I Spent 15 Minutes Looking Up How To Pickle Bodies, And Now That's Stuck In My Search History. Incidentally,

I͙ͥ̈ͥ͑͑ ̰͎̺̝̏̽͂͛ȁ͍͍̱̓͆ͩ̈m̲ͤ̈ͫ ̮̗͓̤͗ͥ̌ṃ̦͎̦͈͙͆̓ͪͩ̎̊aͥ̐n͚͒ͥ̊ͧ̈́y͚̙̻̝̲͔̬͒́͗ͥ́̓͊

̼̞̜̣̗͔͆̃̒͋̑I͕̝̹̯̽̇ ͇͍͌ͬ̓̒a̠͉̜̮ͤ̈́̅͛ͮ͗̚ͅm̺̭͇͕̰̓̇͑̔̅͆ͤ ̳͚̞̰̣̓͂̿̿ͪr̋ͨ͗͒́̎͗a̦̜͕͇̠͋̒̂ͫͦͣ̈vͧ̊̇ͬͬ̉̚e͖̩̙̞̱̼̒͌̉̂̏ͨ̋n͓ͭͭͅͅo̘͚͕̿u͖̜͖̞ͪ̉̋s͕͉̦̝͇̝̗ͭ͗̎̈

̖̘̞̃̐I̝̜̝̬̪͙ͤ͛͒ͥ̊ͤͣ ̺͓̖̤͈̪̒̇̈́̉a̍̍̾̈ͪͤṃ̭͇̟̤ͥ̚ ̲̬͍͙̥̼̓͐g̮͎͉̮̐̇̔̀́̂̾ ̯͛̈̃e̲̪̦͚͍͔ͭ̃͗̾ͩ͆̅ͅ ͚̲͙̺͍̣̟ͮͨ̋̄̽̓̑l̥̟̹͈̣̩ ̠̱̍̄a͍̙͑ ́̅̏ͯͩtͣ̅̈ͥͩ̔ ͈̿ͧ̽ͧ̅ͧi͗̅̈̔̊̿̓ ̩̹͕̳̓ͭṇ̖̟̻͔̽ͫ̄ͨ̿

New reblog game: run your url through the neural blender and post it

The kingdom that used to reign here was very particular about dancing. One day, an architect named Walter Chasse invented a special dance floor such that in order to pass through, one had to literally waltz across the room. If you mis-stepped, a rubber-tipped dart would “helpfully” point out your error. The queen absolutely loved it, and commissioned several for the royal grounds. These dance floors eventually became fashionable among the nobility, who used them in games of political one-upmanship. Eventually, someone had the bright idea to replace the “permissive” rubber-tipped darts for a more “exacting” variety, and the rest is history.

When you enter this room, why does the door shut and lock itself, and why do the walls start to close in very slowly?

Why do we even HAVE that lever?

Back in the day, my old gaming group used to play a game called “why do we even have that lever?”. It works like this:

1. Person A describes a puzzle or trap - the sort of bizarre adventurer-shredding contraption you might encounter in the course of an old-school dungeon crawl that makes absolutely no sense if the dungeon in question was ever supposed to be a facility that people actually used.

2. Person B proposes an explanation for what the “trap” in question is really for - i.e., why it’s not a trap at all, but a totally practical feature of whatever sort of place the dungeon originally was.

3. Person B then describes their own trap to keep the game going.

The only hard rule is that the explanation offered in step 2 absolutely can’t be “it’s a puzzle” or “it’s a trap”; you have to propose some pragmatic function that actually makes sense in the context of the dungeon being the ruins of someplace where people lived and worked. The way it currently works can be justified as a consequence of it having malfunctioned or partially fallen apart, but there has to be some plausible purpose it could have originally served.

For example, I might ask:

“Why is there a room where the entire ceiling is a giant magnet?”

… and you might respond:

“It’s a security checkpoint for the armoury of magical weapons that lies beyond. The presence of the magnet means that weapons can only be safely brought in and out of the armoury using special weighted cases, making it very difficult to steal or substitute items.”

“It’s a laboratory formerly used for experiments involving dangerous creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth. The powerful magnetic field wholly paralyses all but the mightiest earth elementals, allowing them to be studied at one’s leisure.”

“It’s the old Queen’s gaming room. During her reign, a game of strategy involving man-sized stone pieces on a multi-level board had become fashionable. Though most such games required large work crews to move the pieces around, the Queen’s magnetic chamber - in conjunction with large metal bars driven into the core of each piece - allows the pieces to be manipulated by a single person. Many of the pieces still lay scattered about the room, in various states of disrepair.”

Then you’d describe your own trap.

I’ll start us off with a simple (and apropos) one:

Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?

Tags by @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

"clones" identical twins? you are describing identical twins with a birth delay

Plot twist: the Fae of the Well was once part of the same trade, but their mother took home the other child. The Fae was not shocked at being "outwitted", they were shocked to see a mother who could easily tell the two apart, yet loved both children despite the changeling's "quirks".

Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

open the sepulchral septum sepulcher with a speculum.

a citrine cistern full of cyanic cysts

Hmm...

Open the (dismal/gloomy/tomb-like) (thin wall/membrane dividing two cavities or spaces, specifically pertaining to the body) (tomb/grave/burial chamber) with a (medical tool for investigating body orifices. Types include rectal, vaginal, nasal, and oral)

A (golden yellow that may be brownish or orangeish, usually referencing a yellow quartz) (waterproof container for holding liquids, usually either rainwater or toilet water) full of (either blue, or containing the poisonous and flammable gas C²N²) (closed sac-like structures, noticeably different from surrounding cells, that may be filled with semisolid material, gaseous material, or liquid material)

...

Open the gloomy, membrane-covered chamber with a medical device used to view inside your openings.

An orangey-yellow receptacle for holding liquids full of sickly, poisonous flesh sacs

Oh.

... It looks like a pretty tongue twister, but I'm pretty sure it's graphically describing the medical examination of a person with bladder cancer.

you know what is such a nice word? sepulchral. it is just such a pleasing word to pronounce. very soft and smooth. 

Another possibility: what if the accountants' clients were all supernatural creatures of various types, each somehow evading the notice of the rest of the family? A vampire hunter ranting about "pale-faced leeches" while their accountant cousin sneaks away to take a call from "Dr. Acula"

I have a question for the ask game, for the ‘Like, The Worst Family Reunion Ever’. Is the branch of accountants the group that give Danny what he needs to wrangle the rest of the family in, or are they the one part of the family that manages to cause Danny the biggest problem out of all?

Like with the original prompt, there are many ways to go!

For the first, we know that hunters of the supernatural probably aren't completely up front about their taxes, so a good threat could possibly rein them in.

For the second, well, that same fact makes them a real threat, too! Also, we can do fun things like make them accountants for mobsters and such, not just the IRS.

But on the other hand, I think it would also be funny if the accountants' problem was the only one Danny felt neither equipped nor obliged to solve. XD

You're thinking too small. Among Us, the hit new animated series! All the gorn of Happy Tree Friends but with even more merchandising opportunities! Collect all 16 Among Us action figures™

super looking forward to the Among Us movie adaptation

Primary Color Pride. There's the primary colors of light (red, blue, and green), the primary colors of ink (cyan, maroon, yellow), and the apex colors for each (white and black respectively)

what pride flag is this (wrong answers only)

I, apprentice wizard JelloMortality, support my brethren in the skeleton wars!

I JOIN THE SKELETON WAR ON THE SIDE OF THE WIZARDS

NYOHOHOHOHOHO~✨

LINK TO SKELETON WAR GUIDELINES

LINK TO SKELETON SIGN UP (HARRUMPH)

LINK TO OUR SPELL BOOK

LINK TO A COOL DOG

HOW TO PARTICIPATE

1: IF YOU WANT SKELETONS TO ATTACK YOU, COMMENT ON THIS POST ABOUT HOW BLAND AND DULL THEIR ARMOR LOOKS

2: GO OVER TO THE SKELETON SIGN UP POST, INVADE THE INBOXES OF ANYONE WHO MINDLESSLY COMMENTS, AND CAST A SPELL ON THEM (YOU SHOULD USE SPELL SUMMON BEAR)

3: POST ABOUT THE SKELETON WAR AND USE TAGS #skeleton war #skeleton war 2022 AND ALSO #wizardposting #wizard council

4: (OPTIONAL) BLAZE ONE OF YOUR SKELETON WAR POSTS TO ATTRACT MORE RECRUITS. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU LINK TO THE GUIDELINES IN YOUR BLAZED POSTS

You know, I've never really thought about Mother Goose poems in years (outside of references to such), but I'd be baffled and bewildered if someone told me they'd never heard Jack & Jill, or Little Miss Muffet, or Hey Diddle Diddle.

And now that I put this into words, it sounds silly. Of course there's people who haven't heard those rhymes, at minimum anyone who didn't speak English as a child. Now I want to know if other languages/cultures have something similar. Those silly childhood tales that hardly ever get thought of, but almost everyone has heard at least once when they were little.