Bobby: I’ve Done A Lot Of Dumb Stuff.

hold on I need to test this

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot" in their ask box

AU, where Jason returns to Gotham, but in between of his evil mastermind plans and managing the criminal empire, he starts working in this anonymous psychological hotline services.

And gets a call from Bruce-fucking-Wayne.

Well. It is not like Bruce announces that he is Bruce Wayne — it is anonymous, after all — but Jason knows his father's voice, alright?

'I don't need a physiological help,' his father tells him the minute he picks up the phone.

Jason... Snorts.

'Of course,' he nods, making his voice nicer. 'How can I help you?'

Bruce pauses, his breath hitching for a second; almost as if he recognized Jason's voice.

'My... my son thinks I need it, but I am fine,' Bruce insists. 'Still... I want to, well, fulfil a promise I gave... for once.'

Jason rolls his eyes, a familiar irritation flaring up in green flames before his eyes. He wonders who is this lucky son that gets to have such a diligent, responsible father - Dickhead? Tim? Damian?

'I see,' he breathes out, trying to follow a protocol of the calls. 'I am sure he will appreciate your loyalty. Will you tell him about it?'

'If he appears,' something screeches in the background, and if Jason closes his eyes, he can easily imagine Bruce leaning back on the armchair, in the Batcave. 'I... He only ever appears in my dreams, my boy.'

Jason freezes.

'Excuse me?'

'I... He is dead, my son.'

Had someone else died? Jason frowns, reaching for his phone, typing anxiously Nightwing and Robin in the search bar, trying to see if there is something serious happened; because he can't be talking about the second Robin, can he-

'I am sorry,' he blurts out, eyes drifting back to notes on the table, with some common phrases that can be used in this situation. 'I... Do you want to talk about, sir?'

Bruce is silent for a while. Jason thinks he is about to drop the call, but then, he sighs heavily on the line:

'His name was Jason. And he was the brightest boy.'

Jason mutes the microphone. He thinks he is going to vomit.

The Rat.

guys.

this is a post about a rat. now lets see how big we can get it before ratdetector13 finds it. share it with as many people as you can but not them, and don't add any rat tags.

NEVER!!!!

THIS IS INCREDIBLE IM GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY

urinetown beach day headcanons!

"but that was 2 days ago"

SHSHSHZHSHSHZSHZHSHHS

SHUSH

okay so i think the concept of the beach in urinetown is really interesting because there's a drought.

but the beach would still like...have to be a thing because oceans dont just dry up

so i think it would be really interesting to observe the change in who attends the beach. because you'd need a car to get there- accessible beaches are probably much further away than normal

the beach becomes an elitist thing. only rich people go to the beach. it's a luxury

so when cladwell is like, "hey, i'm going to the beach", hope is like "say more right now."

she refuses to go unless bobby can go with her, "it's my road or the high road daddy"

which then leads to mrs. pennywise getting in on the beach trip, which then leads to the poor tagging along

lockstock sees this and goes "poor people going to the beach? it has to be a coup. i'm going to follow behind them to make sure nothing bad happens."

cut to barrel squeezed into the passenger seat already in his beach clothes and a flamingo pool floaty around his waist

little sally somehow ends up in the backseat and no one notices she's there until she wakes up from her nap halfway there and almost jumpscares lockstock to driving off the road.

and that's how caldwell b. cladwell ends up taking an entire gang of strange, ragamuffin-like bumbling idiots to the beach with him (and his entourage ofc ofc, i just KNOW ms. millenium serves cunt at the beach)

mr. mcqueen is afraid of the water, and the sand, and anything beachy, he hates it. he does paperwork at the beach, and then starts crying when sand gets on it

bobby makes sure hope reapplies her sunscreen like the world will end if she doesn't

meanwhile, he forgets his own and burns like a fucking piece of dry grass

they're not there for twenty minutes and the poor have already buried tiny tom up to his neck in the sand

little sally scares them all by floating in the water and pretending she's dead multiple times

barrel looks like he's ready to go swimming for the entire day, but then a single piece of algae touches his foot within the first hour and he immediately taps out

lockstock's like "ooo i'm gonna do my cop job at the beach, i'm gonna guard the rich people" and then immediately conks out on a towel

fipp is surprisingly good at skipping rocks

hope brought all the snacks, and she shares, serves, and slays.

hot blades "i know how to swim (and then almost drowns)" harry

little sally builds a really good sandcastle and then barrel kicks it and she throws sand in his eyes

the poor bury lockstock in sand while he's sleeping like they did with tiny tom

hot blades "you mean there's been water this whole time!? (tries to drink it and throws up because he didn't know it was salty)" harry

little becky spends a lot of time looking for sea shells because she think they'll make nice room decor for when her baby arrives

cladwell reads his book the entire time and pretends his day isn't being ruined by the chaos of what he tried so hard to forget about

bobby strong thinks that he's going to be eaten by a shark and it takes him an hour to coax him into the water

the only swimming concept that poor man can grasp is a pitiful doggy paddle

everyone is fast asleep on the drive home and it's the most peaceful quiet thing you could possibly imagine.

WARNING!!!!

People, please be careful. There are also people tracking children and people and putting bids on them based on their profile pictures on whatsapp, tracking and kidnapping them. Especially young children, so please be cautious, especially parents who have their children as their profile pictures.

Please pass this on to everyone so that they are aware of the danger. I don’t how it is all around the world but I know it can’t just be here so please please spread the word. Thank you.

Yeah I’ll incorporate this into my belief system

dick grayson started saying shit like "teamwork makes the dream work!" and "hydrate before you die-drate!" specifically to annoy his new baby brother on patrol after jason showed up but it became so second nature that he started doing it with the league and the titans and now it's hhis brand whether he likes it or not

bruce has no sympathy. this is karma for the batmobile.

musicals that contain rebellion against oppressive authorities are becoming more relevant day by day

Preach!

guys.

this is a post about a rat. now lets see how big we can get it before ratdetector13 finds it. share it with as many people as you can but not them, and don't add any rat tags.

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god