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Y/n: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Kaeya: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Jean : Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Kaeya, learn to listen.
Lisa: What if it bites itself and I die?
Amber: That’s voodoo.
Eula: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Kaeya: That’s correlation, not causation.
Lisa: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Amber: That’s kinky.
Y/n: Oh my God.
The squad is over at Y/n's house*
Kaeya: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Y/n: ... N-No...
Y/n, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Kaeya, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Jean : I see a-
Y/n, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Kaeya: Oh, well I-
Y/n: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Y/n, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Lisa: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Amber: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Y/n: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Y/n: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Y/n, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Y/n: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Eula, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Y/n:
Kaeya: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Y/n:
Y/n, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Y/n: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Kaeya: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Jean : I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Lisa: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Amber: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Eula:
Eula: I have emotional scars.
Y/n: Rules are made to be broken.
Jean: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Kaeya: Uh, piñatas.
Lisa: Glow sticks.
Amber: Karate boards.
Eula: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Y/n: Rules.
Jean:
*The squad right before Y/n's wedding*
Kaeya: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Jean : Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Lisa: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Amber: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Eula, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
Y/n: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Kaeya: >:O language
Jean : Yeah watch your fucking language
Lisa: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JEAN THE FUCK WORD?
Amber: 'The fuck word'.
Eula: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Jean : Oh my god they censored it
Amber: Say fuck, Eula.
Jean : Do it, Eula. Say fuck.
Y/n: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Kaeya: You? Magic? Y/n, it says talent show.
Y/n: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Jean: Mind your language!
Y/n: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Jean:
Y/n: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.