Dialogue Prompt - Blog Posts

Sometimes a person tries to confess their love for their enemy and comes up with profound shit like, "Because I'd find you even if this entire divided world worked together for once just to tear us apart, your soul and mine are made of the same stuff, and we'll have to change atom to atom to be anything other than each others. Because even if you tired to stab me it'll only work to cut of some ancient infected wound, because you'll always be my savior, even if you try to hurt me"

Other times they say shit like, "Because maybe I like your stupid face."

"Remember when I said I would rather cut of my own lips than kiss you?Yeah, I might have been a little wrong."

"Maybe I don't hate being around you when you're not trying to kill me."

Wow, the first confession turned out pretty good. I'm trying to reach 500 follows pls halp

"Hellooo? Anyone there?"

"...No."

"What the— wait, did you get yourself stuck in a trap? Wait a second," the hero couldn't stop their giggles, "in your own lair, and was that meant for me! How did it even happen, pssshh"

"Stop laughing and get me out of here."

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I had the dumbest fukin idea but consider?!! We all love the hero and villain being soulmates kay? But what what if they are not, they just have the same soulmate. Like person C randomly finds both the city's most famous hero and infamous villain vying for their attention. Living that y/n life cause they're their soulmate.

Is your villain the type to nobly give them up cause they deserve better. OR,

*Hero gives them flowers and chocolates* *Villain finds 4-foot Bouquet and cratefull chocolates to one up them* again and again until they're stuck at c's lawndoor together because they were both running to enter first with a teddy bears bigger than them screaming "get your vanilla ass away from them you wet cabbage" as they push the hero face away from them while struggling too free themselves.

C just sighs in disappointment while sipping their morning coffee and probably goes on a childhood friends to lovers arc with the boy next door who eventually cuts them out from the door

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*Villain calls hero in the middle of the night*

Hero-: umm hey?

Villain-: *sniffs* I watched a show and now liquid keeps falling from my eyes? Is it an allergy? Infection? Cancer?!

Hero-: Do... Do you mean tears! :0

Villain-: is it terminal?

But seriously my eyes have been leaking this gross gluelike thing since yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm about to die. Follow for updates or assume disaster if I don't post

The hero shows up to foil the villains plan but instead end up fighting that other hero, their rival, who also showed up to fight them. While the vilain presumably drinks a margarita, both confused, amused and carrying out their plan before their bickering ends.

A: "I'll handle handle this, you can go home and bake cookies or something."

B: "Really?And tell me how you plan to fight a supervillain. The power of friendship?"

A: *sigh* "Can we just be civil about this."

B: "No we cannot you stole my binkin' promotion"

A: "Fine.I'll let you help me defeat them. Deal?

B: "bish, excuse me."

Elf is on the shelf, follow for trash to be on the dash

But the villain and the anti-hero bitching about the popular hero is like the funniest shit ever

"Have you seen them? Blond hair, white costume, holier than thou attitude?"

*deadpan* "Oh, wow, do all heroes have a giant stick up their ass."

"You've kidnapped the mayer? And yet I'm the anti-hero." " What a kiss ass huh?"

"And I thought Villain's monologues were intolerable, do excuse me while I bludgeon myself."

"So you're working with hero now? Being an anti-hero really requires sacrifices huh?" *Grabbing a screwdriver to start working beside villain on their death ray* "Some things are just not worth it"

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But every cliche hits harder when it's enemies to lovers tho.

Friends to lovers, "The view is beautiful" *not looking at the view* "Yes it is." ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

But that in enemies to lovers- ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The *grabs hand* "we need to run!" Close proximity with your nemesis? Sign me up

Hiding in small spaces? Uhhh, yesss!!

The hand on the mouth because their making too much noise? Hmm, good stuff.

Making it enemies to lovers just adds so much internal tension, I'll always stan

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Enemies to lovers combat things I will give up my mother's first born for— I'm an only child btw

Swordfight interactions when one of them is gaining and the swords are at the other's shoulder and their faces are too close

ESPECIALLY, if the other flirts or kisses the other to distract them

Any type of flirtation intended as a distraction for that matter

When one gets both swords and pins the other between a wall and them with a sword embedded on either side of them like giant thumb tacks

A Bending way too low to avoid an attack and being caught just as their balance fails them

B pulling A's hand hard after and A is flung at B's chest

Abruptly pushing them back after that cause why not (they were flustered and have no social skills)

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Enemies to lovers where one's heart is beating fast af cause they find the other attractive but when asked they are like "tis' tis is my unbridled rage for them/you!! Dumbass!! This is the sound of bloodthirst bish, totally just the blood kind of thirst hrmph!"

OR

Their heart is beating cause of fear/panic but they'd rather chew their own leg of then admit it so when out of excuses they go, "it's cause... Um, I found you... Hot? Yup that's it. I'm just into ya. Nothing suspicious here haha"

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Okay, so most heroes and villians are treated like celebrities in their worlds right? With fandoms and media coverage and everything? So, whyyy isn't it used more in their ships? The opportunities are close to endless.

Being a popular presence in each other's identity conspiracy boards.

Fighting each other's fans online cause 'they suck, why do you like them. I totally don't get it.'

Getting jealous because they're articles about them fighting other heroes/villains.

Dating scandals. Dating scandals. Dating scandals.

How do they respond to their in world shippers?

The heroes being horrified cause their 'I may respect their noble goal but I still oppose everything they stand for' speech came out a little thirstier then they wanted. And the villian being absolutely over the sun about it.

aNd so so much more

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I see your 'Hero breaks the villain out of jail cause they miss them.' and I raise you, 'But it's nowhere near the first time. There aren't even any heroes anymore cause they're both wanted supervillains. Each of them would have achieved world domination ten times over by now if they didn't keep foiling each other's plans. The prison doesn't even install cameras or security anymore because the insurance company has added a will not refund for damages incurred during a hero-villiain roleplay clause to their terms. Just two idiot maniacs fighting and insulting thier way through supervillainy and giving the city hell'

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Angry love confessions! Okay,

Shouting "Because I love you! You big idiot!" in the middle of arguments.

The HuRT in "Why do you care anyway."

The repeatedly screaming i hateyou, I hateyou I hate you and then stopping looking them in the eye and immediately passionately kissing then?!!

Getting your senses back and like no no no what did we do.

Or, Whispering "I am still mad at you" in between kisses.

Just angry love confessions.

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Not like other girls but it's a villain, not as in a nlog is a villain (also good) but a 'not like other Villains', and not as in secretly a good guy, but in a 'absolutely bad, but very ardent in making sure they're not bad in a cliche way and going hilariously wrong' way

"What? Did you think I'll be in full black or something? Geez." *Said while wearing whiter than white clothing, jacket, shoes and goggles and sipping milk out of a clear glass (hero has to assume it's heavily spiked)*

"Did you seriously think that'd work, that you'd just get me rambling that easily, do you think I'm stupid, you have no idea, this time in 07, no 06, someone tried the same blah bhlah blah." *Hero smiles knowingly and continues to climb the rope as the villain turns back*

"Now I'd tell you all about my plan but that'd be stupid."

"I won't tell you anything... except that it has the nuclear fission model that won me this" *giddily holding up a certificate saying evil scientists visionary award*

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If your villain disguises themselve to seduce the hero, they legally have only two options going forward.

They fall in love with them in disguise but the hero is 100% not interested, saying they are in love with someone else, unbeknownst to them the one they're in love with them is their villainous form (because the hero has read one too many enemies to lovers books)

Or, or, The hero IS interested, and the villain vigorously denies their own feelings telling themselves it's all part of the plan, until on a date, the hero does something for them that they'd never do for them as a villain (I watched this drama about basketball rivals where A always wins until B plays in disguise and they let them win and they staight up loose it because they're so hurt, it still lives in my head rent free) and so the villain angrily reveals their identity. But the hero is just like, 'duh, I knew. Literally all you did was put on a wig, dumbass' (even better if their shapeshifter or something so they didn't have any way of knowing but still they just kNoW, you know)

Okay but who invented the trope of the 'hero's side kidnaps the Villains very sweet,meek, kind sidekick/friend/relative for a hostage situation but turns out they're actually scarier than the villain' and have they been awarded a noble peace prize yet. (Bonus points if they're very bossy and the villian is low-key scared of them. Also if they're very old.)

"Hello Villain, we've kidnapped x—" "I'm sorry." "Well you should be and uh," " No, I'm sorry for you, good luck." *Hangs up*

Hero "We don't want anybody to get hurt." "Me either," *standing up already having undid their bindings* "So if you'll just step aside."

*Tiny person dressed in bloodstained pastel colours and floral designs walks into villains lair with a single fork in hand* "Villain! How long does it take to pick up a single person from the hero's, I had to walk all the way over here!" Villain*sweating* "I'm sorry."

When the villain has been quite for days, Hero breaks into the villains lair to find their plans, they expected it to be hard, but hard as in boobie traps, but what they saw was much, much worse. Truth was the villain is... The villain is a... Massive slob. Slob as in literal piles of hoarded items all around.

"Well, truth is I was drawing up a plan for a takeover, but I kind of, just... Forgot were I put them, And I don't really have the best memory, so... I just remember it involves massive lab grown penguins... And I may or may not have already placed an order."

"Do you remember literally anything else!"

"let me think... Hmm... Naw, I got nothing. And I don't appreciate how judgemental you're being."

"Finders keepers bitch!!" "May as well if I can get a clean house out of it."

*shoving a giant box filled with candy wrappers in the garbage bag.* "You can't seriously be living like this."

*scrunching their nose at like 10 giant bags of dog food* "You know, I was considering switching to your side, but now I don't think I can't trust someone who lives like this."

*about the giant stack of teddies all with various villainous accesories* "The state of your house is literally making me more anxious than the giant penguins that could be loose in the city right now."

I will absolutely inhale any piece of media containing, my beloved, 'Two same-gender people, likely a mean girl and good girl are initially presented as romantic rivals for the most average boy you'll ever meet, but turns out they were just really gay aNd dumb all along.' it just has so hard 'fuck men, who even needs em anyway' it gives me life.

aNd And, when the mean girl (or boy) AGGRESSIVELY tries to deny her own gayness by trying to convince herself she just has feelings for the boy, and just fails so so bad. Like her internel monologue is just 264996 things I hate about you and then proceeding to simp plus extra for the girl and then telling herself she's into the boy. It's a high and I'll chase it all my life

+ if the boy's and adorable himbo jock and thinks they're into him. The second hand embarassment!! 😂. Tbh works if he's an ass too but flipped on its heed, the absolute joy of watching him embarrass him.

I can read 37926 books with the exact same plot.

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Bitches with trust issues love enemies to lovers because they love the idea of seeing someones worst traits first and still be able to fall in love them without the everpresent underlying fear of weather their worst is something genuinely evil. It's me. I'm bitches.

Are you a 'Tol pins smol to a wall with dagger to their throat'gay or are you a 'smol pins tol to the floor while straddling their waist'gay or are you a 'Tol is tied to a chair while smol uses a knife to lift their chin'gay

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Hero and villain are enemies but somehow end up co-parenting an angry gay youth (yes, I'm self inserting okay) who was a struggling street kid or smth (bonus points if they're also less than a decade older)

"Greetings, parental figure. This billionaire d*ck" "Language. " " is evading taxes and illegally dumping toxic waste. Do ya mind, you know stabbing him."

"..."

"... a little?" "I guess I could do that."

"Villain, you are ruining our child! How could you teach them that!"

"Urgh,‌ what's with the stick up your—"

"Language."

"Language! And I mean that it's ineffective as it doesn't solve the problem. I got this bro, I'm already documenting all his actions to conclusively prove his misconduct to the government." *Teenager raises eyebrow* "... And than maybe throw him in a crowded public sqare without protection. "

"Woahahha! I didn't know you could be so cool. Also, we are absolutely not in anyway Bros. Do not call me that again. Ever."

.....

(Part 1)

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Today on enemies to lovers tropes I'd do absolutely everything for is *drumroll* compliments disguised as insults, or one of them having genuine difficulty trying to give the other a compliment, or insults but they add the compliment they want to say just at the end.

"You're always too kind, you always give too much and stick around for someone too long, it's stupid and gets you into trouble. But... But... It's also kind of impressive, how you hold onto goodness so tightly. It's really impressive or whatever. "

" Your voice is so good, haha, it's like you're a stupid singer or something haha" "... thank you I guess. You're insults are getting sub-standard you know "

aNd of course, " I... I meant that as a compliment."

When enemies have to work together to infiltrate some grand party and act like a couple to blend in. Ah, good stuff.

Dancing in order to spy on everyone and one of them keeps getting too invested on someone they're watching and end up too close to the other.

"Someone's coming! What should we do."

"Hmm, I wonder. What could two young attractive people be doing here in this dark hall."

"ahh..."

One is walking by a broom closet door and the other's hand darts out and pulls them in, putting a finger to their lips.

"You two are such a cute couple." A *wraps their hand around B's waist*

B *smiling pointedly* "Yeah we are."

If your enemies to lovers doesn't have angry I hate this this and this about them monologues that slip into ticks only someone who's been closely observing them would know spoken in heavy denial is it even enemies to lovers.

I hate their smile and their eyes and how much they say with them god dammit and that the way their little finger twitches when they're angry is stupid. It's I mean it's not good.

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I found a new trope and I'm high on it. Hear me out. Grumpy bad character gets stuck with sunshine character in his property or company or whatever. And it predictably leads to bonding moments™ like sitting huddled together and talking about random things or sunshine grabbing grumpy's hand to guide them around in the darkness, or opening up about their pasts or just playing their favourite music whatever.

But here's the kicker, after they're out and grumpy's assistant is like reporting to them like, " I'll fire them all duh, because you're big bad grumpy blah blah" and they just do this smitten little secretive smile and be like "Naw, it's fine" or alternatively they start coughing and try to be nonchalant about it like 'it's whatever, I don't mind, you can let them go'

And the assistant is like *shocked pikachu face* 😲

The hero and villain fighting and the villians keeps using more and more power pushing the hero farther and farther back as they laugh at the hero trying to fight back and taunt and tease them, the hero biting back their responses. They use a blast a bit too strong and hero is thrown from their spot, the villain laughs and then stops when the hero doesn't reply. Tentatively saying hero and holding their breath waiting for a response, the panic finally settles as it doesn't come. Rushing to the hero's side to find them seriously hurt. Hurriedly taking them to be treated and the villian being overcome with guilt because they've been so disconnected with humanity for so long that they didn't even consider the possibility of the hero being hurt. They didn't want that.

(but I do. Can I have more of that)

Peak himbo/herbo/thembo energy in the trope of "being sure your enemy has crush on when they absolutely definitely 100% don't"+ making more and more ridiculous reasons to believe they do.

Villain-: Did you see how red they were when they saw me!! They are sooo smitten.

Overworked henchmen-: could be cause they had chase you on rooftops across half the city but *shrugs*

Villain-: they literally turned the city upside down to find me! They missed me so much. Ahhh

Henchmen- I mean you were holding people hostage but what do I know.

V-: They love watching me work. They were in my lab the entire day yesterday.

H-: You literally kidnapped them but sure.

This trope is my drug.

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This dynamic has me on a chokehold and I don't want it to stop!

The villain-: *tries to bring eternal pain and suffering on the hero on a bi-weekly basis*

Someone else-: *gets a tiny scratch on hero*

Villain-: *absolutely feral* *ready to smite them* "Only I get to hurt my hero!! How dare you."

aNd, Listen to me. "When I say no one but me gets to hurt you, that includes you. Take care of yourself."

And somehow they still manage to stay oblivious to their own feelings because of dumb bitch reasons, but when the hero is seriously hurt and they feel so intensely protective and do everything to save them before finally being hit with the 'oh shit' moment (after the hero is already dead if the writer is satan's dad)

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The best kind of pairing there is knife wife and mean pretty boy (gender neutral) who gets both scared and aroused with a knife under his chin.

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Favourite doomed romance of the day is the mortal lover dies tragically and immortal waits centuries for them to be reborn (or both die and are reborn) only for them to already be enemies with solid ground for hating them before they find out it's them.

The absolute emotional destruction is unmatched.

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Can more authors balantly self insert themselves into the side characters who constantly voice their shipping feels at the most inappropriate moments that's just good stuff. Like

"I hate you!" "I hate you more!!" *appearing uncomfortably close to their faces from God knows where* "Now kiss."

Two same gender people *glaring intensely at each other* "that's gay babes"

A *compliments B* "I ship it bitches!"

Just top tier comedy. Love.

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