Throwback To When I Was A Kid And I'd Get Such Painful Mouth Ulcers I'd Refuse To Eat💔 #missthat

I can’t live like this anymore.

I deleted tumblr for the week because my phone had no storage but I’m back now.

I’ve had the worst time. It’s bad enough I was demotivated after getting t-worded but im actually so done.

Two months. Two fucking months in a plateau.

I caved. I weighed in. I knew it wouldn’t be completely accurate because I haven’t pooped in days, I’ve eaten today and I had chippy the day before, so it’d be high in sodium, but to see the scale jump up FIVE LBS since the pre-October weigh in was horrible. Last time I hit a lw was the last week of August. This isn’t fair.

Why am I putting my body through hell when all I get is no fucking energy, being sad all the time, JUST TO GET FUCKING FATTER!?

I count every calorie, I stress over everything, I’ve lied to my family and done everything I can just to gain weight even though I’ve been in a deficit on average of 500 cals a day(I take metab days but my deficit on other days evens it out). I should have lost like 8lbs since August but I haven’t.

And to make it all worse my parents caught me skipping lunch during school. So now they’re like stalking me to make sure I eat lunch, making me eat higher calorie dinners, and banning zero calorie drinks from me. There’s nothing I can do anymore. What do I do?

Ik a lot of people spread awareness about @na coaches that are just pedos, but if anyone was a victim of one and needs someone to talk to can dm me any time

I haven't used tumblr for so long and trying to get myself back into the swing of things after attempted recovery is so odd. Like what do I do?? What tf are communities?? Help😭🙏

I love tracking full meals after only taking one bite then being upset the number is so high😍😍

Buy me a scale, walking pad and a ninja creami and my heart is yours♡

Someone kidnap me after my exams are done and ⭐️ve me in their basement all summer

I might start buying acv gummies again but I need to hide it better this time because last time my parents went through my room and found all the empty bottles and went mental at me

Lowkey don't care if I lose hair this time again because 1) my hair is too thick anyway, and 2) I can save up and get pretty extensions

Ugh 4n4 coach needed fr😔

Thinking about my thighs makes me nauseous