Erm What The Sigma

I'm fucjing losing it over this user bored dash james what have you done to me

Tiny yap moment: Instead of calling my yap statement the Tragedy!AU I’m just going to refer to Hans and Aldo’s silly shit as the Cabin Fever!AU because that’s lowkey sillier/more accurate to what I’m getting at (I will be erasing history to reflect the change)

Got too silly and happy National Apple Strudel Day

Hello Welcome to my Freaky Ted Talk

This is my silly AU idea for ppl interested ❄️⛄️

(My inspiration for some of this was the lovely AU created by tumblr user cigarette-room, I love the operation-paperclip mission concept sm.)

(And before starting, half of this was also created through discussions with my IRL friend, so I credit them anonymously)

- The concept is this: Four years after the events of Inglourious Basterds, Raine and Landa work together for a series of CIA missions in 1948 = hunting for soviet spies and nazi stragglers. So, one big mission (and the main setting) includes this = being stationed in a cabin in a Finnish forest, far far away from any form of familiarity whatsoever. Aldo thrives in the woods. Hans doesn’t. The biggest mental train wreck of 1948 ensues.

- Now, this whole thing takes place in the time span of six months, from nature vibe summer to freezing-as-fuck winter, and it’s kind of like if The Shining hosted two sickos beating/fucking the fuck out of each other.

- Aldo Raine’s threats to sanity are Landa’s manipulation tactics, his own cocaine-addled psyche, alcoholism, and his own past (ooh spooky). Landa’s threats to sanity is losing power, probably some weird pervitin addiction, and Aldo motherfuckin’ Raine.

- Basically the silly thing is putting a sociopathic narcissist and a hillbilly enforcing sadist together and watch them explode in a cabin in bumfuck nowhere Finland. There is no happy ending. One of them gets murdered by the other. The end.

[EDIT]

- As a result, I like referring to this as the Cabin Fever!AU so a lot of shit related to this self-indulgent silliness is dubbed under that

- I can go on about this for hours at a time but that’s the end of my yap thank you for listening 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅

- Pinterest board + Spotify playlist will be linked in next post

You know who you are 🙂

post movie shenanigans

Also, Tarantino confirmed Aldo becomes a movie star like Audie Murphy after the war, and that Hans solves a bunch of murders and becomes an amateur detective on Nantucket haha. I headcanon Aldo as Hans’ handler after as well

🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸 PEAK 1944 AMERICAN‼️⁉️

guy who's been chewed out before

Hey y’all I have a funny AU idea silly thing for Hans and Aldo post-IB (would anybody be interested in hearing me yap about it) (I have Pinterest boards to entice you) (and a Spotify playlist) (it’s been like months and I feel like I’m not properly using this app 💀)

𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪

tom cardy song save me