You Just Made It Sound Like That I Guess 😭

rawr, x3, pounces on you, yeah yeah that’s all well and good but where’s the passion? where’s the artistry? what aspect holds a mirror up to the audience and makes them confront their own biases and the blood on their own hands? I once killed a man in Reno just to get in the headspace to write my hit outlaw country-western song “I Killed a Man in Reno” but I’m past that phase. Now I hope to enter the hot space of 21st Century pre-apocalyptic furry-core laconicism. What does “rawr” mean? What does it mean to ME? This is my nirvana, this is my hero’s journey, this is my arc of the convenient. How are we supposed to perceive the voice of reason when my inner-dialogue kicked the bucket long before I got around to it? I killed a man in Reno.

Why wouldn’t you want to be a girl still? If you were able to pass. Do you regret changing that at all?

Honestly I’m such a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s like half of me wants to be a guy 100% of the time and half of me wants to be a girl 100% of the time and I’m fighting with myself over it. The guy half is definitely winning. I probably look more like a guy at this point considering my short hair and all.

please someone come in my dms are scrub any hint of femininity out of my head!!!

I need to be brainwashed out of touch with my feminine side, just completely erased and out of touch with anything remotely feminine

I'M NOT A GIRL AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO SAY THAT!!!

chat am i a boy?

When you honestly can’t tell what’s kink thoughts/beliefs and what’s your real thoughts/beliefs anymore…guess it means the brainwashing/conditioning is working? 😅 still don’t know if that’s good or bad…

13, 15, 17?

I’ll do the two less interesting ones first.

13 was something like “at what size can you not fit into panties” and idk I don’t think it has anything to do with my genitals, just the width of my hips. I can always just tuck.

17 was something like “what was the last girl you rated out of 10” uhhh i did that in literally my last reblog.

15 is the interesting one: How did girls in my school perceive me? Basically eccentric, autistic, sexually ambiguous theater kid. I wasn’t actually in theater anymore by the time I got to high school because I did pre-recorded productions so I guess technically i was a film kid? But same vibes. I’m autistic but like the type of autistic where I’m not just sociable but like, i dunno, people are kind of drawn to me. I’m good at working a crowd and networking and all that stuff but also I was seen as kind of weird because I was probably a little *too* charismatic sometimes. Also I had pretty bad mental health issues and everyone knew that so I think if anything a lot of people just felt sorry for me. I did have a girlfriend late in high school. I broke up with her because I figured I was asexual. Chat do you think I’m asexual? Oh also as I have mentioned before I was kind of like, half out of the closet that I was trans and that I’m intersex. I was pretty androgynous and towards the start of high school I was pretty openly a girl and had long hair and stuff but I think a lot of people still thought I was a boy, then roughly age 15-19 I tried way too hard to be male and it probably didn’t work. My voice has never been unambiguously male, and I don’t sound like a guy at all nowadays, but idk how people saw it back then. Probably a lot of people assumed i was gay. I wasn’t. Or at least not mlm, maybe I’m technically a lesbian.

Honestly tempted to shave and put on a pretty outfit and lots of makeup so I can jack off to myself in the mirror

Let’s play a little game. If I can’t go the whole day without cumming I’ll cut every goal in my detrans notes game in half. (This is almost impossible)

Honestly I’m finding that I’m afraid to go out in public looking like a guy. It’s intimidating. What if someone recognizes me? I need some encouragement.