On The Struggles Of Being A System...

On the struggles of being a system...

I saw a post which talked about how seeing other systems be happy and stuff felt like a mockery to them, or saying that being a system isn't inherently a bad thing is a mockery. I have some particular feelings about this. I don't like it.

Having a disorder is debilitating, there's a lot of struggle. Some days it's easier and I enjoy talking with my alters and sharing experiences with other systems, other times the repressed emotions and urges suddenly coming to attack me... Not remembering why things feel so wrong or some days I feel more me than before, or don't even feel like the concept of me is real.

Yet, it's not something I hate. Even if i were a singlet, I think I'd still struggle one way or another, it's inevitable in this world we live in. Not being a system wouldn't automatically fix all my problems. I think I'd have different problems that are just as much of a hassle as being a system.

Sure, it would be nice to not struggle with the trauma that caused this. It would be nice to simply not have wounds that are festering but are hidden, and you aren't ready to fix them.

But others enjoying the other stuff that came with the trauma being a mockery? Making the most of what they have, being a mockery? You're simply projecting your insecurities onto those who seem to be in a "better state" than you. It is not a bad thing for people to happy despite it all. They are not mocking you or anyone for that matter.

Or even someone experiencing something you have but without the struggles that come along with it... It isn't a mockery. I'd like to say it demonstrates that it isn't inherently suffering.

Please don't say that the joy of others are mockeries of your pain. I think it hurts everyone, including you.