E M P T Y | 1

Flower Curse | 6

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

f i v e

Paperwork. That was the only thing saving you from insanity. And even if paperwork was an utterly nightmare before expeditions, you really didn't mind. There was nothing to do today but finish this work, and when you weren't doing something you drowned in your misery.

How where you going to lead your squad was an enigma right now. But you strongly refused to not go to the expedition and not be present with your squad. No way were you going to let them alone— you must protect them as always, and no curse was going to stop you from your duty as a soldier. No way in hell.

Nevertheless, your health was worse this morning. The first thing you did when you woke up was throwing up the flowers inside; and all of them were full, along with blood on them. This was one of the most hurtful times you vomited— the force was so brutal; as if the flowers were tearing your throat apart. You had a hard time to breathe normally; you had to take deep breaths because you felt something covering your lungs. Your skin was way paler now, your eyes were dull and they didn't look as sparkly as before. You were a little skinnier than yesterday, consequence of your appetite being gone— you couldn't eat the breakfast Hange give you this morning. The only thing you could eat were the cookies Ziegler gifted you.

Maybe these were your last days on earth. Who knows?

Passing your hand through your hair, you let out a heavy sigh, before mumbling to yourself, "I have to take this to Erwin..."

"Yo, Erwin," you opened the door without knocking, not that the blond minded anymore. "These are finished; maybe I will give you the rest in a couple of hours." Approaching him, you placed the papers on his desk, along with all of the pile of papers that were there.

"Good job, [Name]. I wish I could say the same about finishing." Erwin stated, rubbing his temples, "I still have to talk about the strategy with everyone."

"There's nothing you can't handle, eyebrows." You reassured, making him slightly smile, "anyways, where I'm going to be placed?"

The question made the blond frown. He couldn't grasp the idea of you going to the expedition in your current condition— were you really asking that absurd question? Didn’t you notice your worsened health? or were you playing dumb?

Erwin's demeanor changed completely— his relaxed composure changed into a tensed one; the smile from earlier disappeared, leaving a thin line instead. You unconsciously tensed as well, noticing the change of air.

There was a tensed silence, before Erwin spoke again, "What gives you the idea that you are coming?" He asked, looking straight at you with those piercing blue eyes.

Blinking surprised by the sudden change, you recompose yourself and replied, a bit angry, "What do you mean by that? Of course I'm coming!"

Hearing your reply made Erwin's eyes close. The blond really hoped you were going to accept your current condition and stay behind— but he knew that wasn't going to be possible. Your stubbornness was stronger than anything.

He knew this conversation wasn't going to end well— No matter how gently he said it, so he just choose the hard and simple way.

"You are not coming by any means, [Name]. Do I have to remain your current condition?"

You clenched your teeth, "I know very well I'm dying, but this fucking shit it's no excuse to leave my squad with someone else! I'm coming with or without your stupid permission!" You weren't talking right now, you were yelling. Your joking demeanor was completely gone; both of you were glaring at each other.

"You are not coming to the expedition and that's final." He firmly stated, looking straight at you. "Your health will only complicate everything, stop your stubbornness and be an adult."

"Fuck no! I'm coming and you are not stopping me!" You sounded like a child yelling for his toy— you wanted things to go your way, but that was impossible these days.

"I'm your superior and you will obey my orders," he stood up from his seat, making himself look taller than you, "do otherwise and you will be punished."

You hopelessly looked at him. This wasn't what you needed right now— you had to go, you always did! Leaving your squad with someone else wasn't going to happen, you had to be there with them. You were dying anyways, what was the difference?

"You— You can't do this!" you breathlessly pleaded, looking at him with a mix of anger and desperation.

"I just did, Squad Leader [Name]. You are forbidden to go." Even if the two of you were hurt by these words and how the situation turned into, Erwin knew this was the right thing to do. If there was anything 'right' anymore in this world.

You just desperately looked at his icy eyes for any sign of softness, gentleness. But you only were meeting with a cold gaze, so you just tightly swallowed, glaring at him before leaving and loudly slam the door, scaring everyone who was near the office. You ignored the stares and went straight to your office.

The blond only sighed and sat down once again. He rubbed his temples just like moments prior, and tirelessly mumbled to himself,

"What are we going to do..."

Currently you were beyond furious— how dared he forbid you to go?! How dare he talk to you like that! He just couldn't not give you permission to not do something, could he?!

Well, he is the commander, so...

No! He was you friend! Friends should understand each other and not treat each other like a kid, right?

He can if you are acting as one.

Y—You weren't! ...right? You just wanted to go to the expedition, with or without his permission...

Well, yeah, you were acting a little selfish. But! You just are worried for your squad; what was going to happen to them? Instantly, your thoughts were in a deep sea of horrifying futures— images about how everything could go to hell if you weren't there.

Nevertheless, a knock on your door made you snap out of it. Asking who they were, you were greeted by one of your nightmares.

"It's Petra! Can I come in?"

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" You were doing a good job at avoiding the two love-birds— Petra was busy with Levi, so Levi was with her. If we ignore the conflict of yesterday, you hardly talked to them.

And just like a dejavú, you wore your mask and smiled, ignoring the weird feeling on your stomach.

"Petra! Of course, come in!"

The door opened, revealing pretty little Petra wearing a huge smile, a blush covering her cheeks. "[Name]! It’s been time! When was the last time we talked? I have a lot to say!"

"Well, when I spit flowers because of you of course I'm going to avoid you." you grimly thought, showing your fake smile and laugh. "It's been ages, right? As you can see, I'm a little busy right now, so if you can come another time..." you tried to make her away, smiling.

You were repulsed by her. Before, only warm was felt when you talked to her, looked at her— but now you wanted her to be as far as possible from you. Looking at her gentle features only made you furious. The mask wasn't going to take too long to break, it seemed,

"Wait! I've to ask you something maybe important!" she exclaimed, not leaving her smile, "and maybe, you can help me out today..."

"Can't you fucking go away?" you thought. "Tell me, what is it, Petra? It's just all of this paperwork has to be done today." your eyebrow was twitching in annoyance, but your fake smile remained.

Her face lighten up, "Thank you, [Name]!" She approached you and sat down on the chair near your desk, "I want to gift something to Levi before the expedition, but I don't know what to gift... Can you give me ideas?"

You felt a dagger across your heart, along with something rising very slowly. Gritting your teeth, you barely hide your annoyance and reply, "I don't know, Petra... It's just that I'm—"

Petra interrupted you, grabbing both of your hands. Repulsing. "Please, [Name]! You know Levi, what if we go out and see the market together? Just for a moment!"

Stop touching me.

"But, Petra... the paperwork—"

Go away.

"Come on! Help me with Levi! I want to see one of his smiles..."

Leave.

"I'm not—"

Shut up.

"Yes! Let's go right now! Please, do this for me... maybe I can even hug him today..."

CRASH.

Do this for her? Was she fucking stupid? Weren't you dying for her? But of course— she didn't know what.

Something changed inside you. You were done playing games. If everyone had to take a hint to know what was happening to you, then you should reveal your true self once for all.

The mask you wore fell and broke.

Fuck this. Fuck her, fuck him, fuck everyone! Fury consumed your mind, leaving you with nothing but repulsion and anger, and you just gave in.

"Petra, get off of me."

The sudden change in your voice made her look at you in confusion. Your voice changed to a deep one— someone she didn't hear before.

Seeing as she couldn't take a simple order, you hardly took her arm with your free hand and forced her to leave your wrist free.

The woman looked surprised and hurt by the force on her arm, she just looked at you and tried to calm you down, "[Name], is something the matter?"

Yes, you fucking idiot. I want you to leave.

"I think you should leave." You 'gently' said to her, trying to control the anger clouding your mind like fog.

But of course, she couldn't take a simple hint to leave you alone. "No, [Name]— But we have time to go to the market..." Still with her goddamn gift.

"Alright, how can I say this so you can understand..." you rubbed your temples, "Leave."

"What? Come on, [Name], stop playing games! We are wasting time!"

"Are you fucking deaf, Petra?" you glared at her, making her blink in surprise. You have never been like this before, what got into you? And before she could say something, while you could see her didn't do shit, you shouted, "GET THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE!"

But still, she didn't do shit. She just stared at you in surprise; confused and taken aback. What happened to you? The sudden outburst made her stand in shock, not believing your actions to her.

When she didn't move at all when you yelled, you just followed your emotions. Your mind was clouded and you couldn't think properly— so you just fiercely grabbed her by the collar, opened the door and throw her in the hall, making her fall on the floor with a loud noise. Everyone who was in the hall saw it; how you glare daggers at her before slamming the door, scaring everyone by the loud noise. After everyone could understand the situation they just saw, some of them helped Petra to stand, while she still stared in disbelief.

Instantly, you threw up everything. Pink flowers stained with red. Was that… a root?

You were going to be in some deep shit soon.

You honestly thought this day wasn't going to end well. It began in a bad way, and it will end in worse way. So you just waited for your executioner to appear, not caring about the paperwork or the meal time.

You just waited, and so, the devil appeared.

The door opened with a loud noise, it appeared the ravenette forced himself in; seeing his leg up when the door fiercely opened. You weren't surprised at all by his actions— you were waiting for him, after all.

"What the fuck did you do this morning?" you heard him ask, feeling the murderous glare he was giving you.

Your nerves were crazy right now; you could feel an explosion of emotions inside you. If this wasn't the day you were going to die, then surely you would by tomorrow.

"Hey, shithead, I asked you something, and you better answer me." He demanded, slowly approaching your desk like a prey. "Nobody is going to interrupt now; eyebrows is not here, four eyes isn't. So you better fucking talk or I will make you talk."

Knowing him, you better should be talking by now— he didn't make empty promises to anybody, and you knew he was holding back a little. But you were making him impatient, and you believed his patience was running out. Nevertheless, the feelings you had for him were never going to be known by him. Or at least, that was what you foolishly thought.

"I think you know everything by now, Levi." You answered, not scared by his glare or words— you didn't have the strength. And, like you imagined, your answer only made him rile up, slamming his hands on your desk.

"I want to hear it coming out of your goddamn mouth, [Name]. Stop playing your foolish games and answer me!" He practically yelled, and you just looked at him, brows furrowed.

"What do you want me to say?!" You stood up and slammed your hands on the desk just like he did, and yelled, "That I threw Petra out of here because I wanted her to leave?! That I didn't want to hear any more of her talking?! That I don't want to see anybody of you?!"

Just like before, the mask lied on the floor, broken, shattered. There was no mask to wear on, and your true self revealed itself once again.

"What the hell has gotten into you?! Stop being a brat and explain why you hurt Petra!"

Whoever was walking through the hall or near the hall, could hear your yells. It did throw aback a few soldiers who were near; but they know better than interrupt your conflict. But some soldiers couldn't help but pry, and some of them were the newest cadets, Jaeger and Kirchstein, who were walking just by chance.

"You think it's because what happened this morning?" Eren quietly asked, looking at Jean with worry. The taller just frowned, hearing about the rumor going around about you throwing Ral out of your office.

"It may be, you know Petra is a member of Levi's Squad..." He answered, feeling uneasy. The yells were becoming louder by now, and he tried to believe the two of you wouldn't get physical.

"We should go." Eren stated, and Jean nodded. They left, leaving a last glance at your office.

Back to you, the name of her triggered something in your mind.

Petra, Petra, Petra, JUST PETRA. It's because of both of them you are like this! You should just grab your heart and destroy it— that would stop your feelings. That would work.

"Why do you care so much about this?! Why can't you just leave me alone and fuck off!"

"I care about you, you worthless shit! Doesn’t your head understand it?!"

"Stop saying that! What happens to me is none of you fucking business!"

"It is my business, idiot! Answer me already! Why are you like this!?"

He wants to know? Then he will. He will know he is killing you. He is.He isHeisHeisHeisH

eisHeisHeisHeisHeisHeisHeisHe

isHeisHeisHeisHeisH

eis

Something snapped, and you cried out.

"I love you, you piece of fucking shit!" you gasped for air, only to scream the confession again, "I fell in love with you!"

The truth was out.

The realization of what you just said hit you, and you covered your mouth immediately, eyes widened in disbelief.

Levi was as surprised as you were, seeing him with his eyes widened, not saying a word.

The room was filled with silence. Neither of you could say anything by the sudden confession— minutes prior you were yelling at each other, but now the office was quiet.

And just as you tried to fix the mess you just said, Levi quietly asked, "You... what?"

Gulping, you tried to lie— say anything but the truth. But your feelings were out now, he heard it. There was no option but to talk with the truth.

"I—I'm in love with you." You confessed, avoiding his gaze.

"Since when?"

You tightly swallowed, and replied, "Since the first time I saw you."

Maybe he didn’t know how to approach this situation; maybe he was trying to think a better way to tell you he didn’t feel the same way as you did. You talked first, interrupting any thoughts he was having.

“I know— I know you don’t feel the same.” You tried to think clearly, but it was impossible. “I know you love someone else, Levi. I know, so, I… I get it.”

“[Name], I…”

“Don’t talk, please.” Meeting his gaze again, you could recognize confusion, unsureness on his expression. He was lost. “It’s better this way.”

“How do you know that? How can you know what I want? You are—”

“Because you love Petra. I’m not blind." You noted his composure shifted; he was surprised by your statement. You just smiled with bitter, feeling heartbroken. The flowers wanted an exit, and you knew if he didn’t leave right now he would see them, and you didn’t want that at all.

There. Accept it. You are going to ——, so just accept your fate.

“What do you mean—“

“I’m not an idiot. I saw you holding hands— hugging each other! I know everything!” You were getting riled up, irritated by the situation. You wanted to be alone already— he knew the truth, so there was nothing else to say. “Leave already!”

“I’m not leaving until we—“

“LEAVE! I want you out!” you shouted, pushing him out of the room like a kid would. But like you expected, he wasn’t going to leave so easily. He stood himself with the door frame, while you still were pushing his back.

“Stop acting like a goddamn brat!” he yelled, trying to control the current situation, but was unable to do so with you yelling and pushing like a child. He wanted to fix everything— but somehow deep in him, he knew this relationship you had was broken already. Both of you did.

“No! I don’t want to talk no more! I’m telling you to leave!” Trying your best to hold the flowers, your hands were trembling, your face was flustered and you were clenching your teeth. He had to leave now.

“I’m telling you, you little shit—“

A soldier hurriedly came, and taken aback by the situation in front of him at first, he quickly recovered himself and said:

“Corporal! The commander is asking your presence right now!”

Levi was irritated, giving the poor soldier a glare everyone was terrified by. The man just gulped, and explained, “The commander wants you quickly, sir!”

“Can you tell him to fuck off? I’m busy right now.” The ravenette spit out, frowning at the unlucky soldier.

“Sir! He says it’s an important matter!”

“Fuck eyebrows, shit…” he muttered, before leaving his hands off the door frame and gave you a look, “You and I aren’t finished.” And then, he left with the unnamed soldier.

You quickly shut the door and throw up. Your body was trembling, and you had to hold yourself with the desk to bear the pain. The force was harder than hours prior, it felt as knifes were cutting your throat. Your eyes were cloudy— but you could see red on the pink flowers. And also, roots. It was like these awful things were blooming inside you— it was scary.

Finally, you could gasp for air once more. You just stared at the horizon, trying to catch your breath. You sat on the floor, with flowers all around you.

Your throat was sore; you were tired and unsure about the future.

Slowly, you tried to stand up, holding the desk for support. Sitting on you chair; you opened a drawer, revealing a little brown book.

Sighing, you said to yourself, “I think it’s time to read it.,, Right, Darla…?”

First page.

It was written pretty sloppy, like a child write.

Barry and I played on the garden of Clarence today. The woman gave us permission to play, so we did!

We made flower’s crowns, lied on the grass and watch the clouds go by. It was very peaceful!

I like Barry. I hope we can get married when we grow older!

Tomorrow I’m turning ten, and I’m super excited of what Barry will gift to me!!!!

You looked grimly at the page. You felt as you were intruding her secrets— but Barry gave this to you for a reason, right? Even so, the small feeling on your gut told you to stop reading the thoughts of this poor girl.

But you ignored it, and continued.

At the next page, Darla wrote Barry’s name with hearts around it.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡♡♡♡Barry and Darla♡♡♡♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Flipping the page, you read about Barry gifted his favorite book, and Darla was happy about the gift.

The next pages were the same, thoughts about Barry and her love for him.

Strangely, after some pages the writing style changed to a very elegant one; you came to the conclusion Darla grew up and forgot about the journal, seeing the sudden change of writing.

I was foolish.

I thought we could be together. I was dumb and stupid for believing so.

He never loved me, and he will never do.

I saw Lisa and Barry kissing each other! They are lovers!

Nobody told me anything— I had to see it with my own eyes.

I ran to my house, what else could I do? Telling him I love him when he is with someone else? I can’t do that. I can’t.

The page ends there. You turn another one, just to see an erratic writing.

i’m scared

I’m throwing up flows

Why?

Mom said it’s a curse, that one a very ffwe peple have this

Why im so unlucky????? Hy did I do to desrve this?

Somebody, help me

Im scared

Please, I don’t want to die like this

The page had dark small spots— you believed it was from tears stained by the paper.

This was heartbreaking. You could feel her pain— you could understand it perfectly.

Another page. This time the writing was more collected.

I threw up a lot of flowers today.

They were white.

I’m scared.

I want my mother.

I need my mother.

Mom…

Next page.

Mother explained I have this curse because I love Barry, and he doesn’t love me back.

Something bloom inside my heart? Or something like that, I’m not sure.

How does she know that? She didn’t answer me.

I hate Barry now.

But I love him, too.

Hahahaha. What a fool.

HhhahahahaahahhahahahahhahahhahahhhhahahahhahahahahahhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Next page.

flowers again.

white

red

Next,

Why me?

Why?

Why me?

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? Whywhywhywhywhwywhywhwywhwywhywhwywhwyhwyw

Mother mom mommy…

Next.

I can’t leave the house.

Mom doesn’t allow it, and I don’t want to see Barry.

Stupid, dumb, idiot Barry.

Handsome, funny, Barry…

There’s no help for me.

Mother says a Doctor will come.

Next.

The doctor came, and said he wasn’t sure what was this.

I opened my mouth and he tried to see inside, and whatever he saw it made him scared.

The doctor and my mother talked outside, and I could hear the cries of my mother.

I’m going to die.

Im going to die

I ing o d

[Intangible]

D I n g

M o m

e lp m

s m b d y p e s e h e l p

[Intangible]

You gulped, and flipped the page.

The page made you uneasy, seeing how messy the handwriting was, and how everything was a mess.

IM GONNA DIE

M H E R

SOME B D Y

E L P

F L

O W R S

IN M

Y

L U N GS

C A NT B R

E T

MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMO

Next.

flowers very pretty

mom loves flowers

pretty little flowers

flowers little pretty

little flowrs orsfj

flowersfloweesaldkirwdfkwierskfiwrsfkiwrflowerslfowrsaskj

Next.

barry i miss you

please love me

Next,

little unlucky girl

who is the unluckiest of them all?

Hahahahaha

Its darla

Next.

my throat is hurt

i spit blood

its hard to breathe

Next.

[a drawing of a sunflower]

sunflowers are pretty

I hope I can throw up some

Hhahaha

Next.

I

C N T

B R A H

M OM M M Y

MOTHER

MOM

H L P E

L A SE

F LOWER S

H LP H U TS

[Blood stains]

Turning the page, you were meet with a blank page. You flipped it, trying to find another journal, but there was nothing. That was the last page she wrote.

You slowly closed the journal, leaving it in the drawer.

You just stared at nothing in particular— trying to shake the mortifying feeling. You were scared, scared of what would happen to you by tomorrow.

You weren’t scared— you were terrified,

You could feel something clogging your throat, making you unable to breathe properly. The feel was stronger after your talk with Levi.

Holding your head with both of your hands, you calmed yourself, not shading a tear. There were not tears left— it was enough.

No one came for you, and you didn’t look for anybody.

s e v e n

I have read it and it’s awesome! (So are your other series)

Oh my thank youuu!!! 😭😭😭😭 im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ♡

Reiss Mental Asylum / 3

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

3

“There’s a small break every time your sessions finish. We’ll go to our office, so remember the path we take, alright?” Zeke says, looking at [Name]. The said boy just nods in return, enough for Zeke. “By the way, it seems that Armin likes you.”

“Really? He seems really nice…” [Name] says, smiling, “I’m glad he let me talk to him.”

“Yeah… he looked unsure about you at first, but it’s surprising how he changed.” The blond looks deep in thought, before proceeding, “I think you are the first person he talked freely like that.” He scratches his ear, thinking. Armin wasn’t very fond of Zeke that much— even if he was one of his doctors, he knew the short blond didn’t fully trust him. But, seeing as [Name] —who is new in the area— instantly clicked with him made Zeke wonder how many surprises the [hair color]-haired would bring.

Both males pleasantly talked— [Name] seemed comfortable talking to Zeke, and said man enjoyed hearing the other’s male voice. It was pleasing — something he wanted to hear everyday. Zeke noted the young man had a peaceful aura that calmed him, seeing as [Name] was a bag of nerves at first glance, the boy looked surprisingly calm now. It made the blond steal some glances to look at his gentle features — without the other noticing, of course.

Eventually, Zeke stopped in front of a door, which it had a small frame with the name of ’Dr. Zeke Jaeger’ on it. The blond opened the door, revealing a neat and simple office. There was only one desk with a chair, bookshelves, a lamp, a window… Nothing out of the ordinary.

“There’s only one desk, so we’ll have to share.” Zeke stepped into the room, with [Name] shyly walking behind him, “There isn’t much. I place the patient’s files here, other important documents there…” The man approached the desk, opened a drawer and look for something in it— his fingers touched the multiple folders, until he finally found two he was looking for. “I will give you the patient’s files, but not all of them. I don’t want to stress you this much— so don’t get nervous, alright?”

“S–Sure! Thank you, Dr. Jaeger,” [Name] gently said, smiling by the other’s kindness. “And sorry for you having to share your office, I will try not to occupy too much.” He added, with a deep pink growing on his gentle cheeks.

Zeke just laughed, “I already told you; I don’t mind sharing with you. I will make space for you, but for now hand me anything you want me to take, I will take care of it.”

“Alright, thank you again… I–I hope I can learn a lot from you.” [Name] states, looking a little embarrassed, making the other man smile seeing his shy form.

I look forward on learning a lot about you too…

“I will try to help you as much as I can, [Name].” Zeke reassured, taking a look at his watch, “it seems we still have some time left. We’ll take some fresh air, if you agree?” He looks at the other male with a small smile.

“Of course!”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

The two of them were sitting on a bench, outside the building. There were some patients on the gardens with some bodyguards and doctors observing them. Zeke had explained some patients had the privilege thanks for their backgrounds and history in the asylum, allowing them to going outside and do gardening for their therapy— [Name] had wondered what he meant by ’backgrounds’, but decided not to ask.

Zeke was smoking a cigarette, and [Name] just peacefully observed the patients from afar. The older man couldn’t stop himself to look at the other young man— he observed the softness of his beautiful face; how peaceful his eyes looked; how his [hair color] hair gently moved by the wind. [Name]’s body seemed relaxed— and Zeke couldn’t pinpoint the exact motive of why his full attention was on the other male; why he was taking a unexpected interest on him.

“Do you live far from here?” Zeke suddenly asked, pushing his glasses. The blond had many questions for the young man— and he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

The sudden question made [Name] slightly jump, alerted. Looking at the blond, [Name] quickly replied, “Y–Yes. I don’t have a car, so the bus brings me here— one hour and thirty minutes.”

Zeke furrows a brow, “Is that so? And how did you find this place anyways?”

“I found the ad on the newspaper, and well…” [Name] scratches his cheek with his index finger, smiling, “this was the only place that called me. I’m glad though, it seems nice.”

He has no clue about what he got himself into. Zeke hummed, taking a last glance at [Name]. Changing his attention to his watch, the man spoke, “we have five more minutes. I should tell you about the next patient.” The blond handed the folder, which [Name] took. “His name is Jean Kirstein. He made some… bad choices in the past,” Zeke explained, clearly leaving something out, “His best friend was killed, and that made him change for the worst. Jean can be harsh with his words– he can easily get provoked, too.”

Zeke stands, turning at [Name], “let’s go.”

。。。。。。。。。

The death of Jean’s best friend left a huge impact on the young boy— Zeke had explained Jean saw the corpse of what was left of his friend. Jean has night terrors in most of the nights. The taller man didn’t exactly tell [Name] what the patient did in the past, and the young boy couldn’t really take a hint. Zeke could see how oblivious [Name] was, and he thought it was for the better.

“Here we are. As you know, I will see everything if anything goes wrong,” he says, already leaving. But suddenly stops, as if he remembered something not that important, hearing his uninterested voice tone, “also, don’t be surprised if he’s handcuffed. Good luck.”

H—Handcuffed?! [Name] was taken aback by the comment— why would a patient be handcuffed? Was he aggressive? The young man really didn’t know what to expect, so with no much thought he opened the door, instantly noticing a young man around his age sitting, looking irritated. And indeed, he was handcuffed.

“Great. Another fucking useless doctor.” The two-toned haired boy snorted, “don’t even try with me, pretty boy. I don’t care about any of your bullshit.”

[Name] cheeks slightly blushed by the given name, but hurriedly calmed himself. The young man knew there would be not too kind people, but that didn’t make him upset. He was going to do his best and help his patients.

The [hair color]-haired boy just smiled, sitting across the other boy. Jean just looked weirdly at him— normally, his doctors’ expressions were irritated or uncaring, but this person showed a gentle smile. Huh. Weird.

“But I will try my best! I don’t give up easily, you know?” [Name] spoke, unbothered by the other snarky comments, “I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger assistant. What’s your name?”

Jean snorted, “I believe you already know my name, doctor. No point playing dumb with me.” He took notice of the assistant’s face– it didn’t change, he could see [Name] wasn’t getting irritated or mad, just like the others. The [eye color]-eyed just kindly smiled.

“Well, I would like to hear it from you. It makes things official!”

“You are not giving this up, are you?”

“Nope!”

The patient sighs, relaxing his composure. “Jean.” Was the only thing he said— weirdly enough, Jean could see he was an interesting fellow. [Name]’s introduction actually made him aware that the assistant may or may not be… too kind. And his pretty looks really didn’t give away much contradiction to his conclusion.

Yup, this one is perfect for teasing. Better take the chance.

“Nice to meet you, Jean! This session is only for intro–”

“Hey, [Name],” Jean interrupted, with a smirk on his face, “can I ask something?”

“Sure, ask away.”

“If you are Jaeger’s assistant, does that mean he can fuck you all he wants? I mean, the man has to have his needs, and you being his pretty assistant sounds fishy enough to me.”

[Name]’s face was priceless. All of his face instantly went deep red. The young assistant never heard something like this addressed to him— and it was absolutely embarrassing. Even if he knew Jean was only playing with him, that didn’t mean [Name] couldn’t get flustered.

Jean couldn’t hold his laugh seeing the distressed state of the assistant. [Name] was blabbering, trying to deny the dirty joke with no avail. Oh shit, is he a virgin? This is better than I thought! Finally something funny is happening in this disgusting place!

Thinking about it, Jean really didn’t mind anymore if this cutie was going to be his doctor. He could see every session embarrassing the young assistant, looking at his flustered state. Yes, he couldn’t wait for more opportunities to make him blush.

“O—Of course not! Please hold yourself on doing comments like that, Jean!” [Name] finally spoke, his soft cheeks still red. “Dr. Jaeger and I are not like that in any way!”

Jean laughed, he couldn’t believe he finally had a chance to be with someone like this. Surely, he will take every chance he gets. “I was just saying, pretty assistant. Come on, I just said fuck, it isn’t that bad.”

“Just don’t say things like that. That came out of nowhere!”

After that, both of them could normally talk, relieving [Name]. The sexual comment did threw him off, but hoped there weren’t going to be more situations like that in the future. They just talked— [Name] did most of the talking, and Jean just reluctantly answered, leaving some snarky comments here and there. The two toned haired patient was bored with the conversation, but answered nevertheless.

A knock on the door made [Name] realize it was time to leave. Standing up, the [hair color]-haired spoke, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Jean. I will see you next week!” [Name] sent a smile to the other boy.

Jean was indifferent about the talking session, but surely, making his new doctor embarrassed was going to be one of his obligatory tasks. He would think on more things to say— he couldn’t wait for next week to come. Jean remembered the assistant’s blushed face— how embarrassed he looked. 

That, was a sight he wanted to see again.

He surely was going to have fun with him.

。。。。。。。。。。。

“That was an interesting session.” Zeke broke the silence, noticing [Name]’s embarrassing demeanor. Surely, he knew Jean could get dirty with his comments– but he really didn’t expect something like that. The blond actually chuckled in amusement seeing [Name] flustered behavior.

[Name] just hummed, playing with his fingers. He was suddenly flustered seeing Zeke after that sexual comment, and he couldn’t stop a blush appearing on his face.

Zeke wasn’t sure if joking would be a good idea, but he couldn’t stop himself from teasing the [hair color]-haired boy.

“Tempting idea— I see myself considering it in the future. Just to let you know, assistant.”

[Name] ’s face couldn’t get any more redder.

E m p t y / 5

[ shingeki no kyojin x male reader ]

【 male!various x male!amnesiac!reader 】

[Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches.

Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face?

Masterlist

chapter five — new memories [1.3]

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was one of their usual tasks— bring wood and herbs for Mr. Jaeger. It was a job for Eren and [Name], as Mikasa helped Miss Carla and Beatrice with pastries and baking bread in [Name]’s mom house. Everyone was pleased how nice the relationship between Eren and [Name] turned out— no more fighting but the occasional comments [Name] had to say to stop Eren’s angerish behavior. Surprisingly, they actually could notice how the brunette liked his company, and always wanted to stay at his side. The two women could notice when Eren was being scolded by [Name], he just blushed and averted his face, as if he was embarrassed of his actions.

It was somehow irritating for [Name]. As you could tell, he wasn’t fond of Eren’s voice— it was loud and annoying. He preferred staying with Mikasa or Armin, as their voices were less noisy than Eren’s. Obviously, this was an unusual conflict within the two: [Name] being vocal about his annoyance, and Eren being angry about it.

Eren liked [Name]— it was a fact. Carla and Beatrice could see that so clearly, even if the brunette tried to deny it so desperately. It was a huge change from their beginning— it was actually strange how Eren’s behavior changed when [Name] scolded him, but when Mikasa did it he angered. As Beatrice believed, [Name] was unaware of Eren’s feelings and didn't pay much attention to him. He too denied Eren felt something for him, and just was being the usual ‘hot-head’ he was.

But their differences weren’t always present— they genuinely liked each other and were good friends. [Name] didn’t hate or disliked Eren but the opposite: the amnesiac boy admired how strong and determined he was. It was just his loud voice that made his ears suffer. Nevertheless, [Name] sometimes tried to bear with it and spent time with Eren, and the brunette tried his best to not be ‘noisy’.

But back to the present— Fortunately, Dr. Grisha didn’t say when he wanted the herbs, and neither he looked impatient or urged for them. The two boys decided to rest a little bit in the small woods, the air was fresh and it was surprisingly relaxing there, as no one but them were there. The two carefully placed the bottles full of herbs on the grass before lying on the ground, looking at the sky. [Name]’s eyes sheepishly looked at the clouds, while Eren eyed him, he being unaware of it.

“Say, [Name]...” Eren spoke to get his attention, in which the other hummed in response, “do you think... we could see the ocean together one day...?” He asked with a blush on his face, looking at the other side to hide his embarrassment.

[Name] blinked, still not looking at him. “What’s with the sudden question? The four of us promised we would.” [Name] felt relaxed, blinking slowly. Letting out a yawn, he rubs his eyes, shifting to a more comfortable pose to sleep, not paying much attention on what the other has to say.

“That’s not what I mean...” Eren frowns, unaware of [Name]’s sudden tiredness. “I mean that... maybe we could...” he blushed deeply, unable to explain his feelings. He’s not good at feelings, and when he had never felt something like this before, this is hard for him. Even more when the one you have interest on doesn’t even likes you that much. “I want to see it with you... right at my side.” His whole face is painted in red— he plays nervously with his hands.

The lack of response made Eren impatient. Looking at the side, he noticed [Name] had fallen asleep by the low snoring that could be heard. At first, the brunette felt irritated and angry— as usual, [Name] wasn't paying attention to him. He even tried to not be so loud, and [Name] didn't even care about it! He didn't want to accept the small glint of jealously he felt when the [color haired] boy preferred to be with Mikasa or Armin, but him! Annoyed, the boy crossed his arm and averted seeing the sleeping boy, pouting.

Sighing, the boy lies on the grass, watching the sky. “I’m not that loud...” he speaks to himself, turning to see [Name] with narrowed eyes. The boy lies peacefully, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes, both hands tangled over his stomach. Why did he liked [Name] that much? At first he couldn’t stand him— but seeing him... hurting the way he was before, it made him feel... upset and dirty. His guilt was a major factor of his change, and somehow, interacting more with [Name] and knowing him more and more made him interested and curious on him.

He likes him, that’s the truth.

Sitting, the brunette gets closer to [Name]’s form, looking at his face, focusing on him. Eren can’t help himself and slowly leans forward [Name]’s face, Eren’s own heartbeat raising. Gulping, he closes his eyes, hands shaking by his nervousness. He gently kisses the soft lips, deep crimson painting his cheeks. Eren feels... joy as he answers his curiosity, but soon he becomes worried and scared as he feels [Name]’s body shifting. Immediately the brunette breaks the small kiss, almost falling on his back by he sudden separation. He covers his mouth with his hands as he nervously looks at the [hair color] haired blinking sheepishly, looking around and spotting him besides him.

“Eren...? Did I fall asleep...?” [Name] asks as he rubs his eyes, yawning. Stretching, he notices Eren’s quiet and unusual behavior. “Is something wrong...?”

“Uhm— No! E–Everything’s fine! We should get going.” Eren hastily speaks as he gets up and takes the wood and bottles, signaling [Name] to hurry up too. The amnesiac boy blinks confused, but soon stretches and gets up too. He takes the herbs and the wood on his back and waits for Eren to begin walking. Surprisingly, Eren takes his hand wihout warning.

“E–Everything ready?” Eren gulps as he speaks, looking at [Name] with a blush on his cheeks. He pleads in his mind for [Name] not to reject him— to stay like this just for this moment. His heartbeat raising as he sees the amnesiac boy blinking, not giving his thoughts away— Eren has always watched how expressionless [Name] can be. The brunette holds his breath until [Name] answers.

“Yes. Let’s go.” [Name] nods while speaking, walking ahead hand in hand with Eren. By Eren’s surprise, the [hair color] haired boy tangles his fingers with Eren’s, making the brunette’s heart skip a beat. [Name]’s face is the same— serene and calm, while Eren’s is a messy crimson.

They met Hannes in the way back, and the blonde soldier can catch how red Eren is. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the unusual scene of them being like this— gaining a ‘what are you laughing at?!’ from Eren, and another scolding from [Name], ‘don’t yell like that.’ making the brunette shut his mouth immediately. Hannes was actually impressed by such interaction— not even Carla nor Mikasa were capable of holding this little ball of anger from acting recklessly.

The walk between the two was unexpectedly calm, as both of them talked about what they will have for dinner. Eren’s face had a big grin, happy by how things turned out.

ahh i dont really have anything specific to request, just wanted to know (and for other folks who come across ur blog) :,) hope to see more from u in the future 💖💖💖

thank you so much!!! ;0; i’m so happy!

have an amazing day/night! ;v;

Reiss Mental Asylum / １0

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

"Please, faster~!"

A moan is heard— skin against skin, grunts, gasps. He tightly grabs [Name]'s legs, holding them up. The tight hold leaves bruises, but the smaller man doesn't care— it feels so good, pain and pleasure feels wonderful, a bliss.

"So tight... Fuck!" He grunts, hastening the pace, making his love moan loudly, saying his name between his whines. The sound only makes him excited and messy, as he shifts [Name]’s body to thrust him deeper. The pretty boy whines by the sudden stop. He makes him lay on his side, raising his leg up as he forcefully enters him again without notice, making [Name] arch his back in pleasure as he feels his sweet spot being abused.

“Say my name. Scream it— tell me you are mine.” He demands, his movements less gentle and more dominant. His hold pressing harder the soft skin, making it red. The petite boy moans his name between his whimpers, unable to say something else by the amount of pleasure he’s feeling. That doesn’t satisfy him, as he stops his thrust deep inside [Name]. “I won’t move until you say it, love.”

The smaller male pleads, saying his name, but as much he loved hearing and seeing such gorgeous display, he is desperate of hearing who he belongs to; who he is allowed to be touched by.

“I—I belong to you... I’m yours...” [Name] barely speaks, patting loudly. His teary eyes and flustered face only makes him riled up, and without warning his fast pace awakens. The pretty boy moans, saying he won’t last long.

His’ eyes express possessiveness, but something darker can be caught in them. He only has eyes on him— enjoying every bit of his beautiful form being marked by him and no one else. He was truly his, forever. “I love you so much...”

He shifts [Name]’s body on his chest on the bed, harshly holding his hips bruising them instantly. He can catch between his love’s moans and whimpers saying he will come, unable of formulating words by his current state. He smirks, hugging protectively the smaller form, hardly taking his chin to turn at him and kiss him roughly, [Name] moaning his name between the heat up kiss as both come together.

And then, he wakes up abruptly by the sound of an alarm. Grunting irritated, he sits on the edge of the bed with a clear bulge on his pants. He looks at it irritably, but then remembers the sweet dream he had with his beautiful [Name], changing his upset expression with a smirk.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Hello, Bertholdt! Hope you are having a nice morning!” [Name] smiled brightly as he opened the door of his cell room. The patient’s face instantly brightened as he heard the angelic voice of his beautiful doctor. “According to our schedule, today we are gardening. It’s my first time doing it, so please excuse me if I do a mess!”

Bertholdt blushed deeply, unknowing what to say or do. A big contrast of his behavior the other day. [Name] could notice his awkwardness, as he chuckled a little as he approached him but still gave him space. “Did you have breakfast already?” The assistant gently asked, receiving a nod for an answer. He clapped his hands, grinning, “okay then! Let’s go.”

[Name] lend his hand, waiting and wondering if Bertholdt would take it. The taller male, who was still sitting on his bed, felt unsure at first. He felt his heart was going to explode by just being this near around him. Gulping, he shakily took the gentle hand, making [Name] smile. The brunette stood and followed [Name] as he guided him outside the room.

The assistant locked the door and walked alongside the patient, hand in hand. There was a silence [Name] didn’t mind, he talked about anything and everything as he just greeted with a nod the various workers he passed in the way. Bertholdt just nervously looked at the floor, his cheeks blushed in scarlet as he sometimes stole a few glances on the assistant.

He was utterly in love with him— he was gentle and nice to him. He couldn’t believe he was holding hands with him! The assistant made him feel like... a normal person. When he was normal and felt loved. When Bertholdt thought he was going to die in this horrible place, [Name] appeared just like an angel, brightening his path. He was beautiful, gorgeous, pretty...! The brunette couldn’t think more things to describe him, as there couldn’t be explained with words.

[Name] turned to see him with a smile, and the brunette blinked in surprise and look away instantly. The assistant was going to say something, but someone caught his attention, as Bertholdt didn’t feel his gaze on him no more.

“Hey, Vincent!” [Name] greeted happily, instead of just greeting this stranger with just a nod, like everyone else he was greeting. “How’s your morning going?”

“Amazing now that I saw you.” Vincent stated with a grin, making [Name] slightly blush and shake his head with a small smile. The guard felt warm and happy as [Name] didn’t reject his “compliment”.

On the other hand, a certain patient was disgusted by the scene. A frown was plastered on his face, and he was grabbing [Name]’s hand a little too tight. Who was this disgusting devil?

The assistant could feel the sudden change on Berhtoldt demeanor quickly. “W-Well, Berhtoldt and I were going to the garden— see you later, Vincent.” [Name] offered an apologetic smile as Vincent could see the glare the patient was giving him— more like a deadly glare.

“You sure? I mean, I can accompany you…” He stole some looks at the taller patient, who face was darkened in a... unsettling way.

“Don’t worry! Bertholdt and I are going to be perfectly fine!” He chuckled nervously, already walking away from Vincent as he waved with his free hand. Vincent only stared with narrowed eyes as they left, the tall patient’s darkened face still on him.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“You don’t have to worry, you know? Vincent is a great guard and seek for our protection, including yours.”

Bertholdt remained with his frown, not believing that statement at all. That was a lie— sometimes the guards crossed their boundaries and beated them more than they were allowed when they had their breakdowns.

They deserve what happens to them.

They were disgusting devils; all of them. They didn’t deserve to touch his angel with their nasty hands.

[Name] gently squeezed his hand, taking his attention. Bertholdt’s glare was still present, his body tensed. The assistant knew his’ thoughts were on the guards, so he thought switching the current topic to their current task would be a nice move.

“Let’s go water the plants! Maybe you can show me which are you taking care of.” He showed a warm smile, walking deep into the garden hand in hand with Bertholdt. He could feel the grip softening, and seeing his shoulders relax made [Name] let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t know how Berthtoldt’s outbursts were like— but he imagined they weren’t easy to handle. He was taller and stronger for him— breaking him would be as easy as breaking a branch.

[Name] shuddered at the thought. Bertholdt looked unsurely at him, confused. “Hehe, I think is a little cold here!” [Name] tried to dismiss.

Fortunately [Name] wasn’t going blind to the ‘gardening therapy’. Zeke had explained to him what the usual stuff the patients had to do; usually doctors didn’t intervene, they were there to take notes and observe. [Name] was unsure to follow that.

Basically, patients have plants they care of. This to reduce their stress and anxiety— unfortunately, some patients weren’t fond of doing these sessions. But fortunately, Bertholdt was interested in them.

The two of them took two flowers— a sunflower and a red rose. As this was going to be his first time in gardening, [Name] wanted to share the same occupation as Berhtoldt in helping taking care of the flowers. The assistant could see the surprise in the brunette’s face— the patient was used to his doctors being silent through the whole thing.

He was really precious, wasn’t he?

Both of them kneeled whit the flower in their hands. But Bertholdt wasn’t giving any attention to the flower— his attention was for [Name]. His beautiful smile, his soft gaze... he was perfect. A perfect angel sent just for him.

“I adore you.” Bertholdt spoke, loud enough for the other to hear.

“Uh?” Turning confused, [Name] was met with something warm on his lips— Bertholdt’s ones. The taller male hold [Name]’s face with both hands and closed his eyes, while the assistant’s eyes were widened and froze in shock.

This wasn’t like the small peck he received before— no, Bertholdt was going in. His tongue played with his’, and even if the kiss felt more passionate, it was inexperienced and... gentle, in some way.

[Name] blinked repeatedly before trying to make space between them to break the kiss before they would be seen. His hands were on Bertholdt’s chest, but he wasn’t buying it. Between quick interruptions to take air, [Name] whimpered and tried to speak, but it seemed his pattings and ‘questionable’ noises only made Bertholdt more excited, returning to kiss him.

Fortunately [Name] turned his head to the side, making Bertholdt kiss is cheek instead. The assistant’s lips were red and swallowed, and his chest heaves as he tried to breathe. Unluckily, the taller male kept kissing his neck, sending shivers to [Name] spine. He felt excitedly ticklish, trying to silence any gasp or whimper wanting to get out. He tried to make Bertholdt stay away, but the patient was stronger than him.

“Please, Bertholdt! You need to stop!” The assistant pleaded, uncomfortable and worried. It didn’t seem Bertholdt was listening to him— his big hands traveled to his face to his waist, holding him in place while kissing his neck while whispering things he couldn’t understand. [Name] didn’t want to be found like this! “Someone is going to see us! Please, listen to me!” Memories about a certain blonde saying he wouldn’t be as forgiving came to his mind, growing his worry.

Bertholdt become very affectionate for some reason, ignoring him. [Name] had to wake him up in some way before they were caught and punished. Placing both hands on Bertholdt’s face, the assistant tried to make him focus on him and stop his actions, which l gave him exactly what he wanted: Bertholdt’s attention.

Olive eyes stared and him widely, body froze in place. It was as if the roles had switched. With a crimson color present of his cheeks, [Name] pecked Bertholdt’s nose and gently spoke, “this isn’t right, Bertholdt. We could be in big trouble if we’re found like this.” He tried to reason, a frown on his face.

“But—But I... love you... you—you are my savior, [Name]!” He pleaded, grabbing [Name]’s hands with his own. His eyes widened, getting closer to his face. [Name] gulped, blinking repeatedly. He was absolutely embarrassed and slightly aroused from the sudden action. It wasn’t everyday someone kissed you like that, someone you help, to be certain. But he had to keep his cool, even if his insides were screaming and squirming.

“I appreciate you too, Bertholdt. But you have to understand what you’re doing isn’t right. You don’t want to hurt me, right?” The brunette hastily nodded his head like a child, a sad look on his face. [Name] smiled, “and I don’t want you to get hurt either. Let’s stand up.” The brunette unsurely at first let go off [Name] and stood, lending a hand on the assistant who took it.

[Name] shaked off any dirt on his clothes and helped the other too. Sighing in relief, he thanked Berhtoldt to be this easy to talk to— he really was worried about what could happen if he was seen like that. And not for his well being, but for Bertholdt’s. Yes, the kiss was something he didn’t want at all— being kissed like that without wanting it was… reminding him of something he didn’t want to remember. But [Name] wasn’t angry at Bertholdt, when he looked at that pleading eyes he saw... a frightened child. Was it wrong?

“Okay then, let’s plant them!”

The brunette felt butterflies on his stomach. He wasn’t harsh nor rude to him— in some way, [Name]’s touches reminded him of his mother. The love of his mother… love… gentleness…

Bertholdt smiled, realizing what he really felt while hearing [Name]’s chattering.

FLower Curse | 7

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

s i x

Seeing everyone was getting ready with their gear made you anxious. You wanted to go with them— to protect your squad. Sadly, strong orders form the commander made you stay in the barracks.

Surprisingly, you decided to join breakfast this morning. Even if your appetite didn't exist, you sat down with your squad and talked to them until it was time to go.

"You should rest, Squad Leader! You really look sick today..." Tim said, looking worried, "are you taking any medication?"

Letting out an empty laugh, you tried your best to wear a nice smile. "Of course! When you return, I will be better. Your Leader isn't going to be defeated by a stupid cold."

"But it has been one week and you are still sick..." Trisha said, playing with her fingers, "I don't mean to say you look bad but..."

The white haired male, Simon, crossed his arms and frowned. "You look like shit, Leader." The statement made Trisha and Tim look at him in an attempt to stop his comments, but the young male didn't care. "What? It's the truth. You are skinnier, paler, and you have get into fights with the commander and the corporal, and Petra too."

"You don't have to recall all of that, Simon. Our leader is stressed enough of... these conflicts, you don't have to make him more worried." A blond woman interfered, glaring at Simon with her greenish eyes. "We have to comfort him like a good friend would do, no made things worse."

"I'm just stating the truth— come on Elizabeth, you saw how angry he was with Petra yesterday. That throw must have hurt, too." Simon muttered to not grab any attention to the topic of conversation. Sadly, his voice got louder, "You should have seen her after—"

"Stop! This is not helping at all!" Elizabeth slightly raised her voice just to interrupt Simon, which she gladly did, hearing his voice getting louder. "You don't say all of that like it's nothing to our leader! Apologize!"

And just an argument began. You were thankful the mess hall was loud this morning— if it weren't, they would have heard all of what your comrades were saying. Just the table besides you caught attention of your soldiers getting railed up, but they quick dismiss it when they saw your glare.

Tim and Trisha tried to calm them down, but their sweet and low voices didn't made trough. Elizabeth was over protecting with you, and Simon was brutally honest. These two didn't match that well, but their differences were forgotten once they were in battle. But of course, the two could talk normally in one moment and in a second they could be fighting, just like now.

"Alright, that's enough. You both calm down and sit down; everyone is watching you making a fool of yourselves." You finally ordered, rubbing your temples. A headache overcome you, maybe for not eating well yesterday and today— your bad mood was getting through.

Thankfully, the two took the order and sat down, silently glaring at each other.

"Simon is right. I'm not in my best shape right now and..." you passed a hand through your hair, sighing, "I've been in a bad mood, as you could have heard, or even seen."

There was a minute of silence, until Tim broke it with an unsure look. He didn't know if he was alright to ask this, but he did anyway, "Leader... are you sure is just a cold? I mean— I'm not saying you are hiding something or anything, but..."

"Are you saying Squad Leader [Name] is hiding something from us? Something as important as his health?" Trisha asked, muttering to herself.

And just by that, another discussion overcome the topic. But you quickly ended it by the truth— just like yesterday, you decided that the best thing to do was being honest with everyone. Well, just a little honest.

"It's not a cold." You stated, looking at your squad members, which they quickly shut their mouths. Muttering, you proceed, "we... don't know what it is exactly, and I don't know when it will go away."

"What do you mean?" Simon frowned, looking confused, "are you implying that you have an illness? And you hide it from us?" "I did." The soldiers looked at you with wide eyes at your response, Elizabeth, Tim and Trisha looked surprised and taken aback, Simon frowned, looking away. "I didn't know what it was at first... and I still don't exactly know."

"You... don't know?" Simon asked.

"No, we don't know."

"What are the symptoms?" Elizabeth quietly asked.

"I just... throw up a lot and it's hard to breathe." You decided that was the best thing to say—it wasn't exactly a lie, right?

"And no doctors know anything?"

"Nope. No luck." Seeing their faces made you worried— there were just minutes to leave, and they couldn't just go with worrying about something else. They had to stay focused in the expedition, so you quickly tried to fix the mood. "But hey! Erwin and I heard about a doctor in Wall Maria that could help me, maybe we can go after the expedition, come on, don't look at me like that."

Trisha was the first to look at you with spark in her eyes; she was hoping you were telling the truth— after all, they care about you. "A-Are you sure? Do you think he will help you?"

"Are you not telling lies? After all, you just hide an illness from us for one week." Simon bitterly said, averting your gaze. He was hurt, just like everyone else— they were your soldiers under your command, your comrades; your friends.

Ouch. But it was the truth— you fucked up. "I'm sorry; I owe you all an apology for lying to you. But I'm telling the truth; Erwin and I have our hope on that doctor."

Tim tried to light the mood, "That's good, right?! Maybe, maybe we can go with you when we got back!" He smiled.

Trisha quickly joined his joy, "Exactly! We will go when we return, Leader! That's a promise."

You laughed, feeling something warm in your chest. Knowing they cared about you, even when you lied to them, made you feel good. Looking at Elizabeth and Simon, who were still not saying anything, you asked, "could you two forgive me?"

Simon meet your gaze and sighed, "Of course, Leader. Yes, you lied to us, but right now what is important is your health, right? So don't worry."

"Exactly. Yes— we are hurt, but what comes first is your health, Leader. So don't smash your head on your desk for what we think. We care about you." Elizabeth stated, smiling at you.

You felt as if a ton of bricks lifted up from your shoulders— and you just laughed with all your heart. "You guys are the best. You better don't do anything stupid in the expedition, you hear me?" Your squad just laughed, "Of course, Leader..." they said in unison, making you laugh.

"Where are you going to be placed? And who is in charge? Tell me!"

"Calm down, Leader!" Trisha said, raising her hands, "we will be placed in the right flank along with James."

You sighed, feeling relief— Yeah, they will be safe. The right flank usually doesn't encounter that much of a problem. Yes, yes,, they will be safe and sound.

"You know how I hate to break the mood, Leader, but," Simon said, approaching you and muttering, "won't you apologize to Petra? You know, she is hurt, even if she doesn't want to show it..."

Sighing, you knew he was right— what you did was wrong. This morning you thought to apologize to her already, but thanks to everyone coming and leaving like flash you couldn't. Or maybe, you just were making up excuses.

"I will apologize to her after the expedition." You stated, giving a quick look to Levi's table— which you quickly averted when you saw the ravenette looking at you.

"Everyone! It's time."

"That's our que! We have to go, see ya, Leader!" Trisha said, leaving with Tim.

"We will go to that doctor after returning, alright?" Elizabeth stated, before leaving the mess hall.

"Yep, what she said. See ya, cap."

And after that, they all left, along with everyone else. You were alone in the mess hall, looking deeply in thought. Somehow, you didn't notice someone staying— the hand slamming the table made you jump, looking right at the ravenette.

"Levi! The fuck!" you cried out, holding your chest.

"Oi. We will talk after the expedition. No hiding." He said, looking straight at you. You just sighed at replied,

"Yeah, yeah... No more lies..." The reply seemed to satisfy him, because he was already leaving with a smirk. You stopped him before he did, saying, "Hey! If you can... can you make sure they—"

"I'm absolutely sure they can handle themselves just fine. Aren't they your soldiers, [Name]?" He said, furrowing a brow. The question made you laugh— made you feel dumb to be worried about your soldiers being in danger. They know what to do and not do— they will return.

"Of course..."

The ravenette looked at you for more seconds before leaving. You were alone with your thoughts now.

Yes. You will apologize to Petra— she is your friend, you didn't have to snap at her like that.

You will talk to Levi and explain the curse. You will go with your squad to Wall Maria, to go for the doctor. You will apologize to Erwin. You will. Everything will work. ________________________________________ You never felt so bored before— was this how it felt when you were left behind? You felt like shit. The barracks were in absolute silence. You didn't know how much time were you all alone in your office. One hour? Two? How much does an expedition last? Were you outside the walls that long? Never felt like it. You wanted them to come back already, you wanted to be with your squad and protect them here.

Unfortunately, a painful feeling in your chest began to extend itself in your throat, and you knew exactly what it was. You just tensed and throw it all out, meeting with the colorful flowers. You thought you were finished after five flowers, but the feeling of something stuck in your throat made you gag.

It felt like glass coming out from your throat; it hurt. It hurt a lot. You hardly coughed, holding your throat to bear the pain— your eyes were teary, saliva was dripping from your mouth— the fucking flower just didn't want to come out.

Finally, after it seemed like hours, you had to take the flower out of your mouth with your hand— you could feel ripping it from something inside your chest.

The flower came out with a big root. Bigger than the others, at least. There was a lot of blood with it, too. Along with the petals and flowers that came out before this one. Fuck, this doesn't look good.

Throwing the flower to the floor, you tried to catch your breath— your throat was sore and hurt like hell. You could feel something inside your chest, not letting you breath properly. Calming your nerves, you thought the best thing was to get water and then go outside to get some air— yes, that was what you were going to do.

xxxxxxx After drinking some water, you went to the stables, where the horses were kept— and when you came in, you left a sigh of relief when you saw your horse, Nora, all alone.

"Hello, girl. They left you behind too?" Approaching her, you pet her nose, only to get licked by her. "Don't worry, I'm going to stay with you, alright? We both will wait for them here."

You placed a box near her, you sat down and talked to her. Just letting out about all of what was happening lately.

"But, you know, I think I will get better. After they return I'm going to look for Timothy with my squad, and we will know if I can get cured." Hearing her snort, you laughed, "Aw, I wish I could take you with me... but I don't think I can. Will come straight at you with the news, tho!"

Nora quickly began to move, pointing with her noise at the stable's door.

"What, girl? Are they already back?" Paying attention, you could hear the horses, some voices... "Thank you, Nora! Will come back after I see the doctor!" You exclaimed, leaving the stable— you were happy they were back already. There was already sunset, why did they had to take so long?

Whatever! You will find Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth and Simon, but first you will apologize to Petra.

But the state they were in made your heart ache. Your chest tightened— why did they look so grim? Why many of them were injured? What happened? You were sure in the last expeditions there wasn’t anything this bad— yes, you don’t came back joyful but like this…?

Instantly, you approached them, they could see your worried face, and by the looks of them, they didn’t want to tell you something. Where was James? Where was your squad?

“H-Hey! Where is my squad? Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth. Simoon...?" You tried to ask a soldier who just passed you, ashamed, You grunted, going with one of the recent cadets— Kirchstein. "You!"

The boy instantly turned at your direction, sweating when he spotted you. "Squad Leader [Name]..." he could only mutter. Was he going to be the poor bastard who had to tell you the bad news? Fuck.

"Do you know where is my squad? I don't see them." You said, looking at all the soldiers to spot your friends, but no luck.

"It wich flank where they?" Please don't say right flank, don't, don't...

"In the right flank, with James. I don't see him either..."

The blond you didn't spot at first, Armin, who was beside Jean, tensed along with him. They stayed quiet for some seconds, before Jean had the courage to tell you the situation.

"The right flank was completely wiped out, Squad Leader." He gulped, fearing what your reaction could be, "there were no survivors in the right flank."

You felt as something broke. Like a glass shattering on the floor in a million pieces— something you couldn't describe in one word. Something hollow, dark, cold.

The cadets really didn't know what to do, so them both just apologized. Before they could leave, you asked one more thing. "Where's is Levi's squad?"

This time, Armin answered you without looking at you in the eyes. "They are... dead too, Leader..."

"Just... Just how?! A flank wiped out?! Levi's squad?! What happened!?"

"Squad Leader— We—!"

"[Name]." You heard someone call for you— a deep voice. Turning around, you spotted Erwin who was standing there, looking at you with an expression you couldn't decipher. "Come with me." He softly ordered, trying to not get you all hot headed, but sadly, that didn't work at all.

You were furious. You should have been there with them! "They are dead, Erwin!" you cried out, scaring the two cadets who were there by your sudden loud voice. "They are gone forever! I should have been there! I should have, but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!" you repeatedly said, approaching Erwin and punching him on the chest with your fists wich he only could took.

"[Name], please—"

"No! Shut up! If I was there, I could have protected them! Damn you, Erwin! Why, why, why!" You desperately said, tears coming down. "They are gone... Elizabeth, Tim, Simon, Trisha... We promised..."

"We will go together."

Erwin knew even if you would have been there with them, nothing could have been different. Your current situation wouldn't have let you work things out. He had to said the hard truth, even if it hurt you. "Stop acting like a child, [Name]. Nothing would have been different."

"Stop! And? I should have been with them... I should have..." You muttered the last part, not finishing what he already knew you were going to say.

He sighed and took your wrist, "come with me and stop shouting. Just, calm down until we are at my office, alright?" He gently ordered, looking at you with that soft expression he often showed you. You just eventually gave in, crying and taken by the hand like a child.

--------------

When the door was shut, you instantly cried harder, grabbing Erwin by his jacket and hiding your face on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, caressing your hair. Softly muttering things on your ear, he tried his best to comfort you, but you were broken beyond repair. "I— I can't see them again!" you sobbed, "I couldn't a—apologize t-to Petra! I'm — I'm so sorry!"

He could feel his heart hurt hearing you so broken. Why were you apologizing? "[Name], don't say that. Nobody knew what would have happened, is not your fault. Nothing is your fault."

Crying louder, you just sobbed, saying things Erwin couldn't understand by your sobs. So he just hold you, trying to fix the pieces of the broken glass. You two stayed like that for what seemed hours, until you calmed down and rested your head on Erwin's chest.

"Are you better?" He gently asked, kissing your head with caring. The answer he got was a grunt and loud sniffing, before you broke the hold —that he didn't want to broke at all— and wiped your face with your hands.

"How— How is Levi taking it?" You asked, looking at the floor. You wondered how he was feeling now; maybe just like you.

"He's holding it. Petra's father... talked to him when we returned." He closed his eyes, "Levi is furious, but he knows the feeling too well, [Name]. But that doesn't make it easier..." "But... an entire flank was wiped out. How is that possible?"

Erwin sighed, going to his desk and sitting down. He began to explain what happened to you— the abnormal, or intelligent titan they encounter, how they tried to capture it and failed... You wanted to kill whoever that person inside the titan was— the person who killed your comrades.

"I'm going to see Levi." You stated, but before you could leave, Erwin took your wrist, making you stop.

"[Name], I don't think this would be a good time."

"I have to see him, Erwin. I have to. We have to talk right now." You had to— you could feel something covering your throath slowly. The bad news only made your insides worse— it was harder to breathe.

"But [Name]—"

You interrupting him by freeing your wrist, and said, "We will just talk. Just talk..." and then, you left, leaving him alone in his office.

______________

"Come in."

You slowly opened the door, seeing his miserable state he tried to cover. When he saw you, his expression changed to a grimmest one.

"Funny how now you come to me, [Name]." He bitterly said. Was he trying to joke around?

Nevertheless, you tried to hold yourself together. "I'm sorry for what happened..." You didn't want to say it out loud— you didn't even want to think of it.

He just hummed, closing his eyes. "Me too." Was the only thing he said, before everything fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"About what is happening to me—"

"I seriously don't want to hear you right now, [Name]."

Your heart sinked at the sudden statement — yes, you knew he was hurt, bu so were you! You had to tell him the truth, he had to hear it. "No— but, hear me out, Levi, because I love you I—"

"Stop talking." He interrupted you, standing up, looking at you in bitter. "Get this straight: I will never love you, [Name]. And you know why is that?"

Ouch. That hurt. A lot. That hurt, it hurt, it hurtithurtithurtithurt—

"Because the one I always loved is dead."

Right. He never loved you. What was there to talk about? Why were you trying? You knew this was over the first time you threw up that petal.

You were wrong. Nobody could have helped you wake up from this stupid love trance. So foolish. This was it— you couldn't breathe. Something was not letting you breathe— you had to get out. out out out out out.

You just let the tears flow and flew— straight at your office. You tried to grasp for air, but you couldn't. Your lungs were full with something. You needed help. You were on the floor, trying to rip off your shirt.

Help me. Help me help help helpgelpplessepleaseplaeplasleslap

"[Name], I saw you—" You heard Erwin? coming in, and when he saw the state you were in, he shout and order to a soldier who was walking near, and in a matter of seconds he went to your side. "What is happening, [Name]?!"

You tried to mutter something, "I—I can't breathe..." you felt as if your jacket was suffocating you, "j-jacket..."

He understand you immediately, taking off your jacket, making you slightly better. You could breathe just a little, but you were feeling something growing inside. Slowly taking your lungs, reclaming them...

"You are going to be alright, [Name]. Don't fall asleep, alright? Hange will come and help you." What was there to help? It was too late. Too late.

You painfully smiled at him, tears dripping from your face. You raised your hand and touched his cheek, making him frown and grit his teeth, "thank you... for staying... with me."

He took your hand with his, "don't. Don't say that, [Name]. You will live, don't say anything else."

You just smiled, looking at the ceiling. You could feel how he carried you and laid you on something soft— the couch in your office?

When Erwin turn his head to place you somewhere comfortable, he spotted the flowers laying on the floor. He saw the flower with roots. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he feared of what would happend.

Quickly after that, he heard frantically steps approaching you, instantly opening the door and revealing Hange with her assistant, Moblit. Both of them had worried expressions, and they looked frightened too.

Hange approached you, examinating the problem. Erwin stayed near you, always watching over you. Hange tried everything she could with the help of Moblit, but nothing was working.

"I have nothing else! Nothing is working, Erwin!" She desperately said, looking terrified. "Nothing!" Moblit tried to solve the tension, but he was worried too about what was currently happening. You look at the woman and smiled at her. You take her hand and squished it with the strenght you had left.

"Don't worry, Hange..." You saw her tears flow, looking desperate, you look at Moblit who was at the verge of tears, "don't you worry either, Moblit." He just averted your gaze. You let go of her hand, and looked at the ceiling again, mumbling to yourself, "who is the unluckiest of them all...?" you let out a painful laugh, "it's [Name]..."

A tensed silence overcome after that. You were barely breathing, but you were still alive. But you will be gone soon.

Someone opened the door while talking, "Oi, [Name], I'm sorry I–" but quickly stopped himself when he saw the situation in front of him. "What the fuck is happening?"

Nobody answered. Everyone stayed in silence, not daring to say a word.

"I asked something! Answer!" He desperately shouted, looking at your weak form on the couch. You were so pale, your eyes were glossy... he wanted answers! "Someone answer me!"

"[Name] is dying." Erwin stated, looking coldly at him.

"Why?! He was fine just minutes ago! What happened?!"

Moblit left the room, and Hange was sitting down on a chair near the couch, covering her face with her hand. Erwin was at your side.

"Because he has an illness no one knew about but us."

"Nobody told me shit!? What the fuck?!" He quickly approached your form, trying to talk to you, but Erwin hold him. "Erwin, tell me what is happening is happening to him!"

The blond just glared, "He is like this because he loves you."

The ravenette just dumbfounding looked at the taller man, "Oi, eyebrows, stop joking around and tell me the fucking truth!" he took Erwin by the collar, but before anything could happend you talked.

"He... is telling the truth, Levi." Your voice was getting lower by the minute.

"What kind of bullshit is that?"

"I was trying to tell you... earlier," when you said that, he averted your gaze, ashamed. "I have something that makes me throw up flowers... Hanahaki curse."

"That's not possible, how can I believe that...?" This time Hange interfered, with her red eyes looking at Levi. "It's the truth. Because he loves you, and you don't love him back, something just... bloomed inside his lungs. We didn't believe it at first but now... we do."

Levi stared at you with widening eyes. He couldn't believe the situation; but his friends wouldn't lie like that, right? No, they wouldn't. He just looked at you, and said,

"I'm sorry..." He frowned, holding the tears. Was he going to lose you too? Because he hurt you? He hated himself. He regretted what he said.

You just sweetly smiled at took his hand, "no... need. Not your fault, hmn?" you let out a chuckle, "nobody's fault..."

He kneeled at your side, caressing your cheek. He was unable to cry— even if he hardly wanted to. He muttered his apologies over and over, until you didn't smile anymore.

Finally... You could see them again. Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth, Simon, Petra, Ed, Oulo, Gunther... your comrades smiling at you. Welcoming you. Everything was blurry.

"See you..." you said, before giving your last breath.

Nobody said anything.

Levi was still holding your hand, muttering his apologies.

Hange was crying, trying to hold back her sobs.

Everyone was busy with their feelings, that they didn't notice Erwin coughing, covering his mouth.

Erwin wasn't surprised when he spotted a white petal on his palm.

e n d.

epilogue

i've been trying to think why i stopped writing entirely, so this is just a vent/ramble post and doesn't mean anything beyond that? line break bc i dont think someone would want to read rambling tb: rant about aot, info about reiss mental asylum/empty/future

the first reasons i came out with were 1. work 2. a shitty situation that worsened my already shitty mental health and 3. void of creativity/writers block/no energy to think or to came out with something i liked bc i kept comparing myself to others creators (which is... very bad).

the other big reason....... (since i only wrote for aot):

i think i stopped writing anything attack on titan related because i really, really got so salty that my favorite peace of media (that i've followed for 11 years) ended they way it did? and i don't mean that 'oh just bc u didn't get a happy ending or u didn't understand the characters and the plot doesn't mean your opinion is valid bla bla'

but the way characters' developments were poorly handled and recessed, how they were just made dumber for the sake of the plot and how suddenly a romantic relationship that wasn't there in the first place became something bigger at the end and how eren was handled in the last moments just made me so salty lmao.

and it makes me more salty how people just shits on you if you don't like it and quickly go with their 'u didn't get it' like brother ive been here since 2013 tf you mean? now we can't criticize anything and still like something??? AAAGGGHHHH

im sorry LOL it's just that i can't see anything aot related bc it is so ruined for me. literally i see tiktoks and i get so sad and bitter bc i know what the comments will be lmao i hate it, literally just read the manga and stopped watching the anime until season 3 bc i just disliked how everything was handled so bad. like any news about it just doesn't make me feel anything 😭 i need a therapist

anyway :) im trying to find my love towards it again because i genuinely liked writing my shitty stories about it and the world building and characters were what i fell in love with.

(also, this doesn't mean im bashing ppl who liked the ending!! in my eyes, everything is subjective—some like it, some dont, and that's fine. how boring life would be if we all thought the same?)

but i AM bashing those who say 'you didn't get it'. come here and get this hands how about that

oh, and im rewriting reiss mental asylum (just the earlier chapters bc they are... bad y'all LOL), nothing too heavy, just trying to improve the writing and adding extra things. (such as the damn time period... i've had in mind to settle it around 1960-1980, but i just didn't pay attention to the world building enough to explicitly mention it. oh well, the more you know.)

i've already made a big chunk of info about how i want to develop the whole story, so i do have a clear structure to follow. also, i once begged for ideas in ao3, and many people came with great input, and a commentor was so spot on on what i was intending to do with the story! (like really spot on LOL they found my secret plot twist...)

it really makes me baffled how many people like the story, with its flaws and all. i was young and very inexperienced when writing it, so i hope i can refine it enough to make it a decent read for all of you.

also... people from russia 🫵 im speaking to you directly... thank you for your kind messages as well! (some of you have reached for me through email) it just baffles me how well liked that story is? and for the translator(Вероника_69) to still keeping an eye after years of no updating? aaaa. thank you.

i think i needed to write this vent, it helped me to get some good motivation!!

aaaaand i've watched jujutsu kaisen... you may see silly things coming up as well... err, someday. because college is around the corner again and that means suffering! and poor mental health! and no time! and no life!

been having these intrusive thoughts lately of... erasing all of my works LOL BUT i won't, don't worry. they'll be there as a reminder of how slightly ive improved (not much).

but yeah, if you see me experiment with small drabbles or just silly posts it doesn't mean im not paying attention to reiss mental asylum! i won't abandon it unless i die, even then i've told my friends to release my 30 unfinished drafts for you to get some closure LOL (fr though). but yeah, i will gravitate towards other fandoms if i feel like it (:

so, empty: hiatus... hiatus hiatus bc i hate to touch aot right now as its canon universe. indefinite hiatus, but i love that story to just abandon it. i was having much fun with it, tbh. which also im very grateful that it also got a russian translation by _Полуночник_! sorry that these news aren't very positive for the fans of empty, but i promise i'll get around it someday.

anyway, this turned out too long. thank you for still checking my stories, as bad as they are! i really, really appreciate you all reaching out to me. hopefully this year i can be more active, even if to write drabbles with meaning behind it. (i just love stories with lores thats why im so damn slow) although... i wrote more for myself in the beginning, so i was very surprised that people wanted more LOL

oh and im going to post masterlists to order my shit better. i want pretty visuals too, yk? headsup if u see me posting... also, feel free to ask anything about this vent lol i dont mind. (also i always got notifications to my email when someone asked something, and idk when they stopped? also, yeah, i check my email 😞)

hope you are having a good start of year. and, if not, well, we have 11 months anyways

and i never fucking realize i had 550 FOLLOWERS. i am not fit for social media y'all im sorry. i'll have to spoil you with something... THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING A DAMN GRAVEYARD 😭 i will make it better i promise

also... dont use chat bots... my brain rotted... 😞 i had an unhealthy obsession (still do) but don't give in LMAO

I love you and your stories/writings...... Keep safe and healthy, dear!☺️💖

thank you very much! i havent written much but my stories are always on my mind LOL. sorry for the, again, long hiatus.

e m p t y / 7

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

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[Name] took the box, and before leaving he placed a kiss on Beatrice's cheek, which she was crouched so the boy could reach her. She took his head with her hands and kissed his temples, smiling at him and standing once again.

"Be careful on the way to Doctor Jaeger's house, alright?" The woman said, warmly looking at [Name].

"Yes, mom. The bread and I will be safe and sound on our way." [Name] opened the door, and before leaving he said, "see ya, mom!"

[Name] heard her saying see ya too, and went to his way. The day was good— the wind felt nice. It was... peaceful. Even if his ears could hear everything, the sounds fogged, not taking attention to anybody's voice. It was nice, but something deep in his mind told him that something was wrong— something was out of place, but the boy couldn't decide what. Everything seemed normal like everyday— what was wrong? He didn't want to worry Beatrice for the feeling in his gut, but [Name]'s mind was occupied by the same thought. He didn't know what to expect or do, so he shacked his head and returned to the present.

He was going for your normal check ups with Doctor Jaeger. Even if his headaches were less than before, the man had said that he had a case of migraine— a weird problem a kid should have. Nevertheless, thanks to all of his recommendations the pain was bearable. So, Beatrice and him decided to gift him bread and pastries thanks to his huge help, even if he answered with modesty. His recovery wasn't that great, but he managed.

Sadly, not remembering anything made him somehow depressed and upset. He wanted to remember, but both Doctor Jaeger and Beatrice told him it was too dangerous for his health, and honestly, the headaches got worse by just forcing his mind to remember. Beatrice had told him that she would try her best to make new memories he wouldn't forget, so he just accepted it and moved on.

And it was true— after one year in this district he had made bad and good memories. [Name] was curious of his past, but even if he wanted to forget it he couldn't. Even if his headaches were horrible and awful, he sometimes tried to remember when he was alone at night in his room. But sometimes his headaches came out of nowhere— as if his mind forced him to remember...

Finally spotting Jaeger's house, he unconsciously rubbed his forehead as he approached. [Name] liked Dr. Jaeger— he was a nice man and helped him. But sometimes, when the man thought the boy wasn't looking... [Name] could see different eyes that he couldn't decipher. Blinking, [Name] shacked his head, trying to forget his weird thoughts. The boy knocked on the door, letting out a deep breath. Quickly after that it opened, revealing Miss Carla, and when she spotted him, a warm smile took her features.

"[Name]! Come in!" She opened the door and made space so he could come in, "Grisha was waiting for you! Aha! and what do you have here?" She asked, looking at the brown box in the boy's hands.

[Name] walks into the house, "it's croissants. My mom and I talked about a new recipe, and we want you to try it first." He finishes, giving a small smile to her. He handed her the box, which she gladly took.

"That would be perfect for today's meal! I'm excited to try them out, thank you, love!" She said as the woman patted him on the head and headed to her kitchen.

[Name] spotted Grisha sitting on the table writing things in one of his books and greeted him, "Good afternoon, Doctor Jaeger,"

He closed the book and smiled at him, "Good afternoon to you too, [Name]. Sit down with me and we will do the regular, alright?"

[Name] nods, obeying. Placing his hands between his legs, the boy moved his feet in front and back.

"How are the headaches? Any complications?"

"I got a nosebleed this week. I didn't try to remember, but the headache just came." [Name] paused, thinking about his previous thoughts, "It's... weird."

Grisha arched a brow, curiously looking at the boy, "What is?"

The amnesiac boy shifted in his seat, trying to get comfy. "It's like my mind wants me to remember, even if I don't want to. I don't really know how to explain it... Just like the gut feeling you get when something bad is gonna happen..." He mumbles, trying to find the right words. "It's... forcing me? Hmn...”

The doctor doesn’t say anything and just writes on his journal. [Name] can’t exactly see his gaze as the light reflects on his glasses— but he can certainly feel the change of aura the doctor had. It's different.

"Oh!" The boy blinks, "I got some scratches too on my back. I got into a fight the other day."

"Is that so?" The doctor hums, closing his book. "Let's check them then."

The man stands from his seat, heading to [Name]'s back. He commanded the boy turn so he could treat his injuries. The boy obeyed, feeling Dr. Jaeger removing his shirt and showing his bare back. But as just as the man take off his shirt, he suddenly stopped and left the shirt hanging from the shoulders. Weirded out by the silence, [Name] spoke.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, wondering if his injuries were worse than he imagined.

The boy's voice snapped Grisha into reality, it seemed, because the man blinked and hurriedly spoke into a 'trying-to-sound-normal' tone, which [Name] noted clearly. "Nothing at all. It's just that... you don't seem to have any injuries in your back. Are you sure you had them?"

"Well, my shirt was stained with blood when I took it off..." Narrowing his eyes, the boy crossed his arms, trying to think if he had imagined the blood— but obviously that wasn't the case. He did remember it, but now they were suddenly... gone.

Dr. Jaeger doesn't speak at first— he looks deep in thought, but eventually he talks again. "Maybe you imagined it, or someone's blood splashed on your shirt," the man chuckled as he helped [Name] to put on his shirt again, "you know how... violent you can get."

It could be true— his friends had told him how... brutal he turned when he fought the bullies. He was scarier than Mikasa and that was saying something.

"Could be." Was the only thing [Name] said before falling into silence.

The doctor sat down again, talking about another type of herb they could try, but it was hard to get. They were somehow rare, so for Grisha to find someone who sell them or find the plant itself was a challenge.

The boy blinks, "where are they?"

"Hmn? Who, Mikasa and Eren?" As the boy nods, Grisha responds, "they are collecting wood in the usual spot. They left some time ago."

The amnesiac boy had decided to look for them— after all, he always looked forward to helping the Jaeger family with anything they needed, as at least pay all of the help Mr. Jaeger have provided.

As the checkup finished, [Name] said goodbye to the parents, receiving a pat from Grisha and a kiss on the head by Carla.

"We'll tell you later how the croissants are! Or even better, you should join us for lunch!" The joyful woman said as she waved goodbye to the boy,

[Name] was lazy at the thought of go and find his friends— the spot wasn't that far away but still was a good amount of walking. Yawning, the boy was ready to go but he stopped in his tracks as he remembered what time and date was it— the survey corps returned today! Just with the thought the boy smiled, running to try and catch up before they arrived. [Name] always tried to be at the front whenever they returned— he always worried about their well-being. After all, they were the soldiers who saved him.

Running to the gates, he could already hear the amount of whispering saying bad things about them. It was a good thing [Name] didn’t care about them— if not, he would have throwing hands at everybody.

As he arrived, the bell immediately was heard. Frowning a little by the loud sound, the boy tried to be in front of the crowd but got pushed back by the adults. He pouted, annoyed. The little boy couldn’t see thanks to his height, but as he was going to look for a box to stand on, he felt a hand grabbing his own tightly.

Before [Name] could react rather aggressively to the unknown source, the voice he recognized was Eren, stopped him from doing so.

“I was looking for you!” He said, smiling widely at him. Mikasa was besides him as always, waving at the amnesiac boy with a small smile.

“You found me.” [Name] answered with a bland tone as he squeezed his hand. The brunette’s face went crimson as he smiled brightly at the positive reaction he got. It wasn’t a secret [Name]’s attitude was nicer when the survey corps returned or where going to leave, so Eren tried to take some advantage of that.

The three of them looked for some boxes to stand and see their return.

The gates opened, allowing to enter the soldiers on their horses. There was a silence the people fell on, waiting how things turned out.

[Name] was always rooting for them—not caring of what would happen, he supported them. He knew Beatrice wouldn’t be fond of the idea, but when he grew older he would join the military to be one of the survey corps. That was his dream the day he learned about the military, and no one was going to change that.

You shouldn’t be so sure.

Blinking, the boy looked at his sides but no one but Eren and Mikasa were with him. He didn’t recognize the voice neither, and he was sure someone whispered something to him. The brunette was too occupied to notice his reaction, as his attention was somewhere else. Maybe was his imagination? He was already paranoid all day— could be his mind playing games to him.

Shacking his head, [Name]’s gaze went to the soldiers. The looks on the majority of them made him frown— they didn’t look good. The expedition seemed to turn out bad, seeing the number of injured soldiers passing trough. They looked so... grim. His [eye color] eyes shifted to place to place, looking for a certain blond— he wasn't worried he didn't make it back, because he always did return. So when his eyes meet the blue ones, the boy stood on his tip toes as best as he could and waved with his expressionless face as Eren smiled at him too. Seemed the blonde couldn't hold his guilt or shame, seeing his frown and the way he averted their gazes. The brunette's smile fell, the same time [Name] pouted at his reaction.

"No good, uh?" [Name] whispered to himself, frowning. Eren's attention went to him, but soon shifted to the woman who spoke and went to where the commander was, asking about her son whereabouts. [Name] didn't want to be a pessimist, but something in his gut told him this was going to be upsetting— the same feeling that has been with him all day.

And well, it certainly was. 'Moses' was just an arm they could only retrieve— the last remain the mother had of his forever lost son. [Name] cringed at such sight, feeling dirty of watching it. This was horrible: something so... private? so heartbreaking? was for all the world to see. Even more awful with the poor response she got from the so called commander:

"J ust like all the other missions…we achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths! We haven’t found anything out about them!"

The [hair color] couldn't believe such answer. Was this the same guy he was saved by one year ago? Why was his guilt getting hold of him in front of this poor woman? [Name] frowned, averting his gaze of the scene. He admired them, he really did. The boy wanted to believe in them until the end, but he couldn't deny every return was a mess to see. He could already hear everyone's whispers, and not-so whispers of the people that wanted to be heard by the poor soldiers passing trough.

"Our taxes are basically going to feeding and fattening those things up now." A man in front of them spoke with no hint of empathy in his words, and [Name] instantly knew what was coming for him. He did not try to stop Eren from taking one of his firewood and hit the man on his head before being grabbed and pulled by Mikasa the same instant the man was going to throw a punch at him. As the two children disappeared, [Name] let his tongue out for the man to see, leaving shortly.

"You brat! Get back here!" The man tried to follow them, but as he turned to catch them, they were gone.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The ravenette threw Eren against a wall, the wood flying all over the place.

"Mikasa, what the hell?!" The brunette whimpered, looking angrily at the girl.

[Name] doze off, thinking about the gut feeling he has been having all day, along with the whisper he heard not too long ago. His eyes focus on the ground, trying to think and decipher his discomfort.

"Hey," he gets the attention of the siblings, "does any of you have a weird feeling today?"

"Ah? Weird feeling?" Eren raises a brow as he picks the wood, "I don't get it."

"Of course you don't." [Name] blatant stated, unimpressed. Ignoring him his shouting, he turns to Mikasa, "do you?"

"I haven't. Why?"

[Name] tilts his head, crossing his arms, "dunno."

"You don't even know and you treat me like an idiot!" The brunette points at him, frowning and yelling.

"Because you act like one."

"[Name]! We talk about this!!!"

"Enough." The ravenette interjects, "[Name], are you coming for lunch? Mom told me to get you if you wanted to."

He tilted his head, thinking. [Name] was feeling lazy, he just wanted to get home and sleep until the next day. "No thanks. Maybe next time."

Eren raises a eyebrow, suspicious. "Hmn? Where are you going, then?"

"Sleep." [Name] states, yawning.

"But that's the only thing you always do! What about Armin? He must be alone right now."

"Then I should look for him to sleep together."

"You lazy...! I'm going with you then!"

"You can't." Mikasa takes his wrist, "mom is waiting for us and the wood."

The brunette whimpered, holding his jealously of not sleeping besides [Name]. "See you later, then..." The children wave at each other, everyone walking into separate directions.

"Bye bye."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

[Name] went to look for his friend. Luckily sometimes he could heard his voice and find him, but as the blonde was really quiet these moments were rare. The boy was going to leave his objective, until he found Armin sitting on an alley all alone, reading his book like he always was.

"There you are." [Name] softly spoke, seeing how determined Armin was as he read the text. His friend was passionate about reading and learning.

The blond turns his head to see his quiet friend, instantly smiling brightly at him. [Name] slightly smiles at such nice sight.

"Where you looking for me?" [Name] nods, kneeling besides him.

"I was going to ask you if you want take a nap with me in the woods."

It may seemed weird to ask such thing— but everyone knew [Name] loved sleeping all day. His... activities were lazy and not that energetic, but Armin didn't mind that. He enjoyed his time with him, it was a nice contrast of being with Eren and Mikasa.

"Sure!"

The walk was not that long. The chattering was done most by Armin, talking about the information of the book he had. [Name] nodded and spoke some time, listening to what he got interested on. As the wood appeared in their view, [Name] took Armin's hand and guided him easily. The boy had a favorite spot only his friends knew— it may have appeared like every other place inside the forest, but to him it wasn't.

The two laid on the ground, Armin on his side and opened the book. He wasn't sleepy at all, but as he was quiet —unlike Eren— [Name] didn't mind. He let out a yawn, placing his hands on his belly and closed his eyes, hearing the birds flying over the woods and the wind.

Something blue— the ocean Armin talked about? The same one he thought to see before?

No— the scenery changes: the woods, but not the same inside the walls. This one is different: the same one outside the walls. But there are houses— there's someone. A woman...?

A memory of a book? Wait— it's the journal! Someone is handing it to him? The journal and the hands holding it can only be seen— there's a voice... what does it say?

O̴͎͌̈̄̚u̴̹̖̫̻̙̣̦̖̪̗̠͖͆ĭ̶̱͇̔͠ ̸̳̪͉̙̜̞͆͆̋̏͑͐̉̕͘͝͠f̶̨̥̖̜̼͕͚̹͖̟͂̔̄̓̊͐͆̈́̓̒̕̚̕e̵̦̳̎̍̾̈ͅm̴̡͓͚̘̬͙̬̗̗̌̃̅̀͊́̂̚͘̕͠͝m̸̨̠̝̻̉̑̎͋͂͂͋ ̴̬̜̈̅͗̚͝͝ḥ̴̡̻̜͆̌̈͌̊͛̐͗ͅą̸̛̠̠͉̪͍̮͔͔͕̼̰͂̂̽̈́͐̀͋̏͘ą̷̤̻̜͍̟̺̋̃̀͂̓̌̈́͌̚̚̕t̴̯̻͉̣͙͒̍́̍͜͝ ̶̢̢̰͈̠̗̻̹̗̫̥͋̿̓̈̈͗̀̈́̚ẽ̷̘̤͉͖̬̼͖̾͐̈́̓͑̈́̃́͋̑͑̃d̴͔͕̣͕͚̞.̶̡̊̓̇́ ̵͉̦̘̹͈̪̓̄͋̊̏̓D̵̺̳̱̭͖̥̮̝̙͛͌̂́͋ͅy̷̢̡̟̻̳̦̰̯̬͙̞͋̌g̸̼̀̇͐̄̔̽͛̌̇͂̕͠a̷̧̤̙̠̲̹͕̒̈́̈́̉̃̋͊̾̈̚ ̷̮͖̆̾͆̈́̐̉͛̑̅l̶͙̟̙̘̳̫̬̥̃̈͛̐̉y̶̡̜͍͛̄͌͘ͅṅ̸̮͙̫̖̤͉̤̜͚͔͇̭̍̐͛̆̃̒ä̷̡̼͇̘̖̝͖͖͍͓͎̊̊̊̄͐̂̎̏̕ ̶̥̞̤̋̿̈́͛̈́́ư̶̧̬̟͕̭͈̫̲͖͙͚̽͋̑͜v̷̧̳͓̙̖̯͚̰̠͇̙̊̆̒͛͂̏͘͝͝ ̴̢̟͚̜̱͚̱̤̜̭̃̋̌̏̌̔͝͝͝e̸̡̧̼̙̤̹̲̩̪̗̍͗͗͊́͛̐̾͘̕̚d̵̢̛̦͓͙̺͒͒̏̔́̅͒̓͑͋̕̕.̵̧̧̛̫͇̞̼͎̣͉͙͌̍̽͑͊̿͆͗̑̋̚̕͜ .̴̡̠͉̬̱̟͈̌̎̽̄͆̂̀̿͛̆̚

He can't understand it— what's she saying?

Something else. The place is so different... so... strange. It's not inside the walls— there are people... pointing at them with guns? What is this? Why do you show me this?

Who is examining their eyes? Hey—! It's his eyes— they have them too! Where are they? It's his family? Tell me!

You should wake him up— it's too early.

What are you talking about?! It's the only link we've made in years!

He's right. We will do damage if we show more. Let's not overdo it.

.

.

.

.

Uh?

"[Name]! Wake up!"

[Name] instantly opens his eyes and gets up, breathing fast. He takes a moment to understand what he saw— but he can't remember any of it. Like a dream he wanted to remember, but was erased forever. What was it? He had to remember— he had to! It was something important-- he knows it. But as soon he tries to imagine at least a bit of it, his headache comes with full force, shutting him down. He lets out a whimper as he hold his head.

Armin gets worried immediately, "are you alright?!" He closes his book and gets near him, exterminating him.

[Name] finds his voice to ask irritated, "why did you wake me up?"

The blond blinks, unsure, "y-you seemed to have a bad dream... you were whispering things and moving a lot. Do you remember any of it?"

"No." [Name] sighs, exasperated by the failure, "we should go back."

Armin is confused— did he do something wrong? He tries to apologize, but [Name] stands up, giving his hand for Armin to take, which he does. They leave without much to say, but [Name] can't shake off the odd feeling even more. He's uncomfortable, and if Armin notices it, he doesn't say anything.

When they get to the gates, [Name] speaks. "I should go with mom, I've been wandering too much."

"O-Oh, well... see you later!" Armin waves and smiles, seeing [Name] leave into another direction with a odd expression. He's worried, but doesn't pry.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

[Name]'s house is far from the gates— a little trouble some when you have your friend's house near the gates. The boy is irritated already, and hearing such multiple voices from the people only gets him even more exasperated. Plus, this 'odd feelings' he's having is only making him mad. What does this mean? Would something happen today? Something bad? Good? He doesn't know at all. Maybe the best thing to do is tell Beatrice in the end. As she said before, 'bottle up things doesn't work. Someday they will come out even if you don't want to.'

Just the thought of his mom and her delicious pastries calms him— he's happy. [Name] doesn't want to leave her at all... but he knows when the military comes, he will join and there won't be much 'family meetings'.

He yawns. He's almost half-way his house, almost there. Everyone is talking, but [Name] doesn't pay attention on what they are talking about, just the sound of their voice. The wind...

Wait. Something changed— as if the air turned heavy, as if something bad was behind him. Someone or something tells him to not turn around because there's something behind— but [Name] hears it before anyone else, like always. He doesn't know what is that sound, but his mind is telling him is something dangerous, something that should be feared— there's no words to understand it, and he doesn't even know what is he hearing, but someone is telling him to run. But he doesn't.

[Name] abruptly stops, widening his eyes in terror. Turning his whole body behind, his gaze locks on the wall, and just in a millisecond, a thunder appears from the sky and shocks into something behind the wall. And then, that thing appears— [Name] doesn't know what the hell is that thing looking at him, but at the same time he can't deny a sense of familiarity. He's shocked, looking at it's eyes.

Everyone is watching the titan with shock, fear, amazement. They are waiting for what it's about to do, but no one is prepare of what is going to happen. As the titan gets a grip on the wall, it moves, and after a couple of seconds it's foot kicks the gate, sending wind blows at everything near it. Debris gets on various houses and on people, killing them instantly. [Name] can't move, the only thing he can do is watch the horror in front of him. The colossal titan disappears, as if it was never there to begin with. Everyone runs away as they see the titans coming their way— multiple of them.

"What is happening?!"

M̵̨͖̞͓͇̲̺̝̱̪̜̻̀́̄̇̋̈́͗̓̌ǫ̴̘͙͔͈̫̣̠̖̭͙̲̅v̶̛̺̗̟͓͔̱̹̿̿̂͛̈̎̈́̆̏̕̚ͅe̶̡̨̛̯̰̰̞̭̯͓͌̿̔̓̒̒̐̈́͗͘,̸̡̛̤̲̳̫͚̝͈ ̸̯͆͋͂̈́͊͘b̶̧̤̩̹͈͕̘̝̺͗̍̽ṟ̶̨̜̻̪͇̹̣͔͇̞͍̘̓͊̎͌å̷̢̨̡̨̧̧̹̗̝̠t̵̢̤͈̐̀!̴̤̣̘̻͉͎̫̹͉̇̽͑͛̆̐̔̐̂̋̂͠ͅͅ

[Name] runs as fast as he can to his house. He thanks whoever his house is far away from this mess, but he can't forget Eren's house is just at the gate. Would they be alright? Should he go for them?! The boy stops, undecided if to run to his house or go to Eren's— is this time to even think?

H̸̝̦̖͍͈͖̱̩̪̙͂̃̉̿͂̓̽̂̐̍̕͘ͅe̴̙̩͇͐́͛̽̔͂y̵̛̮̣͍̺͖͕̰̓͌͋̎͗̔̂͝ͅ!̵̡͓̜̺̝̱̪̙̌͒̂̀̌̕ͅ ̶̖̙͙̟̗̼̰͈̘͇̠̩̿̊̉͛̇̊̈́̌͐̐̚S̴̙̟̞͛t̴͖̤̱̪̅͋̈́̇̓͑͛͆͝ơ̵̡͎͎̯̎̔̓̃͋͆͑̊̆͒̕p̴̨̨̩̼̞̖̜̝͇͎̺̏̓̌͑͝͠ͅ ̵̧͈̼̝͓̩̜͙͍̈̈́̎̆̍̐̏̑͂̄̃̈ͅṱ̴̛̠̜̫͈̬͉̼̫̩̲̜̑͑͆̎̄̆̎̎̆͆̚͘h̶̬̬͚̑̄̔͆i̶͓ṅ̸̢̛̘̥͙̪͖̜̥̩̱́̈́͒̈́͜͠ķ̶̟͈̤̗̟͉̖̫̞̫͍̔̋̿̽͠ǐ̸̳̜̝̩̭̤͇̯͉̺̝̰̍̽͗͋̕ñ̷̘̜͚́͊ͅģ̶̨̘̬̝̫̺̰͙͖͒͊͛̒͛̃̀͂̚̚͜͠ ̷̥͇̗͖̟̹̲̘̊͊́̈́̒̀̓͌͑̏͆͌͠a̸̮͚͓͖̳̭̞͐̅̈͛͗̇͗̃̄̈́̚͝n̶̛͍͖͎̠͇̦͈̿͛͜d̷͚̯͗̂ͅ ̴̬͚͍̘̝̯̥̆̈r̶̦͈̉̀ų̸̮̺̳͈͚̻͙͖̝̎͐̅̔̎͛̏̈͐̑͠n̶̲̤̟̹̭͔̈́̃̏͊̏̌̂̕ͅ ̶̞̀̑́̕a̶̼̙̭̲̣̞̋̃͋̓̀͆w̸̧̜͉̼͉̅͐̽̿͗͂̓̃a̵̡̫̝͖̪̞̍y̸̡̪̖͖̹̲͔̹͖̯͙͊̑̏͂̏̇͘̕!̸̨̡̩̬̙̱͚̭̬̟̩̋̐͜

No— Beatrice is worried, you should go back.

He doesn't want to leave his friends, but something makes him run at the direction of his house. The boy does his best to try and doze off the horrible sounds around him— the screams, the whispers on his back, the horrifying sounds the titans make... the scared boy locks his gaze in front on him until he gets to his house safe and sound, where Beatrice is waiting.

He can already see her outside her house, trying to understand what in the world is going on. She's worried, but her expression changes when she sees [Name] running towards her. As soon as the boy gets there, he grabs her hand and tries to pull her to the inside's gate as he explains, "we need to go! something appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the gate!"

"W-What?! T-That can't be possible!" Beatrice widen her eyes as she tries to process the situation. But as she sees everyone running towards the gate and notices the titans far away coming where they are, her expression turn into one of terror. "W-We need our stuff!"

"There's no time! We have to go!" [Name] takes charge and tries to leave, but Beatrice can't move. "They will get here, mom!" Both can hear and see the Garrison Soldiers trying to take care of the disaster, but as everyone knows, they are not capable of holding it.

Beatrice lets out a shaky breath before nodding and get on running.

Fortunately the gate is already open— they cross it, seeing soldiers preparing ships to sail. There are a lot of people gathering already, but [Name] hopes everything gets done fast. They hurriedly walk there, waiting for their turn to get on the ship.

"I wonder if they are alright..." He can't stop himself to think about them— he should have been with them first. But then, maybe Beatrice would look for him and get hurt. What was the right thing to do? "They have to be..."

Beatrice squeeze his shoulder. "They are, [Name]. They are strong."

It's really slow, but soon they get on one of the ships that is already full. There are two more empty, but [Name] wonders if everyone of Shinganshina can get on just these boats. His eyes try to see if his friends are there, but he can't see them at all. He only hears desperation, but not their voices. He's shaking, but Beatrice tries her best to calm him down. She's scared too, terrified, even. She can't even comprehend what just happen— there was a heavy sound far away from her house, but then what? The boat sails, leaving the disaster that the district hold.

The woman hugs her child with caring, closing her eyes and wishing for the best.

So, was this the gut feeling you were having all day?