CHAPTER ONE IS UP!! I'm Working On Chapter Two, So It Should Be Up Soon!

CHAPTER ONE IS UP!! I'm working on chapter two, so it should be up soon!

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@neptunesyellowsands @atlasflower @sibrino @221b-bitch-st @josephinthepast @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @incorrect-camelot @idk-anymore-mydudes @thedaughterofkings @toomanyfanficsbruh

ok i have a dumb Merthur fic idea: Farmer Wants a Wife AU

hear me out:

Arthur is a rich bachelor who owns a farm

Merlin is his farm hand who lives in the local town

He’s been working for Arthur for 3 years- they got off on the wrong foot by insulting each other but since then have become close friends (not that either of them would admit it)

Morgana secretly signs Arthur up to the TV show Farmer Wants a Wife

Arthur has to host 4 beautiful women on his farm and take them on dates (and everything is being filmed)

Arthur starts to realise he misses Merlin- that he would rather be mucking out the stables with him, than on a boring picnic date

Maybe he kisses one of the women and realises he’s not attracted to her and he’s like Oh Shit: Sexuality Crisis

Of course some fun banter between Merlin and Arthur around the farm when they’ve stopped filming for the day- Merlin teases Arthur about the whole Wife thing

Maybe one of the women is Gwen and she Notices how much Arthur talks about Merlin, and she Notices how awful it was when Arthur kissed her, and she puts the pieces together

Maybe Arthur and Gwen become close as friends, and at some point he confides in her (off camera) and she’s like “I know.”

MAYBE ALL THE GIRLS HAVE INDEPENDENTLY FIGURED IT OUT- and they compare notes “yeah, he was SUCH a bad kisser” “definitely gay for his farm hand” AND THEY WORK TOGETHER TO COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET ARTHUR AND MERLIN TOGETHER

Arthur doesn’t know what’s going on, but the girls keep calling in “sick” and he keeps ending up on romantic dates with Merlin???

Don’t really know how to end this, but of course they end up together, Arthur’s a good kisser when it’s Merlin he’s kissing, he remains good friends with Gwen and the girls, and they make television history

(Edit: I started writing it. Stay tuned)

More Posts from Humblebumblebooks and Others

7 months ago

The way Arthur says: “You can’t address me like that!” to Merlin in the pilot. The suppressed laughter, the delighted surprise at his audacity, the hint of fondness already there.

You can tell that apart from the possible exception of Morgana, no one has spoken to him so freely in his life. 

Bradley James!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

3 months ago

ladies and gentlemen: Camelot’s deadliest warrior meets the world’s most powerful sorcerer

Arthur could have killed or seriously injured Merlin during the "take you apart with one blow" fight if he'd wanted to, but he's just... pulling pigtails.

Like he swings that mace for about 10 seconds while he's got Merlin cornered on the floor, waiting for Merlin to get back up and play fight. Then he incapacitates Merlin harmlessly and looks at him all 😍😍 "You're stupid, but you're brave. There's something about you, Merlin." OK, Arthur 👍

4 months ago

ok, i did in fact scour the internet for fics like this (and sadly there is not many! @ fic writers please feed us) but here is a list of ones i found:

Kissing Lessons by objectlesson [6k words | Rating: E]

Summary: Arthur is a shitty kisser. Merlin offers instructional assistance.

This fic is AMAZING and it is a CRIME that it's still incomplete! (but still reads well as a standalone piece)

People Should Marry for Love, Not Convenience by Fantasy_lalaland [6k words | Rating: M]

"So you don't know a lot about women." Arthur stands, strides over to his bed and flops ungracefully onto the mattress. "But you do know lots about men. Well I'm a man. Show me." Merlin's definitely hallucinating. There'd been something in the wine because this was impossible. Arthur waiting for him to come to his bed and fool around with him. He doesn't move from his spot on the floor. He only peers curiously at Arthur from beneath his heavy eyelids. "How will that help you know how to bed your wife?"

That Awkward Age by i_know_its_0ver [3k words | Rating: M]

Arthur is secretly in love with Merlin but can't tell him, so he comes up with a plan to get Merlin to help him "practice" his kissing.

Only Incidentally Homosexual by itsspanner [6k words | Rating: T]

“Merlin, would you be willing to kiss me?” Arthur asks nonchalantly, sounding perfectly monotone as if that was an acceptable thing to ask Merlin first thing in the morning, or at any time really. Merlin and Arthur kiss for the first time, never intending for a repeat. But who were they kidding really by thinking that they could stop once that they had a taste of what they wanted most? Or 5 times Merlin and Arthur kiss and one time they actually do anything about it

These probably exist, perhaps I even read them, but that's only more reason to ask for recs:

Arthur has never been kissed. As prince, it's hard for him to go out and try these things, and he mentions it to Merlin.

Merlin may or may not opens up the idea that he and Arthur could... You know...

Practice


Tags
4 months ago

Merlin (talking about gay marriage): “it’s legal now”

Arthur (thinking he means sorcery)

*cue a bunch of hilarious miscommunications*

do you guys think merlin and arthur knows its legal now


Tags
1 month ago

in no particular order, here are a few of my faves i've read in the last 6 months or so (as someone relatively new to the fandom, so apologies if you've already read all of these!)

To Be A Hero - fancyh | 78k words | rating: M

Modern magical AU where Merlin is a forensic scientist by day, magical vigilante by night, and Arthur is the police detective trying to catch him. SECRET IDENTITIES! SUCH A SLAY!

 Charting Stars on a Stained Glass Ceiling - mornmeril | 80k words | rating: E | 🎙️podfic by Amanita_Fierce

Futuristic scifi AU, with a love potion, forced proximity and fake dating. Such a beautiful build, and so much yearning. And the podfic is SO PROFFESSIONAL. This fic feels so addictive, and it genuinely has ALL of my favourite tropes

The Arduous Taming of a Difficult Prat - Saladscream | 55k words | Rating: E

SUCH a good canon era fic that made me cry like a baby (in the best way)

My Way Home is Through You - evaelisaa, Leandra | 118K words | rating: E

I still think about this fic to this day. IT'S AMAZING. Such a genius blend of canon and modern era.

of course anything and everything written by horsecrazy

and I finished the Loaded March series by footloose earlier this year, which was excellent and definitely worth the time inverstment

and as a last resort, if you've read all of these amazing works, I am writing a dumb little Farmer Wants a Wife AU because why the hell not

Help! I think I’ve run out of good #Merthur fics! Share your fave??

Help! I Think I’ve Run Out Of Good #Merthur Fics! Share Your Fave??

Tags
6 months ago
It’s Always Either Or
It’s Always Either Or

It’s always either or

1 year ago

Do you kids know how hard it is to hyper fixate on shit as a goddamn adult?? Sorry boss I know you need those files done but I’m too busy giggling like a goddamn school girl over a fictional man

7 months ago
These Are The Tiny Moments I Love. It’s The Way Arthur’s Eyes Don’t Leave Merlin After He Looks

These are the tiny moments I love. It’s the way Arthur’s eyes don’t leave Merlin after he looks away. Not only do they not leave him, but you can literally see his eyes flick around Merlin’s face.

It’s a moment just for Arthur. To observe and appreciate his friend up close. He even does a little gulp as he’s taking in his side profile, his cheekbones, his chin. His Merlin.

Arthur loves Merlin. He was destined to.

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humblebumblebooks - ella writes about two medieval idiots
ella writes about two medieval idiots

she/her | 22trying my hand at a bit of fanfic writing | ao3 mostly just Merthur

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