AU Where Dumbledore Is All Like: I Should Have Known Tom Was Evil. His Mother Date Raped His Father And

Also the fact that there's a little heart by him saying, "Make a pose," meaning that he's into it.

To the people who think Azz doesn't care about Clara

Explain this to me then

Like if you say he only wants pics of Iruma and Clara happens to be there why the hell would he not only want this but want her to pose????

This is more fuel for my Azz is Demisexual headcannon. Like he legit doesn't care about Elizabetta.

AU where Roy Mustang finally realizes that he's a dad and promptly freaks out, which leaves the Elric brothers trying to figure out what The Fuck™ is going on with the Colonel.

Atsushi, to Akutagawa: "I may be a cat, but you'll always be my little meow meow."

Fyodor, gesturing to Nikolai: This is Reginald. He's a purebred doberman. He cost $2000 and I was on a waiting list for two years to get him.

Dazai, tackling Atsushi and Sigma: These are my babies Chonko and F*ck*ss. I found them in a dumpster and I love the more than life itself.

Triton: I have only had my infant demigod half brother Percy for a day-

Tyson: but if anyone hurts him you'd kill them?

Triton: -and he's already uspered my position as dad's favorite, endeared himself to all of sealife on the east coast to the point where they go to him for help instead of me, and-

Amphitrite, swimming by: Aww, are we talking about my second youngest child? He's such a good little fish-

Triton: -STOLE MY MOTHER!

Tyson:

Tyson: But if someone did try to hurt him-

Triton: *sighs*

Triton: Yes Tyson, if someone tried to hurt Percy I would eviscerate them to the point where regeneration is impossible.

You ever become know for something that is so fucking buckwild that you have to take a second and rethink all of your life choices?

Cause I'm apparently the Danpo guy now.

Okay, but hear me out:

Murder baby Damian, but for whatever reason, his first attempt at Tim's life is put on pause, so they never have that interaction. Instead, before Damian can come up with a new plan, Tim (who's kinda excited he now isn't the baby of the family) offers to train him in detective work for when Damian finally gets the mantle of 'Robin' as a way to bond with him.

"Why train your enemy, Drake?"

"We're brothers, not enemies. Besides, Robin has always been a mantle to pass down. I'm certainly not going to keep it in my twenties or thirties. And other than Bruce, I'm the best detective in the family."

"Very well, Drake, I shall accept your tutelage for the time being."

Damian accepts, of course. Not only can he study Drake for his weaknesses, he will also improve his own skill set. It's worth the wait for Robin. By the time Damian's done, there will be no doubt that he is the superior bat.

Unfortunately, he actually grows fond of Timothy. While he will inevitably get close with Richard, just like in canon, Timothy is a breath of fresh air for when Richard is being too overbearing, especially when it comes to things like 'socializing,' and 'making friends.'

When his father dies, and Timothy declared him actually lost to time, Richard doesn't believe him, can't believe him, because the hope is too painful. Timothy still gives Damian Robin, because, "I'm barely holding on as Batman as it is. I can't handle Robin being gone for potentially months at a time, halfway around the world."

During his partnership with Richard, truly becoming his brother-son, Richard introduces the ideas of pets to him. Damian loves animals, and having and taking care of a creature that could potentially survive on its own, but will have a much better quality of life under his care, speaks to him. He has Alfred and Titus and about half a dozen other stray animals that usually stay for about a week while he nurses them to health at any given moment, but he feels like he should officially have another pet.

Que the whole thing with his grandfather, and Timothy getting kicked out of the top of a skyscraper. He comes home with proof, and the Justice League brings his father home. And as Dick basically refuses to let anyone leave the mansion for the foreseeable future, Damian realizes several facts:

1.) Timothy is a human, and humans are animals.

2.) While Timothy has somehow survived until now, he wouldn't recognize self-care if it slapped him in the face.

3.) Timothy's quality of life will improve if someone is taking care of him because he cannot be trusted to do it for himself. (Is it a coincidence that he loses organs when he is away from the family? Damian thinks not.)

4.) Damian has gotten good at taking care of animals.

Ergo, Timothy is now Damian's pet. Tim doesn't know what to do and simply humors him. Besides, it's nice when someone actually bothers to give him a plate of foods that he likes when he gets hyper focused on work and forgets to eat. That, and while he is exasperated every time Damian tranqs him, those are still the best sleeps of his life.

Jason finds it hilarious. Damian doesn't understand Richard or his father's reactions.

"Damian, Tim can take care of himself."

"Barely. Father, now that I am in charge of his sleep schedule, there aren't as many dark circles under his eyes. Even Alfred has commented that Timothy consumes less caffeine."

"Damian, he can't be your pet."

"Why not?"

"Tim's your brother; he's family."

"So are you saying that Alfred and Titus aren't family?"

"Shipping Regulily is the same as shipping Snily."

No, it's not. And here's why:

Snape and Lily started out differently than Regulus and Lily. Snape was her childhood friend. While Lily probably had muggle friends, he was the only one to understand what she was going through when she had bouts of accidental magic. He showed her she wasn't a freak like her older sister was saying. Which is why what happened between them was a betrayal. He was already her friend, and he called her the worst racial slur possible against muggleborns (in public, no less), because he was embarrassed when she stood up for him like the good friend she was. Because it wasn't just about calling Lily names. It was the fact that he thought poorly about muggleborns, and Lily was just the exception.

And instead of taking that moment as a learning experience and turning neutral, at the very least, with the hope that they could restart their friendship if he shows he's actually changed, Snape doubles down. He joins Voldemort and moves up the ranks. There's a train of thought that if Voldemort hadn't killed Lily Potter, then Snape would have remained a death eater, and I agree with it whole-heartedly.

Compare that to Regulus, who was canonically kind to his house elf, a creature most are dismissive of at best and downright abusive to at worst, despite growing up in the Black House with Walburga of all mothers. Would he have ingrained prejudices due to his upbringing? Of course. But he is willing to change, and that is the difference. He sacrificed his life to betray everything his family wanted for him in order to help stop Voldemort.

The best part? He wasn't Lily's friend originally. Their relationship could start of with cool indifference and being coldly polite with each other. It's only after spending time with Lily does Regulus start to critically think about his prejudices. And Lily, who realizes this, is more than happy to show him that there is more to muggleborns and muggles than his family thinks.

Regulily is different than Snily because when Regulily gets together, whether romantic or platonic, Regulus has already faced his internal prejudices. There isn't an undertone of, "I dislike muggleborns, but I like you."

Of course, this is simply my opinion.

Typical role dustribution

One of the saddest things about the Black brothers relationship never improving was the fact that we were robbed of this dynamic duo of brothers who were both morally grey and dramatic as fuck.

Remus, watching as Regulus frantically tries to shove a dead body into a suitcase before the Aurors got there: So.... What'cha got there, Pads?

Sirius: . . .

Remus: . . .

Sirius: A smoothie.

Sirius: *sips strawberry-banana smoothie loudly*