GHOST WHO runs his calloused fingers through the fabrics of the clothes you folded for him: now gingerly placed in his duffle bag for another month of service. Neat and compact just the way he liked it.
GHOST WHO has to push the delectable taste of your cooking another plate away as his taste buds prepare for stale food kept in plastic bags, despite the ache festering in his stomach.
GHOST WHO always drops you off to work the day or two before he leaves: admiring the radiance of your face amongst street lights and the upward curve of your smile like the delicate bend of a crescent moon. He'll squeeze your hand before you slip through his fingers, not before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, not before the wind whirls and spins; taking him away.
GHOST WHOSE tongue festers bitterness because he knows you're assistant and students will smile and laugh at your jokes and come to you for support because of your tenderness to the world: to which he has learned was your highest virtue, a weapon of undoing to his bruised soul. He'll clench his fist and furrow his eyebrows because he knows the cafe's barista will ask you more 'How are you?' than himself, he knows the youth living down the road will banter with you more as you share a cake you can't finish on your own, he knows the woman walking her dog every Saturday will acknowledge you more than he has in a month. He knows he won't be part of the small moments scattered about your life. He knows it damn well.
GHOST WHO seldom mentions you around anyone, even t141. Initially, it was all about your security: to keep the spark in your eyes aflame, it always is of course. However, amongst the dim lights of a bar, the rest drunk on the fleeting rush of victory and memoria, he'll make sure to silence the thrashing beat of his heart and the desperate desire crawling up his throat to join in on the drunken yearning and say: "I miss my wife."
GHOST WHO returns home to either your waking body or sleeping flesh. The cycle repeats anew.
cod masterlist. ( yet to be made ) / similar posts
⤷ omg! first post of the blog. got a little angst out here... hope you enjoyed it. reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!
I don’t care if it’s Valentine’s Day—if he doesn’t look at me like this, then I don’t want him!
“i wish i could tell you how i really feel.”
“sometimes, the silence says more than words ever could.”
“if only you knew what goes on in my mind when i look at you.”
“i keep my feelings hidden because I’m afraid of what might happen if you knew.”
„every time I see you, my heart aches with things left unsaid.”
“i wonder if you can sense how much you mean to me.”
“there’s so much I want to say, but I can’t find the right words.”
“you have no idea how hard it is to act like everything is normal.”
“every smile, every laugh, it’s all a cover for what I really feel inside.”
“sometimes, i catch myself staring at you, wishing things were different.”
“i wish you could read my mind, so I wouldn’t have to say it out loud.”
“there are a thousand things I want to tell you, but I can’t.”
“if you ever found out, it might ruin everything.”
“every time i’m near you, my heart screams what my lips can’t.”
“i hope one day i’ll have the courage to tell you how i really feel.”
unpopular take
ghost isn’t aggressive or overly dominant in any sense. in almost all of his voice lines, he’s calm and collected or simply quiet, especially in his banter and life lessons with soap during the gameplay. he doesn’t like being smacked around in bed, nor does he like smacking around others he loves. he’s had too much trauma from being smacked around, neglected, degraded, assaulted, everything that comes from torture and war that he physically can’t bring himself to do it in relationships.
he’s surprisingly gentle, something that you didn’t really expect going from his outward appearances. in the beginning all of his touches are soft and easy, as much as he can be, like a ghost grazing your skin. he never pushes your limits, respects the boundaries you set up when it comes to what you will and won’t do because he knows what it’s like for those to be crossed without his consent. (the comics are brutal to read, his story is fucked.) it takes him awhile to open up enough to actually get in bed with you, even just cuddling and holding one another.
he’s sensitive when it comes to his feelings regarding you, he’s lost everything he’s loved before so it’s a new experience for him. he worries a lot that he’ll lose you too somehow. he knows he’s not good with words or showing his care most of the time outwardly, something he’s picked up over his time serving. so he tries extra hard with the more subtle indicators, picking up small gifts that remind him of you, when you finally get to spend time together he offers his undivided attention, placing his hand over ledges he knows you bump into often, going out of his way to leave you a coffee when he has to go, etc.
when you finally trust each other enough to actually sleep with one another, he’s so careful. he’s afraid to hurt you, to scare you away, to accidentally push past your limits. he doesn’t like being rough with you, he doesn’t think you deserve that sort of treatment, doesn’t want to feel like he’s working again. he likes slow and close, the stark contrast of genuine intimacy he’s unused to being welcomed with open arms. missionary where he’s leaning close over you, bodies flushed, eye contact, noses brushing against each other, telling you how good you are for him, how much he really loves you. after the deed is done, he’s just as careful. doesn’t want you or him to feel used in any way, talking, holding one another close, kissing your forehead, cheeks, nose, carefully cleaning you up, etc. he’s gentle to you, for you.
will update this every few weeks/months. alternatively, here are all my tagged Writing Worksheets & Templates
Chapter Outline ⚜ Character- or Plot-Driven Story
Death & Sacrifice ⚜ Magic & Rituals
Tension ⚜ Thought Distortions
50 Questions ⚜ Backstory ⚜ Character Creation
Character Creator; Name; Quirks; Flaws; Motivation
Character Profile (by Rick Riordan) ⚜ Character Sheet Template
Story-Worthy Hero ⚜ "Well-Rounded" Character Worksheet
20 Questions ⚜ Decisions & Categories ⚜ Worksheet
Setting ⚜ Dystopian World
Writing References: Worldbuilding ⚜ Plot ⚜ Character
all posts are queued. send questions/requests here.
(affirming myself in the mirror) if that fictional man was real he would fuck you. He would fuck you. You're his exact type. If he saw you he'd get a boner instantly. He would fuck you he would fu