Ed Ednotsheeran Restriction - Blog Posts

pulling back baggy pants and seeing how small you are >>>>>>>

i love my legs.

a SINGLE crumb or two of (bland) rice cake entered my stomach because my father forced me to eat SOMETHING and now I feel like shit! Like I know it’s less then 4 calories for a crumb or two but still..

despretely in need of an almond mom, i geniunely cant do this shit alone i swear

~Tw 3d Question~

How effective is purging when you make yourself vomit? And what should I do for after care?

~Fast~

42.5 hours in and I just got sick * . * I feel a lot better now so I’m not breaking my fast quite yet, but I’m doubting I’ll complete all 93h.. I set it as that many hrs because it’s the most ideal fast I’d like to do, but I haven’t done a fast longer than 3 days in wayyy too long, and sadly I’m struggling a bit physically.. not even 48hrs in T . T but at the VERY least I’ll make it to the 48h mark, anything less is pathetic and I’ll be even more of a disappointment.(I would never talk to anyone else like that btw, only to myself lol)

~ Vent ~

Something I keep thinking about is that my childhood friend told me ~4 months ago that she couldn’t imagine me skinny after she saw how different the pantry was at my parents house. Which is valid for her life experience with me, and great motivation, but wtf…. I’m kind of scared to meet up with her again after I lose more weight. I don’t want her to say anything else about my body.. and she’s one of the luckiest people on earth because she grew up SKINNY, and literally just because of genetics. Her whole family is thin.. lucky mfs lol -but we used to hang out frequently and we’d both eat a lot growing up, and she still does. The last time I hung out with her, she got a honey bun from a convenience store after she ate a sausage the length of a paper plate, and a slice of chocolate cake like 30mins-1 hour before… It’s possible she has some mental stuff going on as well because of struggling to gain weight, but to make such a comment about another person isn’t very mindful. My brain is kind of taking it as “I can’t imagine you being a healthy weight”. - not that I wanna be lol - but sis basically said that without actually saying it.. She knows I grew up FAT AF, a damn boulder, so I’m just struggling to understand how she could say that. In most cases, a persons health is the most important thing, and what she said really makes me feels like she wants me to stay big subconsciously. But, she picked the word skinny and not healthy, so maybe I’m just thinking too much into it lol.. Either way though, it’s still motivating me to do better so ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it does make me anxious about my relationship with her; and the pantry is so different now too compared to what it was the last time she saw it. So actually, I am very scared of her coming over lol.. and I don’t like that I feel that way, I love her a lot. I’m just not as comfortable around her now :c

~Wieiad~

9•28•24

Breakfast:

2 Iron gummies - 10c

2 Zinc gummies - 20c

2 Vitamin D gummies- 15c

2 Vitamin C gummies - 20c

2 Biotin gummies - 10c

2 Omega 3 gummies - 25c

Lunch:

14g FF Fig Newton - 42c

11g Highkey mini choc chip cookies - 51c

11g Highkey double choc brownie cookies - 55c

.58 Milano raspberry&choc cookie - 38c

Dinner:

46.7g Brownie batter Protien puff bar - 163c

Snacks:

119g Cucumber with peel - 18c

49g Red grapes - 34c

Total - 502c

Water Intake - 51FLOZ

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Macros:

Carbs - 76g

Protein - 24g

Fat - 16g

Fiber - 3g

Sodium - 482mg

Calcium - 168mg

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No pictures because I was lazy today, but I ate the cucumber and grapes early in the afternoon after cleaning the dishes and kitchen, and my sweet tooth was screaming so I ate some not so great things and I’m not feeling good about it…..I could’ve had some homemade air fried chicken nuggets and gotten more protein, but I kind of stayed in my cal limit so I won’t beat myself up too much about it..The protein bar weighed more than what the nutrients label said and that’s what made it go over 500 :c I’m giving my body 2 hours to digest the food a bit then I’m going to bed 🥱

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~Wieiad~

9•26•24

Breakfast: Blueberry protein bar - 180c

Lunch: N/A

Dinner: 191g Plums - 88c

109g Kiwi with skin - 66c

140g Red Delicious apple with skin - 83c

87g Oranges - 41c

~Macros~

Carbs: 92g

Protein: 15g

Fat: 7g

Fiber: 17g

Sodium: 331mg

Calcium: 141mg

Total cals: 458

Water intake: 68 fl oz

Not too bad ig…. Just glad it’s not above 500 lol

I’ve felt my heart beat being crazy for the past few hours so I ended my fast before I really wanted to :c

Side note: These protein bars are amazing! A bit pricey and 180c… * . * -but very good! And not only did it kind of help my heart beat issue but now I’m definitely not hungry lol 10/10, do recommend✨ I have another flavor by the same brand that I’m going to try tomorrow :)

What a lovely morning

I gained 0,5 kg after restricting. I know it’s just a water weight and not actual fat but it’s so disgusting. I want to kms