A blog for me to shitpost and expose my deepest secrets. Jason Fakename, He/Him, mid 20's
142 posts
Latest Posts by aroacekinkdiary - Page 5
No hold on I'm gonna make an extra post about this:
I wouldn't choose to be alloromantic
If I were given the choice to either remain aro or become alloro again, I would choose aromanticism.
And I think a lot of people need to hear that.
autism disphoria, where you're having such good fun at an event but when you see picture of yourself you were just :| the whole damn fucking time (as illustrated below)
life after jaiden animation comingout video
Wait, I have a feeling but lemme check something
If you want to know why people have lost faith in capitalism, this might help
IDK WHAT TO NAME HIM BUT HES A SILLY DRAGONBORN BARBARIAN FELLOW FOR AN UPCOMING DND GAME!!! 🖤🖤
why am i simping for a dragon that lives only in my head
I've spent a lot of my life depressed for reasons unrelated to my identity. Life has a unique talent for beating the unprepared harder, and while my lot was not the hardest, I was certainly ill fit to bear its weight. When I eventually dragged myself, cold and wet, from its grasp I found myself wishing to be numb again and wishing I knew what it was like to truly care about something.
In that vein, I've always had a fascination with love and romantic affection. A combination of being denied tenderness for the half of my life I could still remember and a genuine desire to study what I didn't understand left me with an insatiable desire to consume tender, romantic media.
The idea of the thing appealed to me like the willpower of a warrior training, or the righteous anger of a hero who has lost their home. Something that gave you just a taste of what they were feeling just by watching them feel it, but whose scale you probably could not emulate. Those emotions are for characters in stories, as fictional as the magics or demons they face.
Did you know that there are special nerves in your skin that are designed for social touch? They have a direct line to the serotonin response and take 3 real world seconds to get there. This is the nerve that causes/cures touch starvation, the reason why characters can feel the lips of a lovers kiss for seconds afterward as their lips tingle electrically, the reason why a character can be wrapped in a hug in shock for a few seconds before they break down crying in grief.
All of these I thought were artistic fiction. Like someone with aphantasia learning that others really do visualize things, or me realizing other people store memories in video. It also brought up a question I posed to my therapist: "why, if I've been without social contact for most of my life, am I not touch starved?'
She answered in two options:
1 - everyone is different, and some people have more or less of certain needs.
2 - how do you know you're not?
To add to this, because I realized I hadn't said It, this sort of 'non-aversion' applies to depictions of love or romance in a work. I have never, and expect I will never, develop a crush on someone beyond the (I think uniquely asexual? Lemme know.) Concept of 'friend-lust' where you end up thinking 'i like them so much platonically, if it meant getting closer, I'd do a relationship for their benefit.' (a usually wrong or unhelpful thought.)
I'm actually a sucker for vicarious romance and the more tender flavors of love in a literary work. I've never felt these things myself, but isn't it the purview of great authors to make you feel emotions you've never felt?
It's that very thing that made me genuinely unsure whether I should put Aro in my blog name, but I do believe that to be true for me right now. Maybe other Aro's experience this, but I sometimes find myself wishing I could feel it, even though I don't. I wanted to add context to this, but it's getting long and is its own post, so find that if you want.
We putting the diary in aroacekinkdiary today, gamers.
The name of this blog might be confusing to some, I realize.
For context, I am asexual and aromantic. For those that care, I'm mixed to sensuality, but platonic touch is nice.
I'm genuinely unsure why, but while the idea of having sex, watching sex, or otherwise engaging with sex personally makes me something between nauseous-due-to-anxiety and digusted, I have no such hangups about writing or art containing it. I find it to be a very interesting way for characters to express themselves conceptually, and even find a not insignificant amount of -uh- personal gratification from it. Not sure if that counts as sex repulsed, I'm no expert, but at the very least I know I have libido.
Part of this blog is me trying to figure out how that, and a few other pieces, fit into the puzzle of who I am. If you're Asexual or know a lot about it and think you have good input, I invite it.
Plus, I love this stuff a lot as an art form, and I think I'm tired of wishing I could talk about my thoughts on it. So, I'm gonna post it instead, follow for more DnD content and Art I reblog and porn game/webnovel reviews I make if you want, I guess??
Obligatory disclaimer that as always, this isn't meant as any negative judgement on people who aren't virgins, aces or not... Just wanted to be silly and joke on our own situation to start off spooky month 👻
The name of this blog might be confusing to some, I realize.
For context, I am asexual and aromantic. For those that care, I'm mixed to sensuality, but platonic touch is nice.
I'm genuinely unsure why, but while the idea of having sex, watching sex, or otherwise engaging with sex personally makes me something between nauseous-due-to-anxiety and digusted, I have no such hangups about writing or art containing it. I find it to be a very interesting way for characters to express themselves conceptually, and even find a not insignificant amount of -uh- personal gratification from it. Not sure if that counts as sex repulsed, I'm no expert, but at the very least I know I have libido.
Part of this blog is me trying to figure out how that, and a few other pieces, fit into the puzzle of who I am. If you're Asexual or know a lot about it and think you have good input, I invite it.
Plus, I love this stuff a lot as an art form, and I think I'm tired of wishing I could talk about my thoughts on it. So, I'm gonna post it instead, follow for more DnD content and Art I reblog and porn game/webnovel reviews I make if you want, I guess??
When I talk about how I don't like sex, it's so people like me can feel "more normal" and not so "broken". Not so everyone else can feel "less normal".
Can't believe we still have to say stuff like that all the time in any context of advocacy but this isn't about making things worse for you. It's about making stuff a little bit better for everyone so everyone can be seen. Not even necessarily understood. Just seen.
(PS: I don't wanna put a disclaimer on literally all of my posts to say I mean no ill to allo people. That should be implied. With that said, to all the allo people who DON'T react like that: thank you. Y'all give me hope.)
horsing around
One of the worst feelings in the world has to be the feeling like you've run out of what you love.
Like, genuinely, I think that one of the reasons I read webnovel so often is due to it's usually interminable lengths. As a genre, I'm not sure many things run much longer.
Like, don't get me wrong, I love the art form, but at a certain point all of the art that hits your sweet spot of like, 3 things you love, runs out. And then you move on to 2 things. 1 and a half. 1 thing. And you start expanding definitions but the love you had for the medium feels strained. You're not really getting what you wanted, and the new stuff isn't scratching your itches and isn't as well written.
It's depressing, and it happens anytime you find an art form. I remembered thinking 'i'll never run out of porn to my preference, it's the internet!' and that might've been true at the time, but over the years I've discovered more about myself and found interests I never knew I'd had. And I could never go back to not knowing it.
It's like eating food from a fairy court. People always talk about how it imposes a magical brand on your soul that assigns you to be owned by the court but I've never thought of it like that. I always figured it was just otherworldly cuisine, so mind-breakingly delicious that, assuming you don't fall apart right then and there, all food from the human world turns to ash in your mouth. nothing is sweet or savory or good any more, you're ruined and can never be who you were before.
So now that I've tasted the best that life has to offer, what point lies in eating another bite beyond base sustenance? A lot of the pornography and webnovel I consume nowadays feels like eating packing peanuts, lacking the punch and sweetness of earlier meals, only filling space. Novels that are just mindless fighting and static characters. Pornography that fulfills the basic requirements and nothing more. It's hard to live on knowing that the best of your hobbies is behind you.
Therein lies a crossroads many come to.
Become an artist and be the change you want to see in the world for people with your interests,
Or find something else to do while you wait for someone else to pick up that mantle.
and as someone without writing or illustrating skill or desire, that's a nauseating choice. You'll never be able to write a story you can read for the first time, and I think that's heartbreaking.
...
...Or I guess commission someone to make it but do I look like a STEM furry? ...don't answer that.
Asking for some proof of competency is honestly an entirely reasonable thing to do before hiring someone, and significantly less antisocial than demanding a $20k piece of paper.
But goddamn do I resent having homework for a place that probably won't even hire me afterwards.
Game Review 1: Tales of Androgyny.
Note, this is a personal review, I'm not a games journalist or anything.
3.5/5 - C
ToA is a game with 3 segments and approximately 1 theme. It's a text-based adventure game, it's a shockingly complicated combat system, and a gallery where you get to view the game's one and only theme: watching an effeminate man be structurally redesigned by penises, sometimes male, mostly otherwise.
First, the adventure game.
The adventure and role play mechanics are surprisingly weak, but are made up for in the skill check system and descriptions. The game has very vivid and imaginative descriptions, which, when coupled with the visuals, are highly effective. The mechanics are a lot weak, but what I find more interesting than the skills you get from levelling up are the skills for failure. When you fail enough in combat, get your organs rearranged enough, or even choose to seek out noncombat deviancy you obtain as red skill associated with that depravity. I love the idea of developing skills without a clunky menu, where your actions just make you more effective at those actions, but it's used almost always as a debuff in this. Ironically, though, the complexity of skills and difficulty of the game seems to ask you to play longer for content that repeats itself and grows stale quickly, especially considering it's penchant for bad ends that just make you reload.
Second, the gallery
The art of this game is extremely hit or extremely miss, depending on your tastes. It seems to be designed to appeal to hentai addicts that looked a little beyond their comfort zone. For me it sits firmly in the space of 'i'll find this art disgusting the moment I'm done' but, to be honest, due to the game's very high raunch factor, it kind of works to the benefit of the game's theming. It feels like something you're not supposed to enjoy, so if you can get into the headspace of a first-time kink discoverer, it's really very fun. I'm not sure how much of that is intentional or incidental, but y'know, death of the author and all that. Overall, the large spash-screen pictures are good, and the little zoom-in you get in combat or text are very fun and usually are distinct based on what enemy you're fighting. The morph-image animation ends up being fairly smooth and doesn't take you out of the action. Plus, I'll admit, watching my character get assembled like Ikea furniture by absurd phalli is always a blast.
Third, but not last, is combat.
The combat system of ToA is big. Like, really big. It consists of a flirtation system, attack, defense, dodge, mid-combat intercourse, and the most stressful of all stances. Most of these are exactly what you expect. Turn based, increase enemy flirt meter, try not to die or get seduced yourself. Classic. But stances are the bread and butter of this system. Basically, each stance you get into has a number of associated actions, some of which are attacks, flirts, sex, the usual, and some that change your stance through doing them. Some are straightforward, you can't swing a sword while prone, so you spend a turn getting up into a crouch. But some are closer to 'i'm in a guard, I'll make a shield bash which will set my opponent into the off balance stance and me into the reckless attack stance, I can chain that into hammer down which lets me put an off balance opponent prone, and puts me off balance, I'll ignore off balance by laying atop the enemy once they're prone and now I can proceed to ride them cowgirl, the one sex stance I put all my points into-' -gasp ok you get the point. It's complicated. Most of that wasn't even far from the truth. It's, to a beginner or consumer without much time to invest, completely esoteric and nigh impenetrable, but I don't dislike it at all. A lot of games of this ilk are just too complicated for anyone's good, and this seems like it really rides the line. It's got an interface that tries to explain what each thing does, specialized icons, and like, at least it isn't maneuvering a hex map. The UX does a lot to mitigate how confusing it all is, and early fights need little strategy so you end up picking it up as you go. To be fair, it's genuinely trying something different and makes sure not to just yoink what already works, and that counts for a lot in my books.
Lastly: pornographic content
Part of the reason why I first chose this to be my initial review is because I find this game to rank firmly in the middle in terms of depravity. If you think it's too depraved for that, you may find my blog a tad distressing. If you think it's not depraved enough for that, you're probably right, but the ugly bastard style of art makes me read it as a little deeper than it is. I will likely talk about games that are more vanilla in their themes, but that I play because they are exceptional in other ways. The specific content of the game in question is almost entirely watching a twink get Yoda death noise'd by every cylindrical piece of salami in a 3-mile radius, a grand majority of which, although changeable by a setting, is (by default) held by a number of amazons and monster girls, with notable exceptions I'll leave out here. Its content, while vanilla, is largely up my alley, and I find it misses a lot of opportunities to spice things up. I'd say if you are a recovering hentai addict, trying to see the best that the world of the internet has to offer, it's a great place to start but I wouldn't end here by any means. It's in this part of the review that you will notice that I've gotten to a point in my life in which I have forgotten that the ordinary amount of depravity is zero out of 100. I don't mean kinkiness, I do genuinely mean depravity in the sense of being devoid of value. This is a game for people who are sitting at 10 maybe 15 on that scale, and I think I'm just at a point in my life where I don't find that particularly engaging without anything else to prop it up. The game has little to no story, the writing is largely insulated to specific scenes, and the major villains don't seem to be all that important other than being very difficult to fight. So if you're still using the word 'Futanari' to describe what you're into, this is probably a decent first step into being a person of real culture. Maybe when the orcs and elves are not so novel, you'll be ready to move on to something a little more advanced, like that werewolf from early on in the game.
Overall:
It's certainly a high-effort, high-polish game, but misses out on a whole world of Anthro, Beast, Monster, and other more exotic kinks, and lacks a great deal of depth when compared to text-based games of a similar style. If you really want to fall in love with your characters, experience some transformation, or get down and dirty with less vanilla partners or more interesting activities, you're better off looking elsewhere.
3.5/5 - great for beginners.
Not exactly the best at using this site, but hey, here's a small introduction, which'll be a decent start to the portion of this blog which is just a diary.
I'm going by Jason on this blog, this name, like most info I'll share, is edited to protect my anonymity. As long as it isn't my identity, I'll try to keep as honest and consistent as possible, so please let me know if I contradict myself.
I'm, as far as I've been able to determine, Ace/Aro, I work in a dead end Corpo job, I read webnovels and play pornographic games, and tend to heavily prefer content focused around people with Phalluses or who are left ambiguous enough that I may imagine they do.
Due to the nature of my interests, I find myself having to tactfully ignore the, at times, tasteless terminology used by the game's creators and user base. As you may imagine, not all pornographers are terribly respectful of their target demo. I'll say here, once and only once, that I do not bide by the schools of thought of such individuals.
So yeah, that's the intro post. There will be more of these, I'm sure. And to the three people I had to follow for tumblr to let me customize my blog, sorry for looking like a bot, lol.