30 Day Fictionkind Challenge
30 Day Fictionkind Challenge
Day 5: Do you fictionflicker?
I do not.
Day 6: When did you realize you were fictionkin? How long have you been in the community?
I would say I had my first inklings and thoughts at least seven or eight years ago at this point. I had been in a very dark place mentally and had been glancing over at the kin community; it seemed comforting in a way I did not know how to voice. I didn't formally identify with it until only a year or two ago. I hadn't been willing to accept the identity because it felt "cringeworthy", embarrassing to admit to. I hadn't made a formal move half a decade ago because I'd been concerned about what it would have done to my already precarious grip on my mental health - how would removing myself further from reality help me cling to it?
Now, in a much more stable place and state of mind, my acceptance comes from a place of simply wanting to harmonize with myself more. It had been something my therapist had suggested, to take a spiritual angle to some of the more internally distressing things in my life. I am at peace with my identity and find community with others here, though I've only reached out to the overall community within the past year.
Lots of answers, but I didn't exactly take a linear path now, did I?
More Posts from Introspective-in-somnia and Others
Why is it so much more painful this time? I can barely look myself in the mirror, the disconnect is so great; the short term memory gaps seem to be less often but that's also been a new manifestation. There were definitely times in the past where I'd been jarred by the face I see in the reflection but it's never been quite like this.
As if I haven't thought about getting long scarves or bunches of fabric to trail down my back the way my wings were, as if I haven't thought about wearing my antennae in public
Reggia di Venaria, Italy, photo by Maria Elena Pini
La Sainte-Chapelle in Paris, France - 2010
I've registered for othercon; actually genuinely excited to see what the community is like, given how little interaction I've had with it thus far 💖
30 Day Fictionkind Challenge
Day 10: Link to/tag your favorite fictionkin Tumblr.
Aside from my own? Unfortunately, I don't have one. I'm fairly new to the community on an overall level and haven't found many others.
Day 11: Have you ever met other fictionkin? In real life or online?
I have spoken well with at least one other person who openly experiences kin the way I do, but haven't had more interaction than that. I would love to meet someone who is fictionkin in real life, just to have that bonding moment.
I have, however, seen a few other blogs made by those who also kin this character. None appear to be active, and I'm not sure if I could even find them again at this rate, but I do strongly recall them for the impact they left on me. I was at least a little embarrassed by who I'd found myself feeling drawn towards, and seeing others interacting with that same draw made me feel at least a bit more at ease.
I would love to be able to meet more.
It's the question almost of asking what exactly he is to me - a word, a phrase, a term to encompass, with the full knowledge that there simply may not be one.
Kin or fictive, for certain, but also with the presence as an f/o as well; the actual relationship I have with this character is muddled but he's remained an ever-present force in my life and I simply would not trade my experience for the world.
I want to be associated with him, I want people to see him and immediately think of me, I know it's what I've wanted for quite some time, and the amount of love that has come from my interactions with him speaks volumes about him and what he means to me.
I suppose there simply may not be any one answer. That's something I've come to terms with and have accepted. But, it does interest me so greatly to see how this has grown and developed.
Wondering if my draw towards scents is a way of compensating for no longer being able to sense pheromones
Very exciting to have what I've termed a "clinically significant bug moment" and notice that my gender dysphoria became exponentially worse as it happened.
How to describe the indescribable? Pale like moonlight, melancholy and desire perfectly intertwined; no one to tell that I'm here.
