NOT MY UNTIL DAWN - Blog Posts

I survived the Until dawn movie, that’s like one of the top 5 hardest things I have done in my life yet. If you liked the movie atleast a bit i suggest you scroll now because i’m about to rip this mess to pieces.

Here is a list of questions that popped into my head while torturing my eyes and soul with this monstrosity of a film, it’s gonna be a long one so grab your popcorn I guess…

Why is everyone wearing an oddly similar outfit, why are there only five of them, why is the gas station called ”Hartley’s” if it’s run by dr. Hill and not Chris, why is there only one missing sister, how is every character from the group so damn annoying and why do they hate eachother, what was that weather circle, literally what was the house supposed to be like was it just a haunted house, where is the snow and the lodge, why is the psycho bald and who was he and how did he get there, why is Peter Stormares character called dr. Hill if he’s basically a totally different character, why are the other characters hating on Abe while he is the only sane person there (telling the truth is crazy in a world full of lies) and why the hell did that one girl stab him, WHY IS THERE A WITCH, why was the tap water bad like was it poisoned and what was it poisoned with, why does this remind me more of The Quarry than Until dawn, why is the hourglass so important in this when its just a graphic choice for the cover of the game, why was Clover only posessed by the witch for one of the nights, why did it seem like gooner content or something when that asian girl exploded, why were they able to feel the ways they died only after died for the first time, why was there a sex tape in the basement like that was so unnecessary, why did they choose that lazy ass plot of having a ”psychic” character, why were the mines and sanatorium combined, were the glitching video effects supposed to like actually scary, why did the night start over at exactly those moments like when that one girl wiped the mirror and stuff, why was there a drawing of a werewolf, why did all of the jumpscares follow the exactly same series of cinematic techniques like first theres quiet then theres a bit of relief and then theres a jumpscare, why does this whole movie remind me more of Beetlejuice beetlejuice than Until dawn, why didnt Clover just open the damn bear trap cuz by the looks of it the spikes werent even that long, why wasnt the sister a full wendigo and why did she just look like a posessed doll, what was that clown doll at the witches house, why is the plot of this movie that if you mess up the first time and die you can try again by coming back to life when in the game the point is the complete opposite because like the point of the butterfly effect is that one small thing you do can cost someones life, why was complete ”wendigos die from fire and born from cannibalism” lore removed when the wendigo is the biggest reference from the original game even according to the way the movie has been marketed, were these characters written by a gen x man who was never met an actual gen z, how was there only one actually spooky jumpscare, why was there a random sunken town, what was that worm on Clovers face supposed to be, how was my pulse the highest when I realized that we were soon about to see 5 seconds of Josh, why did the movie acknowledge the lodge BUT ONLY IN THE END, why did the group go to the town where the sister disappear lastly at the end of the road trip instead of starting there, were all these outfits and accesories ordered from Shein, why did we only see a couple of the nights fully like what was the point of watching a couple of them on that guys’ phone, was the psycho like an actual creature or just a really strong guy, what happened to the other people who had come there and why did they come there in the first place, how many plot holes were actually in this and has anyone counted yet (if not my guess is 23), why are all of the characters dark haired, why don’t the characters relationships have like anything to do anything, why isn’t the music scary, why didn’t Clover just stab dr. Hill cuz that seemed easier tbh, why was the wendigo chained in that room, not that i’m complaining but was Joshes file there just as a reference or did it actually mean something, who was driving that car that almost hit the group and last but not least HOW UNTALENTED OF A DIRECTOR DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO THAT THE ONLY SCARY ELEMENT IN THIS MOVIE IS THE JUMPSCARES???

If I ever had a semi positive thought even barely related to this crapstrosity of a movie it sure is gone now, just like my hopes for an actual Until dawn movie. From now on I will deny the existence of this movie and the fact that I actually saw it. I haven’t felt this angry since accidentally missing that one werewolf while shooting in The Quarry but i’m sure as hell enraged now. God is sorry he made us.

Thank you for coming to TED talk.

elsaxx19 out.