When Will You Update Your Books In Wp?

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter nine  — new mornings

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They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

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“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

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Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

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Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

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It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

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The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽

Flower Curse | epilogue

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

s e v e n

"Is not your fault, you know, eyebrows?"

He lets out a bitter chuckle, not looking at him. Erwin looks at the pile of papers on his desk, lost in thought. It's been two weeks after what happened.

"I knew my luck will run out one day. Nevertheless, I thought a titan would do the job, not some fairy tale."

The room is cold. Even if it’s a sunny day and it's hot outside, this room remains cold. There's no warm in here, and he notices.

"Is Nora eating well? Oh man... I told her I was going to see her after talking to the doctor. I hope she's not angry."

Ah, your horse. Nora wasn't that energetic after not seeing you for a long time. Even now, nobody can approach the horse without her freaking out, not even for giving her food. It was a difficult task, but thanks to a cadet named Christa the horse could eat. Erwin didn't blame the poor horse wanting to see her owner.

"How is everyone doing?"

Erwin had to tell the soldiers why one of the squad leaders wasn't going to be with them no more— so everyone who was involved in your situation accepted to just tell everyone it was just an unknown illness. Obviously, they weren't happy and some didn't fully believe it, but nothing could be done.

Hange and Moblit stayed in the laboratory, trying to distract themselves with anything they could do. It wasn't a hard task— they were in a tough situation, with how the expedition went and all.

Mike and the others higher ranks just stayed silence, moving on. This wasn't any different, right? Plenty of soldiers lose their lives, and everyone was forced to move on. It's just how it is.

Levi was the one who distanced himself, making everyone go away by hiding in his office. Hange had to check on him, bringing food and receiving yells for coming in. Thankfully, the man finally left his office and returned to his duty, just like everyone else.

There were moments when the ravenette went to Erwin and talked in some nights, but the shorter man seemed out of it.

"What would have happened if I just noticed sooner?" Levi asked, looking at the horizon, deep in thought.

The blond just sighed, "I don't know. What would you have done after knowing his feelings?" Erwin too thought about what could have been if something was done sooner, but "what if" wouldn't bring you back.

Levi just stayed silent, thinking. Would the outcome have been any different? He realized about your feelings when you yelled at him, and he really thought about it all night. But a certain girl never left his side, making him feel warm. He couldn't decide his feelings for you, but he cared about you dearly. Levi even thought about there could be something if he talked to Petra about his thoughts, but what happened made everything change.

"Maybe there was a chance for him and I." He answered.

Erwin just hummed, "then he would be here with us."

The ravenette closed his eyes, frowning. "I regret what I said at that time."

"I know."

"And you? How are you doing? You look like shit, my friend, But hey— you still look good, don't get me wrong!"

Yes, him. What did he do? Clearly, he had to move on and forget his feeling for the sake of humanity. It was a harsh truth, but this curse wasn't going to kill him when he and everyone around him were in a critical moment. So he hardened his heart, not forgetting about you but his feeling for you.

"I don't blame you. I wish I could have done the same."

Nevertheless, it was hard. He realized at the moment when you were in danger, that he was in love with you. When he saw you scared on the floor, he had to protect you at all costs.

When he saw how broken you were, he tried to pick all of the pieces, but he couldn't do a thing to make you feel better. He wanted to help you, make you happy. But when the book's author told you the truth about that girl, it all went straight to hell.

He wished he could have done things quicker— look for the doctor and find out if there was a cure or not. But everything went down too quickly, leaving this outcome.

"Still, I'm rooting for you, Erwin. I know you are strong. Levi is strong too— but you know how he bottles up his feelings. Please, stay together and help each other. And don't forget my name!"

"I will never forget you, I can't." The blond said, looking in front of him. "Even now, I still can hear you." He saw a glimpse of a smile at the corner of his eyes. He tried to look behind him, looking for you.

But the door opened, making the room warm again.

“Who were you talking to? I heard your voice.” Said a certain ravenette, giving the blond a frown.

The blond sighed, rubbing his temples. “I was just mumbling to myself.” He stands up, looking at the shorter man, “we need to get going. It’s time.” And then, he leaves the room without giving it a second glance.

Levi stands there for a second, looking around the room. For just a moment, he swears he sees a glimpse of someone standing near the window, but the sun’s rays blinds him. The only thing burning his mind was a certain smile he misses, but just as he saw it, it disappeared in a blink.

The man blinks, trying to focus his vision. He desperately looks for a certain someone in the window, but there was no one in the room— Just him.

A voice behind him says, “Something wrong? We have to go.”

The black haired man just hums, taking a glance to the window, “Nothing… I thought I saw something. Nevermind.”

Turning around, he closes the door behind him. Standing beside Erwin, both of them already walking in silence.

And just like a sound from the wind, they could hear a small gentle voice say:

“See ya.”

The two didn’t say anything, and just kept walking, deep in thought.

???

Hi, hi! 👋👋 I kept checking back to see if you’ve returned and you have! I’m very happy to see you again. I hope that you’re doing alright and that all is well. Sending you much love! 🥺💙

thank you so much (: i'm doing much better now! and i'm so happy to see you all again with the support of this bad author hehe ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ sending love to!!!!! ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚

Reiss Mental Asylum / 3

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

3

“There’s a small break every time your sessions finish. We’ll go to our office, so remember the path we take, alright?” Zeke says, looking at [Name]. The said boy just nods in return, enough for Zeke. “By the way, it seems that Armin likes you.”

“Really? He seems really nice…” [Name] says, smiling, “I’m glad he let me talk to him.”

“Yeah… he looked unsure about you at first, but it’s surprising how he changed.” The blond looks deep in thought, before proceeding, “I think you are the first person he talked freely like that.” He scratches his ear, thinking. Armin wasn’t very fond of Zeke that much— even if he was one of his doctors, he knew the short blond didn’t fully trust him. But, seeing as [Name] —who is new in the area— instantly clicked with him made Zeke wonder how many surprises the [hair color]-haired would bring.

Both males pleasantly talked— [Name] seemed comfortable talking to Zeke, and said man enjoyed hearing the other’s male voice. It was pleasing — something he wanted to hear everyday. Zeke noted the young man had a peaceful aura that calmed him, seeing as [Name] was a bag of nerves at first glance, the boy looked surprisingly calm now. It made the blond steal some glances to look at his gentle features — without the other noticing, of course.

Eventually, Zeke stopped in front of a door, which it had a small frame with the name of ’Dr. Zeke Jaeger’ on it. The blond opened the door, revealing a neat and simple office. There was only one desk with a chair, bookshelves, a lamp, a window… Nothing out of the ordinary.

“There’s only one desk, so we’ll have to share.” Zeke stepped into the room, with [Name] shyly walking behind him, “There isn’t much. I place the patient’s files here, other important documents there…” The man approached the desk, opened a drawer and look for something in it— his fingers touched the multiple folders, until he finally found two he was looking for. “I will give you the patient’s files, but not all of them. I don’t want to stress you this much— so don’t get nervous, alright?”

“S–Sure! Thank you, Dr. Jaeger,” [Name] gently said, smiling by the other’s kindness. “And sorry for you having to share your office, I will try not to occupy too much.” He added, with a deep pink growing on his gentle cheeks.

Zeke just laughed, “I already told you; I don’t mind sharing with you. I will make space for you, but for now hand me anything you want me to take, I will take care of it.”

“Alright, thank you again… I–I hope I can learn a lot from you.” [Name] states, looking a little embarrassed, making the other man smile seeing his shy form.

I look forward on learning a lot about you too…

“I will try to help you as much as I can, [Name].” Zeke reassured, taking a look at his watch, “it seems we still have some time left. We’ll take some fresh air, if you agree?” He looks at the other male with a small smile.

“Of course!”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

The two of them were sitting on a bench, outside the building. There were some patients on the gardens with some bodyguards and doctors observing them. Zeke had explained some patients had the privilege thanks for their backgrounds and history in the asylum, allowing them to going outside and do gardening for their therapy— [Name] had wondered what he meant by ’backgrounds’, but decided not to ask.

Zeke was smoking a cigarette, and [Name] just peacefully observed the patients from afar. The older man couldn’t stop himself to look at the other young man— he observed the softness of his beautiful face; how peaceful his eyes looked; how his [hair color] hair gently moved by the wind. [Name]’s body seemed relaxed— and Zeke couldn’t pinpoint the exact motive of why his full attention was on the other male; why he was taking a unexpected interest on him.

“Do you live far from here?” Zeke suddenly asked, pushing his glasses. The blond had many questions for the young man— and he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

The sudden question made [Name] slightly jump, alerted. Looking at the blond, [Name] quickly replied, “Y–Yes. I don’t have a car, so the bus brings me here— one hour and thirty minutes.”

Zeke furrows a brow, “Is that so? And how did you find this place anyways?”

“I found the ad on the newspaper, and well…” [Name] scratches his cheek with his index finger, smiling, “this was the only place that called me. I’m glad though, it seems nice.”

He has no clue about what he got himself into. Zeke hummed, taking a last glance at [Name]. Changing his attention to his watch, the man spoke, “we have five more minutes. I should tell you about the next patient.” The blond handed the folder, which [Name] took. “His name is Jean Kirstein. He made some… bad choices in the past,” Zeke explained, clearly leaving something out, “His best friend was killed, and that made him change for the worst. Jean can be harsh with his words– he can easily get provoked, too.”

Zeke stands, turning at [Name], “let’s go.”

。。。。。。。。。

The death of Jean’s best friend left a huge impact on the young boy— Zeke had explained Jean saw the corpse of what was left of his friend. Jean has night terrors in most of the nights. The taller man didn’t exactly tell [Name] what the patient did in the past, and the young boy couldn’t really take a hint. Zeke could see how oblivious [Name] was, and he thought it was for the better.

“Here we are. As you know, I will see everything if anything goes wrong,” he says, already leaving. But suddenly stops, as if he remembered something not that important, hearing his uninterested voice tone, “also, don’t be surprised if he’s handcuffed. Good luck.”

H—Handcuffed?! [Name] was taken aback by the comment— why would a patient be handcuffed? Was he aggressive? The young man really didn’t know what to expect, so with no much thought he opened the door, instantly noticing a young man around his age sitting, looking irritated. And indeed, he was handcuffed.

“Great. Another fucking useless doctor.” The two-toned haired boy snorted, “don’t even try with me, pretty boy. I don’t care about any of your bullshit.”

[Name] cheeks slightly blushed by the given name, but hurriedly calmed himself. The young man knew there would be not too kind people, but that didn’t make him upset. He was going to do his best and help his patients.

The [hair color]-haired boy just smiled, sitting across the other boy. Jean just looked weirdly at him— normally, his doctors’ expressions were irritated or uncaring, but this person showed a gentle smile. Huh. Weird.

“But I will try my best! I don’t give up easily, you know?” [Name] spoke, unbothered by the other snarky comments, “I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger assistant. What’s your name?”

Jean snorted, “I believe you already know my name, doctor. No point playing dumb with me.” He took notice of the assistant’s face– it didn’t change, he could see [Name] wasn’t getting irritated or mad, just like the others. The [eye color]-eyed just kindly smiled.

“Well, I would like to hear it from you. It makes things official!”

“You are not giving this up, are you?”

“Nope!”

The patient sighs, relaxing his composure. “Jean.” Was the only thing he said— weirdly enough, Jean could see he was an interesting fellow. [Name]’s introduction actually made him aware that the assistant may or may not be… too kind. And his pretty looks really didn’t give away much contradiction to his conclusion.

Yup, this one is perfect for teasing. Better take the chance.

“Nice to meet you, Jean! This session is only for intro–”

“Hey, [Name],” Jean interrupted, with a smirk on his face, “can I ask something?”

“Sure, ask away.”

“If you are Jaeger’s assistant, does that mean he can fuck you all he wants? I mean, the man has to have his needs, and you being his pretty assistant sounds fishy enough to me.”

[Name]’s face was priceless. All of his face instantly went deep red. The young assistant never heard something like this addressed to him— and it was absolutely embarrassing. Even if he knew Jean was only playing with him, that didn’t mean [Name] couldn’t get flustered.

Jean couldn’t hold his laugh seeing the distressed state of the assistant. [Name] was blabbering, trying to deny the dirty joke with no avail. Oh shit, is he a virgin? This is better than I thought! Finally something funny is happening in this disgusting place!

Thinking about it, Jean really didn’t mind anymore if this cutie was going to be his doctor. He could see every session embarrassing the young assistant, looking at his flustered state. Yes, he couldn’t wait for more opportunities to make him blush.

“O—Of course not! Please hold yourself on doing comments like that, Jean!” [Name] finally spoke, his soft cheeks still red. “Dr. Jaeger and I are not like that in any way!”

Jean laughed, he couldn’t believe he finally had a chance to be with someone like this. Surely, he will take every chance he gets. “I was just saying, pretty assistant. Come on, I just said fuck, it isn’t that bad.”

“Just don’t say things like that. That came out of nowhere!”

After that, both of them could normally talk, relieving [Name]. The sexual comment did threw him off, but hoped there weren’t going to be more situations like that in the future. They just talked— [Name] did most of the talking, and Jean just reluctantly answered, leaving some snarky comments here and there. The two toned haired patient was bored with the conversation, but answered nevertheless.

A knock on the door made [Name] realize it was time to leave. Standing up, the [hair color]-haired spoke, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Jean. I will see you next week!” [Name] sent a smile to the other boy.

Jean was indifferent about the talking session, but surely, making his new doctor embarrassed was going to be one of his obligatory tasks. He would think on more things to say— he couldn’t wait for next week to come. Jean remembered the assistant’s blushed face— how embarrassed he looked. 

That, was a sight he wanted to see again.

He surely was going to have fun with him.

。。。。。。。。。。。

“That was an interesting session.” Zeke broke the silence, noticing [Name]’s embarrassing demeanor. Surely, he knew Jean could get dirty with his comments– but he really didn’t expect something like that. The blond actually chuckled in amusement seeing [Name] flustered behavior.

[Name] just hummed, playing with his fingers. He was suddenly flustered seeing Zeke after that sexual comment, and he couldn’t stop a blush appearing on his face.

Zeke wasn’t sure if joking would be a good idea, but he couldn’t stop himself from teasing the [hair color]-haired boy.

“Tempting idea— I see myself considering it in the future. Just to let you know, assistant.”

[Name] ’s face couldn’t get any more redder.

Flower Curse | 3

[levi x male!reader x erwin]

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t w o

After that horrible and bizarre moment, you were sitting across the room with Moblit, Erwin was sitting in front of Hange as she was behind of her desk sitting as well, looking at the blonde with seriousness. Moblit gave you water and helped you take off your jacket, because you were suddenly feeling exhausted at the sudden force of throwing up. Currently Erwin and Hange were talking about your current situation, but you really didn't pay any attention about it– you were too tired to listen.

Feeling the jacket off you made you sigh in relief; you wanted to strip right there. You felt like your clothes were suddenly suffocating you– Was the uniform that tight before? You weren't sure anymore. And as if Moblit could read your thoughts, while placing your jacket on a small desk, he said, “Maybe it would be a good idea to take off the harness as well. What do you think?”

“Yes, Moblit. Please,” you said –or rather begged– sounding pleading, only to make Moblit smile in an apologetic way and helped you. You sat down as Moblit take off your boots and stood up again so he could help you with the harness. You placed your hands on his shoulders, suddenly feeling dizzy so you didn't want to fall. He was turned back of your actions, but understood the cause of it when he saw your troubled face.

“Take it easy, you stood up to quickly. Just don't move and hold onto me, alright?” you nodded and tried to calm you down, hands still on Moblit’s shoulders. He began to take off the harness as gently as he could, suddenly feeling a strong gaze on him that made him... uncomfortable. And before he could turn his head, you spoke.

“Man, I feel like shit,” sighing and closing your eyes you tried to relax. “And this happened just a week before the expedition... I’m so lucky.”

“You have always been quite lucky, [Name]. Just like that one time with the abnormal or the other time with the black horse,” he slightly laughed hearing you sigh in irritation, remembering your near-death experiences, “these two situations could have been your death, but somehow you came out alive. That's why we call you the «The Luckiest Soldier of Humanity»”

“Well, yeah. But whoever came up with that nickname is an idiot. It sounds so ridiculous,” you sighed, “I hate the «of Humanity» bullshit, so absurd.”

“And I'm even luckier to get this unknown disease– if it's a disease.” You thought.

Finishing taking off the harness, Moblit placed it on the same desk and turned to you, “Whatever it is, I'm sure you will survive it. Just like you say, you are lucky most of the time.”

You only grunted, making the brunette softly laugh. “But I don't know if I will be lucky this time.” You thought.

You approached where Erwin was and sat next to him, trying to understand what they were talking about, but soon Hange looked at you and smiled.

“[Name]! I see you have a better face now! But stripping in front of people is quite reveling, you know!” she joked, grinning and furrowed her eyebrows, looking like a complete idiot.

Snorting, you replied, “Believe me, Hange. I want to take off all my clothes right now, but my decency is keeping me in rule.”

“Squad Leader Hange, I'm going to clean the... flowers?” Moblit said unsure, “I'm going to get the mop, I’ll be right back.” And before he could leave, Erwin called him.

“Berner,” they both looked at each other, “No word from this to anyone, understood?” the blonde said with an authority voice– usually his normal tone when he ordered something serious.

Moblit’s expression turned serious and replied, “Understood, commander,” and left.

“Alright, now,” you began, “What the hell I have?”

Hange’s expression turned serious and deep in thought, holding her jaw with her fingers. “I'm not really sure,” she hummed, “I've never seen this before... This happened today, right?”

At the question you shifted uncomfortably on your seat, making Erwin furrow his eyebrows with a questioning manner, “Did this happen before?” he asked, sounding... somehow irritated.

“Uhm... yes...?” you answered, sounding like a child getting caught on something they shouldn't have. Before anyone could say anything you bet them to it, “To my defense, I didn't throw up like this. I just coughed a petal three days ago. I thought I breathed it by accident, but it seems that isn't the case... hehe…”

That didn't calm down Erwin, judging by his irritation showing off. Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, he said, “If I didn't find you at that exact moment, would you have told me?” he asked, referring at the incident on your office not too long ago.

Gulping, you decided to not lie to him– either if saying yes or no it wouldn't satisfy him, anyway. You just shocked your head, ashamed to look at him. Hearing him sighing in disappoint made you feel bad– he was your friend, your comrade. You were a horrible friend, making him feel like this.

“Throwing up flowers... flowers...” Hange said, trying to remember something about the problem at hand, ignoring your little conversation. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers, making the two of you turn at her, watching expectantly, forgetting about the awkward conversation.

She quickly stood up and approached her bookshelf. Looking at it, murmuring something inaudible she paced her fingers on the books, trying to find the one she was looking for. “What was the name of the book? Hanake?” she thought, moving her eyes at one book to another, until she found the one she was looking for, “Hanahaki Curse!” she yelled, taking the book on her hands and returning to her seat.

“Nahaka what?” you asked confused, looking as lost as Erwin.

“Hanahaki Curse. This book,” she holds the book so you both could see the front of it– just small letters were on it– the exact same title Hange said before. “Talks about the same thing you may have.”

Erwin looked somehow relieved, “So this is a medical book?”

At the question, Hange laughed nervously, making both of you farrow your eyebrows at her, suspiciously. “Well, it's a... children book.”

Blinking with no emotion in particular, you said, “A children book,” she nods, “A fairy tale. Something fictional,” you sighed, brushing your hand in your hair, “Oh man...”

Like always, Erwin tried to stay collected about the situation, placing a hand on your shoulder trying to calm you down, he looked at Hange and asked, “I believe you remember it because it's useful, right, Hange?”

She just nodded eagerly and explained, “This book talks about the same thing you have, [Name]. And I believe it can explain why you have it.” Now that made you interested.

“Okay, tell me why then.”

“The book begins about two kids, Darla and Barry. The little girl has affections for the boy, but Barry has no interest in her. They remain friends until their teenage years, with Darla still liking Barry–”

“Hange this is absurd. What the hell are you saying?” you interrupted her, looking irritated. Were you really stay here and hear this nonsense? Absolutely not. “This is something serious; I won’t read a book for children!”

“Now, [Name]. I believe Hange has an answer about what's happening to you, so be quiet and listen to her.”

Grunting irritability, you just sighed and nodded, and Hange returned to telling the story.

“Like I was saying…

Darla never felt different about Barry. But never told him how she felt, because she knew he didn't like her that way. Until one day, Darla saw Barry with another girl, sharing kisses and hugs. That sight made her heartbroken– crying, Darla went to her house, ran to her room and cried on the floor. Suddenly, she felt a strange sensation on her throat. First, it felt ticklish, making her softly cough. She thought nothing of it– but the sensation didn't go away. She began to cough harshly, feeling something on her throat– until the last cough she could sense whatever it was inside get out of her.

The unlucky girl spotted a white petal lying on the floor– but before she could think anything of it, the feeling of throwing up appeared.

She threw up flowers all over the floor. And not just white colored flowers; pink and yellow were mixed like a bucket. The unlucky girl only cried more, terrified for what she was feeling and seeing.

“What is all of this!? I–I'm scared!” she shouted, sobbing uncontrollably. All of the noises made her mother open the door of her room, stopping and watching the scene in front of her with a shocking face.

“Oh no... Darla, my dear Darla... not you...” Darla’s mother sadly murmured, approaching her daughter and kneeling beside her. Hugging her, the mother holds Darla’s head on her chest, lovingly.

The two of them just sit on the floor, surrounded by flowers. Both of them crying and only the mother’s reassurance words were heard. Time passed, now mother and daughter were sitting on the daughter’s bed.

“Mother, do you know what I have? Why do I throw up flowers? What is this?” the unlucky girl asked.

Her mother let out a sigh, “My Darla... I’ve something to explain. The thing you have- is called ‘Hanahaki Curse’,” seeing her daughter’s confusing face, she explained. “This... curse makes you throw up flowers. And the cause of that is because of something so silly.

When you love someone, and they don’t love you back you have a very small possibility to... be cursed. The curse it’s so rare to have; but you- you have it now. But hear me- no matter what, I’m by your side, my daughter.”

And with that, little Darla suffered by the flower curse. The unlucky girl never stopped throwing up flowers of different colors.

Darla never met Barry again after knowing the cause of the curse. She didn’t want to see the cause of it; she suffered enough on her own.

The unlucky girl lied on her bed staring at nothing in particular with her mother at her side. The girl’s lungs filled with flowers, making her unable to breathe.

Darla disappeared from the world with her mother at her side, just like she promised.”

Nobody dared to say a word after that. The silence in the room was so tense; the three of you could feel that very clearly. You were shocked, clearly. You only thought was if you were going to have the same fate as little Darla.

“Well that’s… very dark for a children book, uh?” you said, trying to get less anxious.

The blonde’s hand reached your shoulder in a comforting manner. You turned to see his usual neutral expression, but judging by his shoulders he was just as tensed by the current situation as you.

“Hange, does the book have an author? Something we can use to reach the person who wrote this?” Erwin asked.

Hearing the questions, the woman began to search for a name in the cover, the back... but there was no name. You now where in a high stress level at the situation, but she opened the book again, going at the very last page of it, and there was two words elegantly written on the center;

“Barry Ziegler”

She sighed in relief and looked at the two of you with one of her usual smiles, “We have a name! It’s better than nothing. We can look for him or at least, find someone with the same last name.”

“Yes, we could do that. But we don’t even know how old this book is. For all we know, this guy is dead or the name he gave is fake. This doesn’t give me much hope.” You stated, looking annoyed.

“We can’t think like that,” the blonde instantly said, “I’m going to find information of any ‘Barry Ziegler’ inside the walls. This shouldn’t be hard to do- after all, these walls aren’t that big.”

You just shrugged and nodded, feeling a little better than before. Somehow, Erwin’s words always made you comforted. The guy was commander after all; he had his way with words.

The three of you chatted a little of what to do next. Moblit came and cleaned the mess, then leaving when Hange told him to look for some records about the ’curse’, if there were any. After some minutes the chatter turned out more pleasant, talking about the cadets and the jokes you heard from them sometimes. Erwin left first, saying he had important things to do, but you stayed with Hange a little longer.

“It’s Levi, right?” she said with a serious tone, unusual for her.

You just nodded, looking ashamed. Hange took your hands, squeezing them reassuringly.

One tear came, and then another and another, now crying in silence in your friend’s presence.

You somehow knew this wasn’t going to get better.

But you hoped you were wrong.

f o u r

REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / １２

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

powerless

１２

“G—Good morning, Erwin,” the assistant spoke in a gentle tone, gulping. He felt just like before— a trapped mice with no escape. He woke up this morning with nothing more but nervousness, fear and anxiety.

”Good morning,” the blond responded with no trouble, staring at him with his usual heavy gaze. As the poor assistant expected, bearing the dominant look wasn’t possible for him, as he preferred to look away in nervousness. Erwin narrowed his eyes by the evasion, but expected such by the same situation they were before, “I believe you know why I called you.”

The boy didn’t want to answer— he stayed late at night trying to figure out anything to take care of Reiner, but he barely protected Eren by whatever punishment he could have received that time. He couldn’t just leave them— It was against his morals, and he knew they didn’t really mean to hurt him like that. It was just... a mistake, something he had to take care of to do his job better. These things happened; it didn't have to be a big deal for him. But for whatever reason it was a huge deal to his coworkers every time something happened to him.

His thoughts were interrupted by Erwin’s voice calling his name, “I’m waiting for your answer,” it was clear he wasn’t happy either— there was no welcoming smile on his face, nothing that [Name] could feel comfort with. The same as before, unfortunately. [Name] knew Erwin wanted answers, something the assistant didn’t want to give. Both of them were visible tensed, one more visible than the other.

It’s not as if he could just lie. Erwin knew about everything beforehand anyway, and he believed telling a lie would be much worse than telling the truth. So, in a defeated, low voice, [name] answered. “...Yes.”

The reaction wasn't immediate. The blue-eyed man observed in such manner it made [name]'s body cringe. Whatever he wanted to find, it was enough to satisfy him. ”Good,” he leaned back on the chair, pleased by the assistant’s cooperation, “tell me what happened. Don’t lie this time, I would appreciate if you didn’t.”

Being under such harsh gaze didn’t make lying possible— it was as if Erwin was watching his every movement. [Name] couldn’t help himself and played with his hands nervously. He didn’t want to be under this interrogation again, but here he was. There had to be something else he could do to evade these situations, but none came to mind. He was stuck, and no miracle would help Reiner nor him out of this.

“Hmn,” [Name] began, playing with a part of his white coat. What could he say? ‘Well, Reiner choke me and almost kills a worker’? No way. “There... was a small problem going on yesterday...”

Blue eyes narrowed. ”Define small.”

[name] gulped. ”Uh... Mr. Braun lost control of himself, and... attacked me and another worker— but the situation was handled!” The assistant tried to finish such horrible statement with an awkward smile. That was the nicest way he could put it— it was the truth, really.

That only made the blond raise an eyebrow, amused by such answer. ”What did he do exactly?”

He cleared his throat. The blond really wanted to get detailed answers. ”He... uhm... strangled me and hit a guard...?” [Name] whispered as he tightened his grip on his coat, “but everything turned okay! So it’s fine!!” The assistant tried to show a careless smile, but the director obviously didn’t give in.

”No, it’s not,” Erwin firmly said, “show me the damage.”

That made [name] freeze. ”B—But—“

”Now.” Surprisingly, Erwin didn’t sound overly mad with the command, but his tone didn’t change it’s authority. [Name] couldn't do anything else but obey— what else could he do? Refuse? The assistant remembered how scary the man could be before. For some reason he seemed to hold back, but [name] know better than push his buttons. A scary Erwin was something [name] wanted to avoid, even now when Vincent told him many workers and patients began their 'irritation' period month.

The bruises quickly formed when he saw himself in the mirror this morning— they looked bad. His whole neck was covered in yellow, green and purple, and they did hurt when they were touched. He didn’t want anyone to see them, but he knew that was not possible. If they reacted they way they did back with the other incident, he didn't looked forward with these bruises. Even if he didn't want to accept it, he knew he was a bit scared about what was coming for his patients. 

With nothing else to say, he carefully pulled his turtle neck down, revealing the nasty bruises covering his neck. He timidly looked at Erwin, who eyes didn’t change. As blue eyes stared at the damage, [Name] tried his best to think about protecting his patient and not be afraid of the repercussions he was going to receive.

”M—Mr. Smith— I would like to ask you to not do anything to Reiner, please. He wasn’t in control of himself, and I’m sure he didn’t mean this to happen. I will—”

The blond quickly interrupted his useless statement. ”Rule #2: if a patient injures a worker, specially their doctor, they will get punishment as we see properly,” the blond spoke, “and as I can appreciate, his punishment is appropriate.”

[Name] shook his head as he spoke, not feeling well about how things were going. “B—But he can’t get punish because of things he can’t control! We are suppose to help them! Not harm them!”

It doesn’t seem Erwin likes what the assistant says, noticing his tensing shoulders and narrowed eyes as he hears such talk.

Erwin was infuriated. These guards were incapable of doing something so simple— so fucking simple. This punishment was something Erwin was going to see at first hand, but he couldn’t see any satisfaction coming out of it. Poor [Name] was already attacked— the damage was done and their incompetence was shown. Seeing that failure harming something as bright as his worker, only made him angry and irritated— this situation was annoying.

Something like that wasn’t going to happen ever again.

”[Name],” he spoke, standing up from his seat, towering him, “I care about your well being— I can’t just ignore what took place yesterday.”

”But—“

”I have not finished talking,” he states with authority, successfully shutting the assistant down with a mere look, “I can’t ignore it this time, nor I would ignore it in the future. This is a serious issue, and it will get resolved as they have always have.” It will. 

[name] pleaded. “But Reiner—“

He slowly approaches [Name], speaking in a firm tone. ”He will get punishment, even if you oppose against it.”

”Please, Erwin!”

Erwin closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. He couldn’t give in to the assistant’s sweet voice, even if he wanted to. He walked around him, as if he was playing. ”You do remember you have something to give me, hmn? After what happened with Jäger?”

”W–Well, but Reiner...”

The blond opens his eyes, trapping [Name] between his arms on the desk by the assistant's surprise. The action made the [hair color] haired flush— their proximity was so close he felt butterflies inside his stomach.

”You can’t just beg me to forgive everyone, [Name]. This is not how this place works,” If you payed me with something else I could reconsider it. “This is needed— it’s for your own protection and good, [Name]. We can’t let anybody doing whatever they want, not caring how many 'pleases' you give me.”

”...I don’t want him to get hurt for something he couldn’t control, Erwin...” [Name] knew this was defeat. Without meaning to, a pout formed on his lips as he fixed a depressive stare on the floor. 

”He knows very well what he does,” he smiled, softly taking a strand of [Name]’s hair, looking at the assistant with fake kindness, “he knows what happens when he does these things, [Name]. It’s not his first time.”

[name] looks at him with a tint of scarlet on his face, trying to put a brave expression. ”C—Can I know what kind of punishment that is?”

”Nothing out of the ordinary— just some kind of things not too harsh.” Why was he so... interested and caring? They were nobody— disgusting things nobody wanted. The doctors only worked here for the money, and no one gave a shit about them. Yes, maybe some 'doctors' came with the 'I can change this place' attitude at first, but they gave in, or just ended with an unlucky fate. But this assistant... was different. He could feel it— he acted as a nuisance, like the others initially were. His caring attitude irritated him: him talking about them with a bright smile was disgusting— just seeing this beautiful assistant preoccupied about those nuisances, was deplorable. 

With a last try, [name] stared at him with pleading eyes. ”Can I at least see it...?”

“Of course you can’t,” he let’s out an amused laugh, “I’m surprised by your dedication to your patients, [Name]. You surely are one of the few workers who try to protect them this much.” Why are you like this?

”It should be normal! I mean— they need help, that’s why I’m here for!” He frowns, “I just... can’t stand the idea of them getting hurt because of my incompetence...” 

”Punishment doesn’t happen because of you. It’s because of their actions, and they sure will know how to cooperate once you see them again. All of this is for your protection, [Name].”

”But I don’t need protection!” Erwin’s amused expression along with his slight touch on his bruises shuts him down, “t—this was just out of my possibilities! There won’t be a next time!!” In all honesty, those marks were embarrassing. They were proof of his horrible work at handling the situation, and he promised to himself that next time was going to flow better— he just needed to see them at first hand to understand the motives of the outbursts. That's what his work was anyway— why were they so... uninterested?

The blond smiled. ”Of course there won’t be. I won’t allow that,” he caressed [name]'s face as if he was a small dog looking for attention. The assistant's eyes semi closed, tensing under the touch. His face redden, and Erwin couldn't resist laughing by such view. He looked adorable. "You sure are something else, [name]. You can go now, thanks for your cooperation,"

As he gets free from the other's touch, [name] shakily whispers a thank you and a see you later before walking away sheepishly. Being touched like that by one of your bosses was something embarrassing— he felt like a dog! Even if he liked being praised by Erwin, he had to be careful to not confuse his real motivations. Liking your boss was unfortunate— [name] believed he was an impossible man, after all. Also, he was... intimidating when he wanted.

”Oh, and about your payment,” he speaks with a kinder smile, making [name] turn at him with a flushed face, “you haven’t forgotten, have you?”

[Name] can only shake his head, too ashamed to talk. Being under the blond's touch was something else— the assistant felt warm and nice, two dangerous things to feel inside this office and for your boss. He didn't feel in control of anything; he almost looked like a small cat being protected and toss around by everybody.

”Good,” he steps back with a smile, “what does a cup of coffee sounds?”

”...Uh?” [Name] blinks, looking at his boss, dumbfounded by the question.

”I know a nice place. Sometimes our workers go there in their free time— nice coffee, too,” he returns to his seat, a pleased expression on his face, “well, it’s not as if you can refuse the offer, hmn?” He spoke with playfulness— like a child who got what he wanted in the end. This opportunity was something he was waiting for, after all; to know more about his favorite worker; to get closer and establish a nice, warm, solid relationship between them. Small steps; [name] was a small kitten he needed to handle to make him understand.

”I—I guess not...” [Name] didn’t expect such offer— well, he didn’t imagine something else. At least he thanked his boss wasn’t a perverted man who took advantage of his workers— [Name] wouldn’t have bear the sight of Erwin being that corrupted. Sighing, he showed a small smile, less stressed than before, “that sounds nice,” Imagining a date with your boss was embarrassing— even more when he was the one in charge of the whole building. [name] didn't know what to expect from this whole ordeal; how should he act? what should he eat? Being around Erwin was embarrassing enough, so being that close to him as a date meant more stress to his poor mental health.

”Fine, then. How does tomorrow sounds?”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

When he went inside his office, he didn’t expect to see Zeke sitting there with a serene yet irritated look on his face. It seemed he was waiting for him, as he wasn’t particularly doing anything but stare at the door in utter silence. [name] wished he wasn't there yet, but he remembered today wasn’t his lucky day at all.

His stare relaxes a little as he sees his precious assistant coming inside. Leaning back on his chair, Zeke speaks with his usual tone, but something is clearly different. “Good morning, [Name].”

The assistant didn’t waste another minute in answering. ”G—Good morning!”

The doctor waits a moment before speaking again, observing [name] every move. ”I tried to look for you yesterday, but it seemed you... left early.”

Again, another interrogation... ”...I did, yes.”

Zeke narrowed his eyes. ”Any explanation as to why? Usually you don’t leave before saying your cutes good byes.”

[Name] doesn’t speak at first. Scratching his hand, he didn't know what to say exactly— he didn't want to talk about the situation, but he knew everybody would make him talk. He didn't like that at all, so he stayed in silence as he stared at the floor with a frown. He had enough of this with Erwin— speaking everything that happens to him is not pleasing, and even if he’s thankful by their worries he doesn’t really need them! ...not that much.

”Anyway— I know what happened yesterday. Actually, I think we all did,” he gets up, approaching [name], “show me.”

[Name] shakes his head. He doesn’t want to— he knew everyone will make their way to see the bruises, but the assistant doesn’t like the idea. Why does everyone wants to see his failures? It only made him feel annoyance and disappointment in himself.

”[Name],” Zeke says his name as if he was speaking to a child.

The assistant complies in the end— he knows better than pushing Zeke's buttons. Pulling his collar down in silence, he looks at the ground to not see what kind of look Zeke has. Good thing— it’s not that the blond is showing an angry expression, but his eyes turn cold as he examines the horrible marks on his assistant.

Merciless and barbaric are the only ways Zeke can think of Reiner’s actions. He already knows [Name] didn’t get his way on Erwin to forgive the warrior— it’s painfully obvious. It could be almost two weeks until they fade away, possibly three. 

At least he is somehow thankful [Name] is still here with him, and didn’t had the same fate others workers had. Who knows what would have happened.

"No matter how many times I tell you, you can't stay out of trouble," he speaks in annoyance, "I can't leave you alone at all, it seems,"

"This was just an accident, sir! Reiner wasn't in control of himself!"

"Of course he wasn't, and he'll never be," he pinches the bridge of his nose, "accident? he knew very well what he was doing— how can you be this blind? Or do you perhaps fake ignorance for some strange reason?"

"I'm not faking anything!" he accidentally raises his voice, clearly upset by how his boss was talking about their patient, "I care about him like I do with others! ...Why—Why does this have to be a big deal when I get hurt...?"

"Why? Because you are my assistant, [name]. And I won't allow someone like them hurting someone like you."

"...Like them? T-They are human just like me, sir," [name] spoke with a firm tone, "They need our help, and if I get hurt in the process of helping them, then it shouldn't be a big of a deal every time I do...!"

"You really don't get it, do you?" the blond was irritated. Annoyed, upset, angered— his assistant clearly was someone much different than anyone in this disgusting place, wasn't he? Caring? Help? This place was filled by corruptness and vileness— there was no real help here; there never was, "you won't change anything about them. They will remain the same, we are just here to help them stay out of the trouble they cause in the world, [name]. Simple as that,"

It felt as if [name]'s hopes and dreams were shattered once for all. Hearing those horrible words coming out of his' boss mouth was awful and upsetting. [name] did believe in change; why nobody could see that? This place was like a Limbo to the patients; never going out? Taking their freedom forever? Yes, they caused horrible things, but [name] believed in change. He was here to help. "...I can help... I know I can,"

Stubborn as always. If he didn't like him that much, Zeke would have already throw him into the upper floors for his flesh to be teared away into pieces. But no, that wasn't allowed to happen— his assistant had to be with him at all costs, even if he was this obstinate. In fact, Zeke believed in change too. "You sure are a magnet of trouble— do you think being just a beginner, without any acknowledge, can change anything? This place is not a playground. And, if you don't remember, you were hired to be my assistant, not an independent doctor doing whatever he wants. So you go by my orders, even if you like them or not. So, if I order you something, you will do what I say. Understood?"

[name] tightly gripped his hands, embarrassed and ashamed. It was obvious he didn't like being scolded nor have conflict with his superiors; but no matter what, it seemed he always caused trouble for his boss.

"I said, understood?"

"...Yes, sir..." he answered with a sad tone, staring at the floor with a frown.

Gritting his teeth, the doctor didn't like one a bit how this was going. But this punch of reality was needed, even if it hurt his poor, little assistant's feelings. He had to see it was pointless— they were a waste of their time, and nobody could change who they really were. Sighing, the blond caressed a strand of [name]'s hair, "do you think I like scolding you? You are a capable adult— why do I need to be in your toes every time I leave you alone? You should know better than this— they are not children."

Hearing Zeke made [name] so ashamed— he felt as if he was a child again. "I—I didn't mean this to happen... I just wanted to help, sir..." He bit his lower lip, feeling horrible about the whole thing. He didn't feel comfort with Zeke's touch, knowing very well how he truly thought.

"You have to do as I say, kätzchen," he sighs, "I can't follow you everywhere to clean your mess— you are getting me in trouble with Erwin. You don't want that, do you?"

"O—Of course not, Zeke! That's not what I intent by any means!"

"Doesn't look like it, boy," Zeke sighs, leaving [name]'s hair to pass a hand trough his face, "alright— now that this is out of the way, I must tell you Reiner will face consequences, even if you don't want to. I guess Erwin spoke to you?"

[name] nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Very well. That will be all in the matter, then—"

”W-Wait! I just wish to know if he’s alright? I hit him really hard...” [Name] was horribly worried about Reiner. If that hit knocked him out, then it was obviously an injury, “I—I didn’t mean to hurt him like that! Really!”

Zeke lets out a snort. “You think a simple chair would kill that beast? Haven’t you imagined the things he has gone trough?”

”H—He’s not a beast! He’s a person!” [Name] frowned, staring at Zeke with a glint of sadness and desperation in his eyes. No matter what other people said about them, he would always think different about his patients, “you shouldn’t talk about them like that, sir— they feel just like us,”

Zeke sighs. “No matter how many times I tell you, you won’t understand. It seems you need to see something going horribly to trust me they have no future,” narrowing his eyes, the man sighed deeply in exasperation.

”They do have one! We just have to guide them, sir! But I can handle all of that,” [Name] shows a toothy smile, “that’s why I’m here!!”

This talk had made [name] open his eyes with who he worked with. It seemed not only Zeke, but others thought like him— he couldn't deny the eyes of his coworkers when he talked about his patients; the pity stares thrown at him. And then, there was Hanji's comments said back then; about them being 'her experiments'. Remembering these small things, made [name] realize he was the only one trying to solve something unsolvable.

It seemed this place wasn't what he imagined.

"What's with that face, kätzchen?"

[Name] didn't know if playing dumb was a good thing. "Uh— nothing! Just remembered I didn't bring my lunch again..."

Zeke narrowed his eyes at his assistant, clearly unsure about his explanation. [name]'s lips pressed in a thin line, trying to not see him in the eyes.

In the end, the doctor scratched his ear with a boring look.

"...What a clumsy assistant I have."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"As always, I'm behind the glass observing everything. Whatever may happen the guards are outside," Zeke explained once more, giving a dark look at the familiar guard outside the room— Vincent, who tried to suppress a smirk by the usual stares he got lately.

"Okay! No need to worry, everything will be fine!" [name] smiled proudly and nodded at Vincent as he received a wink in return, before entering the room. The last thing he heard behind him was a 'sure thing' from Zeke.

“Hello, Connie!” [name]'s cheerful voice echoed trough the room, making him cringe a little by the dead silence the room was filled in.

”I heard what happened,” said Connie, with what seemed a mocky smile plastered on his face. He looked like a child who knew your dirty secret and was ready to blackmail.

[Name] blinks, before sitting down. ”You did?” It seemed not only workers gossiped, but patients did too. News sure fly fast here.

”Eren and now Reiner? It’s surprising how you are still alive,” the patient rest the side of his face on his palm, looking at the assistant with a smirk, "maybe you are cursed,"

”That’s... comforting,” [name] knew those encounters were dangerous. He didn't want to believe it at first, but seeing how things worked here... it sure was something that made him unable to sleep at night. Quite terrifying. It felt as if you saw your friendly neighbor in the news because he was a serial killer for three years. He shivered.

”I thought he would break you like a twig! I don’t want to say that I'm amazed, because you haven’t seen anything yet.”

[Name] was curious about the experiences inside the asylum— realizing he didn’t know almost anything about where he was working, maybe some small questions drifting out of the main topic wouldn’t be that bad.

”Could you explain how it can get worse, Connie?”

”Much worse, obviously. Hadn’t they said anything to you?” He laughs, “useless much?”

“...Haven’t heard a single thing. Would you mind?” [Name] tits his head, showing a small smile. He knew Zeke would be commenting something about this question later.

The boy gets quiet, not interested in the topic anymore. "Nope, since it doesn't have to do anything with me," he chuckles, "let's talk about something better— me!"

...I wish to hear about what he had to say about it. But since Zeke is hearing everything, it seems I can’t do much about it. “I agree— today is for the two of us, as planned,” the assistant smiles slightly, “how are we feeling today? Has something happened lately?”

”I’m doing as great as always,” he shows a toothy smile, “the other day I won an uno game! Jean was a dumbass that couldn’t beat me— such a bad loser!” 

Connie’s laugh resonates the room. “Uhu hu— experienced uno player? That sounds dangerous! I would love to play with all of you some time. I’m sure you have fun games,”

Connie shrugs, “Meh— there’s always bad losers. One time Reiner threw a chair at Armin and he got a concussion because of it,” he grins as he remembers, “but— ohoho! Eren didn’t let him go! Reiner got the beating of his life, doc! Reiner is even scared of Eren since then! Can you believe such big guy scared of that crazy emo dude? Incredible, if you ask me!”

...Beating? “That doesn’t sound good— but please, Connie, none of you are crazy so don’t use such words to describe others. Don’t perceive others the way you don’t want to be perceived, okay?”

”Blah, Blah, don’t care. They don’t matter to me anyways— not worth the time,” he rolls his eyes, clearly displeased by the assistant’s words.

“Since they are not worth the time I give them, you are not, either?”

”...Ah? What are you saying?” Connie’s eyes narrowed, clearly unhappy about whatever nonsense [Name] was saying. 

”We all are equal, so we should get the same respect— that’s the most important thing as humans, don’t you think?”

”It seems you haven’t gotten something clear, doctor,” Connie rest his back on the chair, staring at [Name] with a blank, yet uncomfortable stare, “the thing is, we are not human anymore. We lost that right a long time ago.”

[Name] frowns. “That’s not true— you are human. You feel just like anybody; you think, you act, you live, don’t you? So, if someday told you were not human anymore that is a horrible lie.”

“Seems you are not aware. That’s surprising,” he yawns, his expression clearing, “I must say you are interesting. Even when you know everything I can do, you behave like a hero! But surprise, there were plenty before you! So don’t feel special.”

”That’s not what I intent.”

”—Anyways! The other day I played pocker with the others. Guess who won? Of course—”

”—Armin?”

Connie blinks dumbfounded, clearly irritated by the interruption. Nevertheless, he quickly answers with a glare. ”...?! Of course fucking not! It was me!”

For a couple of seconds, Connie resembled a child— a kid who pouted when things didn’t go his way. But [Name] saw trough that, and those furious eyes resembled a beast rumbling in the shadows, scared of being caught. [name] knew winning was a facade— he didn't win the games.

"Armin is a nobody— he doesn't matter at all. He doesn't even do anything! Useless as always," he looks irritated, "I don't know how Eren can even be in the same room with that good for nothing..."

[Name] blinks in a frown, displeased by the rude statement. Hearing such degradation of someone was not a good thing to hear, and [name] never felt comfortable hearing gossip back then. Unfortunately, he had to act professionally and not get controlled by his emotions. This place was different than in high school.

"...Perhaps you see yourself the way you see others," [name] whispered more to himself than for Connie, writing down on his clipboard. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed by the patient. Who frowned and narrowed his eyes at the assistant.

"As if! What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"Just thinking loudly, Mr. Springer. Maybe change will come when you acknowledge who you are, and accept that mistakes happen..." he hums, "just like you didn't win the game— that's alright, you know? Sometimes—"

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up!" the patient slammed his hands on the table, standing up with a furious expression plastered on his face. He gritted his teeth as he glared at the assistant like an animal; clearly, he was furious, "I didn't lose that stupid game! What the hell are you talking about!"

”Perhaps we should play a game to test your high skill, don't you think?" [name] tilted his head, liking his own idea. He surely had a plan for the game he was interested to evaluate.

Hearing this, Connie crossed his arm as he rested on the back of the chair. Narrowing his eyes, the patient tapped his forearm with his index finger, trying to observe any anomaly the assistant could have. It seemed games were one of his interests, as his furious demeanor disappeared quickly. "Why so sudden?"

"Well... sometimes is nice to play with someone with experience, don't you think? I love uno, so I don't see the problem,"

The patient considered the idea. To [Name], it didn’t seem done by any harm— the card game could be an experience to know more about Connie before doing anything. After a cold, heavy stare, Connie answered with a careless, mocking tone. "...Alright. Prepare to lose, you stupid fuck."

[name] chuckled, amused. "That's nice. But first, I have to ask permission to my superiors to play. Then, our next session will focus on some games."

"Blah, blah. Hey!" Connie suddenly turned his head at the glass, surprising [name] by the outburst. "you sick useless piece of shit! You WILL approve this game, if not, you are a FUCKER!"

That's totally not helping, Connie... Well, now the permission was going to be harder to get. "Maybe if we ask in another way we can get the green light."

"They don't deserve to be talked another way, doc. You reeaaaally are a dumb idiot to believe in these fuckers," Connie grinned at [name]'s stupidity. He lift up the middle finger at Zeke, who [name] could feel the stare he must have been giving, "well, looks like you are just a clueless rat... that's just funnier,"

At first, [Name] could have believed his word because of the thought of Connie despising the treatment— something somehow normal. An usual reason to shit talk your doctors… nevertheless, this time was different. Zeke’s talk made him realize doctor weren’t benevolent— weren’t understanding. [Name] didn’t know if all of them where like this; but even Erwin didn’t have compassion for anybody.

Knowing he was being monitored just as Connie, [Name] didn’t say a thing about the manner. It wasn’t as if he could gossip with his patients, anyway.

The next talks weren’t as much of impactful— just the usual “how do you feel?”, “what activities help you?”, “how is the medicine helping you?” Of course, Connie did little to nothing to answer them, but the last question. He only stated they made him sleepier than usual, even causing him some pain in his hands. [Name] noted this with bolder letters, not trying to forget to change them if possible. First, an examination and diagnosis would be needed on his part if authorized. Then, an investigation about what could pill would be better for him without damaging his health would be enough. If everything went the way he wanted, anyways.

"Looks like it's your time to be the dog," Connie said as he heard a bell ringing, "surprisingly you weren't such an boring shit like last time."

"I appreciate your compliments, Mr. Springer,"

"I will applaud you if you get here next time— who knows who else wants to know you."

Before [name] could reply, a tapping on the other side of the glass made him say his goodbyes and leave.

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Interesting session you just had," was the first thing Zeke could let out after witnessing such session. It was only time [name] wanted to do "schooling" to them. Idiotic. As he walked trough the hall with the guards behind, he snorted by how ridiculous this assistant was.

"Mr. Zeke, please forgive Connie! He just talks without thinking, so please understand him!" [name] tried to reason, embarrassed by the behavior as tried to keep up with his boss.

Zeke exhaled from his nose, perhaps irritated by the Mister, or the excuses his assistant was giving. "Connie, loves to denigrate others. Understanding is not a choice," there was a twitch on his eye, "and good luck asking me for permission for your little experiment,"

"Sir..." [name]'s face instantly saddened, not expecting such harsh act. "It's to know Connie better! Please, your permission is important to help him!”

"I have told you before. You won't change a thing, even if you do more than a hundred experiments,"

"I won't think negatively— it's their future. How can they be better if I don’t even have hope with what I do? It’s unbelievable!” [Name] shook his head, “this is not what I signed for… this is inhumane!”

“Perhaps it’s time to accept the real world, kätzchen,” he scratched his ear, “going around playing hero is not a good idea,”

[Name] could not feel exasperation at such thing— he was disappointed. “I’m not playing hero! I’m just trying to do my job, which is suppose to help others… Just, please, Mister! Give me the permission and you will see I can help them!”

Zeke only stopped his walking to stare at him with a clouded look. As if he was examining— observing. There was silence, the only source of sound being the chatter of others doctors in the hall. [Name]’s body felt heavy; his hands turned into fists by the anxiety and slight fear his mind and body fell in. A simple stare leaving him unable to breathe— he didn’t want to know how his bad side could look like. How did these men shut him off with a simple look?

Then, the blond turned to normal in a blink. Humming, Zeke rearranged his glasses carelessly, answering with a bored tone. “I’ll allow it,” before [Name] could celebrate his green light, Zeke interrupted him with his hand, “but with one small condition,”

[name] blinked dumbfounded. “…yes?”

”When you met Erwin, I want you to say something to him,” [name] couldn't see his eyes clearly— the lights of the hall reflecting on his glasses prevented him from doing so.

”…okay—! I’m listening!”

”You will say, straight to the eye, without stutter…” There was a smirk, missing it could have been easy if he wasn't paying close attention.

”Hmn?”

  ”Fuck off.”

.

.

.

”Ok—?! WHAT?!” [Name] stared horrified, “I can’t do that! Absolutely not! You will kill me!”

”You will do that, no objections. Also, I will know if you don’t do it. I assure you,” There seemed to be a ghost of a cruel smile on his face.

”I can’t do that, Zeke! That’s atrocious! Can’t I do something else!?” [name] could feel his whole body tense by just imagining doing such atrocious and embarrassing thing. Was he back to school without knowing? Who even where these people?

The doctor couldn't stop his chuckle, amused by the situation. If his dear assistant was going to be asking for permission, the he had the perfect excuse to make him do the things he wanted. After all, if such patients were so dear to him, then making him do stupid things as this was making him understand how much was worth wasting his time in such persons. ”Not this time. Perhaps I will think of something else next time,”

”Next time?! I don’t want to think about next time…” [name] facepalmed, already feeling sick. This... was not good. At all. He was only asking for something so simple as playing cards— why was Zeke making him a fool of himself in front of Erwin? With what purpose? He was only going to dig his own grave if this was current occurrence. "I don't understand, why would you make me do something like that?"

"Why not? This place needs fun every once in a while,"

"By making me the fool? That's not fair," [name] wasn't any pleased by being the one ruining his chances here.

"Perhaps I can be more forgiving next time," he didn't look at him, "sorry, kätzchen. This one is a selfish one of mine,"

"Not fair..." [name] could only frown at the ground, feeling betrayed and humiliated already. This wasn't funny for him at all— being used for such things was low. Just because he wanted to treat his patients like human beings? Uncalled for!

"This place isn't," the blond put his hands in his pockets, "but don't look too sad, [name]. Remember you are doing this for your patients— isn't that worth it?"

Those words only made him see trough Zeke's real intentions— of why he was being used as a joke tool. To use him to do such stupid, unfunny thing. Just because he wanted to play nice. [name] didn't want to hate— it was too much. But this... was unfair. Why was he being such a cruel person? If this was the easy 'condition', [name] wasn't ready of what was coming next. The thought made him frown in disgust.

[name] wants to reply, but then a mixture of whimper and yell is heard, along with meaningless shouting. The assistant looks back only to see an horrifying scene— a patient stabbing a doctor countless of times without any mercy. There's a fierce expression on his face— anger. And was he... smiling? 

[Name]'s whole body froze in shock by the sight. Crimson dirtying the white walls and ground of the hall, dirtying the people around— there are many shouts, cries and gasps. But [name] can only stand there, tensed as a rock, with terrified eyes opened like plates staring at the uncontrollable patient stabbing over and over who seemed to be a doctor. He couldn't even see where was he even stabbed— blood covered almost all of his body.

There was laughter— patients were around.

Guards who were already around ran to the patient, but it seemed he wasn't done doing a scene. Finishing his last act, he looked at everyone like an animal, until finishing his contest with [name]. The assistant flinched by meeting such... vile, dark stare. They were void of life, yet he could assure the man was living the best time of his life. Pupils dilated, a toothy grin, shaking body... what was making him alive was the adrenaline.

Then, he trow something— what he had on his hand. [Name] could only stare in horror.

W—What did he...?

"Look out!" Without doubt or thoughts in his mind, Vincent wrapped his arms around [name] and forced both of them on the ground, missing the flying knife just in time. The object graved on the wall with a loud and sharp sound, luckily not injuring anybody with how quickly and hard  was thrown.

[name]'s heart beats fast while he tightly closed his eyes, frightened. He gripped Vincent's clothes tightly, not sure if moving was a right choice. This time, the poor assistant doesn't know what to do; what to think. He leaves to Vincent that task.

Another guard immediately took the patient by the wrists and pinned him down, receiving yells and a fight from him. The unknown patient trashed around, trying to get free from the hold, thankfully not succeeding.

"How in THE FUCK does a patient got a knife?!" the blond furiously exclaimed, "first of all— who does this thing belongs to?"

Ignoring Zeke's yells, Vincent sat, guiding [name] to do so. The frightened assistant opened his eyes, shifting his stare to the wall where the knife resided. Then, to the doctor who was stabbed, laying on the floor. [name] could only hear his whimpers and grunts. There was so much blood... he felt sick on his stomach, almost wanting to gag. 

If it wasn't for Vincent, he too would be on the floor, agonizing.

"You okay?" Vincent softly asked, grabbing [name]'s face with his hands, looking worried. [Name] just nodded, out of it. The guard tried to avert [Name]’s attention from the horrible scene— there was a lot of blood on the floor surrounding the doctor. Vincent could feel the assistant’s terror, and as best as he could he tried to calm him down with a softer voice, “that’s nice— okay? Let’s get up— can you stand?”

As [Name] tried to, the terror he felt made him frozen in fear. He couldn’t move properly— his hands and legs were shaking horribly. Vincent, seeing his bad state, helped him stand by wrapping an arm around him tightly. "Breathe. Like this," the guard made an example, making [name] to look at him,"let's do it together, okay? One, two...."

The assistant tried to do his best, shakily exhaling and inhaling. He wasn't doing a good job, but Vincent seemed satisfied with it. "Good, [name], very good. Don't stop, ok? Let’s go to the infirmary to check on you,” he talked with such smile it made [name] calm a little bit. It was reassuring and Vincent felt so... safe. [name] couldn't stop himself and grabbed part of Vincent's uniform, closing the gap between them. He smelled like coffee, somehow working for [name] to escape the stench of blood filling the hall.

"[name]!" Zeke came into the picture, looking... irritated? "how are you? Let's go to the infirmary to properly check on you,"

Vincent didn't mean to, but moved [name] a little bit behind him, away from Zeke. “I can get him there, doctor.”

“Didn’t ask you to. Do you know first auxiliary? Are you a doctor? A nurse? I think not.” He glared, “I will get [Name], so if you may—“

[name] interrupted with a low, shaky voice, barely audible. “I–I think... I prefer V-Vincent getting me there, M—Mr. Jäger...”

“What?” Zeke narrowed his eyes, not liking this at all.

“He—He—“ [Name] tried to speak, “his company will help m–me a–a lot, right now...” he held Vincent’s clothes tightly, clearly not wanting to let go.

Zeke clenched his jaw, his unsatisfaction clearly showing. His assistant, his precious assistant, preferred being at the dirty hands of this man? Why? 

[Name] did notice the terrifying glare Zeke was giving, because he tried to hide like a child from his mother’s lectures behind Vincent’s back. The guard could feel the tension and the murderous aura the blond doctor showed, and the best thing to do, was leaving.

“Well then, Dr. [Last Name] and I will leave to the infirmary. Thanks for your preoccupation, but I will notify you of Dr. [Last Name] state until we finish.” Vincent carefully choose his words and spoke in a serious tone, not giving in under Zeke’s murderous glare. The guard knew this sudden change wasn’t just for disobeying orders— the doctor made it clear he disliked discipline, but there was a feeling on Vincent’s guts that said this was much more different.

Even when they were already leaving, Vincent could feel the glare on his back. It was until they were out of sight he sighed in relief.

“S–Sorry for getting you into trouble...” [name] didn't look at him, but at the floor.

“Everything for you, darling.” He kissed his forehead, showing his childish grin.

Back at the hall, Zeke could only watch in disgust as that guard left with what was his assistant. Dark thoughts filled his mind, not stopping any of it. Hatred is what he feels for that man— disgust is another. How and when did [name] got close to him? And under his nose...? Hmn.

Useless things need to be disposed.

"SAWNEY!" A familiar female voice shouted, followed with a shaky one. Zeke could not get more annoyed now realizing who this thing belonged to.

"W-Wait, Dr. Hanji!" Hanji's assistant, Moblit, quickly followed her behind. His expression of horror formed at the sight of what happened.

"Oh my! What did you do, my Sawney...?" Hanji spoke with a fake, sad voice. Kneeling beside him, she tried to approach him but the guards, as they looked at her in disgust, prevented her touch. "Let me hold my baby! He didn't mean to!"

The blond doctor stared at such display in annoyance— a normal occurrence with this crazy idiot when her things went out of control.

He needed a cigarette. 

But, as he was leaving, an authoritarian, harsh voice silence the hall instantly. A simple command that made all but him shiver and close their mouths like children who know what they did wrong. Zeke was amused, but not surprised by the sudden appearance of Erwin— after all, he was always observing.

He almost pity Hanji for what was coming for her. Almost.

Before leaving, a quick look at Erwin's passive aggressive expression was enough to almost make him snort, if he wasn't aware of his own set of feelings overcoming his mind.

  "Hanji Zoë. In my office right now."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Okay! It seems everything's in order!" Vincent showed a small smile, putting away a semi-wet napkin already dirtied in red. Cleaning away some blood that got on [name]'s face was nicely done, but unfortunately, some of it got on his coat. He hoped [name] didn't notice, but he knew the assistant was aware, "how are you feeling?"

Taking his time, [name] wasn't sure of what to say. Witnessing an attack like that wasn't everyday occurrence for him— something simple as yelling from his patients shook him enough, but watching with his own eyes how someone was deprived of life like that... it marked him. Just remembering how disgusting the place smelled, the amount of blood approaching his feet was enough to make him hastily grab the small trash can besides him and vomit. He felt Vincent's hand pat his back in an attempt of comfort, and he was thankful. 

Vincent hurriedly took a cup of water and gave it to him when [name] finished. The assistant couldn't met his gaze because of his embarrassment, but took it nevertheless. After washing his mouth the best he could, he tried to not see the mess he did to whoever that trash can belonged to. Feeling Vincent's hands on his shoulders, gently caressing him, made him feel a bit better about the whole thing tough— at least he wasn't alone.

"...Thank you," [name] said with a gruffly voice, sighing tiredly.

Nightmares were guaranteed tonight.

"It's nothing," Vincent let out a huff, "you have the right to get it all out, okay? Witnessing such thing is hard, so don't be hard on yourself,"

[name] knew, but he couldn't stop himself from asking such absurd question. "Is he...?"

Looked like Vincent didn't want to answer that question— his lips pressed in a thin line, a frown forming on his face. "...Most likely. That was... a lot," even if he had to see outburst in a daily basis, that didn't mean death was present in all of them. Seeing someone taking the life out of someone else in such rage... it always made Vincent afraid, "hopefully you don't have to... witness something like that again. To think a patient had a knife... I have no clue on how did he got his hands on that,"

[name] didn't either. Weren't they watched everyday at every hour? He didn't feel that safe anymore— perhaps paranoia would be a long companion in the next few weeks.

"What you did... thank you," [name] squeezed the guard's hand, his shoulders touching. [name] was a person who needed touch when he was in a bad state mentally— just the act of holding hands and staying at each other side was enough to calm him down. He liked Vincent, his presence did help him stay his cool, and he didn't say rude things about his wrong doings. "If it weren't for you I... m-maybe—!"

"Hey, hey," he hold his hand, caressing it with his thumb, "I was there to protect you, wasn't I? Didn't I promised you? I know you are scared, but remember I'm always looking out for you. Nothing will ever happen to you while I'm here, alright? It's valid to be unsure and afraid, but be sure I will be there."

Hearing such words, [name] let out a big sigh he didn't realize he was holding. It was reassuring hearing him promise something like that in a place like this— it made him feel... safe. Unconsciously, [name] rested his head on Vincent's shoulder. Closing his eyes, he grabbed tightly the guard's hand, as if fearing he would go. 

The guard squeezed back with a redden face. He looked away in embarrassment by the proximity, but didn't say anything.

A comfortable silence meet the room— but just like always, nothing was ever quiet here.

”[Name].” A voice is present, and both males look at the door to see Mike and Levi, who are staring intently at both of them with cryptic eyes. 

“H—Hi, Mike, Levi!” [name] quickly let go of Vincent's hands and left his side slightly by moving a bit further away. Vincent felt a bit upset by that, but understood. He also stood up without a word, leaving a bit of space between all of them.

There's silence. The ravenette approaches him, levi takes his chin and raises it slightly, wanting to see the harsh marks more clearly. They are greenish and purplish— and he can see how [Name] tenses at the slightest movement on his neck. 

Anger is not the word he can describe his emotions— rage? fury? He doesn’t know, but what he knows is that seeing those marks is surely infuriating. They looked disgusting, yet pleasing. He only wanted to hear [name] quiver and whimper by his touch— to remind him of his incompetence and naivety.

“What a deja vù,” Mike says— It certainly was. The only difference was the gravity of the attack, which was quite big. He asks worriedly, “do you feel alright?”

The assistant didn’t waste time in responding. “Of course I am!!! I’m totally fine, it was just a big scare!” Laughing nervously, [Name] tries to ease the tension; but not even him takes comfort in his words. His body tensed, his hands shook.

”Of course you are,” Levi says without believing him, touching a little bit the bruises. The assistant jumps by the pain and gasps, and the guard doesn’t keep his mouth shut by the cruel act.

”Hey! Please be careful, Mr. Ackerman,” Vincent doesn’t hold himself and speaks without thinking, yanking [Name] to him with a protector stance, “Dr. [Last Name] is not alright, even if he says so. Touching his bruises is not needed,”

Levi narrows his eyes at him, glaring in disgust, “you think I don’t know that, filthy guard? We all know this inept assistant can’t stop himself in going into trouble— and lying about something we all can see is fucking idiotic.”

”I believe Dr. [Last Name] doesn't want to hear such things in his state, Mr. Ackerman. Please, have empathy.”

[name] gets up, trying to ease the whole thing. ”N—No—! It’s okay, Vincent. It’s— it’s the truth. I’m being useless by going into trouble. I should know how to handle these things, I’m sorry.”

It was then that Levi caught a glimpse of red on his coat. How disgusting. "Looks like you get into whatever mess you can," he sent a short look at the blood, crossing his arms. Maybe it was because there were more people in the room, maybe it was his repulsion, but he did stopped himself from giving [name] a piece of his mind. He wanted to say how unable he was of taking care of himself; how utterly weak he would always be, "always needing someone to clean your shit. How disappointing," 

"And what now? A guard sticking his nose where it doesn't belong?" he sent a glare to Vincent, who didn't have a problem holding the stare contest, "know your place. You are here to work, so get out and work, before I take this shitty job away from you."

He is really angry... [name] thought. He gave a slow nod at Vincent, knowing he wouldn't leave easily if he didn't respond. Nevertheless, he knew the guard wasn't satisfied at all, noticing how annoyed he looked.

"Understood, sir. Have a nice day," he said before leaving, almost talking trough his teeth. [Name] felt bad being the one causing all of this, but he really couldn't do anything.

"That isn't going to come out easily," Mike signaled the stains, looking a them with a frown. [name] stared at them too, lost in thought.

"...Yeah, I know," well, he was already imagining himself trying to wash this tonight. Good thing he wasn't that close, but the mere thought of someone's else blood on his clothes made him ill again. "Wish me luck, tough," he showed a weak smile, trying to ease himself.

Levi just stared with a frown, not understanding his pathetic display. He looked pitiful— his hands shook, he was pale as fuck, his hair had become a mess, his coat had blood, his bruises made him look like he was out of his mind, and yet, that pathetic, miserable smile was enough to annoy him. That stupid smile that made him look like... his usual idiotic careless self. What made him, him. 

"You look like you are going to faint," Mike plainly stated, making [name] sit down once again. "I think you should go home already— I will notify Erwin so there's no need to worry."

"I-It's alright, I don't feel that bad!" just the idea of leaving job unfinished made him feel even worse. He had work to do! Even if he saw someone d...die... "I-I can just stop wearing my coat for t-today—" the images of the doctor on the ground surrounded by thick blood didn't make him feel less ill. He covered his mouth as he retched, breathing a bit erratically to stop himself of throwing up again. Mike's hand guided his head to look at the ceiling, saying it was not good to look down.

"Yeah, I don't think so," he touched [name]'s forehead, humming, "I think you are going to get sick, [name]."

"S-Sick...? But I can't! I have too much to do! I refuse to be sick!!!"

"Not something you have a say, I'm afraid."

"I refuse, Mike!!!"

"What a brat, talking to his elders like that," Levi could not just silence himself at such childish demeanor. 

"Ah—!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way!!"

The air seemed to lighten a bit, thankfully. Mike chuckled, loving this side of [name]. It was a nice change around this place— he looked pretty cute, too. A smile he wanted to protect. "Anyways, jokes aside, you really don't look good. And I know you don't feel good, so for the best you should call it a day."

"Give me that," Levi gestured the coat in disgust, "I will take care of it. I know you will not do shit to those stains, and you will look disgusting if your lazy ass leave them. So give that shit to me and for my sake, will clean that."

"W-What?! You can't do that!" [name] shook his head with a redden face, "I--I can do it, sir! T-There's no—"

"I didn't ask you, brat. Give it to me before I tore it out of you," with this, [name] couldn't just say no. He obeyed, like a good boy. Thankfully it wasn't that bad, but the stains were noticeable, so they needed to be gone. Of course, someone like [name] didn't know how to clean the blood out of fabrics, but Levi did. "And yes, you indeed look like shit."

"But how can I just leave...?"

"There's a front door."

"Hahaha... not funny..."

"I believe Levi here will accompany you there, since I'm going to notify Erwin of your absence for today and tomorrow. So don't bash your head because of that," Mike stated, getting some strands off of [name]'s face, gently caressing his forehead, "and I believe you are not strong enough right now to walk by yourself. So give yourself some care and obey."

"Nice. More unnecessary work, fucking tree."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

While the two walked trough the building, [name] could not stop feeling bad about making Levi do things he shouldn't be doing in the first place. He looked down in misery, pouting. "I'm sorry, sir... I didn't mean this to happen."

Levi just stared ahead with his neutral yet annoyed face. "Me neither,"

As they finally got to the entrance, [name] showed an apologetic smile. "Well, thank you for your help! We will see—"

"What the hell are you rambling about?" Levi narrowed his eyes, "you think you are capable of walking in this shitty state? I thought you could think with that head of yours, but actually I didn't."

[name] blinked, confused. "Uh?"

"I'm giving you a ride, brat. What else?" Levi stated as if was obvious, letting out a low I'm not that kind of bastard. He opened the doors to leave, [name] following behind him.

This time [name] felt even worse. "B-But that's just too much! I'm fine to walk! Really!"

"I'm just going to ignore your rambling and get to the car. I advice you to do the same." He said with a harsh tone, done with the whole ordeal. "or should I wait for you to faint and get you inside,"

"I... I'm sorry you have to do all of this,"

"Christ, you are making it sound like this is hell," he raised an eyebrow at this, "making a big deal out of this... ridiculous. Just get in the car."

But [name] didn't. He stood there, looking at the ground in shame. His whole day was already ruined to begin with, but this was the icing on the cake. He felt utterly worthless, and relying on others is what made him more upset. He didn't mean this, really.

Nevertheless, even if Levi wanted to say he was being a dumbass, he could see how upsetting [name] was getting. He looked like he was going to cry, for fuck sake. Sighing, he prepared his next words to finish this whole ordeal, relaxing his shoulders."Look," [name] slightly raised his head, looking like a child, "I'm doing this because I want to. Like hell I'm going to be following someone's else orders, even less if they are from that ugly tree. You do look like shit, and I'm not..." he stopped himself, unsure, but kept going, "I'm not going to be satisfied until I sent you home myself, alright? So stop giving me that st-- that look, and get in the damn car."

[name] blinked, once again. This was... one of the first time Levi was being honest with him— and he did noticed how he held himself back to appear less... harsh. Sometimes, [name] believed Levi saw him as a nuisance. But this... made him think otherwise. Perhaps Levi only said rude things to him but didn't mean them that much. Nevertheless, he felt lighter with this confession, or to be precise, he felt a bit happier. His smile was genuine this time, Levi could tell. "...Okay."

This brat... making me say shit like this. Thankfully, the ride was filled with comfortable silence— [name] fell asleep quickly, and Levi was content enough.

So cute...

Reiss Mental Asylum / 6

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

6

Today [Name] would do his sessions alone— Zeke was busy with others patients that [Name] didn’t have to help with, and Erwin was occupied with meetings. So, that left the young assistant all alone, not that he complained. He knew the two males wouldn’t be with him all the time, and he had familiarized enough with the place.

However, his session would be in a hour, leaving him with a few minutes to spare. Now that he think of it… was there anything else to work with…? Certainly, he had some paperwork Zeke gave him that had to be done. With no much thought, the young male headed to his office, greeting and nodding the workers who he come across with.

Entering the office, [Name] opened a drawer from the desk, taking folders and papers. Sitting down on one of the seats —Zeke brought another seat for his assistant—, he began to read the papers carefully. However, the [hair color]-haired male couldn’t stop his mind to wonder about something in particular— the handcuffs Jean had.

For now, he was the only patient that had them, and Zeke didn’t explain why he did. It was something that bugged him— if someone with Bertolt’s background didn’t have them, then why Jean did? He wasn’t violent by any means in his first session just like Bertolt —excluding the kiss and the hug, obviously—, and [Name] couldn’t stop his thoughts to ask why his boss didn’t explain it. And well, he hasn’t…

The young man shacked his head, “stop thinking unnecessary things! Maybe it’s nothing at all, you are wondering too much, [Name]...” Sighing, he returned to his work, finally deciding to let the topic rest for now. Even if the situation seemed a little off, he believed Zeke would explain when he wanted.

Taking the patient’s file, [Name] carefully read;

Connie Springer. The patients gets aggressive when nurses try to get close for the medication; violent outbursts are guaranteed in these scenarios. Strangely, his behavior seems calmer with certain doctors around. However, first meetings don’t guarantee the patient’s trust and serenity.

He hide his insecurity nature with his false confidence; trait unfortunately gained when he was young. His parents lack of attention since childhood took an effect on him. The excessive criticism, insensitive parenting were usual behavior of the parents against him, developing a narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality behavior.

Unfortunately, his school experience wasn’t good either. Students often harmed him physically and mentally— situation that affected negatively on his trust on others.

All of these examples made Mr. Springer snap from his sanity and do the unthinkable— murder his own parents and siblings.

Murder…? Wide-eyed and lips pressed in a thin line, [Name] had to read the last sentence a few more times to believe it. He was quite surprised of it— yes, he met Bertolt, who was forced to do violent acts, actions that deteriorated his mental state. The [eye color]-eyed assistant felt sympathy for Connie— the murder could have been prevented, but he never got help. Something inside [Name] shifted in anger; and even if reading he murdered his own family was quite shocking, he couldn’t stop himself to be… sad for him.

The door suddenly opens, snapping [Name] from his attention on what he just read, “Hey, dipshit, Roman told me to—” the voice abruptly stops when he notices the one he wasn’t looking for. “You are not dipshit.” Levi blinks, frowning.

“Dipshit…?” [Name] blinks, thinking who he might be referring to. “A-Are you talking about Dr. Jaeger…?”

The ravenette snorts, “yes, I’m talking about four-eyes. Where is he anyways?”

“He told me he was going to meet with other patients, didn’t tell me exactly where or who, sorry.”

The short man hums, thinking about something, “that means you are alone for the day?” Impressive he’s still here unharmed. The assistant nods, and Levi notices his nervousness showing by his comment.

Now that I think of it, four-eyes is always with him. Levi wasn’t an idiot— Zeke had displayed some… strange behavior when he was with his assistant, even if the blond doctor tried to hide it. For instance, in their first meeting with [Name], Levi could catch how irritably the man glared at Mike, who was very close to the assistant And also, he couldn’t suppress a smirk seeing how flustered he got when he saw [Name] with the disgusting sauce all over his mouth.

He stopped a laugh from coming out, thinking about the blonde’s true feelings for his assistant. It’s not a secret that Levi doesn’t like Zeke a little too much. The doctor himself and everyone else absolutely knows— and the ravenette makes sure he knows.

Resting his shoulder on the door’s frame, the shorter male carefully eyed the quiet assistant. Levi didn’t know what it was that Zeke liked from this newbie— his attitude seemed weak and shy. The assistant was very polite, too… Maybe it was his looks?

“How’s it been here? Any problems?” Levi asked, his mind still thinking about the other’s attention to the male in front of him. Maybe  four-eyes was captivated by the soft gaze the other had?

“Not at all! Uhm… well—” [Name] own interruption was because he remembered his… “scene” with Bertolt not too long ago. He felt his own face warming, thinking of it. The ravenette noticed this.

Blinking, Levi asked, “what? Did an intern hurt you?” He didn’t exactly see an injure in [Name]’s body— not in visible places, at least. An eyebrow raised when he saw the other’s instantly denying it, his two hands shacking in front of him.

“No, no! Not at all! It was just… a close encounter. That’s all.” [Name] didn’t think it was the best to tell the truth. It was a little embarrassing to say a patient kissed you on the lips. No way he was going to tell that! It was unprofessional— a mistake for his part. “Nobody has been aggressive towards me!” he reassured.

Levi was amused. The younger male has been with three patients of what he knows, and he hasn’t been harmed unlike other doctor and nurses that first came here, just like [Name]. The ravenette deduced he was talented in some way, or just really lucky.

“Are you getting patients of upper floors?”

“Upper floors…? Uhm…” [Name] blinked, trying to remember the floors he meet his other patients. Armin was in a lower floor, Jean in the upper, Bertolt upper… “Two. But why is that important?”

He really doesn’t know this place. “No reason.” He tried to change the subject, “when and with you is your next session?”

[Name] took a look at the clock, and turned again. “In fifteen minutes with… Connie Springer.”

Springer… “Then you should get going. Clean all of your shit on the desk, it looks messy.” He ordered, hearing a stutterly “y-yes, Mr. Ackerman!” from the assistant. The ravenette only stood there, watching [Name]’s clumsy movements, trying to deduce the earlier thoughts he had about him. What did shitbeard look on him? “Let’s get going.”

[Name] stopped his actions, “are you… accompanying me?”

Rolling his eyes, Levi snorts. “Didn’t you hear me? I said let’s get going. Upper floor, I suppose?”

Nodding, [Name] stays in silence, unsure of what to do.

“What are you waiting for? Come on.”

The two left the room and walked in silence to the upper floor, until they stop in front of a door with two guards standing. Levi nods to them, and begins to walk away, and says, “see you in a few minutes.”

。。。。。

“Hello,” [Name] greets with a smile, as he opens the door, instantly catching the attention of a young man, who expression isn’t that joyful, and the assistant can catch the handcuffs he has. “I’m [Name], Dr. Jaeger—”

“Don’t care.” He interrupts. Glaring at the assistant, he proceeds, “and I know you don’t, either way.”

Not good, uh? No worries. “I certainly do. I’m here to help you, Mr. Springer.” He sits, smiling. Looks like Connie doesn’t seems reassured by it, though. “This is just a first meeting, to know each other!”

“I don’t want to know you.”

“Well, I do want to know you! Maybe we can talk about whatever you like, Connie.” [Name] smiles,

“I don’t need anybody!” Connie suddenly yells, slamming his hands on the table. [Name] jumps by the loud noise and fast movement, “I never needed anyone and I don’t need you!”

Closing his eyes, [Name] softly smiles. Though. “We need each other.” The sudden statement quiets the patient, and he looks at [Name] in confusion by his calm demeanor. “I need you, and you need me. Everything will work out in the end if the two of us help each other, Mr. Springer.”

The door slowly opens, revealing a guard pecking in, “do you need help here, doctor? We heard a loud noise.”

Shacking his head, the assistant answers, “there’s no need, thank you.” The guard nods, closing the door. [Name] turns his head to see Connie, who is quiet and thoughtful. He is frowning, but looks like he is considering the comment.

“I did what I have to do. They couldn’t see how great I was.” He whispers. “Nobody could see it— but I do. I don’t regret it.”

“I know you don’t.” [Name] didn’t exactly showed it, but the statement sent down his spine. He tried to hide it by staying still and unbothered, don’t knowing if he succeeded. “May I ask why?”

The patient snorts, “no, you may not.” He smirks, “we should talk more about me and not them.”

“Alright then. Let’s talk about Mr. Springer.”

“Finally someone appreciates my greatness on this stupid place!” He laughs, “maybe you aren’t that bad after all, doctor.”

The talk wasn’t that bad— Connie calmed down with the change of topic. [Name], like he thought at first, concluded Connie loved talking about himself and his achievements, just like another patient [Name] meet not to long ago. The assistant dropped some questions about his family to make sure the change of demeanor on the patient; and certainly, Connie’s anger showed instantly at the mention of his past actions.

The assistant didn’t exactly have a clue about what was Connie thinking. Yes, he was talking about himself like a mighty person, but his mind was thinking about the assistant. Finally someone who was not boring like the old doctors he had in the past. This one looked like he actually seemed competent enough to have interest on him— and like he said, he needed him.

He was needed.

The assistant looks a the clock and notices his time is over. Turning to the patient —who is still talking—, [Name] speaks, “It seems the session is over, Mr. Springer. This was a great talk.” The [hair color]-haired male stands up, and gives a smile that isn’t very well received.

“What? I don’t want you to go!” Connie’s voice gets higher, “you need me, remember?” Connie’s thoughts go overdrive; the doctor needs him, right?!

[Name]’s eyes widen, along with his mouth slightly open. But he remembers instantly the patient’s real feelings, and composes himself. Clearing his throat, the assistant speaks, “I said we need each other, Connie.” [Name] tries to calm him down, “I promise I will return soon. Sooner than you thought.”

Connie looks unsure— lips pressed and a frown are present on his face. It’s evident he doesn’t want him to go. [Name] patiently waits for an answer, “whatever. You will get sooner or later, after all, you are interested.” Connie smirks, and [Name] laughs.

“Sure thing, Mr. Springer.”

I’ll be waiting. After all, you said you need me.

。。。。。

“Done?” A voice says, making [Name] turn in surprise. He finds Levi, resting his back on the wall. The assistant nods, “let’s go then.”

“How was it?” Levi asks, looking ahead.

[Name] thinks for a moment— well, it could have been worse if Connie decided to let his emotions take control. “It was alright, he didn’t yell that much!”

Levi hums, “did you bring food this time?”

The young male keeps quiet and looks away in shame. “U-Uhm…”

“Unbelievable.”

。。。。。

Entering the cafeteria, the two instantly saw Mike already waiting. He waved, [Name] doing it in return too. Levi said to the assistant to sit with him, while he grabs his food and returns.

[Name] sits with Mike and smiles, “Hello, Mr. Zacharias!”

The taller man chuckles, “Just Mike is fine.” He takes a sip from his coffee, “nice to see you again. How has it been?”

“It’s been nice! Dr. Jaeger’s help has been huge. Mr. Smith’s too.”

Mike closes his eyes and smirks, “I bet.” The assistant blinks, tilting his head by the answer. Before he can say anything, Levi returns with the food, placing it on the table.

“Sucks for you if you don’t eat bacon.”

The taller male raises an eyebrow, “you didn’t bring lunch again?” the question gains a blush from the young man, shacking his head while he looks down in shame.

“This brat is clueless. Don’t expect us to share ours for  you everyday, airhead.”

“I’m sorry! That isn’t my intention by any means!” [Name] shakes his hands in front of him in denial, eyes widening and blushing. Seeing his gestures, Levi smirks, and Mike laughs.

“He’s just joking, [Name]. We don’t mind.”

“Speak for yourself.” Levi takes a bite of his sandwich, and he certainly catches his own liking by playing the assistant like this. He tries to hide his smirk while eating, succeeding.

“It’s not often I see you eating sandwich. You did it?” Mike asks, turning to Levi.

“Petra did it for me. Was going to ask Moblit to do it for me but she appeared out of nowhere and insisted. Not bad, though.”

Mike smirks, “I see she’s trying to get notices with food.” The comments gets a snort from the ravenette, who doesn’t say anything. [Name] simply looks confused but tries not to pry or ask, but Mike can see the young male’s lost expression. “Petra works in the same area Levi does, not his assistant, but she’s always helping him.”

Nodding, [Name] hums, “I see. Guess I haven’t met her yet.”

The ravenette takes half of his sandwich and hands it to the assistant, “here.”

Blushing, [Name] stutters, feeling bad. “I-I don’t want to take it, thanks!” He tries to say, but it looks like the ravenette is not buying it.

“Am I not your superior? Shit, this brat is more disobedient than I thought. Wonder how four-eyes works with you.”

[Name] instantly takes the food, flustered and embarrassed, “I will take it! Thank you, Mr. Ackerman!” He exclaimed, and immediately busies himself with the food, gaining a smirk from Levi and a laugh from Mike.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Anyways, [Name], how did you find the asylum?” Mike asks.

Gulping, the younger male answers, “I found an ad on the newspaper— actually got an answer right away!”

The taller man hums, closing his eyes. “I see.”

The rest of the talking is quiet, Levi and Mike chatting pleasantly with [Name]. They learn the assistant is not far from the asylum in a department building nearly outside the city.

“Is it full?” Levi asks.

“Not really. The building isn’t… in the best conditions, hehe.” [Name] nervously laughs, “there aren’t many people on the building, so it’s quiet.”

“So you don’t interact with your neighbors?”

“I do, actually. Only with a guy that is near my age, and a old lady that lives upstairs, but my other neighbors aren’t that… friendly.”

“I see.”

“Looks like lunch time is over,” Mike states as he sees the clock, “I have to met with Erwin right now. It was nice to talk to you, [Name]. See you soon.” He says, waving at the assistant, who waves in return with a smile.

“Need to go too. I don’t have free time now.” Levi says, “see you later.” He waves one time, and then leaves.

The assistant smiles— it seems being here would not be that bad, actually. He leaves the cafeteria, and spends his time on working on paperwork.

。。。。。

His shift is over. The assistant says goodbye to the workers he sees in the halls, and walks trough the path where the stop is. Sitting down, [Name] thinks of how his day went— it was… certainly normal. He couldn’t see or talk to his boss today, but that wasn’t much of a problem thanks to Levi’s and Mike’s help. He didn’t feel alone or stressed.

His mind was filled with thoughts of the patient, that he didn’t notice a black car stopping just in front of where he was, waiting on the bus stop. Until the unknown person lowered his window, and he honked, making [Name] jump in fear.

The young man lifted his gaze to meet the silver-gray ones, along with a smirk on his face— instantly recognizing it was Levi. “S-Sir?” Was he going to tell him something? Did he forgot anything?

“Get in the car.” The ravenette plainly ordered, unbothered. When he didn’t see the other moving, his eyebrow raised, “what? Never got a lift?”

“I-It’s alright, sir! I-I can wait for—”

“I said get in.”

[Name] was troubled— the idea of getting a lift was nice, but he didn’t want to bother him. But, it was him who decided to do it, right? It couldn’t be that bad anyways. “A-Alright.” He said, awkwardly getting in the car.

The interior looked impeccable— the car seemed brand new! There was a scent of mint, too. “Thanks a lot! Y-You didn’t ha—”

“It’s not a problem.” The car began to move, and an awkward silence overcome. “Where was it?” He asks, receiving a response with the address.

[Name] is busy looking down, his hands on his lap. There’s silence again, but the ravenette is fast enough to break it.

“Did you see four-eyes at all?”

“I couldn’t, unfortunately. Did you?”

Levi hides a smirk from appearing when he remembers how frustrated the blond doctor looked when he couldn’t even see for a second his precious assistant. He even grunted when Levi said he had lunch with him along with Mike, catching clearly the jealously coming from him.

“Yeah. He looked like shit as always.”

“I-I see…”

The car stops in front of a building— it looks old and not that clean. So that was he was talking about “not in the best conditions”. The building is the only one in the place, as it is surrender by shops a little far away from it. There’s absolute silence.

“Thank you and sorry for the trouble, Mr. Ackerman. I really appreciate your help.” The assistant smiles and opens the door to leave.

“Levi is just fine.” The ravenette speaks, “and I said it wasn’t trouble at all. Don’t get comfy, thought.”

“O-Of course not!” The younger says, flustered. He exits the car and closes the door. Clearing his throat, he speaks, “see you tomorrow, Levi.”

“Sure.” Is the only thing Levi says, watching [Name]’s form walking to the building. When he gets to the door, the assistant turns and waves at him, which Levi only nods in return. [Name] enters the building. disappearing from his sight.

The ravenette stays there for five minutes, gaze locked in the door the other went in. He can’t stand him living in this filthy building— so disgusting.

He begins to slowly drive away from the building.

Not that bad. He certainly has something I can’t see…

For now.

this is the best timeline

no thoughts, just the aot sanrio collab

I want to read your "Kisses [Various x Male!Prettyboy!Reader]" but seems like there's no URL found.... I was searching the title on your page but none appeared.. May i ask for you to send the link when you post my ask? Thank you in advance!

hi! i made it private in most of my accounts but my ao3, so you can read it there! spoiler alert: is cringe and horrible T0T but go ahead ;w;

also, i know this ask is old as hell. im very sorry!

I have read it and it’s awesome! (So are your other series)

Oh my thank youuu!!! 😭😭😭😭 im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ♡