(from a writer of ten years)
So you’re back in the writing trenches. You’re staring at your computer, or your phone, or your tablet, or your journal, and trying not to lose your mind. Because what comes after the first quotation mark? Nothing feels good.
Don’t worry, friend. I’m your friendly tumblr writing guide and I’m here to help you climb out of the pit of writing despair.
I’ve created a character specifically for this exercise. His name is Amos Alejandro III, but for now we’ll just call him Amos. He’s a thirty-something construction worker with a cat who hates him, and he’s just found out he has to go on a quest across the world to save his mother’s diner.
One of the biggest struggles writers face when writing dialogue is keeping characters’ dialogue “in-character”.
You’re probably thinking, “but Sparrow, I’m the creator! None of the dialogue I write can be out of character because they’re my original characters!”
WRONG. (I’m hitting the very loud ‘incorrect’ buzzer in your head right now).
Yes, you created your characters. But you created them with specific characteristics and attitudes. For example, Amos lives alone, doesn’t enjoy talking too much, and isn’t a very scholarly person. So he’s probably not going to say something like “I suggest that we pursue the path of least resistance for this upcoming quest.” He’d most likely say, “I mean, I think the easiest route is pretty self-explanatory.”
Another example is a six-year-old girl saying, “Hi, Mr. Ice Cream Man, do you have chocolate sundaes?” instead of “Hewwo, Ice Cweam Man— Chocowate Sundaes?”
Please don’t put ‘w’s in the middle of your dialogue unless you have a very good and very specific reason. I will cry.
Yes, the girl is young, but she’s not going to talk like that. Most children know how to ask questions correctly, and the ‘w’ sound, while sometimes found in a young child’s speech, does not need to be written out. Children are human.
So, consider the attitude, characteristics, and age of your character when writing dialogue!
If I’m reading a novel and I see an entire page of dialogue without any breaks, I’m sobbing. You’re not a 17th century author with endless punctuation. You’re in the 21st century and people don’t read in the same way they used to.
Break up your dialogue. Use long sentences. Use one word. Use commas, use paragraph breaks. Show a character throwing a chair out a window in between sentences.
For example:
“So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret receipt card, and bring it back before she goes out of business? She didn’t have any other copies? Do I have to leave my cat behind?”
vs.
Amos ran a hand over his face. “So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret recipe card, and bring it back before she goes out of business?”
He couldn’t believe his luck. That was sarcastic, of course. This was ironically horrible.
“She didn’t have any other copies?” He leaned forward over the table and frowned. “Do I have to leave my cat behind?”
The second version is easier to digest, and I got to add some fun description of thought and action into the scene! Readers get a taste of Amos’ character in the second scene, whereas in the first scene they only got what felt like a million words of dialogue.
DON’T OVERUSE DIALOGUE TAGS. DON’T. DON’T DON’T DON’T.
If you don’t know what a dialogue tag is, it’s a word after a sentence of dialogue that attributes that dialogue to a specific character.
For example:
“Orange juice and chicken ramen are good,” he said.
‘Said’ functions as the dialogue tag in this sentence.
Dialogue tags are good. You don’t want to completely avoid them. (I used to pride myself on how I could write stories without any dialogue tags. Don’t do that.) Readers need to know who’s speaking. But overusing them, or overusing weird or unique tags, should be avoided.
Examples:
“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said.
“Why?” Amos growled. “It’s been in the family forever.”
“I’ve lost the secret recipe card, and I can’t keep the diner open without it!” She cried.
“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?” Amos questioned.
“Yes!” Amos’ mother screamed.
“Well, that’s not good,” Amos complained.
vs.
“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said, taking her son’s hand and leading him over to one of the old, grease-stained tabletops with the ripped-fabric booths.
Amos simply stared at her, frozen in place. “Why? It’s been in the family forever.”
“I’ve—” she looked away for a moment, then took in a breath. “I’ve lost the secret recipe card. And I can’t keep the diner open without it.”
“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?”
“Yes!” She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, and her shoulders were shaking. “Yes.”
Amos sat down heavily in the booth. “Well, that’s not good.”
The first scene only gives character names and dialogue tags. There are no actions and no descriptions. The second scene, however, gives these things. They give the reader descriptions of the diner, the characters’ actions, and attitudes. Overusing dialogue tags gets boring fast, so add interest into your writing!
So! When you’re writing, consider the attitude of your character, vary dialogue length, and don’t overuse dialogue tags.
Now climb out of the pit of writing despair. Pick up your pen or computer. And write some good dialogue!
Best,
Sparrow
Thank you for sharing this. I wish I had this when I first joined.
As for all the newcomers, welcome to a brand new world that has existed for some time. Settle on in, beware the annoying bots, reblog, and above all, DO NOT BE TOXIC! Ain't worth your time.
dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)
you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points
we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)
"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is
tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on
this is tumblr, not tiktok. dont diss old tumblr users for how they use the site or try to change them, thats like going into someone elses house and trying to rearrange their furniture. we've been here longer and we're familiar with the site and its culture, either find your niche, adapt, or find a different app
Me with Lurien the Watcher being a 3-D character. When I started writing/drawing Lurien fanfics, he was usually seen as a one-note simp or Herrah's personal punching bag. Years later, things have gotten better now on Ao3.
I should probably make some TallstarXReena fanship too now that I think about it.
When your faves barely have any content
**Using the word ‘said’ is absolutely not a bad choice, and in fact, you will want to use it for at least 40% of all your dialogue tags. Using other words can be great, especially for description and showing emotion, but used in excess can take away or distract from the story.
Neutral: acknowledged, added, affirmed, agreed, announced, answered, appealed, articulated, attested, began, bemused, boasted, called, chimed in, claimed, clarified, commented, conceded, confided, confirmed, contended, continued, corrected, decided, declared, deflected, demurred, disclosed, disputed, emphasized, explained, expressed, finished, gloated, greeted, hinted, imitated, imparted, implied, informed, interjected, insinuated, insisted, instructed, lectured, maintained, mouthed, mused, noted, observed, offered, put forth, reassured, recited, remarked, repeated, requested, replied, revealed, shared, spoke up, stated, suggested, uttered, voiced, volunteered, vowed, went on
Persuasive: advised, appealed, asserted, assured, begged, cajoled, claimed, convinced, directed, encouraged, implored, insisted, pleaded, pressed, probed, prodded, prompted, stressed, suggested, urged
Continuously: babbled, chattered, jabbered, rambled, rattled on
Quietly: admitted, breathed, confessed, croaked, crooned, grumbled, hissed, mumbled, murmured, muttered, purred, sighed, whispered
Loudly: bellowed, blurted, boomed, cried, hollered, howled, piped, roared, screamed, screeched, shouted, shrieked, squawked, thundered, wailed, yelled, yelped
Happily/Lovingly: admired, beamed, cackled, cheered, chirped, comforted, consoled, cooed, empathized, flirted, gushed, hummed, invited, praised, proclaimed, professed, reassured, soothed, squealed, whooped
Humour: bantered, chuckled, giggled, guffawed, jested, joked, joshed
Sad: bawled, begged, bemoaned, blubbered, grieved, lamented, mewled, mourned, pleaded, sniffled, sniveled, sobbed, wailed, wept, whimpered
Frustrated: argued, bickered, chastised, complained, exasperated, groaned, huffed, protested, whinged
Anger: accused, bristled, criticized, condemned, cursed, demanded, denounced, erupted, fumed, growled, lied, nagged, ordered, provoked, raged, ranted remonstrated, retorted, scoffed, scolded, scowled, seethed, shot, snapped, snarled, sneered, spat, stormed, swore, taunted, threatened, warned
Disgust: cringed, gagged, groused, griped, grunted, mocked, rasped, sniffed, snorted
Fear: cautioned, faltered, fretted, gasped, quaked, quavered, shuddered, stammered, stuttered, trembled, warned, whimpered, whined
Excited: beamed, cheered, cried out, crowed, exclaimed, gushed, rejoiced, sang, trumpeted
Surprised: blurted, exclaimed, gasped, marveled, sputtered, yelped
Provoked: bragged, dared, gibed, goaded, insulted, jeered, lied, mimicked, nagged, pestered, provoked, quipped, ribbed, ridiculed, sassed, teased
Uncertainty/Questionned: asked, challenged, coaxed, concluded, countered, debated, doubted, entreated, guessed, hesitated, hinted, implored, inquired, objected, persuaded, petitioned, pleaded, pondered, pressed, probed, proposed, queried, questioned, quizzed, reasoned, reiterated, reported, requested, speculated, supposed, surmised, testified, theorized, verified, wondered
This is by no means a full list, but should be more than enough to get you started!
Any more words you favor? Add them in the comments!
Happy Writing :)
WatcherDadAU! - Violet_Dawn_001 - Hollow Knight (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]
Link Above to Read my Watcher Dad AU!
How much chaos (or cuteness) will ensue once Lurien the Watcher finds and adopts Ghost?
Self portrait from earlier this year. :)
This is beautiful! I was just expecting a picture, not a whole comic! By the way, I only saw this on Epiphany which is the 12th day of Christmas...so you are quite fine in taking the extra time. I find it a wonderful way to celebrate.
(Sorry for taking a few days to answer this one)
Not an ilustration but a small comic this time, just a simple interaction. If ghost could change their cloack I would love to get the fur thing from Mato, like, idk after learning all nail arts you visit him and get it as gift.
Thanks for your suggestion I hadn't actually thought to make something christmas related.
Reposting this so people can see it.
Also, first time drawing Herrah and Monomon in a good while. Now I remember why I stick to drawing Lurien. 🤣
Original Idea: here
Follow Up of this comic: here
My goodness, I never thought of the parallels...
Also, lovely poem.
Two kindly bugs
Lie resting in grottos of their own
Their blessings, an aid
They ease passage
To the hiding place
Of Great Beings
And their boons
Coming back to Black and White to realize "Oh hey, not everything IS black and white. Life's complicated!"
And then they immediately throw Ghetsis in your face. The guy whose mask of lies paint him as Pure White but to call Ghetsis' heart Black would be an insult to the color as his heart is darker than that.
Anyways, I like the fact that Game Freak still took the time to show that truly evil people do exist and they hate us, wanting nothing but us underneath their control (or if that fails) or dead. 💀 Because I ran into rl people like Ghetsis' and I am so happy I was prepared to meet them by playing Pokemon Black and White.
Wow Ghetsis is a lot more problematic than I remembered