Look, All Feelings Are “valid” But They Sure As Shit Aren’t “facts” Mmkay? Sometimes I Need

“Live to see them die” is the most metal shit I’ve heard today

Food for thought

Ooooooooooh.

If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, don't take their criticism either.

this callout couldve been a block button

Even more critical to remember when the future looks especially bleak. It’s not here yet. Do what you can. ❤️

Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. But its so hard when the world i— shut up! Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future. Don't borrow grief from the future.

Here's a flower: 🌻

Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality

I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.

Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,

We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.

I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.

Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)

That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.

Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.

But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.

And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.

I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)

But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.

Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).

Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.

(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)

At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.

“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.

Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.

Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.

But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.

Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)

Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.

Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”

____

In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.

Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.

Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.

And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.

And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.

👀👀👀

I am saving all of these for later

Hi, do you happen to know of any post endgame fics where it’s discovered that old Steve isn’t actually the real Steve? Or where Steve was lost in the time stream and is trying to make his way back?

Ooh, now this is a good question! I *know* I’ve read some, but I can’t think of them off the top of my head (unless @burberrycanary’s A Man Takes His Sadness Down to the River (The Consolation of Philosophy) series has that plot point? I’m not sure)

However: I’m working on a Time Travel category in The Library and this will probably pop up in there more than once.

In the meantime: can anyone recommend any fics with these points?

3+1 HP Wandlore recs

Raise your wands 🍆 for three Drarry fic recs containing delicious wandlore, plus one bonus non-Drarry ficlet!

🪄 1

Pathless Woods by @shealwaysreads /onereader (30k, Explicit)

Harry finds himself unexpectedly reacquainted with Draco Malfoy when his work as an apprentice wandmaker takes him to Wiltshire. Amongst the trees Harry finds magic, growth, and a man who might finally be proving he’s worthy of the wand that chose him.

Hawthorn, Unicorn hair, 10 inches, reasonably pliant.

A story of found family, trees with feelings, belief in the power of growth, wandlore, and gratuitous description of Handsome Estate Owner™ Draco Malfoy swanning around in white shirts and leather boots.

Wand nerd Harry! Tree nerd Draco! Amazing wand lore and 'forest lore', beautifully and lushly described by Bella, the queen of magical atmosphere. Bonus points for Mr Darcy-style Draco tromping around his estate. Quote that made me snort: "Any promotion of your business will absolutely be based on how gorgeous your wood is.” Harry smiled reassuringly, then blanched at how ridiculous his wording sounded. “Er. I mean. The wood, not your wood. The wand wood, that’s yours.”

🪄 2

A Hag, A Hex, A Tale of Redemption by @aibidil (43k, Explicit)

A fuck-or-die fairytale in which Draco Malfoy lives a despicable and unapologetic life — that is, until he's cursed to die unless he can fall in love with and fuck Harry Potter.

Not only does this fic have fabulous wandlore (wands for non-wizards!), but it's a twenty-four carat fuck-or-die curse fic (in a CONSENT fest, so think about the implications there). It features a a deliciously unredeemed and furious Draco and, of course, is crammed full of Aib's impeccable humour and smarts. The deft use of a folklore-y fable adjacent narrative style rounds off what is simply an excellent fic.

🪄 3

Body Electric by @lastontheboat (8k, Mature)

“What could you possibly want?” Harry asks. "Would you believe I’m here for assistance with my wand?” Malfoy replies, still refusing to meet his eyes, and Harry snorts. “There are other wand makers,” he says tightly. “Unless you’ve slept with all of them as well.”

Packed with magical theory and both wandmaking craft AND Veela magic. The characterisations had me kicking my feet (these boys could bicker for England), and the insanely hot UST had my heart racing. Absolute banger.

🪄 Bonus rec

Ollivander & Thomas, Makers of Fine Wands by @rainstormradish (584 words, Gen)

“Spruce and unicorn hair, eleven inches.” This was how Garrick Ollivander greeted Dean, voice faint and croaky, in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Dean nodded, before realising abruptly that the spruce wand was no longer his.

A glimpse at Dean’s life after the war, his relationship with magic and the wandmaking art he learned to master.

Utterly glorious and fascinating worldbuilding from Radish, featuring Dean Thomas as a wandmaker. This fic is the loveliest thing, chock full of feels, and you'll fall in love with the fabulous goblin girl! 500 words of sheer gorgeousness. Why, why *thumps fist on table* WHY do we not have more Dean fic?

✨Enjoy!✨

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it's inevitable and it happens to everyone and there's nothing you can do about it

I have a man who can do both, and no one else is allowed to have him

I finally watched The Sound of Music and like I get it now, I get it. 

It’s a beautiful two hour love story of a strict man finally opening his heart again and then a fifty minute public service announcement to hate the nazis. Brilliant.