My Nails On Any Metalic Surface Or Anything I Hold That Vibrates

James Corden and Jimmy Fallon: We’re having a baby. 

Jimin: Oh, okay, that’s gr-

James *slamming down a pad of adoption papers*: It’s you. Sign here. 

YOU ONLY KEEP ONE BULL 

(Originally published in Comics For Choice)

Changbin: Are you wearing makeup? Where’d your freckles go?

Felix: Huh? Oh no, winter just makes my freckles fade.

Changbin: I see...

— later —

Changbin: [beating the snow with a shovel while angry mumbling] Give. Him. His. Freckles. Back. You. Bitch.

Young K: Wow! Watching 4 kids is hard!

Jinyoung: Ah! 4? Try 6!

Hongjoong: 6!? 6!? Get outta here. What about 7!

Chan: Losers! I have 8! EIGHT!

Coups: I have 12! You guys be grateful!

Taeyong: I HAVEN'T EVEN MET ALL MY KIDS YET! *slamming table* I. Keep. Getting. More. *looks*

Edit: I had to change San to Hongjoong because I got so many hate comments...

Matthias: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Kaz: I’m aware of that.

Matthias: But then you and I had some time together.

Kaz: Uh-huh.

Matthias: It did not get better.

“It’s August 18,“ she said. ”Your birthday, right?“

↳  happy 25th birthday, percy jackson! you’re forever 17 in our hearts!

art: x . x . x

That's my daddy everyone

yoongi: i don't have a resting bitch face. my bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant.

yoongi: my bitch face will rest when its work is done.

Felix: When I get murdered, make sure my case is unsolved.

Minho: What?

Felix: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Minho: Let's go back to the 'when I get murdered' part.

Finn has fire powers that he has a hard time controlling, so Roark’s garbage joke is extra snarky!

Characters belong to @authormagrant from her new book Prince of Air and Darkness, coming Feb 2019!