed that you were, in fact, dripping – having left a wet spot on his white slacks. He laughed against your lips, slightly winded, “G’nna make me fuck you on the highway. You want that?”

Yes. You wanted him. Right now, right here in the back of his expensive car.

You nodded. 

“You got so wet from suckin’ me off,” He let out an airy chuckle, tired eyes peering right into the depths of your soul. Slowly, teasingly, he reached for your cunt. “No panties either, hmm? Think I’d slip right into ‘ya. Wanna try it?”

"Ngh…" You mewled. His hand around your throat was making you dizzy with desire. Still, licking your lips, you found the strength to nod.

"Dirty girl," he seethed. His thumb pressed deeper into your neck, mouth ghosting over yours. Unable to resist anymore, you rolled your hips down again… and again. He smirked against your lips, “You gonna take all of it?”

You were too shy to reply. Instead, you buried your nose in his neck, pressing hot kisses to his warm skin. The taste of his cologne lingered on your tongue. He released your neck, going for the back of your head next – taking a fistful of your hair again and pulling it taut.

You gasped, letting him pull your head back.

“I asked you a question, Mama,” He repeated himself. His tone was low, dangerous… threatening. “You gonna take it all f’me?”

“Mhm,” You whimpered, feeling him replace his large hand around your neck.

He pressed forward for another kiss, although this time there was something more passionate about it. His tongue swiftly entered your mouth, and with it came the lingering taste of chocolate cake. You welcomed it, bringing your hands up to the back of his head. His grip on your neck tightened as he tilted your head to get a better angle into your mouth. The restriction of your airway filled your mind with a blissful haze.

You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him closer, closer. His kisses were making you weak, dizzy with pleasure. Well, that and the fact that his grip on your trachea was unrelenting. When his fingers stopped digging into your skin, the air came rushing back to you. 

You gasped again, and then one more time as he lifted you off of his lap.

“That’s right,” He growled. He fiddled with the zipper of his pants, sliding them back down, past his hips. Thanks to you, he didn’t have any boxers to push aside – or any need for lubricant, for that matter.

You tried your best to feel shame at the prospect of being on the side of the literal highway where anyone could see you. (Tinted windows. Something you had forgotten about.) But there was little room for doubt when he positioned his tip at your entrance and then promptly slid into you.

“Fuck!” You cried out, fingernails digging into his pale shoulders.

"You got it, baby," He growled against your lips. This was wrong. Very wrong. But the moment his tip bumped your cervix, you threw your morals out the window.

You whined, moving your hips against his. He was right there, right where he needed to be, and the blissful slide of his dick against your wet walls made your vision go white at the edges.

"No panties under that dress – achin’ to be fucked right where everyone can see you. So filthy, hm?” He immediately picked up the pace, gripping your hips to lift and slam you down on his cock. The quiet groan of 'shit' that left his lips when your hips began to meet him halfway was anything but holy. "My dirty girl."

"I'm not--" Your sentence broke off into a long, drawn out moan as he slid back inside of you. "Fu-uck. Harder!”

"Harder, baby?" He teased before swiftly pulling out of you. He brought your skirt up higher around your waist. You felt exposed and -- quite frankly -- a little nervous. Just past the rearview window, you could see the cars flying by. Then you looked back at him, and you melted a bit.

He eyed you up almost animalistically. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looked like he wanted to fucking eat you up. 

He thrust his hips up sharply, snapping against your ass – pulling you down harshly in the same motion. He sheathed himself entirely in your warmth in a way that had you screaming out for him.

You cried out, feeling the table jolt with the force of his sudden thrust.

"Waka, baby!" You gasped out. Your nerves burned with the sudden sensation of him bottoming out. You struggled to accommodate his girth under such short notice, but, fuck, it felt good. 

He spared no time with picking up a fast pace, hips snapping forcefully against your ass. You had no time to adjust to him, no. Instead, apparently, Wakasa had made it his mission to fuck you senseless.

"I love you," he moaned. It was like music to your fucking ears. "Fuck, I love you."

With the slick of your arousal already dripping down your thighs, there was little need for any excess lubricant. His hand tangled itself in your hair. The other was looped firmly around your waist. 

"Be my girl," He purred, following your line of sight to the body-length mirror in the living room. You could just barely make out the devious expression sitting firmly on his usually emotionless features. He dropped down to grip your neck, pulling the upper half of your body up while keeping your lower half anchored to the table. "Please– be my girl, baby."

Then, if it were even possible, his thrusts became more forceful. The car jumped in tandem. 

He bottomed out inside of you once more. At this angle, he found your sweet spot with every single thrust. His brutal speed was unrelenting. Eyes unfocused, your nails scratched at his shoulders, at his leather interior, searching desperately for something to grab onto while he piledrove you into oblivion.

“Say yes," he whimpered weakly. He attacked the side of your neck, teeth and lips tugging harshly on the sensitive skin. You clenched around him. Your reaction caused him to moan loudly against your neck. “Please, fuck, be my girl.”

"Yes!" you managed to get out. “I’m your girl –”

You honestly felt bad for whoever was driving by with their windows down at this point, because your moans had become a lot more similar to screams in lieu of recent events (recent events, of course, being Wakasa’s goal of ruining your chances of walking tomorrow).

He let out a pleased groan at your willingness to let him abuse the everloving shit out of your pussy. "My girl," he hummed. "My girl, only mine– fuck– I love you."

You were his girl. You had always been his girl, right from the start.

His hips stuttered. "Say it back," he growled. 

You couldn't take it anymore. The pleasure was far too much to bear. It was making your mind go blank. 

You bit back a moan, feeling your legs begin to tremble again with the weight of your impending release. You were close, too close to resist him. You raked your eyes up his shirtless form in the mirror, watching as his mouth parted to release a few shaky breaths. His legs shook against the back of your own. The muscles in his abdomen tensed up.

Guess I'm not the only one getting close to losing it.

"Yes! Yes!" You gasped out as he landed another smack on your thigh. "I’m your girl, fuck– yes!" His eyes met yours in a lustful daze. “Love you, Waka–”

His.

You had always been that, hadn't you? You'd simply been too blind to see it.

"Mine," He growled back in response. "No one else's."

You were getting closer now. The coil in your stomach was pulled as tight as it could go. "Mmh- yours! P-Please!"

You hadn’t cum this fast in… well, actually, maybe not. He seemed to have that effect on you.

"Cummin’" Waka shuddered. “Cummin’, baby, shit–”

The coil snapped, and your hips jolted rhythmically against him. You felt your walls clench around his dick, a sensation that made him lurch forward and reach his own orgasm.

"Fuck, baby, ‘m--" You cried out. This one hit you even harder than before, wave after wave of powerful pleasure shooting through you at the speed of light – back arching as he spilled into you.

He went for your lips again immediately after, kissing you softly while the two of you came down from your high. He kissed you breathlessly, passionately, like he would die if he stopped.

“You wanna come back to mine?” He asked. His forehead pressed against your own, his eyes glimmering with a slight hint of mischief. Above all else, though, they held promises of safety.“I can make us some dinner. I don’t want you walking home high at night, not in this neighborhood.”

“What a gentleman,” you mused. Sarcastically, of course, but not really.

“I can be whatever you want me to be tonight, dollface.” Wakasa grinned ear to ear, pressing another kiss to your sore lips. “Just say the word.”

You pulled away from him with a breathless laugh. “We did it in your backseat the first time we hooked up, too, didn’t we?”

“Mhm,” He hummed, melting back into the seat. 

His cum was still warm inside of you, spilling down his dick, your thighs, his lap. You kissed him again. “And now you’re my boyfriend.”

He laughed quietly, “Bad timing?”

“A bit,” You smiled. You pulled back, drinking in the sight of him like this – blond hair wild and messy, lips swollen and parted, face dusted with a rosy hue. His lilac irises were locked onto yours like you had just fallen out of the sky. Like he worshiped you.

Then you squealed, grinning ear to ear, “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Boyfriend makes it sound like we’re highschool sweethearts, or somethin’,” He chuckled. He wiped the sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. Pressing a chaste kiss to the apple of your neck, he added, “You can tell all your friends that the White Leopard’s y’er man.”

“You’re my man,” You repeated. The grin on your face was bright enough to power an entire city.

He replied, “You’re my girl, yeah? Everyone’s g’nna know you’re Waka’s girl.”

You kissed his forehead. “Waka’s girl,” You hummed, snuggling into his chest. “That’s got a nice ring to it.”

a/n: aaaand we have a (surprisingly) happy ending!!! omg. it has been too long. party monster has been in the works for a little under a year now. I hope u dont mind the hiatus, I was putting off workin on this chapter because I didnt want this story to end lol.... it's been such a long road. im so grateful for every single one of u. but id like to give a special shout out to @xiedoll ... they were my first ever fan! ill never forget when u commented on my ao3, ur comments are what really inspired me to adapt this one shot into a fullfic! there are so many of you id also love to thank. @sin-and-punishment, you have been such an avid supporter! omg! so many names, I can't possibly tag them all. I actually do have a sequel plotted out for party monster, one which I may or may not publish. let me know!!! I'm gonna upload an epilogue after this, then I'm done with (book one of) party monster. thank you all for staying tuned in for my rare updates, and for being so active in the comment section. my heart goes out to each n every one of you. as always, leave your comments and thoughts below!!! let me know what you thought about the ending (for this book ;)) with love, Leo!!!

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own tr or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaaabean , @galactict3a , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @wakashawty , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @sin-and-punishment , @mztoman , @xiedoll , @bontensbabygirl , @strawberrychrome , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @yunaime9 , @redlittlequeen , @leviane , @mrai12 , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @chocoyanchan , @cookiezncream1 , @cawwn , @lik0 , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @peachesncats , @armani78 , @iluvizana, @cookiesandcreammy , @mikeys-bike-slut, @megumissunshine, @kzuyji , @menrami, @stardewsx , @pjmo-ri-ka-wa , @shuujin @kira-rrh , @ashllleyyy , @shinichiros-whore , @blackfire2013 , @cottoncandybubblebath , @releasethedraken , @captainmycaptainn

wanna join the taglist?| party monster! chapter index

𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

once upon a time, you wished for alhaitham to love you back just as much as you loved him. that was years ago though; now as the acting grand scribe for the acting grand sage, you both were widely known for the hate you have for each other.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 love hate, unrequited love (or is it), angst, implied insecurity about physical appearance, inspired from the fountain scene in atonement by ian mcewan. i suggest you watch the video first so you can imagine how the scene would look like!

𝐰𝐜 2.5k

he finally found you.

the swaying grass crunched under the soles of his boots as he slowly and menacingly walked towards you with your back facing him, not aware of what was about to come. he was getting nearer now, and yet you still didn't turn around; it was either because you didn't hear him at all or because you didn't care about his presence. knowing you, the latter sounded more reasonable.

you were sitting on the grass, right beside the crystal clear waterfalls of chinvat ravine, legs crossed and hair tied to keep the strands from blocking your view, but the wind didn't spare you from its wrath. your locks swayed gently along with the breeze, flying and curling like the roots of the divine tree holding up the sanctuary of surasthana, exposing your bare neck to him. even with your long sleeved dress, you bathed in the golden sumeru sunlight, not caring about the heat at all.

though you weren't looking at him at all, alhaitham's heart stubbornly skipped a beat, its pace picking up the longer he stared at you. you looked so peaceful sitting in silence that he almost turned away and let you be in your own quiet world. or maybe he would just sit beside you if you'd allow him to, then the two of you would listen to the singing of the dusk birds together, along with the calming sound of the running water from the waterfalls.

in another time, he would like to spend his mornings, afternoons, and nights with you; but right now, as the acting grand sage of the akademiya, work was priority.

and so, despite not wanting it, alhaitham broke the silence. "if I may ask, what is the acting grand scribe doing here?"

he saw your body tense up, shoulders raising slightly. it took you a whole minute before you decided to glance at him over your shoulder. as he expected, your usually gentle eyes were already narrowed, ready to bite at him. your plump lips were pursed in annoyance, and it took every bit of his sanity to not lean in and swipe his thumb over it. your cheeks were already starting to turn into a shade of red that reminded him of zaytun peaches. it was probably because of anger, or irritation. or both.

beautiful, he thought.

"acting grand sage alhaitham." you greeted him calmly, as opposed to the emotions you had on display. "i can ask you the same question."

alhaitham crossed his arms and stared down blankly at you. "i have some files i need you to arrange, and they should be at my desk tomorrow morning."

without breaking off the eye contact, you blinked twice as if you were contemplating on what to say. then you shrugged, appearing not to care at all. "alright."

he couldn't help but to think that the old you wouldn't act this way. years ago, you would've nod slowly with a soft smile gracing your lips, a smile that was reserved just for him, and a pale pink hue would settle on top of your skin because you were too flustered to even speak a word to him.

but times have changed now. he should not be thinking about the past, for it will only hinder his progress in the present. but how could he not, when the only person he could blame for the reason for your change was himself?

alhaitham tried to hide his growing impatience, both for your stubbornness and your attitude towards him. he frowned and pressed on, "it seemed like you didn't understand. i am asking you to return to your office in the akademiya."

"you already wasted my time by searching for you. i spent a precious hour just walking around the city asking people if they somehow saw you when i could've spent that hour finishing the rest of my work. even katayoun didn't know where you are, so i had to find you myself." he continued, voice sounding more cross in each sentence.

you sighed, not affected by his rants. fully turning around, he saw a writing quill tucked in your ear and some papers stacked on your lap. you took one of the papers and showed it to him. "i'm checking some of the students' research proposals before i can submit them to you for approval."

"and you couldn't do that in your office?"

"unlike some of us, i can't concentrate on my work when i am locked up in an enclosed space." you quickly bit back, glaring at him. "working here is much better. i can breathe in some fresh air and watch the dusk birds if i'm feeling overwhelmed by the never-ending paperwork."

alhaitham thought of what you said and almost agreed with you. from where he was standing, he could see the bright blue sky, and not to mention, the entire view of the city.

but his pride didn't allow him to back down, just like always. he can tolerate you being mad at him and hating him with all your heart, but he can't stand it when you ignore him.

so he added fuel to the fire and lectured you, "while you're at it, do you have more complaints? don't hesitate to inform me if you lack materials or things that you will need. you have a high position in the akademiya now, so it is important for you to have your work done in a proper manner."

you rolled your eyes. "office rooms make me nauseous." you said straightforwardly.

that made him scrunch his eyebrows in both confusion and concern. "nauseous?"

"there's no windows." you grumbled under your breath. alhaitham inhaled sharply, finally understanding the situation. he made a mental note to speak with some of the matra later and make a request to transfer you to a new room. maybe even use some of his sage funds to buy new decorations just for you, so you wouldn't feel lonely and cramped inside your office.

while he was thinking, he noticed that you turned around once again, continuing to check the papers on your own. he watched you write, quick but your handwriting remained neat and pleasing to look at. this was one of the reasons why he chose you to become the scribe.

he wasn't satisfied with just watching you. alhaitham got closer and bent down with one knee. striking up a conversation again, he began, "let me see what you're working on."

you flinched at the sudden close proximity. he noticed it, and he tried to stop himself from smirking.

your grip on your quill tightened. with gritted teeth, you told him, "i'm not yet finished. please be patient."

alhaitham peered at you innocently, making you glower even more at his unaffected state. "i just want to check if you're doing it correctly." he simply said.

"i told you it's not yet finished. and what do you mean by correctly? i can manage just fine on my own!" you defended, now starting to raise your voice. while you were distracted, he took the opportunity to take the paper you were writing on.

you yelped and protested, "hey! stop!"

he lifted up his arm so you wouldn't be able to reach it, looking down on you with a strange glint in his beautiful turquoise eyes. seething in anger, you slightly sat up and pressed a hand on his chest in a rough manner to hoist yourself up without losing balance. you tried to ignore the feeling of his defined muscles against your palm as you tried to snatch the paper from him.

alhaitham froze. for a moment, he thought he forgot how to breathe because of how close you were to him. he could see the flecks of light in your eyes, the number of your thick eyelashes, and the many imperfections on the surface of your skin, yet they looked soft to the touch. and your lips, your heavenly lips, were only inches away from his own. the way they were slightly parted made him think of how they would feel.

he lost all focus that the paper he was holding slipped away from his fingers. your jaw dropped in horror, gaze following the paper in the air as it slowly flew towards the river. you got off alhaitham and tried to chase after it, but you were unfortunately too late. the paper had already met the surface of the water, liquid seeping on its thin composition.

you looked at him in disbelief. "what have you done?"

alhaitham sighed, waving a hand. "don't fret too much. just take the printed copy and submit it to me." he said.

"i didn't print one." you quietly replied.

he turned to you and stared at you like you've grown two heads. "what?"

in a louder voice, you explained impatiently, "that's the original paper. i haven't printed a copy yet."

hearing your words, alhaitham felt a huge headache. it was a grave mistake not to keep a copy of the akademiya's files.

"this is why I told you to always duplicate important files immediately after you receive them from the students in case they are stolen, destroyed, or lost." he spoke carefully, trying to avoid getting frustrated. "these are their research papers, and i'm sure that as a former akademiya student, you know how much value those papers hold."

your hands formed into fists. "do not talk to me like that!" you weakly shouted.

one of his eyebrows raised in question. "like what? like an acting grand sage pointing out their scribe's mistake?"

to his surprise, you started tearing up. bright red then blossomed on your cheeks, signalling the chaos that was about to reach its boiling point.

"like a pompous ass who forced me to become the scribe!" you yelled, and the shrillness of your voice hurt his ears, but he continued listening anyway. "if you're so clever and oh so better than me, then why didn't you just be the grand sage and scribe at the same time? you just have to drag me into your shit so you could embarrass me in front of the mahamata!"

"to embarrass you is far from my—"

you pointed a finger at him in a threatening way, your eyes shooting daggers as sharp enough to kill him. "speak another word and i'll kick you so hard in your groin that your children wouldn't be able to have the same genes as you."

flabbergasted, alhaitham didn't dare utter another word. but when you started to unbutton your dress, he let out a sarcastic huff.

"the water is not safe." he said, trying to prevent you from wading through the fungi infested river. you ignored him and continued to undress.

you were about to pull down the upper part of your dress when you glanced at him, mouth open as if you were going to say something. he held your gaze, waiting for your retort. however, nothing came, and you only scowled at him while you finally slipped out of your dress, the clothing falling down to your feet.

he knew it was improper to stare. he wanted to look away, to give you respect and privacy and also because it was the right thing to do, but he can't he can't he can't—

the lacy camisole you were wearing underneath the dress clung tight to your body. your bra straps were visible, and because the camisole's length can only reach the middle of your exposed thighs, he can almost see your underwear. you were half naked right in front of him, but you didn't seem to care. why didn't you care?

ah, alhaitham thought, realization dawning upon him as you carefully walked towards the river and tested the temperature of the water first before taking a dive. you became nothing but a colorful blur under the aquamarine waters.

it was quiet for a moment. everything was quiet, until a distant memory flashed in his mind.

"you don't pass my aesthetic preferences and ideals for a partner. i consider both character and appearance when it comes to choosing a significant other, should that day ever come." he explained quickly, trying to get out of this awkward situation. more students were gathering around them, and that was the thing he despised the most: attention.

it became even worse when your lower lip started to tremble. just how pathetic can you be? confessing your feelings in the middle of a public place, the feelings that grew within you just by working on a single project together. you brought this to yourself. this was all your fault to begin with.

"are you saying i'm ugly?" you whispered, shaky voice sounding upset.

his gaze on you remained impassive. "i wouldn't use that term. that's too harsh, don't you think? i'd say...you're just not physically attractive, that's all.

"i'm not planning to consider you as my partner in a romantic relationship, today and in the near future. so i advise you to stay away from me to save yourself from the humiliation. have a nice day."

a loud splash interrupted his thoughts.

when you emerged from the water, your hands were clutching the soggy piece of paper, grip gentle as to not rip it off. damp pieces of hair framed your face, and the camisole, now transparent, hugged your wet form. your jaw was clenched, due to the cold or your hostility towards him; he doesn't know.

oxygen was knocked out of his lungs. alhaitham swallowed a lump in his throat and clenched his fist, reminding himself to breathe. you walked past him, not meeting his eye, and picked up your dress from the ground. you dressed hastily, your wet strands drenching your clothing in the process.

after you buttoned up, you turned your head sideways, finally acknowledging his presence but not making eye contact.

"i never wanted to be the acting grand scribe." you said, voice calm once again. "still, i apologize. i, who does not have a single clue about being a scribe because i'm only a librarian, apologize for not knowing what this job entails. but for just one day, can you please stop reminding me that i'm not as intelligent as you?"

he stayed quiet.

"have a nice day, acting grand sage." were your last words before you left him there standing dumbly on the grass. he can only watch as you walked away from him, hair swaying across your shoulders with each step you take. when you disappeared from his sight, he looked back at the water, the roiling surface yet to recover from its tranquillity, almost like you left some of your fury in it. alhaitham placed a hand flat on its surface, thinking about how the water touched your body mere moments ago, its calming arms caressing every inch of your skin. he doesn't want to feel jealous, but that he felt.

it has happened, much to his dread. you, who is possibly the only woman who can ever love someone like him, no longer have feelings for him. it was to be expected, but how can he live on when the only constant thing in his life finally left him for good?

alhaitham can only dip his hand in the water. it was the only closest thing to you that he could touch.

cold nights

husband!arlecchino x wife!reader wlw sfw angst

tw : angst, slight comfort, arle makes reader cry, reader is sad, arle doesnt know what to do, arle is bad at comforting but shes doing her best :(

sorry for being gone for ages, not proofread

arlecchino being a fatui harbinger meant that she would often always come home late after you, her 'dear' wife, had fell asleep. she prioritised work over everything and forget the plans you two would make. she often ends up neglecting you, it had been a while since she actually gave you affection, physically, or any words of affirmation.

more recently, arlecchino had been more distant than ever, you two barely talked or even saw each other. especially since she was always in and out the house and taking on unusual working hours. you knew her work was stressful. you understood that, but she would never take your advice to take breaks. you would usually bicker over these subjects over and over again, constantly.

even when today was your 2 year anniversary, today was no different to any other.

you woke up in the morning, alone as usual. the light rain hitting against the window reflected your state of mind. as your hold on the covers tighten, you just silently really hoped she had stayed in bed for just a while longer. not soon later, you got out of bed, the living room was cold since the heater was broken. you'd have to make a mental note to get it repaired.

knowing it was your 2 year anniversary, you had gone out and spent time to buy her a pretty silver ring and an beautiful boquet of flowers. her favourite of course, lumidouce bells. you had spent the whole day waiting for her to come home from work. you laid out your gifts for her on a table in your shared room, excited for her to come home. perhaps she was going to surprise you by pretending to forget.

but the hours passed.. seconds felt like hours.. before you knew it, it was already midnight, you were still waiting.

an gnawing feeling of disappointment and doubt was clawing at your heart. you had already cried a few times today. suddenly, you receive messages from childe. you were rather close with him. apparently, she had been seen around one of the new recruits around zapolyarny palace alot more recently. he thought it was only right to tell you.

you felt like tearing up all again. thoughts of arlecchino forgetting your 2 year anniversary and having an affair plagued your mind. you start doubting yourself as you look in the mirror. all you see are your puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks, glossy from the moonlight casted upon your shared bedroom.

you take a good look at yourself, wondering if you were ever even good enough for the infamous, unfeeling harbinger. you no longer felt like you were even relevant to her anymore.

arlecchino had already entered your home and walked into your shared room. you didnt even notice her presence especially since you so distraught. the second she walked in arlecchino noticed the gift box and bouquet of flowers.

it wasn't until she noticed then, the realisation had actually set in that it was your anniversary today. the intoxicating smell of lumidouse bells filled the air. she felt her heart heavy with guilt. her chest tighten slightly.

she saw you looking at yourself in the mirror, not noticing her. quietly she walks behind you. as she gets closer to you, she sees your teary eyes. she already knew this was all her fault. she felt remose drown out all her feelings, but she didn't show it, of course.

being too lost in your own thoughts, you didnt notice her until her arms wrapped around your waist. you was hit by the smell of her cologne. you flinched a little after being pulled out of your thoughts. you only just remembered you looked like a mess right now.

"my apologies, my dear.." she whispered lowly to you into your ear as she looks at you through the mirror.

arlecchino was warm. a warmth you hadn't felt for a while. you missed the days where she would cuddle up with you in bed, showering you with words of affirmation and just.. talk again. the thought of it made you tear up once more.

you lowered your head, pulling away from her. arlecchinos eyes narrowed with an hint of sadness. she was pained. you didn't want to be mad at her, but you both knew sorry wouldn't suffice.

"you always forget.." you whispered out. you really hoped your voice wasnt too hoarse for her to notice.

she took your hand, gently pulling you in once more. her eyes peered into yours. she could see the disappointment on your face, the puffy red eyes and your tear stained cheeks up close. she ran a hand through your hair, her gaze narrowing. she really wanted to fix things between you two, but she didn't know how to.

"i really am sorry... i got caught up in work-" she mused before getting cut off by you pulling away again from her touch. her hand that was running through your hair fell by her side immediately again. you denied her touch, she felt something stab her heart in a way she hasn't felt before. she didn't like it.

you didnt want to be angry at her. you was just disappointed that she had forgot about your anniversary. such an important date.. the day you two got married.. she had forgotten like she did all the dates you two would of planned and even adjusted to her schedule. you turned away from her.

"you say that all the time..." you replied quietly after a long pause. your voice was shaky despite how much you tried to stabilise it. you felt your throat closing up. that feeling of despair was bubbling in your stomach. you faced the balcony, away from her with your head hung low. you felt your eyes blur from the tears pooling in your eyes. you were a mess.

guilt consumed arlecchino as she watched you turn away from her, your words like a sharp dagger to her heart. she stepped closer towards you. her blackened hands firmly holding your shoulders in hopes of being able to get her words across to you.

"i mean it. please, look at me." she asked you with an subtle sigh of exhaustion.

you shook your head. you felt tears run down your cheek. you tighten your grip your clothes as your let our a breath you didn't know you was holding. arlecchino's lips pushed together subtly. she wanted to say so much, but she was never good at expressing herself. she didn't want people to know she was weak. especially not to you, she was your husband after all.

"childe told me that you have been around this new recruit for the past few weeks.. are they better than me? is that why you always come home late now?" you murmur, quietly with your voice cracking at the end.

your emotions were running wild all over the place. you were unable to control your feelings of anger and disappointment in her right now. arlecchino's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. her front cracking ever so slightly. you couldn't tell but from the inside she was getting panicky. she knows who your talking about.

unfortunately for arlecchino, she just had to work with this stupid new recruit who wouldn't get off her ass no matter how many times she had told her to. she quickly shook her head after being pulled out her thoughts.

"no. that's not it at all. i promise you." she paused, taking a moment to say the right words.

"yes, i have been working a lot more lately, but its not what you think dear." she felt her heart sink deeper the conversation dragged on.

she really hoped you didn't get the wrong idea. she should of known better. she should of just gotten rid of that shameless recruit when she didn't obey her commands to leave her alone.

your teeth gritted together at her words. it was so stupid. you felt like she was just feeding you lies just for the sake of it. you took a shaky breath.

"don't lie to me! you remembered their birthday yesterday and not our anniversary!" you raised your voice at her in anger as you turned to face her.

you could hear how held back your voice was. you didnt want to shout at her. your teary gaze met her stoic ones.

arlecchino stood there speechless, the realization sinking in. she saw the angered look on your face. she never saw it often and she hated it. her eyebrows furrowed slightly, she had indeed remembered that fatui recruit's birthday but not your anniversary. it was only because the recruit kept nagging arlecchino about it.

she shouldn't of listened to anything an pathetic, low life of an fatui recruit said. seeing you in such pain made her heart ache with guilt. she took a step closer, her expression filled with remorse.

"my dear, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to forget. i've just been so busy with work. please believe me, it's not about her-"

"i'm sure it is all about her! i know you were out late with her having dinner on her birthday! am i just a backup to you? is that all i am to you!?" you cry out. you felt your chest tighten.

arlecchino's heart clenched at your words. she was practically dragged into having dinner with her, but she had no romantic interest in the recruit. her eyes narrowed in subtle remorse and guilt.

"no, no, no. dear, your not a backup. not at all. your my priority, you know that already.."

she reached out, firmly holding your shoulders before you pushed her hands off you. she was getting more worried now, she didn't know what to do in moments like these.

"dont touch me!" you sobbed out, your voice hoarse.

"if you want to remember everything related to her and nothing about us, then fine! i dont want to see you right now!" you shouted at her. leaving the room, shutting the door with an small bang.

arlecchino took a few steps to go after you before stoping immediately. she nodded with an sigh as she processed your words. she wanted to reach out, to explain, but she knew she had hurt you deeply.

she knew she had did wrong. arlecchino was angry at herself for letting things get this bad. more sadness that she had caused you so much pain. arlecchino knew you preferred time alone to calm down. she knew it was only right to not see each other for now. she had to think of how to make everything all better. she could hear her head berating herself with insults and comments on how bad of an husband she is to you.

time ticked by slowly for arlecchino. the guilt and worry gnawed at her insides as she waited for you to come upstairs. she knew you needed time to cool down, but the silence was deafening. she replayed the argument in her head over and over, regretting every careless mistake she had made. her eyes drifted to the gifts you got her, a fresh bouquet of her favourite flowers and a pretty ring. she gently slide the ring onto her finger.

fuck you had even remembered her ring size.

arlecchino had taken you for granted, neglecting your needs and your relationship. she couldn't believe she let things get this bad. after two long, agonising hours, she couldn't bear it any longer. she walked out of your shared room and slowly made her way downstairs.

arlecchino quietly opened the living room door. she let out a shaky breath, feeling the coldness of the room. her eyes widened slightly as she saw you asleep on the couch, clutching the plushie she had gifted you not long ago in your arms. the room was dark, and she could see the gleam of fresh tears on your cheeks in the moonlight. the sight of you, alone and sleeping in the cold room broke her heart.

once again, she felt guilt rush to her heart, she knew that the heater was broken. arlecchino silently cursed herself for not being able to sustain you with the comfort and warmth you deserved.

arlecchino carefully walked closer to you, her footsteps almost inaudible. her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of your shivering form and the tears rolling down your cheeks, even in your sleep. she could only imagine that your dreams were plagued by negative thoughts, likely centered around her and the argument you two earlier tonight. the despair consumed at her heart, knowing she was responsible for your tears.

gently, she knelt down beside the couch. her hand instinctively reached out to wipe the tears from your cheek, her touch feather-light. she let out a shaky breath, it really was cold here. it was only then she had realised it had been weeks since she had been this close to you. the realization of her neglect only fueled her guilt. she gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her fingers lingering on your skin longer than they should of. she felt warmth bubble within her after being away from you for a while.

she really had to make up for everything, tenfold.

arlecchino thought it was only right to start showing she did care. she was never good with her words, just her actions. carefully, she lifted you into her arms. she carried you out of the cold room. her narrowed eyes softened slightly as she looked at your tear-stained face, still asleep from exhaustion.

quietly, she stepped into your shared bedroom and gently laid you down on the soft, warm bed. ensuring not to awake you from your sleep. as she tucked you under the warm covers, her heart swelled with love and guilt. arlecchino wanted to sleep with you. hug you and whisper sweet things into your ears. make it all up to you and take your pain away.

but not just yet. she knew she had no right to be near you just yet, especially not after all the pain she has caused you the past weeks. she had to respect you and give you space, for now. she thought it was only right if she got a taste of her own medicine. to atone to her mistakes.

she left the warm shared bedroom, closing the door with a soft click. arlecchino stood in the hallway for a moment, looking at the closed bedroom door. she took a deep breath, readying herself for the cold night ahead. she slowly walked down the stairs and settled back onto the cold couch in the living room.

she felt sick for leaving you alone so often. the couch was uncomfortable and cold, but she knew the night tonight was not as cold as the nights you had to endure without her.

she would take the week off for you. she will make sure to shower you with love and apologise to you. she will make sure to make up for forgetting the anniversary.

she may not always be the most expressive, but she wants to make sure you know she cares. you were the only spark in her life and she never wanted you to blow out.

she silently promised to show you the love and care you deserved, starting from this moment forward.

tbh i only thought of this bc my radiator was broken 😭

what lesbian situationship does to mfs

aka

caitvi matching pfps

ref

Happy pride Lawlighters 🖤🏳️‍🌈🤍

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

their s/o is the dendro archon! (vol. 2)

pairings (separately!) - kaeya alberich, scaramouche, dainsleif x gender neutral reader

word count - 15,671

genre - fluff, angst with comfort, suggestive

format - hcs + blurbs

warnings - crying, yelling, slight gore and harm (wounds, blood mention), skinship, [insults, semi nudity (scara in his boxers and nothing sexual implied about it), reader is addressed as "lilium" (a codename) for half of scaramouche's, and wearing jewelry in scaramouche's], spoilers for kaeya and dain's backstories, suggestive lines and actions in kaeya's

summary - you just happen to be the dendro archon, no big deal to him, right?

a/n - woohoo!! volume two is here with my beloved <3, my beloved: the sequel <3, and my beloved: the ultimate triquel <3, (aka kaeya, scara, and dain LOL). hope you enjoy! (scara's is loooooong bc plot go brrr, just a fair warning!)

disclaimer - i literally know nothing about the dendro archon or how the dendro element works asides from the fact that it's susceptible to pyro PFBFBT- so this is my interpretation of what both the personality of the dendro archon, their powers and the dendro element itself could be like! (this was also made and written BEFORE the actual canon release of the dendro archon!)

VOLUME ONE | ALBEDO, XIAO, AND KAZUHA

kaeya assumed you were just like any other gardener he'd ever met with the exception that you sold some of the most beautiful flowers in all of teyvat

diplomats from nearby fontaine, liyue, and once even an emissary from inazuma have all stopped by the city of freedom to purchase your lush blooms

what initially got his attention was your kind nature and sweet gestures

no child would ever walk past you and not receive a special flower to don in their breastpocket or hair complete with a radiant smile from you

kaeya would often saunter up to your little trolley of flowers, eyeing the vibrant verdant vision that swung from your hips, and purchase a single blue rose

he'd then place it behind your ear, complete with his signature charming grin and a "you look good in blue, doll" before leaving with a skip in his step

naturally, he charms his way into your life and soon you find yourself donning the title of "the cavalry captain's lover", and it's a title you adore ever so much

kaeya is naturally observant, and while seeing you work with your vision he can't help but pick up on some of the oddities that occur when you're requested to appraise lands or help farmers with their crops

he's aware that the capabilities of a vision bearer are unique to each individual, but there's something odd about your ability to bring forth an entire field of flowers, or nourish a perished tree back to life with a single kiss to its trunk (he once even caught sight of you bringing an entire nursery of dead flowers back to life with a single wave of your hand)

his trust in you begins to waver, and you'll have to take the reigns back into your hands to let him know that you aren't trying to deceive him

of course, you may have your apprehensions given that he's told you of his origins, but it's worth taking the risk instead of being dishonest with him and losing him forever

(scenario + more utc!)

"kaeya, my darling," you gently cooed to the figure standing in the doorway of your bedroom, "come here, let me see your face."

for once, kaeya offered no rebuttal and obediently sat by your side at the edge of the bed. that easy smile on your lips never faltered despite the obvious conflicting emotions that swirled in his eyes.

"are you okay?" you slipped your hands into his and thumbed the back of his knuckles, voice barely above a whisper.

his laugh was laced with ice and lacked its usual charming mirth. "you tell me, dollface?" though a smile weaved itself onto his lips, his eye was devoid of any joy. your easy smile began to falter.

defeated, you sighed and pressed your lips against his cheek as a peace offering. "i'm no mind reader, but i understand what's bothering you. so please, let me explain."

a simple nod of his head gave you all the permission you needed. "i am...not who you think i am," you paused, tongue searching for the right words. you rose your hand and unfurled your fingers, revealing a tiny, delicate green item that looked similar to a chess piece. it thrummed with life and pulsed gently, glowing a gentle, fern green. tiny, white flowers climbed up the sides of the object and wrapped around its base.

his eye wasn't meeting you, blown open in shock he could only stare at the rotating gnosis that floated in your hand.

"i'm the dendro archon."

somehow those four words managed to explain it all: the seemingly omnipotent power and ridiculous strength you carried all while maintaining an air of eloquence. it made so much more sense. the air around you dropped in temperature, icy particles bit at your skin and for once that periwinkle eye bathed in light that you loved so much and the tingles of his signature laugh felt void of life.

"when were you going to tell me? or, perhaps you were just going to keep it a secret had i not been onto you?" a wry grin didn't suit that beautiful face of his, you thought.

"kaeya-"

you were cut off by maniacal laughter, devoid of humor or even the slightest bit of emotion. you almost didn't recognize the man in front of you, whose laugh felt empty and hollow. his visible eye lacked its usual charming glow, and instead an icy cavern took its place.

"to think- that i had finally come across a miracle, only for you to be an archon? fate truly despises me, when will celestia be done taunting me?" with an almost defeated smile, kaeya looked up towards the ceiling with a shaky sigh. you felt your heart break.

he stood up from the bed and held his head in his hands, threading his fingers through his once neatly combed locks. his chest heaved with strangled breaths as he recalled the one thing that his father had engraved into his minds: the gods are not to be trusted.

you refused to let him slip away like this, not with how his hands shook or how his breath began to labor with each intake of air despite the fragile smile of disbelief on his face. before he could turn to leave, you rushed from the bed and flung your arms around his torso, squeezing with all the strength you had.

no matter how hard he pried and tried to get you off of him, you held on for dear life.

"i tried...so hard to protect them, kaeya. khaenri'ah is- was a beautiful nation." between sputters of sobs, you clutched the fabric of his shirt and prayed that he'd hear you out. tears rolled down the valleys of your face, but you made no move to swipe them away. "but the other gods...they wouldn't listen to me. dendro isn't a powerful element, i heal not destroy. and i was consequently looked down upon," you paused to move your hands from his waist to cup his face, stained with crystal clear tears, "i promise you, i tried with everything i had to protect them. but it wasn't enough, and i let them all perish because i was too weak-"

you tried to explain further only to be cut off by the bubble of sobs that escaped your throat, remembering the bloodied faces of the scared khaenri'ahan children you'd failed to protect and the looks of horror upon the faces of each and every citizen of khaenri'ah, watching as the gods descended upon them with murderous intent and slayed their children and elderly.

his heart pinched in his chest as you fell apart in his hands. kaeya moved his arms to hold you up against him once you began to sway and allowed you to press your tear covered face into the crook of his neck.

"h-hey now easy there, calm down." he whispered, though his own hands were shaking with fervor. you clung to him with all that you had and hiccupped into his skin as he rubbed his hand up and down your back to soothe your cries.

much to his surprise, little yellow flowers on a thin, green vine began to bloom from your body: taking root in your hair, encircling your neck and wrists, wrapping themselves like thin, wiry snakes around your entire body. the vine had come up to where his hand lay on your back and gently wrapped itself around his index finger.

"are you doing this?" he pried your face away from his neck and held up his index finger with a weak smile.

you felt your face heat up with embarrassment quickly wavingyour fingers so the flowers that surrounded your body faded into nothing but shimmering particles. "s-sorry...when my emotions get out of control that just happens sometimes."

the little yellow flower on his finger remained intact however, and his observant eye scanned it over in great detail. "the common rue flower..." he recalled staring into albedo's "great big book of flowers" as klee has called it, and reading the description of the symbolism behind the little yellow flower. his heart clenched and pounded in his stomach as you stared up at him with wide, watery eyes, still fearful of rejection.

the give of his heart was strong and elastic and it was more malleable than ever as he drew you into his arms and squeezed your body against his, gripping onto the little yellow rue in his fist.

"i'm sorry, darling. i shouldn't have gotten mad at you like that. not when you tried to help." he finalized his words with a kiss to your wet cheek, only for you to vigorously shake your head.

"no, no, i'm sorry for not being honest with you from the beginning." kaeya chuckled faintly and pulled you away from his body, holding your chin between his index and thumb fingers.

"i suppose now i can check "seducing an archon" off the bucket list, huh?" the playful lilt of his voice had returned, and so had the gentleness in his eye. you missed him, but you said so with a kiss to his lips rather than with the words caught in your throat.

after your talk and reconciliation, kaeya feels like a weight's been lifted off his chest

you couldn't help but agree: he doesn't have to keep his lingering resentment for the gods under wraps now, and you don't have to hide the fact that you're an archon anymore

though you can't help but wish you had gotten to kaeya first before the tsaritsa did

he laments that his vision was of ice: cold, immovable, stagnant, and akin to death

whereas your vision bloomed with life and held the capacity to heal and birth new possibilities

it makes you wish you had given him a vision before the tsaritsa had, but alas

once you learned of how he received it, part of you was relieved to know that he had the power of cryo to protect him because archons knows that a dendro vision would hardly suffice against pyro

he often drunkenly mused over the irony of your relationship: a khaenri'ahan descendant mixing with an archon of all people

his ancestors must have been rolling in their graves at the news

kaeya often thinks about his homeland, and you let him in on the secret that not a second goes by where you aren't haunted by the looks of horror of the khaenri'ahan citizens, to which he responded with a tight hug and a promise to stay by your side for as long as he could

kaeya additionally becomes more interested in your powers and how your emotions affect them

you have a tendency to produce flowers that hold the meaning of your emotions when intense

and boy does he get a kick out of it when a loving remark or sultry gaze ends up with you covered in wine red roses and carnations imbued with what looked like starlight

of course, he'll make up for his teasing with tons of cuddles and kisses!

"darling? have you seen my scarf?" kaeya popped his head into the doorway of your shared bedroom, only to find you sitting at his work desk, fluffy scarf in hand. you caught his eye once he announced his presence and gave him your best smile.

"right here," you cheekily lifted up the scarf, "just adding some details to it, i hope that's okay."

"oho? details like?" he sauntered over and kissed the top of your head, leaning one arm on the rim of the chair as he tried to get a peek at your handiwork. unluckily for him, with a wave of your hand a leafy vine gently wrapped itself around his visible eye, blocking his view.

"aw c'mon, sweetheart, i thought we agreed on not using your vision on me!" he teased, raising a hand to peel away the thick leaf from his eye, but you caught his wrist before he could proceed any further.

"nuh uh, no peeping yet, mister." kaeya could only cede with a short laugh and kissed the knuckle that held his wrist.

with a few swishes of a sewing needle, you finally declared his scarf, "finished!"

with a snap of your fingers, the leafy vine dissolved into particles and his eye finally came to rest upon his signature fur scarf snug in your hands.

miniature, royal blue roses had been imbued into the fabric of the fur and sprinkled all the way down to the end. the fur itself had been combed and washed and felt like new in his hands. "darling, you did all this for me?" he couldn't stop the grin from forming on his face as he leaned down to capture your lips in his as thanks.

"nope, clearly i was about to wrap it up all nice and pretty and take it as a gift to master diluc." you stuck your tongue out and looped the scarf around his neck, pulling him down closer to sneak a breathless kiss against his lips that had him gripping the arm of the chair for stability.

"ha ha, very funny, sweetheart." the bass of his voice purred against the shell of your ear once he pulled away, followed by a complimentary kaeya-esque grin full of wolfish charm.

"oh! and look!" gleefully, you shrugged off your coat, revealing a shirt tinted pale blue that hugged your body. the shoulders were lined with the same miniature blue roses and gleamed in the early morning light as if it were weaved from stars.

"i made a shirt for myself, so we can match! what do you think?" you beamed as you stood up, making sure to show off the little blue roses that decorated the fabric.

kaeya took your hand, whistled behind a sugary smile, and spun you around once to get a good look before drawing you flush against his chest and bringing his lips down to hover over your ear to whisper, "lovely, and it'd look even lovelier if it were on the floor," you felt your cheeks grow warm and plunged your face into the crook of his neck. kaeya huffed, an amused glint in his eye, gripped your chin to pull you away from his shoulder, and punctuated his words with a heated kiss against your lips that had your knees buckling. the sultry lilt of his voice and hot fan of his breath was enough to have you weak in his arms, ravaged by his kisses.

preoccupied with the taste of your lips on his, he hadn't noticed the slight poke of a rose thorn against his forearms, mistaking it for your nails. it wasn't until it sunk into his flesh hard enough to draw blood that he pulled away from your mouth and gawked at the sight before him.

glazed over with pure adoration, your eyes bore into his soul and reached within the depths of his heart to draw forth the pulsating affection from deep within. your breaths were heavy and heated, making up for the lack of air he had taken away from you. but, more importantly, tangles of deep, wine red roses and ruby carnations had burst forth from your body and nestled themselves into your locks. thick, green vines that held the roses and carnations wrapped around your torso and arms, and had snaked up to kaeya's body. the thorny talons of the rose had dug into his arm and produced a thin, stream of blood that ran down his skin towards his wrist.

"well," he started with a chuckle and plucked one of the roses from your hair, "this is most interesting. roses and carnations, hm? i wasn't aware you were so charmed with me, dove." he maintained eye contact all while that silver tongue of his got to work licking a single stripe up the side of his forearm where the thin stream of blood had appeared.

you tried to find the right words to speak, but to no avail. still too flustered, you opted to hastily brush the flowers out of your hair and from around your body dissolving into nothing but particles, only for new ones to immediately take their place, blooming out of thin air. upon seeing your frustrated pout and eyes that burned with adoration and hints of embarrassment, kaeya took it upon himself to draw you in by your waist and brush the rose he had plucked from your hair against the line of your jaw.

"you, my darling, are absolutely irresistible. adorable." between the two adjectives, he punctuated a kiss on either side of your cheek before settling on your nose. his heart melted when your nose scrunched up cutely upon impact.

you groaned out of embarrassment into the skin of his neck, opting to hide your flushed face. the flowers in your hair and around your body thrummed with life and burst forth in greater numbers when kaeya decided to run his baked palms up your sides and press one more loving kiss to your lips.

"i still wanna see that shirt come off though, we got time."

"kaeya!"

the fact that you're the dendro archon changes very little about your relationship with kaeya

he might have been hostile upon first finding out, but he knows that you were never truly at fault for what happened to his people

and, consequently, what happened to him

you're (y/n) to him, just (y/n) who happens to be a dendro vision holder

and you're the (y/n) that he loves with all his heart and would do anything for

despite the fact that he's already won your heart over, he'll still stop by your flower cart, purchase a blue rose, and stick it behind your ear followed by a flurry of kisses to your cheek and one big, tight, kaeya-esque hug

if you ask him why he keeps doing it, "to show that you're mine," will be his answer

and the way that he treasures the embroidered fur scarf you gave him is enough to show that he wants other people to know who he belongs to as well

when news that the dendro archon had gone into hiding reached the ears of the tsaritsa, least to say she was mildly irate

if you can count mild as sending chunks of ice hurling through the large windows of zapolyarny palace, that is

but fear not! for her most resourceful (and possibly strongest) harbinger was at her service the moment she summoned for him

scaramouche, upon being given the task of retrieving the dendro archon's gnosis, wasn't thrilled to say the least

dendro was arguably among the weaker of the elements, he'd have no fun taking such a valuable item from a being who controlled such a fickle substance

yet, he wasn't one to disobey her majesty's orders, and set off for sumeru to investigate

thankfully, he had your aid to assist him

you were a wandering informant scaramouche had met once in a brothel near the borders of mondstat and fontaine when you had managed to stop a scuffle between some fatui agents under his control and the brothel manager with your words and calm attitude

scaramouche came to respect your courage and you, his strength

you introduced yourself under the codename lilium with a warm smile

there isn't much he knows about you, other than you sell information and travel the lands. that, and you wielded a dendro vision.

in exchange for information, you only asked that a single stem of a flower be given in return (though scaramouche doesn't particularly care for this rule of yours and scoffed upon first hearing it)

scaramouche is reluctant to head to you for information given that he'd rather adorn the position of a lone wolf, but he'd get nowhere by being stubborn

you didn't flinch in the slightest when scaramouche, draped in a black hooded cloak and void of his signature hat, threw a battered weed, roots and all, onto your corner table and slammed his palm down onto the wood. the rest of the patrons in the sumeren tavern minded their business, much to his pleasure.

"tell me all you know about the whereabouts of the dendro archon." he muttered in a low voice.

you hummed, took a delicate sip from your glass of wolfhook juice, and scooped the piece of grass (which looked like he'd uprooted it whole with his fist) to inspect it.

"my, my, i thought you had better manners than this, scaramouche?"

"i thought you sold information, lilium, not prissy little guides to table manners." he spat.

"...fair point. though, you'll have to do better than this," you pause to limply hold up the half dead weed in your hand with a wry smile, "what you ask of me is grave information, therefore i require similar payment."

toying with scaramouche was always fun to you, but there was something quite odd about his behavior.

"how is it possible that you're coming off as more irate than usual?" the question itself was innocent in nature if not for the coy, upward tilt of your lips and the curious glint in your eyes.

"oh please," he scoffed and snatched the weed from the table, leaving behind crumbs of dried dirt, "give me twenty minutes."

twenty minutes came and went with you swinging your legs back and forth and taking casual sips from your glass. suddenly, the wooden door to the tavern burst open and in stomped scaramouche, arms full of bright red roses and baby pink carnations (with the roots still intact somehow). dirt scattered all over when he tossed the flowers onto your table with an agitated sneer to compliment the gesture.

"will these weeds suffice?"

"ah, scaramouche, you really must treat these flowers with more respect." you tutted, fingertips glowing in dendro gently grazing over the flowers. their petals became lush with vibrant colors and the roots withered away into dust until in your hands you cradled the most luscious and vivacious flowers scaramouche had ever laid eyes upon.

"well, you've paid your price," your leg moved to push out the wooden chair on the opposite end of your circular table, head gesturing for scaramouche to take a seat, "it's only fair that i hold up my end of the deal as well."

scaramouche huffed and muttered a "it's about time" under his breath before sitting down on the hard wooden chair. his hands traveled upwards to pull back the charcoal cloth that covered his stormy colored locks, electric violet eyes trained dangerously on your calm and easy smile.

"what specifically do you wish to ask, o high and mighty balladeer?" you cooed much like a parent to their child, drawing indecipherable shapes into the dents and grooves of the wooden table with your pointer finger.

"are you deaf? fine, i'll repeat it since you can't seem to let information process in that smooth brain of yours." scaramouche sneered, arms crossed firmly over his broad chest, "i need to know all you know of the dendro archon's whereabouts."

you clasped your hands in delight, lips perched into a gentle smile, "ah yes! well, you're quite lucky as i'm proficient in all things sumeru and everything related to the dendro archon!"

twisting in your seat, you rummaged through a tattered, beige, cloth satchel that hung from the back of your chair and from within emerged a map. once you spread it thin on the table, scaramouche recognized the geography as that of sumeru.

"being the god of wisdom," you start, fingers carefully running over the printed valleys and bowls of sand that littered the sumeran landscape, "they are one to first analyze and evaluate a situation before making a decisive decision. it's not likely that they've abandoned their people by going into hiding, rather they are in a safe environment that allows them to monitor the situation from afar knowing that their region is next in the gnosis hunt."

"wow, thanks, i could've told you that myself." scaramouche rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to make another crude remark only for the soft of your palm to connect with his lips, effectively shushing him for the time being.

"please let me finish, balladeer," if you weren't his best source of information, he would have had your head on a stick from the moment you placed your skin on his.

"the dendro archon is the most reclusive of the archons, and yet they are the most gentle among them," your pursed your lips and took a tentative sip from your violet glass of wolfhook juice, "they have many secret temples that are most likely to be in similar locations: far enough from the wandering eyes of people yet close enough so that they are able to efficiently watch over and protect their people."

"if anything, this god of theirs sounds like a coward." scaramouche snorted.

"hm, you might be right—about the dendro archon being a coward," a faint, almost nostalgic smile crossed your lips as your fingers traced the sweltering edges of your crystal glass, "but they are known to care deeply for their people. i wouldn't imagine they would ever let waste be laid to them."

"whatever, mark the temples on the map so i can get this over with." from his hands, scaramouche tossed a thin pencil onto the map and watched with pointed eyes as you hid a smile behind your hand. "mind telling me what's got you laughing like a hyena?" he sneered, leaning forwards with an intimidating glare on his face.

"it's not that easy to access their temples, after all they were built with the intention of staying hidden in plain sight," your fingers tapped the side of your glass in a steady rhythm, your eyes never straying from his gaze, "however, i know of a way to narrow down which temple they're hiding in, and how to access them. ah ah ah," you interrupted to hold up a finger in front of scaramouche's lips, parted as if he were about to come back with another demand, "there are certain requirements to being able to locate the temples."

scaramouche pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, choosing to exhale loudly through his nose in a bull-like manner rather than blurt out a line of expletives at how cryptic you were being. "what, are you implying that i'm weaker than you? you do know who i am, don't you? what are these so called requirements anyway?!"

"first of all," your hand brushed aside the silk-like fabric of your cloak to reveal your gleaming dendro vision, "you must be able to wield dendro, second of all, you must already have prior knowledge of the layout of sumeru and the habits of the dendro archon themself."

"what are you trying to get at, lilium?" scaramouche leaned forward, forearms dug into the wood of the table and violet, thundering irises narrowed into both curious and apprehensive slits. wisps of his stormy locks fell to the front of his face and you resisted with all your might the urge to tuck them back safely behind his ears.

"my, i thought you were more perceptive than that, scaramouche," you giggled and extended your hand, palm up in an offering of sorts, "i would like to make an offer with you, if you'd be so inclined as to humor me that is."

"i've humored you thus far, get on with it."

"in exchange for guidance to the temples, i would like to travel with you on your mission."

scaramouche felt the familiar tug of a frown on his lips. lone wolfing things has always been his go-to, and you were no more than a pit stop on this languid roadtrip of his to steal the dendro gnosis like candy from a baby. but, with your skills, intellect, and knowledge of the area, at the very least you wouldn't be dead weight.

the back of his knuckles knocked aside your outstretched hand as he rose from the table, chair screeching backwards with his movement. he turned his head to side eye you one more time just before the hood fell back over his midnight locks.

"we leave at first light." was all he left you with, before briskly walking to the tavern doors and leaving without another word.

he's not exactly pleased that you'll be joining him for this trip

it's not like he wanted to be here in the first place

scaramouche seeks to battle to the best of his abilities and yearns to see others at his feet where he stands in victory

and the god of wisdom hardly seems like a formidable foe compared to the god of war or the god of contracts

but the job must be done, even if it's up to him

and getting the job done means sacrificing some of his comfort, enter: you

from the moment you first embark off to brave sumeru's stormy sands and pudgy grounds, he finds himself regretting taking you up on your offer

sure, you might know what you're doing and the dendro vision certainly helps in the dendro archon's land, but gods do you get sidetracked easily

he could be haggling a scholar for information, only to be dragged away by his arm with your eager voice recounting details of a nearby festival or an interesting food cart or shop that had caught your eye

of course, he's frustrated and grumpy about the whole ordeal but finds that when you are all business, you're most effective

so just this one time, he'll let your side tracked mind indulge in whatever catches your fancy (and perhaps begrudgingly dip into the funds of the fatui should you spot anything that catches your eye)

his fingers aggressively tapped against the edge of the wooden desk, brows furrowed and mouth twisted into a poisonous sneer that sat comfortably on his face.

"i'll ask you again, old geezer, what do you know of the dendro archon's temples?!"

the old book keeper behind the counter merely countered his crude behavior with a gentle smile, eyes blissfully shut and mouth stretched into a calm expression.

his patience was wearing as thin as the fine granules of sand that littered the landscape outside, face an angry scarlet and knuckles a ghastly white. this was the third time he'd inquired about information, to no avail.

"that's enough, scaramouche."

a soft hand enveloped his ghost white knuckles, skimmed and stretched thin from maintaining his anger. your gentle voice interrupted his frustration as he observed the manner in which your arm snuck around his bicep, hand still warming his own.

"good sir, we'd like to purchase information regarding the beloved god of wisdom's hidden temples. if you'd be so kind as to show us the best materials regarding that topic, we'd be much obliged." unlike scaramouche's unagreeable and demanding behavior, your voice felt of the faint trickle of a gentle stream or clouded mist that rose from the dewy ground in the early mornings of spring.

the book keeper finally responded to your request, excusing himself before disappearing into the back.

"get off of me-!" scaramouche sneered and shoved your arms away from his body just as the book keeper disappeared from sight.

you merely giggled and fixed his misaligned hat. "balladeer, you must have kindness and formality when conversing with the residents of sumeru. they value proper behavior just as they do intelligence."

"then you do all the talking, i don't have time for such mediocrities nor do i care what the sumerans value." he huffed and folded his arms across his chest defensively like an iron shield or a thick wall, blocking off the core of his heart and innards from your prying gaze.

the book keeper returned with some scrolls and politely discussed the price with you. with numbers in the millions, you needed to say nothing when scaramouche placed a large satchel of mora on the desk and scooped up the scrolls into his satchel.

as you exited the book shop, your ears caught wind of faint music and the distant sounds of cheering and laughing that overcame the chatter and clutter of noise from the sumeran street market. the sweet, sugary sounds of joy and celebration lay just over the horizon of the many houses and buildings that lined the sand covered street.

"scaramouche, come this way! i think there's a festival happening!" you grinned as your hand found his and pulled him towards the noise.

scaramouche halted at your words and sneered, "and what? we have a job to do, have you forgotten?"

"surely you can spare a minute, can't you? i promise it'll be quick, just a glance!" scaramouche couldn't help but be entranced by the way your eyes silently pleaded with him, going as far as to offer up the core of their sparkling bits that had him reluctantly nodding, even against his will.

scaramouche was not one to partake in silly little festivals, and yet here he was, watching as you ran around eagerly from stall to stall. the festival had been set up in a village square of sorts: colorful banners draped from all corners and settled at the middle, stalls line the circular edges of the square, and in the middle danced people of all ages, from the tiniest of children to the eldest of couples. music hummed happily from a nearby groups of musicians who eagerly eyed anyone that dropped a tip in their cup.

"isn't this wonderful?" you beamed and looked around in awe, eyeing each stall with hungry eyes.

"very, now can we leave?" he wanted to groan as you ran off towards a jewelry stall.

"lilium." he hissed, urgency laced in his voice as you held up a shining necklace with a verdant pendant similar in color to the dendro vision on your hip. the chain glimmered in the high noon sunlight, the silver bounding off of the metal and reflecting painted constellations over the span of your face.

"yes, yes, just a second. can't i take a look at jewelry in peace?" you giggled and ran your thumb over the neat, diamond shaped cut of the green gem, "this is absolutely stunning, how much?"

"five million mora." the burly man behind the stall answered, puffing airy smoke from the pipe nestled snugly at the corner of his lips.

before you could open your mouth to gawk at the price, scaramouche decided to answer for you, "whatever, we'll take it." he scowled and tossed a hefty bag of mora at the stall keep, who eagerly looked inside with hungry eyes before nodding at the pair of you.

"thank you for the gift, scaramouche!" your hands fiddled with the necklace in an eager attempt to put it on as you faded further away from the stall. your fingers struggled to clip the clasp in place, either going too far or clasping too soon.

"tch, come here." you felt yourself be yanked by the back of your collar and the necklace, ripped from your hands, as scaramouche's deft fingers worked to secure the clasp in place. his cold fingers sent shivers down the line of your spine as the pendant jostled around your chest, then finally sat still against your hammering heart as his body moved away from yours.

"happy? let's go now."

his shoulder brushed past yours and his hand moved to tip his hat down so you wouldn't bear witness to the glowing blush that adorned his cheeks.

your travels together are unprecedented in his mind but as time goes on, he begins to feel less and less hostile to the idea

you're a radiant light to his thunderous storm: the eye of his hurricane perhaps

you fill in the gaps where he is not complete: from your gentle nature to your vast and expansive intelligence, he's been struck in awe

scaramouche now realizes that he could have never navigated sumeru without your help (but it's not like he'd ever admit it)

hours are spent mulling over the locations of the dendro archon's temples only for him to come up short

which is where you'd come in and use that big brain of yours to fill in the gaps with all you knew of the dendro archon

he's not sure when the binds around his heart began to come undone, perhaps it was when he bought that beautiful necklace for you

ever since then, he's found himself at a loss

the simplest of your smiles or the lightest of your touches would make his ears burn a fierce ruby red

he's known you for so long as simply "lilium", who appears to know all and always has the right information for him

but now he begrudgingly begins to wonder what lies under your codename; just who are you?

and why are you making him feel this way?

flames quietly crackled above the drying air; dancing embers flung from the base and gently pranced across the sandy, dirt ground before fading into nothing. the makeshift camp he'd set up right outside the city would suffice for now until daylight broke over the horizon.

scaramouche leaned his back against the base of the large tree trunk, hat cast aside and arms folded while his electric irises traced the lands for any sign of danger. though, if he counted the way your eyes skimmed over the faded, scholarly journals you'd purchased in a small town earlier that day, the faint flicker of rouge and persimmon flames in the core of your eyes, and the soft shadows that danced over your face, he'd consider himself in danger.

"lilium," he called to you, voice uncharacteristically calm and devoid of it's usual haughty nature and bitter tone, "what is that?"

your ruddy eyes rose from the words of the book and a gentle smile crossed your face, "would you like to see?"

the unfamiliar sensation of butterflies instead of the usual crawls of insects and worms in his stomach had him wanting to throw up today's lunch as you rose from your seat on the ground and scooted beside him, leaning your back against the harsh bark of the tree.

"it's an old sumeran fables book. i know it's not exactly contributive to our mission but..." your thumb rubbed the faded cover affectionately as a small smile graced your lips.

"it's fine, buy whatever you want."

scaramouche's hands still folded themselves over his chest, head turned to the side.

"speaking of buying things," you reached into your nearby satchel and rummaged around the contents before emerging with a pair of crystal-like earrings in hand, "i bought this for you!"

the pair of earrings you held were golden and shaped like a sharp, thin diamond. a striking, dark violet crystal, similar in color to that of a stormy sky or muted lightning, was encased with gold and dangled from a thin clasp.

instead of handing both pairs to him, your hands unclasped one and punctured it through your ear. "one side is for me, and the other is for you!" the earring shook with your movements, glimmering in the fleeting and flickering embers of the fireplace.

scaramouche stared at the earring in his hand. it felt hefty and of good quality, and shone with ludicrous beauty. and yet despite this, "ridiculous, i would never wear this." he sneered and tossed the matching jewel back at you.

if he had a heart, he was sure it had long since turned to ice. but upon the slight crestfallen look that melted the glimmering smile on your face, he felt the icy caverns in his heart begin to stir and jostle with movement and life. "i see, but it'll be here if you change your mind."

"sorry" was not a word in his vocabulary, so instead he said nothing nor inched further away from your body when you succumbed to the warm embrace of sleep and rested your head against the closest thing to you: his shoulder. whereas most would have lost their heads should they ever lay a finger on the balladeer, you were an odd exception.

by the time you wake up the next morning, you're lying on the floor, a blanket over your shoulders, with no recollection of how you fell asleep. scaramouche is hoisting his travel bag over his shoulders, and the bits of sun that peeped out from over the horizon gently illuminated the shining gem that hung from his ear.

"let's move."

after weeks of trying to root out the dendro archon's hiding place, you finally manage to narrow it down to a temple surrounded by thick, lush, exotic plants and a glimmering waterfall

"it's surrounded by dense rainforest yet from its most highest point can easily observe sumeru's main city." had been your reasoning

scaramouche recalls his thoughts of the trip going smoothly and easily: like stealing candy from an archon, or a gnosis from a baby...?

but he's become very aware that without your help, he'd be stuck going in circles

you realize that scaramouche has grown over the course of this trip: he's kinder to strangers (in his own...unique way) and seems to be less quick to lose him temper

you've observed with careful eyes, the manner in which he interacts with the world around him and have concluded that there lies a kind and sweet individual underneath his layer of scum and dirt

and the dangle of the matching earring on his ear was enough to make your heart swell with happiness

scaramouche's heart was swelling for another reason

never before has he been in the presence of someone so pure of heart and willing to trust him: to see beyond his physical boundaries and peep into the soul he so defensively guards

and it's because of your actions and words and kindness that he finds himself at a loss for labelling this odd emotion that leaves him awake at night, taking diligent watch over camp to protect your peaceful sleep, or the frequent brushes of his fingers against the cool touch of the gem from his ear

it didn't help his battering heart that you looked absolutely ethereal while using your powers

dendro was an element he considered the weakest until you formed thick vines and towering trees that crushes enemies faster than he could draw out his catalyst and begin attacking

your hands skimmed over the vast expanse of his skin and healed his gashes with the gentle light of dendro, and never before had he come that close to falling asleep in such a vulnerable position

you truly were the most honest being he's ever encountered

but the truth is often a more daunting and treacherous path that one can ever expect

a symbol mocked scaramouche as a lock to the temple. just as he was about to burst into a vast array of colorful expletives, you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and walked past towards the seal. flowing, green energy pool from your fingers and made contact with the seal, which reacted to your powers. an internal mechanism roared to life and soon the doors had opened wide. scaramouche look on in disbelief as you sauntered inwards with a teasing smile on your face.

the inside of the temple is vast and large. a wide, white marble floor covers the majority of the insides, and from the four corners emerged mini waterfalls. a dam lined the edges of the marble floors, where at the end lay a humble throne constructed of rock and covered in thick vines that held little flowers of varying pale colors. marble pillars loomed high above where vines creeped down and engulfed them in a spiral. light poured in from the crystal glass panes above, illuminating the marble floors in a gentle, pale yellow.

his shoes clicked against the clean marble, eyes wide and wandering in awe. but even among his fascination, there still lay frustration. you followed behind him, unusually quiet and devoid of your usual smile.

"the dendro archon isn't here." he scowled and sulkily walked up to the throne, kicking it with the toe of his boot. "all this work, and for what, a disappointment?!" he kicked the seat again, harder this time.

"SHOW YOURSELF YOU GOD DAMN COWARD!" his voice bounced off the empty walls of the temple, fists balled and knuckles white at his side. after all this time and effort, to not find the dendro archon was an absolute bash to his ego and will.

"let's go, lilium." he grunts and turns around to face you.

you who had continued to smile at him with eyes that seemed to know more than he did. eyes that carried within them ancient words lost to time and stars that could no longer been seen across the sky of teyvat.

"scaramouche..." your steps are quiet, tentative, like a cornered animal that has long evaded capture from its stalky predator.

as you walked forwards, your hands unbuttoned the clasp of your beige cloak and revealed to him the lines of dendro that ran up your neck and arms. your fingers contorted into an odd position, almost as if in prayer, as dendro energy began to swirl around you and pour itself back into your chest. thick branches sprouted from your temples and curved backwards to form horns decorated with little multicolored flowers. light illuminated from all directions and poured itself back into your body, while all scaramouche could do was stand there and watch, knees bent and hand ready to draw his weapon. his eyes burned as the air around you settled and a vibrant green ring locked itself onto your irises.

"i am (y/n), seventh archon of teyvat," click, click, with each step you took towards him, scaramouche stepped back, "god of wisdom, defender of sumeru," click, click, scaramouche could hardly believe his eyes, even though the evidence was clear as day in front of him: living, breathing, speaking to him,

"the dendro archon."

confusion turned into blind rage as scaramouche threw his satchel aside and lunged at you, catalyst floating hurriedly behind him. you allowed him to tackle you to the floor, and made no complaint when his large hand pinned your wrists over your head. his hat flew wildly to the side, lost to the air in the sudden scuffle.

"you lied to me." he seethed, voice barely above a whisper and tinted with what you considered unbridled rage as he towered over your. the earring that matched yours dangled ferociously and you feared that it may come flying off.

"i had to." you replied, still smiling with content in your eyes.

"you've made a fool out of yourself by lying to me." like the eerie rumble of thunder before the strike of lightning, his voice rumbled low and heavy and dripped with contempt.

his heart fought against the mere thought of what he'd have to do now: strip you of your gnosis and godly powers. but how could he when all he yearned to do was hear you laugh again or see your pretty smile in a situation where he didn't have your wrists pinned to the floor and wasn't agonizingly angry with you.

"defeat me in a fair challenge, and my gnosis is yours. you have my word, scaramouche." you offer interrupted any more of his raging thoughts.

"you?" scaramouche scoffed and masked his emotions with a decisively wicked laugh that sounded more akin to a huff, "you don't stand a chance against me." the grip on your wrists tightened and pressed your skin into the marble floor.

"then you should have no objections." you offered him one last smile before your body dissolved into tiny, multicolored wildflowers and sparks of green dendro energy. scaramouche fell forwards, the balance he'd kept while holding your body and wrists down now lost.

"what-"

"you've really underestimated me, scaramouche." your voice echoed from the other side of the temple, vines forming around your arms.

despite the screams in his heart to set his catalyst down and run far, far away from all of this, he knew of his obligations, and lunged forward with a surge of electro in his veins.

what he hadn't expected was to be pummeled upwards by a thick tree trunk that protruded from the ground. the impact wasn't hard enough to draw blood but it was enough to distract him while you planned your next move, summoning your weapon and drawing it at the ready.

scaramouche leapt down from the platform and formed a sword of electricity with his hands. he rushed forward and slammed the blade with all his might against your weapon, only to be pushed back with both your strength and the help of the flexible tree branches and vines that protruded from your back.

dendro was supposed to be weak and flimsy like those stupid flowers you always ask him to bring you in exchange for information, so why was it that his breath evaded him with every gulp of air he swallowed while trying to evade your thorny attacks? your long range attacks seemed to be more powerful, but even as he closed the distance, the look in your eyes was unbearable for him to gaze into.

"scaramouche..." you mumbled, brows furrowed and voice tinted with hint of remorse as your weapon pressed against his electro sword, fighting against his strength with seemingly no effort at all. one of your hands moved to tuck strands of his stormy hair back into place behind his ear, and his corded temper snapped in two.

you sensed the buildup of his energy right before it released, and scaramouche swore he saw the faintest of smiles cross your lips before you were knocked back by an enormous surge of electro from his hands that burst outwards in tandem with the blast of electro. purple jets of energy poured out from his outstretched hands, still tingling with adrenaline. your body flew across the temple like a ragdoll and hit one of the many marble pillars, sending you crumbling to the floor in a coughing heap.

"it's over." scaramouche's strides over to your weakened body were cold, devoid of life in each click of his heel against the marble floor until his body loomed high over yours, sword brimming with electricity pointed dead at the base of your throat.

he expected you to cower in fear, beg for your life until you were within an inch of death. instead, you merely smiled and closed your eyes.

"go on, finish the job. you've won fair and square." your hands overlapped his sheet white knuckles, cold from gripping onto the handle with all his strength, and began to push the sword down towards your throat.

panic surged through his veins once your intentions became clear. "just what are you trying to get at?! do you want to die?!" with your weakened body, strength didn't come to your hands when scaramouche yanked the sword away from your grip. the tip of the blade rested snugly over your hammering heart and flickered every so often with a lick of violet electricity that sent tingles throughout your body.

scaramouche had slain hundreds—thousands maybe, but the hands that have snuffed the life out of so many now gripped his sword not with fury but with hesitance. fear was void in your eyes; all he saw was a being who was content, calm, and seemed to embrace death with welcome arms.

"come on, scara. it's alright, i promise." you cooed, arms outstretched like a macabre invitation.

"scara" was new, you'd never called him that before and it made his heart hurt in a way he never thought possible, like running a paper cut under frigid water or biting the inside of your cheek too hard: stinging and small yet unbearable.

you hadn't removed the earring he shared with you, it still clasped itself onto the soft, fleshy part of your earlobe and twinkled up at him in the dwindling sunlight. the slight jostle of his head brought to attention the matching jewel that swayed by his jugular, all the familiar yet foreign emotions he'd felt over the past few weeks rushed him like a bull who saw crimson. the soft underbelly of this thoughts had finally given way and he knew now that his hands could kill a thousand more, but never lay a hand on you.

the sword dissipated into thin particles of mauve electric light just as he crumpled to his knees in front of your body.

"i can't." he meekly whispered, fingers grasping at his knees for some semblance of stability.

he considered himself above others, but you alone had somehow managed to bring him to his knees and set aside his weapon, even if his mission would be failed and he'd face the wrath of the tsaritsa.

what sounded like a pleased hum purred from the top of your throat before you rose from the ground and extended a hand towards him. scaramouche's head whipped up, clearly stunned at your ability to move after baring what looked like such a painful impact.

"congratulations, scaramouche, you've passed!" you beamed as he slipped his hand into yours and stood back up, a quizzical look on his face.

"...passed? what the hell are you talking about?!" he scowled and attempted to sever the connection you'd made between his hand and yours, only for your grip to tighten and your other hand to find purchase on the line of his slackened jaw, moving upwards to his cheek.

"i mean that you've passed the test to receive my gnosis, silly."

you bit back the smile from your face as you watched scaramouche seemingly run through all sorts of confuzzled expressions before settling with an irritated sneer and flared eyes that guarded him like a cornered animal.

"test?! are you kidding me- what in the hell kind of test was that?!" he growled and used his free hand to bunch up the fabric of your collar in his white knuckled fist.

a sugary laugh crept up past your lips as the hand that held his let go and moved to overlap his fist.

"well? get talking!" he ushered, slackening his fingers on the collar of your attire.

"yes, yes, o high and mighty balladeer." like a blue bird's chirp you cooed to him and straightened out the fabric of your shirt with calm movements.

he opened his mouth to make a retort at your choice of title for him when you beat him to the punch and words that you had since swallowed began to slip from your tongue.

"my ties to celestia have long since been severed," you paused to unfurl your hand and reveal the floating gnosis covered in little white flowers and tiny vines, "the gnosis is only an empty vessel—a meaningless connection to a place i no longer associate with."

"if it's so meaningless, you could've just coughed it up and avoided this whole mess. idiot." the last word he muttered under his breath, yet it rang in your ears crystal clear like the crisp smell of firewood.

"i'm aware," you giggle and step closer to him, "but there was a purpose for our adventure."

scaramouche studied the rotating chess piece in your palm, pristine and light in color—if he listened carefully he'd hear the soft chirps of birds and the twinkle of morning dew after a night's shower of rain; the atmosphere began to placate the burning irritation in his chest.

"my disciples caught wind that you'd be the one sent for my gnosis, and i had a feeling that you'd come seek my guidance even if it was to your chagrin." there was no helping to conceal the teasing lilt to your songbird voice, which of course fanned the flames of his sneer and had him crossing his arms.

"i was completely alright with giving up my gnosis, however, i wanted to make sure that it would fall into the right hands which is why i tagged along: to see and study your behavior."

you were far too close for comfort, and there was only so much space between scaramouche and the marble pillar as you backed him up into it and reached for his hands. his mind screamed at him to end it now and run far away from whatever hellish game you'd created, but his heart allowed you to pick up his calloused hands within yours and run your thumbs over the back of his knuckles.

"and after careful examination, i've deemed you and all you stand for worthy of my gnosis, scaramouche."

your hands released his as you dared to brave his stormy exterior and relish in the softness of his face as you cupped his jaw between both of your hands. his arms stood rigid by his side, unsure of which way to move or how to hold you.

"how..." he dryly swallowed before continuing, "why...me?"

"well, that's an easy question to answer. it's because you're a kind soul at heart. i know that no harm will come to my people, or anyone else if my gnosis is left in your hands."

from the look in his eyes, deep within the caverns of his stormy irises and inky pupils, you sensed a pool of doubt and a coating of mistrust. the jingle of the ornaments on his ornate hat twinkled gently as he turned his face to the side, ears burning and mouth etched into a warbled grimace.

"look at me, scaramouche," you tilt his head back towards you, a mirage of stardust and midnight blue flames peering back at you hidden behind the thin layer of his stinging eyes, "you could have killed me, but you spared my life. there is good in you, and there always will be."

"you're wrong, lili- (y/n)! i could kill you where you stand right this minute!" he barked, shying away from your touch in a brutish manner as he walked a short distance away from you, still close enough to touch but far away enough so his face could be hidden behind the thick brim of his hat.

"i'm not wrong, you forget my title of the god of wisom." you chortled, no louder than a gentle rush of wind.

with gentle, lilypad steps, you made your way to his side and raised his head once more with your hands so you started directly into his eyes. the firey, red blush on his face ran to the expanse of his nose and cheeks and tailed off near the tips of his ears; he looked akin to a dewy strawberry or ripe cherry.

the glowing gnosis appeared once more as you unfurled your hand, the other moving to grab scaramouche's palm and hold it wide open. the gnosis thrummed with life for a brief moment before falling silent as your fingers let go of the small chess piece and let it fall onto the calloused, fleshy skin of scaramouche's palm. your fingers gently covered his own and curled them inwards so the gnosis was completely concealed by his skin.

"go," you whispered, moving your hand back upwards to his cheek to caress the soft skin and brush aside the wild wisps of his inky, midnight hair, "go home to your tsaritsa. tell her you've succeeded, but not of how you obtained the gnosis."

you've managed to startle scaramouche enough today to the point where he'd welcome unconsciousness with open arms. but the manner in which you hold his face and press a gentle kiss to his forehead sends a flurry of emotions barreling up from his heart towards his brain. frozen in place, he could only watch as you stepped back and offered him one more smile before turning around and heading to pick up your discarded cloak in the middle of the temple. your figure grew smaller and smaller the more he stood, mouth agape and palms sweaty. the fist that contained your gnosis felt so warm and soft, like the gentle pitter of rain in spring or the brush of a lukewarm petal on a hot summer's day—so much like you. his mind no longer screamed at him to shove those damning thoughts of you into a corner.

with every hurried step he took, the binds around his heart became undone and left nothing but a shriveled up empty core that pounded and swelled with life. his hand grabbed around your elbow just as you scooped up your cloak from the middle of the temple, his eyes blown and grip tighter than ever.

"scaramouche?" you innocently tilted your head to the side, curiosity enveloping your irises that now lacked the vibrant green dendro ring.

ah, your curiosity, your kindness, your gentle nature, your humor, he adored everything about you, and he could hide it no longer.

with a yank of his hand forwards, his lips eagerly met yours in an uncharacteristically jumbled and awkward yet endearing kiss. he swallowed your surprised squeak and melded his lips properly against your own, arm coming around to hold your body flush against his. scaramouche's fist let go of your gnosis and let it tumble to the ground, using his free hands to dig into the small of your back and trap you in his broad arms.

"who said..." he began once parting from your breathless lips, gulping for air himself, "that you could leave my side?"

scaramouche's eyes darted from your own and back down towards your lips, cheeks ruddy and warm and mouth parted to breathe in the sweet air you managed to steal from him. you followed his gaze and ran your fingers against the dangling jewel from his ear that matched yours.

"i believe..." you started with a giggle, using your thumb to run against his bottom lip, "that the tsaritsa will be awfully upset to know that you've discarded the gnosis like that."

scaramouche scoffed and grabbed your chin between his forefinger and thumb and muttered a, "i don't care," before taking your lips as his once again.

it's a pretty, forward way of confessing, but scaramouche becomes your lover from that day onwards!

he garbles out an offer to come stay with him, which you accept!

the trip back to snezhnaya was filled with longing looks and breathless kisses that left him weak in the knees

of course, he makes sure that affectionate gestures are in private settings because celestia forbid that a fatui agent walk in on scaramouche, red in the face, being pampered with kisses and affectionate words by his archon significant other

when he presents the dendro archon's gnosis to the tsaritsa, she's quick to catch on that his means of acquisition were...unorthodox

but makes no comment of it, much to his relief

as soon as his business is done in snezhnaya, he makes haste to his (luxurious) residence in inazuma which is where he chooses to lay a base with you

because he's a harbinger, he often must leave at unpredictable times in a hurried manner

before, such a mobile lifestyle was fine because it was just his own back that he had to worry about and no one else's

however, you have now entered the picture

he'll make contradictory responses about leaving you alone for prolonged periods of time

"you'll burn the damn place down while i'm gone."

"you say that while you're hugging and kissing me goodbye, scaramouche."

"...shut up."

by associating with him in general, you've inherently become a target for outside parties that have a bone to pick with the fatui (which are there are, unsurprisingly, a lot of)

you might have to remind him that you're a literal archon and can defend yourself perfectly fine (and even then it'd be difficult for him to part from you)

aside from the chaos that is his life as a harbinger, when all is quiet and there's no missions on his belt, he'll be right by your side

his love is shown largely through words of affirmation, except they come off as the exact opposite with good intentions hidden beneath them

you help him spar in the large backyard, and he's surprised to learn that you can easily take him down

part of his time with you has led him to discover a lot more about you, like the fact that intense emotions of yours manifest into flowers that bloom along your body

one too many times has he whispered suggestive words in your ear with a teasing, sultry lilt, or let his hand wader across the span of your body

only to be met with wine red roses that bloomed from the depths of your skin and wrapped around his hands

scaramouche will never admit the way your kind words and gentle touch send his heart racing

from the simple tap of his shoulder or the warmest of embraces lined with sugar filled kisses: he loves your touch

he's not used to authenticity; kind, genuine, pure of heart compliments and words, which is why he hates that you manage to fluster him so easily with "that shirt makes you look even more handsome" or a "be well and stay safe, darling"

scaramouche is used to bandaging his wounds—both physical and (eugh) emotional—in complete solitude

but you're here now, and he begins to realize that he finally has someone to rely on—someone who cares about him to the most authentic extent

rain hammered down against his body as he approached the steep climb towards the large, luxurious house that sat atop a secluded hill in araumi.

blood, his own or someone else's, smeared itself across his cheek and shielded itself from the rain by the large rim of his hat. his bloodied nose ached with every intake of rain laden air; the only smell scaramouche could possibly register at this point was the irony peak of blood. his legs burned and ached with every step forwards; tingling vibrations shot themselves up from his ankles to the small of his back. the open gash on his torso felt like burning ice and stung with every raindrop that splattered onto his bloodied shirt. the house loomed onwards and high above, led up to by a trail of pearly white stairs crafted of marble; he was seriously beginning to regret the fancy structure of his house.

his breath stuttered against his lips upon reaching the first step, body sagging onto the railing when he heard a voice from above.

"scaramouche?!"

he looked upwards to see your figure, void of any umbrellas, coverings, or shoes and only in your night clothes as you stood near the first landing of the steps. with the steady candlelight from the house behind: you looked like an angel.

how he had managed to make it under the warm roof of his house, he wasn't quite sure. scaramouche only remembers your frantic touch and his arm slung around your shoulder as you walked step by step up to the porch. before he knew it, scaramouche found himself soiling a fresh, snow white futon with the blood and dirt that covered his body while you made haste to pull off his soaked shoes and gather appropriate materials to help clean him up. hat already tossed to the side, you peeled layer after layer of soaked clothing off until he lay bare in nothing but his boxers, large gash on display for you to gawk at.

"scara..." you mumbled and ran your fingertips over the reddened edges of his wound.

he hissed at the sudden contact and gulped for air through his chapped lips. you smiled apologetically and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "you'll be alright, just hold still."

energy the color of a dewy leaf or thick, pale moss, thrummed from your fingertips as you hovered over his wounds. the dendro energy from your skin began to morph his skin and shut the gash in slow, gentle motions, leaving behind nothing but a thin scar across the middle. your hands moved across the span of his body, taking great care not to miss any patch of skin, no matter how small the wound. finally at ease, scaramouche trained his eyes on you with bated breath as you lovingly tended to his wounds with a strong ring of green around your irises. your hands finally glided over to his face, where blood smeared his cheek and the thin trail of blood from his nose greeted you with a nasty leer.

"not mine, promise." he mumbled when your thumb rubbed over the patch of dried blood on his cheek. his words didn't seem to ease the worried look on your face.

a few more motions of your hands and his nose was good as new. your hands reached for the basin of warm water and gentle washing cloth as scaramouche sat up, a haggard breath escaping his lips.

"i may have healed your wounds, but you need rest. they will reopen if you exert yourself." you warn, warm hand cupping his cheek while the other wiped the trail of blood from his nose.

"don't give me that shit, i'm completely fine." he huffed, but allowed you to continue wiping his skin down with warm water.

"please, scaramouche," to his surprise, tears began to pool in your eyes and cascade down your cheeks in silent waterfalls, "you are so important to me, take better care of yourself, please."

though his body stung and you'd just warned him about moving, scaramouche couldn't help but pull you into his lap and lock his arms tight around your body.

"i'm not going anywhere. it'll take an army and it's general...and a dragon to kill me." he mumbled into your scalp, feeling the weight on his chest lessen with a snort in response to his sarcastic response.

"promise?" you moved your face from his neck to look him in the eye, remembering just how bloodied he'd been just moments earlier.

scaramouche moved his hand to grab your pinkie in his and shake it. "throw me in the ice or whatever if i do."

you giggle and raise his hand to your lips, eyes shut in pure bliss and a gentle smile etched on your lips. in that moment, scaramouche wished with all his might that his time with you would be stretched out into an eternity.

you had a weird start to your relationship: never did scaramouche ever fathom that he'd find someone to put up with his disagreeable personality

nor that he'd fall in love with the prime target of his mission

but you managed to wrangle him up in your vines of love and swaddle him in a warmth that was unfamiliar yet welcomed

he's not one to revere the gods as ethereal beings; to him they're no more than placeholders, or figureheads

however, you are the only archon that has his complete and utter devotion

and it's not because of your archon status that he is devoted wholly to you, but your kindness and love that brings him to his knees

despite his unpleasant behavior, there isn't a single thing he wouldn't do for you, even if he'd grumble and complain about it all the while

the earring that dangles from his ear and matches your own reminds him that he has someone to come home to, and someone to love

the day khaenri'ah fell is all a blur in dainsleif's mind

he lost everything:

his home, his people, his status, his life

all thanks to the heartless gods who cared not for the lives of puny mortals

despite the foggy remnants of his memory, he does remember something in particular that has stuck with him for centuries onwards:

how someone managed to bring him to safety, away from all the carnage and rot of khaenri'ah's destruction

by then, the curse of immortality had been laid, but whoever it was who saved him had managed to sneak through the wreckage and haul his unconscious body out of the pits of khaenri'ah into a grassy plain of wildflowers

though in and out of consciousness, he remembered the clean ring of vibrant green around their irises, the sweet smell of fresh flowers, their soft touch as they mended his wounds, and their honey-like voice that tried as much as possible to keep him conscious

the last thing he remembers before slipping into oblivion was the calmness and ease of his pain and the hum of energy in his ears

he awoke that night in a small clearing next to a crackling campfire, arm in a sling and a blanket over his body

since then, he's embarked to seek answers and pursue goals that were far out of anyone's reach

he wandered aimlessly as days trickled into weeks, then months, years, decades, centuries

until he finally meets you in sumeru

you're an advisor for the study of medicinal herbs at sumeru's finest academic institution, where dainsleif heads one day to procure both information and herbs

upon talking to him for just a bit, you discover that he is in search of a specific type of plant and offer your physical assistance to help him find it

throughout your little adventure, dainsleif finds that you're excellent to work with and before he can even ask if you'd like to come with him when he leaves sumeru, you offer up to join him on his travels first

he finds great solace and versatility in you: your dendro vision allows for easier access to places where nature invades, and your amicable and kind personality makes for great bargaining skills

over time as you travel more and more places together, dainsleif begins to feel an unfamiliar weight in his chest that doesn't exactly feel unwelcome

warm, calm, serene, peaceful is how he feels when you're around

he can't help but be enamored by everything about you: your eyes, lips, curve of your nose and rise of your cheeks. your kindness, your gentle nature, your perceptive insight and intelligence. all of it.

the romantic tension between you two was unbearable in the best way

quiet flames flickered from the small campsite and cast gentle shadows across the span of his face. he observed with a quiet smile, the way in which your fingers skimmed through line after line of some ancient books you had procured today, spines broken and covers worn with age and love. a shiver rocked your body as you scooted closer to him for warmth, your hips coming in contact merely once and it was enough to send tingles throughout his body.

"cold?" he asked.

you placed the book down and nodded, coming closer to his side if possible. with a single click of the clasp, the charcoal cloak that draped over his shoulders fell from his body as he placed it over yours.

"well that's not fair," you pout, fanning out the fabric so that instead of just you, the cloak covered both your bodies, "we both need to be covered."

there was no hiding the furious blush on his face as you inch even closer to him if it was possible to do so, your head coming to rest on his broad shoulder.

"are you okay, dain? your heart is beating so fast..." voice tinted with faded whispers, your fingers run over the thick fabric that protects his bare skin.

"yes, i'm...fine. do not concern yourself with my wellbeing, you need to warm up." dainsleif murmured gently and tugged the fabric up closer to your shoulders.

he wasn't sure when you'd wriggled your way past his thick irony boundaries or when he'd become so comfortable with your touch, but he didn't mind if you used his shoulder like a pillow and drooled on him, or spurred him onwards into hole in the wall buildings to discover ancient products. and his most favorite: when you'd craft flowers from your fingers and thread them through his coat or hair.

"i can't just not care about you, dain. that's silly." you giggle and brushed aside wisps of his ashen locks from his piercing azure gems. he resisted the urge to lean down and press a kiss to your forehead once your arms wrapped around his torso, so snug and comfortable.

"ah...then i apologize."

"dain?" you look up at him with sparkling eyes, threaded by pale, persimmon flames from the campfire that completely entrance him.

"yes, (y/n)?"

much to his surprise, your hands slink up to hold his face so he stared directly at you.

"can i show you how much i care about you?" there was a new gentleness to your voice that he'd never heard before, and the confusion that painted his face at your words dissipated once he nodded and felt his head tilt to the side and your soft, downy lips press against his cheek.

for far too long, he'd imagined the feeling of your lips on his skin in manners that had him burning up and shaking such thoughts out of his head. but now, having got a taste, his desire seemed to be insatiable. your lips parted from the soft of his cheek far too soon for his liking, your eyes shy and mouth curved into a timid smile.

"i'm sorry if i overstepped any- mmph?!"

before you could speak any apologies, you find that dainsleif's lips had connected and molded to fit perfectly against yours. his arms snuck around your waist to stabilize you against his throbbing heart. his mind was completely encased by all that you were: your body, mind, and soul filtered through your connected lips and became one with his in the most vibrant and indescribable ways.

dainsleif reluctantly parted from your lips with a quiet gasp and rose a hand to cup your burning cheeks.

"i care deeply about you as well, if it was not evident."

despite the teasing nature of his remark, his eyes shied away from your intense gaze, the one that sent butterflies up from the confines of his stomach.

"hehe, at least now," you giggled and pressed a gentle kiss first to his nose, then a lingering, chaste kiss to his lips, "i am well aware that our feelings are mutual."

dainsleif never exactly expected for you to return his feelings, but he considers it a win in his book

though he feels infinitely unworthy of your love and affection, you often remind him that he deserves the world and all the love contained within it

it takes a while for him to open up about his past, but he trusts you with all that he is

so he sits down and tells you all he knows of his origins: khaenri'ah, the gods, his immortality, all of it

given that he's under the impression that you are a mere mortal human, his immortality is a subject that pains him the most

to know that you'd one day leave him behind and succumb to the fate of time

but you know that isn't true, and you recognize him as someone familiar from the wreckages of khaenri'ah

hiding your secret eats you up inside, especially since dain has made it excruciatingly clear that he desires nothing to do with the gods or anyone or anything associated with them

eventually, hiding becomes too much and you realize that he deserves the truth, even if dainsleif were to discard your bond

sitting under trees and reading had become a pleasant past time for the two of you, though you've always much rather preferred to hear dainsleif's smooth voice recount tales from the aged book that would have your eyes drooping and mouth curved into a serene smile.

but today, your face lacked its usual vibrancy and your smile seemed devoid of your usual joy as he read word after word with you perched on his lap. instead, your eyes lingered on the gentle green glow emitted from your hands and the guilt that ate away at you inside. the sun was just about to blanket itself over a drape of midnight sky, and dainsleif had begun to set up camp when he finally asked, "you don't seem like yourself today, is something the matter?"

you take in a shaky breath before turning to face him with hesitation in every one of your movements. "dain...you despise the gods, right?" timidly, you step into the shallows and fear knowing that soon you will have to face the deep end.

"yes, i have no respect nor care for them at all. why do you ask?"

the lump in your throat began to pulse, almost as if to tell you not to speak the words that had been broiling in your stomach for so long, but you knew it was impossible.

you allowed your eyes to slip behind their lids as your hands folded themselves into a position of prayer. viridian and chartreuse swirls of dendro energy formed from your chest and enveloped your body for a brief moment only to dissipate and leave you floating back to the ground in white, ancient garments with golden rings on your upper arm and left thigh. thick, chocolate colored branched formed by your temples and curved backwards to form horn-like structures. striking strips of verdant dendro energy ran up your arms and legs and settled at your throat to form the heart symbol.

you opened your eyes, and dainsleif found himself face to face with a ring of bright green around your irises that seemed so familiar.

"i'm the dendro archon." your voice was meek, and nothing like that of a god. from your clasped hands, your fingers unfurled to reveal your tiny gnosis decorated in little flowers and gleaming of warmth and the gentle touch of a flower petal.

if he hadn't seen the gnosis, or your archon clothes, dainsleif would hardly believe you. a joke, a taunting tease akin to pinching his cheek in a loving manner or nudging his ribs, that was what declaring yourself as an archon sounded like. but the gnosis in your hand, the tattoos on your skin, the clothing on your back, it all pointed to the obvious.

he was sure his expression was ruthless given the manner in which you silently responded with guarded hands.

"dain..." your hand unconsciously reached out to him to hold his face, but never got that far.

fury coursed through his body like a toxic viper, devoid of rational thoughts or understanding. his muscles jerked to slap your hand away, teeth bared full and anger glinting his in starry pupiled eyes.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME! don't take another step!"

you felt your heart stop in your chest. his eyes roamed over your body like a man possessed. you'd never seen dainsleif this angry or worked up. your sweet, kind, albeit too formal and a little awkward, dainsleif. each day he'd wake up and gaze at you with nothing but love and adoration, and now he stood before you defensively, shielding himself as if you were a monster.

"dain, please i can explain-"

"explain?! there's nothing to explain," dainsleif backed away from you, even as you halted your footsteps forwards, "you archons simply love to toy with people, don't you?"

his hands worked quickly to gather his items and sling his backpack over his shoulders.

"did you perhaps think that you could spend your time toying with a mortal? am i amusing to you? did you have your fill?!" he barked, eyes narrowed into hostile slits.

your voice wouldn't meet your lips no matter how hard you tried. you desperately wanted to deny his claims; that you loved him with all your heart, but it seemed your strangled silence was enough of an answer for him.

"do not follow me."

he didn't dare look at your face, for to feel compassion or empathy for a god would be a gross negligence of their actions towards his people. dainsleif had never ran that fast before in his life, nor had he ever faced the dilemma that brewed within his heart that urged him to turn around and talk things out. but the damage had been done, and he knew that there was no saving a bond shared between a khaenri'ahan and an archon.

you watched with watery eyes as dainsleif hurriedly ran further and further away from your embrace. your body fizzled with dendro energy as you numbly walked towards a nearby stream and crumpled to your knees, eventually falling limp on your side. rejection had been your worst fear, and not only had it come true but it cost you your most beloved. and now there was nothing you could do about it, so you cried and cried and cried and let the ground around you absorb your agonizing pain.

he can't exactly get you off of his mind no matter how hard he tries

dainsleif ends up spending a week in a hotel in a town far away from where he left you and can hardly rise from bed without feeling a rippling pain in his heart

a constant war between his emotions and his mind play out, and he doesn't know which side to align with

against all he stands for, dainsleif finds himself wandering back to his time with you: your radiant smile, jubilant laughter, kindness, generosity, empathy, the soft curve of your body and the gentle, feather light tough of your lips on his

thoughts of you plague his mind day in and day out, no matter what

there exists a lingering guilt that eats away at him when he recalls the brief moment he looked up to see the absolute distraught emotions on your face

he finds himself sitting on the edge of the hotel's bed, unable to sleep and mind filled with thoughts of you as he runs his thumb over an intricate bookmark you had bought for him

dainsleif often wonders about the ring of green around your eyes in your archon form, and why they appeared to be so familiar and so warm

and it suddenly hits him: memories of the distant past khaenri'ah where he'd been spared from the god's wrath and dragged unconscious from the wreckage

those same, familiar green irises sparked the realization that it had to be you who saved him

and this realization released the floodgates for the wave of guilt that crushed him under its weight

he had left you all by yourself and rejected you when you'd bared all of yourself to him

you knew who he was the moment you first met him, and kept silent of your kind deeds and he just knows that it's because that last thing you'd ever want is for him to feel obligated to be with you

and it's this realization that has his mind giving way to all the thoughts of you that he's suppressed

dainsleif can only hope that you would give this sinner just one last chance to beg for forgiveness

night had fallen by the time he reached his destination. dainsleif isn't sure what called to him to return to where he left you, after all you were quite intelligent and staying in one place for too long while traveling was never the brightest idea. but much to his surprise, your items lay exactly where you left them and had faced the elements. he stooped to pick up a soggy copy of your favorite book off of the ground that had faced the hardships of rain, the very same one he had been reading to you the evening of your confession. his heart stung and stuttered to know that something could have possibly happened to you.

his eyes frantically searched the shady tree area for any sign of you, only for a trail of small, yellow flowers to catch his eye. they trailed downwards off a rugged path, and his legs felt compelled to adhere to the strange breadcrumb trail.

the flowers lead him to a small clearing, where a gentle stream rushed by, and where your figure lay on your side surrounded by heaps upon heaps of little, lemony flowers. dainsleif's chest began to morph and twist with every step he took towards your body, still in your archon form. he feared so greatly that death had taken you into its hands as he knelt down with trembling legs to your body. much to his surprise, you were quite awake and numbly staring at the rushing water in front of your face. the light in your lovely eyes had faded, leaving the ring a dull hazel, the color of dirt or faded mud. faded tear tracks marked lines down the center of your face, and he knew that the damage he had done was immense.

"(y/n)..." his voice warbled with suppressed emotions as his lips morphed into a watery frown.

your eyes peeled themselves away from the flowing water and connected with dainsleif's, to which you replied with a half hearted chuckle and no more.

"i'm hallucinating now? heartbreak is fascinating." you mumbled with a sad smile as your hand moved upwards to caress his skin.

"you're not hallucinating, i'm...i am real." he murmured just as he placed his hand over yours.

the light within your eyes began to spark, then glimmer with hope as the realness of the situation set in. no words could escape your lips before he had pulled you up, drawn you into a tight hug and pressed kiss after kiss to your temples, just below your branch-like horns.

"could you ever forgive this foolish sinner?" dainsleif mumbled into your shoulder and squeezed tighter, as if you'd fade from his grasp should his grip slack even the slightest.

"dain...it's me who should be asking for forgiveness, not-"

dainsleif was never a selfish man, but with you he was allowed to indulge and savor your warmth. his lips cut off your refutes just as they were about to emerge from your lips.

"you saved me, didn't you?" he asked once parted from your lips.

"you remembered." you cooed, thumbing over his ruddy cheeks.

"i tried my best to reason with the gods, but dendro is not as powerful an element as others think." a sigh enveloped your words with regret and sorrow, hands moving downwards from his face to his shoulders, "but then, i saw you. and narrowly i managed to get you out before total ruin fell to khaenri'ah."

dainsleif's heart hammered ferociously in his chest upon understanding the true magnitude of your words. you hadn't laid siege to khaenri'ah, you hadn't harmed his people in any way. you were innocent.

"i'm a fool." dainsleif berated, guilt wrenching his heart in every which way.

"you're no fool, you've just been hurt." you coo, wiping away at a stray tear that trickled down his face.

"how is it that you're able to be so kind to me even now?" he asked. your sniffles and mumbled whimpers hidden behind that smile of yours tore his heart in two, knowing that his rash actions had been the cause of your sorrow.

"it's because i love you, wholly. you are no toy for me to play with, and i will follow you to the ends of teyvat if you would indulge me." you caress the heat of his cheek and allow him to wipe away the tears that had fallen from your eyes.

"and i, you, whether you were mortal or an archon. you'll forever have my heart." and the words he spoke were truer that he'd even been, more honest than he'd ever felt with himself in so long.

his words made your limp heart swell with affection, and any doubt you might've had flitted away with the cool wind.

"you are absolutely beautiful." his eyes study you in a passionate way as his hands glide over your bark horns, to your supple cheeks, then finally coming to thumb underneath the skin of your vibrant, crystal-like eyes where a ring of soft green peered back at him.

you shy away from his gaze, face warm and fluster evidence in the warbled smile that creeps up onto your lips. but dainsleif was not finished, for a man who craved every inch of you he could never be satiated with doubt lingering in your body.

"i promise to you, you shall never shed another tear under my watch, my starlight." his lips hovered above yours momentarily, as if asking for permission before you closed the gap and looped your arms firm around his neck.

the love of a god was infinite and powerful and even if he were to wander the grounds of teyvat for a century more, he'd be alright as long as you stood by his side.

despite his grievances with the gods and celestia, dainsleif has come to an odd conclusion: not all the gods were responsible for what happened

you are his prime example

your capacity for love and kindness is so foreign to a man who has known nothing but solitude and grief

and he learns to embrace it, one step at a time with your help

dainsleif carries a heavy conscience, but he's at east knowing that you are but a momentary longing glance away and he's free to usher you close for comforting cuddles

he's much more careful with expressing his distaste for the gods around you after you reveal yourself (even if you encourage him to be more vocal)

dainsleif believes in fate as a harbinger of sorrow and anguish

but if fate had brought you to him, then perhaps fate wasn't such a bad concept after all

date published: september 10th, 2021

“ accidents happen ” || tokyo rev.

synopsis: in which they discover you had their child and kept it from them all these years later.

pairing: bonten x fem!reader [ mikey, ran, sanzu ]

warnings: mature content ahead. MDI. mature language, crude humor, angst (if you squint really hard), deadbeat!bonten (unintentionally), not proof-read so there may be errors lol and i think that’s it :))

notes: i just want the drama >:) may make more parts, and even extend said headcannons into longer fics in the future, but wanted to post something quick for mother’s day. hope you enjoy!

When you disappeared off the face of the earth, MIKEY had never been the same. One fight. One argument that spiraled out of control, and you were just gone...

He had people looking for you for about a couple years, the trail ran cold after a while and he had half a mind to think you were dead. Up until he got intel of your whereabouts one morning during a meeting.

That man got up and left immediately.

He wasn’t accompanied with any of his men, only because he didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention in the broad daylight. Sure, him wearing a black hood, ball cap, and mask in a park didn’t really help him look inconspicuous but it at least concealed his identity enough for him to blend in. Mikey sat on a bench for a good forty minutes, anxious, making anyone who passed him shiver from his intense aura alone; even birds walked around him. After almost an hour of waiting, he began to feel frustrated. Perhaps, the intel was false. Just as he went to stand, already conjuring up ways to have Sanzu execute the idiot who wasted his time, he heard it.

Your voice. Seizing him, like a siren’s call.

His eyes were alert, darting around until they landed on your figure, spotlighted by the sun, like an angel descending from the heavens. You looked good, healthy. That was good. An array of emotions fought for their turn in Mikey’s heart—Relief, distress, anger, nostalgia. He couldn’t just pick one, especially when it came to you. As he watched from his spot, doing his best to not seem suspicious, he clocked the people you were approaching with excitement, your peppy stride as you waved at, what he presumed, to be mother and daughter.

However, his entire world turned upside down when the little girl extended out her arms towards you, and said “Mama!”

“Hello, my darling.~” You cooed, taking her into your awaiting arms from the woman, embracing the toddler tightly. “Mama missed you so much.”

“Missed you, mama!” was the child’s reply, followed by her giggles.

A bucket of cold water would’ve been better than this. Watching you converse with who he now assumes to be the babysitter, Mikey felt faint. Vision blurring, head pounding, heart clenching. You…you…no. There’s no way. You wouldn’t have moved on…you couldn’t have, not like this, not from him. You loved him, didn’t you? You still love him, didn’t you?

How could you…how could you?

Before he knew it, he started to follow you around. From the park, to the store, all the way back to your apartment. He already phoned some of the executives to start working in on the babysitter, and anyone else in your new found circle for information. He wanted answers. He needed them.

By the time you began fixing dinner, with your daughter laid down for a nap, you receive a knock at your door. Who could that be at this hour?

RAN was chilling outside the rendezvous spot for something the boss and a few other execs were participating in, having a smoke, minding his business, up until he sees a little girl with pigtails wearing a school uniform approaching, standing before him and just…staring. She barely came up to his thighs, could've been no older than seven. She was practically staring into his soul with bright lavender eyes that scarily reminded him of Rin’s when he was that age.

He stared back, head tilted as he blew out the smoke from the corner of his mouth. The hell was a kid doing on this side of town?

Then, after an uncomfortable staring contest, the little girl points at his cigarette. “My ma says those things are bad for you.”

Ran raised a brow, “Does she now?”

“Mmhm! She says it makes people unhappy.”

He offered a thoughtful nod, an amused grin spreading across his face. “Mm. Do I look unhappy?”

The girl looked at Ran for a minute, eyes squinted. Eventually, she shook her head. “No. But, ma also says people who are always unhappy get better at hiding it.”

Ran’s grin faltered. Her unwavering stare started to unnerve him, especially after hearing such a heavy statement come from such a small package.

After a brief moment of silence, he chuckled softly, taking one last drag of his cigarette before flicking it away. He exhaled. “Smart woman.”

The little girl beamed, “Mmhm! My ma knows a lot of stuff.”

“Tsk. But not ‘Stranger Danger’, apparently.”

She tilted her head, curious. “Huh?”

“You shouldn’t be wandering around by yourself, let alone approaching someone you don’t know. ‘s not safe. Especially for nosy little girls who stick their noses in other people’s business. Your ma never taught you that?”

The little girl rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. “Duh. Of course she did. Everyone knows that rule,” she exasperated. Ran snorted, but yielded when she squinted at him, pointing as she sassed. “And I do so know you, so you’re not a stranger.”

This time, Ran couldn’t help the incredulous laugh. “Oh, you know me, huh? That’s not good. ‘m supposed to keep a low profile. Say, you ain’t a cop are you?” He teased, earning another eye roll.

“No. Too small to be a cop, dummy.”

“Oh, pardon me, I didn’t notice. Where do you know me from, then?”

The little girl pointed over to the building..where the executives were having their meeting. She beamed, “Ma’s works in there. On important people days she can’t get me from school, so she tells me to come straight here, and to not talk to the purple man that stands near the building. She says you’re mean.”

Ran smirked, then gave a half-hearted shrug.

“She also says you’re my pa. But, I never believed her. You’re too old.”

Ran’s smirk dropped.

Whether more from the first comment or the last, you decide. But, one thing was for certain: he needed another cigarette.

SANZU cackled watching some guy struggle to round up a couple of rowdy twins at the convenience store. One was knocking shit off the shelves while the other ran circles around the guy. It was what he needed for his bitch of a hangover, a good laugh to distract from the ache in his skull.

However, he wasn’t laughing for long when you came around the corner of the isle, holding a few items with a smile on your face that soon faded once you saw the scene unfolding before you; the pinkette thought he was still tripping balls. Blinking a few times to allow any after effects of the drugs to clear up, when you didn’t disappear he used his long legs to swiftly yeet behind one of the shelves, peering around it like some paranoid stalker. The last time you had spoken, you had threatened to castrate him with your teeth if you ever saw him again.

And he’d be damned if he tried your bluff.

He watched in awe as you straightened those twins up quick. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought they were trained to obey you, and only you. Any other authority be damned. While the guy was putting all the stuff back on the shelves, sweaty and out of breath, you gently reprimanded them for causing trouble. You still made that cute pouty face you always did whenever you were mad at him…

“What did we talk about earlier? Hm? Mr. Satoru was very kind to help mama today, you know. You two promised me you’d be on your best behavior for him.”

Sanzu gagged. This was the rebound you let nut in you? This huffy moron who can’t handle a couple of ankle biters, this was your king? He had half a mind to just gut the guy to put him out of his misery from that pathetic display from earlier, alone. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be back home. He remembers when he was that age—Rowdy, reckless, the Antichrist. Adorable, but deadly. God bless that poor bastard’s soul.

Wait…Mister? Not…dad?

The first twin whined, stomping their feet. “He’s too boringggg!”

Come to think of it…if Sanzu squinted…the longer he looked at the little family…he swore the more he saw the resemblance of himself in the tiny gremlins. From the hair, to the eyes, all the way down to the mannerisms…Hang on. When had been the last time you two fucked? Three…no, was it four years ago?

The second twin huffed, pointing at the man. “Yeah! And he’s jus’ being nice so that he can sleep in your bed, mama!”

You flushed, nervously chuckling as you looked around to make sure no one heard. Sanzu ducked behind a bag of chips, now nothing but eyes peeking through the gaps of food on the shelf.

So…that loser’s not the father? Then…could that mean..?

“He’s mama’s boyfriend, remember? He’s allowed to do that. And he’ll be around for a while, so I want you two to be nice, okay?”

“…okay, mama.” They grumbled.

Sanzu almost popped a blood vessel, fist clenched around a bag of Lays and nearly busting it. He chuckled darkly, “Oh. We’ll see about that.”

© 2024-2025 anisespice ッ all rights reserved.

likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

KING OF MY HEART, BODY AND SOUL | LYNEY

notes 2k words, does contain arlecchino quest spoilers but it’s nothing too big, mom and dad are fighting (i could be talking about any of them)

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Rosalie eyes the flower warily. “What am I supposed to do with that? My hands are—” The terrifying stranger pitches the flower to her lap, a clear rebuttal, “—tied… Okay.”

She wishes she could kick it off, yet her legs were also tied. Defeated, she accepts the offering but doesn’t say a word about it. Gratitude is far from what Rosalie is feeling at the moment. Ingratitude, fear, confusion. Those describe it better.

For better or for worse, Rosalie scrambles to take hold of the conversation, if only to show these people that she wouldn’t show her ingratitude, fear, and confusion. The flower jostles with her rough movements. “You’re—Fatui, aren’t you? I believe all of you owe me more than just a talk. What do you want with my child?” 

“Hey, lady,” the woman with the purple hood once again growls, “don’t talk to The Knave like that!”

The Knave. That sounds so familiar. Rosalie thinks deeply, wondering where she had heard it from in passing.

“It’s alright. She’s distressed,” The Knave addresses her subordinates, but she’s looking right at Rosalie. “You may refer to me as The Knave. Arlecchino, fourth of the eleven Fatui Harbingers.”

Harbingers. Out of the eleven, she managed to rope herself into the fourth one. Rosalie turns just a little bit pale. A Harbinger had been inside her shop without her knowing. If you had come home earlier, what would The Knave have done? Rosalie doesn’t know if this situation is any better, either.

“And, just so you know, before she was yours, she was my child first,” The Knave muses.

Oh. Right. Previous Fatuus and The Knave is a Harbinger—that makes sense.

“But—she’s not even involved with any of you anymore, right?” Rosalie asks weakly, her stomach taut with apprehension. “Why are you doing this? Where is she right now?”

The Knave appraises Rosalie for a good minute, as if her sorry state would make the choice for her. “I gave Y/N plenty of freedom. If I didn’t, you never would’ve even met her.”

Rosalie bristles. “What, I have to be grateful?”

The Knave huffs out a small laugh. “That would be narcissistic of me. Of course not. But you shouldn’t be hostile. If I meant to harm Y/N, I would’ve done so already.”

“Did you let her go on purpose?” Rosalie asks. She’s getting agitated by the power this woman is clearly showing off.

“I suppose you could say that,” The Knave wonders. “But I just had no worries. I’m more familiar with her than you think. I knew that she wouldn’t have gone too far. I knew this would happen eventually.”

Rosalie is confused. What is this? Was this one of those monologues that the bad guys jump into to reveal their master plan—like, in the musical plays?

“Of course, no one could have foreseen the Traveler's appearance.” The Knave taps a clawed finger on her chin thoughtfully. “That also made it much more complicated than it was supposed to be.”

Traveler. Where has Rosalie heard that before? “The Traveler… The Outlander? Aether?”

“Correct. Aether, as some of you prefer to address him. Had it not been for his interference, perhaps this wouldn't have turned out differently—he is an unexpected factor. Though, you, Miss Rosalie, you’re also one.”

Rosalie is still very much confused. But she sits still, obedient, wondering where this might go. The villains would reveal some flaw in their master plan somewhere.

“Or perhaps I would’ve left all of you alone had it not been for Lyney’s disobedience.” Wait, Lyney? “I will not have any distractions to the children occupied with their missions. He has already failed.”

“Y/N has been by my side almost every day. How would she have managed to sabotage a Fatui operation?” Rosalie asks.

“Showing up to Lyney’s show was enough of a distraction. I must admit, even I didn’t expect her to appear that soon. It must be The Traveler.”

“Wait, it was truly Mr. Lyney?!” Rosalie wasn’t even aware that Aether had been more than he let on, much less Mr. Lyney being Fatui.

Oh. Oh! Rosalie remembers now. The day she first saw Aether and Paimon was the day they went to watch Mr. Lyney’s magic show. Since then, you have begun acting strange, and Aether started to linger more often, but Rosalie hasn’t given it much thought. She simply chalked it up to you making friends—definitely not messing up a Fatui operation.

“Are you following, Miss Rosalie? Lyney has failed, and Y/N has disrupted our mission. You see, children in the House who go against our rules receive punishment.”

Rosalie doesn’t like where this is going. She knows the answer already: “What is the punishment?”

“Their lives.”

Rosalie winces. Fatui don’t play around.

“But Y/N isn’t part of the House anymore…?”

“Her memories are no different than one of a child currently in the House.”

At her stunned silence, The Knave seems to take pity. “I have a child that’s concocted a potion to make them kill a part of themselves that was involved with the Fatui.”

Kill a part of themselves?

Rosalie’s brain lags for a second. “Are—are you saying no one’s dyi—”

“If Y/N has no secrets to spill, then there is no reason to punish her. She can enjoy a life that never involves the Fatui in the first place. However, you became a factor. It would’ve been difficult for me to make her forget everything when you were there. If I make her forget her life in the House, she will forget you too, as everything that led up to meeting you involved the House. And that would make things a lot more complicated than necessary on your part.”

Is… she saying that she considered Rosalie’s feelings?

“Now, I am here to allow you to decide. You could also choose to forget her.” The Knave perches a hand on her hip. “You’re her mother now, are you not?”

“Why didn’t you ask Y/N first?”

“Would her answer dictate your decision?”

“Of course.”

“Even if she chose to forget you?”

Rosalie’s mouth parts for an answer. She wishes it was quicker than The Knave’s question that Rosalie feared more than anything, but instead, she finds herself uncertain. “…If that’s what she desires. I have no right to tie her by my side.”

“Hm. Quite an answer.” The Knave looks at Rosalie with what feels like a smile. It certainly doesn’t appear as one—neither side of her lips quirked, but her eyes felt lighter. “But do not worry. It’s why you’re here. Y/N would be asked, eventually.”

Ah. So Rosalie is just bait.

She wants to feel angry at the woman in front of her, but to her horror, she is instead understanding her. Like she could read what The Knave has been concealing behind each word—what the diplomat truly wants to say.

Rosalie hesitates, looking up at The Knave through her lashes. Her crimson eyes are terrifying, and having been tied up to a chair while the fourth of the Fatui Harbingers is standing is just as unsettling—Rosalie hasn’t relaxed an inch throughout the entire conversation.

“You still think of her as your child, don’t you?” Rosalie asks Arlecchino.

Arlecchino, fourth of the Harbingers, director and ‘Father’ of the House, turns away. “Attachments to traitors are only a hindrance in the House.”

It is not a clear answer, but doesn’t that make it clearer?

Rosalie takes a deep breath. She takes one long look at the flower on her lap, thinking back to when you first held one from her shop, froze it, looked at her with the roundest, fearful eyes, and knew that her answer was clear, too.

Thunder roared as the sun dipped behind the rolling hills of Fontaine. It struck badly and poured even worse. Each second passing without Rosalie in your sight, without knowing what could’ve happened to her, itched your rage and despair more and more. The more you worry, the more your temper rises.

You were arguing with Aether as to whether or not you should get the freaking Iudex involved—you vehemently refused, while Aether asserted that it was for Rosalie’s safety as well—when you spotted two familiar figures from afar.

Lynette is leading Lyney inside the shop, side by side. Your ire grows exponentially at the sight of them, hackles rising in a snap. How dare they. How dare they have the nerve to even think about showing their faces to you? How dare Lyney march back into your second life like he didn’t just ruin your first one, but now this, too.

Lyney’s eyes are wide with worry as they reach the door. “Y/N, what happened—”

“Of course you knew where I live,” you say, brimming with contempt. “Did you tell that to your ‘Father’, too? Or was she the one who told you?”

“I was the one who knew, Y/N,” Lynette admits, her voice infuriatingly calm. “Lyney knew you wouldn’t want him knowing where you lived, so I volunteered to get intel and give you his gift. We came here because we thought ‘Father’ did something, and, well…”

The atmosphere drops. Everyone feels it—everyone but you, the catalyst. They flinch at the assault of the biting chill, of your fury in the form of a glacier.

“What… happened?” Lynette asks cautiously, quietly. You’ve never seen her terrified of you; it’s so wrong, but what they’re doing to you isn’t right either. So, really, who’s the bad guy here?

“Rosalie’s been kidnapped,” you say, clipped.

“Your guardian,” Lynette says, surprised. “The woman who runs the shop, right?”

“My mother. Don’t act like you didn’t expect this to happen.”

“We’re pawns in this, too,” Lyney says, finally finding his voice, it seems. “Please, I know it doesn’t seem that way right now. Let us prove it to you if you let us help—”

You scoffed, bitter and cold. You bit back the bite of ice and wondered how ironic it was that every time your Vision acted out, it was, more often than not, tied to Lyney.

“What, so you expect me to believe you’d just go against your ‘Father’ like that?”

“I would,” Lyney says without missing a beat.

How maddening. Aether, Lynette, and Paimon were shivering, wide-eyed and unsure, yet Lyney stood unfazed. No, he burns. His eyes, his gaze, they smolder your bleak anger. But that only serves to irritate you even more.

“Lyney,” you warn.

“I would, Y/N,” Lyney cuts, eyes narrowed fiercely. “I would for you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lyney.”

“I do. And you know I do!”

“Give me a good reason to believe that.”

“Because I lo—” Lyney grits his teeth, and finally, some real emotion—no more tricks, no more lies; his frustration satisfies you—at least until he says, “I like you, okay? You know this.”

Maybe deep down, you really did know. You felt it. Maybe you even feel the same. But your brain’s fogged over, and all you can think about is how Lyney keeps taking everything from you—‘Father’, your pride, your spotlight, and now Rosalie.

Aether reaches out. “Y/N—”

“Shut up. None of this would’ve happened if I never met you,” you snap, turning away at the sight of his eyes flashing with hurt.

You turn and stomp off, refusing to acknowledge their protests and Lyney’s weak pleading. The door slams shut and rattles, with ice spreading from where you’ve touched it. “Find your sister yourself. Stupid brothers, getting me involved… This is why I’m an only child…”

And so you’re back to square one. Alone. So be it. Maybe this is truly where you belong, anyway. You don’t need them, and you definitely don’t need Lyney and his blind love.

This is how it would come to be, eventually. You, leaving; or them, leaving you. You long expected it. Or maybe it is because you forced it—you wanted it like you’d feel in control if things went exactly as you expected.

So why does leaving them feel nothing like control?

notes i know i kept saying i was excited to post this chapter, but now that im actually posting it i got nervous LMFAOO its been a month since the last update. i dont know how i did tbh!!! but either way, tysm for reading and i hope u can stay with me for four more chapters <3

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jesus no

STRESS RELIEF | KAZUHA

IN WHICH: you're a picture perfect student who does nothing but study. he's a slacker who never misses a smoke sesh, but this time, you're invited.

contents- usage of marijuana

(not proofread)

the white haired boy always came late to class with nothing but a joint tucked inbetween his ear, or, some days if he's feeling extra studious, he'd replace it with a pencil. his bandaged hands were always empty, and fiddled with his red lighter under his desk in order to keep himself entertained as lecture continued.

so it was a great shock to you when after various amounts of awkward eye contact, he finally spoke to you, making an unexpected request.

"will you help me study?"

you were a straight A student, always the first one to finish tests, constantly studying in lab, and you never missed a day of class. maybe you were too good of a student and it caused you to lack friends, as your attention was always in the dimly lit screen of your laptop, hurrying to finish up an essay way before it's due date.

however, after some convincing, well more like, constant pestering from kazuha, you finally agreed.

you'd help him study at his place tonight.

that's what you agreed to anyway.

but what you didn't agree to was the high amount of awkward tension that arose between the two of you as he sat close to you, almost hovering over you as he "read" from your textbook.

"it's really not that difficult to understand. maybe let's revise it once more." you suggested, as you slowly scooted away from him.

he slightly threw his head down and let out an amused smirk at your rejection. "god, you read shit like this 24/7 while sober? i commend you." kazuha said, leaning his arm against the table as he turned his body to face you.

"well in what state am i supposed to study in? because it's certainly not drunk nor high." you sighed as you erased his math work, handing him the paper in order to redo it. "you got number 5 & 8 wrong."

he ignored your attempt at changing the topic. "you're always so caught up with your study, do you ever let loose?"

you stayed silent for a bit. you really haven't ever "let loose", you've never had time for it. but to you, it was a little lame, so you decided to lie. "yeah."

"liar."

"i'm not lying."

kazuha let out a small chuckle at your persistence. "so, you wouldn't mind rolling up right now then?"

"rolling up? uh, like, a joint?" you questioned, slightly raising your brow in suspicion.

"yeah. a joint. believe it or not, it'll help us focus a bit more. maybe i'll finally get question 5 right."

you were a bit taken aback by how casually he suggested smoking. it's not like you had anything against it but it just wasn't...you.

so you had no idea how you ended up actually considering it. i mean, exams were approaching, so you've been doing nothing but slaving yourself in the library, and as much as you hated to admit it. you were stressed beyond belief, and somehow, kazuha noticed this as well.

--maybe that's why you both ended up taking long drags of the blunt he'd rolled. with you coughing almost every time you pulled.

kazuha was nothing but amused right now. he wasn't expecting you to actually agree, and it was almost weird to him to see you like this. "so, how are you feeling?" he asked, ashing the blunt on the table before he took another pull.

"i feel okay, i guess." you lied once again. you were definitely feeling the effects of the weed. your mind that was once only filled with anxiety and stress of the next due date of your assignments was now at peace, and you were definitely more aware of your surroundings.

and you couldn't help but notice just how attractive this slacker was.

the red streak on his bangs contrasted his platinum white hair that was tied into a messy half up half down updo, but enhanced his deep red eyes that looked down at the blunt placed inbetween his lips as he relit it.

he finally spoke again as he was able to relight the blunt, taking a long pull and blowing it almost directly in your face. "wanna feel even better?" his voice was low, as sultry as the corners of his mouth curved into a mischievous smirk.

"like, how?"

kazuha placed his free hand on your thigh, slowly running it further up to your inner thigh as he leaned himself close to you, his marijuana scented breath tickling your neck as he spoke.

"allow me to help you relieve some stress."

kazuha looked back at you, his usual softly hued red eyes now burnt with lust as he watched you, awaiting your response.

you were silent for a while, as the blunt burned slowly in his fingers, the smoke seemed to be the only thing that moved as everything else seemed perfectly still.

kazuha took another pull of the blunt that had significantly shortened in size. but this time, he didn't inhale it fully, he kept it in his mouth, moving the smoke side to side before he grabbed your chin, pulling your face only centimeters away from his.

he slightly opened his mouth, the smoke now more dense as it lingered within. you were slightly confused as you copied his movements, hesitantly opening yours as well.

kazuhas lips grazed against yours as he blew the smoke into your mouth, this caught you off guard, but you inhaled it nevertheless.

he didn't move his face away from yours as you inhaled the smoke. instead, his lips met yours, kissing you deeply. the taste of mint mixed with the marijuana that lingered on his tongue intoxicated you, causing you to return the kiss.

you slightly opened your mouth, allowing his soft tongue to enter, intertwining with yours as the kiss deepened and became more erotic. he pressed his body against yours further, pushing you down onto the couch.

kazuha was laying now on top of you, his hand still gripping your thigh as he slowly moved it up and down in a sensual manner. whilst his other hand still holding the blunt that was still lit.

your soft moan of pleasure and the way you interlocked your fingers into the back of his head, gripping a handful of his hair, pushing his lips deeper into yours seemed to be his turning point as he put out the blunt by pressing his against the table, refusing to break the kiss.

"you've ever been kissed like this?" his lips grazing against yours as he spoke.

"...no."

he seemed to have liked this answer as you felt his cold fingers tease your skin when he slipped his hand under your shirt and under your bra, kissing you once more, biting and sucking your tongue every time it entered his mouth.

the tension between you two was only rising as the kiss became more intimate. your body which rose in temperature was fully pressed against his, and you could feel him harden against you.

kazuha bit your bottom lip as he pulled away from the kiss, his hand still caressing your thigh in a suggestive manner.

you took a deep breath as you looked at him, and the awkwardness that was once there was now replaced by high sexual tension that pervaded throughout the room.

"i'll take you up on that offer." you finally answered.

hay días en los que no me reconozco. Veo mi cara en el espejo y no es la misma que ayer, veo mis fotos y no soy la persona del otro día.

No entiendo porque mi cara cambia tanto, ¿a qué se debe? realmente me gustaría entenderlo.

me siento tan disgustado por mi deforme cara que no es la que tenía ayer, me invade la incertidumbre al no reconocerme que solo quiero quedarme encerrado en una caja sin salir al exterior jamás.

taking a bath(⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)

"jealous, jealous, jealous boyy..." w/ kazuha (ft. aether)

scammers get scammed buddy

A GRIEVING HEART (pt. 3), kamisator ayato/reader.

SYNOPSIS... so it would seem there's a bit of eternity left in us all OR KAMISATO AYATO could never begin to understand the change that is love.

⋆ warnings, kamisato ayato & fem-presenting!reader, gentle angst, hehe in-laws, THE CHILD (sora), introduction of reader's family, + comfort for once :) [making a part 4 bc i want a better happy ending tbh]

⋆ notes, thinking about how i was just sobbing my eyes out to 'nobody gets me' by sza for no reason

⋆ tags! @stellakito @iiyumii @neverlandlostchild @hotgirlshit5 @jureminha @yunniemai1 @iamnotobsessed @irisxiel @lumpywolf @mrs-heelshire @kunikuzushisbeloved @pineapplesneedrights @kiyoomiwo @hyunromi @simplyhumanlol @esthelily @chiisananingen @xxevil-pleasurexx @eclevx @jcrml @xiaosonlybeloved @lightoftheamethyst

"WHAT is the meaning of this?!" of the elders slams the paper in his hand down hard on the table, expression incredulous, as if you had asked to give up the entirety of the clan's assets (which you weren't). "this is... preposterous!"

you remain calm sipping your milk tea, not allowing your expression of indifference to waver once. if your mother had taught you anything about being a matriarch, it was that remaining calm out of spite left you on the higher end of the negotiation.

you meet the eyes of every elder in the room, most have begun to break out in protests but one, in particular, remains calm and amused. her violet irises are unmistakable behind her cloak disguise and her interest moves you to continue. "are you all finished?"

this causes a sudden silence to settle over the room, all the attention now brought back to you. "you all seem to have forgotten who the matriarch of this clan is," you begin, eyes narrowed at the highest sitting elder in particular. "perhaps the years i took to raise my daughter in another estate gave you all the opportunity to think that even for one second this clan was yours to do what you pleased?"

"who was it that forged the non-aggression agreement with the tenryou commission? hm? who saved the clan from an investigation by the kanjou commission because some elders seemed to confuse business expenses with fraud?" you take a deep breath, voice still calm. "who spent years suffering through a loveless marriage simply to redeem the image of our entire clan and remain in the favor of the almighty shogun?"

your eyes tear across the elders' expressions, taking in the varying complexions of nervousness and frustration. "if any of you think for even a moment to question my claim to the hayashi clan, then i extend you all the invitation to make your case..." your eyes settle on the head elder. "or keep your mouths shut."

slow clapping emerges from the back of the room, the cloaked figure coming to stand and making her way to the front of the room. there's satisfaction in her eyes when she meets yours. "ara ara, it would seem you have truly grown up, little heiress," she muses. upon recognition, everyone bows their head in greeting.

"t-the elders of the hayashi clan greet the raiden shogun, almighty ruler of the city of eternity." no one dares to raise their head early.

raiden ei waves her hand in dismissal, putting everyone around the room at ease from their greetings. you bow your head, greeting your old teacher. "ei-sensei."

"what is this about marriage troubles i hear?" she turns to examine the expressions of the rest of the elders. "i may not have personal experience in the matter, but i'm sure it's old law to 'do unto him what any man has done you wrong', no?"

nobody in the room offers their thoughts, none looking to speak up before their great ruler. "hm? you all were so enthusiastic earlier to argue authority, why do you all hold your tongues now?"

the first elder speaks up. "i-it's not that we were... questioning authority, your excellence, j-just that perhaps we shouldn't jump to the most extreme of measures... as divorce is..."

"extreme? unfavorable? unadvantageous?" raiden ei hums amusedly to herself, turning to face you, her violet irises sparkling with intelligence. "i would say agreeing to an arranged marriage simply to satiate the greed of clan elders is a little extreme, no?"

you smile at that. "i concur."

the shogun turns to face the rest of the elders in the room. "you all may be the elders of the clan but i don't believe it to be very wise to question the judgement of the hayashi heiress, after all, i'm sure you all enjoy your own personal luxuries which would not have been possible if not for the sacrifice of your beloved matriarch."

looking at the room full of elders, you supposed it didn't hurt to come back home after all these years.

"if loss has taught me one thing," ei begins, coming to stand next to you at the balcony overlooking the sea. "it is that a grieving heart is the most unwelcoming of change."

the wind blows quietly as the sun begins to settle on the city, soft indigo and violet beginning to waltz into the skies. you suppose it's around the evening hour when sora will be returning home from her tutor lessons. "is grief something the raiden ei is familiar with?"

her smile is faint, but she hums lightly. "more than i wish to be." you remember hearing about her sister makoto, and how the loss brought her to retire to the plane of euthymia. "i may not be able to fight your battles, but i wish you eternal courage. she touches your arm lightly and small purple arcs of electro appear to gather where your skin meets hers.

your vision hums where it rests above the plane of your breasts, responsive to its giver. you bow, "the matriarch of the hayashi clan bids farewell to the almighty shogun."

and then you're watching as a pair of guards escort her from the estate, the evening breeze beginning to embrace you.

your mother used to lull you to sleep with stories of her younger days, the adventures, and the thrill. you remember how fixated you were on the tales of father courting her, all the gifts, dramatic proposals, and gloriously embarrassing serenades. the thought of your mother's many rejections has you chuckling to yourself as you watch the sky shift in rosy hues.

"oh, the things love will bring you to do..." she'd say wistfully, kissing you on your temple before bidding you goodnight.

and every night, your father would be waiting by the door, ready to welcome your mother into his arms as they waltzed to retire to their own bedroom for the night, nothing short of enamor in their eyes.

the wind tickles your eyes when you cry and you allow your posture to fold in on itself, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself.

and you weep.

because maybe you wished to be loved a little too.

part 1 ! | part 2 ! | part 4 ! (still in progress)

© tb3ih mmxxiii all rights reserved.

"jealous, jealous, jealous boyy.." ft. diluc

bro was discombobulated