One of the things that really winds me up about my own writing is looking back and seeing a multitude of sentences beginning with “I” or “And” or “But”. I’m a messy first-drafter as it is and I do a lot of line edits, but it’s still takes up a significant portion of my time going back to change things.
So, I’m here today to share with you the ways I try to vary my sentence starters and some tips and tricks for drafting and edits”
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We all know why it’s important to vary your sentence structure, and by extent, your sentence starters. Besides obvious intentional things such as creating tension, or specific mood/tone/atmosphere, we should be aiming to vary how we start sentences to keep the reader engaged and not it being repetitive.
This is especially important if you, like me, write in first person and begin a lot of sentences with things like “I was” or “I am” etc. Or if you have a habit of beginning sentences with characters’ names. But what other options do we have? Here are five general categories that I like to use:
ING WORDS Coughing, she pushed her way through the blaze. Smiling, he leaned in for a kiss.
SIMILIES (and other techniques) Like the chattering of a typewriter, their eyes flittered over the group in front. Sweeping in like a dove, she cut through the awkward conversation.
PREPOSITION (beside, near, with, across, around, out, at, in, etc.) On the starter’s whistle, I pushed forward. Under the heavy fog, the streetlamp glowed valiantly
CONNECTIVE (Because, but, and, despite, after, before, etc.) After he left, I slipped the dagger back into its brace. But I wasn’t about to give in now. ED WORDS Distracted, she let the ice cream fall from her hands. Stunned by his words, they stopped in their tracks.
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Obviously you can make these examples much more complex and attuned to your own styles! There are lots of other ways you can vary your sentence openers, these are just what I personally use - so hopefully you can get some use of them!
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Hints and Tips!
Use the highlighting treatment! Go through your WIP and focus on your sentence openers. Select a different colour for each category (Blue for She/He/They/I starters, red for ED Words, yellow for ING words, as an example) and use it to help you see where you may need to add some more variation!
This also is a great exercise to do with a published book you really enjoy or by an author you admire - it’s a great learning experience!
Use a good mix of short, long, and medium sentences! If you find that your writing feels a bit samey or dry, even with varied openers, try changing the structure of the whole sentence itself!
Experiment and play around with word order and structure - free write for a few minutes every day and try something new! It’s all practice and even if it never sees the light of day in your WIP, it’s still a worthwhile thing to do!
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I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide and/or found it useful!
If you’d like to request a particular guide, please pop into my inbox and leave a request!
When the players are about to visit a new town, pre-generate several NPCs who fit the demographics of the town, but don't give them jobs. Your town is Mostly human, with a number of halflings and gnomes? Make a list that's mostly humans with some halflings and gnomes mixed in, with names that match the vibe you're going for and maybe the barest description + a quirk of some sort.
So the list would look something like this:
Ophelia Bracegurdle, older Halfling woman who laughs a lot
Norabecka Johnson, a young human woman who seems tired
Geraldofinio Babblecock Nimsy, gnome gentleman who takes pains to maintain a fabulous mustache
Etc.
Then, when the players are like, "Can I go to the blacksmith?" You look at your list of NPCs and the one at the top is Ophelia Bracegurdle. She's your blacksmith now. Then they want to go to the tavern, where Norabecka is the innkeeper and Geraldofinio is a patron having a drink at the bar. He's using a straw so he doesn't mess up his mustache.
If they had gone to the inn first, Ophelia would have been the innkeeper with Norabecka as the patron, and then Geraldofinio should have been a blacksmith with some sort of mustache guard to keep the sparks off.
Making the list ahead of time doesn't take much time, and you can often re-use the people you never got to at the next town.
Your world will seem vibrant and interesting and like you have everything planned out.
Have fun!
¹⁾ “we were so drunk.”
²⁾ “i was trying to protect you!”
³⁾ “i never thought it would go this far.”
⁴⁾ “this wasn’t supposed to happen, i swear.”
⁵⁾ “he swore he wouldn’t tell anyone.”
⁶⁾ “you’re- you’re never around anymore!”
⁷⁾ “if i’d have waited any longer, the outcome would have been so much worse.”
⁸⁾ “you started this shit, i’m only trying to get us out of it!”
⁹⁾ “i… i just wanted the chance to prove myself to you.”
¹⁰⁾ “yeah, ‘cause you’re all such fucking saints.”
¹¹⁾ “i was handling it fine until you got involved!”
¹²⁾ “i wasn’t thinking, that’s the whole point!”
¹³⁾ “you didn’t give me any other choice.”
¹⁴⁾ “i gave you a pass when the roles were reversed, so maybe a little understanding wouldn’t kill you.”
¹⁵⁾ “if this were anyone else, you wouldn’t be riding them half as hard and you know it.”
¹⁶⁾ “you’ve been under so much pressure… i thought i could take a little of it off you by taking care of it.”
¹⁷⁾ “all i did was put my trust in the wrongs person.”
¹⁸⁾ “if you hadn’t chewed me out so damn hard for asking for your help last time, maybe i would’ve felt safe enough to do it again.”
¹⁹⁾ “do you have any idea what it feels like to be lonely in your own house? of course you don’t, because you’re never fucking here!”
²⁰⁾ “i didn’t think you’d care. nothing else ever seems to make you, so why should this!”
when a powerful figure is reduced to kneeling. when the lord is forced to bow. when the exile stumbles into an unwelcoming bar. when the “beast” is chained by their horns. when a god is dragged behind their enemy’s chariot, a captive and trophy. when the loyal “guard dog” character is muzzled and the silver-tongued thief falls silent in horror.
that’s the shit
it’s about the contrapasso. the reversal of roles and the sudden, plunging terror of being unable to hide.
this is what it means to be human
Everything, Mary Oliver
The Breathing, Denise Levertov
A Prayer by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski
Like a Small Café, That’s Love by Mahmoud Darwish (translated by Mohammad Shaheen)
Having a Coke with You by Frank O’Hara
Eating Together by Li-Young Lee
The Orange by Wendy Cope
The Quiet Machine, Ada Limón
To Go Mad, Paruyr Sevak
Our Beautiful Life When It’s Filled with Shrieks by Christopher Citro
Hammond B3 Organ Cistern, Gabrielle Calvocoressi
Peace XVIII, Khalil Gibran
Your Unripe Love, Paruyr Sevak (from “Anthology of Armenian poetry")
Here and Now by Peter Balakian
Ich finde dich (I find you) by Rainer Maria Rilke
The Thing Is by Ellen Bass
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
Miss you. Would like to take a walk with you. by Gabrielle Calvocoressi
I Want to Write Something So Simply by Mary Oliver
What's Not to Love by Brendan Constantine
Where does such tenderness come from? by Marina Tsvetaeva
You Are Tired (I Think) by E. E. Cummings
Living With the News by W.S.Merwin
What the Living Do by Marie Howe
September 1913, William Butler Yeats
The Imprint of September Second, Ethan Gilsdorf
September, Joanne Kyger
Drowning in September, Eric Pfeiffer
September, H Stuart
September Tomatoes, Karina Borowicz
One September Night, Franco Fortini
September Sunday, Lucille Broderson
September, 1918, Amy Lowell
September Midnight, Sara Teasdale
Monday, September 25, 2006, Susan Schultz
One September Afternoon, Leo Dangel
adapted from <Writer's Craft> by Rayne Hall
Suspense
Show your characters gearing up, readying themselves.
The pace is slow, the suspense is high (use suspense techniques)
Provide information about terrain, numbers, equipment, weapons, weather.
May have dialogue as the opponents taunt each other, hurl accusations, or make one final effort to avoid the slaughter.
Don't start too early - we don't need to see the hero getting out of bed, taking a shower and having tea.
2. Start
Fighters get into fight stance: knees slightly bent, one leg forward, abdominal muscles tensing, body turned diagonally, weapons at the ready.
Each side will usually try to be the first to strike, as this will give them advantage.
The movements in this section need to be specific and technically correct.
3. Action
This section may be quick or prolonged. If prolonged, no blow-by-blow descriptions are needed.
Focus on the overall direction of the fight
Make use of the location to make characters jump, leap, duck, hide, fall, etc.
Mention sounds of weapons
4. Surprise
Something unexpected happens: building catches fire, a downpour, relief force arrives, staircase collapses, bullet smashes into the only lightbulb and everything goes dark, hero losses his weapon, etc.
Add excitement, raise the stakes.
5. Climax
Both sides are tired and wounded
The hero is close to giving up, but is revived with passion
Move to the terrain's most dangerous spot: narrow swining rope-bridge, a roof-edge, sinking ship, etc.
Don't rush the climax! Hold the tension
6. Aftermath
The fight is over: bes buddies lying dead, bandaging, reverberating pain, etc.
Use sense of sight and smell
The hero may experience nausea, shaking, tearfulness or get sexually horny
Fight scene length
Historical/adventure/fantasy: 700-1000w
Romance: 400-700w
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