Latest Posts by illustratum-paradoxon - Page 2
Happy 11/11!!
#1111 #manifestation #spellwork #guides #ritualmagic #empath #empaths #empathessentials #empathprotection #empathempowerment #empathsbelike #empathproblems #soultribe #glowup #levelup #empathlife #empathsofinstagram #lightworkersofinstagram #witchesofinstagram #soulgrowth #metaphysical #lightworkers #witchyvibes #wicca #greenwitch #whitewitch #babywitch #GOODVIBES https://www.instagram.com/p/CHdJvSenLlj/?igshid=1enq7k67j7wl7
the scariest thing of having your brain blocking out bits of traumatic memories is that you’re always afraid people won’t believe you because you don’t remember enough
My loves, I know these are stressful times. Please go easy on yourself right now. If you are feeling overwhelmed know that your feelings are valid and there is a community of fellow Empaths feeling them too.
We are living in historical times. As Empaths, feeling all of this pain and stress is INTENSE. Know that I am sending you love.
Remember your breathing.
Art: Asja Boros
#soultribe #selflove #selfcare #empath #empaths #empathessentials #empathprotection #empathempowerment #alonetogether #covid #election #lifeiscraaaaaayyyyyy https://www.instagram.com/p/CHMVB1mn_cg/?igshid=fm3av8fnfbiw
Inner Child Love 💞
- Illustratum Paradoxon
Via: @alexisrakun
#shadowwork #empath #empaths #empathessentials #empathsofinstagram #empathlife #empathproblems #empathsbelike #empathprotection #empathempowerment #soultribe #glowup #levelup #divinefeminine #divinemasculine #lightworkers #spiritualhealing #spiritualawakening #GOODVIBES https://www.instagram.com/p/CG8gn0lHxBV/?igshid=pn1gnt2m8rxy
I second this.
#spirituality #elementalmagic #empath #empathessentials #empathprotection #empathempowerment #empathsbelike #spiritualgangster #soultribe #glowup #levelup #empathlife #empathsofinstagram #soulgrowth #metaphysical #lightworkers #GOODVIBES https://www.instagram.com/p/CGqZke5HyPH/?igshid=14zlhiro73ulq
The devil is persistent
But my God is consistent
If it wasn’t for my God
I‘d fall far from existence
Spiritual revolution
Is happening inside of me
Spiritual revolution
Something Only God
And I can see
Written 7•15•20
-Illustratum Paradoxon
*The revolution is still happening.
The war for my soul is not over.
Clinging on to God
And anything of light. 💡
Pushing religion and bs agendas away
I just want YWHW*
-Illustratum Paradoxon
Forever Misunderstood.....and finally ok with that. 🖤 🙌🏼
-Illustratum Paradoxon
You’ve allowed every other person in your life to USE you for their advantage. Why not let God use you for others advantage? Why not let God use you to bring Glory to him by helping others be used in the RIGHT way. Not USED AND ABUSED. Used and redeemed!Used and restored! Used and reusable for more use! Not broken. Not defective. Not abandoned. We are Gods treasure when the world says we are trash!
-Illustratum Paradoxon
God is the gps of my life, without him I am lost. Without his direction, the enemy will navigate me towards death. Death of my salvation. Death of my purpose. Death of my calling to be Christ like. Don’t forget to plug God into your navigation system. We all make wrong turns. Maybe even some illegal u-turns, but God will be there to reset the route and get you started back on your journey back to YOU. Back to HIM. Back to HOME. 🖤
-Illustratum Paradoxon
I think I’m done trying to be everyone else’s versions of who I am. We all perceive this world differently. I just want to see me from my own lens for once. I’m tired of fitting everyone else’s mold of perfection. What if my way is the right way for me. Your way is the right way for you. Why won’t we embrace our differences too? Let me be. You continue to be you.
-Illustratum Paradoxon
What if confusion is just clarity of another reality?
-Illustratum Paradoxon
I do this. Do you?
Via: @femalepositivity
#positivethinking #manifestation #empath #empathessentials #empathprotection #empathempowerment #crystals #crystalhealing #spiritualgangster #soultribe #glowup #levelup #divinefeminine #anxietyrelief #empathlife #soulgrowth #awakenedsoul #starseed #metaphysical #raiseyourvibe #infj #GOODVIBES https://www.instagram.com/p/CFVO7eOnvNZ/?igshid=fk4wfzaaa0f
I like this!
Via: 3dsuccess.org
#empaths #empathessentials #empathlife #empathsbelike #soultribe #quarantine #alonetogether #empathsofinstagram #empathempowerment #empathprotection #empowerment #protection #GOODVIBES https://www.instagram.com/p/CEr2GxanmtL/?igshid=1oxa6656cmq80
Same. 😔
Here comes the days of hell...
(aka the peak of my PMDD)
Feelings include:
And the result is:
Conflict and tears. Me arguing with my family and me crying a lot.
I really f*cking hate this crap.
Take care of yourselves
Sometimes trying to make someone understand you as deeply as you understand yourself is fucking torture.
-Illustratum Paradoxon
1. I hate inauthenticity
2. Jesus
3. Malls maybe. Books will never die!
4. Being a kid. Carefree and no worries.
5. Any memory with my Children
6. I felt lonely in the city. I moved to the suburbs. Still feel lonely at times.
7. Society is headed towards new beginnings.
8. How much focus people put on fighting about how DIFFERENT they are instead of embracing that we are all very much the same. We are HUMAN.
9. I think about how gorgeous the clouds are. I think about the people I lost who are up there watching over me. I think about an everlasting after life and what’s beyond what my eyes can see.
10. Sunsets
11. Yes! Creativity/Art can come in all forms. I think if we all just learned a craft or skill we would be productive and happy.
12. The arts can hurt people if there are dark meanings behind the art. Or if the Art is glorifying death, depression etc. then it can hurt you more then it can help you.
13. My mind.
14. I believe in a divine plan God has for each of us. If we follow his will then I guess you can call it fate, but we do have free will and some of us detour Gods plan and get there later then he wanted us to or sometimes never depending on which path we chose.
15. It’s depends on the situation. I panic when I feel out of control of a situation. I like to find solutions and when I can’t I panic.
16. Sometimes lol. Sometimes the best has no chance and it goes first lol.
17. When something is worth it, it not only aligns with your goal, but the morals and values to achieve that goal will also align with you and that’s what makes it worth it and rewarding in the end.
18. My two older brothers that I’ve only seen twice in my life.
19. None. Don’t have any to be close to. One has been incapable since birth and one is unknown.
20. I would change being hyper sexualized at a young age. I thought my initial answer was I wouldn’t change a thing because it made me who I am, but that really bothers me. I knew about sexual stuff way too young.
21. Alone.
22. Of course! And second and thirds. I’m talking about people you love and matter. I’m not talking about abusive boyfriends and toxic frenimies. God forgives us daily and I try to replicate that with the people I love and who mean everything to me.
23. Moving doesn’t effect me anymore. It did but I created my own tribe and now I don’t feel alone. Now when I move, my whole tribe comes with.
24. That’s hard. Both? They go hand in hand kind of.
25. Not many exciting things happening this year....
26. I would change how judge mental everyone is towards each other. Just let people be. Stop spewing hate just because someone is different.
27. My darkest, taboo thoughts? I tend to think about death a lot. Not necessarily wanting to take my own life, but I do wonder how things would change if I wasn’t here. Would people understand me after I’m gone?
28. Home is most definitely a feeling.
29. In my past life I was FEARLESS. In this life I allow fear to stop me at times and I can literally feel that FEARLESS person trying to rip out of me. Hey maybe she’s not so far in the past.
30. I’m gonna answer this with a story: whenever my estranged mother would come to visit me I would cry knowing she was coming. When she finally got there and I got through my “Hello” and was content with her being there, she’d say it was time for her to go. The crying would begin yet again. Sigh. So I don’t know honestly. Hellos are better then goodbyes but I find relief saying goodbye at times. Pure Relief.
31. I would rather love. I love deeply. I love intensely. I love playfully. I love sensually. I love GODLY. Sometimes I expect THAT kind of fiery love in return and it’s not the case. So I’d rather love because I have lots of it to give and I like to show others what it’s like to REALLY love.
32. Beauty is effortless. Honestly it truly is in the eye of the beholder. I can find beauty in almost anything. That’s because that how I view the world around me. It doesn’t have to be sparkly and shiny to be pretty. Beauty is found in the deepest smile creases or it can be found in a monochrome view of a funeral where family members are embracing and the only color that pops are the reds of the roses.
33. Truth and reality is the key to happiness. If you aren’t true to yourself and others then your life isn’t a reality. It’s just a facade. Who could honestly say they would be happy being fake?
34. I think it is very easy to manipulate people and that’s why there are so many blind and asleep people. The question should be are you easily manipulated.
35. Happiness comes from loving yourself for you. Embracing your flaws and quirks. Happiness comes from surrounding yourself with people who value you just for you and not what they want you to be. Happiness comes from having a relationship with my creator.
36. I do. I feel freer today during a pandemic, quarantining and social distancing against my will then I did before I knew Jesus. THATS how free I feel.
37. Depends on my mood. I love both. 🌊 🌲
38. Nope.
39. Life or death situation.
40. I STRONGLY believe this is true. I was extremely particular about what I named my children and the meanings behind each. I really do believe names have a huge role in who we are.
41. Language allows our thinking to expand.
42. No. I respect all things SACRED.
43. When I want to explain myself to the point of understanding and when understanding isn’t attained I get so frustrated feeling misunderstood.
44. I think we are constantly in a battle. A spiritual battle. It’s like having a little angel and a tiny devil on your shoulders. Those thoughts of romanticizing pain isn’t from God. I can’t fathom any other reason why we sit in pain at times. Are we that decensitized?
45. Both. I give eye contact when I speak to others, but I’m also a physical touch person. Also the eye contact must come first. Don’t touch me without the contact. Because then I feel like you’re using my love language to your advantage and I need that confirmation of the eye contact.
46. If you and that person are meant to be, then yes distance can make the heart grow fonder. BUT if that person isn’t meant for you the distance may actually help you realize that they aren’t for you.
47. There is a whole year of my life that I can not remember for the life of me and it drives me insane. I can remember a huge event right before and I remember everything after that year, but not that particular year following said big event. Sigh.
48. Not really. Every friendship I had ended very sour, but it’s ok because I have an amazing friend now and it makes complete sense why those other “friendships” didn’t work out.
49. Always and forever! Free indeed!
-Illustratum Paradoxon
Questions I wished I asked you
1. What do you hate about people 2. Who are you waiting for 3. Are libraries, malls, bookstores dying 4. What is your favourite memory 5. What memory are you afraid to lose 6. Do you feel lonely in the city 7. Where is society going 8. What disappoints you most about the world 9. What do you think about when you look at the sky 10. Sunsets or sunrises 11. Do you think the arts can save people 12. How does the arts hurt people 13. What do you fear losing 14. Do you believe in fate, or is everything just a coincidence 15. Do you panic easily 16. Do you save the best for last 17. What does it mean for something to be worth it 18. Who from your past would you want to meet again 19. Which parent are you closer to 20. If you could change anything about how you were raised what would it be 21. If you’re in a bad mood do you prefer to be alone or with someone 22. Do you believe in second chances 23. How does moving affect you 24. Language or music 25. Most exciting thing that happened to you this year 26. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be 27. Describe one of your darkest, taboo thoughts 28. Is home a place or a feeling 29. Have you ever had dreams about a past life, what would your past life be like 30. Hello or goodbye 31. Would you rather love or be loved 32. How do you define beauty 33. Compared to happiness, how important is truth and reality 34. Do you find it easy to manipulate people 35. Where does happiness come from 36. Do you believe yourself to be truly free 37. Sea or land 38. Are you easily persuaded 39. When is lying important 40. Does a person’s name influence who they become 41. How much does language affect our thinking 42. Are you sacrilegious 43. Do you find it hard to let go 44. Why do we romanticize pain 45. Are you more responsive to eye contact or touch 46. Does distance make the heart grow fonder 47. Do you ever think about the memories you can’t remember 48. What was a friendship you wish you could’ve still kept 49. Does the truth set you free
How cozy is this room?? 😍🌙
You know what’s crazy. If people knew I had this page they probably would think I was crying victim. Honestly I’ve never been one to use my traumas as a way to manipulate people to love me. If I have believe me, it was not consciously. I REFUSE to be portrayed as a victim or anyone to pity because of what I’ve been through. 1. Because they only know parts, they don’t even know the half and 2. Because speaking about them and proving that I have healed by being able to speak without crying & without pain, is fucking empowering! Yes I have bad days. Yes things still trigger me. But 👏🏼 it 👏🏼 does 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 make 👏🏼 me 👏🏼 nor will it BREAK me. I refuse to give power to the abusive addict mother and absent mystery donor. I refuse to give power to any of my abusers. Sexual. Mental. Emotional. Physical. Abuse. They say people abuse something when they don’t know the purpose of it. People looked past my purpose. Past my very essence of my being. They only saw the poor foster kid that was “troubled” not the kid who had potential seeping out of her regardless of the cards she was dealt. They dimmed my light for so so long. Only I had the power to turn that light back on and fight to keep it on by removing those toxic people. Removing toxic habits I had. And removing toxic thoughts that I grew to believe. Once I UNlearned everything that was crammed into my brain about who I was, I was able to find who I TRULY am. I’m a beacon of light. I’m hope for the orphans. I’m goals for the underdog. I’m a voice for the hurt and lonely. I speak the unspoken words that people hold on to for so long. I give them a voice. I don’t put light on my struggle and darkness to immortalize it but to show you that out of darkness comes LIGHT. That while in that dark place, regardless of what you feel or think, you are NOT alone. I’m also here to remind those who have faith or maybe have fallen far from their faith that just because you follow Jesus does not make you untouchable. Even he had to carry his own cross. So please. Be humble. Be level headed. Know that victimizing yourself will only leave you stuck. Rise above that. Know who you are in Christ. After that all other labels and boxes that they tried to fit you in will be BROKEN. I will never forget a prophysy given to me. God spoke to me through a complete stranger and he told me clearly “BE YOURSELF” he wants a relationship with YOU. Not a religion. Not indoctrination. No rituals. Just YOU.
-Illustratum Paradoxon
This has been my journey this past year, and it’s one of the reasons I have posted less and less on this site. I’m finally learning to break free of the “peacemaker” and “conflict avoider” side of my personality type, and I’m learning to speak my truth, even if it leads to uncomfortable situations. THIS is how INFJs become leaders, not just the wise consultants in the background. We speak up, we take action, and we let our feelings out.
And I’ve lost some family and friends because of this. But the majority of people have actually reached out to me and praised me on my “badassery” and my ability to say exactly what everyone is thinking. So I will continue to speak my truth, not with the intention of upsetting people, but because I am capable of seeing the grays in the spectrum and shining a light on injustices in a unique and convincing way. And I don’t feel the need to hold back anymore.
Sourced from INFJ Refuge on Facebook.
I ain’t no digital thug
But on the real
Some of ya need some digital hugs
I resonate with you truly I do
I just wish you knew how to resonate too.
We don’t have to agree
We don’t have to think the same
It’s doesn’t mean I hate
It doesn’t mean I’m lame
I just wish for things that are higher then this drama
Higher then the pain
The lives lost
Deteriorating mind frames
All at what cost?
Wake up
Return from the slumber
Stop sitting around
“I wonder, I wonder”
Can life truly be this hard?
It’s so simple
To me honestly
God said love others
Let’s start there
We’ll see
Let’s be fair
Put yourselves in someone else’s shoes
Quit playing victim
And live the life God dealt you
Live it to the fullest
Live it like a full house
Live it like an ace of spades
Stop playing fearful meek mouse
Fight for what’s right
And hop off the band wagons
Jesus coming soon ya better quit laggin.
I say this with so much love
Not because I’m perfect
Not because I judge
I just want you to make it home
So we can party up above.
-Illustratum Paradoxon
Sooo Yesterday I had a very public anxiety attack and yelled at a parking lot full of people....at Walmart out of all places! Sigh...Thank God for his Mercy & Grace because I was INSTANTLY mortified. But at least I can now laugh back at it because honestly that shit was straight out of a tv show. 🤦🏻♀️ I never thought I’d ever lose my shit in public. Anywayssss in other news. Today I PERMANENTLY deleted my Instagram. Something that was so weirdly hard for me to do was actually very liberating. I hate anything zuckerberg touches. I used to love IG until Facebook bought it. Scrolling literally pisses me off. So I guess I’m living pretty damn balanced lol. Public BFs one day and purging of social media the next. I’ll be ok...
-Illustratum Paradoxon
