Im So So So So So So So So So So So So So Sorry

i will bear their cross and die

you knkw your mental health is bad when you gotta pull out the bird app

negative affirmations

I can be worse

I still have time to fuck things up

I can kms any time I want

nothing matters anyways :)

i hate that i cant fucking enjoy anything because its either im worried its NOT something i actually like and that i basically copied it% mimiced someone else or that its too generalized of a thing to like or i dont do it good enough so i should shoot muself or overd0se right now because im bad at it

heres an example

i like music. i like vocaloid alot and kikuos music

problem. i cant tell if its me that i like anymore or i copied it cuz half of my fucking interests and personality or all of it is fake. secondly its too genetalizrf and everyone i know likes it meaning im normal and not good enough and should kill myself now. thirdly i literally dont know the lyrics are meaning therefore im a faker and should kll myself now.

bleh im a horrible person

hypersexual culture is getting so frustrated with your usual smut/porn/kinks not getting you off anymore so you have to keep finding more and more intense shit until suddenly you're jacking off to things you're actually repulsed by and feeling Doubly filthy and horrible afterwards

me too anon me too

I have a distinct memory of laying in my bed as a kid and wishing with all my heart that I would get hurt. That I would get into a bad car crash or I'd disappear. So my parents would cry and realize they didn't cherish me enough.

I find it sad that younger me thought she had to get hurt to feel loved.

did anyone else want to be hurt as a kid???

like grievously injured so that ppl would care for you and think about you and wonder if ur doing okay