When You Get Lost And You End Up In The Enemys Spawn

What the hell is going on

Of all the time periods I have played, I have never been more flabbergasted than the 2010's. It's not the most glorious experience I have had - My first invasion of France in 1870 had Ride of the Valkyries playing at the perfect moment, nothing will top that. It's also not the most miserable experience I have had - The first day of the battle of Kursk led to me not being able to sleep, and hallucinating about looping artillery loaders that didn't work. I did not enjoy the 1400's in the first place.

So what the fuck is going on man. There is not a single intuitive system in this period. And I don't even own the DLC yet. Litterally before the game starts it's confusing. Why is there a gender that is shown as being unavailable if you don't have DLC? That's a new low, even for this game. Also, from what I can tell, the other animals are just there to lead up to you playing the "human" game which doesn't have a goal. The 'goals' seems to be a tiny recommendation/quest that tells you what to do, but half the time it's almost exclusively just "survive and recreate" or based around some gimmick that the engine now supports.

I have about 192 thousand years on the game now, and I've finished 2 campaigns, one on Japan and one on South Sudan. I've also played the other, larger economies but never to completion.

So here are my questions, and though they are meant as rambling, feel free to answer them if you want to.

Why do I chronically lack homes? Wait, actually, no, its: Why do my construction companies not turn a profit even if I'm missing like 1200 homes a week? Wait, wait, I got it now, what I'm really asking is: Why the FUCK do my markets have the most chronic, incurable and penetrating case of tectumitis I have ever witnessed in my fucking life? I can build 30, 40, no 60 high density urban spaces in a fucking row, they will all be at full occupancy, I have them on the 3rd method (the one where they live with children but not extended family), and I just look at the housing deficit growing, what the fuck does it all mean!?

What the hell is an 'economic strategy', and why does the game take such fucking pride in relaying the information that the USA's attitude has changed and is now protectionary (previously aloof)? From what I can tell, this changes NOTHING about their behaviour, their liberty desire, or their worth to me, neither as a nation or as a person.

How. The hell. Did they reduce race relations to that. And get away with it. And you know what? I prefer it! I genuinely fucking do. I love the 1840's as much as they next KKK member, or whatever, but being able to just determine overall race relations in an area based on a series of numbers, rather than the horrendously complex musical culture of the last, is nice. No idea if it's a better system if you actually want to minimize the penalties of bad race relations, but a more comprehendable text nonetheless.

How the hell do I manage pollution? I make the carbon capturing places, i bankroll the fucking technologies, i ask for the fucking good news, but they aint coming, chief.

THE ETERNALLY SHRINKING MIDDLE CLASS SYSTEM IS THE BANE OF MY MISERABLE, UNWELCOME EXISTANCE. YOU FUCKERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

The government bonds system is a great way to make me take time out of managing the index funds to make more loans that i at best have a 50/50 chance of paying off without MORE loans? What was the idea behind this mechanic? That I planned out the long term national budget? That I was prepared for the annual expenses of my country?? They jump up and down like a frog on cocaine. It's just an annoyance, forces the player to waste their time constantly fucking sending them to the top of the queue, and serves zero purpose other than that.

And finally, most of all: how. the. fuck. does. the. economy. work. you know what? I dont wanna know. Dont fucking write it. the gdp, the PLC's, the tourists(when there are any), will remain a mystery and i dont ever want to lay eyes on THAT GODFORDAMMED GDP LINE EVER AGAIN.

And this was supposed to be a BUILD-UP DECADE!? What the hell happens in the next one, then?

14 Million (according to the national government of health) saved. 6 dead. I repeat. FOURTEEN MILLION PEOPLE have been estimated to have kept their lives because of the vaccine. "World renowned immunologist" Ais also a Britsh politician, who are notorious for being morally bankrupt, and he himself was part of a far-right populist party, he also opposes efforts made to oppose and slow down climate change. But here's the best part. This guy, scummy as he may be, works IN CREATING VACCINES. He helped FOUND a CANCER VACCINE institute. Anti Vaxxers are genuinely so dumb they can't even do basic research and have to do cherry picking to this degree.

He a little confused but he got the spirit

recognize THAT YOU ARE THE GOD HERE

"i know i'm god of my reality" but then you just put yourself in the waiting state when you manifest, but you be like "i dont know if i can manifest this", and then you dont want manifest already, you choose pay a coach about law of assumption because you feel you cant manifest, but then you TIRELESSLY searches for "the key of loa" posts, but then you search for validation on 3d when the 3d needs YOU FOR VALIDATION.

Put yourself in your fucking place, you are the god of your reality. This reality exists because you validate it's existence! You'll let the thing YOU created boss you around? You're the boss here, c'mon. Do you realize how bad sounds when a god says he cant do something because he think he cant? I mean...if he, a god (we're talking about you, just to make myself clear) says he cant do something...well, so he really cant. Do you realize how bad sounds for a god accept what he doesn't want? accept whatever little they give? Wake the fuck up. Everything here, EVERYTHING exist because OF YOU

Biblically accurate cat

Pictures like these keep me alive.

The thought that they are out there, waiting to be experienced.

If I'm ever asking myself "why am I alive?", I tell myself "To see places like these"

My friend, you are not the first to ask yourself this, nor will you be the last. But it's important to understand, and believe, that it is about the journey, not the destination. So is the case for a diary, a mandala, a life full of experience and memories. A diary is meant to be written first, read second. In many cases it is not meant to be read at all. There is nothing to be sad about. Your diary does not hold any value in you, nor the pen you wrote it with. The diary is, at most, an extension of yourself, one that you have not lost, can never lose; It is right there on the paper. So what you have written down is not what you are bothered by losing (or rather, the thought of losing). Perhaps it is the growth you have done as a person through the diary? Well, that growth is not lost, not to you, or the outside world. You are a different person than you were when you started that diary, and closing it for the last time will not revoke these changes. Perhaps it is what this diary means to you, specifically. What it knows that noone else does. What it personally is worth to you, something that no other book can achieve. Perhaps it holds an extremely unique and irreplacable spot in your heart. In this case, know that the diary does not speak on behalf of itself, but rather, you do. This makes no sense lol, so let me rephrase: Whatever your diary has done for you, YOU have done for you. The irreplacable part of that diary that seperates it from any other old book is ironically not actually a part of that diary, but a part of you. So look within. Look to where your attechments lie. And deattach your gratitude from your diary, and reattach it to you. Because that's all there is. Memories may fade, diaries may burn, but your growth as a human being? That stays with you, as long as you exist. With that, I hope I have given you a new perspective on things, and I wish you the very best.

Love, Anthony.

Well, I’m almost done with my current diary… my entries are usually 5-6 pages long, so with the current amount of pages left, the next entry will probably be the last.

Anybody else get super sad? I am really attached to this one, even though it’s cringe asf. And how do you get over that and start another one? Do you take a break for a bit to get acclimated with the new diary?

And, on another note, where do you store your finished ones?

In Denmark, we have a popular song which has the line "Man siger efter stormens pisken kommer solen frem, men den hjælper sjældent dem der er blevet våde", which basically means "After the storm the sun comes out, but it rarely helps those who became soaking wet".

When your life stabilises it doesn't mean you should suddenly feel alright. It means you can now BEGIN to heal and dry off.

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

Remember to smile!

You are only as happy as you think you are!

Smile often, it makes you happier.

That is all.

3 am motivation

Guys, do NOT get motivated at 3 am!!! (gone wrong)

Yeah so basically, it's a little tragic to think about. Why do we get it? I can't say I know with certainty, but it's either that we run out of distractions and our brain thinks it's finally time to be productive (which is sad in the way watching a puppy try to play with a cat that's not having it, is sad). The other reason is that our brain doesn't want to send the motivation until it feels confident enough that you won't actually do it, so it does it late at night when you want to sleep. In this case, that's just a serious lack of self-dicipline where it feels uncomfortable to do something productive due the Feeling of Resistance.

I do think it's the first one, which sadly is the less straightforward one of the two to solve. I don't know exactly how to overcome it, but I do know that I have overcome it myself, so it is possible. Make your own conclusions on this one, I'll just explain how productive work usually goes for me (when it goes right)

I get something assigned. I mentally make a note of it, when it's due, and how long it will take.

Later on, I decide when to do it. This may be immedeately after the first step but not always.

5-15 minutes before it's time to do the task, I pull it up and ready myself for it. This basically just means reading up on it, remembering what it's about, and letting my subconsious work a little.

Here's where I usually get that motivation. While I technically don't have to get started yet, I will often pick up on a good way to start, and decide to go immedeately. The entire feeling of resistance is eliminated and the work ends up not being that difficult.

When the time for the task has come, I clear my mind and start working. If I don't know how to get started (meaning that no sudden burst of flow and motivation hit me), I write something terrible until it gets me on a road of productivity, and then I fix the start later.

For the record: This does not always work. At all. Litterally today, as I was writing this, I should have been getting started on an assignment.

So yeah probably don't believe anything you hear me say, the hell do I know.

Love, as always, from Anthony

Life is not an experience void of joy, so instead of yearning for value, go do the things that give you value!