Always Keep Sucking Down Would Be GMed By Wennan Wee Wulligan

I unfortunately wasn’t able to go to Bigger with Izzy and Brennan. But, luckily, my girlfriend did attend and gave me the most incomprehensible play by play of everything that happened. So like basically I saw it

Imagining trying to explain to my 12-year-old self that John Green is your favorite non-fiction author and Hank Green is your favorite fiction author

Why is the adult in the room a fucking cat?

Psychological warfare on Brennan being enacted not by Sam Reich, but by his fellow players. It’s just so special to me

Every episode I think “surely, things will get better. Surely, they—at the very least—cannot get worse.” Every episode I am somehow proven incorrect

help. I fall for every attractive gay woman that gives me attention

i'm going to listen to the album of the artist you like even though he's not really my vibe. i'm going to read the book you suggested even though it's not a genre i usually enjoy. i'll watch the show. i will try the recipe. i will play the video game, or at least watch a deep-dive youtube explaining the really-long lore so i have some idea of what's happening. the movie you suggested is too scary for me, but - i mean, the wikipedia page is kind of interesting - look at the length of the section Controversy.

this is not a burden. i think maybe "burden" and "love" might be oppositional, the way sometimes "love" and "hate" are not opposites. a burden is a dragging. i love you because you brought me to the water, and it is the horizon of your heart. i love you because of your nervous pacing around the edges of the rabbit hole.

often you are right. some songs on that album remind me of the spark in your eyes. the book was really thought-provoking.

more i just want to understand enough that you can talk to me. that you can explain, in depth, why it matters that wheat has shallow roots. i love you, even platonically - your love of this thing leaks into me. i watch you, cautious and dancing, the shy desire for you to smear the colors of this thing into my life, too.

they are your colors, though. of course i want them here, in the marginalia of my life. you matter to me. i want them to crowd the little moments of my day. i want your fingerprints scattered throughout the rooms of my heart.

one time i spent about six months reading and researching a particular author, just so i could talk to one of my friends about him. i never got the chance. she betrayed me, broke my trust, and sided with her abusive ex-boyfriend. standing in the sodden floodplain of what she left over, some bitter part of me asked - isn't that tragic? you have all this knowledge and nothing to do with it.

but i did have all that knowledge, though. when i reach for it, i still feel it glow.

I'm not a socially awkward introvert. I'm a socially awkward extrovert. I am perfectly capable of carrying a conversation, but I'll carry it like a seagull carries a french fry. Snatching it from your fingers and flying off faster than you can process, and then taking it somewhere weird.

I started crying about here and then continued for the rest of the movie

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You’re so beautiful and so smart. And it kills me you don’t think you’re good enough. Like we have to always be extraordinary. But somehow we’re always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin! You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money, because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about you kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior which is insane but if you point that out you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood but always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged so find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old. Never be rude. And never show off. Never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory! And nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong but also everything is your fault! I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie ourselves into knots so that people will like us.” -Gloria (America Ferrera, BARBIE)