In Myyyy Life...

I’m cookin up a mclennon/mcharrison rivalry fic rn (im sorry ringo)

Happy McLennon Monday!!!

Here's my first McLennon fic in 13 years. Wowie.

It begins in Paris 1961 on their last night in the city and progresses from there. For now, I'm planning just to focus on their early years, but perhaps in the future I will write more into the early and late Beatle-eras. Also, please read the tags!!! This is an NSFW fic.

Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!!

cutest mclennon tiktok ever

Paul's body language listening to Beautiful Boy and what I think is Paul's greatest tragedy

I had to capture Paul's body language while listening to Beautiful Boy as one of his choices on Desert Island Discs in 1982. He says the song is 'very moving' for him—you can listen to the whole thing here and watch the actual video captured in these gifs here.

Desert Island Discs is a radio programme, so I wonder if Paul wasn’t expecting cameras, or perhaps he knew there would be one but wasn’t prepared for his own emotional response once the song started playing. His body language is incredibly poignant to watch, and while I'm no expert, this feels like the rawest I've ever seen him captured on film, even more so than the most difficult parts of Get Back/Let It Be.

It starts when the songs starts playing: his eyes are everywhere, and he puffs his cheeks and bites his lips. He clearly knows the lyrics, you can tell througout this video that he does, but he keeps himself from singing along out loud.

Then, when John sings, “And your daddy’s here,” he puffs his cheeks again and fully turns his back to the camera to collect himself, flicking his hair, and starts rocking back and forth.

His eye are EVERYWHERE at that point, with some more hair flicks. Also, you can't hear in the gif, but there's a second or two of him tapping along with his hands on a table or his thighs, perhaps in discomfort or a nervious tick, and then he stops.

And just when you think he’s composed himself, he turns his back to the camera again and stays like that for a good while. To clarify, the show’s host is sitting right next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder and elbow-to-elbow on Paul’s right, but Paul is clearly avoiding eye contact and communication altogether.

This continues for several more seconds until John sings, “It’s getting better and better.” That's a hint to Paul's own line from Sgt. Pepper, I think we can all agree to that. Then, the camera operator—perhaps taking pity or simply doing their job well—pans the camera and focuses on something even more telling; after tapping along and swiveling, he's now hugging himself.

And that's when the camera cuts, thankfully. I can imagine this is exactly how he must have spent hours in the early eighties, listening to Double Fantasy and the Real Love/Free as a Bird/Now and Then demos and taking it all in.

And herein lies what I think is Paul's greatest tragedy: if, as he's claimed for decades, they were never knowingly or consciously romantically or physically involved while John was alive, I wonder if the understanding of what they actually had crept up on him after John's death, especially in moments like these. It could be argued that it's reflected in songs and lyrics throughout his solo career—a progression of moments, memories, and conversations, all deciphered and processed in a new light.

How heartbreaking.

The real tragedy isn’t that John and Paul didn’t fuck. John and Paul were each other’s security blanket soulmates for 11 years and a sexual relationship wouldn’t have saved them or solved any underlying problems they had individually. They were naughty trauma-bonded emotionally stunted immature brilliant horny little lost boys who didn’t know how to take off the animal suits and grow up without growing apart.

I think it’s *because* John took action and ripped away Paul’s security blanket after India that Paul (after acting out + a horrible nervous breakdown) was finally able to embrace adulthood at age 26, commit to Linda, and became emotionally *ready* to let John go as his security blanket. He still wanted John in the healthy adult way—as best friend and creative partner—but John said “No, I want a divorce instead.” He took their lucky break and broke it in two. Now what can be done for him? Paul emerged from his chrysalis in 1970 after months away from John to spread his wings (lol) and wished for John to get there as well.

John never got to that point because Yoko never helped him evolve, she just enabled John to remain the traumatized little boy needing her as his security blanket instead. She didn’t care about John and Paul’s friendship at all. I think John’s hurt goes far beyond Paul not having sex with him—John was SO resentful that Paul grew up and didn’t “need” him anymore, he was stuck in his ideal of Paul as his security blanket and that’s why John could NEVER let Paul go in his mind or his heart. In 1980 I think he was finally starting to realize the healthy adulthood Paul had wanted for him for the last decade and was just about to embark on his ADULT life when a crazy bastard took it all away.

The last few minutes of Get Back are arguably the peak of documentary filmmaking in general

featuring: *goodnight paul, say goodnight john, goodnight paul, goodnight* *neeoeooow* *unintelligible fake german stuff* *Eins, Zwei, Viertel nach Drei* *I suddenly discovered I was halfway out of tune, but I continued playing because I'm no goon* *pling* *get off yer bum" *I lost a bass note somewhere* *ow* *Are we supposed to giggle in the solo?* *yeah* *okay*

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65376643/chapters/168230455

Here it is!!! The first chapter of my mclennon versus mcharrison rivalry fic. Once again I'm sorry Ringo for making you straight in this fic you deserve so much love lol