Samus Aran (Metroid Series)

Candy cigarettes that actually taste like cigarettes

it's incomprehensible how much of my brainpower is spent CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT SUCKING DICK

Is there like a cure for constantly being horny?

It's been -78 days since the last day i didn't randomly think about gay sex and that's only if you count the day i realized i didn't think about gay sex which is still technically thinking about gay sex. If you don't I have no clue what it's like to not have your thoughts filled with AGGRESSIVE GAYNESS.

I remember the before times. They feel like a distant dream.

internet politics and real-world politics have gotten so separated, and pretty soon all this internet weirdness is gonna come crashing into real life and politicians are gonna start throwing around words like “SJW” and “anime communist” and “dark enlightenment” and it’s just gonna be the most ridiculous fucking thing

pretty sure water is gay. straight people can't swim they have to walk along the bottom of the ocean in a void.

Imagine going to take a shower and the water just dodges you, and not being able to tell whether you are hydrophobic or if the water has become homophobic.

An asexual and an aromantic would make the worst odd couple imaginable.

Literally incapable of reconciling their differences or even feeling what the other person feels. They're good friends but neither of them understand the context clues the other is sending. One is always screwing the neighbors and the other is constantly confused when their attempts to romance a brick wall bear no fruits.

Easily the worst fucking sitcom possible. Every single scene is uncomfortable. None of the jokes land. nothing ever gets resolved. "But at least normal people would understand ace/aero better as a result", the marketing team pitches! Only to find out that the sitcom actually makes people understand them worse.

Runs a good first season and is immediately canceled with a cliffhanger ending

The best part about cleaning out your office is finding all the random post its and not remembering a single thing about why any of it was ever written down. My head is pounding, I'm dizzy, and I'm sitting here staring at a barely legible post it wondering what the fuck does Center of my soul have to do with Schelling's Theory of Rational Deterrence and why they're on the same post it as a grocery list containing the single item of ramen noodles.

I have no idea what this lettuce is doing here but the rest is cute.

https://www.instagram.com/sotce?igsh=MThjMTAwOGFrZnU1Mg==

FOOF

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

I assure you every part of my body is a masochist but my brain knows vaping is cringe