You Asked,

i am afraid of loss

i used to think i was afraid of dying but in actuality i am afraid of death and loss. i am afraid the idea of no longer existing whether it’s me or my family, i want no one to die but we also can’t live forever, the future scares me and i have no answers but i still can’t help but dwell in it, the idea of no longer being alive… i’m scared, please help

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Andrea Gibson

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Ivy House,  Greenwich, Connecticut

photo via melissa

— Sylvia Plath, quoting an acquaintance in ‘The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath’

And if we ever meet again

I’ll know it’s meant to be

but for now let’s live in this happiness

because we both know it won’t last forever

even though we truly wish it did.

MSI

<Living in the Moment Was Always Our Thing>

please.

okay so miss you, i miss our talks and the friendship we had and it really sucks that you left and that we’re not talking anymore and i respect that a lot, i really do i understand your reason for leaving and know it wasn’t in bad terms but i wish we could talk again, every time i struggle in math i remember your attempt at explaining why you loved it and me simply not understanding the same way i explained my love for reading and you’d actually take my book suggestions regardless of the fact that you said you didn’t read or even like reading, i miss you in general and i wish that i could just mentally call you back into my life but i think y there is no higher power out there that can make that happen

To You

I don't like the way I am acting right now. I keep pushing you away, and I am sorry. I'm scared to feel the way that I do. I don't want to. I have not felt like this in some time and I don't know what it means. I am sorry I am making you feel as if your feelings dont matter. i am sorry if you think youre dumb becase youre not and i am sorry i tried to make you jealous on purpose. at the end of the day i dont know how to handle the emotion, i am childish, i thought i had matured but turns out i did not. i sit here and am slighjtly mad at myself i am sad and i dont know why, i miss you and wan to talk to you but i understand if you are done becasue all i did was push you away. all did was reject you time and time again but its becase i was scared and if you are done now its okay, you said you would tell me so please do becuase i started to care about you too late and i wish i hadnt and i think i do like you like more than i care to admit but i dont want to admit that to myself becuase that means exposing my feelings to somepne and i cant. i care about you and im sorry im pushing you away, i am sorry you are tired or feel bad, i am sorry if i did something wrong, i wish i had not. but thank you for allowing me to feel loved in ways that i have not before. even if it was for a small amount of time. thank you for allowing me to feel cared for and thanks for showing me what it is like to love with respect even if you didnt actually know me, you blindly cared for me, and i am grateful for that you showed me what it was supposed to be like and i told you time and time again you were most likely lying, thank you for the patience you showed when in was so confusing and rude. thanks and i think in another life time i could have really loved you, and i hope in one of the multiverses i got to feel what it was like to be loved by you because i just know it would have been amazing. thanks.

I look at you and I would rather look at you

than all the portraits in the world

- Having a Coke With You by Frank O’Hara