Reiss Mental Asylum / １１

Flower Curse | C. Look for the doctor

emptiness ending

[levi x male!reader x erwin] vomiting; hanahaki disease, angst. C. Look for the doctor

You decide to find the doctor Ziegler told you about— maybe he would have more answers for the matter. You didn't exactly know if this 'Timothy Eisenhower' would be any help; Barry mentioned the doctor didn't have any patients with this illness, so the chances of success were already slim in your mind.

Nevertheless, you think this is the best option. You don't want to die suffocated by flowers— that's not how you wanted to go, and not this soon. You wanted to live— live to explore the outside world along with your comrades.

Yes, that's what you are going to do. Determinated, you nod to yourself, leaving the cold room.

___________________

"Now?"

"Yes, right now."

Erwin closes his eyes, thoughtful. "I can't go with you— the expedition is in two days and—"

"I'm not asking you to come with me." You bluntly say, interrupting him, "I just need the address Barry gave you– I'm a big boy, Erwin. I can go alone." Crossing your arms, you look expectantly at him, waiting for the paper.

The blond sighs, calming himself; trying not to get too stressed with your childish behavior. No way in hell he will let you go alone in your current state— even if you act like a teenager and throw tantrums, Erwin will not allow you going by yourself. Who knows what would happen to you? You could faint; you could throw up in front of the Military Police and god knows what they will do to you. Hell, even Erwin could think of–

"Hey, Erwin! Time doesn't wait!"

The commander rubs his temples, trying to think who could accompany you. Hange and Moblit are not available at the moment, and they are the only ones who know about your illness. He knows you will not talk to anyone about the curse, but he just will not allow you going by yourself.

Erwin has only one choice, "Mike will accompany you."

You blink, surprised, "Mike? But he doesn't know about this... I think it's better if–"

"You will not go alone— you won’t go outside without any company. You are absolutely forbidden going by yourself, am I clear, [Name]?" Erwin demands, looking fiercely at you, making you uncomfortable and gulp by the sudden tension in his voice.

Well, when Erwin was acting like this there wasn't much room for demands. You sigh in defeat, making him relax by your change. The blond wasn't pleased by any means using this tone with you— but if it made you obey him, then he had to obligatory use it.

"In any case, I believe Mike has his suspicions. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned anything."

"Alright, alright... Mike is it, then."

__________________

Fortunately, Mike wasn't a man of many words, so the traveling was spent in silence. It seemed Erwin had explained your situation to him, or maybe the tall man just somehow knew everything with his nose of his. Or maybe he didn't bother to ask at all— you weren't sure. Mike didn't really give out what he was thinking that easily.

You were transported to Wall Maria, but you had to walk to point A to B. The doctor was in a district not far from where your transportation left you— so Mike and you didn't mind walking.

"I've smelled different type of flowers on you." Mike suddenly spoke, thinking about something. "Some of them are unrecognizable, but I can smell they are flowers."

You snorted, "Thank you, Mike. That's the most flattering thing someone has said to me."

Mike ignored your joking behavior and kept talking, "and what is rare it's that every time I smell sickness and distress on you, some flower's fragrance appear." He finally looks at you with his stoic expression, "If my assumptions are correct, the flowers are somehow involved with your illness, right?"

You sigh, "You nailed it." Deciding that talking to him was for the best, the rest of the trip was spent by you explaining your situation. Mike listened carefully at everything you said— eventually, his nose could catch a hint of worry and anxiety coming from you. He could smell your distress, and he instantly noticed a certain soft smell— flowers incoming.

Instantly, he could see your face changing in worry, bringing a hand to cover your mouth.

"I—I have to vomit—" You hastily said, looking erratically for a place to hide your sickness. Mike quickly took your shoulders and helped you walk to a lonely alley, where he could see something he never had witnessed — you throwing up flowers. Pink flowers he had never seen or smell before.

You stopped throwing up, but a painful headache came, with the familiar feeling of something stuck in your chest. Mike helped you stand, while you tried to catch your breath.

"Let's just— look for the doctor..."

____________

Mike knocked on the door, with you beside him. You were feeling a little better, but your chest was left with the same feeling. You weren't breathing normally, but thanks to Mike's company you felt a little safer. You thanked Erwin for deciding not leaving you alone.

Not much after that, the door opened, revealing a man. His hair was black, and he showed a neutral expression— his blue eyes were staring at you in confusion.

"Hello gentlemen, what's the occasion?" The man asked, eyeing you too carefully.

You decided to talk, "I'll get straight to the point. I have the stupid flower curse and I need your help." You could see worry in all of his face; he was uncomfortable and tensed.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about, sorry." He said in hurry, closing the door. But thankfully, Mike reacted and stopped the door, leaving it slightly opened.

Was he going to leave you to die? The hell?! "Barry Ziegler told me about you, he said you could help me!" You yelled angrily at him, instantly making him stop.

The doctor looked at you, unsure. "Barry... Ziegler?"

"Yes! The writer!"

The man looked at you two for a couple of seconds, before reluctantly opening the door again. You sighed in relief.

"Come in." He said, letting you in. The man looked outside, seeing if anyone heard you, before closing the door.

_______________________

Timothy, who introduced himself after his little... act, placed tea in front of you. Mike and you were sat on a couch, with a small table in front of you. No one took the tea cups; Mike was with his arms crossed, and you were playing with your fingers on your lap.

"Sorry for my... attitude earlier," Timothy apologized, "It's just, I've been in a couple of problems thanks to this topic, so I had to be careful,"

"Don't worry— just, help me, please." You said, nervous. Mike, who could sense your worry, placed a hand on your shoulder, calming you a little.

The doctor could hear the worry in your voice, he could see your distress on your face— he felt sympathy for you, but he knew he couldn't promise anything.

"I will do everything I can."

After that, the doctor lead Mike and you to a room. It smelled like medicine and herbs; there were a lot of medic instruments you didn't really recognize.

"I will do a check-up, so can you sit here, please?"

You obey. He asks for you to open your mouth, which you uncomfortably do. He takes a look, and a small gasp gets out from his mouth.

Mike instantly asks what is it, worried about your health. The doctor stays in silence, before answering. And what you heard made both of you shiver.

“I can see… a flower growing...”

The room stays in a tensed silence, but the doctor continues with the check-up. After some minutes, he speaks again.

“Like I said before, I will do everything I can to help you. But you have to understand that my options are limited.” He waits for your response, but seeing you weren’t going to give an answer he proceeds, “I’ve been studying this disease for a long time, but with no patients, I haven’t treated anyone. But thanks my research, what I’ve concluded is that a surgery could work.

My hypothesis is that something inside you is growing— and I can clearly see something is in there. Nevertheless, I will be honest with you— surgeries are difficult, and with our limited instruments I don’t know if this could work, and I don’t know the outcome either.

I will ask you: are you completely sure you want to proceed knowing the risks?”

You already knew the risks before coming here. You have been in near death situations every expedition you are in; this isn’t much different.

“Yes, I understand.”

The doctor nods, “We can do the surgery right now, or do you want to-”

“Today.”

“Then follow my orders.”

___________

Mike waited in the living room, tensed. He has been in that house for nearly four hours— it was already dark outside. He didn’t know if he would go back to the barracks. It was logic you would need to rest here, so taking you with him wasn’t a good option, but leaving without you didn’t make him comfortable at all.

Eventually, the doctor appeared, sweating and looking exhausted. Mike wasn’t sure if the surgery was a success or not, and he couldn’t stop himself to worriedly ask.

“Did it work? Is he alright?” Mike got up from the couch, looking expectantly at the man.

The man sighed, before answering,

“It was a success.”

Mike let out a big sigh, relieved.

____________

You had to stay in his house after the surgery— you didn’t wake up right away. But when you opened your eyes, you spotted a blond sitting beside you, with his eyes closed.

You tried to shift your body, but a huge pain in your chest made you grunt. The sound woke up the taller man, and instantly set his eyes on you.

“[Name], how are you feeling? Don’t move too much— your stitches are fresh.” Erwin said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

You blink, disorientated. “W-What…? How did you get here? How long I was out?”

The blond sighs, “When Mike returned without you I nearly had a heart attack. When he told me about the situation I came as fast as I could. Also, you were out for one day.”

You just nod.

“Levi is worried— when he didn’t see you yesterday he barged in and demanded answers. I didn’t tell him the truth, but…”

You didn’t hear him anymore; instead, your head contemplated how hearing that name didn’t bring any feelings this time. No frenetic heart; no butterflies; no thoughts about him. It was… empty. In fact, hearing his name didn’t bring you any joy or hate— and you felt you weren’t in a friendship with him in any way.

In fact… you really didn’t feel anything. Seeing Erwin didn’t bring you comfort, but it didn’t make you tensed. You just… stared, blank. You didn’t feel a thing.

Erwin noticed your lack of attention, looking at your unreadable face— he instantly became worried. The blond always knew what you were thinking by your expressions; he always noticed your feelings right away. But he didn’t see anything; only… nothingness. He became preoccupied.

After that, Erwin called the doctor. Timothy did a check-up on you, and told both of you that maybe the outcome left a shock in your mind, resulting in you not feeling well mentally. He decided you were free to go, and said he wanted you to return for another check-up, to collect information about your recovery.

When you two returned to the barracks, a tensed silence overcome. The commander observed you, seeing your indifferent expression. Your voice sounded low and uninterested, and you barely spoke up.

Everyone noticed your change in demeanor, and they were rightfully worried. Your squad was beyond worried— but you couldn’t explain why you were like this, and you surely didn’t say a thing. It was as if… you didn’t care. As if the world could end and you couldn’t care less.

As expected, your talk with Levi didn’t go well. It went absurdly bad, and the only one who had his feelings shown was the ravenette— he couldn’t understand you at all anymore. It was as if you were another person; not his old friend. You didn’t react at all, you didn’t look for him, you didn’t talk to him.

It was a punch to the gut.

It was as if someone took your feelings away, leaving a vessel behind.

Yes, the petals stopped, but at what cost? Timothy told you maybe this was the outcome of the surgery— your mind changed by taking away the roots from the flowers, leaving you with anything. Tearing apart your feelings.

Erwin was upset by your behavior— he missed your old self. Yes, you were cured, but you weren’t the same. You didn’t talk anymore, your face didn’t show any sign of happiness. He couldn’t see the smile he loved, and that hurt. It did. He couldn’t stop himself to think about you every night, about what could have been if he approached you and embraced you, and he wasn’t very surprised a petal appeared in one of these lonely nights, thinking of you.

Levi was confused and angry. What happened to you? He liked the times were he could hear you laugh, but not there was nothing. Not even a small spark in your eyes, not a smile, not a blush. He was upset— he liked talking to you, and seeing you unresponsive... made him feel sadness. He missed you, and he was desperate when he finally could say that he wanted be with you in a romantic way, but that couldn’t be. You made no sign on wanting talking to him, and even if he approached you in the nicest way possible, you didn’t give answers. Even if he was aggressive, you didn’t give anything. It was as if you never were friends. He was hurt, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Yes, you were cured, but at what cost?

Are you happy with the choice you made?

e m p t y / 10

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter ten — first day

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.

[Name] had matured— his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sun— it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.

He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.

Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.

"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?

Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.

"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"

Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"

The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyes— and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?

"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"

Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"

"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.

" e —— ???? xxxx free!"

A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little more— it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.

Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.

Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Wait— where did he have to go?

Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, —that somehow worked— he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at him— was he worried?

"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there will—"

Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"

[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!

Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happy— his friends were safe.

"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"

The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.

"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different tone— he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.

"I—I left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply back— just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.

"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all you—!"

"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"

"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!

"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubled— he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.

"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]— the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friend— such a sad look that didn't belong.

Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like this— but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "I— See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.

"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.

"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad look— he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?

"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."

"And grandpa too..."

[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. Jäger...?"

She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."

"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."

Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.

"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.

"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."

Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]’s head, he spoke, “already the first day and I already hate someone.”

”Eren is not that bad. He’s just... reckless.” They began to walk to the dormitory.

“In other words, a dumbass.” [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."

As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didn’t exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?

While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.

"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no malice— only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"

"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."

Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind him— his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.

Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"

Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."

"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harm— but why would Jean even care about that?

"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."

"Uhm— what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."

"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"

"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."

"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"

"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change already— dinner will be in some hours so..."

"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."

[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.

Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.

"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.

"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.

Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their training— as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.

Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...

Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"

Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.

  From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.

"Idiot...!"

"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"[Name], wake up. It's time."

The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.

"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?

"Nope, but he'll manage."

[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejection— strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.

Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassed— he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.

The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping on— the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.

When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?

"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.

"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."

"W-What?!"

"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him up— normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."

"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"

"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."

"Headaches...?"

The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.

"Eat before it gets cold— it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.

[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.

Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.

It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomit— after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.

Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.

Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"

The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"

[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.

Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightest— he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.

The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."

"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.

Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with him—and even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?

It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.

"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.

"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"

"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.

[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."

"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"

Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.

It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.

[Name] knew those eyes.

"Ah— you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."

"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.

"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."

"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.

"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.

"Bertholt! We—" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guy— [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"

"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"

"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."

They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.

The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.

He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.

"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsure— was that a compliment...?

"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.

"Uhm... Reiner..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.

The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.

"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.

The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up first— [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.

The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.

Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!

        L̸͔͇̰̬̆͜ơ̵̝̰̓̋̎̓̋̾̇͘o̸͔͖̯̟͍̓͛̍̔̿͘͝͝͠k̷̨͎͖͎͍̞͗̊͑͆̃̐͗̏͛́s̸͙͆̿͒̾͐͝ ̵͍̄͋̈́̒͝ͅl̸̨̉͗̒̿̀̌̃̈́̍̐͘̚̚͝i̴͖̮̼͓̤̼̼̬͚̥̥͉͈̬͛̒͗̚͠k̵̡̢̮̺̠̊͂͠ͅͅe̵̡̖̲̼̺̝̘͔̖̖̞͙̽̉͒̍̂̓̈́̄̽̍͆͠͝͠ ̷̡̭̟̼̭̙̠̙̮̹̞̈͗̾̈́͝͠ẅ̵̛̛̲̲̬͎̘̭̜̲̬͔̞́̎̐̒̋͌̈́̀͛̇͑̄ͅͅę̴̛̝̯͇̼̹͛̚ ̸̛̗̏̽̆̀̋̀̎̽̐̐̚̕͘͠a̴̡͔͔̱͖̤̦̣̺̫̠͑̈́̀ͅŗ̸̲̝̣̹̻̺͖̲̠̿̾̈̂̓ͅe̵̲͙̭̺̥̝͔̹̣̮̤̱͇̽̂̇̔̑̂͑͑̇̏͛͝͝ ̸̲̫̎͂̄̏̀͐̋͐̽͑̕͘͝r̷͇̞̣͍̱̳̗̳̱̞̗̉́̎̋̈̓̔͊̍̒͑e̸͖̥̠̭̰̩͂̓̋̉̌̄̋̂̑̓̈́̽͘u̵̧̧͎̹̱̜̥̫͓͕̞̓́̀̐̀̀̀͑͘̚n̶̝̗̟͠i̴̛͓̯̘̜̻͉̔͛t̴̨̧̗̬̯͖̺̀̃͂̒̃͂̃̍́̚͠͠ê̸̦͍̜̮͐d̷̨̨̓ͅ.̸͚̯̼̎́̈́̃̍͊̃̋͘ͅ

I want to read your "Kisses [Various x Male!Prettyboy!Reader]" but seems like there's no URL found.... I was searching the title on your page but none appeared.. May i ask for you to send the link when you post my ask? Thank you in advance!

hi! i made it private in most of my accounts but my ao3, so you can read it there! spoiler alert: is cringe and horrible T0T but go ahead ;w;

also, i know this ask is old as hell. im very sorry!

Hablas español!!, oh entonces dejame decirte que amo tu trabajo apenas encontré tu pagina de tumblr normalmente leo tus trabajos en wattpad y tu ingles es increíble realmente pensé que era tu primer idioma.

Si!! ay muchísimas gracias ;___; como crecí jugando juegos en inglés pues más o menos me acostumbré, y aunque al principio me costaba mucho escribir en inglés creo que más o menos ya me acoplé jajaja

me pone muy feliz que personas de otros idiomas lean mis trabajos! al principio pensaba escribirlos en español pero decidí mejor en inglés... pensaba traducirlos entonces pero me dio flojera jaksldjlkfhsldf

gracias por leer mis trabajos! me hace sentir bien que te gusten TvT

Just wanted to say I miss u and ur works. I also hope you’re doing better & wishing u the best of luck 💗💗

that felt nice to read (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) i do miss all of you, so i'm going to try and not disappear again. thank you v much and have a good day!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Flower Curse | B. Love someone else

erwin's ending

[erwin x male!reader x levi] hanahaki disease; angst, no vomiting here. B. Love someone else.

Could you love someone else? Could you change your feelings that easily? At first, that sounded impossible— but, if you wanted to survive this mess, then you had to do something about it. You didn't want to try your luck with Levi's answer— knowing fully well if you weren't loved back would turn things worse.

The negative thoughts made you sigh in exasperation. How are you even going to change your feelings? Every time you tried to even think about stopping loving the short man, your mind and heart went erratic in denial. And anyways, who could love you? Loving someone else would just hurt you, if anything. Maybe you should try to stop loving at all— but of course, that thought was impossible.

Then, your objective was changing your feelings. Not an easy task. Hmn... Maybe Erwin or Hange could help you out? Wait, talking about Erwin... Wasn't he a little weird lately? You often could catch him staring at you in a way you couldn't recognize— and always checked on you. Somehow, his worry made you feel something warm deep inside.

Before, he wasn't that touchy if you could remember. Yes, he sometimes got worried for you in the expeditions, but there were just words, no touches. Not that you minded, though.

Could it be...? Nah, of course not.

...Right?

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Knocking on the door, you receive an answer. You open the door, peeking inside before entering. Seeing his tensed form, how serious and grumpy he looked made you let out a chuckle, which made him look at you and smile.

"[Name], nice to see you this soon. Do you need something?" Erwin asks, slightly relaxing his composure, softening his gaze on you.

Approaching him, you replied, "Hange sent you these papers," You place the papers on his desk, along with the many others that were there, "something about new experiments methods? Didn't really paid much attention, hehe." You laugh, rubbing your neck in slight embarrassment.

He lets out a deep chuckle, "As expected of you." He jokes; taking a paper from Hange's.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean, eyebrows?!" He only laughs, and you can't help but laugh with him too. It was weird to hear him laugh lately — to even relax with him.

You notice how he rubs his neck, how tensed his shoulders look. He looks uncomfortable, and even if he knows how to hide everything, sometimes you are lucky enough to catch something unusual from him.

"Take your jacket off." You bluntly say, placing yourself behind him. The demand makes him confused at first, but quickly catches your intentions.

"I'm alright, [Name]. You can go now." He says, but you just ignore him.

"You take it off or I do it. Don't try me, Smith." Placing your hands on your hips, you wait. A smile appears on your face when he obeys, letting out a sigh at first. You take his jacket, placing it on a chair. "Alright, Erwin. Just relax and let me do the job— just keep working and leave your tension with me."

"My shoulders are in your hands."

And with that, you begin to work. You place your hands inside his shirt, near his collar. Pressing your hands against his skin, you tried to be as gentle as possible; but you could feel the tension already on his shoulders.

The blond keeps writing on the papers, slightly relaxing under your touch. You smile a little, pleased that he is less tensed now.

Without minding too much, your eyes began to wonder on his form. You are smaller than him— his skin feels warm against your palms. You can barely grip his strong shoulders under your smaller hands— you began to remember the few times he has embraced you; how he wraps his arms around your form, when you are too fragile to even think. Unknown for you, your hands began to wonder a little too much, and a certain blond notices.

The weird an unusual urge of taking his hands with yours clouds your mind, but a sudden comment made you snap out of your thoughts.

"You weren’t on the mess hall this morning.” He states, not giving you a glance. You shift uncomfortably, blushing.

“No, I wasn’t.” You affirm, sighing. “I wasn’t hungry.”

He hums, not believing you are telling the full truth. You knew he could see through you, even if you two weren’t looking at each other right now.

Silence overcomes after that. You keep massaging his shoulders, and your mind wonders for a moment, thinking again about the blond in front of you— with the consequence of you gripping a little too hard on him, making him let out a deep grunt. Quickly, you let go, blushing by the sound he made.

“S-Sorry! I wasn’t paying attention!” You blurt out, embarrassed by getting distracted by your unusual thoughts about him. Your hands leave him, taking a step back.

He doesn’t say anything at first— you can see how he slowly gets up from his seat, with his back still facing you. There's silence, and you are not sure about what to say or act— you feel suddenly nervous around him right now.

"What were you thinking right now?" He asks, finally turning at you. You feel his strong gaze on you, feeling slightly intimidated by it. You shift uncomfortably, gulping.

"W-What's with the sudden q-question?" You nervously ask, trying to stay calm.

He doesn't answer— instead, he slowly approaches you, like a prey. You avert his gaze, blushing and sweating. The blond finally gets in front of you, and quickly puts both of his arm on the little desk you were supporting yourself. He traps you, like a cat with a mouse.

"W-What has gotten into you...?" You still avert his gaze, gulping nervously. Was he playing with you? Trying to make you do something? The man was hard to read— you didn't have a clue of what he was doing or thinking.

He gets closer to your face, and you could feel the warm irradiating from him, making you blush. "What were you really thinking...?" He whispers in a deep voice, right on your ear. The warm makes you shiver, and he slightly smirks.

The taller man likes being this close to you— being able to see your blushing face, you shivering under him, getting nervous because of him... He didn't know that being with you in your hardest moments was going to make him fall in love with you— hell, he could say that he liked you before, but not that badly like now.

At first, he didn't think much about the massage. But he could feel how your hands began to wonder a little too much around his neck, and somehow noticed your fingers shaking a little. The blond quickly noted your change of mood, and decided to make a move that he would regret or not later.

"Look at me when I ask you something." He demands, and you instantly turn your head to look at him. Your lips are pressed in a thin line, and you can feel your legs shaking. You meet with his blue eyes— they are piercing, focused on you. Very deep down, you like this closeness between you.

And before you can react or say anything, he quickly snaps and steps back, leaving you in a total mess. Blinking, you look at him and notice his frown— he looks... ashamed? embarrassed? You are not entirely sure, but somehow, the situation made you sure about something.

"Sorry, [Name], I didn't—"

You don't let him finish— instead, you harshly took the front of his shirt with both of your hands and close the distance between the two of you. And then, you do the unthinkable—

You kiss him.

Erwin doesn't react at first— he's surprised by your sudden actions, and really doesn't know how to act at first. Nevertheless, the blond quickly gives in, placing his hands on your waist, making you closer.

You acted by instinct; and even if your mind wasn't that clear at the moment, you loved the feeling. You love how he touches you, how close he is. Eventually, you both separate to get air, and Erwin places a hand on your cheek, softly looking at you with what seemed lust.

"But I thought you..." He whispers, not finishing what you know he was going to say.

"I—I know... Me too, but..." Looking at him, you can feel your heart beating rapidly. Gulping, you try to explain yourself, but just an incoherent comment gets out. "I—I think my feelings changed... B—But if you don't-!"

He chuckles and press his lips against yours to make sure that he reciprocates— making you embarrassed once again by your dumb thoughts. "Of course I do, [Name]. I adore you." He confesses, and you can feel your whole being shaking by hearing him say that.

His thumb caresses your lips, and you unconsciously press yourself against him in anticipation. He laughs by your actions, making you hide your blushing face on the crook of his neck. Erwin doesn't exactly say it, but feeling your warm breathes against his neck made him shiver and begins to wonder how much closer he can get to you.

The blond places a hand on your hips, with the other one harshly taking your chin to look at him. The man looks at you with lust, and you are surprised to see such an emotion on him. Not that you mind, thought. You shiver in anticipation, your mind getting some messy ideas about the two of you, and Erwin certainly catches that.

"We should lock the door, shall we?"

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Not much after that, you notice you have no more problems with the curse. The flowers disappear, along with the feeling of being unable to breath. You feel alive again, and you are more than happy for how the things turned out in the end.

Your feelings surely changed; your heart belonged to someone else one, and that one was Erwin. You treasured all of the moments with him, how your hands touch in the mess hall, the messy kisses you both shared, the nights you spent in his office—

Ahem- You get the idea.

Your relationship with Levi didn't change— yes, your feeling for him changed, but you stopped avoiding him. Your relationship with the commander wasn't something public, but none of you really denied it. And obviously, the short man could see everything you two did.

The black haired man couldn't explained, but he felt something stung on his chest everything he could catch the two of you touching or getting too close. He didn't get angry at the moment he knew about your relationship, but he didn't get happy either.

He wasn't pleased— and Erwin could see his unusual frown when he glanced at him, something that he really didn't care about. The taller man only cared about you, and he certainly would treasure all of these memories with you.

Yes, Levi wasn't happy with how everything turned out. And even if he wanted to clear his mind, only confusion got the best of him when he see both of you walking trough the halls looking so happy. Something inside the short man tightened every time, feeling repulsed by the sight.

And when his thoughts cleared and got to the conclusion that the feelings he had for you were stronger than a friendship, he was too late.

Are you happy with the choice you made?

Reiss Mental Asylum / 9

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

[Name] was leaving his apartment. While locking his door, he heard a male voice calling for him from behind. He turned to see his neighbor, Porco, with his usual frown.

"Hello, [Name]." He greets grumpily; [Name] knows Porco isn't a morning person. Nevertheless, he's very responsible for his work.

[Name] smiles, "Good morning, Porco! Leaving already?"

"Nothing good about mornings," he passes a hand trough his hair, irritated. "They want me already in the office. Pieck called me 5 on the fucking morning."

[Name] chuckles, "sad to hear that. What was the reason? It's not usual they call you this early."

"Late work and deadlines. The usual," he looks at the [hair color] haired male for a couple of seconds, and his face relax, "but anyways, how is the work have been? Haven't seen you lately."

[Name]'s face lightened up by hearing his work, a smile appears on his gentle face. Porco raises an eyebrow by seeing this, "It has been good! Everyone helps me! But— uhm—" [Name] gets quiet suddenly when he remembers some certain... problems he has been trough. 

A frown appears on the blond's face, carefully watching [Name]. "But what?" He asks, but his petite friend doesn't speak. Porco analyzes him, but then rapidly connects the dots of his quiet behavior. Gritting his teeth, he lowly grunts, "is someone bothering you? Tell me."

[Name] shakes his head hastily, moving his hands in front of him in denial. "No, no! That's not it— it's just that I'm a little clumsy, that's all!" He laughs nervously.

Porco relaxed a little by hearing his words, but his frown remained and crossed his arms. He carefully looked at his friend, who played with his hands and avoided his gaze. "If someone is bothering you or anything, just let me know. I will take care of it."

[Name] scratches his neck, shyly. The [hair color] haired knew he could count with Porco in almost everything. His neighbor was a good friend— he cared about him a lot. Porco was a serene and short of words kind of person at first when [Name] first arrived, but the blond quickly warmed up to him. If [Name] was scared by hearing things in the night, he could always count on Porco accompany him or help him search so he could sleep.

"Thank you, Porco. I really appreciate it." [Name] brightly smiles, but changes his kind expression to a toothy smile, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to look tough, "if someone is bothering you too, I will pay them a visit too!" He raises his fist.

Well, [Name] looked stupidly cute trying to act tough. Porco couldn't hold a chuckle from coming out, making [Name] blush in embarrassment. The [hair color] haired laughed nervously, scratching his neck and dropping his "tough" act.

"Sure thing, doll." The blond calms his laughs, "anyways, where are you working at?" he changed the subject, feeling more relaxed.

"Reiss Mental Asylum. It's a little far away from here but—"

"WHERE?!" Porco loudly yells, eyes widening in horror, scaring and making [Name] yelp, "in the asylum?! [Name], WHAT?!"

"i—is there a problem with it? Everyone is nice there! I—I mean—"

"[Name]! You— that— that fucking place is—" before Porco could finish, a cellphone ringing could be heard coming from his pocket. The blond grunted in annoyance and took it, "what?!" he harshly answered, gritting his teeth. 

[Name] awkwardly stood there, hearing Porco's yells and swearing against his cellphone. 

"Goddammit, Pieck! Right now I–" looks like he's interrupted, and he rubs his temples, "alright, alright! I will fucking go— Just tell Colt and the others to not touch shit. Yes, yes whatever," saving his cellphone, he sighs. He looks at [Name], still with his frown, "you and I will talk later. Can't believe you are in that fucking place."

[Name] hastily nods in return, "s—sure! But when...?"

Porco is already hurriedly leaving, "will phone you later." But he abruptly stops, remembering something. He turns to see [Name], raising an eyebrow, "did you take your lunch?"

The pretty male gently scratches his cheek with his index finger, a little embarrassed by his clumsiness. "I didn't make any..."

"You are so clumsy." He approaches [Name] and gives him a box, red painting his cheeks, "take mine and don't speak. Just— just take care of yourself, alright?" Porco seems to want to say something else but refrains to. Nevertheless, he blushes and frowns, averting [Name]'s gaze. "Call me for anything."

"Sure, Porco! You too!" [Name] laughs to try and lighten the mood, and he certainly does. Porco rolls his eyes and chuckles before leaving, and when he's out of [Name]'s sight, his face returns to his worried face. Porco won't have a good day at work, it seems.

++++++++++++

[Name] was just arriving to the asylum, he was called by a female voice. Looking up, he is meet with Margaret's unfamiliar gaze on him.

"Honey, good morning. Dr. Smith is calling for your presence in his office, I think it would be better if you go right away." She explains, and the assistant can catch her shifting uncomfortably when mentioning the last sentence. Margaret sounded... urgent by the order— not the usual, "take your time" tone.

Blinking, watching her carefully, he tried to deduce what caused her to tense, but he couldn't decide right away. He just answered with a quiet 'alright' and left, a little nervous himself. If the woman was this strange, then maybe director was in a... certain mood. 

The woman sighed. She didn't want to scare him or make him anxious, but her face and tone betrayed her away. 

Dr. Smith could be a scary man when he wanted.

++++++++++

The assistant knocked on the door gently, hearing a 'who?' from the other side. The voice sounded deep and irritated— gulping, [Name] nervously answered:

"[Name] [Last Name], sir..."

There was an immediate answer. "Come in."

[Name] anxiously opened the door, pecking inside before coming in. Erwin was sitting straight, looking right at the small male, carefully as a hawk. [Name] just stands there awkwardly, trying to not see Erwin in the eyes. He says a quiet and pathetic 'good morning', then plays with his fingers, gulping. Erwin didn't look particularly relaxed nor in a good mood— he hummed, [Name] shivering a little by the deep sound. 

"I received a notification yesterday— Eren Jaeger attacked you during your session. Is that correct?" Erwin's voice is loud and clear-- but if you listened closely, the blond's voice was filled with bitter. He was absolutely furious about what happened, but the assistant couldn't tell his anger; only irritation.

Gulp. [Name] tries to explain, clumsily. "Y—Yes but—"

"What did he do?" Erwin clenches his teeth, holding his anger from showing. He had to take it easyー [Name] won't stay away this time if he controls it.

"It's— it's nothing serious, sir! We just—" [Name] keeps trying, and he can see how Erwin is changing— he tries to protect Eren, but he knows he can't succeed. 

He slowly stands, voice dangerously lowering as he carefully watches [Name], "what did he do?"

A shiver gets down [Name] spine. The blond's voice wasn't the usualー it was getting lower and dangerous. "He just- grabbed me by my collar. t-that's all." [Name] was wearing a turtle neck shirt today— if not, his bruise that looked purplish and slightly yellowish could be more noticeable— Porco would have been nuts, and maybe Erwin too. 

The taller man narrows his eyes, examining the assistant from head to toe. "Any injuries?"

[Name] played with his hands nervously, averting his gaze, "n—no, sir..."

Unfortunately for [Name], Erwin knew everything about what had happened in that room. And he didn't like one a bit that –his– [Name] wasn't telling him the truth. Why wouldn't he? Why was he lying to him? What was the purpose of that?

Erwin clenched his fist, and a frown could be noticed by now. [Name] was nervous and frightened by the cold expression the other had. Erwin's patience was running out quickly. "That wasn't what I heard. Show me your neck."

Unconsciously, the assistant placed a hand near the bruise, trying to prevent the other from seeing it. "M—My neck? But I—"

Erwin's patience snapped— the man immediately approached [Name] and pulled his collar down harshly, by the big surprise of the poor assistant. His cheeks blushed in embarrassment, but the blond couldn't enjoy such view because his rage was blinding him by the bruise decorating –his– boy's skin. 

The man wanted to snap Eren's neck with his own hands.

"He will be punished." Erwin coldly said, caressing [Name]'s bruise while looking at itー he wanted to cover that horrible mark with new ones, made from him. To think such a disgusting beast touched him... angers him, disgusts him. 

"No!" [Name] abruptly yelled, surprising Erwin. "Don't, Erwin!"

The blond frowned, trying to ignore how good it felt hearing his name being said, "he will be. It's against the rules to harm a worker; he knows that very well, [Name]."

"I know but— he was just stressed! He just followed his emotions, don't do anything to him, please!"

Erwin stayed in silence. His anger was raisingー why was [Name] protecting a rat like Jaeger? It was foolish. No matter what he says he will punishー

"Please, Erwin!"

Shit— hearing him plead was hot. And hearing his name along the pleading was an absolute joy. Erwin's thoughts began to be messy, and his whole body felt warm quickly— specially in his lower area. 

It wasn't any help that the previous male in front of him was looking at him so pleadingly, grabbing his hands so softly. It was making Erwin insane, and if the man wasn't that good holding himself, he may have been doing something entirely different right now. 

He couldn't stop imagining –his– [Name] under him, admiring the perfect and small body— the soft skin being marked by him. The gasps and moans the [hair color] haired would let out; the flustered expression Erwin would love to see. How tight would he be? How much would he plead? Erwin wanted to find out as soon as possible.

"E—Erwin...?"

The blond blinked. Looking at [Name], he noticed his hands were on the small waist, slowly wandering. The assistant's hands were on his chest, trying to make space; his cheeks were slightly reddish and a confused expression was on his face. He looked adorable; gorgeous. 

Erwin had a strong urge to keep touching him— to rip his clothes and take him over his desk. To hear his voice moan his name while he thrusts over and over...

"Erwin~!"

"What would you do for him to not be punished?" Erwin dangerously spoke, lowering his voice, sounding raspy and gruffly. He took [Name] chin gently, looking at his pretty [eye color] eyes, admiring the long eyelashes he hadー he was just like a doll. A doll he will posses. 

[Name] tried to answer confidently, showing a cute face unconsciously. "A–Anything necessary!"

"Uhm?" Erwin smiles amused, raising an eyebrow, "anything is a dangerous word." He touches his lower lip with his thumb, trying to ignore the demons whispering on his ear— telling him to give in and tear apart [Name] clothes right there, exposing his perfect skin— to touch it, to mark it.

The assistant doesn't pay much attention to the clear dirty moves the blonde is making. Somehow, [Name] gets more determined by remembering his purpose as a doctor, and his answer is less clumsy now. "My patients are important to me!"

"Is that so..." Erwin's hands began to slowly wander around [Name]'s waist, confusing the assistant. The blond grits his teeth, trying to hold himself. Nevertheless, he slowly approached [Name]'s soft lips, trying to taste themー their lips just inches from touching. Erwin's hands tightly hold [Name]'s waist in anticipationー just a little more and he would taste his beautiful ー

"Erwin...?"

The blond grunted, irritated by the interruption, again. "Slow. You just got his trust recently— take it slow." Erwin thought, sighing in disappointment. He makes space, rubbing his temples, "will think for your punishment instead, hmn?"

[Name] blinks, confused by the whole moment. Thankfully he focus again to answer, "Ah! Y-Yes!"

"But if someone else touches you again, I will not be as forgiving, got it?" Erwin carefully looks at [Name], and the assistant happily nods, thanking him. The blond smiles, turning to his desk, "that's all. You can return to your work, [Name]."

The pretty male smiles brightly, thanking him again before leaving. Erwin stops smiling and sits, looking down at the bulge forming in his pants. Just thinking about [Name] was a blissー his perfect body under him, grabbing his naked tights hard; leaving marks on them while he thrusts [Name] over and over, hearing his sweet voice moaning his name...

"What have you done to me?"

++++++++

After that, the assistant walked through the corridors trying to find one of the therapy rooms. Once again he found himself alone— Zeke had important matters to attend in the higher floors, where [Name] couldn't go freely unless it was Eren's or Reiner's session or if Zeke needed his assistance. He didn't mind anyways— the alarms up there were heard often, seeing nurses and guards hurrying upstairs. He didn't want to get himself into trouble, so he hold his curiosity and didn't pry.

Finally spotting his destined place, he couldn't not notice the familiar brunette, Vincent, standing with another guard near the door. The male instantly saw him, giving him a big grin, which the assistant laughed quietly by it. 

"Good morning," [Name] happily greeted, receiving a hum from the other guard and a loud morning! from Vincent. The assistant remembered he always was paired with different guards— not these two. Confused, he questioned. "Weren't there other guard in my time? N—Not that I mind, of course!"

"I told you I was going to be your bodyguard, [Name]!" Vincent jokingly pouted, looking like a child, before changing into a serious expression."Anyways, didn't you heard? They dis—"

"Hey!" The other guard immediately yelled to the two, making them jump, "my apologies, doctor, but we can't share that information with you. Orders from the directors."

"Ah! I forgot that, sorry..." Vincent frowns, as if he remembers something he didn't like. 

[Name] blinks, confused. He didn't understand why the information wasn't available for him. After all, they were his coworkers too. "Orders...? From who exactly?"

"We... can't say, sorry." Vincent answered this time, looking apologetic. 

[Name], seeing as he wasn't going to get any answers, decided to leave the topic and go to the session. Taking the door handle, he said, "A—Alright... see you in a hour..."

The brunette grins, loudly saying, "Don't forget our date!"

"Don't say it that loud!" [Name] blushed, quickly entering the room, ignoring Vincent's laugh. 

The other guard, seeing the assistant leaving, he says, "Dating him will give you trouble, man, I'm telling ya."

Vincent keep smiling without caring, looking dreamy. If he was honest, he didn't mind getting into trouble if that meant being with him. His companion could see that, worrying him. 

"Look at what happened to Jin and Roman, Vincent. That wasn't a coincidence." He tried to reason with him, but it was with no avail. Vincent didn't hear him at all— and that frustrated him. He sighed in defeat, "you are a thick head."

++++++++++++++

The room was pretty big— it was all white, and the only source of color was the paintings and utensils. There was a noticeable smell of paint, but not that strong to be uncomfortable. Various canvas placed in a circle, along with chairs and a little table to put on the painting instruments. There was a wooden desk facing all the patients, where an instructor was boringly watching them. It was quiet.

The room wasn't full— there were only twelve canvases and only six were occupied. And two of them were used by Armin and Jean, his' previous patients. And when [Name] entered the room, Armin instantly saw him and his face lightened up, stopping his actions to pay full attention to the angel. Jean, in the other hand, was grateful that he appeared, as he was bored with the therapeutic session.

"Good morning," [Name] greeted with a smile, receiving a flat answer from the worker and some patients. He made his way to Armin and Jean, who both were sitting side by side. His smile grew at seeing them, "hello! How is your paintings going?"

Jean was instantly going to make a remark, but Armin was quick to excitedly answer first, surprising Jean by the sudden action. 

"I'm painting the ocean! Look!" He said like a child, proud of his work, wanting it to show to his mother. But his tone changed to a timid one, "What do you think?"

[Name] gets behind Armin and lowers himself a little to see the painting, while the blond's heart is beating so fast by how near he can feel him. He can smell his sweet scent: honey and flowers. 

Would he taste as good as he smells? 

Being so close,  Armin can admire how beautiful he is— his lips, his neck... 

Uh? 

The blonde blinks, noticing something... different. Something darker can be seen just slightly under his turtle neck. What is that?

While Armin tries to secretly look under the turtle neck while [Name] is admiring how the painting is beautifully done. It makes him feel calm, looking at the waves and puffy clouds— but he notices two people looking at the ocean, but he can't distinguish who they are —if they are somebody—.

"Who are they?" [Name] suddenly asks, surprising Armin and making him jump, forgetting about what he was trying to see secretively.

The blond gulped nervously, blushing but smiling, "...you and me."

The [hair color] haired blinks surprised, but quickly smiles warmly at the adorable words. "That's nice of you, Armin. Your painting is beautiful!"

The blonde plays with his hands nervously, crimson painting his cheeks. He blurts rather loudly, timid but brightly. "M—Maybe... We can go together... to the ocean!"

[Name] blinks for a moment, but smiles warmly. He pats Armin’s head gently and promises, "we will!"

Armin smiles, looking dreamy. 

Jean just looks at Armin as if he’s crazy— never in his life in this shithole he saw the blonde like this. He wasn’t like this, not even with Mikasa or Eren. He looked... normal, in a way. The blond never smiled nor blushed, or to be exact never showed a reaction such as this.

What did just this pretty assistant do to him?

"And you, Jean?" [Name] questions with a smile, but instantly ask again as he sees his painting— a black haired girl, and his curiosity grows, "who's that? your girlfriend?"

He slightly blushes, already forgetting his past thoughts, "of course not! She's just—"

"Eren's sister." Armin interrupts, smiling maliciously at Jean.

[name] blinks, "...E—Eren's sister?" Just the name shook him— he tried to not care too much, but Eren was... He did scare him badly even if he tried not to. He shivered a little, remembering the past interaction.

The two catch immediately the change of behavior— it was noticeable. The assistant was smiling just a second ago, and just by mentioning Eren, he changed. His expression changed drastically to a worried one. 

"It's something wrong?" Jean frowns, cautiously watching [Name]. The two toned haired male didn’t even try to joke— a change like that wasn’t normal by just a name.

Unconsciously, [Name] touches his neck, remembering his bruises. "Uhm..." He's upset— hearing him calling him whore. It did hurt him. But he blinks repeatedly, looking at the two patients looking at him in worry. The assistant harshly shakes his head, trying to smile. "It's nothing! I'm fine!!".

They looked at each other weirdly, but before they could ask for his well being again, [Name]  changed the topic quickly.

"Anyways! How do you know her?"

"She visits Eren," Jean half answers, seeing [Name] tense by the name again, and proceed, "and Armin a lot. Looks like a threesome."

"I will never do something like that with them.” Armin answers quickly, looking rather angry and insulted. 

Nevertheless, Jean catches something in his words and grins, “with them? Ohoho, so there’s somebody you rather have sex with?” 

The assistant’s cheeks turn red by the turn of topic, and tries to stop him, “Jean, please stop. That’s not nice topic at all.” He shakes his head in disappointment, Jean just grins.

Surprising enough, Armin didn't back off with the dirty question. He answered as if the answer was obvious, taking [Name] and Jean aback. "Of course— with the person I love the most."

"Is that so? And who is this "loved one" if it isn't Eren nor Mikasa?"

"Obviously it's [Name]."

...

...

...

WHAT?!

[Name]'s face had to be priceless because Jean was holding his laugh and amazement as best as he could, but being the asshole he is he laughed loudly. The assistant just blinked and blushed deeply, surprised by the answer he just heard. Covering his mouth, he had nothing to say at that.

"Really? The assistant?" Jean laughed, out of breath. He couldn't think of Armin and [Name] being together at all— what did the blondie saw in him anyways? 

Were his soft lips, gentle eyes, perfect skin that got him captivated?

Or maybe just thinking about his caring attitude that made Armin love him?

Just as Jean was thinking these unusual thoughts, his laughter stopped, and a soft crimson painted his cheeks. He looked the other way, rethinking his opinions on the assistant.

Well, Armin has some taste I guess...

"I-I'm... uhm..." [Name] didn't know what to say or think, but he could see Armin patiently waiting for his answer. "I'm... flattered, Armin. But a relationship as this can't be! It's-It's against the rules!" the [hair color] haired tried to reason without sounding harsh, worried about his feelings or how he was going to react.

Smiling, the blond didn't care at all of what he was saying, the only thing he was happy for is that he didn't say no. "That doesn't matter, [Name], love is stronger than the rules." Just remembering the books he read before taught him that love always preserves. Always.

While [Name] was thinking on how to fix the situation, thankfully, a bell could be heard, indicating the current task was finished. He sighed in relief, and he quickly tried to leave the place. "W-Well, that's my que to leave! I hope you finish your paintings. Have a great morning!" And with that, he left in a hurry.

Neither of the two remaining said or do anything. Armin was smiling with an unusual expression on his face, looking at the door where [Name] left.

Jean just kept quiet, thinking about his new opinions on the assistant. He felt like a school girl out of nowhere. Was he... rethinking his feelings for him? No way.

++++++++++++

Walking trough the halls, [Name] was glad that awkward moment was over. He wasn't good at all at rejecting people's feelings on him, so he dodging was the best thing he could do.

Vincent was with him, chatting quite excited. The guard had waited for him to guide him to the cafeteria, and [Name] was happy by just talking to him, forgetting his thoughts. Unfortunately, Vincent got a call from his radio, saying they needed him in the upper floor. He just winked at the assistant ready to leave, not before saying he had to be ready for his date. [Name] only blushed, embarrassed by it.

He walked alone again, gaze locked on the floor.

"[Name]." A stoic voice was heard, and the assistant looked in front of him, seeing Levi standing there with his hands on his bags, looking at him. He smiled, waving at the ravenette, approaching him excited. "Adorable." 

"Levi! Hello!" [Name] stood beside Levi, getting his hair behind his ear. "Where's Mike?"

Levi's eye twitched, getting unnoticed by [Name]. "Busy upstairs." He quickly said, walking without waiting for the assistant.

Quickly following him, Levi says they are going to the cafeteria. [Name] walks along with him, chatting and laughing with him.

The short man just listens, comfortable in [Name]'s presence.

+++++++++++

Levi, getting his food to the table, was surprised to see a red box [Name] took with him as well.

"Finally you made your food, brat." Levi said, giving a bite to his food, looking at the well made food the other had— it looked like a house wife did it. Rice, carrots... octopus-looking sausage? 

He blushed and smiled, shaking his head in denial. "I—I didn't make it! My neighbor gave it to me!"

Levi narrowed his eyes instantly, changing his mood to a bitter one, "gave it?" The thought of someone making him food made him highly suspicious— was that person interested in him? Well, that could be obvious. This looked like a school confession, making food for your crush. 

The thought only irritated him.

But why? Why did something that unimportant got him upset?

"Yeah! He's really nice." [Name] smiled brightly, crimson painting his cheeks.

The only sight of him smiling for someone else's cooking disgusted him.

Why?

Levi's appetite disappeared, the food didn't taste good no more, so he just sipped his tea, thinking about the assistant. He couldn't explain it, but something inside him wasn't happy at all with someone gifting him things freely, even more when this neighbor was just at his side.

"Ah! Excuse me," [Name] said when he heard the particular ringtone —that he added specially for Porco—, and answered it. He didn't know it, but his face lightened by just recognizing who it was. 

That, made Levi narrow his eyes suspiciously.

"Porco, hello!" [Name] smiled, "yeah, everything is okay! Stop worrying!" He laughs hearing the other answer and replies, "don't worry. Anyways, how's work? Did you send it in time?"

While the conversation occurred, Levi couldn't stop feeling... strange. He wasn't happy by seeing [Name] this excited by just a call —of who knows who—, he was irritated. Unconsciously he crossed his arms and frowned— a sudden thought of taking the phone and demanding answers was strong, but refrained to do so. 

Levi's thoughts were getting darker, and he ignored every sound around him. He looked at nothing in particular with a frown, not happy at all with where is thoughts were going.

Nevertheless, [Name] returned, the call being finished.

"Who was it?" Levi carefully inspected [Name] face to see any hint of emotion— and he certainly caught how happy the other was by his smile.

"It was my neighbor! He wanted to go out." He happily answered, taking bites of his food.

"Neighbor? The same as your age you mentioned the other day?" Levi could faintly remember him talking about it, but he thought it was a nobody. Seems that changed.

"Exactly! I haven't been able to talk to him much, so I'm glad he called me." 

"What was the call for?"

"Oh, we're meeting this friday! He has a busy schedule but made way for it."

Levi gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, tightly. He felt something burning inside him by hearing the other spoke about that 'neighbor'. A date? With someone he doesn't even know?

The ravenette tried his best to calm down, he breathed slowly, rubbing his temples. [Name] noticed he was tensed, and worried him, "Are you alright? You look... angry...?"

"I'm fine." He answered shortly.

The two ate in an awkward silence.

+++++++

Work was over for [Name]. He quickly went to the exit, ready to leave the building. But before he could open the door, someone called from him— turning, he saw Levi.

"I'm going to take you home today." He awkwardly said, with his usual frown. Even if he tried sounding soft, it always came rather harsh, but he hoped [Name] got the idea.

The assistant frowned, "Oh, I'm sorry, Levi. But I'm not going to my apartment right away."

"I can drop you off to wh—"

"[Name]! Ready to go?" A new voice was heard, and Levi turned to see Vincent, the semi-new guard they hired the other week. The ravenette grew suspicious of his words, and he raised an eyebrow, looking at [Name], who only smiled apologetic at him. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"

"I was just telling Levi I'm going with..." [Name] blushed, trying to say whatever he was trying to say without feeling embarrassed, "you on a date right now."

Levi's eye twitched in annoyance. Just— the fuck? How— how this guy could get a "date" with [Name]? AND before him? He bet this disgusting guy was even going to try and kiss him if he let him.

"Levi...?"

"Fine. See you tomorrow." The ravenette harshly spoke, leaving the building before anyone could say something else. If Levi was another minute there, he would get more irritated and angry, and he didn't want to scare [Name] off. 

But he had to make him understand one day.

+++++++++++

Vincent and [Name] were having a good time at the coffee shop— they were chatting and laughing together. The guard even brushed [Name]’s hand sometimes, making the smaller male blush a little and awkwardly chuckle. The taller male sometimes complimented him with the only purpose to see him blush and act adorable.

It was obvious Vincent was attracted to [Name].

It was clear for Levi, at least. 

He could see them all the way from his parked car, far away from the coffee shop, where the two love-bird were sitting, beside a window where the ravenette could watch them.

He was furious and jealous, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Gripping the wheel tightly, Levi clenched his teeth. A murderous gaze was plastered all over his face.

He couldn’t accept the fact that this disgusting man touching his beautiful love.

      Love? That’s how he feel towards him...? Love...? Was he lovesick? How? It was if... a love spell was sent to him. He wanted to touch the soft skin, smell his hair, have him on his arms, do whatever he wanted with him.

Levi wanted [Name] to be his completely.

He only had to clear his way and win this game.

Flower Curse | 4

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t h r e e ___

Your health wasn't an excuse to not doing your job. Erwin wanted you to rest until there was a solution— but you weren't going to obey him. You didn't want to slack off and be the center of attention, you just wanted to stay off radar by everyone. Especially, by your illness' cause:

Levi.

Just thinking of him made you sick and warm— yes, you liked him a lot, loved him, even. But the other part of you made you repulsed of him. You thought the cause of that repulsion was the curse you had, but sometimes, you just wanted to stop loving him. Just to stop the suffering.

But that was impossible, wasn't it? You just can't change your feeling for someone in an instant. The only thing you could do was hide your feelings in the darkest place, with your flowers' company. Hide them from prying eyes, away from everyone. Just your emotions, the flowers and you.

Was this illness really going to kill you? After all you have been through? You didn't want to believe this at all— flowers were more deadly than a stupid titan! Unbelievable. How could it be? Flowers filling your lungs just for unrequited love? You had a hard time believing this ridiculous "curse". But, sadly, this was as real as the titans.

But then... how come nobody knew about this illness? Was this another thing the King hide? How could this be real?

A knock on the door snapped out of your thoughts. “Come in.” You said, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

A blonde picked shyly, then came in and saluted. “Squad Leader [Name], the Corporal is asking for your presence on today's training.”

“Fuck.” You instantly thought. You didn't remember today's task: help Levi with training. Was your luck better than yesterday? Or life was just laughing at you? You passed your hand on your hair, letting out a sigh. “Thanks, Arlert. We should be going or the grumpy old man is going to beat my ass.”

Armin didn't laugh at your comment— the blonde just nodded and smiled. The relationship with the cadets and you weren't that bad in your opinion. You enjoyed talking with the little kid about the outside world— something that was very forbidden to do. Arlert even had a book of the outside that shared with you, by your big surprise.

The kid was very clever; maybe as clever as Erwin. Something unnerving— could this young kid see the same thing Erwin couldn't not see? Could he see your sickness? You noticed your face paled this morning. You wished to whoever to put a blindfold to everyone around you.

Leaving your office with Armin at your side, you jokingly asked, “How is training today? Is the Corporal harsher than before?”

“The Corporal is being a little... harsh, yes. But I don't see much difference as in other training,” he placed finger on his chin, looking thoughtful, “But he seemed a little irritated that you weren’t there.”

“Of course he is going to be like that. I forgot I had to help him training.” You nervously stated. “What's today's training for?”

“We are training with our Vertical Maneuvering Equipment.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” What was worse? Close combat or the damn VME? Both options sounded horrible, but using your gear at your current state made you nervous. When your system wanted to throw the flowers this morning, it didn't gave you any warning like before. You just couldn't contain the urge of throwing it all out. Would the sudden force of the gear make you vomit?

You hoped Levi didn't want you to do use your gear today. You always showed your cadets how to use the gear properly, and when Levi wanted to explain something, you helped him showing the cadets your abilities. This wasn't looking good.

The blonde noticed your silent demeanor, thing that made him confused. “Is something wrong?”

Snapping out of your dark thoughts, you smiled as brightly as you could and looked at him, “There's nothing wrong! I just was thinking about how angry is Levi going to be, you've seen how he gets at the simplest things.”

The cadet looked at you, unsure, before nodding slowly.

You were sure Armin resembled Erwin for a second.

“About time you arrived, lazy shit.” You instantly heard the man of your dreams, —or maybe nightmares— when you arrived with Arlert at the training grounds.

Trying to playing it off, you said, “Hey! I'm not that late, just... thirty minutes late, not that bad.”

“Anyways, somehow you came just in time.” The raven stated before looking at Connie and Eren, the newest recruits. You didn't like what was he going to say, you knew it. “These two can't go faster with their gear, and it seems hearing what i'm saying is too hard for them,” he said irritably, looking at the two nervous cadets, then looked at you with his usual frown, “and I expect you to show it.”

Damn it, damn it, damn it! If you refused, he would ask questions, and the answers would not satisfy him at all— you barely got out of the previous situation thanks for Erwin being there, but now he wasn't. Be an adult and resolve your problems.

This wouldn't be that bad, right? You just had to do some harsh movement. You previous thoughts were you being ridiculous; nothing will happen. Everything will be alright, no need to worry. Everything will be okay. Stop overreacting, nothing will happen.

Armin noticed your discomfort, and before he could said something, Levi looked at him and harshly ordered, “You are still here, Arlert? Go back in training.” The blonde got taken aback looking at his scared face, and ran off with a "yes sir!".

Trying to sound normal and collected, you replied, “Sure thing, what do I need to do?”

“Alright, listen closely you two,” you said, looking at Springer and Jaeger, “For this to work you have to work with your whole body, something that I noticed you don't do in your training today.”

“But I moved more than before and I still can't do it! It's impossible to go faster than that!” Connie exclaimed frustrated, “I don't even know how Jean is going faster than me!”

“That horseface actually go faster than me too, that stupid horse...” Eren mumbled. You just let out a laugh, and tried to act serious— Levi was watching you three from afar. Looking specially at you, though,

“Don't say 'I can't do it' because you certainly can,” you looked at Connie, “Listen, Springer. The Corporal is the fastest of us, you know why?” the cadet shacked his head, taking interest, “It's because of his height. He is very short- just like you. I even can say that you could match his speed at some point.” You tried to raise his spirit, thing that succeeded, by the looks of his joyful face.

Now, looking at Eren, you said, “Jaeger, you have to work with your movement. Just think when you are in air as you... are dancing.” By the looks of his expression, he really didn't fully understand your statement, because his confused frown. “Now, now, don't give me that look. It sounds ridiculous, but it does the job. Just imagine the people dancing at the festivals— they are in sync. You have to be in sync with you gear, just like a dance.” To make them fully understand you had to show them, something you wanted to avoid but it seemed impossible.

“Alright, let me show you. You have to see closely, understand?” They nodded, looking excited. Gulping, you looked ahead into the forest. Ignoring the voice in your head stopping you to do this, you prepared yourself and nailed your hook at the nearest tree, and then, you flied.

At first, it didn't feel that uncomfortable. Your mission here was to not be that harsh with your movements, but showing the speed to the cadets was the point of this, so avoiding any movement seemed impossible.

“Now I have to turn...” You reluctantly thought. Your grip tightened and in the second your hooks nailed in the trees, at first you prepared for the worst, but when nothing came you relaxed and even smiled. Even taking a look on the two cadets made you relaxed; they were in awe and the corporal just looked pleased.

“See? Nothing to be wo-”

And then, you felt it.

Your thoughts got interrupted thanks to the familiar sensation on your throat. The feeling made you alerted and disorientated, making you lose your grip on the blades and unhooking them off the tree. The falling wasn't that flawless, looking at how high you were.

You fell on some bushes, making your fall at least not that bad. When you hit the ground you instantly threw up white flowers, ignoring any pain you felt at the moment.

Full little flowers. At first sight, they were beautiful, but not for you anymore.

You practically forced yourself to stop vomiting, and held any flowers from coming out. Knowing the others will come to see if you were alright, at least you had to bear with all the pain until you could get out of there. Trying your best to cover the petals with the bushes, you tried to stand but failed to do so.

“Squad Leader [Name]! Are you alright?!” you heard both Connie and Eren calling for you, and less than a minute they were with you, helping you to stand. Gulping all petals who wanted to come out, you tried your best to just smile.

“Phew! That was a nasty fall. Sorry you had to see that, and i'm the example here, haha...” dusting off your clothes made wince in pain, thing you tried to hide by just laughing. The pair of cadets just kept talking and trying to not worry you that much. They both eventually stopped talking when a certain corporal appeared, with an expression you know very well— he was trying to know what happened, read the situation.

“Cadets, both of you will look for Petra and tell her she's on training duty.” Hearing his orders, both of them saluted and left. He looked at your poor act of getting it together, and asked angrily, “What the hell happened?”

Come on, [Name]! Keep it together!

“My hooks didn't sunk in the tree, simple as that.” Scratching your head, you proceed, “Actually, maybe the hand-grip isn't that-”

“Stop talking shit.”

You gulped. “Uh? What are you talking about? I said my hooks—”

“Quit lying to me.” Levi approached you, taking your arm roughly, making you gasp in pain. Actually, your senses awoken again— now fully feeling the pain in your arm, leg and ribs. “You know I hate lies. More if they come out of your mouth.”

You didn't say a word at all. You didn't dare to make the situation worse.

“Can you walk?”

Leaving his grip on your arm, you tried to take a few steps; you could walk, but you were limping with your right leg. And every time you took a step, a sharp pain was felt in your knee. Levi sighed in irritation, and helped you walk by taking your arm on his shoulder and placing his hand on your waist.

“What a pathetic attempt.”

The closeness made you sick, and the flowers wanted to be released.

“We'll go to the infirmary, then.”

Your ribs didn't break, thankfully. You just had some colorful bruises covering your right leg, left arm and waist. It wasn't that bad, not as bad as the flowers, at least.

After getting parched up, you both went to Levi's office, just to do some "relaxing" paperwork you both had to do. You always went to his office to make him company, something he didn't mind. You had to play it safe— if you avoided him, he would ask questions, and when he asks he wants real answers. Things you couldn't give.

Somehow, your little talk made you forget about all of the feelings and thoughts you were having. There was just the two of you, like it always has been. You forget about the flowers, and they seemed to forget about you just for a moment.

“You have something on your hair.” you heard the raven say, seeing his hand coming closer to you, taking off a leave. “And there's something on your face, too. Disgusting...” Even when he said that, his fingers touched your cheek, cleaning it off, before cleaning his own fingers with a napkin.

The event made you slightly blush —at least you hoped—, and thank him.

“A-Anyways, did Petra said anything about Eren and Connie?” you asked, remembering the little talk both of them had an hour ago, when you were in the infirmary getting check on.

“They did better,” he replied, writing on his papers. “They wanted to know badly how you were, though.”

“Aw! They care about me!” you exclaimed with a big smile. Even if you wanted to play it off, the feeling of the kids caring about you warmed your heart. “How adorable!” The feeling just made you blush.

Your words made the Corporal look at you with a questioning gaze. “What? Do you think they are the only ones caring about you?” Levi asked, stopping his work. “How disappointing.”

Laughing, you talked, “What am I hearing? Does Levi care about me more than the cadets?”

“What if I do?”

Your grip on the pen tightened; your heartbeat went crazy; your blush covering your cheeks went deeper, covering your ears. Words seemed disappear of your vocabulary— you didn't understand how some words could steal your breath like that. But it was because it's him. The one you like the most. Time seemed to stop.

It seemed that the sight of you made him smirk in pleasure. He come closer to your face, looking directly at your eyes. “I asked something. What If I care more than them?”

[Name]! Remain your composure! “W-Well, uhm...” clearing your throat, you proceed, “Then you care about me. That's... all...”

“Why you always forget?”

“Forget? Forget what?”

“About how I can't stand your lies.”

“Lies?! Ahem! What do you want me to say? It's nice that you care about me.” You stopped thinking about what you were saying, so you just let whatever thing came out of your mouth. Uh-oh. Good or bad thing? “I care about you too, anyways.”

He arched his eye brown,“Is that so?”, he slightly smiled, by your surprise. “More than the cadets do, I assume?”

“Of course. We've know each other since you came here, right? Actually, I think I'm the first one who didn't fall for your scary face, along with Hange.”

“Ah, how could I forget how irritating you were,” closing his eyes, he proceed, “even when I knocked you out, you kept being a childish little shit, always returning.”

“Hey! But you love this little shit, don't you?” Laughing, you returned to your work, uncaring of the answer.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

You froze. Levi wasn't the time of saying this like this to you; there were always harsh words in a playful nature. But nothing like this before. Nevertheless, him saying that made a smile on your face.

“I'm glad too.”

After that, a pleasant silence fell. The only sound the both of you heard was the pens writing on your papers and the sound outside. You didn't notice the sky turning dark, until an ocasional glance to the window made you exclaimed, “It's dinner time!”

The Corporal looked at the dinner and let out a hum, you only proceed to stand up from your seat and stretch. “Let's go, Levi. We forgot to do tea, so let's hurry up!”

“Go first, I will join soon.” He replied.

“Alright, then. Will make tea when I get there.” Nodding your head, you didn't bothered to bring you papers with him; it was normal for you to leave them arranged on a part of his desk. He always said "take your shit with you", but you always laughed it off. Strange, because this time, he didn't say anything. You left, but your thoughts made you slow your walk.

You noticed Levi was being more... open to you. Could that be a sign? Maybe? And now that you remember it, flowers weren't trying to get out of your throat. You even forgot about the illness, about the pain, about your future... You felt... nice, warm. Just like before the curse.

Could it be that... you had a future with him? The sudden thought made you blush and smile in embarrassment. Was he, maybe, in love with you? The conversation repeated on your head - and your mind kept re rolling the exact same phrase.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

“What if I care more than them?”

You stopped walking, and come to the realization that you actually wanted to make a move. Nothing could go wrong! The conversation of today made you believe that something could happen between the two of you! A bright smile made through your face thinking this— there was hope after all!

There was not time to waste, then! Your mind was made up— you were confessing right now. No one could interrupt you now; everyone had to be getting dinner, so the two of you couldn't be bothered. You nodded to yourself, and went back to Levi's office.

You couldn't believe it - this was all like a dream to you. You actually were going to have a future! You were going to be cured; everything was going to be alright from now on.

Noticing his door slightly opened, you scolded yourself for not paying attention to close it properly before leaving. Hey! That's not important right now! Shaking your head, you couldn't wait to open it and tell Levi your true feelings. Oh! You couldn't wait to tell Erwin and Hange about—

...

.

.

.

.

.

Ah. How could you forget? So foolish.

The sight in front of you made you petrify.

What was that you were feeling...? Surprise? Fear? Or was it... Heartbreak? How could you point the exact time your heart shattered, and the flowers bloomed once more in your heart? The realization fell like a ton of bricks. You never meant to be loved by him, it was for her. It never was for a person like you. Not you. Never, ever, for you. How could you forget? How? You were in denial.

The sudden realization made you snap out from your illusion.

NEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOU.

You are a fool.

You really thought he loved you?

What a pitiful sight.

Go and cry, there's no saving you.

Thoughts invaded your mind like a parasite — repeating themselves with not a chance to be stopped.

And what was the sight that made you so unstable? Well, maybe you know it already.

Two people were embracing each other, with the moonlight above them, looking beautiful as a couple. Who were this two, you ask?

Levi, and Petra, obviously.

The petals were awoken once more, and with such a bestial force you never felt before.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you couldn't stop some petals to escape and lay on the floor, by your ignorance. You just ran out of there, and went to the only place your unstable mind wanted you to be.

Erwin arranged his paperwork again for maybe, the sixth time this night. There were never ending letters to respond, check once more the strategies for the upcoming expedition, and more, more letters.

“Seems like a sleepless night, again.” He thought, rubbing his temples.

Little did he know his lack of sleep wouldn't be only the papers.

The sudden noise of someone opening his door made him annoyed— and before he could scold the responsible person, he stopped himself as he saw you kneeling on the floor, vomiting white petals— no, flowers.

Without thinking he went to your side and rubbed your back in a gently manner. He remained calm, but something his sight caught made him horrified.

White flowers were decorated in red.

Outside, he remained clam, but in the inside he was more than worried; if vomiting flowers was a bad sign, vomiting blood with them was far worse.

You eventually stopped; you only could gasp, trying to breath. Your nostrils were leaked water, your lips had blood and saliva, and the only comforting thing that made you sane was Erwin beside you.

“I'm going to die, Erwin,” you could only say, with desperation in your voice. “I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...”

Erwin tried his best to hush you, “That's not true. We are going to fix this, there's a solution...” and he continued and continued, trying to calm your sobs and pleas. Hearing you like this, so broken, desperate, made something inside him ache. He only embraced you, holding you. You only wanted someone close to you, someone to hold you.

He had to move things fast, and find a way to fix you before it was too late.

“Let's go, then!” a certain blushing girl said, smiling brightly. The raven only nodded with a soft gaze, walking beside her, until something on the floor took his attention.

“Flowers?” Levi thought, looking at the white petals on the floor. Kneeling, he took some and look at them quietly. Beautiful at first sight, hiding the true meaning they had.

“Aren't you coming, Corporal?” Petra said, turned at him.

Levi hummed, covering the little flower on his front pocket, and returned walking, “[Name] is waiting.”

Cyclamen. Cyclamens are symbolic of resignation. It’s the flower that means goodbye too.

Because it is poisonous, death is also attached to its meaning. It also presents the fact that good things come to an end and so it’s also the type of flower you might want to make use of at funerals – because it speaks of departure aside from moving away and retiring.

f i v e

Hey, your work its very good , i love your style of writing , so dont give up!! I send all of mi suport and ill be waiting for more !!!

thank you so much!! ive finally finished RMA chapter 9! hope you like it and thanks for the support!

REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / １２

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

powerless

１２

“G—Good morning, Erwin,” the assistant spoke in a gentle tone, gulping. He felt just like before— a trapped mice with no escape. He woke up this morning with nothing more but nervousness, fear and anxiety.

”Good morning,” the blond responded with no trouble, staring at him with his usual heavy gaze. As the poor assistant expected, bearing the dominant look wasn’t possible for him, as he preferred to look away in nervousness. Erwin narrowed his eyes by the evasion, but expected such by the same situation they were before, “I believe you know why I called you.”

The boy didn’t want to answer— he stayed late at night trying to figure out anything to take care of Reiner, but he barely protected Eren by whatever punishment he could have received that time. He couldn’t just leave them— It was against his morals, and he knew they didn’t really mean to hurt him like that. It was just... a mistake, something he had to take care of to do his job better. These things happened; it didn't have to be a big deal for him. But for whatever reason it was a huge deal to his coworkers every time something happened to him.

His thoughts were interrupted by Erwin’s voice calling his name, “I’m waiting for your answer,” it was clear he wasn’t happy either— there was no welcoming smile on his face, nothing that [Name] could feel comfort with. The same as before, unfortunately. [Name] knew Erwin wanted answers, something the assistant didn’t want to give. Both of them were visible tensed, one more visible than the other.

It’s not as if he could just lie. Erwin knew about everything beforehand anyway, and he believed telling a lie would be much worse than telling the truth. So, in a defeated, low voice, [name] answered. “...Yes.”

The reaction wasn't immediate. The blue-eyed man observed in such manner it made [name]'s body cringe. Whatever he wanted to find, it was enough to satisfy him. ”Good,” he leaned back on the chair, pleased by the assistant’s cooperation, “tell me what happened. Don’t lie this time, I would appreciate if you didn’t.”

Being under such harsh gaze didn’t make lying possible— it was as if Erwin was watching his every movement. [Name] couldn’t help himself and played with his hands nervously. He didn’t want to be under this interrogation again, but here he was. There had to be something else he could do to evade these situations, but none came to mind. He was stuck, and no miracle would help Reiner nor him out of this.

“Hmn,” [Name] began, playing with a part of his white coat. What could he say? ‘Well, Reiner choke me and almost kills a worker’? No way. “There... was a small problem going on yesterday...”

Blue eyes narrowed. ”Define small.”

[name] gulped. ”Uh... Mr. Braun lost control of himself, and... attacked me and another worker— but the situation was handled!” The assistant tried to finish such horrible statement with an awkward smile. That was the nicest way he could put it— it was the truth, really.

That only made the blond raise an eyebrow, amused by such answer. ”What did he do exactly?”

He cleared his throat. The blond really wanted to get detailed answers. ”He... uhm... strangled me and hit a guard...?” [Name] whispered as he tightened his grip on his coat, “but everything turned okay! So it’s fine!!” The assistant tried to show a careless smile, but the director obviously didn’t give in.

”No, it’s not,” Erwin firmly said, “show me the damage.”

That made [name] freeze. ”B—But—“

”Now.” Surprisingly, Erwin didn’t sound overly mad with the command, but his tone didn’t change it’s authority. [Name] couldn't do anything else but obey— what else could he do? Refuse? The assistant remembered how scary the man could be before. For some reason he seemed to hold back, but [name] know better than push his buttons. A scary Erwin was something [name] wanted to avoid, even now when Vincent told him many workers and patients began their 'irritation' period month.

The bruises quickly formed when he saw himself in the mirror this morning— they looked bad. His whole neck was covered in yellow, green and purple, and they did hurt when they were touched. He didn’t want anyone to see them, but he knew that was not possible. If they reacted they way they did back with the other incident, he didn't looked forward with these bruises. Even if he didn't want to accept it, he knew he was a bit scared about what was coming for his patients. 

With nothing else to say, he carefully pulled his turtle neck down, revealing the nasty bruises covering his neck. He timidly looked at Erwin, who eyes didn’t change. As blue eyes stared at the damage, [Name] tried his best to think about protecting his patient and not be afraid of the repercussions he was going to receive.

”M—Mr. Smith— I would like to ask you to not do anything to Reiner, please. He wasn’t in control of himself, and I’m sure he didn’t mean this to happen. I will—”

The blond quickly interrupted his useless statement. ”Rule #2: if a patient injures a worker, specially their doctor, they will get punishment as we see properly,” the blond spoke, “and as I can appreciate, his punishment is appropriate.”

[Name] shook his head as he spoke, not feeling well about how things were going. “B—But he can’t get punish because of things he can’t control! We are suppose to help them! Not harm them!”

It doesn’t seem Erwin likes what the assistant says, noticing his tensing shoulders and narrowed eyes as he hears such talk.

Erwin was infuriated. These guards were incapable of doing something so simple— so fucking simple. This punishment was something Erwin was going to see at first hand, but he couldn’t see any satisfaction coming out of it. Poor [Name] was already attacked— the damage was done and their incompetence was shown. Seeing that failure harming something as bright as his worker, only made him angry and irritated— this situation was annoying.

Something like that wasn’t going to happen ever again.

”[Name],” he spoke, standing up from his seat, towering him, “I care about your well being— I can’t just ignore what took place yesterday.”

”But—“

”I have not finished talking,” he states with authority, successfully shutting the assistant down with a mere look, “I can’t ignore it this time, nor I would ignore it in the future. This is a serious issue, and it will get resolved as they have always have.” It will. 

[name] pleaded. “But Reiner—“

He slowly approaches [Name], speaking in a firm tone. ”He will get punishment, even if you oppose against it.”

”Please, Erwin!”

Erwin closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. He couldn’t give in to the assistant’s sweet voice, even if he wanted to. He walked around him, as if he was playing. ”You do remember you have something to give me, hmn? After what happened with Jäger?”

”W–Well, but Reiner...”

The blond opens his eyes, trapping [Name] between his arms on the desk by the assistant's surprise. The action made the [hair color] haired flush— their proximity was so close he felt butterflies inside his stomach.

”You can’t just beg me to forgive everyone, [Name]. This is not how this place works,” If you payed me with something else I could reconsider it. “This is needed— it’s for your own protection and good, [Name]. We can’t let anybody doing whatever they want, not caring how many 'pleases' you give me.”

”...I don’t want him to get hurt for something he couldn’t control, Erwin...” [Name] knew this was defeat. Without meaning to, a pout formed on his lips as he fixed a depressive stare on the floor. 

”He knows very well what he does,” he smiled, softly taking a strand of [Name]’s hair, looking at the assistant with fake kindness, “he knows what happens when he does these things, [Name]. It’s not his first time.”

[name] looks at him with a tint of scarlet on his face, trying to put a brave expression. ”C—Can I know what kind of punishment that is?”

”Nothing out of the ordinary— just some kind of things not too harsh.” Why was he so... interested and caring? They were nobody— disgusting things nobody wanted. The doctors only worked here for the money, and no one gave a shit about them. Yes, maybe some 'doctors' came with the 'I can change this place' attitude at first, but they gave in, or just ended with an unlucky fate. But this assistant... was different. He could feel it— he acted as a nuisance, like the others initially were. His caring attitude irritated him: him talking about them with a bright smile was disgusting— just seeing this beautiful assistant preoccupied about those nuisances, was deplorable. 

With a last try, [name] stared at him with pleading eyes. ”Can I at least see it...?”

“Of course you can’t,” he let’s out an amused laugh, “I’m surprised by your dedication to your patients, [Name]. You surely are one of the few workers who try to protect them this much.” Why are you like this?

”It should be normal! I mean— they need help, that’s why I’m here for!” He frowns, “I just... can’t stand the idea of them getting hurt because of my incompetence...” 

”Punishment doesn’t happen because of you. It’s because of their actions, and they sure will know how to cooperate once you see them again. All of this is for your protection, [Name].”

”But I don’t need protection!” Erwin’s amused expression along with his slight touch on his bruises shuts him down, “t—this was just out of my possibilities! There won’t be a next time!!” In all honesty, those marks were embarrassing. They were proof of his horrible work at handling the situation, and he promised to himself that next time was going to flow better— he just needed to see them at first hand to understand the motives of the outbursts. That's what his work was anyway— why were they so... uninterested?

The blond smiled. ”Of course there won’t be. I won’t allow that,” he caressed [name]'s face as if he was a small dog looking for attention. The assistant's eyes semi closed, tensing under the touch. His face redden, and Erwin couldn't resist laughing by such view. He looked adorable. "You sure are something else, [name]. You can go now, thanks for your cooperation,"

As he gets free from the other's touch, [name] shakily whispers a thank you and a see you later before walking away sheepishly. Being touched like that by one of your bosses was something embarrassing— he felt like a dog! Even if he liked being praised by Erwin, he had to be careful to not confuse his real motivations. Liking your boss was unfortunate— [name] believed he was an impossible man, after all. Also, he was... intimidating when he wanted.

”Oh, and about your payment,” he speaks with a kinder smile, making [name] turn at him with a flushed face, “you haven’t forgotten, have you?”

[Name] can only shake his head, too ashamed to talk. Being under the blond's touch was something else— the assistant felt warm and nice, two dangerous things to feel inside this office and for your boss. He didn't feel in control of anything; he almost looked like a small cat being protected and toss around by everybody.

”Good,” he steps back with a smile, “what does a cup of coffee sounds?”

”...Uh?” [Name] blinks, looking at his boss, dumbfounded by the question.

”I know a nice place. Sometimes our workers go there in their free time— nice coffee, too,” he returns to his seat, a pleased expression on his face, “well, it’s not as if you can refuse the offer, hmn?” He spoke with playfulness— like a child who got what he wanted in the end. This opportunity was something he was waiting for, after all; to know more about his favorite worker; to get closer and establish a nice, warm, solid relationship between them. Small steps; [name] was a small kitten he needed to handle to make him understand.

”I—I guess not...” [Name] didn’t expect such offer— well, he didn’t imagine something else. At least he thanked his boss wasn’t a perverted man who took advantage of his workers— [Name] wouldn’t have bear the sight of Erwin being that corrupted. Sighing, he showed a small smile, less stressed than before, “that sounds nice,” Imagining a date with your boss was embarrassing— even more when he was the one in charge of the whole building. [name] didn't know what to expect from this whole ordeal; how should he act? what should he eat? Being around Erwin was embarrassing enough, so being that close to him as a date meant more stress to his poor mental health.

”Fine, then. How does tomorrow sounds?”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

When he went inside his office, he didn’t expect to see Zeke sitting there with a serene yet irritated look on his face. It seemed he was waiting for him, as he wasn’t particularly doing anything but stare at the door in utter silence. [name] wished he wasn't there yet, but he remembered today wasn’t his lucky day at all.

His stare relaxes a little as he sees his precious assistant coming inside. Leaning back on his chair, Zeke speaks with his usual tone, but something is clearly different. “Good morning, [Name].”

The assistant didn’t waste another minute in answering. ”G—Good morning!”

The doctor waits a moment before speaking again, observing [name] every move. ”I tried to look for you yesterday, but it seemed you... left early.”

Again, another interrogation... ”...I did, yes.”

Zeke narrowed his eyes. ”Any explanation as to why? Usually you don’t leave before saying your cutes good byes.”

[Name] doesn’t speak at first. Scratching his hand, he didn't know what to say exactly— he didn't want to talk about the situation, but he knew everybody would make him talk. He didn't like that at all, so he stayed in silence as he stared at the floor with a frown. He had enough of this with Erwin— speaking everything that happens to him is not pleasing, and even if he’s thankful by their worries he doesn’t really need them! ...not that much.

”Anyway— I know what happened yesterday. Actually, I think we all did,” he gets up, approaching [name], “show me.”

[Name] shakes his head. He doesn’t want to— he knew everyone will make their way to see the bruises, but the assistant doesn’t like the idea. Why does everyone wants to see his failures? It only made him feel annoyance and disappointment in himself.

”[Name],” Zeke says his name as if he was speaking to a child.

The assistant complies in the end— he knows better than pushing Zeke's buttons. Pulling his collar down in silence, he looks at the ground to not see what kind of look Zeke has. Good thing— it’s not that the blond is showing an angry expression, but his eyes turn cold as he examines the horrible marks on his assistant.

Merciless and barbaric are the only ways Zeke can think of Reiner’s actions. He already knows [Name] didn’t get his way on Erwin to forgive the warrior— it’s painfully obvious. It could be almost two weeks until they fade away, possibly three. 

At least he is somehow thankful [Name] is still here with him, and didn’t had the same fate others workers had. Who knows what would have happened.

"No matter how many times I tell you, you can't stay out of trouble," he speaks in annoyance, "I can't leave you alone at all, it seems,"

"This was just an accident, sir! Reiner wasn't in control of himself!"

"Of course he wasn't, and he'll never be," he pinches the bridge of his nose, "accident? he knew very well what he was doing— how can you be this blind? Or do you perhaps fake ignorance for some strange reason?"

"I'm not faking anything!" he accidentally raises his voice, clearly upset by how his boss was talking about their patient, "I care about him like I do with others! ...Why—Why does this have to be a big deal when I get hurt...?"

"Why? Because you are my assistant, [name]. And I won't allow someone like them hurting someone like you."

"...Like them? T-They are human just like me, sir," [name] spoke with a firm tone, "They need our help, and if I get hurt in the process of helping them, then it shouldn't be a big of a deal every time I do...!"

"You really don't get it, do you?" the blond was irritated. Annoyed, upset, angered— his assistant clearly was someone much different than anyone in this disgusting place, wasn't he? Caring? Help? This place was filled by corruptness and vileness— there was no real help here; there never was, "you won't change anything about them. They will remain the same, we are just here to help them stay out of the trouble they cause in the world, [name]. Simple as that,"

It felt as if [name]'s hopes and dreams were shattered once for all. Hearing those horrible words coming out of his' boss mouth was awful and upsetting. [name] did believe in change; why nobody could see that? This place was like a Limbo to the patients; never going out? Taking their freedom forever? Yes, they caused horrible things, but [name] believed in change. He was here to help. "...I can help... I know I can,"

Stubborn as always. If he didn't like him that much, Zeke would have already throw him into the upper floors for his flesh to be teared away into pieces. But no, that wasn't allowed to happen— his assistant had to be with him at all costs, even if he was this obstinate. In fact, Zeke believed in change too. "You sure are a magnet of trouble— do you think being just a beginner, without any acknowledge, can change anything? This place is not a playground. And, if you don't remember, you were hired to be my assistant, not an independent doctor doing whatever he wants. So you go by my orders, even if you like them or not. So, if I order you something, you will do what I say. Understood?"

[name] tightly gripped his hands, embarrassed and ashamed. It was obvious he didn't like being scolded nor have conflict with his superiors; but no matter what, it seemed he always caused trouble for his boss.

"I said, understood?"

"...Yes, sir..." he answered with a sad tone, staring at the floor with a frown.

Gritting his teeth, the doctor didn't like one a bit how this was going. But this punch of reality was needed, even if it hurt his poor, little assistant's feelings. He had to see it was pointless— they were a waste of their time, and nobody could change who they really were. Sighing, the blond caressed a strand of [name]'s hair, "do you think I like scolding you? You are a capable adult— why do I need to be in your toes every time I leave you alone? You should know better than this— they are not children."

Hearing Zeke made [name] so ashamed— he felt as if he was a child again. "I—I didn't mean this to happen... I just wanted to help, sir..." He bit his lower lip, feeling horrible about the whole thing. He didn't feel comfort with Zeke's touch, knowing very well how he truly thought.

"You have to do as I say, kätzchen," he sighs, "I can't follow you everywhere to clean your mess— you are getting me in trouble with Erwin. You don't want that, do you?"

"O—Of course not, Zeke! That's not what I intent by any means!"

"Doesn't look like it, boy," Zeke sighs, leaving [name]'s hair to pass a hand trough his face, "alright— now that this is out of the way, I must tell you Reiner will face consequences, even if you don't want to. I guess Erwin spoke to you?"

[name] nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Very well. That will be all in the matter, then—"

”W-Wait! I just wish to know if he’s alright? I hit him really hard...” [Name] was horribly worried about Reiner. If that hit knocked him out, then it was obviously an injury, “I—I didn’t mean to hurt him like that! Really!”

Zeke lets out a snort. “You think a simple chair would kill that beast? Haven’t you imagined the things he has gone trough?”

”H—He’s not a beast! He’s a person!” [Name] frowned, staring at Zeke with a glint of sadness and desperation in his eyes. No matter what other people said about them, he would always think different about his patients, “you shouldn’t talk about them like that, sir— they feel just like us,”

Zeke sighs. “No matter how many times I tell you, you won’t understand. It seems you need to see something going horribly to trust me they have no future,” narrowing his eyes, the man sighed deeply in exasperation.

”They do have one! We just have to guide them, sir! But I can handle all of that,” [Name] shows a toothy smile, “that’s why I’m here!!”

This talk had made [name] open his eyes with who he worked with. It seemed not only Zeke, but others thought like him— he couldn't deny the eyes of his coworkers when he talked about his patients; the pity stares thrown at him. And then, there was Hanji's comments said back then; about them being 'her experiments'. Remembering these small things, made [name] realize he was the only one trying to solve something unsolvable.

It seemed this place wasn't what he imagined.

"What's with that face, kätzchen?"

[Name] didn't know if playing dumb was a good thing. "Uh— nothing! Just remembered I didn't bring my lunch again..."

Zeke narrowed his eyes at his assistant, clearly unsure about his explanation. [name]'s lips pressed in a thin line, trying to not see him in the eyes.

In the end, the doctor scratched his ear with a boring look.

"...What a clumsy assistant I have."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"As always, I'm behind the glass observing everything. Whatever may happen the guards are outside," Zeke explained once more, giving a dark look at the familiar guard outside the room— Vincent, who tried to suppress a smirk by the usual stares he got lately.

"Okay! No need to worry, everything will be fine!" [name] smiled proudly and nodded at Vincent as he received a wink in return, before entering the room. The last thing he heard behind him was a 'sure thing' from Zeke.

“Hello, Connie!” [name]'s cheerful voice echoed trough the room, making him cringe a little by the dead silence the room was filled in.

”I heard what happened,” said Connie, with what seemed a mocky smile plastered on his face. He looked like a child who knew your dirty secret and was ready to blackmail.

[Name] blinks, before sitting down. ”You did?” It seemed not only workers gossiped, but patients did too. News sure fly fast here.

”Eren and now Reiner? It’s surprising how you are still alive,” the patient rest the side of his face on his palm, looking at the assistant with a smirk, "maybe you are cursed,"

”That’s... comforting,” [name] knew those encounters were dangerous. He didn't want to believe it at first, but seeing how things worked here... it sure was something that made him unable to sleep at night. Quite terrifying. It felt as if you saw your friendly neighbor in the news because he was a serial killer for three years. He shivered.

”I thought he would break you like a twig! I don’t want to say that I'm amazed, because you haven’t seen anything yet.”

[Name] was curious about the experiences inside the asylum— realizing he didn’t know almost anything about where he was working, maybe some small questions drifting out of the main topic wouldn’t be that bad.

”Could you explain how it can get worse, Connie?”

”Much worse, obviously. Hadn’t they said anything to you?” He laughs, “useless much?”

“...Haven’t heard a single thing. Would you mind?” [Name] tits his head, showing a small smile. He knew Zeke would be commenting something about this question later.

The boy gets quiet, not interested in the topic anymore. "Nope, since it doesn't have to do anything with me," he chuckles, "let's talk about something better— me!"

...I wish to hear about what he had to say about it. But since Zeke is hearing everything, it seems I can’t do much about it. “I agree— today is for the two of us, as planned,” the assistant smiles slightly, “how are we feeling today? Has something happened lately?”

”I’m doing as great as always,” he shows a toothy smile, “the other day I won an uno game! Jean was a dumbass that couldn’t beat me— such a bad loser!” 

Connie’s laugh resonates the room. “Uhu hu— experienced uno player? That sounds dangerous! I would love to play with all of you some time. I’m sure you have fun games,”

Connie shrugs, “Meh— there’s always bad losers. One time Reiner threw a chair at Armin and he got a concussion because of it,” he grins as he remembers, “but— ohoho! Eren didn’t let him go! Reiner got the beating of his life, doc! Reiner is even scared of Eren since then! Can you believe such big guy scared of that crazy emo dude? Incredible, if you ask me!”

...Beating? “That doesn’t sound good— but please, Connie, none of you are crazy so don’t use such words to describe others. Don’t perceive others the way you don’t want to be perceived, okay?”

”Blah, Blah, don’t care. They don’t matter to me anyways— not worth the time,” he rolls his eyes, clearly displeased by the assistant’s words.

“Since they are not worth the time I give them, you are not, either?”

”...Ah? What are you saying?” Connie’s eyes narrowed, clearly unhappy about whatever nonsense [Name] was saying. 

”We all are equal, so we should get the same respect— that’s the most important thing as humans, don’t you think?”

”It seems you haven’t gotten something clear, doctor,” Connie rest his back on the chair, staring at [Name] with a blank, yet uncomfortable stare, “the thing is, we are not human anymore. We lost that right a long time ago.”

[Name] frowns. “That’s not true— you are human. You feel just like anybody; you think, you act, you live, don’t you? So, if someday told you were not human anymore that is a horrible lie.”

“Seems you are not aware. That’s surprising,” he yawns, his expression clearing, “I must say you are interesting. Even when you know everything I can do, you behave like a hero! But surprise, there were plenty before you! So don’t feel special.”

”That’s not what I intent.”

”—Anyways! The other day I played pocker with the others. Guess who won? Of course—”

”—Armin?”

Connie blinks dumbfounded, clearly irritated by the interruption. Nevertheless, he quickly answers with a glare. ”...?! Of course fucking not! It was me!”

For a couple of seconds, Connie resembled a child— a kid who pouted when things didn’t go his way. But [Name] saw trough that, and those furious eyes resembled a beast rumbling in the shadows, scared of being caught. [name] knew winning was a facade— he didn't win the games.

"Armin is a nobody— he doesn't matter at all. He doesn't even do anything! Useless as always," he looks irritated, "I don't know how Eren can even be in the same room with that good for nothing..."

[Name] blinks in a frown, displeased by the rude statement. Hearing such degradation of someone was not a good thing to hear, and [name] never felt comfortable hearing gossip back then. Unfortunately, he had to act professionally and not get controlled by his emotions. This place was different than in high school.

"...Perhaps you see yourself the way you see others," [name] whispered more to himself than for Connie, writing down on his clipboard. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed by the patient. Who frowned and narrowed his eyes at the assistant.

"As if! What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"Just thinking loudly, Mr. Springer. Maybe change will come when you acknowledge who you are, and accept that mistakes happen..." he hums, "just like you didn't win the game— that's alright, you know? Sometimes—"

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up!" the patient slammed his hands on the table, standing up with a furious expression plastered on his face. He gritted his teeth as he glared at the assistant like an animal; clearly, he was furious, "I didn't lose that stupid game! What the hell are you talking about!"

”Perhaps we should play a game to test your high skill, don't you think?" [name] tilted his head, liking his own idea. He surely had a plan for the game he was interested to evaluate.

Hearing this, Connie crossed his arm as he rested on the back of the chair. Narrowing his eyes, the patient tapped his forearm with his index finger, trying to observe any anomaly the assistant could have. It seemed games were one of his interests, as his furious demeanor disappeared quickly. "Why so sudden?"

"Well... sometimes is nice to play with someone with experience, don't you think? I love uno, so I don't see the problem,"

The patient considered the idea. To [Name], it didn’t seem done by any harm— the card game could be an experience to know more about Connie before doing anything. After a cold, heavy stare, Connie answered with a careless, mocking tone. "...Alright. Prepare to lose, you stupid fuck."

[name] chuckled, amused. "That's nice. But first, I have to ask permission to my superiors to play. Then, our next session will focus on some games."

"Blah, blah. Hey!" Connie suddenly turned his head at the glass, surprising [name] by the outburst. "you sick useless piece of shit! You WILL approve this game, if not, you are a FUCKER!"

That's totally not helping, Connie... Well, now the permission was going to be harder to get. "Maybe if we ask in another way we can get the green light."

"They don't deserve to be talked another way, doc. You reeaaaally are a dumb idiot to believe in these fuckers," Connie grinned at [name]'s stupidity. He lift up the middle finger at Zeke, who [name] could feel the stare he must have been giving, "well, looks like you are just a clueless rat... that's just funnier,"

At first, [Name] could have believed his word because of the thought of Connie despising the treatment— something somehow normal. An usual reason to shit talk your doctors… nevertheless, this time was different. Zeke’s talk made him realize doctor weren’t benevolent— weren’t understanding. [Name] didn’t know if all of them where like this; but even Erwin didn’t have compassion for anybody.

Knowing he was being monitored just as Connie, [Name] didn’t say a thing about the manner. It wasn’t as if he could gossip with his patients, anyway.

The next talks weren’t as much of impactful— just the usual “how do you feel?”, “what activities help you?”, “how is the medicine helping you?” Of course, Connie did little to nothing to answer them, but the last question. He only stated they made him sleepier than usual, even causing him some pain in his hands. [Name] noted this with bolder letters, not trying to forget to change them if possible. First, an examination and diagnosis would be needed on his part if authorized. Then, an investigation about what could pill would be better for him without damaging his health would be enough. If everything went the way he wanted, anyways.

"Looks like it's your time to be the dog," Connie said as he heard a bell ringing, "surprisingly you weren't such an boring shit like last time."

"I appreciate your compliments, Mr. Springer,"

"I will applaud you if you get here next time— who knows who else wants to know you."

Before [name] could reply, a tapping on the other side of the glass made him say his goodbyes and leave.

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Interesting session you just had," was the first thing Zeke could let out after witnessing such session. It was only time [name] wanted to do "schooling" to them. Idiotic. As he walked trough the hall with the guards behind, he snorted by how ridiculous this assistant was.

"Mr. Zeke, please forgive Connie! He just talks without thinking, so please understand him!" [name] tried to reason, embarrassed by the behavior as tried to keep up with his boss.

Zeke exhaled from his nose, perhaps irritated by the Mister, or the excuses his assistant was giving. "Connie, loves to denigrate others. Understanding is not a choice," there was a twitch on his eye, "and good luck asking me for permission for your little experiment,"

"Sir..." [name]'s face instantly saddened, not expecting such harsh act. "It's to know Connie better! Please, your permission is important to help him!”

"I have told you before. You won't change a thing, even if you do more than a hundred experiments,"

"I won't think negatively— it's their future. How can they be better if I don’t even have hope with what I do? It’s unbelievable!” [Name] shook his head, “this is not what I signed for… this is inhumane!”

“Perhaps it’s time to accept the real world, kätzchen,” he scratched his ear, “going around playing hero is not a good idea,”

[Name] could not feel exasperation at such thing— he was disappointed. “I’m not playing hero! I’m just trying to do my job, which is suppose to help others… Just, please, Mister! Give me the permission and you will see I can help them!”

Zeke only stopped his walking to stare at him with a clouded look. As if he was examining— observing. There was silence, the only source of sound being the chatter of others doctors in the hall. [Name]’s body felt heavy; his hands turned into fists by the anxiety and slight fear his mind and body fell in. A simple stare leaving him unable to breathe— he didn’t want to know how his bad side could look like. How did these men shut him off with a simple look?

Then, the blond turned to normal in a blink. Humming, Zeke rearranged his glasses carelessly, answering with a bored tone. “I’ll allow it,” before [Name] could celebrate his green light, Zeke interrupted him with his hand, “but with one small condition,”

[name] blinked dumbfounded. “…yes?”

”When you met Erwin, I want you to say something to him,” [name] couldn't see his eyes clearly— the lights of the hall reflecting on his glasses prevented him from doing so.

”…okay—! I’m listening!”

”You will say, straight to the eye, without stutter…” There was a smirk, missing it could have been easy if he wasn't paying close attention.

”Hmn?”

  ”Fuck off.”

.

.

.

”Ok—?! WHAT?!” [Name] stared horrified, “I can’t do that! Absolutely not! You will kill me!”

”You will do that, no objections. Also, I will know if you don’t do it. I assure you,” There seemed to be a ghost of a cruel smile on his face.

”I can’t do that, Zeke! That’s atrocious! Can’t I do something else!?” [name] could feel his whole body tense by just imagining doing such atrocious and embarrassing thing. Was he back to school without knowing? Who even where these people?

The doctor couldn't stop his chuckle, amused by the situation. If his dear assistant was going to be asking for permission, the he had the perfect excuse to make him do the things he wanted. After all, if such patients were so dear to him, then making him do stupid things as this was making him understand how much was worth wasting his time in such persons. ”Not this time. Perhaps I will think of something else next time,”

”Next time?! I don’t want to think about next time…” [name] facepalmed, already feeling sick. This... was not good. At all. He was only asking for something so simple as playing cards— why was Zeke making him a fool of himself in front of Erwin? With what purpose? He was only going to dig his own grave if this was current occurrence. "I don't understand, why would you make me do something like that?"

"Why not? This place needs fun every once in a while,"

"By making me the fool? That's not fair," [name] wasn't any pleased by being the one ruining his chances here.

"Perhaps I can be more forgiving next time," he didn't look at him, "sorry, kätzchen. This one is a selfish one of mine,"

"Not fair..." [name] could only frown at the ground, feeling betrayed and humiliated already. This wasn't funny for him at all— being used for such things was low. Just because he wanted to treat his patients like human beings? Uncalled for!

"This place isn't," the blond put his hands in his pockets, "but don't look too sad, [name]. Remember you are doing this for your patients— isn't that worth it?"

Those words only made him see trough Zeke's real intentions— of why he was being used as a joke tool. To use him to do such stupid, unfunny thing. Just because he wanted to play nice. [name] didn't want to hate— it was too much. But this... was unfair. Why was he being such a cruel person? If this was the easy 'condition', [name] wasn't ready of what was coming next. The thought made him frown in disgust.

[name] wants to reply, but then a mixture of whimper and yell is heard, along with meaningless shouting. The assistant looks back only to see an horrifying scene— a patient stabbing a doctor countless of times without any mercy. There's a fierce expression on his face— anger. And was he... smiling? 

[Name]'s whole body froze in shock by the sight. Crimson dirtying the white walls and ground of the hall, dirtying the people around— there are many shouts, cries and gasps. But [name] can only stand there, tensed as a rock, with terrified eyes opened like plates staring at the uncontrollable patient stabbing over and over who seemed to be a doctor. He couldn't even see where was he even stabbed— blood covered almost all of his body.

There was laughter— patients were around.

Guards who were already around ran to the patient, but it seemed he wasn't done doing a scene. Finishing his last act, he looked at everyone like an animal, until finishing his contest with [name]. The assistant flinched by meeting such... vile, dark stare. They were void of life, yet he could assure the man was living the best time of his life. Pupils dilated, a toothy grin, shaking body... what was making him alive was the adrenaline.

Then, he trow something— what he had on his hand. [Name] could only stare in horror.

W—What did he...?

"Look out!" Without doubt or thoughts in his mind, Vincent wrapped his arms around [name] and forced both of them on the ground, missing the flying knife just in time. The object graved on the wall with a loud and sharp sound, luckily not injuring anybody with how quickly and hard  was thrown.

[name]'s heart beats fast while he tightly closed his eyes, frightened. He gripped Vincent's clothes tightly, not sure if moving was a right choice. This time, the poor assistant doesn't know what to do; what to think. He leaves to Vincent that task.

Another guard immediately took the patient by the wrists and pinned him down, receiving yells and a fight from him. The unknown patient trashed around, trying to get free from the hold, thankfully not succeeding.

"How in THE FUCK does a patient got a knife?!" the blond furiously exclaimed, "first of all— who does this thing belongs to?"

Ignoring Zeke's yells, Vincent sat, guiding [name] to do so. The frightened assistant opened his eyes, shifting his stare to the wall where the knife resided. Then, to the doctor who was stabbed, laying on the floor. [name] could only hear his whimpers and grunts. There was so much blood... he felt sick on his stomach, almost wanting to gag. 

If it wasn't for Vincent, he too would be on the floor, agonizing.

"You okay?" Vincent softly asked, grabbing [name]'s face with his hands, looking worried. [Name] just nodded, out of it. The guard tried to avert [Name]’s attention from the horrible scene— there was a lot of blood on the floor surrounding the doctor. Vincent could feel the assistant’s terror, and as best as he could he tried to calm him down with a softer voice, “that’s nice— okay? Let’s get up— can you stand?”

As [Name] tried to, the terror he felt made him frozen in fear. He couldn’t move properly— his hands and legs were shaking horribly. Vincent, seeing his bad state, helped him stand by wrapping an arm around him tightly. "Breathe. Like this," the guard made an example, making [name] to look at him,"let's do it together, okay? One, two...."

The assistant tried to do his best, shakily exhaling and inhaling. He wasn't doing a good job, but Vincent seemed satisfied with it. "Good, [name], very good. Don't stop, ok? Let’s go to the infirmary to check on you,” he talked with such smile it made [name] calm a little bit. It was reassuring and Vincent felt so... safe. [name] couldn't stop himself and grabbed part of Vincent's uniform, closing the gap between them. He smelled like coffee, somehow working for [name] to escape the stench of blood filling the hall.

"[name]!" Zeke came into the picture, looking... irritated? "how are you? Let's go to the infirmary to properly check on you,"

Vincent didn't mean to, but moved [name] a little bit behind him, away from Zeke. “I can get him there, doctor.”

“Didn’t ask you to. Do you know first auxiliary? Are you a doctor? A nurse? I think not.” He glared, “I will get [Name], so if you may—“

[name] interrupted with a low, shaky voice, barely audible. “I–I think... I prefer V-Vincent getting me there, M—Mr. Jäger...”

“What?” Zeke narrowed his eyes, not liking this at all.

“He—He—“ [Name] tried to speak, “his company will help m–me a–a lot, right now...” he held Vincent’s clothes tightly, clearly not wanting to let go.

Zeke clenched his jaw, his unsatisfaction clearly showing. His assistant, his precious assistant, preferred being at the dirty hands of this man? Why? 

[Name] did notice the terrifying glare Zeke was giving, because he tried to hide like a child from his mother’s lectures behind Vincent’s back. The guard could feel the tension and the murderous aura the blond doctor showed, and the best thing to do, was leaving.

“Well then, Dr. [Last Name] and I will leave to the infirmary. Thanks for your preoccupation, but I will notify you of Dr. [Last Name] state until we finish.” Vincent carefully choose his words and spoke in a serious tone, not giving in under Zeke’s murderous glare. The guard knew this sudden change wasn’t just for disobeying orders— the doctor made it clear he disliked discipline, but there was a feeling on Vincent’s guts that said this was much more different.

Even when they were already leaving, Vincent could feel the glare on his back. It was until they were out of sight he sighed in relief.

“S–Sorry for getting you into trouble...” [name] didn't look at him, but at the floor.

“Everything for you, darling.” He kissed his forehead, showing his childish grin.

Back at the hall, Zeke could only watch in disgust as that guard left with what was his assistant. Dark thoughts filled his mind, not stopping any of it. Hatred is what he feels for that man— disgust is another. How and when did [name] got close to him? And under his nose...? Hmn.

Useless things need to be disposed.

"SAWNEY!" A familiar female voice shouted, followed with a shaky one. Zeke could not get more annoyed now realizing who this thing belonged to.

"W-Wait, Dr. Hanji!" Hanji's assistant, Moblit, quickly followed her behind. His expression of horror formed at the sight of what happened.

"Oh my! What did you do, my Sawney...?" Hanji spoke with a fake, sad voice. Kneeling beside him, she tried to approach him but the guards, as they looked at her in disgust, prevented her touch. "Let me hold my baby! He didn't mean to!"

The blond doctor stared at such display in annoyance— a normal occurrence with this crazy idiot when her things went out of control.

He needed a cigarette. 

But, as he was leaving, an authoritarian, harsh voice silence the hall instantly. A simple command that made all but him shiver and close their mouths like children who know what they did wrong. Zeke was amused, but not surprised by the sudden appearance of Erwin— after all, he was always observing.

He almost pity Hanji for what was coming for her. Almost.

Before leaving, a quick look at Erwin's passive aggressive expression was enough to almost make him snort, if he wasn't aware of his own set of feelings overcoming his mind.

  "Hanji Zoë. In my office right now."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Okay! It seems everything's in order!" Vincent showed a small smile, putting away a semi-wet napkin already dirtied in red. Cleaning away some blood that got on [name]'s face was nicely done, but unfortunately, some of it got on his coat. He hoped [name] didn't notice, but he knew the assistant was aware, "how are you feeling?"

Taking his time, [name] wasn't sure of what to say. Witnessing an attack like that wasn't everyday occurrence for him— something simple as yelling from his patients shook him enough, but watching with his own eyes how someone was deprived of life like that... it marked him. Just remembering how disgusting the place smelled, the amount of blood approaching his feet was enough to make him hastily grab the small trash can besides him and vomit. He felt Vincent's hand pat his back in an attempt of comfort, and he was thankful. 

Vincent hurriedly took a cup of water and gave it to him when [name] finished. The assistant couldn't met his gaze because of his embarrassment, but took it nevertheless. After washing his mouth the best he could, he tried to not see the mess he did to whoever that trash can belonged to. Feeling Vincent's hands on his shoulders, gently caressing him, made him feel a bit better about the whole thing tough— at least he wasn't alone.

"...Thank you," [name] said with a gruffly voice, sighing tiredly.

Nightmares were guaranteed tonight.

"It's nothing," Vincent let out a huff, "you have the right to get it all out, okay? Witnessing such thing is hard, so don't be hard on yourself,"

[name] knew, but he couldn't stop himself from asking such absurd question. "Is he...?"

Looked like Vincent didn't want to answer that question— his lips pressed in a thin line, a frown forming on his face. "...Most likely. That was... a lot," even if he had to see outburst in a daily basis, that didn't mean death was present in all of them. Seeing someone taking the life out of someone else in such rage... it always made Vincent afraid, "hopefully you don't have to... witness something like that again. To think a patient had a knife... I have no clue on how did he got his hands on that,"

[name] didn't either. Weren't they watched everyday at every hour? He didn't feel that safe anymore— perhaps paranoia would be a long companion in the next few weeks.

"What you did... thank you," [name] squeezed the guard's hand, his shoulders touching. [name] was a person who needed touch when he was in a bad state mentally— just the act of holding hands and staying at each other side was enough to calm him down. He liked Vincent, his presence did help him stay his cool, and he didn't say rude things about his wrong doings. "If it weren't for you I... m-maybe—!"

"Hey, hey," he hold his hand, caressing it with his thumb, "I was there to protect you, wasn't I? Didn't I promised you? I know you are scared, but remember I'm always looking out for you. Nothing will ever happen to you while I'm here, alright? It's valid to be unsure and afraid, but be sure I will be there."

Hearing such words, [name] let out a big sigh he didn't realize he was holding. It was reassuring hearing him promise something like that in a place like this— it made him feel... safe. Unconsciously, [name] rested his head on Vincent's shoulder. Closing his eyes, he grabbed tightly the guard's hand, as if fearing he would go. 

The guard squeezed back with a redden face. He looked away in embarrassment by the proximity, but didn't say anything.

A comfortable silence meet the room— but just like always, nothing was ever quiet here.

”[Name].” A voice is present, and both males look at the door to see Mike and Levi, who are staring intently at both of them with cryptic eyes. 

“H—Hi, Mike, Levi!” [name] quickly let go of Vincent's hands and left his side slightly by moving a bit further away. Vincent felt a bit upset by that, but understood. He also stood up without a word, leaving a bit of space between all of them.

There's silence. The ravenette approaches him, levi takes his chin and raises it slightly, wanting to see the harsh marks more clearly. They are greenish and purplish— and he can see how [Name] tenses at the slightest movement on his neck. 

Anger is not the word he can describe his emotions— rage? fury? He doesn’t know, but what he knows is that seeing those marks is surely infuriating. They looked disgusting, yet pleasing. He only wanted to hear [name] quiver and whimper by his touch— to remind him of his incompetence and naivety.

“What a deja vù,” Mike says— It certainly was. The only difference was the gravity of the attack, which was quite big. He asks worriedly, “do you feel alright?”

The assistant didn’t waste time in responding. “Of course I am!!! I’m totally fine, it was just a big scare!” Laughing nervously, [Name] tries to ease the tension; but not even him takes comfort in his words. His body tensed, his hands shook.

”Of course you are,” Levi says without believing him, touching a little bit the bruises. The assistant jumps by the pain and gasps, and the guard doesn’t keep his mouth shut by the cruel act.

”Hey! Please be careful, Mr. Ackerman,” Vincent doesn’t hold himself and speaks without thinking, yanking [Name] to him with a protector stance, “Dr. [Last Name] is not alright, even if he says so. Touching his bruises is not needed,”

Levi narrows his eyes at him, glaring in disgust, “you think I don’t know that, filthy guard? We all know this inept assistant can’t stop himself in going into trouble— and lying about something we all can see is fucking idiotic.”

”I believe Dr. [Last Name] doesn't want to hear such things in his state, Mr. Ackerman. Please, have empathy.”

[name] gets up, trying to ease the whole thing. ”N—No—! It’s okay, Vincent. It’s— it’s the truth. I’m being useless by going into trouble. I should know how to handle these things, I’m sorry.”

It was then that Levi caught a glimpse of red on his coat. How disgusting. "Looks like you get into whatever mess you can," he sent a short look at the blood, crossing his arms. Maybe it was because there were more people in the room, maybe it was his repulsion, but he did stopped himself from giving [name] a piece of his mind. He wanted to say how unable he was of taking care of himself; how utterly weak he would always be, "always needing someone to clean your shit. How disappointing," 

"And what now? A guard sticking his nose where it doesn't belong?" he sent a glare to Vincent, who didn't have a problem holding the stare contest, "know your place. You are here to work, so get out and work, before I take this shitty job away from you."

He is really angry... [name] thought. He gave a slow nod at Vincent, knowing he wouldn't leave easily if he didn't respond. Nevertheless, he knew the guard wasn't satisfied at all, noticing how annoyed he looked.

"Understood, sir. Have a nice day," he said before leaving, almost talking trough his teeth. [Name] felt bad being the one causing all of this, but he really couldn't do anything.

"That isn't going to come out easily," Mike signaled the stains, looking a them with a frown. [name] stared at them too, lost in thought.

"...Yeah, I know," well, he was already imagining himself trying to wash this tonight. Good thing he wasn't that close, but the mere thought of someone's else blood on his clothes made him ill again. "Wish me luck, tough," he showed a weak smile, trying to ease himself.

Levi just stared with a frown, not understanding his pathetic display. He looked pitiful— his hands shook, he was pale as fuck, his hair had become a mess, his coat had blood, his bruises made him look like he was out of his mind, and yet, that pathetic, miserable smile was enough to annoy him. That stupid smile that made him look like... his usual idiotic careless self. What made him, him. 

"You look like you are going to faint," Mike plainly stated, making [name] sit down once again. "I think you should go home already— I will notify Erwin so there's no need to worry."

"I-It's alright, I don't feel that bad!" just the idea of leaving job unfinished made him feel even worse. He had work to do! Even if he saw someone d...die... "I-I can just stop wearing my coat for t-today—" the images of the doctor on the ground surrounded by thick blood didn't make him feel less ill. He covered his mouth as he retched, breathing a bit erratically to stop himself of throwing up again. Mike's hand guided his head to look at the ceiling, saying it was not good to look down.

"Yeah, I don't think so," he touched [name]'s forehead, humming, "I think you are going to get sick, [name]."

"S-Sick...? But I can't! I have too much to do! I refuse to be sick!!!"

"Not something you have a say, I'm afraid."

"I refuse, Mike!!!"

"What a brat, talking to his elders like that," Levi could not just silence himself at such childish demeanor. 

"Ah—!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way!!"

The air seemed to lighten a bit, thankfully. Mike chuckled, loving this side of [name]. It was a nice change around this place— he looked pretty cute, too. A smile he wanted to protect. "Anyways, jokes aside, you really don't look good. And I know you don't feel good, so for the best you should call it a day."

"Give me that," Levi gestured the coat in disgust, "I will take care of it. I know you will not do shit to those stains, and you will look disgusting if your lazy ass leave them. So give that shit to me and for my sake, will clean that."

"W-What?! You can't do that!" [name] shook his head with a redden face, "I--I can do it, sir! T-There's no—"

"I didn't ask you, brat. Give it to me before I tore it out of you," with this, [name] couldn't just say no. He obeyed, like a good boy. Thankfully it wasn't that bad, but the stains were noticeable, so they needed to be gone. Of course, someone like [name] didn't know how to clean the blood out of fabrics, but Levi did. "And yes, you indeed look like shit."

"But how can I just leave...?"

"There's a front door."

"Hahaha... not funny..."

"I believe Levi here will accompany you there, since I'm going to notify Erwin of your absence for today and tomorrow. So don't bash your head because of that," Mike stated, getting some strands off of [name]'s face, gently caressing his forehead, "and I believe you are not strong enough right now to walk by yourself. So give yourself some care and obey."

"Nice. More unnecessary work, fucking tree."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

While the two walked trough the building, [name] could not stop feeling bad about making Levi do things he shouldn't be doing in the first place. He looked down in misery, pouting. "I'm sorry, sir... I didn't mean this to happen."

Levi just stared ahead with his neutral yet annoyed face. "Me neither,"

As they finally got to the entrance, [name] showed an apologetic smile. "Well, thank you for your help! We will see—"

"What the hell are you rambling about?" Levi narrowed his eyes, "you think you are capable of walking in this shitty state? I thought you could think with that head of yours, but actually I didn't."

[name] blinked, confused. "Uh?"

"I'm giving you a ride, brat. What else?" Levi stated as if was obvious, letting out a low I'm not that kind of bastard. He opened the doors to leave, [name] following behind him.

This time [name] felt even worse. "B-But that's just too much! I'm fine to walk! Really!"

"I'm just going to ignore your rambling and get to the car. I advice you to do the same." He said with a harsh tone, done with the whole ordeal. "or should I wait for you to faint and get you inside,"

"I... I'm sorry you have to do all of this,"

"Christ, you are making it sound like this is hell," he raised an eyebrow at this, "making a big deal out of this... ridiculous. Just get in the car."

But [name] didn't. He stood there, looking at the ground in shame. His whole day was already ruined to begin with, but this was the icing on the cake. He felt utterly worthless, and relying on others is what made him more upset. He didn't mean this, really.

Nevertheless, even if Levi wanted to say he was being a dumbass, he could see how upsetting [name] was getting. He looked like he was going to cry, for fuck sake. Sighing, he prepared his next words to finish this whole ordeal, relaxing his shoulders."Look," [name] slightly raised his head, looking like a child, "I'm doing this because I want to. Like hell I'm going to be following someone's else orders, even less if they are from that ugly tree. You do look like shit, and I'm not..." he stopped himself, unsure, but kept going, "I'm not going to be satisfied until I sent you home myself, alright? So stop giving me that st-- that look, and get in the damn car."

[name] blinked, once again. This was... one of the first time Levi was being honest with him— and he did noticed how he held himself back to appear less... harsh. Sometimes, [name] believed Levi saw him as a nuisance. But this... made him think otherwise. Perhaps Levi only said rude things to him but didn't mean them that much. Nevertheless, he felt lighter with this confession, or to be precise, he felt a bit happier. His smile was genuine this time, Levi could tell. "...Okay."

This brat... making me say shit like this. Thankfully, the ride was filled with comfortable silence— [name] fell asleep quickly, and Levi was content enough.

So cute...