“a Toxic Label

“Hey,” he said, half-asleep, “what were you before you met me?”

“I think I was drowning.” A pause.

“And what are you now?” he whispered, sinking.

I thought for a second. “Water.”

When my memory of you seems to fade

And I ask, "Who are we?"

Read to me

The letters I wrote for you

Tell me the stories behind them

When my memory of you seems to fade

Play me our favorite songs

And sing me ours

Remind me about our love

The way you have always reminded me

When my memory of you seems to fade

And I don't recognize you

Remind me of,

The evening that rained like the world was ending

Ask me 36 questions

Look me in the eye and demand the 4 minutes I rain-checked on.

When my memory of you seems to fade

And I flinch away from your touch

Hold my hand in yours tighter

Let the warmth of your hand

Unfreeze my memories of you that I dearly cherish.

Malyen Oretsev in Ruin and Rising (Leigh Bardugo)

I posted 55 times in 2022

That's 15 more posts than 2021!

27 posts created (49%)

28 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fennecshandgf

@sleepyowlwrites

@the-shooting-star

@inkinmyskinandsoul

@judas-redeemed

I tagged 25 of my posts in 2022

#poetry - 22 posts

#loveforwords - 21 posts

#poets on tumblr - 21 posts

#chaos.and.clutter - 21 posts

#poems on tumblr - 21 posts

#quotes - 21 posts

#literature - 21 posts

#books - 20 posts

#musings - 20 posts

#fiction - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 27 characters

#my head is about to explode

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I read that Grief is a derived word

A word that stemmed from the Latin word gravis.

Gravis - Heavy.

A weight that we've to carry on our own

Because there's only I in Grief.

Most often there are no exit wounds.

It tears your skin and lodges within.

Sometimes we learn to live with it.

Sometimes we have to cut ourselves open and let it out.

And when there are exit wounds,

You've to be courageous enough to let it pass through you.

Tear open your skin twice.

There's no Us in Grief.

I can only sit next to you and hold your hand

While you're hurting.

Hoping you'll pull through.

And then help you stitch your exit wounds.

11 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#4

recently came across The Beatrice Letters by Lemony Snicket which screams love in every possible way. So I had to make my own version of it. Dramatically speaking: An homage if I may.

The Beatrice Letters: Unsent

I will love you if this is the last time I get to tell you, and I will love you if this is the only time I get to tell you that I do. I will love you as an empress loves her emperor, and as the emperor loves his subjects, and as his subjects love their empire. I love you as a moth loves flame and as flame loves metal. I love you as a warrior loves her sword and as the sword loves to draw blood. I will wait for you as Olaf waits for summer and as a pied cuckoo waits for rain. I will love you if our forever starts today, I will love you if our forever ends today, and I will love you if we never even stood a chance.

I love you as the sun loves the sea and as the sea loves the salt. I will love you as long as it takes to separate the salt from the sea and the salt from my tears. I love you as Shakespeare loves tragedy, and as tragedy follows every hero, and as the hero slowly starts to fall in love with the villain. I will learn to say I love you in every existing language, and then I will learn to speak your love language. I will love you as the poets love the moon and as the moon loves to chase a car. I will love you when you think the world of someone else, I will love you as that world falls apart, and I will love you as my world falls apart. I will love you when my world is full of light, and I will love you from the shadows of my mind.

16 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Doesn't a word look weird when we stare at it long enough? Doesn't the alphabet look slightly meaningless when we write it over and over again? Here's one: CLING C-LING, C-L-ING, C-L-I-NG, C-L-I-N-G. Does this make sense? It doesn't sound like a word the more you say it. It doesn't look like a word the more you write it. The curves and strokes, dots and dash!

Isn't it how the name of the people you love changes? At some point, it stops being a name, a word that belongs to them. It becomes a feeling that belongs to you. It stops sounding like a word or a random string of letters. It becomes a string of feelings you cling to when life falls apart. Their name on your phone screen stops looking like a word. Every notification and phone call conjures an image of them looking at you and smiling before you can even look at it twice. That particular string of curves and strokes, dots and dash Once belonged to them and is now beloved by you Which you randomly write in the air because it gives you comfort.

Sometimes we take names for granted without realizing the power it holds. When all it takes is that one word to appear on your screen to get you through another tiring day.

23 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#2

CROWDED TRAIN RIDES

We save the most intense conversations

For the crowded train rides back home.

Not the same home. Not now. Not ever.

We stand in between the bustling crowd,

Look out the window and avoid each other's eyes

You hum under your breath, and I pretend I didn't hear it

We talk about the day in moments.

Ones that made us laugh, ones that felt grateful,

And then about the ones we didn't think the other would notice.

That brings a smile to your face,

So I crack open my otherwise dark heart just a little.

To let that light inside. You smile again, and I break again.

I tell you things I wouldn't tell you when we're alone

In the silence of an empty road where you can hear my voice break

So I find comfort in the crowd muffling out my pain.

The train stops, and you forget it's time.

It's time for you to get down, that it's time for us to reset.

We hug, you get down, and I watch you walk away.

One of these days will be our final train ride like this

Where we talk about us.

And we'll get down, go home. Not the same. Not ever.

But maybe one that's just as loved.

39 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Beatrice Letters by Lemony Snicket

42 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

i overthink….therefore….i overam….

july 15 // incinerate

@the2headedcalf / On Love, Alain de Botton /  @tilthat / Céline Sciamma / Twitter: Nightshiftmp3 / Twitter: Thepartypope / Portrait of a Lady on Fire / The Clean House, Sarah Ruhl / The History of the Band-Aid / weird-facts.org / 

nina: I’m cold.

matthias: have my jacket.

inej: I’m cold.

kaz: *gets wylan to set ketterdam on fire*

“Words were different when they lived inside of you.”

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via razreads)

“Fuck you, my child is completely fine” 

YOUR CHILD IS OBSESSED WITH SIX CRIMINALS!