Nicoledavisss - Wistful Thinking

If you’re a teen you must follow this blog.

Sometimes,

I wish I could go back to being a kid. When I was a kid, life was so easy. No worries about money, not having my heart broken into a million pieces, the newest technologies or getting a licence. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends, play outside, play video games, and crush on celebrities. I hate that I had to grow up just to work a shitty job for shitty pay to try and make ends meet, to deal with stress on a daily basis, to deal with my heart being broken so many times, and to lose the people who were very close to me. But, I keep my head up and work through them because I have a lot to live for and I’m not gonna waste myself away stressing out about stupid crap. My family, my close friends and my boyfriend are all that matter to me and they are the ones who keep me sane in this place I call hell.

Still Dream Of You

Is it bad that I still dream about you? Still think of what life would be like today if you never left. Why everytime I close my eyes to sleep, there you are, sitting beside me telling me that everything is okay. Holding me, kissing me, loving me. I still can't shake you from my mind, and I have no idea why. Just last night I had a dream about you. We were hanging out somewhere with a group of people I knew and you were sitting across from me. You kept looking at me and smiling but not saying anything. Then you talked, and oh my heart melted at the sound of your voice. So gentle and so soft. I can still hear it now. You asked me what my plans were for the night and I told you, unfortunately, I had to work and you said that's too bad because you wanted me to join you because you were going bowling (weird, since that's something you never did). And I said, well I can always call out. I mean, I do have tomorrow night off anyway and I've only called out of work 2 times since I've been there. And then your face lit up and you blushed at the thought of me joining you. You said, are you sure? And I said, of course. I would be more than happy to call out and join you tonight. You said, awesome with a smile on your face which in turn made me smile. I then mentioned that I would need to go home and shower and what not before we went out and you said that you had a shower I could use at your place, blushing as you said it. I said okay, blushing as well. Everything turned black and then we're at your house. So bright and cheery. I can just barely remember the layout and the furniture. I can remember, me getting out of the shower and you waiting by the door (as if you haven't seen me nude before). I get out and I remember you touching my neck, so softly. And then you just grab me and kiss me. My world exploded as I felt the same spark I felt when we had our first kiss. I melted into you like we were one again. I woke up after this, I guess my mind didn't want me to see any more as I had woken up almost 3 hours before my alarm was scheduled. I don't know why I still dream of you as if you're coming back into my life. I would love that more than anything but I'm not sure if it'll happen or not. Maybe it's a sign? I don't know. All I know is that as always I miss you.

& Tonight;

All I can think about is you. I miss you terribly. I wish I got to see you tonight. It would have put my mind at ease. God, why can't I be happy like I was when we were together? You're my rock, my world, my everything. I don't know where I'd be without you. I want you to know that you mean the world to me, never forget that. I feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up any minute and you'll be right by my side telling me that you love me and everything is okay. As for now, I guess I'm forced to live in this hell of emotionless heartbreak. Please, wake me up soon, I don't wanna live in this hell anymore. I want you to know that if I ever decide to leave this world, I hope you'll be right there by my side telling me that everything is going to get better. I hope you can save me like you've done before. As for now, I shall try to sleep. Goodnight my sweet prince. I love you so much. I hope you come back. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.

>:(

getting really tired of my money getting played with at work. I’m supposed to be getting paid $10 an hour and our payroll system still says that I’m getting paid $9 an hour. I’m not gonna keep saying something about it to anyone. I’m getting fed up with it.... If I have to ask one more time, I will change my line of business. I can’t work for a business that could give a rats ass about it’s employees.... it’s either the company or the TL’s don’t do the shit they say they are gonna do. I’m getting sick of it.

Honestly;

I've grown tired of listening to people bitch about how much their life sucks. I'm too fat, I'm so depressed cause of this person. blah blah blah. I'll admit, I can be one of those people who complains about things. But, nobody is perfect. And nobody should be. But despite all my issues, I'm happy. Yes, everyone has their own set of problems, but that's what life is about. Dealing with problems and overcoming them. But, take look around you and see all the things you have. A roof over your head, food on the table and a family who loves you despite your downfalls. There are people out there who would kill the have a house to live in, and food on the table every night. And most, are all alone because their families have neglected them, or have all passed away. But, no matter what they have to deal with, they do it with a huge smile on their face because they're happy to be alive. Happy the be breathing. So, stop worrying about the little things and just be happy to be alive.