So What You're Telling Me Is That Twilight Is One Legal Technicality Away From Being Ok With It?

this can't be true can it

what if they made an MLP g4 revival in the form of an adult-aimed spinoff, like with Fionna and Cake, where there's mild cussing, bloody violence, and a darker plot?

(and if they incorporate alternate realities, they could make one where Flutterdash is canon)

for Knight Glimmer

me: what if i did a follow up to my twilight/squidward crackship my roommate: yo i have the best idea

Gets to the end of the toilet roll and crushes it against my skull like a can

so i went to my local dollar store the other day nd found these g4.5 pony blind bag thingies for like $3 each

nd first of all lemme tell u, these are not high quality figures, but fuck if i didnt want a little twilight sparkle figure for my desk. so i was reasonable and got only 2 packs instead of All Of Them and figured it was 2 tries at a 1/4 chance, whatever right? best case scenario i get twi and rarity, worst case i get 2 rainbow dash

well as soon as i thought the worst case into existence i KNEW i fucked up. in that moment i was one with the universe and the universe was in my bones and i had tempted fate herself and was going to pay the price

i went home and opened the bags.

and i got 2 rainbow dash.

okay!! fine!!! we’re going to do it this way, are we? like no flame to rd, it just so happens if u have 6 main characters in a show and rank them, one of them is gonna b at the bottom of my list and thats ok! it’s just id really rather have a twilight sparkle figure please and thank you

so i went back to the store a day later and bought 3 more packs. each one a 1/4 chance for twilight sparkle. and as i was walking home i thought to myself:

“man, it’d b funny if this time i got every other figure except for twilight”

well guess what?

i got a rarity, a pinkie, and another rainbow dash :)

i tempted fate again and yknow what? thats on me! fool me once shame on me and all that, i had it coming. so now im here with my 3 rainbow dashes and 0 twilight sparkles and my crippling gacha addiction gene rearing its head for the first time since i managed to quit spending irl money on pngs of anime girls in 2019

i went back to the store.

i bought all the remaining bags they had.

i had 5 more tries. 5 more 1/4 chances to get a twilight sparkle figure. 5 more 1/4 chances to get a SINGLE figurine of my favourite character, and 5 more 1/4 chances to get yet another one of my least favourite.

i figured this time the odds were in my favour. i may have passed stats on a technicality, but at least i figured i’d given myself the best odds i could. and in my hubris i thought to myself:

“at least there’s no way they’re all rainbow dash”

well :)

i clearly hadnt learned my lesson

i’d tempted fate again, and FUCK if she doesnt know how to commit to the bit because,

i walked home from the dollar store.

i opened the last 5 bags.

and all of them were fucking rainbow dash.

(clearly two guys in a horse costume) hello we are (the guy in the back half of the costume catches the slip-up and shoves me) i mean i am a horse and i am so cold and so tired and so hungry could you please let me inside your barn to lie down and eat grains because i am a horse (the guy in the back of the costume shoves me again) i mean neigh

i do not appreciate being trifled with

rainbow dash is done! ALL TOGETHER NOW!

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