Tim (on The Phone With Cass): I Can Be There In Twenty-five Minutes. I Promise There's Nothing That Will

Ra's losing lasertag is hilarious

Dick: we don’t talk about Jason’s death, Dami, because it’s insensitive and we don’t want to remind him of bad memories!

Damian: *squints*

-later-

Damian: -and then he said because he doesn’t want to remind you of any bad memories, which-

Jason, absently: that’s fucking rude. what bad memories?

Damian: -right?! you coming to the league and becoming my ahki was the best thing that could have ever happened to you. it is NOT a bad memory.

Jason: i mean i was talking about convincing Ra’s to play a match of laser tag with us as ‘moving target training’ but sure you’re great too.

Damian: Grayson simply does not understand our bond.

Jason, not even looking up from his phone: uh-huh. so true kiddo.

Damian: *grins smugly*

Tim, watching them interact:

Tim:

Tim: he’s talking about Jason being beaten and blown up you fucking weirdos.

Tim:

Tim: …you got Ra’s to play laser tag?

Jason: mhm.

Damian: he lost devastatingly quickly.

When Bruce met Bernard, he was skeptical. He respects Tim's choice of partner don't get him wrong, but something about the boy triggers his paranoia.

Bernard is on his way to getting a dual PhD in physics and biology. (Rouge gallery are mostly doctorates)

He spouts conspiracies with passion. (Some were close to the truth and contain details that a normal civilian shouldn't know)

When discussing said theories he has this manic look in his eyes. (also this child is an ex-member of a pain cult)

It didn't help that one day when Bernard was visiting Tim is the manor the boy casually said "You know Gotham's cave system are so interesting. They span across the city and from my research, bats tend to migrate here, especially in the area around Wayne Manor." (Bernard was working on a conspiracy about how Batman is actually an alien pretending to be vampire by mimicking bats and failing.)

Later that night, Bruce has Bernard's profile under the 'potential rogue list' Right next to Tim's name.

Headcanon that early on in Dick's tenure as Robin, Batman gets seriously injured during patrol one night. Not enough that his life is in danger, but like, enough that he's unconscious and needs medical attention.

And after he gets him squared away, Jim Gordon sees a small, masked child covered in someone else's blood, and then his Dad (tm) instincts kick in, and he refuses to let Robin go to wherever he calls home alone. So he just... takes him back to his home.

And this can go two directions. Either

Barbara, not Batgirl yet, wakes up when her father comes home and sees a boy slightly younger than her, covered in blood, and befriends him, for sure freaking out her father but also making him incredibly worried about Robin and if he has any other friends or not.

or

Barbara, fully Batgirl, but not on patrol that night because she had a test that next day, wakes up when her father comes home, and comes face to face with her best friend in his masked alter ego, and they both have to pretend that they don't know each other for like two days, meanwhile Dick's sweating because like Holy shit, I've had sleepovers here before, whatever you do, don't act like Dick Grayson.

Either way it ends with Dick, mask still firmly in place but wearing Barbara's pajamas, and Babs fully passed out on the ground around a game of monopoly when Batman finally comes to collect his sidekick.

This experience would also make Jim Gordon even more terrified for Robin on a daily basis because before, he was sort of a shadowy, cryptic force that followed Batman around, but now Jim knows that he's just a little boy, smaller than his own daughter, that likes the same games and cartoons that Babs does, and I'm not sure he'd be able to handle that.

Canon. Change my mind

Robin era Jason, who's going after the Riddler with Batman, and one of the Riddles is some kind of literary reference, so Jason solves it easily but when he gets to the location the riddle hinted at, it's wrong????

And it haunts him the whole time until they finally catch the Riddler and Jason gets to ask him about it before he gets locked up again, and turns out the Riddler just confused two diffrent barely similar quotes or something.

And Jason LOSES HIS MIND.

HE LOST SLEEP OVER THIS??! THIS?!?! HE THOUGHT HIS KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG HE HAD TO REOPEN THE ORIGINAL NOVEL, HE'S BEEN CARRYING ON HIM FOR THE REST OF THE INVESTIGATION JUST IN CASE-

Anyways Batman barely manages to save the Riddler from getting a papercover volume shoved down his throat.

Httyd 2 Toothless was SASSY. Oh if only he could talk-

Also yes this is that trend from tw.

Saw a post somewhere on TikTok a while back where Janet Drake survives and starts dating Talia al Ghul.

I find this in my mind every single day and it's absolutely hilarious the way this would play out.

Like, Tim and Damian, absolutely hate each other and one actively tries to kill the other while the other actively tries to get the other disowned.

But now neither can get disowned because both their mothers are dating, making them siblings in 3/4 ways.

I need more of this au.

if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.

The plight of a father of four boys

Batman (shouting, adopting an angry father voice): Why do you constantly make me angry and embarrass me?!

Nightwing looked at his brothers, who wore equally confused expressions. Batman groaned, his frustration evident, as he knew where this was heading.

Nightwing (waving his hands, exasperated): Batman, which one of us are you talking to?! Is it Red Hood?

Red Robin (pointing at the angry man, eager to deflect): It’s Red Hood, right?

Red Hood (denying, arms crossed): No, I don’t embarrass him. I annoy him! So it’s Red Robin, right? Because nobody likes him.

Robin (joining Red Hood's side, smirking): I agree!

Red Robin (spiteful tone, glaring): Oh, no, I know who it is. It’s the unwanted child, isn’t it?!

Robin (innocent, eyes wide): Why would you say that about Nightwing?

Nightwing (confused and defensive): What?!

Red Robin (pointing, voice escalating): No, I was talking about Robin Jr.! He knows I was!

Robin (shouting, angrily): Robin Jr.! Those are fighting words you knock off Timothée Chalamet!

Without warning, Robin pounced onto Red Robin's back, and they both tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs. Meanwhile, Nightwing and Red Hood started arguing, their verbal sparring quickly escalating into a physical altercation. Nightwing skillfully gained the upper hand, wrapping his arm around Red Hood’s neck in a headlock.

Batman sighed, feeling defeated, as he and Jim Gordon watched the bickering brothers. Jim couldn’t hide his amusement, much to Batman’s chagrin, a migraine already forming at his temples.

Jim (smirking): Hm, you know, I often forget you have like four or five kids. Which one were you referring to?

Batman (deadpan, rubbing his temples): All of them… All of them.

Jim (nodding, chuckling): Yeah, that tracks. Let them work it out of their system.

Batman (walking away, shaking his head): I usually do.

Jim (intentionally annoying the man): Hey, be thankful one of them isn’t a serial killer.

Batman (groaning, exasperated): Oh my god, it’s not a contest!

Dick: So how long have you been doing this whole crime fighting thing?

Peter: Honestly, kinda lost track around the 90s but a long time.

Dick: That's rough. You got any back up like a team?

Peter: Nah. Been on several teams but none that stick. I like doing things on my own.

Dick: Any family?

Peter: Nope. My parents were CIA agents and killed by the Red Skull, the leader of Hydra, when I was young-

Dick: W-wait-

Peter: I was adopted by my aunt and uncle but when I got my powers, I let a robber go and that same robber killed my uncle-

Dick hearing aggressive running in the distance: Pete stop-

Peter: Yea and after being spider-man for a while I was hated by a news organization, was accused of killing my first girlfriend's dad-

*Aggressive running speeds up*

Dick: Pete, stop he is coming-

Peter: And then she died in my arms after I tried to catch her with a web but didn't factor in the momentum. And I have been non-stop struggling since.

*Aggressive running stops*

Dick: Oh no... he is here.

Peter: Who-

Bruce Wayne bursting through the wall holding a robin costume: SO, YOU'VE STRUGGLED ALL YOUR LIFE AND ARE, OR CLOSE TO BEING, AN ORPHAN??

Dick: PETE RUN!

Much like Battinson is the opposite of the slutty womanizer socialite we usually think Bruce is, my headcanon about the new Superman is that he's the opposite of the dork shy nerd we usually think about Clark Kent.

So for me this new Clark is a bisexual disaster with much more experience he would admit as a polite midwestern.

I can picture him rollerskating 80s style, in shorts and crop top, big headphones on, sweaty scatterd curls...

Just umparalled unashamed sluttines. All Smallville eyes are glued on him.

Poor Kents had to send him study in Metropolis because people started to talk - not about his superpowers though.

He's a menace and he needs to be contained.