REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / １２

Reiss Mental Asylum / １0

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

"Please, faster~!"

A moan is heard— skin against skin, grunts, gasps. He tightly grabs [Name]'s legs, holding them up. The tight hold leaves bruises, but the smaller man doesn't care— it feels so good, pain and pleasure feels wonderful, a bliss.

"So tight... Fuck!" He grunts, hastening the pace, making his love moan loudly, saying his name between his whines. The sound only makes him excited and messy, as he shifts [Name]’s body to thrust him deeper. The pretty boy whines by the sudden stop. He makes him lay on his side, raising his leg up as he forcefully enters him again without notice, making [Name] arch his back in pleasure as he feels his sweet spot being abused.

“Say my name. Scream it— tell me you are mine.” He demands, his movements less gentle and more dominant. His hold pressing harder the soft skin, making it red. The petite boy moans his name between his whimpers, unable to say something else by the amount of pleasure he’s feeling. That doesn’t satisfy him, as he stops his thrust deep inside [Name]. “I won’t move until you say it, love.”

The smaller male pleads, saying his name, but as much he loved hearing and seeing such gorgeous display, he is desperate of hearing who he belongs to; who he is allowed to be touched by.

“I—I belong to you... I’m yours...” [Name] barely speaks, patting loudly. His teary eyes and flustered face only makes him riled up, and without warning his fast pace awakens. The pretty boy moans, saying he won’t last long.

His’ eyes express possessiveness, but something darker can be caught in them. He only has eyes on him— enjoying every bit of his beautiful form being marked by him and no one else. He was truly his, forever. “I love you so much...”

He shifts [Name]’s body on his chest on the bed, harshly holding his hips bruising them instantly. He can catch between his love’s moans and whimpers saying he will come, unable of formulating words by his current state. He smirks, hugging protectively the smaller form, hardly taking his chin to turn at him and kiss him roughly, [Name] moaning his name between the heat up kiss as both come together.

And then, he wakes up abruptly by the sound of an alarm. Grunting irritated, he sits on the edge of the bed with a clear bulge on his pants. He looks at it irritably, but then remembers the sweet dream he had with his beautiful [Name], changing his upset expression with a smirk.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Hello, Bertholdt! Hope you are having a nice morning!” [Name] smiled brightly as he opened the door of his cell room. The patient’s face instantly brightened as he heard the angelic voice of his beautiful doctor. “According to our schedule, today we are gardening. It’s my first time doing it, so please excuse me if I do a mess!”

Bertholdt blushed deeply, unknowing what to say or do. A big contrast of his behavior the other day. [Name] could notice his awkwardness, as he chuckled a little as he approached him but still gave him space. “Did you have breakfast already?” The assistant gently asked, receiving a nod for an answer. He clapped his hands, grinning, “okay then! Let’s go.”

[Name] lend his hand, waiting and wondering if Bertholdt would take it. The taller male, who was still sitting on his bed, felt unsure at first. He felt his heart was going to explode by just being this near around him. Gulping, he shakily took the gentle hand, making [Name] smile. The brunette stood and followed [Name] as he guided him outside the room.

The assistant locked the door and walked alongside the patient, hand in hand. There was a silence [Name] didn’t mind, he talked about anything and everything as he just greeted with a nod the various workers he passed in the way. Bertholdt just nervously looked at the floor, his cheeks blushed in scarlet as he sometimes stole a few glances on the assistant.

He was utterly in love with him— he was gentle and nice to him. He couldn’t believe he was holding hands with him! The assistant made him feel like... a normal person. When he was normal and felt loved. When Bertholdt thought he was going to die in this horrible place, [Name] appeared just like an angel, brightening his path. He was beautiful, gorgeous, pretty...! The brunette couldn’t think more things to describe him, as there couldn’t be explained with words.

[Name] turned to see him with a smile, and the brunette blinked in surprise and look away instantly. The assistant was going to say something, but someone caught his attention, as Bertholdt didn’t feel his gaze on him no more.

“Hey, Vincent!” [Name] greeted happily, instead of just greeting this stranger with just a nod, like everyone else he was greeting. “How’s your morning going?”

“Amazing now that I saw you.” Vincent stated with a grin, making [Name] slightly blush and shake his head with a small smile. The guard felt warm and happy as [Name] didn’t reject his “compliment”.

On the other hand, a certain patient was disgusted by the scene. A frown was plastered on his face, and he was grabbing [Name]’s hand a little too tight. Who was this disgusting devil?

The assistant could feel the sudden change on Berhtoldt demeanor quickly. “W-Well, Berhtoldt and I were going to the garden— see you later, Vincent.” [Name] offered an apologetic smile as Vincent could see the glare the patient was giving him— more like a deadly glare.

“You sure? I mean, I can accompany you…” He stole some looks at the taller patient, who face was darkened in a... unsettling way.

“Don’t worry! Bertholdt and I are going to be perfectly fine!” He chuckled nervously, already walking away from Vincent as he waved with his free hand. Vincent only stared with narrowed eyes as they left, the tall patient’s darkened face still on him.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“You don’t have to worry, you know? Vincent is a great guard and seek for our protection, including yours.”

Bertholdt remained with his frown, not believing that statement at all. That was a lie— sometimes the guards crossed their boundaries and beated them more than they were allowed when they had their breakdowns.

They deserve what happens to them.

They were disgusting devils; all of them. They didn’t deserve to touch his angel with their nasty hands.

[Name] gently squeezed his hand, taking his attention. Bertholdt’s glare was still present, his body tensed. The assistant knew his’ thoughts were on the guards, so he thought switching the current topic to their current task would be a nice move.

“Let’s go water the plants! Maybe you can show me which are you taking care of.” He showed a warm smile, walking deep into the garden hand in hand with Bertholdt. He could feel the grip softening, and seeing his shoulders relax made [Name] let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t know how Berthtoldt’s outbursts were like— but he imagined they weren’t easy to handle. He was taller and stronger for him— breaking him would be as easy as breaking a branch.

[Name] shuddered at the thought. Bertholdt looked unsurely at him, confused. “Hehe, I think is a little cold here!” [Name] tried to dismiss.

Fortunately [Name] wasn’t going blind to the ‘gardening therapy’. Zeke had explained to him what the usual stuff the patients had to do; usually doctors didn’t intervene, they were there to take notes and observe. [Name] was unsure to follow that.

Basically, patients have plants they care of. This to reduce their stress and anxiety— unfortunately, some patients weren’t fond of doing these sessions. But fortunately, Bertholdt was interested in them.

The two of them took two flowers— a sunflower and a red rose. As this was going to be his first time in gardening, [Name] wanted to share the same occupation as Berhtoldt in helping taking care of the flowers. The assistant could see the surprise in the brunette’s face— the patient was used to his doctors being silent through the whole thing.

He was really precious, wasn’t he?

Both of them kneeled whit the flower in their hands. But Bertholdt wasn’t giving any attention to the flower— his attention was for [Name]. His beautiful smile, his soft gaze... he was perfect. A perfect angel sent just for him.

“I adore you.” Bertholdt spoke, loud enough for the other to hear.

“Uh?” Turning confused, [Name] was met with something warm on his lips— Bertholdt’s ones. The taller male hold [Name]’s face with both hands and closed his eyes, while the assistant’s eyes were widened and froze in shock.

This wasn’t like the small peck he received before— no, Bertholdt was going in. His tongue played with his’, and even if the kiss felt more passionate, it was inexperienced and... gentle, in some way.

[Name] blinked repeatedly before trying to make space between them to break the kiss before they would be seen. His hands were on Bertholdt’s chest, but he wasn’t buying it. Between quick interruptions to take air, [Name] whimpered and tried to speak, but it seemed his pattings and ‘questionable’ noises only made Bertholdt more excited, returning to kiss him.

Fortunately [Name] turned his head to the side, making Bertholdt kiss is cheek instead. The assistant’s lips were red and swallowed, and his chest heaves as he tried to breathe. Unluckily, the taller male kept kissing his neck, sending shivers to [Name] spine. He felt excitedly ticklish, trying to silence any gasp or whimper wanting to get out. He tried to make Bertholdt stay away, but the patient was stronger than him.

“Please, Bertholdt! You need to stop!” The assistant pleaded, uncomfortable and worried. It didn’t seem Bertholdt was listening to him— his big hands traveled to his face to his waist, holding him in place while kissing his neck while whispering things he couldn’t understand. [Name] didn’t want to be found like this! “Someone is going to see us! Please, listen to me!” Memories about a certain blonde saying he wouldn’t be as forgiving came to his mind, growing his worry.

Bertholdt become very affectionate for some reason, ignoring him. [Name] had to wake him up in some way before they were caught and punished. Placing both hands on Bertholdt’s face, the assistant tried to make him focus on him and stop his actions, which l gave him exactly what he wanted: Bertholdt’s attention.

Olive eyes stared and him widely, body froze in place. It was as if the roles had switched. With a crimson color present of his cheeks, [Name] pecked Bertholdt’s nose and gently spoke, “this isn’t right, Bertholdt. We could be in big trouble if we’re found like this.” He tried to reason, a frown on his face.

“But—But I... love you... you—you are my savior, [Name]!” He pleaded, grabbing [Name]’s hands with his own. His eyes widened, getting closer to his face. [Name] gulped, blinking repeatedly. He was absolutely embarrassed and slightly aroused from the sudden action. It wasn’t everyday someone kissed you like that, someone you help, to be certain. But he had to keep his cool, even if his insides were screaming and squirming.

“I appreciate you too, Bertholdt. But you have to understand what you’re doing isn’t right. You don’t want to hurt me, right?” The brunette hastily nodded his head like a child, a sad look on his face. [Name] smiled, “and I don’t want you to get hurt either. Let’s stand up.” The brunette unsurely at first let go off [Name] and stood, lending a hand on the assistant who took it.

[Name] shaked off any dirt on his clothes and helped the other too. Sighing in relief, he thanked Berhtoldt to be this easy to talk to— he really was worried about what could happen if he was seen like that. And not for his well being, but for Bertholdt’s. Yes, the kiss was something he didn’t want at all— being kissed like that without wanting it was… reminding him of something he didn’t want to remember. But [Name] wasn’t angry at Bertholdt, when he looked at that pleading eyes he saw... a frightened child. Was it wrong?

“Okay then, let’s plant them!”

The brunette felt butterflies on his stomach. He wasn’t harsh nor rude to him— in some way, [Name]’s touches reminded him of his mother. The love of his mother… love… gentleness…

Bertholdt smiled, realizing what he really felt while hearing [Name]’s chattering.

e m p t y | 3

You went to the checkup as promisedー but unfortunately, your name couldn't be remembered. Dr. Jaeger said it was understandable; he explained to both Beatrice and you that when someone as amnesia, it's unknown when your memories will come backー it can take days, years, or maybe never. It was the harsh truth, but he had to stop your reckless actions; trying to remember when it was clearly you couldn't was highly dangerous for your health. He could notice how much damage the headaches were doing to you, so he had to stop it as soon as possible, even if upsetting you was a possibility.

That left you with your empty emotions. You couldn't feel a thing— Beatrice worried about how often you hold your emotions deep inside you, but you just couldn't react. The motherly woman always tried to cheer you up, but no smile appeared. You weren't happy, that was for sure. Headaches often overcame you, even if you didn't try to remember anything. It was difficult, but with the herbs Dr. Grisha told you about, it was bearable.

Grisha told you that even if you couldn’t remember, that wasn’t a reason to make new memories.

You wondered what he meant by that... but soon understood.

++++++++++++++

You meet someone niceー a blond boy called Armin. He was kind, and helped you with your reading. You saw him being picked by the town's bullies, an annoying group of three kids.

They picked on you too, but you didn't do anything against them. They pushed you and laughed at you, and you just take it, not caring too much. Sometimes, you could see Eren watching you in the distance, while the three buffoons pushed you, making you fall on the ground. He just looked at you behind some house, maybe not realizing you noticed him. There was a day you crossed eyes with him— your eyes were dull and lifeless, and he just ran away.

You didn't like him.

But back with Armin, you remembered walking trough town for delivering some Beatrice's cookies, and you saw a blond kid being pushed between the three kids, and you could hear harsh words being throwing at him.

You couldn't explain it, but something deep inside you didn't like the situation at all— this was totally unfair.

You decided to take matters on your own hand.

Approaching them silently, they didn’t noticed you until you were behind one of the bullies, which he turned around to see you in confusion and sneer.

“Uh? Look what we have here! The freak!” He laughed, while the other too joined with him.

“What? You decided to join good-for-nothing Armin here? Because if—”

“Let him be.” You softly spoke, surprising the bullies for a mere second. It was slightly impressive — since you got here, you never talked back to them at all. Not even a whimper from their punches.

“Ohoho, the freak can talk? Let’s hear what he has to say with a punch in the gut!” The bully threw a punch at you, but you quickly dodged it without a problem. Seeing as their partner needed help, the other two bullies began to fight you too.

But you didn’t feel ‘you’ at that moment— it was familiar... as if the strength you had at that moment was from someone else’s.

Dodging every punch, you could see the bullies getting irritated and tired by their foolish fight. Without much thought, you could feel your body moving on it’s own— grabbing the bully by his forearm, you kicked the back of his feet and he roughly met the floor on his back.

The other two only stood there watching in fear. After all, how a small form as yours could knockout someone as big as him? You looked at them, and your lifeless eyes only made them feel a shock of fear. Approaching them slowly, they stood their ground and didn’t back off from the fight.

But just as you knocked the other out, they weren’t much of a problem either. Receiving punches and kicks, the bullies quickly carried their friend and ran away from you, with a look of fright on their bruised faces.

You only watched as they quickly left, sometimes falling and looking behind, only to see your scary eyes.

Worried about the kid, you turned to see him— he was on the ground, looking at you in amazement. His blue eyes were widened, and his mouth slightly gaped.

“Are you... alright?” You softly spoke, looking if he had any injuries, but it looked you were just in time before they got more physical.

The blond blinked a few times before answering clumsily, “a-ah! Yes! Thank you for defending me! T-That was... amazing!” He hadn’t no one to defend him if it wasn’t a friend– he was truly grateful. He smiled with a blush on his cheeks, looking at you in admiration.

Spotting the book he was holding, curiosity overcame you. You crouched, supporting your elbows on your knees and placing your hands on your cheeks, looking at the big book. "What are you reading?"

The blond unconsciously hold his book tighter, wrapping his little arms around it protectively. He looks unsure about answering, for some reason. "Uhm..." He stuttered, and no answer came out of himー was it something personal? Full of his dirty secrets?

Blinking, you seriously asked, with no hint of derision in your voice. "Is it your diary? Looks pretty big for one."

He instantly blushed in embarrassment— the blond felt actually ashamed and indignant hearing it. His book wasn't nothing like that at all! "AーAbsolutely not!! This is not a diary!!"

"What's is it about, then?" You tilted your head to the side, waiting for an answer.

He stays in silence. He looks unsureー his eyes look at the book and then to you, as is you were going to hurt it in way. You are patientー waiting for his answer, you just stare with a blank expression.

The blond seems to make up his mind, because he answers, "...it's a book from the outside."

"The outside? As... outside these walls?"

His eyed spark, "Of course! Far away from here!"

"Outside..." you wondered... how far away you could remember? The only far place you remember going was the forest. “Can I read it?”

Again, the kid looked unsure about it. Bur fortunately, he decided he could trust you. He nodded, opening the big book, you sitting besides him. “Here! If you want to read it...” he pointed a paragraph with a small illustration of... something blue.

Focusing your gaze on the words, you tried to read them. But as you expected, you didn’t understand anything of it— a soft whimper left your mouth, and the blonde got worried by your irritation. Wasn't it... extraordinary?

“Uh? What is it?” He looked worriedly at you, feeling disappointment.

“I can’t read.” You plainly stated, tilting your head, looking at him with your dull eyes. He blinked at you, not sure on how to react. Nevertheless, he didn’t laugh— not even a chuckle.

“Do you want me to... read it for you...?”

Nodding, he smiles and reads the paragraph about “lands made of ice”. You can’t imagine something like that— but it makes you wonder. Your eyes spark with interest, and your curiosity wants more, so you tell Armin to keep reading and explaining things to you.

“Hey! Maybe I can teach you how to read and write, if you want.” He speaks gently to you, taking a break of his book. It’s easy to say he likes you, and you like him.

You nod with a small smile on your face.

“Armin! Why are you with the weirdo?!”

Recognizing the voice, your expressionless face returns again, and Armin catches your change of demeanor.

“Eren! That’s rude!” Armin tells him, frowning. The brunette only tsks in return, glaring at you. “He defended me from the bullies!”

Eren’s gaze is on you still, but you don’t look at him at all. You stand up and dust your pants, ready to leave but Armin stops you. “Hey! Don’t go, we haven’t read the rest yet!”

“Armin! You can’t just let everyone see the book! You don’t even know this guy!” Eren yells, and the silent girl besides him pulls his ear, making him yell her name.

“Eren, why are you mean to him? He—”

“It’s alright. I have to deliver this, anyways. See you, Armin.” You look at him with a barely visible smile, and leave without looking at the brunette.

Watching you leave, Armin still remains frowning, hugging his book. “You don’t have to be like that with him. He’s nice.”

“Whatever. He’s weird.” Eren crosses his arms, pouting.

“Ah! He didn’t even told me his name...”

“He doesn’t have one.”

“Uh? What do you mean?” Armin looks at him in curiosity.

“My dad told me he doesn’t remember anything. Something about ‘amnesia’ or whatever. Now, let’s read more of your book!”

“Oh— right!” Armin smiles along with Eren, running towards the lake near the town.

The silent girl follows them, smiling secretly as she remembers how Eren wanted to know everything about the mysterious boy with his dad when he returned.

+++++++++++

You didn’t like Eren. And you knew he didn’t like you.

Sometimes you two fought not only verbally, but physically. Grisha was actually surprised by the two of you, Carla was disappointed in his son as she could see he was the one instigating you, and Beatrice was worried for both of you.

It was actually a nightmare to separate the two of you— Eren nor you wanted to let go from the other. Bloody noses, bruises and scratches were normally found on the two of you.

You always tried to ignore him, but he demanded attention by getting physical. Even Mikasa had a hard time separating you along with Armin. You couldn’t be with Armin because Eren was always irritating you, nor you could talk to Mikasa because she was always with him.

“He likes you, actually.” She told you sometime ago. You only raised your eyebrow, without saying much. It was one of the times were you could talk to her normally, while Armin and Eren were reading Armin’s book nearby. It was actually bearable staying like this, even if you weren’t able to read Armin’s book, talking with Mikasa was good.

And it seemed your relationship with Eren didn’t improve at all— when you saw him fighting with the bullies you didn’t help him at all. Just like he saw you being picked on by various kids, leaving without saying a word.

Carla and Beatrice were worried and disappointed that their boys couldn’t be together at all— it was unfortunate.

Grisha only said to ‘give it time’. He always told to Carla that he knew Eren didn’t actually hate you, and he was just confused by his feelings. Carla laughed, agreeing with him.

Something changed one day when you were in Dr. Jaegers house, as he did his usual checkups on you. You were stressed; more headaches with unusual pain overcame you, nose bleeds, and the fights with Eren was stressing you out more than usual. You had nightmares you couldn’t remember, and not even the tea Beatrice did was helping you.

Grisha did everything to help the pain disappear, but nothing worked. Carla and Mikasa weren’t on the house currently— leaving Grisha, Eren and you alone. You couldn’t bear the headaches anymore— they hurt too much!

“Eren boil water in the pot, I will get the herbs.” Grisha commanded, seeing how tight you were holding your head.

“What?! I’m not doing anything for hi—”

“Eren!” Grisha yelled, making Eren jump, “I don’t care about your problems right now! Stop acting like that and obey!” The doctor’s face was all serious and irritated, but he managed to stay put. Eren stayed still for a second, but went to the kitchen to boil the water.

Grisha left to get some herbs from the other room, leaving you laying on the couch with a warm cloth over your head. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for you— your whimpers and cries could be heard, sometimes you were hyperventilating. Eren watched you in worry, seeing how much blood was pouring from your nose.

The doctor returned, telling Eren to get him a teacup with the hot water. Quickly, the older man helped you sit to drink the tea, you could barely hear him talking to you, but drank the liquid nevertheless. You couldn’t even register how hot the tea was and how it burned your tongue, as the headache was getting worse.

“Clean his face.” Grisha told his son, as he left in a hurry again to the other room. Eren frowned, he didn’t want to do it. But he knew his dad was going to be mad at him, so he obeyed, once again.

Grabbing a cloth, he clumsily tried to clean your face, but he made it worse. Your whole face was covered in blood— it looked like a nightmare. “What... are you... doing...?” You breathlessly spoke, looking at him but at the same time trough him. You knew he wasn’t doing a great job— you just did.

“Hey! I’m trying to help you! I don’t even—“

“Eren! What are you doing?!” Grisha yelled, making Eren take some steps back from his horrible job at cleaning. The doctor grunted, “just– just give me a clean cloth and a bucket full of water.” He had a syringe on his hand with an unusual color in it. He took your arm and told you, “this will hurt a little bit, but please stay put.” Slowly, he injected you, but you didn’t feel it, or rather reacted to it.

Slowly, you began to feel relaxed, as if you were shutting down. But you were crying— many tears fell from your face while you sobbed. Looking at Grisha, your broken voice said, “I’m never going to remember, right? I will never remember who they were, right?!” The doctor could hear the desperation in your voice, how angry and sad you sounded.

Eren watched you, feeling... upset.

“I... I want Beatrice...” You felt sleepy, your eyes began to close as you were still crying. Grisha’s hand was on your back, and slowly helped you to lay again. You blinked a few times, looking at nothing in particular before whispering and falling asleep, “mom...”

Grisha sighed, passing a hand trough his hair. As Eren gave him what he asked for, the doctor began to carefully clean your face, as Eren stood besides him, watching your troubled face. He tried to cover his worry with an uninterested tone, “is he going to be alright?”

“He will. Hopefully I won’t use this again on him.” He looked at the syringe for a brief second. “The pain was worse than before... but what is causing it...?” The doctor wonders.

Eren just sits on the floor, unsure and worried about you. You looked in a lot of pain, a kind of pain a child shouldn’t feel. He thinks in the times he has fought you, taking advantage of your headaches. He feels so low, a bully— the ones he fights to protect Armin.

His eyes widened at the realization— was he... the bad guy in your life? Eren pouts, averting seeing you. He actually was interested in you... but seeing how you didn’t even look at him made him angry. Why could you smile at Armin and Mikasa but not him?

Eren had a lot in his mind, and you were invading every bit of thoughts on his head.

After...

Grisha told Eren to go to Beatrice and get her take you home. The woman hurried with worry on her face, and with the help of Grisha, returned you to her home. Not quickly after that you got a severe fever– hallucinating, whispering nonsense, talking to Beatrice as if she was someone else... It was pretty bad. Grisha didn’t know if you were going to make it— nothing cured you. Eren, Mikasa and Armin were worried. Sometimes Armin read his book with you, while Mikasa helped Beatrice with her pastries, and Eren surprisingly took care of you. Carla supported Beatrice too, saying you were going to fight the fever and be alright soon, but it was hard.

You didn’t give any signal of waking up.

^^^^^^^^

“Why aren’t you waking up? It’s been a month!” Eren speaks to you, knowing you wouldn’t answer. You just lay in the bed, with a frown on your face. It’s been the sixth time he had to change the warm cloth on your head– Beatrice is downstairs while he takes care of you. He doesn’t mind now; he wants to be near you. “Everyone is worried! You—! You weirdo...”

Since the moment he saw how you suffered the other day, he wanted to apologize to you. He felt regret. Everyone was waiting you to wake up, so why didn’t you?! “Please, wake up! We... We don’t even know your name!” Tears fell from his face while he tightly took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours’. “Please...”

Immediately, your body began to shake uncontrollably. This was Eren’s que to get his dad as fast as he could. Running downstairs, he yelled to Beatrice what was happening while he ran to his dad to help you. Thankfully he was home with his mom, he ran to him and took his hand, pulling him while he yelled what was happening. Grisha couldn’t understand anything Eren was saying, but the doctor understood what was the problem. Getting his instruments with the help of Carla, the two ran to your house, the door already open when they arrived.

Beatrice was trying to help you, but it was with no avail. Grisha quickly approached your small form, while Eren looked worried and helped Beatrice. The doctor injected you with his syringe on your arm, making you stop slowly. Whimpers came out of your mouth, along with more nonsense.

“Protect...” You barely whispered, “king... walls... they...” More nonsense that nobody cared for— they couldn’t understand what you were saying.

Grisha spoke to Beatrice while Eren watched you. He sat besides you, taking your hand, holding it tightly. The two adults go downstairs, talking about you and what could happen.

“Hmn...?” Eren heard you moving and whimpering, and he couldn’t believe it— you were waking up! He watched as you clumsily tried to sit, rubbing your eyes. The brunette couldn’t hold himself, and he hugged you as tight as he could, making you confused of what was happening. “Uh...? Eren...? Why are you hugging me?” You spoke, feeling your throat dry. There was a hint of irritation in your voice – what was he doing?

“You are finally awake! I thought you will sleep forever!” Eren yelled, holding you even tighter. His head was hiding on your neck, and you could feel something wet on it– was he... crying? Eren crying for you?

“What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything. And why are you so happy to see me?” What just happened while you were ‘asleep’?

“You had a high fever! We thought—“ Eren stops, immediately breaking the hug, as he realized something important, “I have to tell the others!” He left the room as fast as he could, leaving you dumbfounded.

What happened?

After that, Beatrice came to the room, hugging you immediately while she was criyng. She explained everything that had happened, while Eren got his dad to check on you. He said everything seemed fine now – but he recommended being careful with your health.

Weird enough, your relationship with Eren got better. But being honest, you didn’t like him at all. But he... somehow changed around you. He defended you from the bullies, always tried to talk to you— and even if you tried to ignore him, he sometimes grow irritated but persistent. Mikasa and Armin told him he had to be patient– something that he clearly wasn’t. He even yelled at you, crying ‘why don’t you let me talk to you?!’ so desperately. It surprised you; old Eren wouldn’t even want to talk to you.

Gaining your friendship was hard, but thanks for Armin and Mikasa advice and help both of you grew as friend, surprisingly enough. No more physically fights, no more snarky comments, no more separation between all of you.

It was nice. You gave him a chance, and he took it.

The four of you were the happiest friends— and even if the everyday was repetitive and boring, nothing was better than being with them.

You hold these memories dearly.

+++++++

Living with Beatrice was peaceful. The kind woman took you in when she heard your situation— you not having no memories about your past whatsoever, all alone in these walls you just recently knew about. So when she was prying what the soldiers where saying, she took pity on seeing your little form behind the blond's man leg, looking uncomfortable and frightened.

How would you have survived all alone? The only option for you may have been the 'underground' rumors she heard about. That wasn't going to happen to you if she took you in— so she did.

You were a... quiet boy. Observing you, she could see you really didn't know how to react around other people— it seemed you didn't know what to say. Maybe you were introvert, or just awkward, Beatrice thought.

Nevertheless, when you were with her you slightly changed. You talked a bit more than before. When you first came with her, you didn't say much— you didn't even say when your head began to hurt! She always engaged you in conversations, and little by little you gave in. She was happy. Beatrice even noticed you liked affection; how you hugged her leg or asked for a kiss on the head. You were a beautiful kid.

Beatrice didn't know what to call you– you didn't remember your name, and she just didn't want to name you just like that. She gave you time to try and remember something before choosing other options, and you somehow succeeded.

+++

"Oh, honey, do you have a headache again?" Beatrice asked you, seeing how you tried to calm down the pain, placing your hands on your temples. You nodded, closing your eyes. "Just give me a minute— I will make tea as fast as I can, honey!"

You had headaches pretty often. She had to take you to Doctor Jaeger's house when she saw blood pouring from your nose when the pain was unbearable. He recommended some herbs, along with placing a warm cloth on your head. He looked pretty taken aback by your situation, and tried to help you and Beatrice with all he could, along with her wife, Carla.

And this seemed like one of these times when the pain was unbearable. You were grunting and tensing — so Beatrice hurried and laid you on the couch that was on the living room. Placing the cloth she warmed on your head, the woman hurried and took the tea, returning to you. Helping you sit, she approached the tea cup to your lips, swallowing it little by little.

The remedy helped you bear the pain a little, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt. She could tell by your tensed features— how your eyes tightly closed, your eyebrow furrowed and your small hands hardly grabbed your clothing or pressed them against the sides of your head.

And as if the pain went away. you quickly opened your eyes, blinking repeatedly. She placed the tea cup on the small table, "are you alright, hon? Does your head still hurt?" She worriedly asked, gently patting your head.

You looked at her, not saying anything at first. She could tell you were trying to form your words, so she patiently waited.

"I think my name is... [Name]." You stated, looking lost. "No... I'm sure '[Name]' is my name." you said more confident, slightly smiling— a sight she didn't see until now.

"[Name]... that's a wonderful name, dear!" Beatrice happily said, kissing your temples. "Did you remember your last name, [Name]?"

You shook your head a little disappointed. She quickly acted and said, "No worries, [Name]! I'm sure you will pretty soon!" Taking the cloth off your head, she went to the little kitchen and stated, "What does an apple pie sound? To celebrate you remembering your name!"

You quickly nodded, eyes sparkling. She giggled seeing your lighten face— a feature you didn't often show to anyone but her and her pastries.

+++

Unfortunately, you didn't remember your last name at all. The only thing you remembered was your name, and that was it. Anything you tried to remember made you have headaches, and in the worse cases made you have nosebleeds. So the woman decided to not to remember anytime soon— and you just accepted it. The check-ups with Doctor Jaeger said so too.

So you just stayed with the kind woman. Beatrice baked bread and other pastries in her little kitchen, and you helped her with giving deliveries and giving a hand on the kitchen. You quickly learned how to bake all kind of things thanks to her.

+++

"But remember, [Name]— this is our secret, alright?" She whispered at you, making you smile and nod. The pastries' recipes were only know by Beatrice and you, and even if some people gave you money for them, you always said no.

Your bond with her was strong— she loved you as her own son and you learned to love her, too.

+++

Beatrice heard the front door open, seeing your little form coming in with a little bag on your hand.

"Delivery completed! Here's the money." You said, handing her the small bag, which she took. "Miss Cordelia wanted to know the recipe, again. I told her I didn't know it at all, but she doesn't believe me..." You showed a small smile, looking at Beatrice.

"Thank you, dear. Cordelia has wanted this recipe the first time she tried the bread— but this is our secret, right?"

You laughed, "yes, mom!" and when the word left your mouth, you quickly covered it with your hands, looking embarrassed.

Beatrice was taken aback too— you never have told her mom before, and even if she dreamed about it, the woman didn't want to pressure you with something like that.

"U—Uhm... sorry, miss Beatrice..." you apologized, looking upset. You shifted your gaze at your feet, with hands behind your back.

She quickly noted your tensed form, and tried to reassure you. She crouched to be at your height, and warmly said, "[Name], you can call me mom all you want. You know I love you, right?"

The statement made you quickly look at her, with your eyes widened. You blushed and hugged her, surprising her, but quickly returning the hug.

"Mom..." you said again, hiding your face on the crock of her neck. She patted your back, kissing your head.

You two stayed like that for minutes, before Beatrice broke the silence.

"Hey, [Name]..." She tried to take your attention, which she received a humm in return, "would you like to use my last name?" the sudden question made you shift your form so you could look at her. Worried, Beatrice hurriedly tried to explain herself, "only if you want to, dear! I've been thinking about it— but if you don't, that's alright, love. I just was—"

"I would like to." You quickly answered, looking shy. The reply made her excited,

"Really, [Name]? Would you like to be [Name] Knight?"

" e re e 's Knights!"

Your head began to hurt, but just as the unknown voice came, it left, along with the headache.

"I would love to, mom.

Childhood sunrays

He was seven when he first met you. He was the little boy, who dressed prim and proper and had a fitting face, though sullen.

His father was an honest professor that taught the elite and propitious, those in the privileged life. He, ignoring the threats and pleas, never shied away from the reality of the world.

He would spend hours on the injustice to the poor, government reforms, and political ideas too ‘radical’ for the school.

He would always get permission to get into his lectures and he would be so memorized when the topic evolved into something so fundamentally different that you had to wonder about it until days later.

And that itself caused tension between his peers. Erwin knew it stemmed from fear and insecurity— he was a seven-year-old kid who was known to outshines his elder peers who were groomed to be the best of the best, so he understood very early on how pride lead you in a leash.

With bruised knees and a bleeding lip, Erwin was chased to the unsavoury and poorer parts of town, house projects run down with green moss growing on the sides and grass unevenly and overgrown. It had its discarded concrete sidewalks cracked and uneven from the time.

He knew his father was sick with worry. Frantic, possibly.

But he also only has known the white washed walls and red bricks of home where nothing ever changes in its constant loop. Knowledge is power, and curiosity is the driving compass.

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back, as the saying goes.

A chained dog ran in up front, started to bark frantically, mad, only the old chained fence acting as its last barrier. Erwin froze, terror locking his muscles and a tremor broke out, stuck in front of the water down house with no lights on.

Only for the dog to run away as an orange peel thrown into its way.

His saviour was swinging his feet against the chain fence, with ripped jean shorts and a t-shirt too big for you. You had orange peels in one hand and the other gripped to balance.

“Hey, are you sure you ain’t lost?” His childish voice, high and confident, brought and hooked you to the reality.

“I’m sure, thank you for your concern.” His shaken voice, still present, but netherless grateful. You frown, tilting your head if to better understand.

“I mean, you walked this way, like, three times.” You hold your fingers up ( a cheap bandage clinging on with God’s miracle ) as if to better understand, he held his gaze for a moment or two, breaking contact to look at his clothes, tender red knees and busted lip.

“Oh.”

You sigh, swinging down from the gate and arching your back, you look at him with a perplexing look, “Well then, c’mon we got a date to go to.”

“I beg your pardon?!”

Under the searing sun of the summer of ‘96, you led way through roads Erwin was a stranger to. You were patient with him, and you were keeping pace with him, and your grip was neither chafing nor bruising. But yours were messy hands.

Messy with the sticky feeling of oranges, and cheap crayola crayons, with a too big shirt and choppy, uneven hair that somehow suited you.

Every motion you created was an animated picture, and it made him want to follow your every move, a dance of two.

You are a tour guide in this turning world, like in the first meeting, you hold his hand as you walk and talk through he neighbourhood. Talks about Mrs. Jones— the old lunch lady with tattoos and a motorcycle she lets the kids play with, to old man Joe, the man lost it in the war and got a silver tooth, you say.

It’s all chaotic and wild, but you move through it all as if it’s as flexible and easy as water.

Erwin’s father breaks into wild sobs as soon as he saw his son being led back into the safety of their home. He was too close on calling the police when a boy holding his son’s hand asks for him.

You’re this split-second burst of color that suddenly erupted out of nowhere, and before he could even think, you were already gone. You always were.

Melting into everything, into his hindsight, into the deepest trenches of his memory. You were so abrupt, and blinding, and you made his chest feel weird and you had this presence that both terrified and confused him for some unknown reason.

Through his teenage years, he and you would grow closer. Flashes of memories snapped and froze to twinkle, from the time you and him snuck into a movie, to the time you were forced to get a hair cut and "ran away” to his house.

Childish naïve, as they played tag under the golden rays of the sun set, and counting the bugs underneath the rotting wood with the stars above them. You said that if you squint hard enough, they look like porcupines dancing with each other.

You, in his humble opinion, feels like running away, but not the real kind. More like how you saw it in childhood movies. Running to endless woods that hid magical adventures, running to hills filled with flowers and frogs and grasshoppers. Happy ignorant and not having to prepare but knowing the future of everlasting happiness and sunshine.

He wished he prepared more.

——

New York is a city too big for one, yet ironically too small for Erwin.

His works circle towards bringing down the corrupt, from CEO’s to the politicians and the rich and influential. He works here because its his duty and passion. (But his head is whispering haunting promises of city lights of a boy with ambition in his eyes.)

The percentage of even meeting you again, after all these years is mathematically impossible, how could he? When he left, he wonders, if you still think if him as his childhood friend or imagination of what he could have been.

His wishes ended up being manifested as a piss thrown bagel.

He was walking through the crowds, leaning thinner than other days when a half-eaten bagel lands on his shiny expensive leather shoe.

He grimace, Hange crackling in the background and Levi tsk with murmuring under his breath.

He looks up, scanning for the culprit, noises in New York are always blended but a voice sticks out from the rest. ( young and deep, a paradoxical dream, he knows this voice ) Arguments, insults and loud voices, he brings his attention to the couple in front of him, and—

The countless heads of ongoing bystanders, and yet. You. With the hair that catched the sun’s eye, and the wind’s kiss blows.

“Y/M!”

You, with caramel factories in your pockets, and rainbows stains on your fingertips, turn around and all breathing is sucked from the tunnel vision of you.

Your hair is longer, less wild and free, and your face contoured with more chiseled since your childhood days. But your freedom of expression is painted in your face.

Surprise, confusion, and realization.

“Erwin? Erwin Smith is that you?!” Your pitch rose as your entire being rose with it, your eyes widen and crinkled, blooming like the dandelions on spring.

“Oh lord, it’s really you!” You ran, skipping through the lady’s threshold, and Erwin already dropped his briefcase as he opened his arms as wide as he could to catch the wild storm of colors that you were.

You hit him with all your force, and from that force of reality that sucked all breath from him, he finally thought he knows what home really is. (He remembers, they were sprawled out on your couch, facing each other, smiling like idiots, mouths stretched so wide our cheeks ached with the strain. )

I often fantasize about how life would be like with you.

“My god! Jesus, I haven’t seen you, in what? Six, seven years? Look how much you grown!” You pull away just slightly, still entrapped in his arms, as you take a good close look at him for the first time.

And Erwin stares. Stares because in these streets that blur in the background, he can smell the orange soda that you drank under one gulp for a bet and the crackers that you hid away for the zombie apocalypse prep. And then he realises that he is staring.

“I— yes. We, I mean, I did grow. With, uh, food.”

You laugh, and your laughter feels like a dying sunrays directed at him. Like blooming flowers, and with his limited vocabulary he fumbled out the crooked, vague, feeling that waved through his teeth. When was the last time he was swooned by your laughter?

You move to speak, and he unconsciously lean forward as if seeking a place to rest, as a shriek of your name breaks through this haze of whatever overcame you two. You blink, your face realizing your situation, and your expression drops, like his stomach, unto one of uncomfort and annoyance.

You lean forward and in an entirely exaggerated expression, you crestfallen sigh, “Hear that, Erwin? It’s the devil calling my name.” A sharp tug, what else could if be? A sharp poke at his tender heart, do you hear that? A taunting voice, he’s preparing to leave again.

You lean back, tilting your face in the same way when he met you and smile such a sad smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Erwin. Don’t be a stranger yeah?”

His finger twitches, his lips parting in anticipation, but he closes in remorse.

“Yeah, let’s.”

But as you start to pull away, you move with just speed and color as you pull put a sharpie from your pocket. And he’s taken back to your phase of always carrying candy in your pockets, no matter the event or temperature.

“Here,” you hold your hand out, and Erwin isn’t even aware as he instantly drops his whole hand in yours.

The blank ink stings his eyes, as numbers shaped his hand. A smily face, wobbly and silly, is at the end.

Your face almost splits in half as you smile up at him, “Don’t forget to call me tonight, yeah?”

He nods silently, not trusting his words clearly, as you waved through the crowd back to the woman who started to hit you in the head. He takes a step forward, and you throw your head up and start to taunt her as you start to run away.

Reminds you of the time you used to throw orange peels at his peers. You turn around for a second and smile one last time and wave a goodbye, and just like his hindsight, you were a hurricane of color that picks him up and disappears immediately.

Even though his colleagues watched their interaction between a well-known blank mask to a complete stranger, he throws his head back and lets out a deep laugh from the credence of his chest. He could act all stoic but his heart doesn’t feel stoic enough to make him serene.

He pockets his hand and ignores the shouts of Hange, and the silent eyes of Levi that probe him for his unanswers questions.

His steps feel lighter.

——

I don’t know if i should, like a part 2, or a pov of the reader. I dunno. I’ll go and sleep.

i just read the entirety of reiss mental asylum and i'm in love skfhtuebfo

im so happy to read this!! 😭😭 i've been receiving a lot of kind comments, but sometimes i can't stop myself from thinking the story is boring and flat...💦💦 but reading your comment really makes me happy. thank you for reading! and very sorry for the wait- life has been pretty upsetting lately, but i hope i can get my ass to write soon! i have a lot of ideas for it. c: 🌻 stay tuned—!🌻💕

ok... i don’t want to be rude or anything but... why can’t some authors clarify reader’s gender??? u____u

is it too hard to add a “female!reader” at the beginning? We just assume reader always wants to go by she? like i’m chillin reading an ‘x reader’ as gender neutral and BAM u thought wrong fool: “she” “her” “pussy” like bro.... just... c l a r i f y p l s and give me the choice of not wasting my time and get annoyed 😭

FLower Curse | 7

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

s i x

Seeing everyone was getting ready with their gear made you anxious. You wanted to go with them— to protect your squad. Sadly, strong orders form the commander made you stay in the barracks.

Surprisingly, you decided to join breakfast this morning. Even if your appetite didn't exist, you sat down with your squad and talked to them until it was time to go.

"You should rest, Squad Leader! You really look sick today..." Tim said, looking worried, "are you taking any medication?"

Letting out an empty laugh, you tried your best to wear a nice smile. "Of course! When you return, I will be better. Your Leader isn't going to be defeated by a stupid cold."

"But it has been one week and you are still sick..." Trisha said, playing with her fingers, "I don't mean to say you look bad but..."

The white haired male, Simon, crossed his arms and frowned. "You look like shit, Leader." The statement made Trisha and Tim look at him in an attempt to stop his comments, but the young male didn't care. "What? It's the truth. You are skinnier, paler, and you have get into fights with the commander and the corporal, and Petra too."

"You don't have to recall all of that, Simon. Our leader is stressed enough of... these conflicts, you don't have to make him more worried." A blond woman interfered, glaring at Simon with her greenish eyes. "We have to comfort him like a good friend would do, no made things worse."

"I'm just stating the truth— come on Elizabeth, you saw how angry he was with Petra yesterday. That throw must have hurt, too." Simon muttered to not grab any attention to the topic of conversation. Sadly, his voice got louder, "You should have seen her after—"

"Stop! This is not helping at all!" Elizabeth slightly raised her voice just to interrupt Simon, which she gladly did, hearing his voice getting louder. "You don't say all of that like it's nothing to our leader! Apologize!"

And just an argument began. You were thankful the mess hall was loud this morning— if it weren't, they would have heard all of what your comrades were saying. Just the table besides you caught attention of your soldiers getting railed up, but they quick dismiss it when they saw your glare.

Tim and Trisha tried to calm them down, but their sweet and low voices didn't made trough. Elizabeth was over protecting with you, and Simon was brutally honest. These two didn't match that well, but their differences were forgotten once they were in battle. But of course, the two could talk normally in one moment and in a second they could be fighting, just like now.

"Alright, that's enough. You both calm down and sit down; everyone is watching you making a fool of yourselves." You finally ordered, rubbing your temples. A headache overcome you, maybe for not eating well yesterday and today— your bad mood was getting through.

Thankfully, the two took the order and sat down, silently glaring at each other.

"Simon is right. I'm not in my best shape right now and..." you passed a hand through your hair, sighing, "I've been in a bad mood, as you could have heard, or even seen."

There was a minute of silence, until Tim broke it with an unsure look. He didn't know if he was alright to ask this, but he did anyway, "Leader... are you sure is just a cold? I mean— I'm not saying you are hiding something or anything, but..."

"Are you saying Squad Leader [Name] is hiding something from us? Something as important as his health?" Trisha asked, muttering to herself.

And just by that, another discussion overcome the topic. But you quickly ended it by the truth— just like yesterday, you decided that the best thing to do was being honest with everyone. Well, just a little honest.

"It's not a cold." You stated, looking at your squad members, which they quickly shut their mouths. Muttering, you proceed, "we... don't know what it is exactly, and I don't know when it will go away."

"What do you mean?" Simon frowned, looking confused, "are you implying that you have an illness? And you hide it from us?" "I did." The soldiers looked at you with wide eyes at your response, Elizabeth, Tim and Trisha looked surprised and taken aback, Simon frowned, looking away. "I didn't know what it was at first... and I still don't exactly know."

"You... don't know?" Simon asked.

"No, we don't know."

"What are the symptoms?" Elizabeth quietly asked.

"I just... throw up a lot and it's hard to breathe." You decided that was the best thing to say—it wasn't exactly a lie, right?

"And no doctors know anything?"

"Nope. No luck." Seeing their faces made you worried— there were just minutes to leave, and they couldn't just go with worrying about something else. They had to stay focused in the expedition, so you quickly tried to fix the mood. "But hey! Erwin and I heard about a doctor in Wall Maria that could help me, maybe we can go after the expedition, come on, don't look at me like that."

Trisha was the first to look at you with spark in her eyes; she was hoping you were telling the truth— after all, they care about you. "A-Are you sure? Do you think he will help you?"

"Are you not telling lies? After all, you just hide an illness from us for one week." Simon bitterly said, averting your gaze. He was hurt, just like everyone else— they were your soldiers under your command, your comrades; your friends.

Ouch. But it was the truth— you fucked up. "I'm sorry; I owe you all an apology for lying to you. But I'm telling the truth; Erwin and I have our hope on that doctor."

Tim tried to light the mood, "That's good, right?! Maybe, maybe we can go with you when we got back!" He smiled.

Trisha quickly joined his joy, "Exactly! We will go when we return, Leader! That's a promise."

You laughed, feeling something warm in your chest. Knowing they cared about you, even when you lied to them, made you feel good. Looking at Elizabeth and Simon, who were still not saying anything, you asked, "could you two forgive me?"

Simon meet your gaze and sighed, "Of course, Leader. Yes, you lied to us, but right now what is important is your health, right? So don't worry."

"Exactly. Yes— we are hurt, but what comes first is your health, Leader. So don't smash your head on your desk for what we think. We care about you." Elizabeth stated, smiling at you.

You felt as if a ton of bricks lifted up from your shoulders— and you just laughed with all your heart. "You guys are the best. You better don't do anything stupid in the expedition, you hear me?" Your squad just laughed, "Of course, Leader..." they said in unison, making you laugh.

"Where are you going to be placed? And who is in charge? Tell me!"

"Calm down, Leader!" Trisha said, raising her hands, "we will be placed in the right flank along with James."

You sighed, feeling relief— Yeah, they will be safe. The right flank usually doesn't encounter that much of a problem. Yes, yes,, they will be safe and sound.

"You know how I hate to break the mood, Leader, but," Simon said, approaching you and muttering, "won't you apologize to Petra? You know, she is hurt, even if she doesn't want to show it..."

Sighing, you knew he was right— what you did was wrong. This morning you thought to apologize to her already, but thanks to everyone coming and leaving like flash you couldn't. Or maybe, you just were making up excuses.

"I will apologize to her after the expedition." You stated, giving a quick look to Levi's table— which you quickly averted when you saw the ravenette looking at you.

"Everyone! It's time."

"That's our que! We have to go, see ya, Leader!" Trisha said, leaving with Tim.

"We will go to that doctor after returning, alright?" Elizabeth stated, before leaving the mess hall.

"Yep, what she said. See ya, cap."

And after that, they all left, along with everyone else. You were alone in the mess hall, looking deeply in thought. Somehow, you didn't notice someone staying— the hand slamming the table made you jump, looking right at the ravenette.

"Levi! The fuck!" you cried out, holding your chest.

"Oi. We will talk after the expedition. No hiding." He said, looking straight at you. You just sighed at replied,

"Yeah, yeah... No more lies..." The reply seemed to satisfy him, because he was already leaving with a smirk. You stopped him before he did, saying, "Hey! If you can... can you make sure they—"

"I'm absolutely sure they can handle themselves just fine. Aren't they your soldiers, [Name]?" He said, furrowing a brow. The question made you laugh— made you feel dumb to be worried about your soldiers being in danger. They know what to do and not do— they will return.

"Of course..."

The ravenette looked at you for more seconds before leaving. You were alone with your thoughts now.

Yes. You will apologize to Petra— she is your friend, you didn't have to snap at her like that.

You will talk to Levi and explain the curse. You will go with your squad to Wall Maria, to go for the doctor. You will apologize to Erwin. You will. Everything will work. ________________________________________ You never felt so bored before— was this how it felt when you were left behind? You felt like shit. The barracks were in absolute silence. You didn't know how much time were you all alone in your office. One hour? Two? How much does an expedition last? Were you outside the walls that long? Never felt like it. You wanted them to come back already, you wanted to be with your squad and protect them here.

Unfortunately, a painful feeling in your chest began to extend itself in your throat, and you knew exactly what it was. You just tensed and throw it all out, meeting with the colorful flowers. You thought you were finished after five flowers, but the feeling of something stuck in your throat made you gag.

It felt like glass coming out from your throat; it hurt. It hurt a lot. You hardly coughed, holding your throat to bear the pain— your eyes were teary, saliva was dripping from your mouth— the fucking flower just didn't want to come out.

Finally, after it seemed like hours, you had to take the flower out of your mouth with your hand— you could feel ripping it from something inside your chest.

The flower came out with a big root. Bigger than the others, at least. There was a lot of blood with it, too. Along with the petals and flowers that came out before this one. Fuck, this doesn't look good.

Throwing the flower to the floor, you tried to catch your breath— your throat was sore and hurt like hell. You could feel something inside your chest, not letting you breath properly. Calming your nerves, you thought the best thing was to get water and then go outside to get some air— yes, that was what you were going to do.

xxxxxxx After drinking some water, you went to the stables, where the horses were kept— and when you came in, you left a sigh of relief when you saw your horse, Nora, all alone.

"Hello, girl. They left you behind too?" Approaching her, you pet her nose, only to get licked by her. "Don't worry, I'm going to stay with you, alright? We both will wait for them here."

You placed a box near her, you sat down and talked to her. Just letting out about all of what was happening lately.

"But, you know, I think I will get better. After they return I'm going to look for Timothy with my squad, and we will know if I can get cured." Hearing her snort, you laughed, "Aw, I wish I could take you with me... but I don't think I can. Will come straight at you with the news, tho!"

Nora quickly began to move, pointing with her noise at the stable's door.

"What, girl? Are they already back?" Paying attention, you could hear the horses, some voices... "Thank you, Nora! Will come back after I see the doctor!" You exclaimed, leaving the stable— you were happy they were back already. There was already sunset, why did they had to take so long?

Whatever! You will find Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth and Simon, but first you will apologize to Petra.

But the state they were in made your heart ache. Your chest tightened— why did they look so grim? Why many of them were injured? What happened? You were sure in the last expeditions there wasn’t anything this bad— yes, you don’t came back joyful but like this…?

Instantly, you approached them, they could see your worried face, and by the looks of them, they didn’t want to tell you something. Where was James? Where was your squad?

“H-Hey! Where is my squad? Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth. Simoon...?" You tried to ask a soldier who just passed you, ashamed, You grunted, going with one of the recent cadets— Kirchstein. "You!"

The boy instantly turned at your direction, sweating when he spotted you. "Squad Leader [Name]..." he could only mutter. Was he going to be the poor bastard who had to tell you the bad news? Fuck.

"Do you know where is my squad? I don't see them." You said, looking at all the soldiers to spot your friends, but no luck.

"It wich flank where they?" Please don't say right flank, don't, don't...

"In the right flank, with James. I don't see him either..."

The blond you didn't spot at first, Armin, who was beside Jean, tensed along with him. They stayed quiet for some seconds, before Jean had the courage to tell you the situation.

"The right flank was completely wiped out, Squad Leader." He gulped, fearing what your reaction could be, "there were no survivors in the right flank."

You felt as something broke. Like a glass shattering on the floor in a million pieces— something you couldn't describe in one word. Something hollow, dark, cold.

The cadets really didn't know what to do, so them both just apologized. Before they could leave, you asked one more thing. "Where's is Levi's squad?"

This time, Armin answered you without looking at you in the eyes. "They are... dead too, Leader..."

"Just... Just how?! A flank wiped out?! Levi's squad?! What happened!?"

"Squad Leader— We—!"

"[Name]." You heard someone call for you— a deep voice. Turning around, you spotted Erwin who was standing there, looking at you with an expression you couldn't decipher. "Come with me." He softly ordered, trying to not get you all hot headed, but sadly, that didn't work at all.

You were furious. You should have been there with them! "They are dead, Erwin!" you cried out, scaring the two cadets who were there by your sudden loud voice. "They are gone forever! I should have been there! I should have, but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!" you repeatedly said, approaching Erwin and punching him on the chest with your fists wich he only could took.

"[Name], please—"

"No! Shut up! If I was there, I could have protected them! Damn you, Erwin! Why, why, why!" You desperately said, tears coming down. "They are gone... Elizabeth, Tim, Simon, Trisha... We promised..."

"We will go together."

Erwin knew even if you would have been there with them, nothing could have been different. Your current situation wouldn't have let you work things out. He had to said the hard truth, even if it hurt you. "Stop acting like a child, [Name]. Nothing would have been different."

"Stop! And? I should have been with them... I should have..." You muttered the last part, not finishing what he already knew you were going to say.

He sighed and took your wrist, "come with me and stop shouting. Just, calm down until we are at my office, alright?" He gently ordered, looking at you with that soft expression he often showed you. You just eventually gave in, crying and taken by the hand like a child.

--------------

When the door was shut, you instantly cried harder, grabbing Erwin by his jacket and hiding your face on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, caressing your hair. Softly muttering things on your ear, he tried his best to comfort you, but you were broken beyond repair. "I— I can't see them again!" you sobbed, "I couldn't a—apologize t-to Petra! I'm — I'm so sorry!"

He could feel his heart hurt hearing you so broken. Why were you apologizing? "[Name], don't say that. Nobody knew what would have happened, is not your fault. Nothing is your fault."

Crying louder, you just sobbed, saying things Erwin couldn't understand by your sobs. So he just hold you, trying to fix the pieces of the broken glass. You two stayed like that for what seemed hours, until you calmed down and rested your head on Erwin's chest.

"Are you better?" He gently asked, kissing your head with caring. The answer he got was a grunt and loud sniffing, before you broke the hold —that he didn't want to broke at all— and wiped your face with your hands.

"How— How is Levi taking it?" You asked, looking at the floor. You wondered how he was feeling now; maybe just like you.

"He's holding it. Petra's father... talked to him when we returned." He closed his eyes, "Levi is furious, but he knows the feeling too well, [Name]. But that doesn't make it easier..." "But... an entire flank was wiped out. How is that possible?"

Erwin sighed, going to his desk and sitting down. He began to explain what happened to you— the abnormal, or intelligent titan they encounter, how they tried to capture it and failed... You wanted to kill whoever that person inside the titan was— the person who killed your comrades.

"I'm going to see Levi." You stated, but before you could leave, Erwin took your wrist, making you stop.

"[Name], I don't think this would be a good time."

"I have to see him, Erwin. I have to. We have to talk right now." You had to— you could feel something covering your throath slowly. The bad news only made your insides worse— it was harder to breathe.

"But [Name]—"

You interrupting him by freeing your wrist, and said, "We will just talk. Just talk..." and then, you left, leaving him alone in his office.

______________

"Come in."

You slowly opened the door, seeing his miserable state he tried to cover. When he saw you, his expression changed to a grimmest one.

"Funny how now you come to me, [Name]." He bitterly said. Was he trying to joke around?

Nevertheless, you tried to hold yourself together. "I'm sorry for what happened..." You didn't want to say it out loud— you didn't even want to think of it.

He just hummed, closing his eyes. "Me too." Was the only thing he said, before everything fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"About what is happening to me—"

"I seriously don't want to hear you right now, [Name]."

Your heart sinked at the sudden statement — yes, you knew he was hurt, bu so were you! You had to tell him the truth, he had to hear it. "No— but, hear me out, Levi, because I love you I—"

"Stop talking." He interrupted you, standing up, looking at you in bitter. "Get this straight: I will never love you, [Name]. And you know why is that?"

Ouch. That hurt. A lot. That hurt, it hurt, it hurtithurtithurtithurt—

"Because the one I always loved is dead."

Right. He never loved you. What was there to talk about? Why were you trying? You knew this was over the first time you threw up that petal.

You were wrong. Nobody could have helped you wake up from this stupid love trance. So foolish. This was it— you couldn't breathe. Something was not letting you breathe— you had to get out. out out out out out.

You just let the tears flow and flew— straight at your office. You tried to grasp for air, but you couldn't. Your lungs were full with something. You needed help. You were on the floor, trying to rip off your shirt.

Help me. Help me help help helpgelpplessepleaseplaeplasleslap

"[Name], I saw you—" You heard Erwin? coming in, and when he saw the state you were in, he shout and order to a soldier who was walking near, and in a matter of seconds he went to your side. "What is happening, [Name]?!"

You tried to mutter something, "I—I can't breathe..." you felt as if your jacket was suffocating you, "j-jacket..."

He understand you immediately, taking off your jacket, making you slightly better. You could breathe just a little, but you were feeling something growing inside. Slowly taking your lungs, reclaming them...

"You are going to be alright, [Name]. Don't fall asleep, alright? Hange will come and help you." What was there to help? It was too late. Too late.

You painfully smiled at him, tears dripping from your face. You raised your hand and touched his cheek, making him frown and grit his teeth, "thank you... for staying... with me."

He took your hand with his, "don't. Don't say that, [Name]. You will live, don't say anything else."

You just smiled, looking at the ceiling. You could feel how he carried you and laid you on something soft— the couch in your office?

When Erwin turn his head to place you somewhere comfortable, he spotted the flowers laying on the floor. He saw the flower with roots. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he feared of what would happend.

Quickly after that, he heard frantically steps approaching you, instantly opening the door and revealing Hange with her assistant, Moblit. Both of them had worried expressions, and they looked frightened too.

Hange approached you, examinating the problem. Erwin stayed near you, always watching over you. Hange tried everything she could with the help of Moblit, but nothing was working.

"I have nothing else! Nothing is working, Erwin!" She desperately said, looking terrified. "Nothing!" Moblit tried to solve the tension, but he was worried too about what was currently happening. You look at the woman and smiled at her. You take her hand and squished it with the strenght you had left.

"Don't worry, Hange..." You saw her tears flow, looking desperate, you look at Moblit who was at the verge of tears, "don't you worry either, Moblit." He just averted your gaze. You let go of her hand, and looked at the ceiling again, mumbling to yourself, "who is the unluckiest of them all...?" you let out a painful laugh, "it's [Name]..."

A tensed silence overcome after that. You were barely breathing, but you were still alive. But you will be gone soon.

Someone opened the door while talking, "Oi, [Name], I'm sorry I–" but quickly stopped himself when he saw the situation in front of him. "What the fuck is happening?"

Nobody answered. Everyone stayed in silence, not daring to say a word.

"I asked something! Answer!" He desperately shouted, looking at your weak form on the couch. You were so pale, your eyes were glossy... he wanted answers! "Someone answer me!"

"[Name] is dying." Erwin stated, looking coldly at him.

"Why?! He was fine just minutes ago! What happened?!"

Moblit left the room, and Hange was sitting down on a chair near the couch, covering her face with her hand. Erwin was at your side.

"Because he has an illness no one knew about but us."

"Nobody told me shit!? What the fuck?!" He quickly approached your form, trying to talk to you, but Erwin hold him. "Erwin, tell me what is happening is happening to him!"

The blond just glared, "He is like this because he loves you."

The ravenette just dumbfounding looked at the taller man, "Oi, eyebrows, stop joking around and tell me the fucking truth!" he took Erwin by the collar, but before anything could happend you talked.

"He... is telling the truth, Levi." Your voice was getting lower by the minute.

"What kind of bullshit is that?"

"I was trying to tell you... earlier," when you said that, he averted your gaze, ashamed. "I have something that makes me throw up flowers... Hanahaki curse."

"That's not possible, how can I believe that...?" This time Hange interfered, with her red eyes looking at Levi. "It's the truth. Because he loves you, and you don't love him back, something just... bloomed inside his lungs. We didn't believe it at first but now... we do."

Levi stared at you with widening eyes. He couldn't believe the situation; but his friends wouldn't lie like that, right? No, they wouldn't. He just looked at you, and said,

"I'm sorry..." He frowned, holding the tears. Was he going to lose you too? Because he hurt you? He hated himself. He regretted what he said.

You just sweetly smiled at took his hand, "no... need. Not your fault, hmn?" you let out a chuckle, "nobody's fault..."

He kneeled at your side, caressing your cheek. He was unable to cry— even if he hardly wanted to. He muttered his apologies over and over, until you didn't smile anymore.

Finally... You could see them again. Tim, Trisha, Elizabeth, Simon, Petra, Ed, Oulo, Gunther... your comrades smiling at you. Welcoming you. Everything was blurry.

"See you..." you said, before giving your last breath.

Nobody said anything.

Levi was still holding your hand, muttering his apologies.

Hange was crying, trying to hold back her sobs.

Everyone was busy with their feelings, that they didn't notice Erwin coughing, covering his mouth.

Erwin wasn't surprised when he spotted a white petal on his palm.

e n d.

epilogue

Reiss Mental Asylum / 9

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

[Name] was leaving his apartment. While locking his door, he heard a male voice calling for him from behind. He turned to see his neighbor, Porco, with his usual frown.

"Hello, [Name]." He greets grumpily; [Name] knows Porco isn't a morning person. Nevertheless, he's very responsible for his work.

[Name] smiles, "Good morning, Porco! Leaving already?"

"Nothing good about mornings," he passes a hand trough his hair, irritated. "They want me already in the office. Pieck called me 5 on the fucking morning."

[Name] chuckles, "sad to hear that. What was the reason? It's not usual they call you this early."

"Late work and deadlines. The usual," he looks at the [hair color] haired male for a couple of seconds, and his face relax, "but anyways, how is the work have been? Haven't seen you lately."

[Name]'s face lightened up by hearing his work, a smile appears on his gentle face. Porco raises an eyebrow by seeing this, "It has been good! Everyone helps me! But— uhm—" [Name] gets quiet suddenly when he remembers some certain... problems he has been trough. 

A frown appears on the blond's face, carefully watching [Name]. "But what?" He asks, but his petite friend doesn't speak. Porco analyzes him, but then rapidly connects the dots of his quiet behavior. Gritting his teeth, he lowly grunts, "is someone bothering you? Tell me."

[Name] shakes his head hastily, moving his hands in front of him in denial. "No, no! That's not it— it's just that I'm a little clumsy, that's all!" He laughs nervously.

Porco relaxed a little by hearing his words, but his frown remained and crossed his arms. He carefully looked at his friend, who played with his hands and avoided his gaze. "If someone is bothering you or anything, just let me know. I will take care of it."

[Name] scratches his neck, shyly. The [hair color] haired knew he could count with Porco in almost everything. His neighbor was a good friend— he cared about him a lot. Porco was a serene and short of words kind of person at first when [Name] first arrived, but the blond quickly warmed up to him. If [Name] was scared by hearing things in the night, he could always count on Porco accompany him or help him search so he could sleep.

"Thank you, Porco. I really appreciate it." [Name] brightly smiles, but changes his kind expression to a toothy smile, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to look tough, "if someone is bothering you too, I will pay them a visit too!" He raises his fist.

Well, [Name] looked stupidly cute trying to act tough. Porco couldn't hold a chuckle from coming out, making [Name] blush in embarrassment. The [hair color] haired laughed nervously, scratching his neck and dropping his "tough" act.

"Sure thing, doll." The blond calms his laughs, "anyways, where are you working at?" he changed the subject, feeling more relaxed.

"Reiss Mental Asylum. It's a little far away from here but—"

"WHERE?!" Porco loudly yells, eyes widening in horror, scaring and making [Name] yelp, "in the asylum?! [Name], WHAT?!"

"i—is there a problem with it? Everyone is nice there! I—I mean—"

"[Name]! You— that— that fucking place is—" before Porco could finish, a cellphone ringing could be heard coming from his pocket. The blond grunted in annoyance and took it, "what?!" he harshly answered, gritting his teeth. 

[Name] awkwardly stood there, hearing Porco's yells and swearing against his cellphone. 

"Goddammit, Pieck! Right now I–" looks like he's interrupted, and he rubs his temples, "alright, alright! I will fucking go— Just tell Colt and the others to not touch shit. Yes, yes whatever," saving his cellphone, he sighs. He looks at [Name], still with his frown, "you and I will talk later. Can't believe you are in that fucking place."

[Name] hastily nods in return, "s—sure! But when...?"

Porco is already hurriedly leaving, "will phone you later." But he abruptly stops, remembering something. He turns to see [Name], raising an eyebrow, "did you take your lunch?"

The pretty male gently scratches his cheek with his index finger, a little embarrassed by his clumsiness. "I didn't make any..."

"You are so clumsy." He approaches [Name] and gives him a box, red painting his cheeks, "take mine and don't speak. Just— just take care of yourself, alright?" Porco seems to want to say something else but refrains to. Nevertheless, he blushes and frowns, averting [Name]'s gaze. "Call me for anything."

"Sure, Porco! You too!" [Name] laughs to try and lighten the mood, and he certainly does. Porco rolls his eyes and chuckles before leaving, and when he's out of [Name]'s sight, his face returns to his worried face. Porco won't have a good day at work, it seems.

++++++++++++

[Name] was just arriving to the asylum, he was called by a female voice. Looking up, he is meet with Margaret's unfamiliar gaze on him.

"Honey, good morning. Dr. Smith is calling for your presence in his office, I think it would be better if you go right away." She explains, and the assistant can catch her shifting uncomfortably when mentioning the last sentence. Margaret sounded... urgent by the order— not the usual, "take your time" tone.

Blinking, watching her carefully, he tried to deduce what caused her to tense, but he couldn't decide right away. He just answered with a quiet 'alright' and left, a little nervous himself. If the woman was this strange, then maybe director was in a... certain mood. 

The woman sighed. She didn't want to scare him or make him anxious, but her face and tone betrayed her away. 

Dr. Smith could be a scary man when he wanted.

++++++++++

The assistant knocked on the door gently, hearing a 'who?' from the other side. The voice sounded deep and irritated— gulping, [Name] nervously answered:

"[Name] [Last Name], sir..."

There was an immediate answer. "Come in."

[Name] anxiously opened the door, pecking inside before coming in. Erwin was sitting straight, looking right at the small male, carefully as a hawk. [Name] just stands there awkwardly, trying to not see Erwin in the eyes. He says a quiet and pathetic 'good morning', then plays with his fingers, gulping. Erwin didn't look particularly relaxed nor in a good mood— he hummed, [Name] shivering a little by the deep sound. 

"I received a notification yesterday— Eren Jaeger attacked you during your session. Is that correct?" Erwin's voice is loud and clear-- but if you listened closely, the blond's voice was filled with bitter. He was absolutely furious about what happened, but the assistant couldn't tell his anger; only irritation.

Gulp. [Name] tries to explain, clumsily. "Y—Yes but—"

"What did he do?" Erwin clenches his teeth, holding his anger from showing. He had to take it easyー [Name] won't stay away this time if he controls it.

"It's— it's nothing serious, sir! We just—" [Name] keeps trying, and he can see how Erwin is changing— he tries to protect Eren, but he knows he can't succeed. 

He slowly stands, voice dangerously lowering as he carefully watches [Name], "what did he do?"

A shiver gets down [Name] spine. The blond's voice wasn't the usualー it was getting lower and dangerous. "He just- grabbed me by my collar. t-that's all." [Name] was wearing a turtle neck shirt today— if not, his bruise that looked purplish and slightly yellowish could be more noticeable— Porco would have been nuts, and maybe Erwin too. 

The taller man narrows his eyes, examining the assistant from head to toe. "Any injuries?"

[Name] played with his hands nervously, averting his gaze, "n—no, sir..."

Unfortunately for [Name], Erwin knew everything about what had happened in that room. And he didn't like one a bit that –his– [Name] wasn't telling him the truth. Why wouldn't he? Why was he lying to him? What was the purpose of that?

Erwin clenched his fist, and a frown could be noticed by now. [Name] was nervous and frightened by the cold expression the other had. Erwin's patience was running out quickly. "That wasn't what I heard. Show me your neck."

Unconsciously, the assistant placed a hand near the bruise, trying to prevent the other from seeing it. "M—My neck? But I—"

Erwin's patience snapped— the man immediately approached [Name] and pulled his collar down harshly, by the big surprise of the poor assistant. His cheeks blushed in embarrassment, but the blond couldn't enjoy such view because his rage was blinding him by the bruise decorating –his– boy's skin. 

The man wanted to snap Eren's neck with his own hands.

"He will be punished." Erwin coldly said, caressing [Name]'s bruise while looking at itー he wanted to cover that horrible mark with new ones, made from him. To think such a disgusting beast touched him... angers him, disgusts him. 

"No!" [Name] abruptly yelled, surprising Erwin. "Don't, Erwin!"

The blond frowned, trying to ignore how good it felt hearing his name being said, "he will be. It's against the rules to harm a worker; he knows that very well, [Name]."

"I know but— he was just stressed! He just followed his emotions, don't do anything to him, please!"

Erwin stayed in silence. His anger was raisingー why was [Name] protecting a rat like Jaeger? It was foolish. No matter what he says he will punishー

"Please, Erwin!"

Shit— hearing him plead was hot. And hearing his name along the pleading was an absolute joy. Erwin's thoughts began to be messy, and his whole body felt warm quickly— specially in his lower area. 

It wasn't any help that the previous male in front of him was looking at him so pleadingly, grabbing his hands so softly. It was making Erwin insane, and if the man wasn't that good holding himself, he may have been doing something entirely different right now. 

He couldn't stop imagining –his– [Name] under him, admiring the perfect and small body— the soft skin being marked by him. The gasps and moans the [hair color] haired would let out; the flustered expression Erwin would love to see. How tight would he be? How much would he plead? Erwin wanted to find out as soon as possible.

"E—Erwin...?"

The blond blinked. Looking at [Name], he noticed his hands were on the small waist, slowly wandering. The assistant's hands were on his chest, trying to make space; his cheeks were slightly reddish and a confused expression was on his face. He looked adorable; gorgeous. 

Erwin had a strong urge to keep touching him— to rip his clothes and take him over his desk. To hear his voice moan his name while he thrusts over and over...

"Erwin~!"

"What would you do for him to not be punished?" Erwin dangerously spoke, lowering his voice, sounding raspy and gruffly. He took [Name] chin gently, looking at his pretty [eye color] eyes, admiring the long eyelashes he hadー he was just like a doll. A doll he will posses. 

[Name] tried to answer confidently, showing a cute face unconsciously. "A–Anything necessary!"

"Uhm?" Erwin smiles amused, raising an eyebrow, "anything is a dangerous word." He touches his lower lip with his thumb, trying to ignore the demons whispering on his ear— telling him to give in and tear apart [Name] clothes right there, exposing his perfect skin— to touch it, to mark it.

The assistant doesn't pay much attention to the clear dirty moves the blonde is making. Somehow, [Name] gets more determined by remembering his purpose as a doctor, and his answer is less clumsy now. "My patients are important to me!"

"Is that so..." Erwin's hands began to slowly wander around [Name]'s waist, confusing the assistant. The blond grits his teeth, trying to hold himself. Nevertheless, he slowly approached [Name]'s soft lips, trying to taste themー their lips just inches from touching. Erwin's hands tightly hold [Name]'s waist in anticipationー just a little more and he would taste his beautiful ー

"Erwin...?"

The blond grunted, irritated by the interruption, again. "Slow. You just got his trust recently— take it slow." Erwin thought, sighing in disappointment. He makes space, rubbing his temples, "will think for your punishment instead, hmn?"

[Name] blinks, confused by the whole moment. Thankfully he focus again to answer, "Ah! Y-Yes!"

"But if someone else touches you again, I will not be as forgiving, got it?" Erwin carefully looks at [Name], and the assistant happily nods, thanking him. The blond smiles, turning to his desk, "that's all. You can return to your work, [Name]."

The pretty male smiles brightly, thanking him again before leaving. Erwin stops smiling and sits, looking down at the bulge forming in his pants. Just thinking about [Name] was a blissー his perfect body under him, grabbing his naked tights hard; leaving marks on them while he thrusts [Name] over and over, hearing his sweet voice moaning his name...

"What have you done to me?"

++++++++

After that, the assistant walked through the corridors trying to find one of the therapy rooms. Once again he found himself alone— Zeke had important matters to attend in the higher floors, where [Name] couldn't go freely unless it was Eren's or Reiner's session or if Zeke needed his assistance. He didn't mind anyways— the alarms up there were heard often, seeing nurses and guards hurrying upstairs. He didn't want to get himself into trouble, so he hold his curiosity and didn't pry.

Finally spotting his destined place, he couldn't not notice the familiar brunette, Vincent, standing with another guard near the door. The male instantly saw him, giving him a big grin, which the assistant laughed quietly by it. 

"Good morning," [Name] happily greeted, receiving a hum from the other guard and a loud morning! from Vincent. The assistant remembered he always was paired with different guards— not these two. Confused, he questioned. "Weren't there other guard in my time? N—Not that I mind, of course!"

"I told you I was going to be your bodyguard, [Name]!" Vincent jokingly pouted, looking like a child, before changing into a serious expression."Anyways, didn't you heard? They dis—"

"Hey!" The other guard immediately yelled to the two, making them jump, "my apologies, doctor, but we can't share that information with you. Orders from the directors."

"Ah! I forgot that, sorry..." Vincent frowns, as if he remembers something he didn't like. 

[Name] blinks, confused. He didn't understand why the information wasn't available for him. After all, they were his coworkers too. "Orders...? From who exactly?"

"We... can't say, sorry." Vincent answered this time, looking apologetic. 

[Name], seeing as he wasn't going to get any answers, decided to leave the topic and go to the session. Taking the door handle, he said, "A—Alright... see you in a hour..."

The brunette grins, loudly saying, "Don't forget our date!"

"Don't say it that loud!" [Name] blushed, quickly entering the room, ignoring Vincent's laugh. 

The other guard, seeing the assistant leaving, he says, "Dating him will give you trouble, man, I'm telling ya."

Vincent keep smiling without caring, looking dreamy. If he was honest, he didn't mind getting into trouble if that meant being with him. His companion could see that, worrying him. 

"Look at what happened to Jin and Roman, Vincent. That wasn't a coincidence." He tried to reason with him, but it was with no avail. Vincent didn't hear him at all— and that frustrated him. He sighed in defeat, "you are a thick head."

++++++++++++++

The room was pretty big— it was all white, and the only source of color was the paintings and utensils. There was a noticeable smell of paint, but not that strong to be uncomfortable. Various canvas placed in a circle, along with chairs and a little table to put on the painting instruments. There was a wooden desk facing all the patients, where an instructor was boringly watching them. It was quiet.

The room wasn't full— there were only twelve canvases and only six were occupied. And two of them were used by Armin and Jean, his' previous patients. And when [Name] entered the room, Armin instantly saw him and his face lightened up, stopping his actions to pay full attention to the angel. Jean, in the other hand, was grateful that he appeared, as he was bored with the therapeutic session.

"Good morning," [Name] greeted with a smile, receiving a flat answer from the worker and some patients. He made his way to Armin and Jean, who both were sitting side by side. His smile grew at seeing them, "hello! How is your paintings going?"

Jean was instantly going to make a remark, but Armin was quick to excitedly answer first, surprising Jean by the sudden action. 

"I'm painting the ocean! Look!" He said like a child, proud of his work, wanting it to show to his mother. But his tone changed to a timid one, "What do you think?"

[Name] gets behind Armin and lowers himself a little to see the painting, while the blond's heart is beating so fast by how near he can feel him. He can smell his sweet scent: honey and flowers. 

Would he taste as good as he smells? 

Being so close,  Armin can admire how beautiful he is— his lips, his neck... 

Uh? 

The blonde blinks, noticing something... different. Something darker can be seen just slightly under his turtle neck. What is that?

While Armin tries to secretly look under the turtle neck while [Name] is admiring how the painting is beautifully done. It makes him feel calm, looking at the waves and puffy clouds— but he notices two people looking at the ocean, but he can't distinguish who they are —if they are somebody—.

"Who are they?" [Name] suddenly asks, surprising Armin and making him jump, forgetting about what he was trying to see secretively.

The blond gulped nervously, blushing but smiling, "...you and me."

The [hair color] haired blinks surprised, but quickly smiles warmly at the adorable words. "That's nice of you, Armin. Your painting is beautiful!"

The blonde plays with his hands nervously, crimson painting his cheeks. He blurts rather loudly, timid but brightly. "M—Maybe... We can go together... to the ocean!"

[Name] blinks for a moment, but smiles warmly. He pats Armin’s head gently and promises, "we will!"

Armin smiles, looking dreamy. 

Jean just looks at Armin as if he’s crazy— never in his life in this shithole he saw the blonde like this. He wasn’t like this, not even with Mikasa or Eren. He looked... normal, in a way. The blond never smiled nor blushed, or to be exact never showed a reaction such as this.

What did just this pretty assistant do to him?

"And you, Jean?" [Name] questions with a smile, but instantly ask again as he sees his painting— a black haired girl, and his curiosity grows, "who's that? your girlfriend?"

He slightly blushes, already forgetting his past thoughts, "of course not! She's just—"

"Eren's sister." Armin interrupts, smiling maliciously at Jean.

[name] blinks, "...E—Eren's sister?" Just the name shook him— he tried to not care too much, but Eren was... He did scare him badly even if he tried not to. He shivered a little, remembering the past interaction.

The two catch immediately the change of behavior— it was noticeable. The assistant was smiling just a second ago, and just by mentioning Eren, he changed. His expression changed drastically to a worried one. 

"It's something wrong?" Jean frowns, cautiously watching [Name]. The two toned haired male didn’t even try to joke— a change like that wasn’t normal by just a name.

Unconsciously, [Name] touches his neck, remembering his bruises. "Uhm..." He's upset— hearing him calling him whore. It did hurt him. But he blinks repeatedly, looking at the two patients looking at him in worry. The assistant harshly shakes his head, trying to smile. "It's nothing! I'm fine!!".

They looked at each other weirdly, but before they could ask for his well being again, [Name]  changed the topic quickly.

"Anyways! How do you know her?"

"She visits Eren," Jean half answers, seeing [Name] tense by the name again, and proceed, "and Armin a lot. Looks like a threesome."

"I will never do something like that with them.” Armin answers quickly, looking rather angry and insulted. 

Nevertheless, Jean catches something in his words and grins, “with them? Ohoho, so there’s somebody you rather have sex with?” 

The assistant’s cheeks turn red by the turn of topic, and tries to stop him, “Jean, please stop. That’s not nice topic at all.” He shakes his head in disappointment, Jean just grins.

Surprising enough, Armin didn't back off with the dirty question. He answered as if the answer was obvious, taking [Name] and Jean aback. "Of course— with the person I love the most."

"Is that so? And who is this "loved one" if it isn't Eren nor Mikasa?"

"Obviously it's [Name]."

...

...

...

WHAT?!

[Name]'s face had to be priceless because Jean was holding his laugh and amazement as best as he could, but being the asshole he is he laughed loudly. The assistant just blinked and blushed deeply, surprised by the answer he just heard. Covering his mouth, he had nothing to say at that.

"Really? The assistant?" Jean laughed, out of breath. He couldn't think of Armin and [Name] being together at all— what did the blondie saw in him anyways? 

Were his soft lips, gentle eyes, perfect skin that got him captivated?

Or maybe just thinking about his caring attitude that made Armin love him?

Just as Jean was thinking these unusual thoughts, his laughter stopped, and a soft crimson painted his cheeks. He looked the other way, rethinking his opinions on the assistant.

Well, Armin has some taste I guess...

"I-I'm... uhm..." [Name] didn't know what to say or think, but he could see Armin patiently waiting for his answer. "I'm... flattered, Armin. But a relationship as this can't be! It's-It's against the rules!" the [hair color] haired tried to reason without sounding harsh, worried about his feelings or how he was going to react.

Smiling, the blond didn't care at all of what he was saying, the only thing he was happy for is that he didn't say no. "That doesn't matter, [Name], love is stronger than the rules." Just remembering the books he read before taught him that love always preserves. Always.

While [Name] was thinking on how to fix the situation, thankfully, a bell could be heard, indicating the current task was finished. He sighed in relief, and he quickly tried to leave the place. "W-Well, that's my que to leave! I hope you finish your paintings. Have a great morning!" And with that, he left in a hurry.

Neither of the two remaining said or do anything. Armin was smiling with an unusual expression on his face, looking at the door where [Name] left.

Jean just kept quiet, thinking about his new opinions on the assistant. He felt like a school girl out of nowhere. Was he... rethinking his feelings for him? No way.

++++++++++++

Walking trough the halls, [Name] was glad that awkward moment was over. He wasn't good at all at rejecting people's feelings on him, so he dodging was the best thing he could do.

Vincent was with him, chatting quite excited. The guard had waited for him to guide him to the cafeteria, and [Name] was happy by just talking to him, forgetting his thoughts. Unfortunately, Vincent got a call from his radio, saying they needed him in the upper floor. He just winked at the assistant ready to leave, not before saying he had to be ready for his date. [Name] only blushed, embarrassed by it.

He walked alone again, gaze locked on the floor.

"[Name]." A stoic voice was heard, and the assistant looked in front of him, seeing Levi standing there with his hands on his bags, looking at him. He smiled, waving at the ravenette, approaching him excited. "Adorable." 

"Levi! Hello!" [Name] stood beside Levi, getting his hair behind his ear. "Where's Mike?"

Levi's eye twitched, getting unnoticed by [Name]. "Busy upstairs." He quickly said, walking without waiting for the assistant.

Quickly following him, Levi says they are going to the cafeteria. [Name] walks along with him, chatting and laughing with him.

The short man just listens, comfortable in [Name]'s presence.

+++++++++++

Levi, getting his food to the table, was surprised to see a red box [Name] took with him as well.

"Finally you made your food, brat." Levi said, giving a bite to his food, looking at the well made food the other had— it looked like a house wife did it. Rice, carrots... octopus-looking sausage? 

He blushed and smiled, shaking his head in denial. "I—I didn't make it! My neighbor gave it to me!"

Levi narrowed his eyes instantly, changing his mood to a bitter one, "gave it?" The thought of someone making him food made him highly suspicious— was that person interested in him? Well, that could be obvious. This looked like a school confession, making food for your crush. 

The thought only irritated him.

But why? Why did something that unimportant got him upset?

"Yeah! He's really nice." [Name] smiled brightly, crimson painting his cheeks.

The only sight of him smiling for someone else's cooking disgusted him.

Why?

Levi's appetite disappeared, the food didn't taste good no more, so he just sipped his tea, thinking about the assistant. He couldn't explain it, but something inside him wasn't happy at all with someone gifting him things freely, even more when this neighbor was just at his side.

"Ah! Excuse me," [Name] said when he heard the particular ringtone —that he added specially for Porco—, and answered it. He didn't know it, but his face lightened by just recognizing who it was. 

That, made Levi narrow his eyes suspiciously.

"Porco, hello!" [Name] smiled, "yeah, everything is okay! Stop worrying!" He laughs hearing the other answer and replies, "don't worry. Anyways, how's work? Did you send it in time?"

While the conversation occurred, Levi couldn't stop feeling... strange. He wasn't happy by seeing [Name] this excited by just a call —of who knows who—, he was irritated. Unconsciously he crossed his arms and frowned— a sudden thought of taking the phone and demanding answers was strong, but refrained to do so. 

Levi's thoughts were getting darker, and he ignored every sound around him. He looked at nothing in particular with a frown, not happy at all with where is thoughts were going.

Nevertheless, [Name] returned, the call being finished.

"Who was it?" Levi carefully inspected [Name] face to see any hint of emotion— and he certainly caught how happy the other was by his smile.

"It was my neighbor! He wanted to go out." He happily answered, taking bites of his food.

"Neighbor? The same as your age you mentioned the other day?" Levi could faintly remember him talking about it, but he thought it was a nobody. Seems that changed.

"Exactly! I haven't been able to talk to him much, so I'm glad he called me." 

"What was the call for?"

"Oh, we're meeting this friday! He has a busy schedule but made way for it."

Levi gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, tightly. He felt something burning inside him by hearing the other spoke about that 'neighbor'. A date? With someone he doesn't even know?

The ravenette tried his best to calm down, he breathed slowly, rubbing his temples. [Name] noticed he was tensed, and worried him, "Are you alright? You look... angry...?"

"I'm fine." He answered shortly.

The two ate in an awkward silence.

+++++++

Work was over for [Name]. He quickly went to the exit, ready to leave the building. But before he could open the door, someone called from him— turning, he saw Levi.

"I'm going to take you home today." He awkwardly said, with his usual frown. Even if he tried sounding soft, it always came rather harsh, but he hoped [Name] got the idea.

The assistant frowned, "Oh, I'm sorry, Levi. But I'm not going to my apartment right away."

"I can drop you off to wh—"

"[Name]! Ready to go?" A new voice was heard, and Levi turned to see Vincent, the semi-new guard they hired the other week. The ravenette grew suspicious of his words, and he raised an eyebrow, looking at [Name], who only smiled apologetic at him. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"

"I was just telling Levi I'm going with..." [Name] blushed, trying to say whatever he was trying to say without feeling embarrassed, "you on a date right now."

Levi's eye twitched in annoyance. Just— the fuck? How— how this guy could get a "date" with [Name]? AND before him? He bet this disgusting guy was even going to try and kiss him if he let him.

"Levi...?"

"Fine. See you tomorrow." The ravenette harshly spoke, leaving the building before anyone could say something else. If Levi was another minute there, he would get more irritated and angry, and he didn't want to scare [Name] off. 

But he had to make him understand one day.

+++++++++++

Vincent and [Name] were having a good time at the coffee shop— they were chatting and laughing together. The guard even brushed [Name]’s hand sometimes, making the smaller male blush a little and awkwardly chuckle. The taller male sometimes complimented him with the only purpose to see him blush and act adorable.

It was obvious Vincent was attracted to [Name].

It was clear for Levi, at least. 

He could see them all the way from his parked car, far away from the coffee shop, where the two love-bird were sitting, beside a window where the ravenette could watch them.

He was furious and jealous, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Gripping the wheel tightly, Levi clenched his teeth. A murderous gaze was plastered all over his face.

He couldn’t accept the fact that this disgusting man touching his beautiful love.

      Love? That’s how he feel towards him...? Love...? Was he lovesick? How? It was if... a love spell was sent to him. He wanted to touch the soft skin, smell his hair, have him on his arms, do whatever he wanted with him.

Levi wanted [Name] to be his completely.

He only had to clear his way and win this game.

Reiss Mental Asylum / １１

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

11. dangerous

“Wouldn’t it be weird? I mean— being watched is awkward enough…” The assistant frowned, unsure about the task. 

“We’ll have our table not that far away from them.” Mike knew [Name] would be really persistent with these subjects— he was too positive, too kind. That could develop a bigger problem in the future if they allowed it, and the taller man could already smell the trouble ahead.

He had to protect him before something happened.

“But still… wouldn’t be better to socialize?”

“That would be problematic. You know how that could end, [Name].”

“Well—” He tried to object, but remembering all of the closeness he got with some of them came to his mind, shutting his hopes out. “I guess…” He wanted to rehabilitate them, help them reintegrate to society. Wasn’t this the point of their job here? The assistant let out a defeated sigh at these thoughts.

“Hey,” Mike gently ruffled his hair to take his attention and comfort him, showing a small smile, “small steps.” [Name] blinked and relaxed his shoulders, nodding with his head and smiled. That was true— he can't just solve everything in a few weeks! After all, the sessions with the patients were just starting. There was plenty of time ahead!

The cafeteria was the next place they had to be— it was pretty simple, just watch and observe the patients. If they were lucky, no need to sedate them would be needed, if they behaved. Only the patients with good behavior lately were allowed in the cafeteria, but that didn't mean one of them couldn’t control themselves and cause an scene. Mike told him not to worry too much— the blond explained he could smell patients’ changes. [Name] just blinked at that statement.

The doors were already open wide. Plenty of patients were chatting, others didn’t. The table where doctors were was noticeable— their white coats and clipboards gave it away, along with the harsh gaze they wore. The two headed that way, not before [Name] saying a cheerful ‘good morning!’ to the patients he passed, receiving some weird looks from them, but with his’ patients they almost got hearts in their eyes (only Armin and Bertholdt, tho). The others smirked, eyeing him from head to toe.

Most of his patients were already there. After all, the bell had already been heard and lateness wasn't allowed. (Un)fortunately, one certain patient was missing— Eren Jaeger. Mike had explained the little ruckus he had done had cost him his permission to go into the cafeteria for the mean time. [Name] didn’t know if to feel relief or not.

By [Name] surprise, Vincent was there too— but not at the doctors’ table. He was standing in a corner along with other guards. They met eyes, and [Name]’s cheeks blushed a little. He smiled and waved, receiving a handsome grin and a wink from the guard.

As expected, everyone saw the small interaction— some with frowns on their faces. Specially Armin, Bertholdt and Connie. The three narrowed eyes at the guard, suspicious by the evident flirting.

“[Name]!!! Here!!!” A joyful familiar voice could be heard. [Name] turned to see Hanji waving her hand enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. She was at the doctors’ table too, and as the assistant could see, some doctors just looked at her in irritation and others tried to ignore her.

[Name] chuckled a little, sitting down along with Mike. Zeke and Levi were there too, with their usual frowns. For some reason the short man appeared angrier than usual. The assistant greeted everyone, waving shyly.

  And at the other table...

“Ah?! Did you see that guard just now?” Connie irritably spoke, frowning at the guard as he gritted his teeth.

The small blond’s eyes were locked on the stoic guard— his lifeless blue eyes observed every bit of him, as if he wanted him dead.

Bertholdt looked angry. He recognized who he was— the memory made him clench his jaw tightly.

Jean grinned, seeing the upset reactions of some. “Seems pretty boy has some competition behind.”

“Even you, Bert? Unbelievable,” Reiner interjected, crossing his arms. He smirked, “but I can’t deny he has a nice ass.” His compliment gained a laugh from Jean and some glares from the other three.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt exclaimed, frowning at his friend. The blond just grinned devilish.

“What? It’s the truth.”

The smaller blond grunts, “anyways, why isn’t Eren here?” He tried to look for his friend, but he couldn't find him anywhere. Usually he would stay with him.

“You don’t know, Armin?” The blond boy shakes his head, curious and confused, “I heard from other guards he was into a fight with [Name].” Jean answers nonchalantly, glancing at the assistant, who was chatting with the doctors.

“Uh?!” Not only just Armin reacted, but everyone on the table did. Reiner looked at Jean with interest in the situation, as he saw Bertholdt, Connie and Armin widening their eyes by such statement, changing their focus on Jean again.

“Yup. I heard he went physical,” Jean crosses his arms, deep in thought. “So that’s why [Name] acted nervous when hearing his name the other day...”

The small blond’s eyes widened in shock— Eren knew he loves [Name]. Armin have made that clear long before his friend had met the assistant. So why did he do something so stupid? Just the thought of him putting his hands on [Name] angered him— so the unusual mark he noticed was a bruise. A mark on his precious [Name]. A painful mark. What was Eren thinking? How could he?

Connie looked irritated and annoyed, to say at least. The assistant had made him interested in someone in a long time, if ever. Hearing that Eren was going nuts over this delicate man only made him think of him moving institutions or just Eren breaking him in the end like the others. If [Name] disappeared, then who will hear his greatness? The toy should get take care of if he didn't want that outcome.

Bertolt felt furious. His beautiful [Name], attacked by a beast like him? No way— he wouldn’t allow that happening again. How could he dare do that? And for what reason? Angel wasn’t someone evil like the others once were— he was gentle, kind and smelled nice. If something happened to him, Bertolt couldn’t know how would he react. That won’t happen!

"I guess we won't see him for some time. Maybe a week,” Jean crosses his arms, “if he’s lucky he doesn’t have to go to that place.”

“Who knows, seeing how kitten has some people around his finger...” The buff blonde spoke, eyeing the doctor's table. At first glance it wasn't noticeable, but he could see how intently were some workers watching him. So this was the game everyone was playing: alright, Reiner could play it too. He was lucky enough to get the pretty assistant on his sessions— just thinking of having him under him turned him on. He chuckled darkly, wondering. 

Jean eyed everyone in secret, taking note of their expressions. Holding his laughter, Jean could only think how unlucky [Name] was for being in this disgusting place and attracting their attention. A deep part of his mind told him he wouldn’t last much being involved with these people. It would be really a shame to kill someone as cute as him— if that happened, he had to benefit himself before.

“We’ll see.”

  Vincent could only guess what was happening in that table— seeing their sinister smiles as their gazes were locked onto the doctor's table worried him.

back at the doctors' table...

“Anyways, did you had fun in your date?” Levi bitterly asked, narrowing his eye as he drank his tea. The two particular men instantly froze, looking confusedly at the ravenette by hearing such... ridiculous thing. [Name]? Dating? Who? Why?

At the mention of it, [Name] blushed a little, smiling. “Y–You shouldn’t say it out loud...”

"Woaaah! [Name] had a date?!" Hanji grinned, watching carefully the scene before her. “Look at this big boy!”

“Date? With who?” Zeke forcefully asked, holding his anger and jealously. His grip on his cup tightened as he tried to play it off, but obviously with irritation showing.

Mike just observed in silence, not that pleased of the new information.

“U—Uhm, well...” he played with his fingers, “with Vincent...”

Zeke’s eye twitched. “Who is Vincent?”

“H—He’s a guard!”

“The one you waved at earlier?” Mike asked, receiving a nod. 

Now it was turn to the three workers to glare at the poor guard, who did feel the amount of glares he was given just in a few minutes. Vincent gulped, his left eye twitching slightly. His partner, who was not that far away, raised an eyebrow in amusement by the situation he was in. I told you, dumbass.

Zeke narrowed his eyes, tapping his cup with his finger impatiently, "you know romantic relationships with workers is against the norms, do you?"

Pretty hypocritical, wasn't it?

"I mean, it wasn't as a lovers date! W-We are just friends, hehe!" [Name] tried to reason, shaking his head hastily.

“And what about your neighbor?” Levi spoke, trying to sound as casual as he could. In reality, something inside him turned and shifted uncomfortably.

NEIGHBOR?!

Zeke wasn’t happy by what he was hearing. Really? Two filthy men he didn’t know? Now not only he had to take care of the damn people working inside this shithole, but he had to somehow know about [Name] private life? Just how many people were trying to get their filthy hands on him?

“He cancelled! He said his job was going to take all of his free time for some time. Also, he could go to a business trip next week. It’s a shame... I was looking forward to it.” [Name] frowned. I wasn’t the only reason he was upset— he felt secure when Porco was in his apartment. The [hair color] haired didn’t like being lonely at all in the night, and when his neighbor went into business trips his sleeping schedule wasn’t right. He could get easily scared sometimes, specially before going to sleep. There were times were Porco called him in the night, trying to not let him feel that alone. [Name] asked him to keep talking until he fall asleep— such a  childish behavior, but in the end his neighbor complied.

“Ha! Seems our [Name] here is a heart taker!” Hanji exclaims, grabbing [Name]’s cheeks hard, making the assistant yelp. “Such a cutie!!! Who can resist him?! Look at him!!”

Rubbing his temples, Zeke sighs in exasperation. “Hanji, can you please leave my assistant before you tear his pretty face apart?” The comment made Levi raise an eyebrow, while [Name] blushed. Mike stayed in silence, his expression not showing any emotion.

Letting go of [Name]’s face, Hanji clapped her hands and grinned. “So! Finally we are all together so I can tell you about my dears!” Everyone sighed as they heard Hanji begin to talk about her patients, a topic nobody wanted to hear. All of the people present knew about her stories about them, and this woman could keep going on and on until their shift was over.

Before they could prevent it, [Name] asked who they were— big mistake. It was Hanji's opportunity to take this poor soul into her dark and twisted stories about their 'experiments'. [Name] didn't like that term at all— he wondered if the woman really saw them as objects, but hearing her calling them 'babies' and 'dearies' troubled him. Is she... okay?

The small talk turned out to be a much extended one that wasn't even finished when lunch time ended. [Name] thanked she wasn't her assistant, or thanked Zeke wasn't the mad scientist persona.

"Unfortunately I won't be with you today, [Name]. I have some other things to take care of, but don't take my absence like an opportunity to do whatever you want and get into trouble."

"O-Of course not, Zeke! I won’t get into any trouble!!”

The doctor stood up from his seat, ruffling his assistant's hair without care. "Good, because there's punishment."

[Name] just saw the doctor leave with some colleagues, including Hanji and Mike. Both of them waved at [Name] and Levi one last time.

Levi just watched quietly, drinking his tea. He wasn’t in a hurry— there wasn’t anything he had to do in the next hour, and opted to calmly drink. His silver eyes shifted from his tea to [Name], who’s eyes wandered trough the leaving patients. Unfortunately for him, Levi did notice how his [eye color] eyes stop somewhere before smiling and blushing.

The ravenette could only guess who was the source of such happiness— Vincent Genett. The guard he never took attention on. Levi wasn’t a dick to everyone— he treated everyone equally, until they got in his nerves. And in this case, Levi was justified for hating this guy’s guts. Not that he needed justification anyways— who was Vincent? He only remembered seeing him around from time to time since what, one-two years? Pretty surprising, knowing what fate guards had in their horrible job. This Vincent had some luck if he persisted this long. Hopefully, that luck would run out sooner or later.

[Name]’s attention shifts on Levi, who is watching him with a cold stare. The poor assistant twitches in surprise, pressing his lips in a thin line while his eyes curiously look at Levi. Noticing the stare, Levi takes a drink of his tea, still frowning.

He was annoyed.

"What's your schedule for today?" Levi spoke with a particular harsh tone, meeting [Name]’s eyes with his cold ones. 

"Hmn..." [Name] tilts his head, looking at the side to try and remember, "session with Reiner and some observations outside."

Levi wasn’t in the mood— Reiner? Really? And Zeke left him to die or what was his plan? Unfortunately, simple workers like Levi couldn’t watch over session of other doctors, so trying to stalk watch [Name]’s session wasn’t possible. He bluntly spoke, already getting up. “What are you waiting for, then? Get your shit and let's go."

The assistant could clearly hear an annoyed tone coming from the ravenette. Was it because he rejected his ride the other day? [Name] didn't have the opportunity to see his 'scary shorty mode' as Hanji had told him before. It's not as if he had wanted to, but it seems he definitely did something wrong earlier to get him talking like this. Should he apologize...?

Taking his belongings, [Name] blinked as he remembered. "Ah! This was supposed to be an observation but I didn't do anything!" The assistant widened his eyes, clearly worried by his lack of work. Zeke would be angry at him, no doubt!

The ravenette closed his eyes, not worried. "don't worry. You will see what they really are one of these days."

He blinks, confused yet curious. "What they really are...?" [Name] tried to get an answer, but Levi didn't respond after that. What could he mean by that?

Before leaving, he waves to his patients and tries to meet gazes with a certain guard. When he sees Vincent, the guard just winks at him with a serious face.

Is that his 'business' face? [Name] can't help but chuckle, leaving with a big smile.

The ravenette, clearly aware of the two love birds, looked at the guard with the coldest eyes. Surprisingly, Vincent holds the stare without a problem. Levi just leaves with a grunt, clearly annoyed.

The patients who were being escorted by guards, didn’t hide their hate towards the popular guard. Vincent didn’t express any fear nor other emotion— staying serene and going on with his job, the guard remained unaffected by the glares. 

As Vincent get behind the patients, his partner got besides him, whispering just for him to hear. “Whatever you are doing with that worker, I advice you to nope the fuck out, man. I  could sense the hate all across my spot.”

”A few glares won’t make me stop.”

”Few glares? Don’t you know which glares, Vince? Fucking Zeke Jaeger. And don’t make me name the patients!”

”Don’t care— what could they do anyways?”

”Uh, dunno, kill you? Are you being an idiot on purpose?” Abe rolled his eyes, “do I need to refresh your memory about what happened to Jin and Roman?”

”They disappeared. Why would you bring them again?”

”Because they were killed and then disposed. Didn’t you hear the news about two bodies being found around these forests? Pretty coincidental, if you ask me.”

”[Name] doesn’t have to do anything with it— what’s the correlation here?”

”Look, man–“ before Abe could spoke about it, their radios transmitted hysterical and loud voices being interjected by static. That only meant one thing— problems upstairs. “Aw, shit. Who is it this time?”

Both guards ran to the upper floors, preparing themselves for whatever  they were going to see. “Don’t think this conversation is over, dumbass!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The doctor's expression was drastically different— it seemed as if he was worried about losing something. The patient's face, in the other hand, was frowning with dull eyes.

“You got lucky— If [Name] hadn’t talked to Erwin who knows what he would have done to you!” Zeke exclaimed, not believing his brother's behavior. He knew the repercussions patients got if they harmed a worker— if it wasn't for Zeke, Eren would have gotten a worst punishment by now. Even more when [Name] was the one he hurt.

The brunette raised an eyebrow— plenty of patients harmed their doctors and the boss had never been called for something like that— after all, patients were nothing but mere objects for them to experiment on. Hell, Eren never hear of him at all. Why he appears when is [Name]...?

Then Eren realizes. “He is the same.” The comment made his brother raise an eyebrow, confused.

“What are you saying?”

The brunette crossed his arms, a smug smile appearing on his face. “Angel does have an effect on everyone. To say even the boss had fallen for it...” He really is something. "How, even? Is he really going into everyone's bed?"

Anger grew on Zeke has he heard those dirty words being throw at his precious assistant. His brother calling him a whore was more than aggravating— infuriating. It seemed Eren already began to made an image of [Name] that shaped into a dark and twisted one— a pretty assistant got a job and suddenly everyone is kissing his shoes.

"I won't allow you talking about him like that. He is my assistant— it's better if you began to cooperate for yours, and my sake."

The statement only made Eren narrow his eyes in suspicion— it was clear his brother wasn't just bothered by their safety. He too was captivated by this person, not just protective. Surprising, to say at least. He thought his brother wasn't the type of person to get to attached, but it seems he was wrong after all.

That time in the gardens gave it away, anyways.

"You too like him," he raises an eyebrow, "surprising when you don't care about who is killed here."

Zeke just looks at him with crossed arms, clearly unhappy by his childish behavior.

"It's just little time something happens to angel. You know that, right?"

"You are my little brother, Eren. I care about you— that's why I'm telling you to stop. You don't know how Erwin is really like."

"And you?" He spat, "what are you really like?"

The blonde scratches his ear, sighing. This isn't going well. "I'm just asking you to behave. [Name] isn't a bad person at all, and I know you can see that but are too stubborn to do otherwise. Even Armin likes him."

"He's easy gullible."

"Tell that to the five other doctors who tried to help and he didn't even speak to," Eren presses his lips into a thin line, "you should trust Armin's choices. [Name] is not a bad guy."

"Say that to the others who take advantage of us before."

Why does he have to be this exasperating?

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Where are you going after?” [Name] tried to strike a conversation, feeling uncomfortable by the lack of talk.

”With Erwin. He wanted to discuss some matters to me.”

”I–Is something wrong?”

”No.” He answered without looking at him, frowning.

It was clear Levi was angry at him still, or maybe irritated by him? [Name] pressed his lips in a thin line, not pleased by the situation. The raventte didn't even wanted to look at him— he looked annoyed and tensed. Before the assistant could ask what was wrong, multiple voices quickly approaching interrupted him.

“Get out of the way!” Multiple guards ran trough the hall, almost hitting [Name] if it wasn’t for Levi quick reflexes. The ravenette pulled [Name] against him, both pressing against the wall to let the workers trough. Some people didn’t have such luck, hearing the yell and grunt some let out. [Name] could notice most guards had some type of syringe in their hands, and some others tasers.

What's happening? The workers headed to the upper floors along with some nurses. They looked worried, and many calls were heard from their radios. "L—Levi, do you know what's happening?"

"Problems in the upper floors, that's all you need to know." Levi freed his grip on [Name], letting the assistant free. The ravenette dusted his clothes, "I'm leaving." He spoke, already walking away without another word.

[Name] frowned slightly, trying to not feel upset. He waved even if the other didn't look, raising his voice to let Levi hear, "s-see you later!!" He didn't receive a gesture in return.

Sighing, [Name] clapped his hands and changed his expression to a brighter one— he couldn't let his patient see him like that! He turned, nodding at the two guards guarding the door, receiving the same gesture. A guard opened the door to let him in, [Name] thanked him and came in with a small smile, preparing himself for anything.

[Name] was met with bored gold eyes looking at the wall, but just as the attention shifted to the assistant the expression quickly changed to a playful one.

“Finally I got to see your pretty face.”

“We meet again, Mr. Braun," [Name] knew Reiner's session would be a pain to handle. He was crude, didn't sugar coat his words and didn't care about decency. Even so, he was grateful Reiner’s warrior persona hadn’t showed before— but it made him wonder when his luck would wear out. “Been pretty long since we last meet like this!”

“Not too long,” he said, “you know— I’ve dreamed about you. The types of dreams where I have you under me and—“

“That’s nice to hear, Reiner. Reaaally nice...” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “well, we saw each other in the mess hall. Its nice to see you have friends around!”

“Bertholdt has talked about you— impressive how he has taken an special interest on you,” he leaned on his chair, “he doesn’t like me talking about how good looking you are.”

“Mr. Hoover is really nice. We have both got a great time together—“

A loud noise is heard when Reiner bash his hands on the table, his expression turning into an angry one, “I won’t allow it!” He shouts with fury, a drastic change from his playful self from before.

“Mr. Braun,” [Name] controls his fear and talks in a soft voice, not wanting to get killed. The warrior just woke up, “I’m not here to harm any of you— that’s been my promise since I got here.”

“I won’t fucking allow a demon like you touch nor make him fall in love with you— you are nothing but a devil trying to use us.”

[Name] didn’t know how the blond’s cuffs were resisting— would that even save him?

“Bertholdt is just too blind to see the real devil you are— but I can.” He slowly stands, “He’s so idiotic to see— you are such an evil creature, luring him with sweet words and that pretty face you wear— but deep inside, you are nothing but a filthy demon that needs to perish.” [Name] gulps under such cold stare.

“I’m not here to harm any of you, Mr. Braun,” he reassures, “I’m here to help you, not to hurt— I seek for your future, Reiner. That's always been what I promised since I got here.”

He snorts. “It isn’t the first time I’ve heard the exact same words before— you don’t actually think that. You devils just experiment on us. We are your guinea pigs— nobody in this hell actually helps us!"

Experiments...? The word reminded him of Hanji— the woman had called her patients exactly that. Nevertheless, the assistant didn't think it was something more than a horrible nickname. "Experiment? What are you talking about? My assistance doesn't support something as horrible as that."

"Act as if you don't know, pretty boy. This isn't new— you are just like them." He slowly gets up, as if he was trying to not scare the deer,  "but I won't allow it anymore." And before [Name] could say anything else, Reiner quickly took his collar and pinned him in the desk with a slam, as he muttered immediately, “you scream and I’ll snap your neck.”

Reiner’s face was terrifying. [Name] didn’t want to show any fear, but seeing just how cold his eyes were, how he was glaring with such hatred made him froze. This didn’t look good— what did Reiner wanted to with him? If he wanted to kill him, he would already have done that the second he got his hands on him.

”What should I do to you? Maybe I can have some fun before killing you?” Reiner spoke with playfulness in his voice, but his cold expression didn’t change. There wasn't even a smile— just a bored look.

”F–Fun?” [Name] quietly muttered, hoping the type of fun Reiner was thinking wasn’t the one he feared. He had to do something before that happened, but him being so much weaker than Reiner was obvious. Fighting him wasn’t a good idea if he clearly had the upper hand. Then what could he do? He should throw something at the wall to let the others notice there was something happening— yeah, or at least the lack of noises would weird them out. "Reiner," [Name] tried to get his attention, and he tried his best to not let a sound out when he felt hands getting under his shirt.

"No talking— don’t even whimper.” [Name] could feel the rough hands over his skin— twitching his body with every touch, but not in a good way. Shivers that were caused by fear. Biting his lip, [Name] tried to think about what to do. It was clear Reiner didn’t want to hear him at all.

But something changed— it seemed Reiner’s ‘fun’ didn’t last long, because the hands who were exploring the assistant’s skin slowly stopped in [Name]’s neck. Before [Name] could snap out of his thoughts and realize the danger, a hard pressure on his neck made him unable to breathe.

”You can deceive him, but not me.” Reiner’s cold eyes stared at [Name]’s teary face, but there was no enjoyment from it. 

Between him trashing around trying to get Reiner off, [Name] took his clipboard and threw in on the wall, hoping that would get the guards’ attention about what was happening. Hitting the blond with his wouldn't be of any use— Fortunately, the door quickly opened to reveal the two guards already with syringes in hand. 

Thankfully the guards were capable of handling this quickly— before Reiner could have done more harm, a guard injected him in the neck harshly, freeing the assistant from his grip, allowing him to breathe. [Name] fell to the floor, coughing and breathing, shocked by Reiner’s violence. The other guard was unable to help him at the moment, seeing the blond patient trashing around and yelling curses at the guard trying to control him.

[Name] was surprised— whatever that syringe had, it didn’t seem to work at all. Without knowing, [Name] backed up and pressed his back on one of the corners, still out of it and with a horrible headache. He could only see what was happening— the two guards trying to control the warrior but with no avail.

”Reiner, stop!”

[Name] had to do something! But what could he do?! He couldn’t handle Reiner even if he tried his best. The blond seemed out of it, blinded by rage. The only thing he could do was knock him out— but with what? This room was basically empty! Shifting his vision back and forth, the only thing [Name] could focus on was on the chairs— fortunately, they were metallic, so at least a little push would make Reiner knocked out. [Name] only hoped it didn’t hurt that bad.

There wasn’t another choice— Reiner wasn’t willing to listen to him nor anybody. One of the guards was already on the floor with a bloodied head, while the other tried to fight the blond off. Breathing erratically, [Name] gritted his teeth and stood up with fake courage, taking the chair, gripping it as hard as he could, his skin turning white, and while Reiner was turned, [Name] said,

”I’m sorry Reiner!” And with a loud whimper the terrified assistant hit the back of Reiner’s head two times, luckily knocking him out. [Name] immediately threw the chair out of the way, kneeling to Reiner’s side and check on his pulse. “I didn’t hit you that hard, did I?!”

His attention then went for the other injured guard. Checking his pulse too, [Name] sighed in relief there was. He spoke to the other guard, “a—are you okay?!”

The man didn’t answer at first. He breathed heavily for a couple of minutes, seeing Reiner laying on the floor. “I thought I was going t fucking die,” he got up, dripping his sweat from his forehead. He then went to where [Name] was, checking on his partner. “Let’s just call the nurses...” the man quickly took his radio and spoke with codes [Name] didn’t know, signaling where they were and what they needed. “You didn’t have to do that. If you didn’t do what you did the three of us would be dead by now— three people to add in the fucking list.”

”The list...?”  A LIST? Has anybody died in this job?! "W-What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" The guard raised an eyebrow, blinking skeptically. "Since when do you work here?"

"U-Uh— one week ago?"

"It was just a dark joke, don't take it too seriously, doc."

Two nurses and two more guards went inside, interrupting [Name]'s curiosity about 'the list'. One guard and one nurse carried the unconscious guard on a stretcher, while the other pair laid Reiner on his bed. [Name], worried about a possible concussion, noticed there wasn't another stretcher for him.

"W-Wait— won't you send him in the infirmary?" The assistant asked, allowing being checked by the other nurse.

"We are not allowed to do that, doctor." The nurse simply answered, as if it wasn't a big deal. She didn't even look at him in the eyes—

"B-But—" [name] hissed when being touched on his neck, "he could be hurt!"

"We are not allowed to bring patients to the infirmary— the infirmary is only for workers: guards, doctors, and nurses."

"Then, how would you check on him without equipment...?"

"We are experts, doctor. No need to worry about Mr. Braun's health."

"Not to worry...? B-But I—"

"I believe you have to go to the infirmary, doctor. That bruise doesn't look good."

"But he—"

"Would we need to notify the director of your refusal on following instructions, doctor?" The nurse snapped, subtly glaring at him.

[Name] faltered. What was going on? "...of course not."

"Then let's go to the infirmary."

[Name] could not stop himself from looking behind him, watching Reiner on his bed. There wasn't blood on his clothes nor his head, but the nurse had told him he was "completely fine". The nurse hurried [Name] outside, tightening her grip on [name]'s arm, guiding him.

All the way to the infirmary, [Name] thanked he didn't run into someone he knew— if they reacted so worried with what happened with Eren, he didn't want to know how Erwin would react until he knew about this.

"Please, please don't let them notice..."

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

After going to the infirmary, the nurses had told him there wasn't anything harming. The bruise would eventually heal by itself, so there wasn't much to be checked anymore. Unfortunately for him, the bruise looked horrible and was much, much noticeable than the last one. Well, [name] couldn't really whine about it, at least the only thing he got was a nasty bruise, and not what Reiner was going for at first. Whatever change of mind he had at that moment, at least [name] was grateful for it.

The rest of his day was outside, watching other's patients routines. It seems for today there was luck on his side, because it didn't seem Zeke, Levi, Erwin nor Mike knew about the incident that transpired not to long ago. If they had knew, he would be in Erwin's office by now, or maybe the director was just waiting for tomorrow to decide what to do with him and Reiner.

Tomorrow was going to be a rough day for sure— Erwin had already forgiven Eren for a small angry attack, and [name] was sure he wouldn't pass this situation even if he begged for it. Hell, [name] would try regardless— Reiner has a serious disorder, that, at least, is a justification for what happened. The assistant was sure to try to not harm Reiner— something was not right...

[Name] could already see Vincent in the distance, waiting for him at the door. Of course— Vince had invited him to his apartment to eat burgers. How could he forget? Well, the past situation was stressful and dangerous, and the only thing in his mind for the rest of the day was tomorrow. Just remembering Erwin's cold stare made him nervous...

"You finish?" Vince asked, but just as [name] got nearer, the guard couldn't ignore the nasty bruise he had in his neck. "Woah! What the hell is that?!" he widened his eyes and locked closely at [name]'s neck.

[Name] tried to hide it by pulling his collar up, frowning. "It's not that serious... just had an accident today."

"That doesn't look like an accident, [name]." Vincent looked worried, "what happened? who did you have session with?"

[Name] pressed his lips, not sure if to answer with the truth. Well... Vincent had helped him before, and he didn't seem to be one for gossip. "Reiner."

The face Vincent made was hilarious to [name]. It seemed he had seen a ghost— the looked pale by the name. "R-Reiner?! Holy fuck, are you alright?! What did he do? Did the guards help you?! How—I—"

"Calm down!" [Name] chuckled, "it's not that serious! The guards came quickly and helped me."

"Not that serious!? Did he choke you?!" Vincent looked hurt— almost embarrassed. Was because he wasn't there to help him?

"...Yeah," the assistant scratched his face, "but he didn't do anything else, okay? why don't we just leave? I don't want to see the others right now..."

The guard could see [name] uneasiness, as he was looking around discretely. "Why? You don't want to be found with that on your neck?"

"You know how they get when something happens to me. They get... like a mom." Both laugh.

"But you know they will know eventually, right? Specially the director, he knows everything that happens here."

"I know... but I don't want to be here when that happens— I know tomorrow I'm going to get called once again to Mr. Smith's office, so let's leave!!" The assistant began to push Vincent to the door playfully.

"Okay, okay!" Vincent laughs, "let's go get some burgers, okay? And then we can watch some TV to at least forget for today what happened." [name] couldn't agree more with that. He was really hungry.

While Vincent talked, he discretely tangled his fingers with [name]'s, surprising him by the gesture. The assistant looks at him with a blush and widen eyes, but keeps silent. He averts his gaze, not minding Vincent's action. The guard grins, squeezing his hand.

"I know you will like them!" Vincent grins, looking childish. [Name]'s heart fluttered, smiling along with him. Both of them waved at Margaret before leaving. The woman was behind the reception, gently smiling at them and waving back.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The trip trough Vince’s apartment is filled with laughter. The guard has come to the realization he loved hearing [Name]’s laugh, and his smile is too adorable to ignore. His past anger of what happened went forgotten, and just the image of [name] smiling for silly things he says makes him have butterflies.

They stop pretty far away from their main destination, dropping on a food area. There are plenty of food stalls around with bright signs— the place seemed dirty and not very well kept, but that didn’t matter to all the people who were around. [Name] didn't care much either— it wasn't as if his place was five stars, and he himself wasn't that caring.

Vincent guides him trough the alleys, getting on the burger stall he tells him about. The place seems pretty lonely— there's two pairs of people sitting on the counter eating their burgers. The one behind the counter notices Vincent, seeming to know him.

"Vince! Been waiting for you, where the hell were you?" the man speaks in a deep voice, "and who's that? your boyfriend?"

"W-Wha— James, don't scare him!!"

It was a man, maybe on his early forties. He had blond hair and his eyes were brown— he looked pretty tall too, maybe 6'0? He looked buff too, almost like Reiner. There was a scar on his neck and chin. He wore an apron with an image of a burger with a happy face on it, along with the name of the stall— 'happy mcburgers'. The apron and his rough appearance was a big contrast, and [Name] tried to hold his laughter as best as he could, not wanting to appear rude.

"Don't worry, [Name]. You can laugh at this fool! Who even wears an apron like that looking like a thug?!" Vincent shouted, smirking. The people who were sitting couldn't handle their laughter, and James only yelled at Vincent.

"And who wants to look like a stick like you, brat!!! Don't even insult me when you are eating my sacred food, boy!" he glares at Vince, sighing exasperatedly, "anyways, I'm James. I guess you are the [Name] he always talks about?"

[name] blinks, interested. "Oh? He talks about me?"

In the other hand, Vincent looks horrified, trying to shut James up. "James, don't, man!!! I take back what I said!!"

James laughs devilish, placing a hand on Vince's face and pushing him away, ignoring his yells. "Of course he does. He doesn't shut the hell up— in fact, you are the only thing he talks about when he gets here."

"That's... interesting," [name] said, blushing a little, "are they bad things?"

"Bad things? This idiot talks wonders about you— how CUTE you are and how—" the man gets interrupted by Vincent throwing ketchup at him, "what the fuck?! Stop using MY ketchup like that, you dumbass!"

"You didn't shut the hell up, old man!!!" he turns to [name], "don't hear him, [name]! He just wants to embarrass me!"

The assistant just laughs, seeing the two fight.

"Anyways, James!! Just give me the usual, but make that two." Vincent pouts, "you should thank me I got you a costumer!!!"

"Thank you? For one costumer? Man, you SAVED my job!" James sarcastically replies, already cooking. [Name] watches intently how he cooks the meat, almost drooling. "Anyways, how is that job going for you both? This kid actually looks smarter than you, so I know he's not a guard." He says, signaling [Name].

"You—!" Vincent frowns, "[Name] here is a doctor, and It's MY job to protect him!" He grins, signaling himself. "Been doing a pretty good job so far!"

"Yeah, I can see that," the man looks at the assistant's bruises, and the boy shyly hides it. "You both better need to look for another job. Your luck may run out sooner nor later."

"Hey, hey! You think I don't know that? But the pay is good, soooo..."

James and Vincent talk for a while, but [Name] doesn't join the conversation that much. It seems James knows somehow it's a dangerous job, possibly because Vincent talks about it? But what did he mean by 'luck'...? Yes, today was actually, a bad day for [Name], but in the end it went okay, as no one was killed. Not that he thought someone could get killed, anyways. Was that a possibility? Well, if he didn't contain Reiner someone surely was going to be harmed severely. But someone getting killed? That sounded too far... As he remembered, he didn't found anything that pointed out the Asylum had any accident like that. This only reminded him of what the guard said to him...

"Let's goooo!" Vincent's voice interrupts him, grabbing his wrist. "Thank you, James!! See you later or never!!"

"You would make me a favor if I stopped seeing you irritating face!" his eye twitches, but his expression softens a little to see [Name], who is waving at him, "and it was nice to meet you, kid. Hope you can bear this idiot."

Vincent guides him between some alleys, stating it was faster. [Name] grew a little worried by how shady they looked, and tried to not think about some thief coming out from the shadows to get them. Luckily the two made it safely to an apartment complex, and [name] could not stop thinking about his own— it looked pretty similar to the exterior of his own.

"You live alone?" [name] asked as both went up the stairs. The elevator had a note saying “out of service”, but thankfully Vincent’s room wasn’t at the top of the building.

"Yep. Been on my own since I was sixteen."

[Name] blinks, surprised by how young he had been. "Really?! And... your parents...?"

Vincent bits his lip, "Well... they left me on my own, so it has been me cycling around jobs."

"S-Sorry for asking..."

"Hey! Don't look upset!" He touches his hand, "if you think about it, if something in my life had been different I wouldn't be here with you."

"You say embarrassing things to someone you have shortly met..." Vincent signals a door— 302. He unlocks the door, opening and inviting [Name] in.

The guard grins as [Name] enters. "Love at first sight, possibly?"

[Name] laughs, "you are dumb!”

The apartment is cozy, just like his own. Vince tells him to sit on the sofa while he takes something to drink. “Do you drink?”

”Not really— I can’t handle it very well.” It was true– [Name] couldn’t remember the last time he had drank, but Porco had told him he can get very touchy when he is in the drunk state.

Vincent places the food on the table, turning the tv after. Immediately, an urgent voice of a woman fills the room— it seems it’s a horror movie. The brunette sits on the floor, looking more comfortable there. [Name] follows.

[Name] takes a bite from the burger, watcing the tv. There’s curiosity growing on him, wanting to know more about Vince, and he can’t help but ask, "ho did you even find the asylum?"

Vincent takes his time, cleaning his face. "A friend told me they were hiring instantly, and I saw the payment so I left my previous job and well here I am."

The assistant looks at him, "Is it hard...?"

Vincent takes a sip of his beer, "sometimes," he hums, "how did you find it?"

"I found an ad in the newspaper! I was surprised they gave me an interview right away, and I was much more surprised when Mr. Smith hired me the same day!" [Name] can’t help but smile at the memory of his messy interview and Erwin’s nice behavior towards him.

"And you..." he asked inquisitive, "don't think about some other places to work...? maybe near your place?"

[name]'s joy flattered, "I tried to but this was the only place I found an opportunity.” he frowns, feeling a bit upset, “A—Am I... Irritating?"

Vincent’s eyes widen, looking horrified. "Oh god, no! I didn't mean it that way, [name]!" He hold his hand tightly, trying to fix his error, "I'm just saying that this work— it can't be hard and dangerous! And, uh, I care about you. And also like you, and I don't want to see you hurt, and—"

[Name] blinks repeatedly, hearing the small confession. "You like me?"

The brunette gulps loudly, blushing a little. He looked embarrassed, evading [Name]’s gaze. ”Y—Yeah... yes, I do.”

[Name]’s face redden. Of course he liked him! Vincent was kind to him and he made it quite evident with his flirting— was that even a surprise?

“I thought that was pretty clear— with the other date and all...” he chuckles awkwardly. 

“B–But— I’m an idiot and dumb and clumsy and—“

“And I like you over all these things,” he grins, looking more confident, “could we... be together like that... someday?”

A small frown is clear in [Name]’s face, but his redden face doesn't wear out. He looks at Vince with unsure eyes, “W–We’ll see. Is that okay, Vincent?”

Vince can’t stop seeing [Name]’s pretty face— his long eyelashes, his soft lips pouting, how he looks at him... “S–Sure! Oh fuck, you are so cute!” the guard hides his blushing face behind his hand, laughing awkwardly. "Don't feel pressured or anything, o-okay?!"

"S-Sure!" [Name] hastily took a bite from his burger, watching the TV but not really processing what was on it. The confession had him thinking— did he like Vincent? He was kind to him, and never passed boundaries or did something he didn't like. He was reliable and looked for his security, but that was his job after all. [Name], on the other hand, didn't have much to offer. He was... pretty uncomfortable to be in another relationship after what had happened before... The assistant was glad Vincent didn't pressure him for an answer, though. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject. “Uhm... sorry If I’m obtrusive, but how come have you been able to sustain yourself for so long?”

Vincent blinks, his face coming to normality. ”Oh well,” he blinks at the tv a couple of times, “I knew I wouldn’t afford going to college, so I tried to finish high school. Unfortunately, I dropped in my senior year.” He takes a sip of his beer.

”It was tough being so young and trying to find a good job. As you expect, there were many jobs that weren’t that... nice. I tried to not get into shady ones, because I knew nothing good would come out of it in the end. I didn’t think it was worth it.”

[Name] subtly looks at him, playing with his hands. "Aren't you... in contact with your parents?"

He laughs, "hell no. Why would I? Mom even with his abu—" he stops himself, not finishing his sentence. Sighing, Vincent looks at the floor with a frown, clearly displeased by what he remembered. "Maybe someday I can get this weight off of me."

"I'm sorry, Vincent! I'll should just shut my mouth!" [Name] desperately tried to apologize, cursing mentally by his curiosity. Why couldn't he just shut up? Was he always this pushy?

"Perhaps I could tell you later, sweetheart." He smiles, "I can see you want to ask more things, so don't be shy."

[Name] takes a bit of his burger, looking at Vincent shyly. The guard curses mentally at how cute he looked once again. ”Since when have you been working at the asylum?”

”Two years,” he sighs, “I know it doesn’t look too dangerous, [Name]. But believe me, it gets risky every time."

"How come I haven't got anything dangerous?"

Vincent raises a brow. "Reiner session wasn't dangerous?"

"Well... not that much!" He laughs, hiding his bruises discretely.

"Okay, we do have months that are peaceful. Like now. But when we have the stressful months..." He rubs his temples, "no matter who is it, there's a chance they will have a meltdown."

"But..." [name] wonders— didn't the upper floor were being more active with guards and nurses lately? He couldn't deny seeing various workers going upstairs. "Lately many workers had gone to the upper floors. Does that mean we are going in the stressful state?"

"I'm afraid we are. I guess next month is going to be a nightmare."

"W-What has been the riskier thing that has happened?"

"Well, it varies, but these are some of my personal experiences. Sometime Reiner got so angry at something in the cafeteria he threw a table to another patient."

"He threw a table?!! But they look so heavy!"

"Yup. I was amazed at his strength— when we were remodeling the cafeteria we had to move the tables with two or three people." He explains, "that’s why they are heavy as hell, so things like that doesn’t happen. But now we take a lot of precaution around Reiner. The guy can just throw you a punch and knock you out.”

“I—I see...”

“There was another time where my past partner got his finger bit off by Sean, another patient."

"H-His finger!?" [Name] looks at his hands with fear, gulping. “H-He didn’t sue or anything?”

Vincent laughs, “of course. But surprise— the contract we sign explicitly says ‘we are not responsible of any harm or accident you may suffer’. That sucks.”

”T-That’s... horrible.” He didn’t even notice he signed to his death. Now working there didn’t sound too wonderful— everyone, no matter who, risked their lives to the people they were helping. If they were anyways.

“That’s why I’m telling you to reconsider.”

[Name] sighs. “As you know, finding a job isn’t easy,” he bits his lip, “I applied to nearly seven jobs and nobody wanted me. Mr. Smith is the only one who took compassion on me and hired me.” [Name] smiles at the memory of Erwin’s kindness— if it wasn’t for him, maybe [Name] would be in the streets by now.

Vincent’s face grim by the sound of Erwin, “that man—“

[Name]’s phone ringing interrupted their chat. The boy responds, looking pretty nervous by who the caller was. The guard raised a brow, pouting.

”Hello? Eh— Porco!” [Name] blinks, “sorry, I didn’t see the hour! Hey— it’s not that late!!!”

Vincent looks at the clock, surprised it’s now 9:30. How in the hell time flied so fast? 

Noticing the call ended, Vincent couldn’t stop himself from asking who the caller was— someone keeping track of where he was in such hours? “Who was it? Your boyfriend?”

”Of course not!! Porco is my neighbor, and my friend!! He gets really worried about me. You know, how it is in the nights around our areas," the assistant gets up, dusting himself, "I should get going..."

”Let me accompany you." Vincent followed suit, turning the tv off.

”Is there a bus stop near?”

"The only one near was the one we dropped by... so no, unfortunately," he frowns, ”sorry I don’t have a car— could’ve dropped you off but...” he blinks, grinning, “hey! I have a bicycle!!!”

”Uh—Hey! Can we get the two on it? Isn't it dangerous?"

"Of course not! We're going to look like these ghibli movies."

"You are ridiculous!"

For some strange reason Vincent had his bicycle forgotten in some room, but luckily it wasn't damaged and looked fine. Both left the apartment, both helping to not drop the bicycle on all the stairs. Eventually they succeed after some painfully minutes— as they left the building, [Name] sighed in relief and passed a hand trough his hair.

"Okay," Vincent gets on, turning to see [Name] as he grinned, "get on!"

[Name] chuckled nervously, getting behind Vincent. "Don't make us fall."

"Of course not! I'm like, a master in the bicycle..." Vincent spoke with a low voice, trying to mimic an old man. [Name] laughed, holding tight.

The ride was fun— Vincent tried to go as fast as possible, almost making both fall. They passed James' stall, [Name] waving at him with a big smile. The man just laughed, whispering to himself 'young love'. Both Vincent and [Name] talked all the way, or more like yelled at each other. Nevertheless, the ride come to an end once [Name] saw his lonely and shady building in the distance. Once Vincent stopped [Name] got off, trying to fix his messy hair.

"That was pretty fun, wasn't it?" Vincent spoke, looking at [Name] with a big smile.

The assistant returned the expression, "I can't deny it. But it was pretty dangerous too!"

"But there wasn't any damage— so it's completely fine."

The assistant shakes his head with a chuckle, ”Thank you, Vincent.” [Name] pecks his cheek, “see you tomorrow!” He says as waves at him and walks away, feeling warmer.

Vincent, with a goofy smile, gently rubs his kissed cheek. “S-Sure! See you tomorrow [Name]!!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

[Name] sighs as he enters the building, feeling tired. He didn't mind it tho— spending time with Vincent was nice, and plus, he learned a little more about him. A relationship seemed pretty soon; he didn't feel ready at all, but he couldn't deny the guard was at least, growing on him. It wasn't as if [Name] was that defensive about making friends, but when it came to serious relationships he was... thoughtful. That was something serious!!

”There you are!" A voice is heard coming near, and [Name] tries to hide his new bruise as quickly as he can.

Where were you— what the,” he blinks, “WHAT IS THAT?!” Porco's eyes widened, pointing at his neck.

”Porco!! Don’t raise your voice, there are people sleeping!!” [Name] whispered, trying to shush Porco.

”What the fuck just happened to you?! I told you that place was bad!” He angrily whispered, gritting his teeth. “I can’t believe it!”

”It was an accident! It’s not that bad!”

”Haven’t you seen yourself in a mirror? That’s no accident. What the hell happened?” Porco took [Name]'s collar and pulled it a little, seeing the damage. It looked pretty bad— he didn't want to imagine how he got that, but he already had some ideas in mind.

"It was an accident." [Name] said once again, covering it. "Nothing happened to me, Porco. I'm completely fine!"

"I can't believe you— what do you want? To get killed?" He huffed, crossing his arms, "drop that job immediately."

[Name] blinks, "drop it? o-of course not! It was so hard to get hired! I can't just do that, Porco!"

"[Name], do you have a death wish?"

"I can't." [name] frowns, "I won't do that— I can't just be selfish and leave them like that."

"Them? Really, [name]?" Porco passes a hand on his temples, clearly exasperated, "don't tell me you just grow attached to whoever you are talking about."

"They are patients, and I can't just leave them like that after getting inside their lives!" [Name] pouts, not liking one a bit what Porco suggests. He can't leave them, honestly. Leaving would not help nothing at all, and if [name] can guess, it's not that he could leave, anyways.

"You surely can get this stubborn— I really can't believe this." He grows, "and this happens just when I'm leaving... what a nice thing to happen."

"Look, Porco— nothing will happen to me, alright? I promise!"

"Of course, sure thing. Only you would say something like that when you almost got choked to death, right?"

[Name] confident voice flatters, "I-I didn't get—"

"Of course you fucking did," he grits his teeth, "I'll think on something. You won't be there forever, [Name]. That place will only kill you."

"I'm promising you nothing will happen," [name] raises his pinky finger, "I'm swearing it."

"You can be really childish, you know that?"

"If you don't complete the promise with me, I will get cursed!"

"Dummy..." the blond tangles his pinky finger with [name]'s, looking at the other side in embarrassment. "Just hang on, okay? Don't do stupid stuff over a company that won't do anything for you in return."

"Porco, I'm swearing to my dignity nothing will happen." [Name] frowns, straightening his stance.

"What dignity?"

"Porco!!!"

I love you and your stories/writings...... Keep safe and healthy, dear!☺️💖

thank you very much! i havent written much but my stories are always on my mind LOL. sorry for the, again, long hiatus.

see this beautiful art made by vulpecula for flower curse!!! Omg 😭😭😭💕 it’s so gorgeous, thank you very much!

Please give a follow for this beautiful person ✨💕

I’ve been reading a lot of fanfiction, shame on me

But |this one| was just so good I couldn’t resist. More on the way tho.

This is from chap. 5