Latest Posts by vocabulari - Page 2

Today I am overcome

Such art, such joy, such satisfaction

It has come right back around

And become sadness

The only joy with any depth

Is tempered by grief

A study in contrasts

I weep over Peter Pan

I drink cocktails

I wander alone through a foreign city

An awfully big adventure

I remember the tragedies

I stare at the paintings

I read and hum and try to keep it all in mind

Why must emotion hurt?

My stomach is in knots

My cheeks are sore from smiling

I’m getting crows feet from squinting into

The bright sun on my face, on my skin

It is warm and I am beyond expression

Too lucky to believe this is my life

This is the escapist fantasy

And yet it is not enough

I remember the God-sized hole in my heart

The Lord has promised good to me

His word my hope secures

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures

I am obsessed with the passage of time

Clocks and watches and cycles and things

Why must new experiences

mean new endings?

I’m falling in love with being alive

With God’s creation

Art from sinners

Of the saints

Beauty makes my soul ache.

Feeling so emo over this quote rn bc I made it! I’ve been waiting for this day since I first read this six years ago and to be finally honestly able to say that I have reached a place where I believe it to be true, not just in general but about me, where it truly resonates, is incredible in the literal most literal sense. I don’t believe it but man I sure am glad I stuck it out.

Saw that my bio says 19 but I am now 20 and I had a cognitive dissonance moment,,, I’m twenty? I am in my twenties? I survived teenagerdom not in a funny memey haha yeah I made it way but in a I am alive in my twenties and glad about it way? Like the people who said it gets better weren’t actually punking me and I am alive and breathing and excited for the future and actually starting to get choked up just thinking about it. We made it, past self. I’m so proud of you. You were very brave. You were so little and had no direction but you were so brave. And now, you can have a little travel the world, as a treat. And no more math! Maybe you’ll meet the love of your life this year! Maybe you’ll meet him this month! Maybe it’ll be 10 more years but actually it doesn’t matter because you are alive RIGHT NOW. In 2023. Which sounds fake. But I am telling you the truth. I love you even more than I ever hated you, which I am sure you know was a lot. Past tense. Rest and keep on plugging and chugging. It’s all waiting for you.

Hello Void I am back, I am leaving for the airport in 4 hours and in about 30 hours I will be in Italy for the next four months, and I gotta tell you I am very glad that I decided to stay alive. All glory to God.

I love you and forgive you by the way, just so you know

Am I being unhinged? Mishinged even? Only time and the memory of a version of me that no longer exists could tell you

Palllllllllllllls I haven’t slept in 30 hours and I’m flying home in 36 hours and my room is all packed and empty and blank and depressing and I still feel my amph high even though I took it 20 hours ago maybe bc I took the previous dose only 12 hours before thst so I had more in my system at once anyways I feel kinda loopy and euphoric over classical music Berlioz is my BABE what a bonkers king uwu that’s actually the first time I have ever used and uwu but I am looking around my room now and I may burst into tears I don’t want it to end??? I am aware I sound conked but also bro there is so much everything right now Jesus Lord Christ who I love please help me it’s all coming apart and I still have three finals to do 😘

Drank double strength black tea at 1 am during finals week and the Hat Man Is Here

Today’s edition of curse of crush on unattainable boy is less unattainable and more curse; he’s single and handsome and goes to my school and is one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever had a conversation with and we talked for hours, but it’s finals week and then I’m going abroad and he’s graduating, and right person wrong time SUX pals, getting your heart broken in three hours is very melodramatic but no less miserable for it. Had we but world enough and time etc etc

Tonight’s self-sabotage in the form of staying up way too late is soundtracked by everybody wants to rule the world which I am absolutely losing my mind to, the melody is so -/({#%£?{#£}~!}]€£%{, that is to say an incompressible yummy heartbreaking work of genius, how can it be so happy and so sad at once? Why do I feel so emotional about this? Screee

Actually I am going to love as hard and as fully as I can knowing it will crash and burn and disappear because what loss is worse??? The person or the possibilities??? No pain is as great as I should have, and so I will cry over happy memories instead of wasted ones. Good night, love recklessly everyone

The tension between I will love you enough to stay and I will love you enough to give you my heart knowing I have to leave

There is so much love and joy in my life right now!!! And it all comes with an expiration date!!! How can I brave this season knowing it will be gone in the blink of an eye? How can I be brave enough to give away my heart knowing I will all too soon pack my bags and have to leave it behind? To love is to lose and lose and lose, and there is no other version of this story, and this joy is a mountain top I am about to fall off of. Someone catch me, please.

Curse of crush on unattainable boy

Actually crazy how at 3 am different songs can astral project me so vividly into different points in my mental illness character arc and yes this IS about Lorde and Taylor and Phoebe and other unnamed icons thank you for asking here I am screaming into the void again no one to see no one to hear but I thought that wendy cope line today I love you I’m glad I exist and I meant it and also I’m starting to figure out how to handle my medication so even though me being awake right now is a breathtaking act of self sabotage I am truly trying and a win is a win so… yeah

Hello Void I went to the Lorde concert tonight and my life literally changed I am healed, so many bangers, divine unmatched vibes, top 10 life experience chefs kiss

Wikipedia Poem: “Cosmic Loneliness”

“Cosmic Loneliness”, a poem made of Wikipedia snippets and inspired by @headspace-hotel’s Wikipedia poems.

Per sognare nell’estate

È una volte splendissima,

Il piú dolce, il piú gioiosa, sempre allegra

Voglio dormire sotto il caldo occhio della grande blu

E stare inutile e pacevole al fine del giorno

Trying to stay motivated with my Italian this summer, so I wrote some small verse using only words I already knew. Notably I could neither remember the word for sun nor sky, resulting in the strange little metaphor above. If someone more learned than I notices an error I would be ever so grateful for a correction, even a snotty or disdainful one! Arrivederci, amici, bacci!

Peeling Spring

It’s a citrus kinda day,

Sour sweet oranges and yellows,

I am filled with a tingling on my tongue,

And the smell of summer,

I’m alive,

My hands are sticky,

And taste of tangerines,

It is bright out,

But I’m not blinded,

The sun is in my eyes,

But I remembered my sunglasses,

I’m alive

turn it on in a new kind of bright, it's solar

Solar Power; Lorde 2021

July <3

Lola Ridge // Zhukovsky Stanislav // Charlotte Eriksson // my photo // Rick Bass // @burningmine // Allie Ray // @geopsych // @thepoetryofascension

Charlotte Eriksson

Marti Healy

Hal Borland, Sundial of the Seasons

Terri Guillemets

Roald Dahl

Hal Borland / M. Cumulus Life, Illuminations / Mary Quant / Unknown / Take a Load Off, Joanna Franklin Bell / Unknown / The Wild Marsh Four Seasons at Home in Montana, Rick Bass / July Moon, Louise Townsend Nicholl / VSCO: vxdb / The Months, Linda Pastan / Instagram: KJP / Lot, Bryan Washington / Tumblr: nobodysflower

I sit in a a hot car in a grocery store parking lot. The car is off to save gas, so the air conditioning is off too. I sweat out every drop of bittersweet tea I’ve drunk in the past week. The tea tastes bad today; the sugar granules haven’t dissolved. I enjoy it anyway. I consume my second bagel. Today I got contrasting flavor profiles, salty then sweet. A song that begins as a lullaby and ends in screams of terror plays on a loop. I did not intend the loop, but technology has a mind of its own, and higher powers than my own feeble will have decided this music bears repeating. I stare at asymmetrical rows of palm trees and contemplate the human condition. It is July again. I think I might be healing.

When Lorde said every perfect summer’s eating me alive until you’re gone and when she said summer slipped us underneath her tongue and and when she said it’s time to let go of this endless summer afternoon and when she said there’s a humming in this restless summer air and when she said that slow burn wait while it gets dark, bruising the sun and when she said we roll in every summer when there’s strength in our numbers and we roll in every summer like it’s shameful to be underneath a ceiling or a roof and when she said this is summer playing dumber than in fall and when she said you’re all gonna watch me disappear into the sun and when she said when the heat comes something takes a hold and when she said my hot blood’s been burning for so many summers now and when she said I just hope the sun will show us the path and when she said brain so hot it’s a summer body every day is blue and never cloudy and when she said I don’t wanna get lost I wanna worship the sun and when she said every perfect summer’s gotta say good night and every perfect summer’s gotta take it’s flight

lately, when I think of summer, I think of

being sixteen and overgrown backyards with their old fences and rusted latches that were no match for graceless feet and hands.

warm evenings spent on balconies with our backs pressed to brick or iron, old wood and secrets splintering between us.

breathing in chlorine and lilacs under the rustling shade of a maple tree, and wondering how long you’d smell like home.

long drives and old forts and even older rivers, and the way our legs dangled off the edge of the locks, palms pressed to concrete instead of together.

roadside restaurants and souvenir shops and the way we shared sodas and honeysticks, tasting each other the only way we knew how.

the way you said, “this was fun” and “I’m glad we met,” and the way I asked, “will I see you again?” and all you could do was smile.

lately, when I think of summer, I think of you.

tracking mississippi mud along the richelieu river

support me on ko-fi ☕

Poems for a summer day:

Emily Dickinson

(my favourite poet)

A something In a summer's day

Summer shower

Further In summer than the birds

As sleigh bells seem In summer

It can't be "Summer"!

Summer for thee, grant I maybe

It will be Summer - eventually

I taste a liquor never brewed (the best poem ever)

The one who could repeat the summer day

What shall I do when the summer troubles

Ourselves were wed one summer - dear

So much summer

I know a place were summer strives

Would you like summer? Taste of ours.

There came a day at summer's full

Her final summer was it

Twice had summer her fair verdure

The trees like tassel - hit and swung by

John Keats

The Human Seasons

On the grasshopper and cricket

Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Day

Over hill, over dale - from A Midsummer Night’s Dream

William Wordsworth

Book Fourth [Summer Vacation]

Daffodils (not about summer, but gives me summer vibes)

The Solitary Reaper (again, not about summer, but gives me summer vibes)

Langston Hughes

Summer Night (not about summer, but brilliant poem)

Pablo Neruda

100 Love Sonnets

Poem XVI

Poem LI

Poem XCII

Charles Baudelaire

L’invitation au voyage

Amalgamation of Poems

(these poems are grouped in amalgamation not because they are in anyway less relevant than the others above, the poems below have not been read by me or had been read long ago.)

Moonlight, Summer Moonlight by Emily Jane Brontë

June by John Updike

Love Song, 31st July by Richard Osmond

Apples by Laurie Lee

Warm Summer Sun by Mark Twain

A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky by Lewis Carroll

Fireflies in the Garden by Robert Frost

Midsummer, Tobago by Derek Walcott

A Green Thought by Katharine Towers

Adlestrop by Edward Thomas

When we got to the beach by Hollie McNish

Summer Stars by Carl Sandburg

Before Summer Rain by Rainer Maria Rilke

Morningside Heights, July by William Matthews

Miracles by Walt Whitman

Bed in Summer by Robert Louis Stevenson

Summer night, riverside by Sara Teasdale

The Idea of Order at Key West by Wallace Stevens

In Summer by Paul Laurence Dunbar

For once, then, something by Robert Frost

Summer Holiday by Robinson Jeffers

A boy and his dad by Edgar Guest

Long Island Sound by Emma Lazarus

Bath by Amy Lowell

Summer Morn in New Hampshire by Claude McKay

In the Mountains on a Summer day by Li Bai (personal favourite)

Backyard by Carl Sandburg

Idyll by Siegfried Sassoon

If you get there Before I do by Dick Allen

Fishing on the Susquehanna in July by Billy Collins

Indian Summer by Dorothy Parker

Fragment 31 (Jealousy) by Sappho (brilliant poem)

Constantinople by Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

Green by Paul Verlaine

From the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyám, quatrain IX

To Natasha by Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin

[These poems have an aspect of summer and definitely, most of them have addressed deeper issues through the appearance of a beautiful imagery of summer. This has been created from my own reading experience, google websites and recommendations from friends and professors. If you want me to add anything more, leave an ask or comment. Enjoy these beautiful poems and no hate please.]

And it’s summer again

Sun like tangerine juice

Sky as blue as candy

Days are long and lazy

Speeding to an old song

Flying down the highway

Palm trees in the rearview

Sink into the ocean

Sparkles on the surface

Oldnew freckles darken

Grass is green and dying

Want to skin my knees by

Running on the asphalt

Close my eyes and breathe out

Sweet tea, sticky fingers

Melting ice cream, longing

Sprinklers, seafoam, swimsuits

Everything is all wet

Undercurrents, secrets

Wild, charged, electric

Whispers, laughter, screaming

At the top of my lungs

Sand between the bedsheets

We’re alone together

Only in my mind’s eye

Heat stroke made me drowsy

Home at last, I’m woozy

Piano in a dim room

Fingers fumble, keys sing

Journal then forget it

Playlist, dance, cry after

horizontal body

Everything becoming

Young, but now I’m older

Want to be a kid and

Want to be a grown up

Somewhere in between, though

Endings are beginnings

Time’s a shifting seascape

This enchanted country

Infinite and dreamy

invincible in sunshine

Weak knees in the moonlight

Nothing so romantic

As a joke and shy grin

from a boy with straight teeth

Learn the lines in all things

think I might’ve found a

Paradise right here, now

All divine, eternal

Suspended in summer

Surely it won’t end, right?

Guys I actually played the piano today at a level of competence tolerable to my ears I am funky fruity fresh thriving

Listening to Suzanne by Leonard Cohen repeatedly and I am sick I am SICK, she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from china and the sun pours down like honey on our lady of the harbor.. unwell quaking astral projecting screaming into this void etc.