How Do I Explain That My Fandom Is Approximately 3000 Years Old, My Favourite Characters Are War Criminals

Your month, your insult told to Julius Caesar due to his alleged homosexual affair with Nicomedes IV

January - Dolabella: "the queen's rival, the inner partner of the royal couch”

February - Licinius Calvus: "Whate'er Bithynia had, and Caesar's paramour."

March - Bibulus: "the queen of Bithynia”, "of yore he was enamoured of a king, but now of a king's estate." 

April - Cicero: "No more of that, pray, for it is well known what he gave you, and what you gave him in turn."

May - Caesar’s soldiers: “Caesar subdued Gaul, Nicomedes subdued Caesar”

June - A random Octavius: greeted Pompey as "king" and Caesar as "queen." 

July - The elder Curio: "the brothel of Nicomedes and the stew of Bithynia." 

August - Gaius Memmius: said that he acted as cup-bearer to Nicomedes with the rest of his wantons at a large dinner-party, and that among the guests were some merchants from Rome. 

September - Cicero: said that Caesar was led by the king's attendants to the royal apartments, that he lay on a golden couch arrayed in purple, and that the virginity of this son of Venus was lost in Bithynia

October - Caesar’s soldiers: "All the Gauls did Caesar vanquish, Nicomedes vanquished him; / Lo! now Caesar rides in triumph, victor over all the Gauls, / Nicomedes does not triumph, who subdued the conqueror."

November - The elder Curio: Every woman’s husband and every man’s wife.”

December - Cicero: “I wish it may be true about the Queen and that Caesar of hers”

“Your name isn’t Hermes, it’s Bore-mes. Because you bore me.”

- Apollo to Hermes (at one point, probably)

Achilles and Patroclus are asteroids

There are two trojan asteroids named after Achilles and Patroclus. Discovered 22 February 1906 by Max Wolf at Heidelberg, 588 Achilles was the first-ever Jupiter trojan found. Only eight months later (17 October 1906), August Kopff discovered the Binary Trojan 617 Patroclus at Heidelberg. 

They are reunited in the stars.

There’s a butterfly called Morpho achilles patroclus

So, the other day, I just found out that the butterfly Morpho achilles has a subspecies called Morpho achilles patroclus. There’s also a butterfly called Morpho deidamia.

The other day I was telling someone about the Five Good Emperors of Rome. She looked at me like I was crazy and replied: “There were five of them?! I didn’t even think there was one!”

I was looking up something today and two of my recent searches popped up. I think that they may perhaps be equivalent.

"Telephones didn't exist in Ancient Greece." What do you mean?? Odysseus literally had one.

Cleopatra was once smuggled to Caesar in a bed-sack

It’s a well known story recounted by Plutarch that Cleopatra, aided by her confidant Apollodorus the Sicilian, hid herself “full-length inside a bed-sack” to elude her brother Ptolemy’s guards and gain secret access to Julius Caesar at Alexandria in 48 BC. Allegedly, Cleopatra landed at the palace when it was already dark and Apollodorus tied up the bed-sack before carrying it indoors to Caesar. Cassius Dio notes simply that Cleopatra “sent for Caesar in secret” and that he was captivated by her beauty and wit, but he omits any smuggling device. This story may be victim to Plutarch’s signature dramatisation, but it is compelling nonetheless.

Julius Caesar once received a graphic love letter in the Senate

According to Plutarch, when Caesar and Cato were standing and debating in the Senate chamber, a messenger showed up and gave Caesar a small note. Cato was suspicious about the note and wanted it to be read out to the assembled senators. Caesar handed the note to Cato, and when he opened the note, he discovered it contained a graphic love letter from Servilia (his maternal half-sister), detailing her passionate desires for Caesar. Embarrassed, Cato read the it aloud, then threw the letter back at Caesar, saying, "Take it, thou sot," before continuing his speech as if nothing had occurred.

Inside all of us are three Greeks: one from Sparta, one from Athens, and one from Athos. Two of them are gay and one is a virgin.