Automatichuman - Rocks And Pretty Things

Explore the national parks of colorado

We need to stop acting like “romantic attraction” and “sexual attraction” actually exist. I know they’re really popular fanfic tropes, and can even be good when well written, but this has gotten out of hand. Some people think it’s real. Didn’t we learn anything from Goncharov? Please start tagging your posts with unreality.

What is something to look for in 2024?

Things to look forward to next year (or if reblogging in 2025, tag yourself with which one was your favorite):

Vladimir Putin admits he is not from St. Petersburg Russia, but St. Petersburg Florida.

Hollow Knight: Silksong is cancelled after Epic Games demands 150% of its profits.

Donald Trump's anus prolapses during a debate. He lies and says it didn't, and keeps debating until he passes out.

Joe Biden resigns so that Kamala Harris can prove her worth as the new president.

Kamala Harris names Tom Hanks as her VP.

Kamala Harris resigns so that Tom Hanks can prove his worth as the new president.

Dune Part 2 is cancelled by Warner Bros for a tax deduction. Timothée Chalamet rallies the extras to attack Warner Bros HQ, David Zaslav is eaten by a sandworm during the fight.

The Summer Olympics are canceled due to Covid. Not the disease, but athlete Covid Johnson Jr, who should've known not to light the torch that way in public.

The European Union breaks up due to a fight that began on stage at the Eurovision Song Contest over a performance of Sweden's controversial ballad, "Hej Estland, du luktar som Lutefisk."

Apple Vision Pro bombs due to its price, which is several times the gross national product of Canada, per unit.

Canada is annexed by Denmark when it tries to buy an Apple Vision Pro.

Tom Hanks is elected president of the United States of America.

Tom Hanks foots the bill for a release of Hollow Knight: Silksong on Steam and Nintendo Switch, becoming the most popular president in history.

The character of "Mickey Mouse" Enters the public domain.

Disney violently overthrows popular president Tom Hanks, starting the Second American Civil War and retaining the rights to Mickey Mouse.

The Second American Civil War is cancelled by Disney for a tax deduction.

Jessica Biel announces her marriage to Justin Timberlake will become polyandrous with the inclusion of Lance Bass and one Backstreet Boy to be named later.

by gatitodelsol

Human: Deal.

Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…

Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.

Human: So, when do we start?

Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?

Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Fey: Yes? And you agreed?

Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Fey:

Fey, blushing: Ah.

i’m reading a very manly 1950s account of a hunt for el dorado but i’m thirty pages in and the narrator has already described his traveling companion as “handsome” 4 times, “extremely handsome” twice, “exceedingly handsome” once, his voice as “quietly husky” and “a husky whisper,” his fingers as long and deft, his body as “tall and cat-like,” and his eyes as some variation of ice-blue at least three times.

just men being dudes. dudes being pals. it’s great. this is great.

the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post

Vasiliy Khudyakov (b. 1983)

baby it’s cold outside

Warnings for implied ptsd, referenced cannibalism, the associated issues of symbiosis and possession and bad brains.

Eddie can’t get warm. 

Anne asked, after, in the hospital, if it was quieter in his head now without Venom. 

“My head’s always been loud,” he’d rasped, “He was just louder than everything else.” 

She’d looked at him with that assessing lawyer’s gaze she got sometimes and said, very carefully, “It’s ok to miss him, you know.” 

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I often study at the public library and it's horrifying how many people I see typing with 2 fingers. People my own age. People younger than me. Older people. So many who never learned 10-finger typing

So anyways