Zephram Cochrane In Metamorphosis Is A Weak Ass Bitch. If I Found Out A Telepathic Gaseus Alien Being

first time i watched tos i felt that kirk was subtly but ardently wooing spock over the course of the five year mission and that spock was gay but kinda didnt get it. but after rewatching the ‘a certain inefficiency’ scene ive decided i was wrong. kirk and spock ARE flirting reciprocally on the fucking bridge no less, and bones mccoy has suffered more than god

I think Andrew's desperation to live is a little overlooked in the fandom. It's not explicitly stated in the books, other than his SH scars, but I honestly think it is so important to understanding him and his motivations.

Did Andrew ever plan to live past graduation? Before Kevin came along and promised his life would have worth? Did he plan on disappearing when Aaron eventually walked away from him? Believing nobody would notice if he was gone?

He clung on purely for Aaron, to make sure Aaron had a bright future ahead and could go live without him. To make sure that Nicky could go back to Erik without worry.

Before Neil, Andrew didn't believe he had anything to live for. He made a very one sided deal with Kevin to find something, anything, to build his life around after graduation, believing his brother would leave him alone once again.

Because at the heart of it all, Andrew doesn't want to die. Not really.

Andrew has chronic depression and he is suicidal. He sits on the edges of roof tops to feel. He puts his life on the line again and again with little regard for his own safety. He makes promises that put him at a severe disadvantage.

His promises are what keeps him alive, what forces him to live. Dying would break his promise, and Andrew has suffered enough from broken promises.

He doesn't want to die. He wants to survive those who beat him down. He wants to move on. He wants to get better. He wants to live.

He just doesn't know how.

What made WH so scandalous at the time?

Many things!

—There were a lot of implied or outright stated “ugly realities” in the novel. Heathcliff is brought to the Earnshaw household as an “orphan” (who we can now interpret as being possibly a person of color, though I don’t know how much Emily intended that—it’s something some readers may also have interpreted from the language she used). He has no real reason to be there being Mr. Earnshaw just picking him up. Why did he pick him up? Is he a bastard? And if that’s the case, did you just read a book about two half siblings being in love?

Even if you don’t, the fact that Heathcliff and Cathy do grow up together and spend all their time together while falling in love suggests a lot of potential intimacy, which extends beyond her marriage to Linton. The book may not say that they FUCK behind Linton’s back, but Cathy and Heathcliff remain IN LOVE behind his back. Or like, basically in front of him. These types of raw emotional issues were not something people on high necessarily wanted the masses reading about.

—Both leads suck! Cathy is a selfish brat who really doesn’t care about stepping on Linton’s heart, and she really fucks with Heathcliff’s head as well. She doesn’t suddenly become a better person through marriage, and even after she has her baby, she seems kinda like a shithead as she’s dying. I love her.

Heathcliff is much worse, obviously. Beats his wife to the point that she flees his house, abuses his sons both biological and surrogate. It was pretty shocking at the time.

—Even if sex is not on the page (exactly—there are definite allusions to Isabella and Heathcliff’s sex life and Isabella being physically attracted to his wild coarseness) it’s a really carnal book. Linton is mild and relates to civilized society, something Cathy does love and knows she should love. Heathcliff relates to the nature she adores and grew up rolling around in. She can’t shake him. He’s very tangible; you get the idea that they grew up cuddled together and constantly holding hands and just being obsessed with one another. His expression of his love for her is very violent—when she dies, he smashes his head against a tree until it bleeds. These things read as very erotic, and would’ve read as more so in an era when you didn’t have sex on the page. And these are, again, two horrible people who never marry and hey! Could be brother and sister for all we know, lmao.

—Heathcliff is an orphan of the lower class who happens to be taken in by a well off family. He nonetheless raises himself to be a wealthy man, and in many ways much of his anger seems fueled by a resentment towards the upper class, in part because it took what he wanted (Cathy). He not only has a child with an upper class woman, but takes revenge by forcing another upper class woman to marry his son, claiming her father’s line. A lower class protagonist rising and essentially unleashing his wrath on the upper class was very threatening and suggests a level of sympathy with this upward mobility.

—It’s a very spooky book. Cathy’s ghost appears at Heathcliff’s window. Heathcliff digs up Cathy’s corpse… why? Uh, who knows….? Heathcliff explicitly begs Cathy to haunt him after she dies because he’d rather have her dead and with him as like, a shade, than dead and at peace. Heathcliff is often described in these demonic terms, which gives you a sense both of people being afraid of him because he is lower class and rich, and because he offers a kind of earthy carnality than doesn’t belong in their society.

Anyway, these are some of the reasons! It’s a gorgeous book, and one of my all time favorites.

I will never be over Andrew's "You are a pipe dream" because it's so beautifully tragic.

Imagine you're Andrew and one day this suspicious guy who can't hold his tongue shows up. And nothing about him makes sense, but what makes the least sense is the fact that he treats Andrew like he matters.

He treats Andrew, a guy who everyone, including his family, sees as a monster, like he isn't one. Like he deserves to be understood and taken care of.

And the fact is so unbelievable to Andrew that he could only explain it as some elaborate hallucination caused by his happy pills. Neil was just too wonderful to be real. Good things like that just don't happen to Andrew.

big fan of airing order putting these right next to each other. i think that sad little drone is in itself a tragic romance more compelling than a lot of the plots intended to be read as such in this series

Deleted my earlier post cuz upon rewatch I realized Kirk did not leave the room the second Khan called him physically and mentally inferior. Dude has thicker skin than that.

It isn’t until Khan says that “we,” will live great in this new world that Kirk understands/gets confirmation of Khan’s intentions to remove everyone who he sees as lesser/an obstacle and continue conquering and rushes out.

Kirk can live with people thinking he’s inferior.

What he can’t live with is people imposing that belief on others. The tyranny. Which is why he left and tried to lock Khan in that room.

That said the tarsus IV stuff still works to add to Khan and Kirk’s rivalry cuz you have the product of eugenics vs self made captain who was nearly murdered in a genocide for being seen as less valuable.

can Hozier release the new album plz. it would fix me

Can I also say how touching it is that Stede said he believed Ed would he happier without him, who, even in his fantasies, could only picture Ed wanting him as a picture of masculinity with a beard and no hesitation to kill. Stede still, deep down, doesn't understand why Ed would ever want him as he is.

But who did Ed see coming down to rescue him? It wasn't a manly recreation of Stede with a beard, masculine style and a killing spirit, it was a merman. Someone bright, colourful, by all accounts a rather feminine perception of Stede.

That was who rescued Ed. It wasn't who Stede thought he needed to be, it was someone soft, and bright, and graceful, and expressive. Someone feminine, someone queer.

I just think that's beautiful.

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

Spock realizing "You'd make a splendid computer, Mr. Spock" is one of the bestest things anybody told him. I'M FEELING UNWELL. JAMES T. KIRK I'M TIRED OF YOUR EQUAL PARTS FLIRTING AND TEASING. JUST TELL THE MAN YOU LOVE HIM.