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vent!
okay so two things here, one being that apparently on top of deporting immigrants (which is so awful) ICE is just taking random people and not returning them?? so genuinely wtf is wrong with this country, AND I never ranted abt this before but I have HORRIBLE fear of being raped, I’ve only been s’ad once and it was non consensual kissing, not as disgusting as rape but still not great, I’m convinced that’s part of the reason I have this fear and the one of the other reasons is that a few of my moms friends were drugged, raped and beaten by this one guy, their okay now but holy shit, and the fact my dad said rape isn’t as important as inflation DOESNT HELP THE MATTER, its so bad I avoid going outside and going places I’m so scared, like genuinely yall im having a panic attack no joke
can't wait 2 go over 2 my dad's and get skinny shamed <3 like yasss promote my Ed tysmmmm, father 👏 of👏 the 👏 year 👏
perfectly perfect
what i wouldn't fucking give to be punched in the face.
I think everything is just supposed to be fucking miserable all the time.
why am i even bothering with sobriety and cleanness at this point. all i wanna do is be high and forget how fucking miserable im gonna be for the rest of my life. just for a few hours. but i cAnT because tHinGs WoNt EvEr gEt BeTtEr iF yOuRe uSiNg. who the fuck cares if it gets better at this point? it obviously fucking won't. i'm trapped in this fucking disgusting body forever. the least i can do for myself is make myself happy for a little while.
it is 11:40pm. i logically know that my friends are asleep and not deliberately ignoring me. does that stop the mean angry gnome in my brain from telling me they despise my existence in their lives? absolutely not
and the worst part is that the only person i have to talk to, is said mean angry brain gnome. 🙃
because everyone else is asleep. 🙃
am letting tumblr decide, should i get high on klonopin tonight? 👀👀
chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province
weed does not fucking cut it at all anymore and im out of klonopin that means it is time to shed my skin suit and fly into the sun someone pls distract me lol
"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead
how the fuck do you make friends.
everyone else in my life gets to go hang out with their friends and go home to their partners and i hate it. i really hate to say that i hate seeing their happiness. it's not that i don't want them to b be happy and lead good lives, it's that im a fucking dumb jealous asshole.
everyone makes it seem like them and all of their friends just clicked together. there was no awkwardness at the start and everything just went so smoothly. meanwhile i can't get past the awkward small talk phase with everyone and it's completely discouraging. I dont want to end up alone. i don't wanna be forced into the shadows while i watch everyone else have a life besides me because i just flat out didn't deserve to have one.
tldr someone pls become unhealthily obsessed with me and i will offer the same in return
i think all my friends want me to kill myself lol
literally all i want is someone who's excited to talk to me im tired of desperately sexualizing myself in the hopes that that'll come i just want to be loved and wanted lol
TW: CALLOUT POST
try not to follow this user they are radqueer and a proshipper also uses "sfw dd/lb" which isnt really a thing and i find this person problematic and also is/supports transid please be aware of them @ittybittyjuggalo
Let it all out.
MY HERO ACADEMIA - Kirishima x GN!Reader
Summary: After being rescued by the heroes during the Hassakai raid, the reader still felt uneasy and felt this tight grip on them. Everyone tried helping them but it didn’t seem to work until a boy changed that.
★☽A/N: I feel like people are struggling a lot so I thought “Why not make a one shot with Kirishima for anyone who’s comfort character is him!!” So I did. Just know that you are never alone and that you should seek help, let it all out to a friend or write it all out, just know that you’re never alone, there will always be that someone! :DD
Contents: A bit of angst - Trauma - Fluff - ED (Eating Disorder) - SH (Self harm)
Disclaimer: Quirk allows the reader to enhance their abilities, like strength, speed, agility, to an unhuman extent.
★────★────★
!. You were a subject to Overhaul by the time you got your quirk (4yrs), you were experimented on and he would take your blood cells just to create a powerful drug to enhance one’s abilities, like strength, speed, and agility to an unhuman extent. But you were the one getting sacrificed and you hate it, you just want to get out of there.
!. Overhaul started to spread the drug with your blood cells around the country by the time you were 10. But a few months later, a new roommate comes, Eri.
!. You were disgusted by how Overhaul treats her, he may fancy her with toys her age would love, but it doesn’t change the fact that he used her quirk, “Rewind” to create a drug.
!. You loved the girl as a sister, she saw you as a sibling that would always help her at her time of need and of course, that’s true because you try and try to stop him from hurting her more but he would never listen! You saw Eri die over, over, and over again and he would just bring her back to life, that must’ve been traumatizing for a child.
★──★
★. There was a group of heroes planning for a rescue that's going to happen in the Hassaikai Headquarters. They have discovered that the bullet that had hit Tamaki was a quirk removing drug that they have called, "Quirk Killer bullet." With the help of Kirishima, they have managed to have the bullet that still had its contents inside, with the right people, they have discovered that it had human blood cells inside.
That made them feel disgusted.
★. Just when they thought it was just one girl.. Oh.. They were unfortunately wrong.
★. With the help of the police, they have also managed to get the enhancing drug from the thug that has attacked Kirishima. With a bunch of time spent, they have discovered that it also had human blood cells.
How sick can Overhaul be?!
★. Midoriya was more than determined to save not only the girl, but the other child as well.
★──★
★. A long time skip goes by and now you and Eri are safe.
★. Mr. Aizawa has been visiting to check on you and to ask questions about Overhaul. He was shocked that you have been there since you were four. He was glad that you knew how to use your quirk but to some extent.
★. A boy named Kirishima has been visiting every single day, always asking you how you been and always love talking about his day which was somehow nice and comforting to you.
★. Midoriya paid a little visit to you, saying that since you both were closer to age, you both could get along. You hesitated but learned to be comfortable around him as his visits turned into weeks.
★. From what Midoriya gathered, both you and Eri were unable to smile. It was as if Overhaul still had his tight and powerful grip on the both of you. He was even more determined to save the both of you again.
★──★
The boy and his classmates planned a concert and it was spectacular!! They were lights and many, many real effects that awed everyone, and Eri finally smiled!! She was freed from that grip, but not you.
It was after the concert, Eri was giddy with joy as she told all of her wonderful experiences during the concert, it brought Midoriya tears when he saw her smile.
“How about you, Y/N?” Midoriya asked the kid beside Mirio, but they didn’t answer, they just kept on their straight face with their face down. ‘He’s still not saved..’ Midoriya was sad, they were still not smiling at all. “It was.. Very colorful..” They commented in a soft, hesitant tone.
The boy was about to say something but Mineta had called out and called him lazy for just standing around. The boy apologized and excused himself and got back to doing his work along with his classmates
"C'mon! Let's leave them with their work, alright?" Mirio called out and Eri and Y/N walked with him out of the gym and back to the main building. Y/N was deep in thought as they walked through U.A. "Hey,Y/N, are you okay?" Mirio asked with a worried tone, Y/N flinched by their name getting called, "Huh? Oh.. Yeah- I– I'm fine." Y/N stuttered which made Mirio worry more.
The thing is, Y/N wasn't fine. They were inflicted by Overhaul's actions and was thinking about the horrid man everyday. It was as if they still felt attached to him because he was the closest and only thing the 14 year old had for a father, a terrible father. They felt like they had betrayed their father figure.
They don’t even have any memories of their parents, only fragments of them and they weren’t nice fragments. Their parents were always neglectful until they just abandoned the child to a cruel man, it was because of them that they had to suffer experiments over, and over, and over again.
★────────
[READER’S POV]
I hate this.. I want this to stop..
It was the same nightmare over and over again. Getting disassembled and experimented by Overhaul was too much for my brain, I just want it to stop!! It hurts so much.
I try so hard to keep it in so many times but when I’m alone, I just break out in sobs and hiccups. I don’t want anyone to worry about me, I’m just fine and I don’t need anyone to help me, I’m used to being alone with no help and this is no different.
I woke up with sweaty palms, I had trouble breathing normally so I tried my best to slow down my rapid breathing. I eventually calmed down and grabbed a drink from my minifridge and drank all of it up at once, I was still panting after that nightmare, shit.
I just stood up and sat onto my gaming chair in my dorm room and played for hours. It was 3.05 AM but who cares? I can’t go back to that horrible dream so, I may as well just play video games until I sleep in a pool of darkness. The screen shined brightly when I turned it on, I opened [GAME NAME] and started playing. By the time it was broad daylight, it was already 7AM. It was a Sunday and there was no practice and training for my quirk for me today so I just focused on the game as the time went by.
There was a lot of commotion that was heard, they were being so loud. A sudden knock was sounded on my door, I turned to look but didn;t respond. “It’s already lunch time right now, so I wanted to bring you your lunch. You like [F/F], right?” Midoriya spoked with his usual positive voice. I could tell he’s gone as the footsteps faded away. I got off my chair and slowly walked towards my door and opened it, seeing my plate of food, I just closed back my door.
I didn’t eat it, I just let it out and it became cold and disgusting. I was too used to eating from one time a day to nothing, I could easily go an entire day with no food, I would feel sick whenever I eat more than once.
★──★
By the time Deku went back to grab Y/N’s plate, it was still there and was now cold. Deku felt worried as he stared at Y/N’s door. He went down stairs to put back the plate and to put the lunch into a takeout plastic as leftovers. “Hey, Midoriya! You okay, man?” Kirishima asked as he walked up to Midoriya. “Not really, Y/N haven’t eaten anything.” Deku said, Kirishima looked at the lunch that was now cold and felt worried as well for the H/C friend. “Do you think they have an eating disorder? I only saw them eat once.. Or never even!!” Kirishima was now kinda panicking a bit for the person.
The boy started having a crush on the H/C kid since he was always visiting and hanging out with Y/N after the raid. Even if Kirishima didn’t know whether the individual even likes guys/girls, or anyone!
“I’m going to go check on him.” Kirishima said to Midoriya who nodded in response. The boy went up in the elevator and walked to Y/N’s door, he knocked. “Hey, Y/N? You haven’t eaten anything, are you alright?” Kirishima asked with his caring voice, Y/N didn’t respond, “Y/N?” He called out again but to no response. “Hey, look, if you ever need to- express your feelings, you can come to my room, alright? It’s just a floor up. I want to try to help you but if you don’t need that then it’s completely fine! I’m just offering some support.” Kirishima said before walking away. Just as he opened the elevator, a hand grabbed his arm, he turned around to see Y/N in a mess, they had a maroon colored hoodie with black shorts underneath, their hair was a complete mess and you could see their eyes were red from crying.
★──★
“So, what’s up?” Kirishima asked.
The two were in his room and on his bed. Y/N was seated at the end of it, while Kirishima was at the front. Y/N just kept quiet, worried if Kirishima wasn’t gonna take what they had to say. “Look, take your time.” Kirishima assured, which made Y/N more comfortable with the situation.
After a few minutes, they started to talk.
“I feel like throwing up every time I eat more than once or even anything. I stopped eating, I excessively worked out, I took laxatives, and I started to throw up food that I have eaten. Hell.. I even started to throw up after every meal. I stopped eating with you guys since you guys would be worried if I didn’t eat my food. I just lock myself in my room and play video games endlessly. I think the only things I consumed were water, protein shakes, and plain brewed coffee. My ribs have become more visible, I look like a skeleton. I don’t want to eat, I’m too used to never eating. I feel like I would be punished for eating, my stomach won’t agree with me and I feel like my mind has been going insane. I've been having these nightmares back when I was with Overhaul and I feel like I betrayed him, he was like– My father figure, despite his poor treatment towards me.” Y/N finished venting, it felt better after they let it out, like a small weight had been lifted from their shoulders.
Y/N felt total awkwardness when Kirishima wasn’t saying anything. Did they say too much? Just before Y/N was gonna apologize, a huge hug embraced them. Kirishima was hugging them tightly, like they were gonna vanish. “I’m so sorry that you feel like this!!” Kirishima said but Y/N didn’t hear that, they just felt the ringing in his ears.
A panic attack?
“I’m- I’m sorry but- Can you stop hugging me?” Y/N managed to stutter out, “Ah! Omg, I’m so sorry, I didn’t ask.” Kirishima apologized again before letting go, then he realized Y/N’s heavy breathing. He was gonna say something to help them but decided to take a different route. “Hey, hey, look at me, Y/N.” Kirishima said, which Y/N obliged.
“Breathe slowly, or you won't calm down” Kirishima said but Y/N was still panicking a lot. “Is it alright if I can hold your hands?” Kirishima asked softly, extending his hands out for Y/N to grab and they grabbed hard while looking at Kirishima with panicked eyes.
“Repeat after me, N/N.” Kirishima told Y/N as he demonstrated calm breathing. Breathe in, breathe out, they repeated Kirishima’s breathing until they managed to calm their breathing and no longer stressed and panicked.
“How do you feel?” Kirishima asked, trying to let go but Y/N held his hands tighter. “Be-Better.” They responded, slowly caressing Kirishima’s hands as a way to soothe themself.
The silence was actually comforting. They just sat in silence with Y/N holding Kirishima’s hands, stroking them gently which soothed them.
“Erm- I’m sorry.” Y/N’s apology stopped the silence, “Hm?” “I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you.” They apologized, “Oh! No, no, no! You shouldn’t apologize, you just needed someone to tell these things to.” He said.
Y/N choked a sob, tearing up. Y/N let go of his hands and hugged him.
“Thank you, Ejirou.”
★────★────★
Ok ive been reading abandon my eulogy and i got upset at ford
Had to take a lil mental break with double cursed
Both fics ar sooo gooood
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62793742/chapters/160765417
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62140393/chapters/158947036?view_adult=true
L'appel du Vide by unreliable_narrator_2845
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59004160/chapters/150419458
Check out this fic its soo good b be careful its GRAPHIC! Damn i was hurling reading this. Its soo good but everything is too tame for me now ://
A bit late, but whatever!!! Here's my 2024 Art Summary!! :D
Hi! Here I am again with the silly silly roach indulging in harmful behaviours lolz :3c
Tw: blood, SH, Bad coping mechanism, escapism, hallucinations, a tad bit suggestive
I really like them they work as a cashier, they have masochistic tendencies and are an asshole/jerk (thought it's mostly because of trauma and because they're trying to overcompensate for their low self steem so yeah)
(Tw for gore/self harm & suicidal ideation)
Baldur! What a silly funny guy! ^U^
God of war : ragnarök
TW: Bl00d, kn!fe, implications of d3@th and su!c!de
🥀
Inktober for yesterday; you have no idea how long it took me to do that hand 💀 also, there’s a large possibility that the image quality is gonna drop when I post this T^T
