I Spent Like 3 Weeks Trying To Come Up With A Cute Pun And Still Came Up Empty. It's Still Great Though.

I found rusty paperclip on the college campus yesterday. I picked it up because it reminded me of myself.

i am the 4 am potato thing i don't speak tree

As soon as my body starts to malfunction or fail me/become weak/fragile I'm rerolling

MAN IM SO ANGRY WE WONT GET ANOTHER DAFT PUNK SONG.

If I am elected president I promise to kill the president.

im as horny as i am depressed

i can't stop thinking about girlcock 😭

FOOF

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

Flirting with an aromantic is such a uniquely one-sided experience. It's like trying to use sign language to communicate with a blind person but in my case it's somehow worse because I don't actually know sign language so anyone who looked just saw me pantomiming to some blind dude. And the blind dude can't just tell you he doesn't understand because he CAN'T EVEN SEE how bad your communication is. Like.... at least with an ace they can tell you you're making a fool out of yourself before you're a week deep into their dms trying to recommend Izumi Sena Love Stage to someone who DOESNT EVEN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF ROMANTIC ATTRACTION and it's just UAFaeilALVEA. I can't even comprehend not internally fangirling whenever someone you're dating calls you cute. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW they only view being called cute the same way you do when a friend says you look nice. I.... just.... Logically, I understand. Emotionally, i feel betrayed by the very concept. Socially? I'm inept.

It's not like I'm not fine with aromantics. Friendship is the important part anyways. The logical part of my brain is just sitting there going "This is fine. That makes sense. They just want friendship and maybe sex. That's a perfectly valid way to live life". Meanwhile the emotional half is just sitting there screaming and crying incoherently, and i can't really do anything about that.

I invented a new flavor of ice cream called "psy-op". It's like Neapolitan but instead of actually having different flavors in each stripe it's just cream flavored.