Chandler Riggs X Reader - Blog Posts

IN-BETWEEN DAYS

Carl Grimes x Reader

⚠️ Warnings: language ⚠️

The light was so bright it hurt your eyes.

The smell of the hospital room was one you'd never forget. It was your dad's last moments, after all, and the place reeked of death and old perfume. You tried your best to focus on something as silly as the smell to keep you distracted from the scene that was playing out before you. Your dad, lying helpless and stating up at the ceiling as a flurry of doctors rushed around the room and around his bed, yelling incoherent sentences to the others before beginning the procedure. You knew it wouldn't work. He was already gone.

The same light that seemed so bright to you left his eyes and a hoarse sigh escaped his lips. He died smiling and you knew it was purely because he saw your mother waiting for him on the other side.

...

Your father never had to live in this apocalyptic world, which was a good thing. He had died of a heart attack a few years back and you focused on keeping yourself alive throughout all the chaos surrounding you. You were a different person now then you were back then. You wondered if he'd be proud of the shitty decisions you've made leading up to this point; the way you had to teach yourself how to fight and kill, never letting anyone into your heart and break down your walls. That is until you met Carl.

You had been an orphan after your father's death, going in and out of orphanages and foster homes until the apocalypse hit. You found yourself all alone after that and did your best with what you could to survive with what you had. You had met Rick's group along the way, finding out later that they had just lost their last shelter which apparently was a prison not to far from where you were stationed. An old treehouse.

Why you were remembering your past at a time like this, you didn't know why. You just felt especially nostalgic today of all days and you were reminded of your father because Carl had found one of your favorite CD's while out on a run- The Cure.

Your father had also enjoyed The Cure and it felt even more painful to listen to it today, because of the nostalgia and the fact that you were finally starting to enjoy bits and pieces of what was left of the world without him. You felt guilty. Guilty for letting him die.

No. It wasn't your fault.

But it felt like it.

You pet Carl's hair as he laid in your lap, eye closed and lost in thought as you both listened to the song 'In Between Days' by The Cure. You weren't sure what he was thinking about, but part of you felt as though he was reliving his past and overthinking the his actions too. It was songs like these that made you feel your past creeping up on you again. You didn't mind thinking about your past. Your father had been sick for a very long time. You had killed people before but you would do it all over again to save those you cared about. You wondered if Carl felt the same.

He didn't let anyone into his head. He never had a problem showing emotion around you, he just preferred to lay in your lap as you both reminisce of the way things were before and you glide your fingers through his messy locks of hair. It calmed you as well, being able to hold him in that way, a way he wouldn't let anyone else.

The winter was colder, so often times Carl would make his way over to where you were sitting on the couch and lay his head down in your lap looking for the comfort that only you could give him. Sometimes he'd fall asleep on you but you didn't mind. You were an insomniac anyways, so having something as soothing as Carl's short and heavy breathing as you lied awake helped you relieve the tension of the day.

"Are you still awake?"

The blue eyed boy looked up at you, finally opening his eyes and letting a tear slip down his cheek. He looked beautiful that way. His eyes were stormy and the light shining in through the windows of your living room cast shadows across his face and made his freckles seem electrified.

"Yes." Was all you replied with. It was all you could reply with since you were still zoned out.

He moved so he was sitting next to you on the couch and eased you down onto his lap so he could return the loving gesture. You made yourself comfortable against the cold denim of his jeans and felt his hands run through your (H/L), (H/C) hair.

"(Y/N), I don't know if I've told you this before, but Robert Smith is a wonderful musician. I can see why you and your dad liked him so much." He said, as you started to fall asleep against him.

"Yeah. He really is. This song reminds me of you."

"How so?"

You sighed. "It's a beautiful irony. Isn't it? The song seems so happy and uplifting at first glance, but there's so much meaning behind the lyrics and the more you think about them the sadder the story gets. But it is also beautiful. It's beautiful in the way that it reminds you of all the times you felt infinite, the times your heart was broken, and the overwhelming sense of being forgotten but then remembering how meaningful love is."

He was silent for a moment before he spoke "I've never had someone understand me on a level that emotional before. It's kind of nice being around you. I don't have to say anything and you've already got me all figured out. It's why I love you."

You felt the importance of his words flow through your mind and travel down every part of your body. It was so nice to be told you're loved and not from your parents. You weren't sure if there was a greater feeling then that of being loved. And you were loved by Carl so it was extra special.

"I love you too Carl."

And with that, you drifted off to sleep, Robert Smith filling your ears with happiness and Carl underneath you, rubbing small circles in your hair and making you feel infinite. You only felt infinite with Carl. Next time you listened to this song, you knew you would be reminiscent of this moment.

(Gifs aren't mine, sorry the story was so short it's currently 4:00 am and I am on day #2 without sleep)